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Selfish
Sundae Monroe Banks was born into pain.
After losing her father and being handed over to the streets by her own mother, she learned love is dangerous, and emotions are a weakness she can’t afford.
While most girls her age are picking colleges and chasing dreams, Sundae’s out here chasing survival.
Now nineteen, cold-blooded, and wise beyond her years, she stacks money, uses men, and keeps her heart locked behind walls nobody can break through.
Trust is dead. Loyalty is strictly conditional.
But when people she thought were solid start switching sides—and the past she tried to bury claws its way back—Sundae is forced to confront the one person she’s been running from… herself.
Selfish is a raw, gritty urban fiction novel packed with betrayal, heartbreak, and survival.
If you love street lit, hood love stories, and Black coming-of-age tales with real emotion and shocking twists, Selfish is a must-read.
“Because love might heal…
But sometimes, being selfish is the only way to survive.”
After losing her father and being handed over to the streets by her own mother, she learned love is dangerous, and emotions are a weakness she can’t afford.
While most girls her age are picking colleges and chasing dreams, Sundae’s out here chasing survival.
Now nineteen, cold-blooded, and wise beyond her years, she stacks money, uses men, and keeps her heart locked behind walls nobody can break through.
Trust is dead. Loyalty is strictly conditional.
But when people she thought were solid start switching sides—and the past she tried to bury claws its way back—Sundae is forced to confront the one person she’s been running from… herself.
Selfish is a raw, gritty urban fiction novel packed with betrayal, heartbreak, and survival.
If you love street lit, hood love stories, and Black coming-of-age tales with real emotion and shocking twists, Selfish is a must-read.
“Because love might heal…
But sometimes, being selfish is the only way to survive.”
- GenresRomanceContemporary
376 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 29, 2025
545 people are currently reading
974 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 148 reviews
October 21, 2025
4.5/5
- This is a book that I will literally never be able to forget! If you enjoy urban romance, this is such a great book to pick up. It’s probably the saddest book I’ve ever read!
- Love how Sundae had so much resilience throughout the entire book! I found myself having so much empathy for her and others that have similar stories to her in real life.
- Definitely go into this book with caution because it won’t be for everyone. It’s heartbreaking. It’s raw. The writing is similar to that of most urban romances. The story is like no other!
- This is a book that I will literally never be able to forget! If you enjoy urban romance, this is such a great book to pick up. It’s probably the saddest book I’ve ever read!
- Love how Sundae had so much resilience throughout the entire book! I found myself having so much empathy for her and others that have similar stories to her in real life.
- Definitely go into this book with caution because it won’t be for everyone. It’s heartbreaking. It’s raw. The writing is similar to that of most urban romances. The story is like no other!
August 26, 2025
Sometimes you have to be selfish to save yourself!
Lawd my baby Sundae! This book had me stressed out at 2%. The most important role a parent has is to protect your children, and Vicky failed the Sundae and Nikki in the worst ways possible and when you damage your kids childhood. They take all that unhealed trauma into their adult lives. Sundae was the classic example of “hurt people hurt people.” She simply couldn’t catch a break & my heart ached for her! But when I say her resilience was unmatched!!! Many people would have folded & gave up on life in general with everything she endured. But she hung in there & I was so proud of her by the end of this book!
I joke sometimes about getting too emotionally invested in fictional characters. But this one hit different, because sadly there’s a lot of Sundaes in the world. Moral of the story is, this book was raw and deeply emotional, but I would highly recommend if you’re not easily triggered! Sundae is going to sit with me for a minute & I hope to see more of her!
Lawd my baby Sundae! This book had me stressed out at 2%. The most important role a parent has is to protect your children, and Vicky failed the Sundae and Nikki in the worst ways possible and when you damage your kids childhood. They take all that unhealed trauma into their adult lives. Sundae was the classic example of “hurt people hurt people.” She simply couldn’t catch a break & my heart ached for her! But when I say her resilience was unmatched!!! Many people would have folded & gave up on life in general with everything she endured. But she hung in there & I was so proud of her by the end of this book!
I joke sometimes about getting too emotionally invested in fictional characters. But this one hit different, because sadly there’s a lot of Sundaes in the world. Moral of the story is, this book was raw and deeply emotional, but I would highly recommend if you’re not easily triggered! Sundae is going to sit with me for a minute & I hope to see more of her!
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June 1, 2025DNF
This was a lot and while the trigger warning was there I don’t feel like it even begins to capture the level of horror the reader has to experience traveling on the journey with Sundae. Too many descriptive Rape scenes featuring a minor. I’m sorry it was just way too much I don’t think I’m the most sensitive person but this one turned my stomach.
This was a lot and while the trigger warning was there I don’t feel like it even begins to capture the level of horror the reader has to experience traveling on the journey with Sundae. Too many descriptive Rape scenes featuring a minor. I’m sorry it was just way too much I don’t think I’m the most sensitive person but this one turned my stomach.
September 6, 2025
Ehh MID. It wasn’t enough to feel the connection with the love interest or her “found family” and the main character was going through it at 19. I get it … it’s realistic but damn.
June 5, 2025
Rating 3.75 rounded up to 4
Please be sure to read the trigger warning before diving in. This is a raw coming-of-age story filled with get-it-how-you-live energy, heartbreak, and betrayal. Sundae’s journey is heartbreaking at times, and while the story had its heavy moments, I was genuinely happy to see her finally find some peace!
The mall scene with her & Deja 🤣
Please be sure to read the trigger warning before diving in. This is a raw coming-of-age story filled with get-it-how-you-live energy, heartbreak, and betrayal. Sundae’s journey is heartbreaking at times, and while the story had its heavy moments, I was genuinely happy to see her finally find some peace!
The mall scene with her & Deja 🤣
October 12, 2025
whew 😥
4.5✨Selfish was such a gut wrenching story. It was raw, heavy, and emotional. Sundae dealt with so many hardships, just trying to survive. She dealt with heartbreaks and relationships that were doomed from the start. Her “mother” failed her; at an early age Sundae was doing grown up things and that’s never okay. And being in a constant state of survival and not living is a feeling that resonates with me. My heart poured out for Sundae but thankfully Onyx was there affirming her throughout.
4.5✨Selfish was such a gut wrenching story. It was raw, heavy, and emotional. Sundae dealt with so many hardships, just trying to survive. She dealt with heartbreaks and relationships that were doomed from the start. Her “mother” failed her; at an early age Sundae was doing grown up things and that’s never okay. And being in a constant state of survival and not living is a feeling that resonates with me. My heart poured out for Sundae but thankfully Onyx was there affirming her throughout.
May 29, 2025
Kutura B did her thing! I’m sooo happy I read this book because we all know a Sundae or was a Sundae. When reading this book I felt every emotion and couldn’t put it down. Onyx is BAE! He was sooo gentle but with the ish too. I can’t wait to read more from Kutura 🥰
September 13, 2025
4.5 🌟
“I used to pour every piece of myself into people—even when it left me hollow.
I thought love meant breaking myself just to keep others whole.
I believed the pain was part of the promise... that if I bled enough, maybe they'd stay.
But now? I give on my terms.
I'm still selfish—but not in the way they warned me about.
Now, it's for the right reasons
Now, it's to save me.”
First of all, the cover of this book is absolutely gorgeous and I will be getting a physical copy just because of that tbh... But I did NOT expect to annotate sooooo much reading this, but so much of what Sundae was feeling, thinking and going through was so relatable to the younger me and I honestly wish my teenage self had read books like this growing up because so much unintentionally wisdom and guidance was given that I could've benefitted from when I was in my teens.
Also, I peeped the inspiration taken from the hood classic movie “Players Club” and I'm not mad at it; I feel the author did it justice! And I can also appreciate how well the ending was wrapped up with no storylines left unconcluded. Although, I wish a little more time was given to Sundae and Onyx's romance, I'm happy to see Sundae (and Nikki) finally got some sorta HEA... Hopefully that's not a spoiler!
All in all, this was exactly the fast-paced, messy, addictive, engaging read I needed to avoid a book slump and I will definitely be reading more from this author sooner than later! Her pen game is nice imo. 10 out of 10 recommend adding this one to your TBR if you're a lover of urban fiction / urban romance!!!
“I used to pour every piece of myself into people—even when it left me hollow.
I thought love meant breaking myself just to keep others whole.
I believed the pain was part of the promise... that if I bled enough, maybe they'd stay.
But now? I give on my terms.
I'm still selfish—but not in the way they warned me about.
Now, it's for the right reasons
Now, it's to save me.”
First of all, the cover of this book is absolutely gorgeous and I will be getting a physical copy just because of that tbh... But I did NOT expect to annotate sooooo much reading this, but so much of what Sundae was feeling, thinking and going through was so relatable to the younger me and I honestly wish my teenage self had read books like this growing up because so much unintentionally wisdom and guidance was given that I could've benefitted from when I was in my teens.
Also, I peeped the inspiration taken from the hood classic movie “Players Club” and I'm not mad at it; I feel the author did it justice! And I can also appreciate how well the ending was wrapped up with no storylines left unconcluded. Although, I wish a little more time was given to Sundae and Onyx's romance, I'm happy to see Sundae (and Nikki) finally got some sorta HEA... Hopefully that's not a spoiler!
All in all, this was exactly the fast-paced, messy, addictive, engaging read I needed to avoid a book slump and I will definitely be reading more from this author sooner than later! Her pen game is nice imo. 10 out of 10 recommend adding this one to your TBR if you're a lover of urban fiction / urban romance!!!
November 4, 2025
I felt immense sympathy for Sundae; no one should have to endure the life she was given. Moments in the book were so immersive I felt like I was right there at the Pynk in P-Valley! Other parts, however, made me want to throw the book across the room. It provided a harsh perspective on how your environment and the people in it can crush you. The only way to break free, it showed, is to prioritize yourself and be "selfish."
September 13, 2025
4.5⭐️. I knew it would be Onyx. He was so patient and kind. He waited for the right time. Sundae the horrible childhood. Vicki was pure evil. The things she said were just horrible unforgivable strung out or not.
Sundae never gave up she made some wrong decisions but she still held on to her dreams. In the end she ended up with a small circle but it was a circle she could trust.
Sundae never gave up she made some wrong decisions but she still held on to her dreams. In the end she ended up with a small circle but it was a circle she could trust.
June 20, 2025
Sundae
This book was so good! First read from the author and it was a great read! The end had me tearing up!! Cheers to the girls who made it out!
This book was so good! First read from the author and it was a great read! The end had me tearing up!! Cheers to the girls who made it out!
September 16, 2025
This book is def an emotion roller coasters and teaches you a lot about trust. I can say though that EVERY character got on my nerves at a point even the FMC but I cut her slack due to every that that happened to her. Onyx the man of the hour is so sweet and patient and that’s what sundae needed especially with the chaos that was going on. PLEASE check your triggers if you do end up reading this.
July 1, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️.25
November 11, 2025
4/5
- This was a heavy read and I felt for Sundae throughout this whole story. Sundae was just trying to survive with the cards she was dealt.
- I experienced different emotions while reading — anger, empathy, and even happiness during some portions. Read the trigger warning before jumping into this raw coming-of-age story.
- This was a heavy read and I felt for Sundae throughout this whole story. Sundae was just trying to survive with the cards she was dealt.
- I experienced different emotions while reading — anger, empathy, and even happiness during some portions. Read the trigger warning before jumping into this raw coming-of-age story.
September 7, 2025
Healing!!
I loved this book so much! I wanted to whoop sundae and hug her at the same time. No child should experience the things she did. Trauma, bad relationships, bad friendships & personal growth is what it gave! Deja was a typical snake friend who was the type of friend of convenience only! With a friend like Deja, who needs enemies! Onyx, Onyx!! You did that! He was exactly what Sundae needed. He loved her without judgement. Cracked them walls right on down, and cracked sis back to! I’m just so happy things worked out the way they did. I was scared for a moment the way Trae had my sis moving! 10/10 read for me! Great read
I loved this book so much! I wanted to whoop sundae and hug her at the same time. No child should experience the things she did. Trauma, bad relationships, bad friendships & personal growth is what it gave! Deja was a typical snake friend who was the type of friend of convenience only! With a friend like Deja, who needs enemies! Onyx, Onyx!! You did that! He was exactly what Sundae needed. He loved her without judgement. Cracked them walls right on down, and cracked sis back to! I’m just so happy things worked out the way they did. I was scared for a moment the way Trae had my sis moving! 10/10 read for me! Great read
November 9, 2025
4.5⭐️
I ate this book up!! This is a story that’ll stick with me because it was such an intense roller coaster. I was so happy that Sundae was able to have her peace because sis couldn’t catch a break!!
The story was paced well & I really enjoyed the writing bc the language was one I could relate to. I did feel like we could’ve had more of Onyx.. I didn’t get to know too much about him & I wasn’t a fan how he’d always pop up at the “right” moments. Other than that, I really enjoyed this book. Would def recommend!
I ate this book up!! This is a story that’ll stick with me because it was such an intense roller coaster. I was so happy that Sundae was able to have her peace because sis couldn’t catch a break!!
The story was paced well & I really enjoyed the writing bc the language was one I could relate to. I did feel like we could’ve had more of Onyx.. I didn’t get to know too much about him & I wasn’t a fan how he’d always pop up at the “right” moments. Other than that, I really enjoyed this book. Would def recommend!
January 21, 2026
4.5 ✨
This is a book that will stay with me…literally. It had me invested from the first page. While Sundae is a fictional character, her story is so relatable and just hit me in a different way, a heartbreaking but inspiring way, as we watched Sundae overcome and preserve through things no child, no woman, should have to endure. I highly recommend this book but read with caution and check the trigger warnings, because this book you touches on some heavy things that bring on some intense emotions. I look forward to reading more from this author.
This is a book that will stay with me…literally. It had me invested from the first page. While Sundae is a fictional character, her story is so relatable and just hit me in a different way, a heartbreaking but inspiring way, as we watched Sundae overcome and preserve through things no child, no woman, should have to endure. I highly recommend this book but read with caution and check the trigger warnings, because this book you touches on some heavy things that bring on some intense emotions. I look forward to reading more from this author.
June 4, 2025
Sundae ♥️
My girl sundae went through it in this book but she was a rose that grew from concrete. After the rain there's a rainbow. So glad that she found some peace & joy in her life
My girl sundae went through it in this book but she was a rose that grew from concrete. After the rain there's a rainbow. So glad that she found some peace & joy in her life
August 24, 2025
perfect story
This story had me angry, sad, laughing, emotional and happy. If you have ever seen or lived this life then you know exactly how sundae feels. This was a really good book and I need it on my shelf asap because wow being selfish to save yourself is deep
This story had me angry, sad, laughing, emotional and happy. If you have ever seen or lived this life then you know exactly how sundae feels. This was a really good book and I need it on my shelf asap because wow being selfish to save yourself is deep
June 16, 2025
Wheew chile… this book?! It had me locked in from start to finish
this was a good read ‼️‼️
this was a good read ‼️‼️
October 6, 2025
I liked the story overall, but I feel like there is something missing. I needed more of the MMC and the development of their relationship.
November 10, 2025
Finished it in 1 day it was so good
November 16, 2025
This book was so good. If you like players club, read this book. I loved this ending.
June 25, 2025
This book is heavy. If you’re looking for something light and fluffy, this isn’t it. The female main character goes through nearly every heartbreaking and traumatic experience imaginable—it’s intense. And that’s coming from someone who usually doesn’t even check trigger warnings.
July 31, 2025
This is the first book I’ve ever read by Kutura B, and whew… it won’t be the last! Selfish had me crying, angry, and cheering all at the same time. The way the author makes you feel the pain and betrayal these characters went through will lock you in from page one.
Deja? Fake friend energy all day. Trae wanted his cake and to eat it too—glad Sundae finally let him go! Vickie, her mother, was the devil in disguise, and my heart broke for Niki just trying to survive. But what I loved most was Sundae’s journey. She went through hell, yet she found her strength, went back to school, and got her life back. God was truly on her side.
And Onyx? Book bae forever. The way he loved Sundae for exactly who she was, baggage and all, melted my heart.
This story was raw, emotional, and unapologetic. It’s about survival, betrayal, and realizing that sometimes putting yourself first is the only way to stay alive. If you love gritty urban fiction that makes you feel every emotion, this is a must-read. 🔥💔
Deja? Fake friend energy all day. Trae wanted his cake and to eat it too—glad Sundae finally let him go! Vickie, her mother, was the devil in disguise, and my heart broke for Niki just trying to survive. But what I loved most was Sundae’s journey. She went through hell, yet she found her strength, went back to school, and got her life back. God was truly on her side.
And Onyx? Book bae forever. The way he loved Sundae for exactly who she was, baggage and all, melted my heart.
This story was raw, emotional, and unapologetic. It’s about survival, betrayal, and realizing that sometimes putting yourself first is the only way to stay alive. If you love gritty urban fiction that makes you feel every emotion, this is a must-read. 🔥💔
July 17, 2025
Bruh Sundae couldn’t catch a break to save her life and that damn Vicky just got added to the trash ass mommas list for book mamas… I think all them damn sickos got off way to easy that shit was terrible… I was glad to see Nikki turn around and become whole again it was sad to see her fall down that rabbit hole as if her future was already marked to be as fkdup as Sundae and Vicky… Onyx was definitely the best thing she never knew she needed… I loved him and I want more of him and his brother I know they have a story to tell. Overall this was a good coming of age story but hunny adhere to those trigger warnings. This my first read by this author and I look forward to more
June 26, 2025
🔥🔥🔥❤️❤️❤️
KuTuraaaa!!! You snapped when you wrote this book! 🔥🔥🔥This read was so good had me gone from the moment I started reading this book! 😩😍😍 this book had me feeling all type of emotions 😩 and I loved every minute of it! Sundae - her unwavering strength, loyalty to those she love spoke volumes! I love Onyx too! They are a perfect match for one another! I just want to say you never know what a person story is or what they had to overcome.. so many lessons was taught through reading this book I’m so happy Sundae finally got the peace, love, joy, and happiness she deserves!🥰🥰🥰
KuTuraaaa!!! You snapped when you wrote this book! 🔥🔥🔥This read was so good had me gone from the moment I started reading this book! 😩😍😍 this book had me feeling all type of emotions 😩 and I loved every minute of it! Sundae - her unwavering strength, loyalty to those she love spoke volumes! I love Onyx too! They are a perfect match for one another! I just want to say you never know what a person story is or what they had to overcome.. so many lessons was taught through reading this book I’m so happy Sundae finally got the peace, love, joy, and happiness she deserves!🥰🥰🥰
October 8, 2025
Locked in from start to finish! My girl Sundae went through it all,from abuse and childhood trauma to straight, up betrayal. The way she finally got to experience genuine love with Onyx had me cheesin’… he’s definitely giving Duke Dennis vibes 🫦. I had a weird gut feeling about Deja the moment I peeped how man, crazy she was, shawty was wildin’ for real. And Nikki?? Nahhh, that scene had me shook. Just imagine walking in on your 15-year-old sister doing the unthinkable.. NASTY work!
Overall, this was a good coming-of-age story. Fast money ain’t always good money, and in the end everybody who did Sundae dirty got exactly what they deserved 🙂↕️
10s across the board, Ms. M’am 🫰🏾⭐️
Overall, this was a good coming-of-age story. Fast money ain’t always good money, and in the end everybody who did Sundae dirty got exactly what they deserved 🙂↕️
10s across the board, Ms. M’am 🫰🏾⭐️
July 17, 2025
DNF wasn’t interesting enough. There was trauma but I started to get bored. Stopped at 34%
June 18, 2025
“I thought if I kept pushing, I’d be okay,” I whispered. “But I've been surviving so long… I forgot what it feels like to live.” — I don’t think she knew what it felt like to live. This nineteen year old girl spent her whole life surviving. She took so many licks man and made decisions that she thought was best for her and would get her far away from the life her mother lived. I didn’t fault her for any of the decisions she made even while scared and hoping at every turn she would change her mind and/or trust her gut. I think Sundae is going to live with me for a while.
This book scared me from KuTura’s note. I was so worried about Sundae. From the start of her life there was pain. Her father died from a drug overdose and her mother was an addict who did drugs in front of her. Her mother sold Sundae’s body to grown disgusting men for money and security.
Sundae tried to protect her heart so she wouldn’t feel the pain and letdown that she knew would follow love. She started out dating multiple men for a little bit of money and no love. She decided to give one of her men a chance to be there for her. I was fearful that she would end up broken. She didn’t want that and I hoped that would not happen.
As the book progressed my fear changed and increased. Sundae was making decisions that could lead her down a destructive path with more pain than heartache. This girl was making decisions to make quick money that could have left her dead. Her boyfriend Trae convinced her to set up men so he could rob them. They completed one which didn’t end well, but they got the money. Trae convinced her to do one more.
The dude was Ced, a man who she said was a “certified killa— and freak”. She said women who were seen with this man seemed to go missing. She went to the private room with this man who had power and clout. Sundae felt in her gut that something was wrong, but she thought the money would be worth it. I kept wondering why she thought it was okay to set up a freak and killer. I kept hoping she would follow her gut.
I was also wondering why she was risking her life for money with Trae and Deja her best friend. Their relationship was rocky at best and she should not have been putting her trust in them. I know she wasn’t thinking about their current relationship, but I was so nervous for her.
It was at that decision of hers that made me want to flip to the last three pages of the book to make sure she didn’t end up dead or addicted to drugs. I was willing to end the book early if it bad. I did not want to be heartbroken. Thankfully I did not succumb to my anxiety. I read the book though and more bad things happened to my girl Sundae before she got her happy ending.
That woman deserved to be happy and to start living the life she wanted.
4/5 stars
This book scared me from KuTura’s note. I was so worried about Sundae. From the start of her life there was pain. Her father died from a drug overdose and her mother was an addict who did drugs in front of her. Her mother sold Sundae’s body to grown disgusting men for money and security.
Sundae tried to protect her heart so she wouldn’t feel the pain and letdown that she knew would follow love. She started out dating multiple men for a little bit of money and no love. She decided to give one of her men a chance to be there for her. I was fearful that she would end up broken. She didn’t want that and I hoped that would not happen.
As the book progressed my fear changed and increased. Sundae was making decisions that could lead her down a destructive path with more pain than heartache. This girl was making decisions to make quick money that could have left her dead. Her boyfriend Trae convinced her to set up men so he could rob them. They completed one which didn’t end well, but they got the money. Trae convinced her to do one more.
The dude was Ced, a man who she said was a “certified killa— and freak”. She said women who were seen with this man seemed to go missing. She went to the private room with this man who had power and clout. Sundae felt in her gut that something was wrong, but she thought the money would be worth it. I kept wondering why she thought it was okay to set up a freak and killer. I kept hoping she would follow her gut.
I was also wondering why she was risking her life for money with Trae and Deja her best friend. Their relationship was rocky at best and she should not have been putting her trust in them. I know she wasn’t thinking about their current relationship, but I was so nervous for her.
It was at that decision of hers that made me want to flip to the last three pages of the book to make sure she didn’t end up dead or addicted to drugs. I was willing to end the book early if it bad. I did not want to be heartbroken. Thankfully I did not succumb to my anxiety. I read the book though and more bad things happened to my girl Sundae before she got her happy ending.
That woman deserved to be happy and to start living the life she wanted.
4/5 stars
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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