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Don't Need a Sausage: Online Dating Disasters
Don't Need a A Memoir of Modern Dating Disasters
Twenty-four years of online dating. One woman's brutally honest confession.
What happens when you spend over two decades searching for love and find everything except what you're looking for?
You get the most raw, hilarious, and painfully relatable memoir about modern romance that readers are calling "my dating life in a book."
From the man who brought three expensive perfumes and five years of lies, to the Portuguese charmer with a hidden agenda, Hilda Sky has survived dating disasters that would make anyone lose faith in humanity. There's the pilot with boundary issues, the one who wanted photos for "memories," and encounters so outrageous they've become legendary among her friends.
This isn't another self-help guide promising to fix your love life. This is the unfiltered truth about what dating has become, told by someone who's been in the trenches since before smartphones existed.
If you've if you're attracting the wrong typeHad a perfect date turn bizarre without warningFelt like giving up on romance entirelyQuestioned whether normal people still existThis book will make you feel less alone.
Funny, shocking, and surprisingly empowering, "Don't Need a Sausage" is the memoir that says what we're all thinking. You'll laugh until you cry, cringe in recognition, and feel infinitely better about your own romantic disasters.
Perfect for fans of candid memoirs and anyone who's ever questioned their dating choices.
Contains explicit content and may cause you to delete your dating apps.
Twenty-four years of online dating. One woman's brutally honest confession.
What happens when you spend over two decades searching for love and find everything except what you're looking for?
You get the most raw, hilarious, and painfully relatable memoir about modern romance that readers are calling "my dating life in a book."
From the man who brought three expensive perfumes and five years of lies, to the Portuguese charmer with a hidden agenda, Hilda Sky has survived dating disasters that would make anyone lose faith in humanity. There's the pilot with boundary issues, the one who wanted photos for "memories," and encounters so outrageous they've become legendary among her friends.
This isn't another self-help guide promising to fix your love life. This is the unfiltered truth about what dating has become, told by someone who's been in the trenches since before smartphones existed.
If you've if you're attracting the wrong typeHad a perfect date turn bizarre without warningFelt like giving up on romance entirelyQuestioned whether normal people still existThis book will make you feel less alone.
Funny, shocking, and surprisingly empowering, "Don't Need a Sausage" is the memoir that says what we're all thinking. You'll laugh until you cry, cringe in recognition, and feel infinitely better about your own romantic disasters.
Perfect for fans of candid memoirs and anyone who's ever questioned their dating choices.
Contains explicit content and may cause you to delete your dating apps.
122 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 29, 2025
34 people are currently reading
10 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
February 11, 2026
Entertaining!
This is truly a guide to how not to date! Even though I felt a little sorry for the Author, it was still amusing. This story sums up the reason I've never tried online dating, because what you see online is rarely what you really get in person!
This is truly a guide to how not to date! Even though I felt a little sorry for the Author, it was still amusing. This story sums up the reason I've never tried online dating, because what you see online is rarely what you really get in person!
January 13, 2026
Sad but not without humor.
Fairly well written, describing unfortunate encounters, and sad. It was free but it might be bought if sold in the $1 to $3 range.
Fairly well written, describing unfortunate encounters, and sad. It was free but it might be bought if sold in the $1 to $3 range.
January 13, 2026
Cyber dating?
I’m surprised that she’s still alive after dating so many unbalanced men, but I must admit I laughed … a lot.
I’m surprised that she’s still alive after dating so many unbalanced men, but I must admit I laughed … a lot.
January 16, 2026
Quick little short read about dating horror stories. Did make me laugh & definitely made me happy I don’t have to ever date again.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews