Our Diaries, Ourselves: How Diarists Chronicle Their Lives and Document Our World

by Betsy Rubiner

A spirited exploration of the diary, from pen-and-paper to TikTok, for the people who write—and read—them

Featuring iconic diary keepers like Audre Lorde, Virginia Woolf, Alison Bechdel, and Taylor Swift

We know what it was like to be an out lesbian in 19th-century England, what the inner world of a young girl in hiding looks like, and what the earliest internet users’ favorite websites were, in part, because of diaries. Our Diaries, Ourselves is a joyful deep dive into this time-honored tradition of preserving who we are.

From Marie Curie to Taylor Swift, this book illustrates how keeping a diary helps us to understand ourselves and our world. Tour Italy’s “City of the Diary,” Pieve Santo Stefano, which boasts a diary archive, museum, and annual festival. Discover how women have used diaries for centuries as canvases for self-expression and self-care and as tools of resistance in a patriarchal society. Travel through time and across cultures, from renowned figures to ordinary people, for glimpses of their lives—different yet comfortingly familiar.

Our Diaries, Ourselves is a treasure trove of social history, feminist rebellion, and personal reflection. This book celebrates the vibrant and varied ways we live our lives and the stories we choose to tell about them. And it reminds us of a uniquely human need that transcends time, language, and to see and be seen, remember and be remembered.

Genres: Nonfiction, Writing, Journal, History, Memoir

Audible Audio

First published February 24, 2026

Reviews

[Theresa C · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an interesting exploration of why we write diaries, why we read other people's diaries, and the complexities of deciding what to do with diaries after death (not to mention an incredibly practical guide/set of considerations for diary donation). What I loved was the mix of extensive (and I mean EXTENSIVE) research paired with the right amount of the author's personal experiences. It felt like taking a college course with an incredibly interesting professor who understands how to balance logos, ethos, and pathos in their lectures so that we feel not just informed but connected to the content. I'm not in a book club, but this would make for such a great pick because I feel like everyone has a point of view on this topic, even people like me who have been hesitant to keep a diary (though I'm tempted to try now that I've read this book).

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Zippy, fun, and loaded with interesting facts about our collective compulsion to document our lives. Loved the combination of pop culture touch points and scientific underpinnings discussing memory, perception and how other generations understand the past. All around excellent read!

[Susan Freinkel · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has kept a diary off and on most of my life, I was excited to read this deep dive into what Rubiner calls Diary-Land. She's a charming and insightful guide, exploring why we feel the urge to write things down and what it means at a broader cultural level.
What makes the book especially appealing is its mix of curiosity and affection for a subject that has gotten surprisingly little attention. Rubiner treats diaries not just as private musings, but as meaningful records of everyday life—full of uncertainty, emotion, and small moments that might otherwise be forgotten. I also really appreciated how she highlighted the ways diary-writing has long given people, especially women, a space to think freely and claim their own voice. And I loved the excerpts from her own life's chronicles!

[Lottie C · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐️

I love journaling as a self care practise, so very much enjoyed this one

[Sofia · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating, sincere exploration of the important place the diary has in our personal lives and its role as a key to the past.