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Bad Dyke: Salacious Stories from a Queer Life
Furry-style fox hunts, breaking into waterparks, and masturbating in trees. It’s all just part of the queer life of author Allison Moon.
This collection of 18 sexy, touching memoirs celebrates the humor and tenderness of falling in and out of love and in and out of bed.
"Allison Moon is a queer woman with a bisexual boyfriend or a 'bad dyke'--an identity she’s settled on after stints as a 'greedy bisexual' and a garden-variety lesbian. She chronicles and analyzes this journey in an essay collection that’s heartfelt, thought-provoking, and good, not so clean fun. - Lambda Literary
This collection of 18 sexy, touching memoirs celebrates the humor and tenderness of falling in and out of love and in and out of bed.
"Allison Moon is a queer woman with a bisexual boyfriend or a 'bad dyke'--an identity she’s settled on after stints as a 'greedy bisexual' and a garden-variety lesbian. She chronicles and analyzes this journey in an essay collection that’s heartfelt, thought-provoking, and good, not so clean fun. - Lambda Literary
132 pages, Paperback
First published December 2, 2014
11 people are currently reading
1408 people want to read
About the author
Allison Moon
10 books185 followersAllison is the author of the award winning, critically-acclaimed sex-ed book,Girl Sex 101, Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex, and the sexual memoir, Bad Dyke. As a sex educator, Allison has presented her workshops to thousands of people around the US and Canada. www.GirlSex101.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews
October 6, 2015
This is an X-rated book but not in a bad paperback romance way or some dude's gross sexual memoir way. It reminded me of the way fanfiction authors and/or readers talk about sex. I'm not sure how else to describe it. There's as much or more brain stuff going on than crotch stuff. There's nothing that particular merits a trigger warning except for one essay that includes piercing that comes with a big old warning in the title of the chapter.
I gave this four stars because it made me have some thinky thoughts about gender and sexual identity in a way that I hadn't previously, and it did so in the context of fun, raunchy stories. The conversational tone is the nature of this type of essay collection and won't be everyone's preference. The viewpoint (Moon, like Erica Moen, identifies as a dyke while being in a long-term relationship with a man) is not necessarily in line with the viewpoints of other people who identify as dykes. I'm neutral about the language used by people in Moon and Moen's specific situations but I know it's a sensitive issue.
It's a short read but if I were to pick a handful of essays to suggest flipping through just standing at the bookstore or wherever, they are (in chapter order): Good Dyke, Strange Bedfellows, Bad Dyke, and Seven Year Itch. The one that made me laugh the most was Strange Bedfellows. I'm also astoundingly jealous that Allison Moon got to have sexual interaction with (or at least write and claim to have had sexy times with - I guess that's a possibility) with Nina Hartley and Jiz Lee. Like who gets to live that kind of lesbian werewolf lifestyle.
As for the identity aspect... I have to admit I'm coming to this book as a late-20s bisexual woman who's fairly comfortable identifying as bisexual. I'm aware of being so middle of the road, perfect 3 Kinsey scale bisexual that I lack nuance when it comes to parts of sexual identity discussion. That being said, I am aware that the use of terms like lesbian and dyke, and the tendency of some heterosexual couples to term their fetishes or kinks as 'queer', are not simple things. Calling any non-traditional sex 'queer' turns the term into something only about sexual activity when it is more than that. Women who are only attracted to other women are allowed to have a term or terms that are solely unto themselves. It's really complicated and I'm not the best person to verbalize those details.
At the same time, I relate enormously to Moon being told that she's never quite lesbian enough. I've had family members assure me that feeling attraction to girls is normal for most women, or that it's misplaced admiration, but that it doesn't mean I actually want to be intimate with them. I've had relationships with men so to some degree I am less viable a partner to some lesbians than a woman who's only slept with women, or even a woman who identifies as bisexual but hasn't had sexual contact with a man. In these situations it doesn't seem that 'woman who likes women' is enough of a qualifier to be a lesbian; there's something more to it... like how clearly Moon describes her preference for packing?
Yet for men the set-up of masculinity tends to dictate that even once, even one lingering glance, is defined as 'gay' to the point of violence. Here I have to point out how sensitive and heartbreaking Moon's pondering on her male partner's gender and his context in how she's viewed men is throughout her essays. So many little things - just asking for permission to touch her knee when they first meet - are not that important in the grand scale of human interaction but taken with a cis-gendered white man interacting with a woman they really are earthshattering. It's so disappointing that such behaviour should seem exceptional to Moon or any reader. I don't know if all women feel the same as Moon and I do but I suspect most do. I don't know if many men recognize the nuances in Reid and Allison's interactions but I genuinely hope they do. Their absence in other interactions becomes glaring once you interact with someone of the opposite sex who truly does treat you like an equal.
I gave this four stars because it made me have some thinky thoughts about gender and sexual identity in a way that I hadn't previously, and it did so in the context of fun, raunchy stories. The conversational tone is the nature of this type of essay collection and won't be everyone's preference. The viewpoint (Moon, like Erica Moen, identifies as a dyke while being in a long-term relationship with a man) is not necessarily in line with the viewpoints of other people who identify as dykes. I'm neutral about the language used by people in Moon and Moen's specific situations but I know it's a sensitive issue.
It's a short read but if I were to pick a handful of essays to suggest flipping through just standing at the bookstore or wherever, they are (in chapter order): Good Dyke, Strange Bedfellows, Bad Dyke, and Seven Year Itch. The one that made me laugh the most was Strange Bedfellows. I'm also astoundingly jealous that Allison Moon got to have sexual interaction with (or at least write and claim to have had sexy times with - I guess that's a possibility) with Nina Hartley and Jiz Lee. Like who gets to live that kind of lesbian werewolf lifestyle.
As for the identity aspect... I have to admit I'm coming to this book as a late-20s bisexual woman who's fairly comfortable identifying as bisexual. I'm aware of being so middle of the road, perfect 3 Kinsey scale bisexual that I lack nuance when it comes to parts of sexual identity discussion. That being said, I am aware that the use of terms like lesbian and dyke, and the tendency of some heterosexual couples to term their fetishes or kinks as 'queer', are not simple things. Calling any non-traditional sex 'queer' turns the term into something only about sexual activity when it is more than that. Women who are only attracted to other women are allowed to have a term or terms that are solely unto themselves. It's really complicated and I'm not the best person to verbalize those details.
At the same time, I relate enormously to Moon being told that she's never quite lesbian enough. I've had family members assure me that feeling attraction to girls is normal for most women, or that it's misplaced admiration, but that it doesn't mean I actually want to be intimate with them. I've had relationships with men so to some degree I am less viable a partner to some lesbians than a woman who's only slept with women, or even a woman who identifies as bisexual but hasn't had sexual contact with a man. In these situations it doesn't seem that 'woman who likes women' is enough of a qualifier to be a lesbian; there's something more to it... like how clearly Moon describes her preference for packing?
Yet for men the set-up of masculinity tends to dictate that even once, even one lingering glance, is defined as 'gay' to the point of violence. Here I have to point out how sensitive and heartbreaking Moon's pondering on her male partner's gender and his context in how she's viewed men is throughout her essays. So many little things - just asking for permission to touch her knee when they first meet - are not that important in the grand scale of human interaction but taken with a cis-gendered white man interacting with a woman they really are earthshattering. It's so disappointing that such behaviour should seem exceptional to Moon or any reader. I don't know if all women feel the same as Moon and I do but I suspect most do. I don't know if many men recognize the nuances in Reid and Allison's interactions but I genuinely hope they do. Their absence in other interactions becomes glaring once you interact with someone of the opposite sex who truly does treat you like an equal.
August 26, 2015
This is a terrible book. This is not a book about a lesbian and the social rules navigated to maintain "good and bad" portrayals of roles, but rather, a memoir series of bisexual, irresponsible, self-discovery from a privileged white Midwesterner.
Fucking awful.
Fucking awful.
November 16, 2014
Bad Dyke is a wonderful collection of essays capturing ongoing Moon's sexual awakening. From coming out (more than once!) to her family to all sorts of adventures across the country, she shows not just a willingness to try almost anything, from porn to hosting an orgy to getting pierced to stave off boredom, but also an open-mindedness about her own sex life and others' that's rare. There's a boldness in these stories, not so much because of their raciness, but because Moon is willing to challenge conventions, both mainstream and subculture. Anyone who's ever felt confused about their sexual impulses (and be honest--who hasn't?) will appreciate the way Moon faces her questions, desires and identities, with humor and unsparing honesty. Her willingness to go there delivers on its promise of salaciousness, and is utterly queer through and through, in the best sense of the word.
March 6, 2018
"She ate me out like a Dykes on Bikes benefit picnic" (73)
Best. line. ever
Best. line. ever
January 26, 2017
My first excellent choice was to stop dating men. Moreover, I decided to stop caring about what men thought, full-stop.
read this collection while knocking back vodka and listening to queer girls playlists on 8tracks, so i have say this was a pretty good evening.
this was a quick, light, funny, entertaining read*. with some "salacious" elements, indeed. this collection is pretty much exactly what it sells itself to be. i really enjoyed it! and it really builds in emotional and intellectual aspects without you even realising it, until you finish it and just sit back, book pressed against your chest, exhaling in heavy, yet satisfied contentment. moon's full acceptance of her sexuality and all its nuances felt like an acceptance of myself?
tl;dr this collection really gains ground as it moves forward. the first half of this, i was wondering whether this was a 2 or 3 star book. by the end, its a solid 4 for me.
The more I like a woman, the more she scares me. And the more she scares me, the more I like her.
*just skip that first story if you're a little (super) sensitive to offhanded remarks about how unattractive low self-esteem is. (:
read this collection while knocking back vodka and listening to queer girls playlists on 8tracks, so i have say this was a pretty good evening.
this was a quick, light, funny, entertaining read*. with some "salacious" elements, indeed. this collection is pretty much exactly what it sells itself to be. i really enjoyed it! and it really builds in emotional and intellectual aspects without you even realising it, until you finish it and just sit back, book pressed against your chest, exhaling in heavy, yet satisfied contentment. moon's full acceptance of her sexuality and all its nuances felt like an acceptance of myself?
tl;dr this collection really gains ground as it moves forward. the first half of this, i was wondering whether this was a 2 or 3 star book. by the end, its a solid 4 for me.
The more I like a woman, the more she scares me. And the more she scares me, the more I like her.
*just skip that first story if you're a little (super) sensitive to offhanded remarks about how unattractive low self-esteem is. (:
April 14, 2015
Fantastic rollicking collection of essays and memoir from Allison Moon, who can certainly tell a great story. Lovely touches of humor and an upfront honesty makes this a thoroughly entertaining collection.
September 8, 2016
I used to think I was a writer who took risks, and then I read this book. I recommend for more tame readers to only read a few stories at a time. Reading too many stories at once will make you feel dirty and disgusted with yourself. It's a very indulgent book. The author took great care not to leave many details to the imagination. It's an interesting read, but filthy. I thought at first glance that all the stories in it were true, but somehow I feel like most of them were fictional. Who jacks off in a tree? Who walks around in a torrential rainfall wearing nothing but torn underwear? Maybe the stories were true, maybe not, I don't know. I think I am just too boring. I really like the cover design though, and I liked that the stories were about both men and women. I feel like bisexuals don't get enough representation, and this was a decent collection overall.
December 17, 2014
Allison is a wonderful storyteller and I picked up her book after running across her telling one of the stories in this book as part of Bawdy Storytelling: http://youtu.be/BT62MvXo-0E. As you can see if you check out this video she really tells the story, there is no reading from the book. Each chapter is a self-contained story. This is a real delight to read and it's a quick read. I thoroughly enjoyed spending an evening with Allison.
February 11, 2017
Some essays were extremely funny and/or relatable, others fell a bit flat for me. I suppose that's why it took me so long to get through the first bit— the better content was in the back half of the book. A decent read if you've struggled with your sexual identity and think sex can be funny.
January 19, 2015
*Received this book for an honest review
If you want a funny read and you do not get offended by people just having fun living life then please read this book. Loved it!
If you want a funny read and you do not get offended by people just having fun living life then please read this book. Loved it!
November 19, 2016
Loved this book!!!
November 17, 2019
It was alright, I don’t have much to say about it. I just couldn’t get past the idea of a bisexual woman calling herself a dyke?
March 16, 2024
she is a bigot joking about palestine not existing so i will not finish reading this
April 11, 2019
It starts with kissing a girl as a teenager, then we get almost nothing but sex with men to the 50% mark. At which point, she’s psyched to be a dyke (again) but her primary partner and the only person she talks about being in love with is a queer man, although she has tons of often casual, group sex with women. So, if you’re not expecting this, it might be disappointing.
A lot of the bits were amusing stories, albeit self consciously that way, with the polish and public awareness of a story teller who has told that story a lot. Occasionally in some stories it felt more like she was acting on brand than from desire alone.
However the parts that were just life, especially the LA in her 20s, felt so honest and true. It’s not that the rest wasn’t true, but I don’t know, it was less about being an an entertaining story with excess and bravado. Those realer bits were my favorites and earned the 4th star.
A lot of the bits were amusing stories, albeit self consciously that way, with the polish and public awareness of a story teller who has told that story a lot. Occasionally in some stories it felt more like she was acting on brand than from desire alone.
However the parts that were just life, especially the LA in her 20s, felt so honest and true. It’s not that the rest wasn’t true, but I don’t know, it was less about being an an entertaining story with excess and bravado. Those realer bits were my favorites and earned the 4th star.
November 18, 2015
Sometimes, I think my story is a little wacked out and wild. Then I read Allison Moon and I am reminded at how middle of the road my experiences are in this life. Still, it is nice to read a sex positive and shameless account of her experiences and stumblings and acceptance of her sexual identity. As much of it as I couldn't even begin to relate to for that, it is refreshing to see representation.
December 31, 2015
I saw something about this on twitter that made me think I'd enjoy it, and the title put me in mind of 'bad feminist'; I guess i expected essays about a woman's relationship to queerness. What i got were what one might call 'ribald tales of sexy romps'. Tedious to me. I guess I was reminded I prefer non fiction to inform me in some way.
October 3, 2017
A book that was honest, funny and radical. I appreciated Moon's accounts of her journey through life and of self-discovery. Her boldness was reassuring and her stories were poignant. I certainly recommend this book if you're looking to widen the scope of your understandings of intimacy, love and connection.
January 9, 2017
Way to go Allison Moon for writing and publishing so many of your "you can't make this shit up" stories. Queer life is full of these (though maybe not as full as Allison's life!) and not enough get documented and shared. I found this book sexy, courageous and real.
January 16, 2018
Just a whole lot of fun. I found myself laughing so loud at these bawdy and amazing stories. It made me wish that the Bawdy Storytelling show in San Francsisco was much, much closer. Hilarious and awesome!
December 27, 2014
Hilarious and fantastic. Was only disappointed by how short it was!
May 17, 2015
This book may have been a bit to salacious for me. But I can see its value as a book all the same.
August 4, 2015
Ok. Best erotica book I've ever read in my life. I can't even express how much I love this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 6, 2015
This book is sexy, and I was jealous of Moon's ability to be so fluid in so many areas of her life.
December 13, 2015
Bad Dyke: Salacious Stories from a Queer Life by Allison Moon: http://reviews-and-ramblings.dreamwid... 2015 Rainbow Awards Honorable Mention (5* from at least 1 judge)
May 6, 2016
This book made me reevaluate every sexual encounter I have ever had. Loved it for all of it's queerness and honesty.
May 1, 2016
Light-hearted and heart-warming selection of tales of sexual happiness. Loved the variety and playful tone. 12 stars out of 5, would buy again.
Want to read
November 19, 2017I registered a book at BookCrossing.com!
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/14810598
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/14810598
December 22, 2021
Eye-opening is really all I can say
July 26, 2018
I moved between like and dislike with each short memoir in this book - maybe I didn't really know what to expect? I had warmed up to it by the end, and there are a couple really sweet stories. Maybe it speaks more to my lack of breadth of sexy reading than the quality of the book. Like, I don't know if I didn't like the author or the writing or the content or? Whatever, fine read, refreshingly free of identity politics.
May 25, 2024
Ugh. You are a bad dyke, yikes. Almost didn't add to my read list but only finished it to do that so... Would not read again, and will not read anything else by this author. Just not my vibe. Didn't like content, writing style, the author's personality. I rarely feel like a mean person, but reading the c word 28 times per paragraph will apparently do that to me. Whomever rated this higher than one star, will also not be taking recommendations from you.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 54 reviews