Try Not to Die: By Your Own Hand: An Adult Interactive Adventure

by Renee S. DeCamillis, Mark Tullius (Editor), Andrew Najberg (Editor)

"By Your Own Hand is a harrowing, disturbing, honest, deep-dive into all-too-real horrors ably demonstrating that the right choice isn't always so easy to make. Renee DeCamillis pulls no punches and writes with integrity and a survivor's hope and heart." ~ Paul Tremblay, NYT bestselling author of Horror Movie and Cabin at the End of the World

When you're your own worst enemy, survival is the hardest choice of all.At 37, she thought she’d be stronger. But years of trauma, addiction, and self-doubt have left her broken. Every decision she makes could be her last—and you're the one making them.

In this raw and emotionally charged entry in the Try Not to Die series, you're in control of her fate. With six harrowing paths to darkness, only one leads to survival—and it demands brutal honesty, inner strength, and the will to keep going.

This isn't horror for entertainment.
This is horror born of real pain.

It’s not just a book. It’s a fight for survival.

✅ Includes both the full interactive version
✅ And a Survivor Mode (non-interactive) for readers who prefer a linear experience

⚠️ CONTENT
This book contains disturbing themes and graphic content,

Sexual assault

Substance abuse

Alcohol abuse

Self-harm

Reader discretion strongly advised. For mature audiences only.

"A beautiful, powerful, un-put-downable novel that dives deep into music, despair, literature, abuse, love, and — above all — hope.  Read it, share it, read it again.  You won’t be sorry.  It just might save your life, or someone else’s."
~ Elizabeth Hand, author of Generation Loss and A Haunting on the Hill

296 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 10, 2025

About the author

Renee S. DeCamillis is a horror author and editor, and the author of the psychological thriller/supernatural horror/bizarro novella The Bone Cutters. She is a member of the Horror Writers Association, the New England Horror Writers, and the Horror Writers of Maine. Renee is the singer/songwriter and rhythm guitarist for the punk-metal band Scars Aligned. She's also a tree-hugging hippie with a sharp metal edge. And she has a comic book forthcoming.

Her next book, Chisel the Bone, will be published on July 23, 2024, through Encyclopocalypse Publications. It is the sequel to The Bone Cutters.

Renee’s short fiction appears in: Dethfest Confession: The Devil’s Playlist; Horrors of the Deep: Starling Sea Stories; After the Burn, a post-apocalyptic shared-world anthology; the Wicked Women anthology from NEHW Press; Northern Frights, The Journal of Horror Writers of Maine 2.5—Mud Season 2021, lost; Deadman’s Tome: The Conspiracy Issue; Siren’s Call eZine Issue 37 the 6th Annual Women In Horror Month Edition; The Other Stories Podcast. Her poetry appears in The Horror Writers Association Poetry Showcase Volume IV.

Renee earned her BA in psychology from the University of Southern Maine, and her MFA in Popular Fiction Writing from the Stonecoast Graduate Program. She attended Berklee College of Music as a music business major with guitar as her principal instrument. Renee is a former model, school rock band teacher, creative writing teacher, private guitar instructor, A&R rep for an indie record label, therapeutic mentor, psychological technician, and preschool teacher. She is also a former gravedigger; she can get rid of a body fast without leaving a trace and is not afraid of getting her hands dirty. Renee lives in the woods of Maine with her husband, their son, and a house full of ghosts.


Visit her online: reneesdecamillis.com , facebook: Renee S. DeCamillis Author , Instagram: @renee_s._decamillis , Twitter: @ReneeDeCamillis

Reviews

[Jacek · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the most realistic entry in the Try Not to Die series, and it is very well written. Although I managed to get the ending where you survive on my first attempt, it felt difficult to do so, as the choices that you had to make required a lot of willpower and in one instance, vulnerability. I also appreciated how many of the bad endings offered additional perspective on the other characters, and some of them were darker than I would have expected. I also appreciated how grounded the good ending was in its outlook.

[Stefanie Silvestri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Make sure to check trigger warnings. What makes this book unique compared to the others in the Try Not to Die series is that it actually wants you to survive, rather than making poor choices in hopes of a gruesome death. I also noticed that there were not as many options to choose from as there were in other books. Nonetheless, I had a blast reading this book and attempting to stay alive. It was an easy and captivating read that kept me engaged throughout.

[Trisha Tropiano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Try Not to Die: By Your Own Hand is appropriately released for World Suicide Prevention Day, and this book is special because proceeds go to charity supporting suicide prevention.

This is the one TNTD we want to see you live through! It follows Dahlia as she battles that inner voice to try to make the best choices possible in sometimes extremely dire situations. Renee did a great job in writing Dahlia’s character and her struggles. I often found her intrusive thoughts all too relatable, so this is a very emotional read for anyone who struggles with mental health. It’s a great reminder that you really never know what’s going on in someone’s life. Highly recommend checking out this special addition to the Try Not to Die series!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

*4.5 stars*

Dahlia has had a rough life full of past and current traumas. She's trying to find her way in life, but for the past 37 years, nothing has paid off. She enjoys her current part time job, but it doesn't pay the bills. She hasn't heard back from any publishers about her manuscripts. Her sister (aka Satan) is a hateful nightmare and apparently her full time job is making Dahlia's life a living hell. And after leaving her ex-husband after he said he actually doesn't want children, she got involved with one of her band mates, but more and more red flags start popping up. Can she make her way through without ending it all?

This was the first TNTD book that I've read and actually survived throughout the entire thing. Going back to read the different endings was heartbreaking. There are a lot of heavy and scary moments throughout this book - nothing supernatural, but real world scary.

There's a disclaimer at the beginning of the book, one that should certainly be taken to heart if you're struggling with any thoughts of ending your own life. Mark Tullius wanted this to be published today on World Suicide Prevention Day for a reason. If you're struggling, please reach out for help. You're here for a reason.

[Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Try Not to Die: By Your Own Hand follows a young woman named Dahlia, who life really seems to have a grudge against. She's been through abusive relationships, crippling anxiety and depression, school stress, a traumatic past come back to haunt her....you name it. Our task, as the reader, is to help her navigate life and make it through all of the hardships that she's facing.

This book is so different from the usual Try Not to Die in that you aren't actually trying to die in horrifically unfortunate ways. You're trying your best to survive and make the right choices for Dahlia's mental health. It's a really heavy book, but a book that's so important.

TNTD By Your Own Hand is a reminder on two fronts: it's a reminder that we never know what someone is dealing with every day, and a reminder for those of us who are struggling that you are never as alone as you think, that life won't always feel so heavy.

While there weren't as many choices as I'm used to, this made each choice feel far more important and weighted as I was making them.

Thank you to Mark and Renee for putting this book out and to anyone whose headspace is darker than they think they can handle, there's always a light to be found, sometimes in the most unexpected of places.

[Alexandra Nisneru · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is different from the other TNTD book, the purpose of it is actually to try and keep you awake, to help you make good choices instead of purposefully make the wrong choice and find what grim death was prepared for you. The main theme of this story is suicide and how toxic is this idea for both people who think about it and for their loved ones. It's a story of massive impact and if you ever struggled with the toxicity of these thoughts, this book is created for you, to help bring a bit of relief in your life.

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

i really can't say that this book was a good read, but i didn't expect it to be. I read all of the trigger warnings, so I knew it that it was going to be a somewhat difficult read. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, though. It was well-written. The character development was spot on. The story was somewhat depressing, but it had to be to get to the crux of the book

[Crystal DeBoard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one is a little different from the other TNTD. In this one, they want you to survive. I absolutely loved that they did this! The story was great. The decisions were easy (but not always easy to choose what you know you should). LOVED it.

[ScarlettAnomalyReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay I love TNTD and this one was different but I loved it too.

The story itself had me in an absolute death grip, I felt so hard for Dahlia, as I can relate to life just taking swing after swing at me.
But in this TNTD instead of well, trying not to die, you are trying to naviagate the mental health of the MC, make the right choices, just like she would to stay alive or well the alternative.

For me this hit a little harder then than most things I read, because it really highlighted how easy it is to make the wrong choice when you overwhelmed or in the moment, how you don’t know what someone is going through just from the outside surface you see, Dahlia was struggling with every choice and we were too.

This was so heavy in a lot of ways but it was absolutely something I think a lot of people should check out, not just for the writing or the fun format of TNTD but for some understanding and maybe walking in someone else’s shoes for a bit.

Thank you for this.

[Emily Haynes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a totally different Try not To Die you are supposed to make the choices to stay alive. Heart touching thought-provoking read. Full of hard choices, tragedy, and most of all hope.

[Sammi Dyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Try Not to Die: By Your Own Hand is part of the TNTD series by Mark Tullius and is the newest in the ever growing line up of fantastic story lines and amazing authors. This one features Renée S. Decamillis and is uniquely different from the others in the series. It Truly is a real eye opener as to how the simplest of choices we make everyday can have an impact on someone’s mental health. It shows us just how fragile life really is and how quickly suicidal thoughts and the simplest mundane choices matter in the overall scheme of life. You’re not going to find monsters, cult members or ghosts per se in this one. By Your Own Hand is filled with the seriousness and implications that mindless choices made on a daily basis can have unthinkable consequences. So as you guide Dahlia through her life filled with personal demons that haunt her with suicidal thoughts, remember things aren’t always as bleak and hopeless as you might think, and that your choices can change everything.

[Tammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very intense book, a great try not to die book about a girl named Dahlia who's trying to get her life together but keeps meeting the wrong men. She goes through several abusive relationships and isn't sure she can continue living but finds the strength in herself.