Body Language For Dummies

For Dummies

by Elizabeth Kuhnke

If you are puzzled by other people or want to improve the impression you give, knowing about body language could be the key. In this book you'll discover how the body reveals what people really mean and how you can use your body and your expressions to improve your self-image to others. It explores why we give the signals we do, how to read the most common expressions and goes on to show how you can use your new understanding of body language for success at work, in relationships and in your communication. Actions really do speak louder than words!

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Communication, Reference, Ebooks, Language

309 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2007

Reviews

[Kater Cheek · Rating 1 out of 5]

When they say this book is "for Dummies," they aren't kidding. Too bad my city library didn't have the "Body Language for people who already know the obvious stuff and want advice from experts." I wanted to read this book because I thought it might be better than "The Yes Factor." It's more on-topic, but it's not better.

I'd recommend this book for autistic people who are completely and utterly clueless about social interaction. Everyone else is going to find it obvious and trite. I was hoping that by reading about body language, I would think about other people's body language by using words, and it would help me write better beats for the characters in my novels. The only thing new I learned from this book was to sit at a 45 degree angle from someone if you want the conversation to be more open. I do that, but I've never written about a character doing that, so I guess I could say I learned that from this book.

One of the things I liked the least about this novel was the heavy Freudianism. Sucking on a pen is like sucking on a nipple for comfort. Putting your fingernails in your mouth is like sucking on your mother's breast. Chewing on the glasses of your earpiece is like sucking on a breast. And this passage, which I found ludicrous:

"A woman holds her cigarette higher in the air with her wrist bent back, displaying the soft skin. Her body is open, accentuating her chest. In this provocative position, the cigarette takes on the appearance of a small phallus that the woman slips between her lips and seductively sucks.
"When men smoke, they hold their wrists straight, pointing upwards like an erect phallus...."

Yeah, and you know what? Sometimes a cigarette is just a cigarette.

In addition to being Freudian, it was also tinged with that sexist evolutionary biology crap I'm getting so tired of. Men stand with their hands at their side to show power and aggression. Women stand with their hands at their sides to show submissiveness, and therefore attractiveness. It's as if the author is promoting the idea that everyone is secretly into hetero BDSM in their free time.

After a while I got tired of lines such as this: "When a woman demonstrates submissiveness by widening her eyes no man in her immediate vicinity stands a chance. His brain releases hormones stimulating his desire to protect and defend her." Send for my chaise. I have the vapours.

There were enough statements that rang false in this book that I started to doubt the authenticity of everything else, eg. "The inside of the woman's wrist is the most erogenous place on the body." The inside of the wrist? Really? The WRIST? Um, for most women, I'd say it's not even in the top five, and most of those five are not displayed while wearing business attire. "The more subordinate a person feels, the lower he positions his body. When a student or employee enters your office and you sit while he stands, you're demonstrating your power." WTF? Poor copyediting, at the very least.

The author flips "she" or "he" for the indeterminate gendered third person pronoun (what's wrong with using 'they?' Is that something only Americans do? I strongly prefer it.) She also has numerous anecdotes to demonstrate the point. They weren't as horrid as some I've read, but they weren't great either. The book repeats information unnecessarily. I read thrice in one chapter that westerners prefer people to be on time. To whom is this news? Okay, Dummies, I suppose.

I read the side info boxes (I usually love those) and none of them had information that I hadn't read at least ten times elsewhere. It also, as with most books of this type, the advice skews heavily towards people who need to bullshit others--salespeople and daters. Only heterosexual daters, mind you, and then only submissive women who want aggressive men, and aggressive men who want submissive women. Maybe it can give you a few pointers to find the right spear-thrower to provide mammoth meat for you while you whelp babies back in the cave.

[Forough · Rating 3 out of 5]

اگه فكر ميكنيد در مورد آدمهاي اطرافطون اشتباه ميكنيد ،يا نميتونيد نيت اصلي آدمهارو متوجه بشيد اين كتاب واقعا نكات خيلي جالبي تو افشاي ريز ترين حركات غيرارادي آدمها تو رو كردن دستشون داره

[Dennis Morrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a useful, introductory book that will confirm the observations of someone already interested in body language. Several times I found myself better understanding gut reactions I have had in the past and have plans to use this book’s information in the future. I also plan to read other titles on the subject to get more in-depth information.

Beware some grammatical troubles and a few spelling issues that may leave you shaking your head.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helps build awareness of how body language communicates when words dont

[Shannon · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not enough pictures, too many "anecnoteds" from the author that weren't really relevent

[Abdullah Almuslem · Rating 3 out of 5]

As in the title: it is for dummies

[Mike Morgenstein · Rating 3 out of 5]

The positives:

- The text was partitioned well
- There's a lot of good advice

The negatives:

- The gender of the author was salient as far as the writing goes
- Very simplistic at times
- Overwhelming amount of in-text references

The text was partitioned into parts and chapters. There were three parts that consisted of the upper body, lower body, and a unison of both that focused more on context. The chapters got a little bit more specific, for example, the one with the eyes and the one with the body language stood out to me. The good job the author did in classifying the separated content makes this text valuable as a referenceable guide. And if we just consider this book useful for referencing purposes only, then it would certainly negate my objection of there being an overwhelming amount of in-text references. What I exactly mean by "in-text references" is when the author puts at the end of a given paragraph: "You can find out more about (insert topic) in (insert requisite 'For Dummies' book)". I understand that the Dummies book usually do this, and for good reason because it can definitely be useful if you want to delve into another related topic and it may be the reason why I came across this book in the first place. But, to be honest it was way too much this time. It was irritating how many times i've came across it reading this text from start to finish. I believe the Dummies book's are made to be used as reference guides as well, but are definitely not limited to being just one and the writing is geared to start-to-finish type reading. As far as the content goes, well, it goes both ways. There is certainly a lot of interesting things I've learned and they are definitely prescriptive to getting a better grip in the social sphere. Nevertheless, many descriptions in the text are just plain commonsense and so intuitive for the average person. In reality they are probably more suitable for someone like Elizabeth Fritzl and her children or for those that suffer from Autism. The author, Elizabeth Kuhnke, should have a better idea of who her audience is and weed out the simplistic fluff for the next edition. Also, although this probably isn't true, much of the good (less obvious) advice gives the impression that it comes from the author's intuition. This probably isn't the case, but it would have been better if backed by scientific evidence (and by this i mean stated as so, with references). Also, another criticism I have of the book is that it's written from the woman's perspective. This is by no means a knock at the gender of the author, but what I am saying is that she made much of the writing less general and clear that it comes from the perspective of women. As a man, this is a good thing especially when it comes to the showing interest and dating section, but not a good thing from an objective and reviewer-oriented perspective. It may be more strenuous, because the different genders perceive things differently, but there can be some solutions: write two separate for dummies books geared for each gender with a shared general part, make one that only encompasses information that can be shared by both genders, or co-author the next one in a co-ed way and figure it out from there. In the end of the day, despite my reservations, this text is useful and I will probably reference back to it for certain things but it definitely has its limitations in many ways.

[Colton 🔅 · Rating 2 out of 5]

The continuous use of him/her pronouns as opposed to a gender neutral one became more and more irritating the more I read through the book. It also appears to have confused the writer in some instances, such as this one: “If you see someone under pressure and being scrutinised, look to see what her hands are doing. If she’s gently rubbing her stomach, you may assume that she’s feeling the pressure and is calming and comforting himself, the way you comfort a baby or sick child.”

[Sudipta Roy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have finished it in 2020. I started reading it again in the last December. This is a book that I highly valued. When I read it for the first time, I remember saying to myself, I wish I knew this stuffs before! Yet again, if I knew what I learned, I wouldn’t valuate it highly. It’s hard to remember and notice all those stuffs.

[Floduardo de Almeida · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most of the things that this book speaks are basic but good reminders!! I would say that there’s some aspects that you probably don’t know, and so you can get good tips too.

In short: this is a book that introduces you to the body language’s subjects/aspects.

[Ricardo Dias · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a good book. Somewhat complete and well organizes.
However, there are alternative books that can be more practical than this.
Still, it a must-have book in the shelve, if you like body language.

[Nazim Süleymanov · Rating 3 out of 5]

I usually read for dummies series for learning other languages, because it’s language are okay and useful vocabulary. If you have same idea, they I would recommend, otherwise it will tell something that even 10 years old kids know

[MK · Rating 3 out of 5]

As with all books in the Dummies series, there is a lot of text, but I think it would be easier to understand, especially in this book, if images and illustrations of the Body Language were inserted.

[Kevin Pora · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wouldn't recommend this read.

[Dina Falah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I just didn’t feel like to have me any new info.

[David Montes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Conocimientos básicos del lenguaje no verbal, considero que las imágenes pueden ser mejor ilustradas

[Farshad Bahramian · Rating 2 out of 5]

تو یوتوب سرچ کنی بهتره!

[Rachael Miller · Rating 1 out of 5]

When I picked this up, I knew it would either be surprisingly interesting or incredibly funny. I laughed a lot. Unhelpful at best and utterly unhinged at worst.

[Álex · Rating 1 out of 5]

Estoy de acuerdo con algunas de las valoraciones leídas por aquí. Cierto es que el título del libro especifica que es lenguaje no verbal para dummies, pero quizá es para demasiado dummies. Entiendo que si una persona te da la espalda con los brazos cruzados y cara de enfado, es porque está enfadada... Pensaba que quizá me serviría para aprender un poco sobre el lenguaje escondido que no todos vemos y menos sabemos interpretar, pero se me ha quedado bastante corto y monótono.

[EstelleLiterature · Rating 5 out of 5]

An easy to understand and useful book on how to interpret other bodies--and your own!

[James]

This author is hard to take seriously when they perpetuate the myth that the okay 👌 gesture is used as a "symbol of hatred". It's not, fact check next time.
Same thing with sugar making kids hyper, nope, it doesn't, that's also a myth. Check yoself.

[Tristan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading 52 challenge no. 14 asked of me to read a non-fiction book and so I selected this book, and well it's done now, and I feel wiser for it, but also looking at the book on my shelf gives me a headache.

The book is helpful for finding out extremely helpful information that can be used in all manners of life, from romance, global business deals, spotting the liars, and knowing when someone is holding something back. It covers a wide variety of topics and even provides numerous examples of these situations and scenarios may play out and what can be done in them. This would be an excellent starting point for anyone who wish to start studying this topic, or even for those who already have a baseline to start from and simply wish to add to their repertoire. It contains a good mi of both facts about the body and what it does, but also inserts of historical research that all help to reinforce the learning and the faith in the information we read.

The book is very well laid out, making it easy to digest he information which at face value may intimated someone out of learning this externally interesting information. here are several different sections and he book has a helpful key in helping us understanding hem all. The chapters are well thought out and cover alot of ground within them, with each chapter seeming to extended endlessly (in a good way) with more and more information to learn and surprise us.

The writing is relaxed and easy to take in, making the information easier to manage as it comes across as the written words of a friendly chat between friends. However, this style does begin to tire after some time and it can become boring, leaving want for a more professional wording and not so many jokes and (lines written like that provide an in-joke). I understand that as this is a '...for Dummies' book that such books are not drowned in jargon and mumbo-jumbo we mere mortals could never understand, but perhaps the occasional paragraph and proper scientific information told in an formal manner would help to keep focus and make the reader sit up straight once and while rather than the laid back style the writing encourages.

The book, sadly, does repeat itself over several times, in most cases only a few paragraphs after the original information was stated. his can be a benefit if you are the type of person who would revise this book over and over again to get the most of it then this would be of great benefit. However, for readers like myself, who tire easily of repetition then it can begin to wear you down and make the reading a chore to get through than a brisk and interesting indulgence into the workings of the body and mind.

[Serith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the perfect hand guide for a writer. Sure, there are many applications for the content –like how to rock at an interview, to determine if someone is romantically interested in you, turn you into a human lie detector, and so on– but the reason I love it is because I want my characters to say so much more than what comes out of their mouth (the rest is just a bonus). It gives you reference and tools to apply the “show, don’t tell” approach.

At first this may seem like a no-brainer to many while others are skeptical to the science behind it, but there are so many indicators we are blind to that still affect us. Not only does it give detailed samples for simple and complex emotion, but it explains why we do the things we do. As humans, we crutch so strongly to the spoken word. This is the basic foundation of communication and it seems silly to write it off as nonsense. A quick example: everyone knows that the word fine can mean so much more than confirmation. It’s up to this forgotten language to elaborate the intent.

Plus this book is just plain fun to read. I sat through the entire thing, soaking it all up. It was great. And I consistently refer to it so I can nail each scene. Highly recommended to anyone who wants to become fluently bilingual to a universal language.

[Semiophrenic · Rating 1 out of 5]

After reading several books on body language some things start to repeat. This should be normal, except that the order in which things are discussed and even some phrasings are as if merely copy-pasted from other older books. This is essentially Pease's "The Definitive Book of Body Language" with some personal anecdotes by Kuhnke. The only added value is that proxemic distances are presented in both inches and centimeters, and from chapter to chapter the author alternates between "he" and "she." This last bit gets a bit awkward when she states that "The ancient Chinese gem traders were expert in watching their buyers eyes when negotiating prices. If the pupils dilated, the trader knew SHE was offering too good a deal and had to negotiate harder." It is doubtful if the ancient chinese gem traders were female, but then again the first part of the sentence is a copy-paste from Pease and his original sentence was followed by a remark about prostitutes and belladonna, so it may be merely a "linguistic interference," an "accident" performed when Kuhnke copy-pasted Pease instead af actually doing any research.

[Acquafortis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book quite interesting. Full of interesting facts and written in simple down to earth, easily comprehensible language.
What I would have liked is more photos to illustrate the non verbal body language the author was actually referring to.
I found very helpful the chapter on the different usage of body language in various cultures.
As an immigrant living in a foreign country I have encountered many a times difficulties in understanding or making me understood by non verbal body language. I haven't caused diplomatic crises but definitely communication could have flowed smoother both in work and social environment if I had known about certain cultural differences.
A great book to start with.

[Rhonda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This covers the basics in an easy to read format, as expected from the fourth edition of a Dummies title. I can't say I learned anything new, just reinforced existing awareness, but there are plenty of people who may not be aware of how their behaviour is perceived or how to react to others.

Some of the examples were worded a little strangely, and it would have benefitted from an inclusion and diversity edit. Black text on dark grey boxes is not the most legible. Some text had been updated from previous versions (like King Charles and his pen), but not the Countess of Wessex to Duchess of Edinburgh.

[Tiago · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another one of these for dummies books, heh? :)

I reviewed a few other books here that I consider superior, but this book is definetly a good rehash of what all the others say. Not really much soul and heart in it, though, sadly.

[Saoirse · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you want to decode that gesture, stance or facial expression, this is the book for you. Like all Dummies books, Body Language is neatly laid out and well-organized. And it is injected with the requisit amount of humour to keep thing interesting.

Not that body language isn't interesting enough!

[Stucescj · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book provides a solid simple understanding of body language, providing tips and pointers on how to improve one's body language as well as understanding another's body language. I'd recommend this as a good start for beginners on the subject of body language before looking into more detailed studies.

[Zezee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I gave this book 3 stars because it does have some good points and advices in there but it is very repetitive. I don't think it was edited well. Some sentences were a bit confusing. But what really annoyed me was how repetitive it was.