A little lost for words with this volume. It was...incredible?
The chemistry continues to be absolutely off the charts. I don't really understand how it's leaps and bounds above any other manhwa I've read so far. It perfectly captures the intensity of those early stages of relationships from your youth - the college setting is perfect, because it's exactly the time in your life when you're starting to really figure out who you are and what you might want from your future, and shedding a lot of the expectations you've carried with you.
Sangwoo is, in a lot of ways, pretty straightforward. He has a clear vision for his future and his career, with both the skill and stubbornness to back it up. He's open about who he is and what he wants and isn't swayed by anyone else's opinions of him. The one wrench in all of this is this absurdly attractive, frustrating classmate whom he simply can't get enough of...
And it becomes very, very clear that not only is he sexually attracted to Jaeyoung, he's definitely getting romantically attached. Which is a problem on a number of levels. A major one, beyond all the traditional ideas of families and marriage and all that, is the fact that Jaeyoung is leaving the country in a few months, which leaves no future to their relationship.
Both of them are well aware of this; Jaeyoung is doing his best to ignore it, having convinced himself anyway that Sangwoo won't particularly care about him being gone. Sangwoo has gotten so wrapped up in the steamy, heady passion of spending so much time with Jaeyoung, he's forgotten to put any safeguards in place. Like, for instance, an insurance policy that would make it less devastating to lose someone who's quickly become such an intrinsic part of his life.
This self-preservation aspect of Sangwoo's personality leads to an absolutely devastating rift between the two of them, because the far more emotionally aware Jaeyoung can't handle Sangwoo's matter-of-fact assertion that he'll simply find someone to replace him once he's gone. It's the obvious solution. But does he have to say it so calmly and so coldly? When Jaeyoung is telling him, through his actions every single day, how in love with him he is?
This volume ends on a brutal note, with Sangwoo overrun with all those emotions Jaeyoung wouldn't have thought him capable of. He hasn't even left the country yet, and Sangwoo is already unable to function without seeing him.
The whole situation with Jaeyoung's family was surprising but added so much depth to the story. I was kind of horrified by his grandfather...he was presented as the one person Jaeyoung cared about, a doting family member who truly cared about him and who made family gatherings worthwhile. And he is...but he's also a horrible human being? I really have to wonder what Sangwoo would say if he found out about the times Jaeyoung's grandfather brutalized him - literally beating him with a golf club - for straying from the family's values and good name.
Yet Jaeyoung still loves his grandfather and wants to continue being loved by him. Even though he knows his current status, dating another man, would be one of those unforgivable things.
It's such an interesting dynamic that explains a few things about his personality and how he can be so open and caring and yet incredibly closed off. None of his relationships have ever lasted more than a month, and even with Sangwoo, he'd initially assumed he'd get over him once he satisfied his curiosity. A lot of that is his form of self-preservation, I think, because he's never actually felt truly free - which includes falling in love with someone and tying his life to them, which would require untangling himself from his horrible family.
The scenes with him talking to Sangwoo on the phone while he was at the funeral were utter perfection. Such a beautiful depiction of two people who care about each other deeply and who gain so much from simply being in each other's lives.
The only thing that's making me worry at this point - because even the brutal parts of the story are being told so well - is Jaeyoung's twin brother, who is apparently also (and more openly, maybe?) attracted to men. I know a little bit about future spoilers from the novel version, although not in enough detail to remember if Jaeyoung's brother is involved with Sangwoo at all, or if anything happens that would pull me out of how much I'm loving this story.
So far, though, this is really seeming like it might turn into my #1 favorite manhwa. It's just that good.