What do you think?
Rate this book
Crust Investigates
London, the 1880s. Fear stalks the streets in the form of Jack the Ripper, the slums are suffering an epidemic of crime and depravity, and the population is a seething mass of undesirables and ne’er-do-wells. Many in the capital know of the legendary detective, Sherlock Homes, but not as well known is that further up the staircase from his abode is 221C Baker Street, home to another notable mind in the world of sleuthery.
Offensive, obstinate, devious and depraved, Crust brings an unparalleled cynicism to the world of paranormal investigations, aided by the fact he believes in nothing which doesn’t come in a pint bottle. With the true values of a Victorian gentleman, he sets out to do the thing he loves making easy money!
When Crust is on the case, no one is safe!
Offensive, obstinate, devious and depraved, Crust brings an unparalleled cynicism to the world of paranormal investigations, aided by the fact he believes in nothing which doesn’t come in a pint bottle. With the true values of a Victorian gentleman, he sets out to do the thing he loves making easy money!
When Crust is on the case, no one is safe!
Unknown Binding
2 people are currently reading
14 people want to read
About the author
Peter Caffrey
35 books96 followersPeter Caffrey creates stories stained with the darkest of dark humour, featuring elements of splattery filth, horror, bizarro and absurdity.
Alongside numerous books, his work has also appeared in a number of anthologies including ABC’s of Terror (Vol 4), Call Me Hoop, Unamerican Trash, In Uterus, Prose in Poor Taste (Vol 2), The Best of Bizarro Fiction (Vol 2) and The Bumper Book of British Bizarro. He has also featured in many publications including Underbelly, Horror Sleaze Trash, Infernal Ink, Terror House, Frontier Tales and Schlock!
He likes apes, dislikes gravity, and is unlikely to change.
Alongside numerous books, his work has also appeared in a number of anthologies including ABC’s of Terror (Vol 4), Call Me Hoop, Unamerican Trash, In Uterus, Prose in Poor Taste (Vol 2), The Best of Bizarro Fiction (Vol 2) and The Bumper Book of British Bizarro. He has also featured in many publications including Underbelly, Horror Sleaze Trash, Infernal Ink, Terror House, Frontier Tales and Schlock!
He likes apes, dislikes gravity, and is unlikely to change.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
April 18, 2025
I just cannot explain how amazing this book is. It's so ridiculous, outrageous, hilarious and crazy; it's brilliant. Not taking itself seriously and set in a time period where the author can capitalise on and mock the absurd misogynistic and bigoted views makes for lots of laugh out loud moments. Five investigations contained within the book, each with its own level of ridiculousness. I hope we see more from Crust and Susan, a fantastically ludicrous odd coupling.
January 25, 2025
This was my fourth Peter Caffrey book and again the author did not disappoint. I never know what to expect with Peter's books as each is so unique. I loved the setting of Crust Investigates with its numerous historical figures. Crust's obsession with menstruation and his numerous descriptions of it were a constant source of mirth. The adventures of Crust and Susan were great to read about with each case being captivating. Excited to continue reading Peter's work. If you're looking for something different Peter Caffrey is your man. Highly recommended.
April 2, 2024
This is the first in a new series by Caffrey, it's a little bit different but have no doubt, it lives up to his debauched, depraved and utterly hilarious standards, and I cannot wait for more!
This story kicks off immediately with Caffreys delightfully dark and twisted sense of humour when he introduces us to Crust and Susan. Crust and Susan are the brilliantly comical partnership you never knew you needed in your life. Their antics will have you howling, and the story of how Susan became Susan is hysterical. Be prepared for some Victorian style insults and pranks, kind of like the classic 70s and 80s sitcoms we grew up with, think Carry On/Laurel and Hardy/Caffrey style!! 😂
As always, Peter's narration is perfectly descriptive, transporting you directly into the story, dragging you in and holding you there, immersing you fully into the experience, where he will have you crying with laughter the whole time!
Crust and Susan are a pair of dodgy dealers, a kind of Rodney and Delboy of yesteryear. They’re fleeing their landlord and embarking on a new start to their less than savoury lives. Starting with their new residence at 221C Baker Street, right next door to a certain Mister’s Holmes and Watson. And when, not long after moving in, the perfect opportunity arises for them to make some money, without too much effort, and a little less scamming, kinda, and also get an upgrade to their residency, that's when we get to behold…. “Crust. Paranormal Investigator.” Oh, and his dwarf sidekick, Susan, a loveable, shillelagh wielding thug.
We follow them as they investigate The White Lady of Walcot Hall, despite having no beliefs whatsoever in ghosts and the paranormal. They set out to prove everyone wrong, trying to pin the majority of supernatural occurrences on the women of the home and their time of the month, and the ingenious and inventive ways that Peter describes this particular event will have you in stitches! 😂
The pair's shenanigans are exaggerated by Crusts addiction to Laudanum and their absolute determination to rip people off! The pair get lost in their dedication to the cause and when they finally discover the truth, it's rather unexpected and brilliantly comical.
Caffrey has returned with a real banger, and this is just the beginning…. full of hijinks, twisted good fun, inventive cursing, sexual deviance and surprises, all the good stuff that we've come to love from Mr. C. 💚
This story kicks off immediately with Caffreys delightfully dark and twisted sense of humour when he introduces us to Crust and Susan. Crust and Susan are the brilliantly comical partnership you never knew you needed in your life. Their antics will have you howling, and the story of how Susan became Susan is hysterical. Be prepared for some Victorian style insults and pranks, kind of like the classic 70s and 80s sitcoms we grew up with, think Carry On/Laurel and Hardy/Caffrey style!! 😂
As always, Peter's narration is perfectly descriptive, transporting you directly into the story, dragging you in and holding you there, immersing you fully into the experience, where he will have you crying with laughter the whole time!
Crust and Susan are a pair of dodgy dealers, a kind of Rodney and Delboy of yesteryear. They’re fleeing their landlord and embarking on a new start to their less than savoury lives. Starting with their new residence at 221C Baker Street, right next door to a certain Mister’s Holmes and Watson. And when, not long after moving in, the perfect opportunity arises for them to make some money, without too much effort, and a little less scamming, kinda, and also get an upgrade to their residency, that's when we get to behold…. “Crust. Paranormal Investigator.” Oh, and his dwarf sidekick, Susan, a loveable, shillelagh wielding thug.
We follow them as they investigate The White Lady of Walcot Hall, despite having no beliefs whatsoever in ghosts and the paranormal. They set out to prove everyone wrong, trying to pin the majority of supernatural occurrences on the women of the home and their time of the month, and the ingenious and inventive ways that Peter describes this particular event will have you in stitches! 😂
The pair's shenanigans are exaggerated by Crusts addiction to Laudanum and their absolute determination to rip people off! The pair get lost in their dedication to the cause and when they finally discover the truth, it's rather unexpected and brilliantly comical.
Caffrey has returned with a real banger, and this is just the beginning…. full of hijinks, twisted good fun, inventive cursing, sexual deviance and surprises, all the good stuff that we've come to love from Mr. C. 💚
May 14, 2025
just an incredibly funny laugh out loud hoot of a book. Crust is a bumbling idiot and the tales that ensure are fantastic because of it. I'm not sure Peter Caffrey could have crammed in any more ways to describe the ladies time of the month if he tried😂. just a really silly fun read of the highest order. it will put a smile on your face and have you giggling out loud more than you would like to admit.
March 19, 2024
Crust and his sidekick Susan are scoundrels. No spoilers there, we find that out right at the beginning. Crust and Susan need a new place to stay…for reasons…and wouldn’t you know it, the place right above Sherlock Holmes is move-in ready.
Thus begins Crust’s first hilarious investigation, set in the spacious Walcot Hall. As per usual, Caffrey has lined up a cast of full color characters and a story full of turns and twists that usually lead to something wildly inappropriate (and probably gross).
Will Crust solve the mystery of the White Lady? More importantly, will I remember all of Crust’s Victorian euphemisms for ‘that time of the month’ when I need a conversation starter at my next cocktail party?
Definitely grab a copy of Crust.
Thus begins Crust’s first hilarious investigation, set in the spacious Walcot Hall. As per usual, Caffrey has lined up a cast of full color characters and a story full of turns and twists that usually lead to something wildly inappropriate (and probably gross).
Will Crust solve the mystery of the White Lady? More importantly, will I remember all of Crust’s Victorian euphemisms for ‘that time of the month’ when I need a conversation starter at my next cocktail party?
Definitely grab a copy of Crust.
March 19, 2024
It's no secret that I'm a huge Caffrey fan his story telling just cracks me up. Crust and his sidekick Susan are Caffrey's latest offering and you are in for a treat.
Set in Victorian London Crust a gentleman with a love of the juice will do pretty much anything for a few bob including paranormal investigations. Follow Crust on the case and laugh your arse off in the process.
Set in Victorian London Crust a gentleman with a love of the juice will do pretty much anything for a few bob including paranormal investigations. Follow Crust on the case and laugh your arse off in the process.
April 25, 2024
Move aside Holmes and Watson, Crust and Susan are taking over. Crust has a way with words and Susan has a knack of blending in. The ever charming Crust might just be my new favourite detective. Susan may disagree, but he doesn’t count. He’s just the muscle.
An absolute blast to read.
An absolute blast to read.
May 8, 2024
I freaking loved this short tale. It’s just downright fun and hilarious.
May 30, 2025
The game is a foot...up the arse of Arthur Conan Doyle!
Crust and Susan are amazing
Crust and Susan are amazing
May 5, 2024
Once again Peter delivers a story that had me laughing out loud. There's just no way you can read a Caffrey book without a smile on your face.
In this second Crust book the man is just as fun as the first. Dark humour is laced throughout this bloody good well written story.
In this second Crust book the man is just as fun as the first. Dark humour is laced throughout this bloody good well written story.
May 5, 2024
Crust is at it again with his fine detective skills. He is all ass, no class. Susan seriously needs a raise. Anything really! For me, Caffrey's humour is right up there with my favourite comedian Rik Mayall. Piss myself laughing. Love it.
June 6, 2024
If you love a good detective story then hit the laudanum with Crust and Susan for a bloody good tale. It's a short, fast paced read that is a great laugh. There's even a romantic Irish Jig in this book! Peter Caffrey definitely knows how to entertain us.
June 20, 2024
This series is once of my favorite things of all time. All four are legit, laugh out loud funny. This one might be my favorite though since I have some personal experience, in some of the subject matter. OMG so freaking good!
May 8, 2024
Second story in the series. Just as fun as the first. It’s completely ridiculous and hilarious
June 10, 2024
Crust and Susan are at it again, with their schemes and shenanigans. It’s, crude, hilarious, and highly entertaining. I love this series!
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews