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Communicating with Kids
Confused by all the conflicting parenting advice you hear? Not sure who is right or what to do? Well, relax and read this book.
Ever wondered why your child gets more upset the nicer you are? Or why your child is always arguing with you, doesn’t listen or seems intent on doing the opposite of what you want? Now you no longer have to worry – Communicating with Kids has the answers.
This new book explains how so often children are not resisting our messages but the way we are sending them. It demonstrates why some of the ways we communicate lead to exactly the opposite of the behaviour we want, and provides methods to tweak your language and approach so that children are willing to help you. So much of the parenting advice we hear works against a child’s developing brain, so this book shows you how to work with it instead – which makes all the difference.
Once you understand the difference between what you are saying and what your child actually hears, life with children becomes so much easier. This book is all about communication because apart from that, there’s no other advice you need; the best way to bring up your child is to be yourself and do it your way.
Communicating with Kids is a book guaranteed to help all parents, whether they veer towards the methods of Penelope Leach or Supernanny, or have never read a parenting book before. It is not based on any parenting ideology, but on genuine experience with a wide range of children. It is a plain-talking book that presents communication methods that work, so parents gain the confidence to be themselves.
Ever wondered why your child gets more upset the nicer you are? Or why your child is always arguing with you, doesn’t listen or seems intent on doing the opposite of what you want? Now you no longer have to worry – Communicating with Kids has the answers.
This new book explains how so often children are not resisting our messages but the way we are sending them. It demonstrates why some of the ways we communicate lead to exactly the opposite of the behaviour we want, and provides methods to tweak your language and approach so that children are willing to help you. So much of the parenting advice we hear works against a child’s developing brain, so this book shows you how to work with it instead – which makes all the difference.
Once you understand the difference between what you are saying and what your child actually hears, life with children becomes so much easier. This book is all about communication because apart from that, there’s no other advice you need; the best way to bring up your child is to be yourself and do it your way.
Communicating with Kids is a book guaranteed to help all parents, whether they veer towards the methods of Penelope Leach or Supernanny, or have never read a parenting book before. It is not based on any parenting ideology, but on genuine experience with a wide range of children. It is a plain-talking book that presents communication methods that work, so parents gain the confidence to be themselves.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
208 pages, Paperback
First published December 9, 2014
20 people are currently reading
129 people want to read
About the author
Stephanie Davies-Arai
2 books13 followersStephanie Davies-Arai is a mother of four and a founding member of a small independent primary school in East Sussex. Originally trained as a Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) instructor, she designed the ‘Communicating with Kids’ programme in 2008. Stephanie trains both teachers and parents, and has worked extensively with children in schools.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
March 2, 2015
This is an extremely useful book for both parents and teachers! I have read dozens of parenting books, and this one has jumped to the top of my list of favorites. Communicating with Kids is not so much a parenting how-to; instead, this book explains in very easy-to-read and encouraging terms the best ways to communicate with kids and young people. If we, as grown-ups, can communicate honestly, calmly, and rationally, kids will be more willing to listen. The author explains that there are two main parenting styles today: Camp A is all about rules, regulations, and punishment. Camp B is focused on the child's needs and sometimes relies too heavily on active listening. Neither of these extremes is the healthiest for families because they are both extremely child-centered. The overall message of Communicating with Kids is to shift the focus away from the child and refocus on the family unit as a whole. Throughout the book, the author explains how to manage our own feelings and let our kids learn to manage their own. There are specific examples for tricky situations, and there are also general recommendations that will help life with kids run more smoothly.
I ordered two copies for our school library and recommended it to our psychology and child development teachers. A winning resource for anyone who works with children and young people!
Two suggestions for a future edition: A possible alignment of the bibliography with chapter titles would be helpful (instead of just presenting a general reading list). Also, an index listing which pages are focused on teens as opposed to toddlers would be useful for time-strapped teachers of different grade-levels.
I ordered two copies for our school library and recommended it to our psychology and child development teachers. A winning resource for anyone who works with children and young people!
Two suggestions for a future edition: A possible alignment of the bibliography with chapter titles would be helpful (instead of just presenting a general reading list). Also, an index listing which pages are focused on teens as opposed to toddlers would be useful for time-strapped teachers of different grade-levels.
February 4, 2015
I got an advance copy of this from netgalley. There were a couple of reasons for the low score.
The first reason was the lack of footnotes and backup of assertions made. Various assertions were presented as fact, without any pointers to any research which could be investigated further. There is a bibliography at the back, but without knowing which parts of the book are taken from, it's not terribly useful.
The next reason was that there was little to no discussion on how the developing brain of the child might influence communication and how different approaches might be better for different ages. There are significant differences between how a toddler see the world for example (self-centered, unable to comprehend logical conservation etc) and a ten year old, and obviously you are going to be interacting with them differently.
Much of the analysis in the book is based on the authors communication studies (they run communication seminars). Presumably though, this is with adults, communicating with adults, which may not be actually applicable to children.
There were a few other minor issue, the pronoun used to refer to the child changed midway through chapters which was annoying, and the images used were terrible (although they could just have been netgalley placeholder images).
I felt the most useful parts of the book were the chapters which addressed word choice and how the child would perceive these. It's useful to be reminded to think about this from time to time and be aware that the perspective of the child is likely to be different to our own. Still though, it would have been nice to see some research backing this up, rather than taking the author's word for it.
The first reason was the lack of footnotes and backup of assertions made. Various assertions were presented as fact, without any pointers to any research which could be investigated further. There is a bibliography at the back, but without knowing which parts of the book are taken from, it's not terribly useful.
The next reason was that there was little to no discussion on how the developing brain of the child might influence communication and how different approaches might be better for different ages. There are significant differences between how a toddler see the world for example (self-centered, unable to comprehend logical conservation etc) and a ten year old, and obviously you are going to be interacting with them differently.
Much of the analysis in the book is based on the authors communication studies (they run communication seminars). Presumably though, this is with adults, communicating with adults, which may not be actually applicable to children.
There were a few other minor issue, the pronoun used to refer to the child changed midway through chapters which was annoying, and the images used were terrible (although they could just have been netgalley placeholder images).
I felt the most useful parts of the book were the chapters which addressed word choice and how the child would perceive these. It's useful to be reminded to think about this from time to time and be aware that the perspective of the child is likely to be different to our own. Still though, it would have been nice to see some research backing this up, rather than taking the author's word for it.
February 22, 2015
Lots of great ideas. Has already helped me get through to the kids. Lots of tips, tricks and techniques supported by anecdotes which show that Stephanie's been there, seen it, done it! Particularly helped get through to my son who can be a bit tricky at times.
Now to get the husband to read it (a much bigger challenge!!)
My thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for a free advance copy in exchange for a fair review.
Now to get the husband to read it (a much bigger challenge!!)
My thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for a free advance copy in exchange for a fair review.
February 14, 2015
The evidence base for this seems to be minimal but most of it makes an awful lot of sense.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews