I Broke My Own Heart Waiting for You to Choose Me: How to Stop Hoping for Someone Who Will Never Be Ready

by Lena Hartley

You didn’t get closure — you got silence. And in that silence, you stayed. Hoping. Waiting. Loving.

This is for the woman who gave her heart to someone emotionally unavailable.
For the one who kept believing “one day they’ll see my worth.”
For the one who kept showing up — while slowly falling apart inside.

I Broke My Own Heart Waiting for You to Choose Me is not about them.
It’s about you.

In this heartfelt, healing guide, Lena Hartley walks you through the quiet ache of loving someone who never chose you — and the even braver act of finally choosing yourself.

You’ll learn how
✅ Recognize the patterns that kept you stuck
✅ Let go of the “potential” you fell in love with
✅ Rebuild the version of you that shrank for love
✅ Create peace instead of clinging to hope
✅ Love again — without losing yourself

If you’ve been told you’re “too emotional,” “too patient,” or “too much” — this book is your homecoming.

📌 Because love should not feel like a waiting room.
It should feel like a place where your heart is safe.

And this time, it starts with you.

Genres: Self Help, Audiobook

83 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 3, 2025

Reviews

[Domonique · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love love love

Soooo I'm more of a fictional reader & this is my 1st self help book & im honestly amazed this book opened my eyes to something I battled with but still found a way to blame myself because I always felt like love hurts you have to prove your love you have to wait until they are ready YOU DON'T & this book solidified that I am not tripping

[Brena · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not a single ounce of information online suggests this author is a person. Be weary of AI publications.

[Tara Bonslater · Rating 1 out of 5]

It felt like a "copy and paste" from other articles floating around the internet. I didn't hear anything new. Everything i read had me thinking...waiting didn't i read that somewhere else a year ago. Nothing about this is original. I would even go further than to state some of it may be plagiarism.

[Saint Eli]

the title explains the book no need to read

[Melody T · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

is one of those books that hits a little too close to home at times. The author explores the painful reality of waiting for someone who continually gives just enough hope to keep you holding on while never fully choosing you. The message about self-worth, emotional availability, and letting go of potential rather than reality was powerful and thought-provoking.

What I appreciated most was how the book challenged the idea that love alone can make someone ready for a relationship. It highlights how easy it is to become attached to who someone could be instead of accepting who they are right now. Some of the reflections felt like a much-needed reality check.

That said, the book became somewhat repetitive in places. Many of the lessons were valuable, but they were often restated multiple times, making parts of the book feel longer than necessary. I also would have liked more practical steps and deeper exploration of the healing process instead of revisiting the same core message.

Overall, this was a solid read for anyone struggling to let go of someone who isn't fully available. While it didn't offer many new ideas, it delivered its message clearly and compassionately. Sometimes the hardest truth to hear is that waiting for someone to choose you can keep you from choosing yourself.

[Sabrina Guidice - Aviles · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did like this book. I really did. When I first started reading, I saw so much of myself in the words that I started to cry. Going through a break up with someone that I was with for over four years isn’t easy, but I guess I knew that this day would come at some point so it doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. When I saw the title of this book, it intrigued me and lo and behold. I saw a lot of myself in there. I learned a lot from the relationship and from this book. It was beautifully written, but I gave it three stars because the author had an odd way of repeating what was already said over and over again. I guess I could correlate that with her trying to sink in what we were doing in our characteristics to create the relationships that we chose to be in. If you repeat something enough, it becomes common knowledge. But I did skip through parts of the ends of the book because, I got it already lol. The compassion that she writes with is lovely and the way she talks to you she doesn’t diminish you but consoles you and helps you understand why you waited to be chosen. I would definitely consider this a must read for anyone who’s going through a situation like this.

[Megan Collins · Rating 2 out of 5]

** spoiler alert ** This self-help book is written inconsistently. Most of the time it is written to the people that hurt Lena Hartley. Sometimes it seems meant for others having the same problem. But sometimes it is just highly repetitive words that seem to remind the author of their own journey. There are no descriptive examples turned into funny or shocking stories. It is just the mantras of love not being sacrifice, choosing yourself, and emotional unavailability is a choice not something to wait out. If you need someone to confirm those thoughts in your head, it might be helpful but it won’t convince anyone who disagrees. (1.5 stars)

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful for me

This might not be for everyone but the minute that I read, it sound a lot of happens in my life. Now I know that I am not alone in this. This is very helpful and guide me to love myself, forgive myself, and let go the anger of waiting for someone to love me, chose me, or change their mind to be with me.

It is very guide to help myself understand better.

[Aime Yhajahira Aleman · Rating 5 out of 5]

please read if you’re ever in doubt.

As recently separating. After years of trying to give my all to someone who gave the minimum and I’m finally choosing more. I loved this book. I wish a I could say more but it left me speechless with tears in my eyes trying to get my emotions together as I’m going thru this. Thank you for this book. The words. The wisdom. The advice.

[Shirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

A letter to the author

The book (masterpiece) spoke to my heart talked about my life gave me language to describe my feelings gave me understanding allowed me to accept the things I can not change and heal so that I can help others. I’m very grateful for this masterpiece and I recommend anyone to read it especially the broken hearted.

[Gina Buroker · Rating 2 out of 5]

repetitive!

Read the first chapter and last chapter and save yourself from the repetitive middle section. There is a good message to take from this, but it could have been received in less time unless you think you need the message to get hammered into your skull repeatedly so you finally “get” it.

[Vickie Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Self LOve

Excellent read for learning how to love yourself first. Too often we overlook ourselves in our service to the world around us and we need to be reminded that we are most important.

[Candous Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you’re a young person trying to determine how to move forward after a break up or situationship, this is a good start. The redundancy threw me off but it did have some jewels of wisdom that can be applied on a healing/self love journey.

[Katherine Harrison · Rating 3 out of 5]

A great start

When you're ready to choose yourself start with this book. It is repetitive, but it's everything we need to hear. If you find yourself in need of retraining your heart to love add this to your TBR

[Brandon Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Painful but eye opening.

If this sounds like it’s for you, it probably is.

[Alisa Richelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

An old book on my shelf that I gave a whirl. Very “surfacey” and nothing you can’t come across on social media. It almost seems AI written.

[bridget dibattista · Rating 5 out of 5]

great read!

Loved this book!! Definitely an eye opener for me!! I choose me and will never wait for almost love again!! I’m worth far too much!

[Lisa Magnusson · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book - good. The listening to an AI voice - horrible. I like to listen to books as I work, but I couldn’t get through this book fast enough on Audible. Read it; do NOT listen to it

[Morgan Bond · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not particularly deep or lengthy. But highly relatable.

[Corinne Guillama · Rating 5 out of 5]

another great read when you've been here too many times. recommended to thosw that need it

[Tiffany Hembree · Rating 2 out of 5]

This just wasn’t my cup of tea. Who hurt her in the past for her to write a book so repetitive?

[Katherine Kehres · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book felt pretty repetitive at times - some parts I'll agree to disagree and others hit home though.

[Tracy Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not sure there was much practical application to be had (ie how to make things better or not stay stuck in the same cycles)

[AttackGirl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ugh…. Self esteem issues.