Even the Good Girls Will Cry: A '90s Rock Memoir

by Melissa Auf der Maur

Thanks to a thrown beer bottle and a fan letter to a P.O. box, Melissa Auf der Maur's first band scored an opening slot for the Smashing Pumpkins in her bohemian home town, Montreal. Sensing Melissa's talent, Billy Corgan recommended her to Courtney Love. Whisked from her local scene, Melissa joined Hole just after the deaths of Kurt Cobain and Hole's prior bassist, Kristen Pfaff, with the just-widowed Courtney Love at the centre of it all.

That was only the beginning of Melissa's journey through alternative rock, a trip she undertook alongside 90s luminaries including Rufus Wainwright, Michael Stipe and her former boyfriend, Dave Grohl. Even the Good Girls Will Cry is a vivid dispatch from the last analogue decade, capturing that bygone era in all its messy, angsty glory.

Genres: Music, Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir

432 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication March 17, 2026

About the author

Melissa Auf der Maur is a Canadian musician, singer-songwriter and photographer. Born and raised in Montréal, Auf der Maur formed Tinker in 1993 and later was recruited as the bassist for the American alternative rock band Hole in 1994. Following her departure from Hole, Auf der Maur joined The Smashing Pumpkins in 2000 and later began a solo career. Her debut studio album, Auf der Maur, was released in 2004 and her second studio album, Out of Our Minds, was released in 2010.

Reviews

[Tanya]

This is my Roman Empire.

[Sommer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even the Good Girls Will Cry is the kind of memoir that pulls you straight back into the raw, electric pulse of the 90s. Melissa Auf der Maur writes with the heart of an artist and the memory of someone who lived inside that chaotic, beautiful decade.
What makes this book unforgettable is how human it feels. Melissa captures the messy friendships, the heartbreaks, the backstage moments, and the sense of being young in a world that felt dangerous and full of possibility. With never-before-seen photos and vivid storytelling, this memoir feels like flipping through an old, beloved scrapbook you forgot you still had. A powerful, emotional journey through the last analog era of rock.

[Melissa Levis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Referring to Melissa Auf Der Maur as xMADMx in this review, because I always loved that stylization!

When I saw the ARC available for this I don’t think I’ve ever hit “request” so fast. I’m not a huge memoir/non-fiction reader but if xMADMx was putting out a book, I was 100% reading it. The marketing/descriptions are pretty spot on - a love letter to a beautiful chapter in music history.

I came of age in the 90s. 90s alt-rock was the soundtrack to my formative years. I was a teenage musician myself, playing the cello, bass and guitar. Naturally, xMADMx was a musician I watched and admired.

I was also a Smashing Pumpkins super fan, I suppose I still am to a degree.When D’arcy departed the Pumpkins I felt like there was a void, but finding out xMADMx was going on tour with them really felt right.

I thought xMADMx did a great job telling HER story, as she worked alongside some really big personalities. She always kept it from her perspective and it was obvious she was making a point not to tell the stories of others.

Of course I enjoyed the Billy Corgan and Pumpkin-centric parts a bunch, I learned a couple things. But reading about xMADMx’s early years and her upbringing in Montreal was very interesting. The experiences she had there as a young adult were fun to read about. What xMADMx helped to do for women in music is extraordinary and the world is a better and richer place with her art in it.

I really appreciate that this book hit square into a niche of rock history I love, appreciate and even got to live a little. I saw xMADMx play with the pumpkins quite a few times.

The way xMADMx wrote about love and loss regarding her Dad was very well done, too. I can imagine writing about his passing was both therapeutic and heart wrenching - I know the feeling. I feel like any Dad would be proud of the way she tackled it.

Any 90s alt kids out there who liked Hole and/or Smashing Pumpkins, and a number of bands in that circle will enjoy this one. Its nostalgia isn’t overbearing or cheesy. It made me truly miss and highly appreciate what I was fortunate enough to live a little.

Thanks to Netgalley, xMADMx and Grand Central Publishing for the early eCopy.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really interesting look at Melissa Auf der Maur's career and the 90's grunge scene. As a 90's kid, this was a really cool background look into the music of a period of time that has a really strong hold on my heart.

Thank you Netgalley and Grand Central Publishing | Da Capo for the ARC!