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I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokpokki #2
Vorrei farla finita, ma sempre mangiare toppokki
L'ossessione per il proprio corpo e per come appare, l'impiego nel settore editoriale che, dopo pochi mesi, si rivela troppo competitivo, il rapporto problematico con cibo e alcol che compensano un senso di vuoto e Baek Sehee non riesce a liberarsi della sua depressione, e per questo una volta a settimana incontra uno psichiatra che le offre gli strumenti per procedere lungo la via della guarigione. Una notte, Baek precipita in un'ennesima crisi depressiva che la spinge al limite del suo malessere esistenziale e, non molto tempo dopo, la fine torna a farsi così vicina da sembrare la donna ha un grave incidente in macchina, a cui però sopravvive quasi indenne. Quest'episodio segna inaspettatamente un nuovo inizio, un cambio di prospettiva, e apre uno spiraglio alla gratitudine nei confronti della Baek si rende conto di non desiderare la morte, e questo le permette di adottare uno sguardo diverso su sé stessa e su ciò che la circonda. Da quel giorno, non senza ricadute e difficoltà, comincia a muoversi in un'altra direzione, per accettare il cambiamento e smettere di odiarsi.
Dopo il successo di Vorrei farla finita, ma anche mangiare toppokki, Baek Sehee torna con un dialogo intenso e profondo, che mostra la possibilità di trovare sollievo a un dolore invisibile. Amati e consigliati dal leader dei BTS, i memoir di Baek Sehee descrivono con lucidità i risvolti di una malattia tra le più subdole e dolorose offrendo al tempo stesso l'esperienza di chi alla fine è riuscito a uscirne.
Dopo il successo di Vorrei farla finita, ma anche mangiare toppokki, Baek Sehee torna con un dialogo intenso e profondo, che mostra la possibilità di trovare sollievo a un dolore invisibile. Amati e consigliati dal leader dei BTS, i memoir di Baek Sehee descrivono con lucidità i risvolti di una malattia tra le più subdole e dolorose offrendo al tempo stesso l'esperienza di chi alla fine è riuscito a uscirne.
185 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 3, 2019
879 people are currently reading
19063 people want to read
About the author
Baek Se-hee
3 books769 followersBaek Se-hee (Korean: 백세희) was a South Korean author best known for her memoir, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki (2018), and its sequel, I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki (2019). Both works related to her treatment for depression and her conflicted thoughts about it.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,010 reviews
September 24, 2025
To all my friends battling depression:
Just as a cold can strike multiple times, so too can depression. I know each episode can be excruciatingly difficult, but I believe it can bring about new beginnings. I hope you can create a personal guide to help you navigate these challenging times.
Please forgive yourself for feeling weak, for sleeping excessively, for crying. It's OK. As long as you didn't give up, as long as you chose life, you've already done something incredible. Your primary goal right now is simply to keep going, even if it's for just one person or one thing.
Please rescue yourself. Read, write, go for walks, soak up the sun, try new things, and exercise. Hold onto any little thing that brings you joy, anything that can boost your dopamine and serotonin levels. Avoid sad things. Seek out positivity and uplifting content to boost your confidence. Your inner child is calling out for attention. It needs you to comfort it. Don't hesitate to spend a little on self-care. It's an investment in your healing. And please, stick to your medication and keep a journal.
Gradually start taking on small tasks without putting too much pressure on yourself. Stop dwelling on abstract concepts like the meaning of life or love. Focus on tangible things, like folding laundry or cleaning. Slowly, you'll start to feel a sense of fulfillment and purpose, reducing feelings of guilt.
Start with small, consistent habits. Believe in the power of persistence. Discover how cool you are. Life isn't just about achieving a certain number of goals. It's about becoming the kind of person you want to be. Actions are the means to that end, testing us and helping us grow.
Looking back, you'll realize you've weathered many storms. The pain you've experienced has been real, but you've endured it. In the depths of despair, you've gained clarity and learned to appreciate the people who support you. Imagine a future where you're alone and need to rely solely on yourself. You'll want to be strong and self-sufficient.
Remember, even if you want to die, you still want to eat tteokbokki. This is the truth of our complex emotions.
Just as a cold can strike multiple times, so too can depression. I know each episode can be excruciatingly difficult, but I believe it can bring about new beginnings. I hope you can create a personal guide to help you navigate these challenging times.
Please forgive yourself for feeling weak, for sleeping excessively, for crying. It's OK. As long as you didn't give up, as long as you chose life, you've already done something incredible. Your primary goal right now is simply to keep going, even if it's for just one person or one thing.
Please rescue yourself. Read, write, go for walks, soak up the sun, try new things, and exercise. Hold onto any little thing that brings you joy, anything that can boost your dopamine and serotonin levels. Avoid sad things. Seek out positivity and uplifting content to boost your confidence. Your inner child is calling out for attention. It needs you to comfort it. Don't hesitate to spend a little on self-care. It's an investment in your healing. And please, stick to your medication and keep a journal.
Gradually start taking on small tasks without putting too much pressure on yourself. Stop dwelling on abstract concepts like the meaning of life or love. Focus on tangible things, like folding laundry or cleaning. Slowly, you'll start to feel a sense of fulfillment and purpose, reducing feelings of guilt.
Start with small, consistent habits. Believe in the power of persistence. Discover how cool you are. Life isn't just about achieving a certain number of goals. It's about becoming the kind of person you want to be. Actions are the means to that end, testing us and helping us grow.
Looking back, you'll realize you've weathered many storms. The pain you've experienced has been real, but you've endured it. In the depths of despair, you've gained clarity and learned to appreciate the people who support you. Imagine a future where you're alone and need to rely solely on yourself. You'll want to be strong and self-sufficient.
Remember, even if you want to die, you still want to eat tteokbokki. This is the truth of our complex emotions.
Read
September 21, 2020I just finished the first book a couple days ago and I really love this self development book because... It's not give me a bright ending. It shows me that if you want to heal yourself, you need a time. It's okay at least you have a progress. Also one important thing is sometimes when you are on the way on healing, you can feeling bad again. But that's okay, that's also a progress. Don't give up on your healing session!.
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I love how the author said that she's happy yesterday but feeling bad again today because of something. Healing huh? If I can share mine, I never have a psychological problem until the last day of college. After that is boom! I feel anxiety every time. I become better after I get some inspirational quotes or motivation. Also after I met so many lovely friends on fandom that also in my ages and struggling with anxiety too (seems like we encourage each other). But it doesn't stay forever, there's also a time when I don't know what to do in live and just wanna be a grass. There's so many ups and downs in my healing progress, but I love it, I'm amazed that I still here, striving for the best.
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This book also come with counselling coupon and I'm interested to try!. I hope someday people understand that going to psychiatrist is same like going to doctor. It doesn't mean we are crazy! It means we are care enough with ourselves, want to speak up and also need some advice. I hope that day will come...
.
I love how the author said that she's happy yesterday but feeling bad again today because of something. Healing huh? If I can share mine, I never have a psychological problem until the last day of college. After that is boom! I feel anxiety every time. I become better after I get some inspirational quotes or motivation. Also after I met so many lovely friends on fandom that also in my ages and struggling with anxiety too (seems like we encourage each other). But it doesn't stay forever, there's also a time when I don't know what to do in live and just wanna be a grass. There's so many ups and downs in my healing progress, but I love it, I'm amazed that I still here, striving for the best.
.
This book also come with counselling coupon and I'm interested to try!. I hope someday people understand that going to psychiatrist is same like going to doctor. It doesn't mean we are crazy! It means we are care enough with ourselves, want to speak up and also need some advice. I hope that day will come...
Read
August 15, 2024Translated once again by Anton Hur, I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a continuation of Baek Se-hee's first book. Incidentally, I recently interviewed Anton for the launch of his sci-fi novel Toward Eternity and I asked him about the titling of this book. I asked if he was tempted to call it I Want 2 Die but I Want 2 Eat Tteokbokki. He said yes, but in the end he went with something inspired by I Know What You Did Last Summer, rather than The Fast and the Furious.
Anyway, just like the first book, this is the author opening up about her experiences with depression and other areas of mental illness. It remains primarily a manuscript of her therapy sessions; however, this second book feels a little more focussed. Each chapter distinctly hones in on a specific topic (for example: body image, beauty, gender expectations etc.) In that way, it feels a little more polished than the first book. Both, however, are very courageous openings-up of one person's mental health struggles. Relatable, comforting, and honest.
Anyway, just like the first book, this is the author opening up about her experiences with depression and other areas of mental illness. It remains primarily a manuscript of her therapy sessions; however, this second book feels a little more focussed. Each chapter distinctly hones in on a specific topic (for example: body image, beauty, gender expectations etc.) In that way, it feels a little more polished than the first book. Both, however, are very courageous openings-up of one person's mental health struggles. Relatable, comforting, and honest.
March 27, 2025
I remember reading reviews for the first book and thinking, yeah, the psychiatrist is not perfect, but they are also not THAT bad, right? My oh my, how I changed my mind after reading the second book.
The author tells them, how she is feeling insecure about her weight and eating habits, and how she wonders if she has eating disorder. The psychiatrist replies with “The ironic thing here is that from an objective perspective, you aren’t anywhere near obese or fat”. WOW. Such a great answer!
If a fat person told them, that they have symptoms of eating disorder, would they encourage it and say “yeah, you should definitely restrict your food intake, because from an objective perspective, you are obese!”. Just what kind of professional decides to tell their “objective” opinion to their patient?
Or when the author describes, how she doesn’t understand if she likes make up or she does it so she can fit in with the beauty standards created by patriarchy, the psychiatrist answers that “it’s not necessarily that women are pressured into it, but it’s a part of a competitive system”. Hm, I wonder where that competitive system comes from 🤔
And these are just two examples. The psychiatrist does so many other unprofessional things, that I honestly lost count by some point. Those also include laughing at their patient and making petty remarks (“you already don’t fit in into those pants? It’s just been a few days!”).
The fact, that the author describes that she’s getting better while she’s obviously going into direction of getting a serious eating disorder was disturbing. I hope they get a proper help.
The two stars are not necessarily a reflection on author’s writing style, but more on a psychiatrist’s incompetence. It was saddening to read.
Edit from 2025:
Honestly. 1 star.
The author tells them, how she is feeling insecure about her weight and eating habits, and how she wonders if she has eating disorder. The psychiatrist replies with “The ironic thing here is that from an objective perspective, you aren’t anywhere near obese or fat”. WOW. Such a great answer!
If a fat person told them, that they have symptoms of eating disorder, would they encourage it and say “yeah, you should definitely restrict your food intake, because from an objective perspective, you are obese!”. Just what kind of professional decides to tell their “objective” opinion to their patient?
Or when the author describes, how she doesn’t understand if she likes make up or she does it so she can fit in with the beauty standards created by patriarchy, the psychiatrist answers that “it’s not necessarily that women are pressured into it, but it’s a part of a competitive system”. Hm, I wonder where that competitive system comes from 🤔
And these are just two examples. The psychiatrist does so many other unprofessional things, that I honestly lost count by some point. Those also include laughing at their patient and making petty remarks (“you already don’t fit in into those pants? It’s just been a few days!”).
The fact, that the author describes that she’s getting better while she’s obviously going into direction of getting a serious eating disorder was disturbing. I hope they get a proper help.
The two stars are not necessarily a reflection on author’s writing style, but more on a psychiatrist’s incompetence. It was saddening to read.
Edit from 2025:
Honestly. 1 star.
November 12, 2020
Buatku pribadi, buku kedua dari Baek Se-hee ini terasa lebih "intim" dibandingkan buku sebelumnya. Masih berisi percakapannya dengan sang psikiater, juga masalah penulis dengan distimia yang dia derita.
Satu kata itu, distimia, sebenarnya sangat "akrab" buatku pribadi sejak awal tahun ini. Terus, baca percakapan si penulis saat konseling dengan psikiaternya bikin berpikir banyak. Mungkin beberapa orang nggak bakal terlalu gimana saat baca, tapi buatku pribadi sih ya kayak banyak ruang privasiku yang terasa dihunjam. Paling suka ketika penulis selamat dari kecelakaan yang membuatnya "bersyukur".
Catatan kecil: syukurlah penerbit nggak pakai halaman mentereng lagi kayak buku pertama (sempat kusinggung juga pada review-ku di buku pertama https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...). Tapi entah kenapa, baik buku pertama maupun kedua, typo-nya banyaaaaak banget. Bahkan, penggalan kata aja nggak rapi, plus masih ada sila(h)kan. Tumben aja untuk penerbit ini karena biasanya rapi. Semoga cetakan ketiga (aku dapat cetakan kedua) sudah diperbaiki biar yang baca nyaman.
Satu kata itu, distimia, sebenarnya sangat "akrab" buatku pribadi sejak awal tahun ini. Terus, baca percakapan si penulis saat konseling dengan psikiaternya bikin berpikir banyak. Mungkin beberapa orang nggak bakal terlalu gimana saat baca, tapi buatku pribadi sih ya kayak banyak ruang privasiku yang terasa dihunjam. Paling suka ketika penulis selamat dari kecelakaan yang membuatnya "bersyukur".
Catatan kecil: syukurlah penerbit nggak pakai halaman mentereng lagi kayak buku pertama (sempat kusinggung juga pada review-ku di buku pertama https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...). Tapi entah kenapa, baik buku pertama maupun kedua, typo-nya banyaaaaak banget. Bahkan, penggalan kata aja nggak rapi, plus masih ada sila(h)kan. Tumben aja untuk penerbit ini karena biasanya rapi. Semoga cetakan ketiga (aku dapat cetakan kedua) sudah diperbaiki biar yang baca nyaman.
February 15, 2023
i can't relate, sorry.
August 5, 2024
I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki: Further Conversations with My Psychiatrist - Baek Se-hee
3،5/5
" - Psychiatrist: Then does it persist on your good days as well?
- Me: Just because it’s a good day, that doesn’t mean I feel like it’s great to be alive."
"You have to practise saying that you feel unwell when you feel unwell. Instead of enduring it until the last minute "
الجزء الأول من هذا الكتاب كان جيدًا، كانت الكاتبة في أولى خطوات العلاج النفسي من الاكتئاب الذي لازمها طوال حياتها وتتلمس طريق التعافي، ربما بدت أسئلتها وحواراتها بسيطةى ولكن بعد قراءة هذا الكتاب، سيفهم القارئ ويرى النضج والوعي الذي يعيشه الإنسان خلال رحلة التعافي، نعم، المعاناة موجودة وهناك أيام صعبة-ربما أكثر صعوبة من السابق، لكن الرؤية واضحة والطريق ممهد للتعافي.
كتاب رائع حيث تشاركنا الكاتبة لحظات ضعفها وهشاشتها وتجربتها الخاصة جدًا.
3،5/5
" - Psychiatrist: Then does it persist on your good days as well?
- Me: Just because it’s a good day, that doesn’t mean I feel like it’s great to be alive."
"You have to practise saying that you feel unwell when you feel unwell. Instead of enduring it until the last minute "
الجزء الأول من هذا الكتاب كان جيدًا، كانت الكاتبة في أولى خطوات العلاج النفسي من الاكتئاب الذي لازمها طوال حياتها وتتلمس طريق التعافي، ربما بدت أسئلتها وحواراتها بسيطةى ولكن بعد قراءة هذا الكتاب، سيفهم القارئ ويرى النضج والوعي الذي يعيشه الإنسان خلال رحلة التعافي، نعم، المعاناة موجودة وهناك أيام صعبة-ربما أكثر صعوبة من السابق، لكن الرؤية واضحة والطريق ممهد للتعافي.
كتاب رائع حيث تشاركنا الكاتبة لحظات ضعفها وهشاشتها وتجربتها الخاصة جدًا.
October 11, 2024
I was triggered.
The therapist sounds like the author and the author author themselves so it’s like talking to our own selves. You will know. Just read the book if you feel like you are not visible anymore even to yourself.
I feel we need a different book from the author.
The therapist sounds like the author and the author author themselves so it’s like talking to our own selves. You will know. Just read the book if you feel like you are not visible anymore even to yourself.
I feel we need a different book from the author.
October 14, 2024
Un poco triste calificar este de manera tan baja.
El primer libro me gustó demasiado. Siento que, en parte, lo leí cuando en realidad lo necesitaba. Como que tanto la autora como yo estábamos pasando por situaciones similares y el libro me dio un cierto tipo de consuelo. De verdad esperaba que la experiencia tan positiva se repitiera con esta secuela, pero quedé sumamente decepcionado.
Decepcionado porque mientras lo leía era imposible no sentir que el potencial sin explorar era demasiado grande. Habían varios temas que se iban tocando poco a poco pero jamás y repito JAMÁS se profundizaron correctamente. Al inicio me hacia ilusión ver cosas con las que estoy viviendo ahora yo también dos años después de haber leído el primero pero era como prender el boiler y no meterte a bañar. La oportunidad estaba ahí pero Baek Sehee nunca la toma.
Ese es mi mayor problema con este: el potencial desaprovechado. Llegó un punto donde ya no estaba metido en la lectura porque sabía que el libro no me iba a satisfacer del todo; solo se. iban. a soltar temas al aire uno tras otro y jamás se desarrollarian como me gustaría.
Meh la verdad. El primer fallo dentro de mi incursión a la literatura coreana, y el primer libro que no me gusta que ha traducido mi marido Anton Hur.
El primer libro me gustó demasiado. Siento que, en parte, lo leí cuando en realidad lo necesitaba. Como que tanto la autora como yo estábamos pasando por situaciones similares y el libro me dio un cierto tipo de consuelo. De verdad esperaba que la experiencia tan positiva se repitiera con esta secuela, pero quedé sumamente decepcionado.
Decepcionado porque mientras lo leía era imposible no sentir que el potencial sin explorar era demasiado grande. Habían varios temas que se iban tocando poco a poco pero jamás y repito JAMÁS se profundizaron correctamente. Al inicio me hacia ilusión ver cosas con las que estoy viviendo ahora yo también dos años después de haber leído el primero pero era como prender el boiler y no meterte a bañar. La oportunidad estaba ahí pero Baek Sehee nunca la toma.
Ese es mi mayor problema con este: el potencial desaprovechado. Llegó un punto donde ya no estaba metido en la lectura porque sabía que el libro no me iba a satisfacer del todo; solo se. iban. a soltar temas al aire uno tras otro y jamás se desarrollarian como me gustaría.
Meh la verdad. El primer fallo dentro de mi incursión a la literatura coreana, y el primer libro que no me gusta que ha traducido mi marido Anton Hur.
July 19, 2024
Tbh this could send me into a depressive episode or into a reading slump, 50/50 chance.
Read
July 13, 2025 *** I DON'T RATE AUTOBIOGRAPHIES OR MEMOIRS ***
Thoughts
This book resonated with me more than the first one that I feel emotionally exhausted from all of it being said aloud.. Turns out you truly don't know how good you are at hiding your own feelings until you resonate with a book 🤷🏼♀️ not that I needed validation or anything but it somewhat felt comforting to know there's someone out there who understands the things you don't talk about even if your reasoning and life is shaped entirely different.
Thoughts
This book resonated with me more than the first one that I feel emotionally exhausted from all of it being said aloud.. Turns out you truly don't know how good you are at hiding your own feelings until you resonate with a book 🤷🏼♀️ not that I needed validation or anything but it somewhat felt comforting to know there's someone out there who understands the things you don't talk about even if your reasoning and life is shaped entirely different.
Read
January 9, 2025the psychiatrist needs a psychiatrist.
November 6, 2024
I took this book in my hands without knowing what I am going to read, very superficially, just because I loved the title. “I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki”, by Baek Se-hee, is a non fiction, part memoir, part self-help book, related to mental health. It contains small chapters, each one of them representing a psychotherapy session with the writer’s psychiatrist. It is a book that feels personal but at the same time universal. It is written in a clever and humorous way and it is filled with empathy and honesty. Irrespective of whether you face any issues with your mental health or not it will comfort you and you will feel seen. The only reason why it couldn’t score higher for me was that even though it felt like a comfort read, it lacks depth and I couldn’t really relate with most parts of the book. Still, I enjoyed reading it and I feel that for some people this book might feel like a pat on the back.
This is a book about mental health issues and disorders. Depression and anxiety as incurable chronic illnesses. Suicidal thoughts and self harming behavior. Disordered eating behavior, strict beauty standards and abnormal self image. Feelings of inferiority, and putting immeasurable pressure on yourself to please and make an impression. The idea of altering your behavior to accommodate others which ends up in sabotaging yourself. Seeing yourself through the eyes of others and judging through them. A story about the present you and the past you. About all the things someone can do to remain sane. Psychotherapy, psychodrama and medical treatment. Prioritising spending your energy to the opinions that matter the most. The path to freedom, relief and healing. The idea of releasing memories that were suppressed and handling your emotions. Having the wisdom to slow down and be brave enough to ask for help. Learn to blame others for their wrongdoings and refuse to accept responsibility for things you have not done. A book about accepting that stress is inevitable and life is hard. About rationalising, being honest to yourself, being true to the moment, and making choices that profit you. About flexible thinking and the benefit of believing in your experience. Mostly though, this is a book about finding a path to awareness, understanding and wisdom. About seeking purpose, seeing what’s good in you, accepting yourself as you are and enjoying life, or at least try to enjoy it, even in those moments that are full of just emptiness.
Why should you read “I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki”?
Because you will find points of connection that will help you see your inner darkness.
Because you will witness how hurtful it can be projecting yourself onto others and seeing yourself through them.
Because you will reflect on all the things we do to fit and be liked.
Because you will realise how we think so little of people’s positive opinions about ourselves while making such a big deal of the negative ones.
Because you will understand that as it is impossible to predict people’s reactions to your actions, the best thing is to just be sincere and do what you truly want to do.
Because you will acknowledge that everyone has their process of changing who they are and every patient has different needs and requires different solutions.
Because you will feel grateful and lucky in your ordinariness.
Because you will think what kind of life you want to live and what kind of person you want to be.
Favourite quotes:
“When it rains we put on raincoats or open an umbrella, but when it’s really storming and blowing, none of that is effective anymore and we have to sick shelter”.
This is a book about mental health issues and disorders. Depression and anxiety as incurable chronic illnesses. Suicidal thoughts and self harming behavior. Disordered eating behavior, strict beauty standards and abnormal self image. Feelings of inferiority, and putting immeasurable pressure on yourself to please and make an impression. The idea of altering your behavior to accommodate others which ends up in sabotaging yourself. Seeing yourself through the eyes of others and judging through them. A story about the present you and the past you. About all the things someone can do to remain sane. Psychotherapy, psychodrama and medical treatment. Prioritising spending your energy to the opinions that matter the most. The path to freedom, relief and healing. The idea of releasing memories that were suppressed and handling your emotions. Having the wisdom to slow down and be brave enough to ask for help. Learn to blame others for their wrongdoings and refuse to accept responsibility for things you have not done. A book about accepting that stress is inevitable and life is hard. About rationalising, being honest to yourself, being true to the moment, and making choices that profit you. About flexible thinking and the benefit of believing in your experience. Mostly though, this is a book about finding a path to awareness, understanding and wisdom. About seeking purpose, seeing what’s good in you, accepting yourself as you are and enjoying life, or at least try to enjoy it, even in those moments that are full of just emptiness.
Why should you read “I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki”?
Because you will find points of connection that will help you see your inner darkness.
Because you will witness how hurtful it can be projecting yourself onto others and seeing yourself through them.
Because you will reflect on all the things we do to fit and be liked.
Because you will realise how we think so little of people’s positive opinions about ourselves while making such a big deal of the negative ones.
Because you will understand that as it is impossible to predict people’s reactions to your actions, the best thing is to just be sincere and do what you truly want to do.
Because you will acknowledge that everyone has their process of changing who they are and every patient has different needs and requires different solutions.
Because you will feel grateful and lucky in your ordinariness.
Because you will think what kind of life you want to live and what kind of person you want to be.
Favourite quotes:
“When it rains we put on raincoats or open an umbrella, but when it’s really storming and blowing, none of that is effective anymore and we have to sick shelter”.
October 25, 2025
Baek Se-Hee, if you're reading this from heaven, i want you to know that you’ve saved my life. There were times when a book was my only option for distraction. I was falling into the world of another creation. That moment was surely beautiful, living every different arc and magic. I had a thought that i would love to stay inside the paragraphs, lying down on the mattress of words and sentences. Maybe i could taste a different pain, sense a different bruise, or perhaps, i could be a hero i always wanted to be.
Yes it is indeed funny, that i was reading your second book first, i found it interesting, and i didn’t want to spend my time trying to understand you; I just wanted to fight for my healing, and the last part is supposed to be the healing part, right? You said in the very last chapter, “I’m finally not hating myself anymore.” I cried a lot. Again and again i believed myself that I'd be a miracle, that i'd be the living proof. However, I was always full of hatred; i hated myself so much.
Perhaps healing isn’t something linear. You might have chosen the bravest choice you could’ve taken. I appreciate it, nothing is ever easy to admit that we have to live with so much complexity. You taught me a lot of things, and i'll carry that fire with me, even when you’re already gone. For life to be compassionate enough, i've decided to be the sun and the miracle. I'll carry your words on my kindness.
Yes it is indeed funny, that i was reading your second book first, i found it interesting, and i didn’t want to spend my time trying to understand you; I just wanted to fight for my healing, and the last part is supposed to be the healing part, right? You said in the very last chapter, “I’m finally not hating myself anymore.” I cried a lot. Again and again i believed myself that I'd be a miracle, that i'd be the living proof. However, I was always full of hatred; i hated myself so much.
Perhaps healing isn’t something linear. You might have chosen the bravest choice you could’ve taken. I appreciate it, nothing is ever easy to admit that we have to live with so much complexity. You taught me a lot of things, and i'll carry that fire with me, even when you’re already gone. For life to be compassionate enough, i've decided to be the sun and the miracle. I'll carry your words on my kindness.
March 11, 2024
This second book felt more or less like an extension of book 1: more therapy sessions, more reflections. I really like how accessibly these books portray therapy sessions, and I like how much awareness this creates. I've seen some mixed reviews but I think it's really interesting to see such an honest portrayal of depression.
January 17, 2025
2,8 ✰
The psychiatrist was really unhinged this time??? If anything I would still want to die and not even want to eat tteokbokki anymore
The psychiatrist was really unhinged this time??? If anything I would still want to die and not even want to eat tteokbokki anymore
March 15, 2021
หากเหนื่อยกับชีวิตให้ลองหาต๊อกมากินเพื่อเพิ่มพลังกัน
จริงๆ ไม่ต้อง "ต๊อก" หรอกค่ะ แต่เป็นอะไรที่เราชอบและมีความสุข (วาดรูป/อ่านหนังสือ/แมว/ขนม/อะไรก็ว่าไป) เพื่อให้เราได้ใช้ชีวิตไปอีกหนึ่งวัน เพื่อให้เราได้มีพลังต่อสู้กับวันพรุ่งนี้ที่จะดีกว่าวันนี้
มายคิดว่าหลายคนอาจจะไม่ชอบหนังสือเล่มนี้เพราะ อ่านแล้วเหนื่อย แต่มายอยากบอกว่า เรา (หมายถึงอาการแบบที่ผู้เขียน/แบ็กเซฮี) เป็นมันเหนื่อยจริงๆ เหนื่อยแบบ เหนื่อยมากๆ จนไม่รู้ว่าจะมีชีวิตอยู่ไปทำไมเหมือนกัน จะอยู่หรือตายก็คงมีค่าเท่ากัน และเผลอๆ การตายอาจมีประโยชน์มากกว่า
มายเคยคิดแบบนี้จริงๆ แต่ตอนนี้ดีขึ้นมากแล้ว มายผ่านช่วงเวลาที่ยากผ่านหนังสือเล่มนี้ ผ่านปีแสง (ชื่อหนังสือของคุณดุจดาว) และการคุยกับหมอบำบัด อยากตายแต่ก็อยากกินต๊อกบกกีเล่มแรก ทำให้มายรู้ว่าการไปเจอหมอบำบัดไม่ใช่เรื่องน่ากลัวนะ มันเป็นเรื่องธรรมดามากๆ เลย
อยากตายแต่ก็อยากกินต๊อกเล่มสองไม่หนักหนาเท่าเล่มแรก เพราะคุณเซฮีก็ได้รับการบำบัด และผ่านช่วงชีวิตที่หลากหลายด้วยแง่คิดที่ดีขึ้น คุณเซฮีเองก็มีความสุขมากขึ้น (แต่เมื่อเทียบกับความสุขแล้วเหมือนความรู้สึกกังวลใจใหญ่กว่า - หน้า59) 5555 ซึ่งเป็นเรื่องที่ดีนะคะ จากไม่เคยรู้ตัวก็รู้ตัวมากกว่าขึ้นว่าเรามีความคิดแบบนี้
ส่วนตัวคิดว่าหนังสือเล่มนี้ไม่ได้ช่วยเพิ่มพลังใจอะไรนักหรอกค่ะ (วันไหนที่ไม่ได้คิดฟุ้งๆ แล้วอารมณ์ดีๆ มาอ่านแล้วเหนื่อยเลย) แต่มันช่วยให้เราเข้าใจตัวเองผ่านตัวหนังสือของคุณเซฮีมากขึ้น และก็คงไม่ได้ช่วยให้เข้าใจคนเป็นโรคซึมเศร้ามากขึ้น เพราะโรคซึมเศร้าก็มีหลากหลายรูปแบบเหมือนกัน แต่การได้อ่านเล่มนี้ในวันที่หนักหนาสาหัส คล้ายว่าไม่มีใครเข้าใจเราการได้อ่านหนังสือเล่มนี้พร้อมกับได้กินต๊อกจะทำให้เราผ่านพ้นวันนั้นไปได้ค่ะ
จริงๆ ไม่ต้อง "ต๊อก" หรอกค่ะ แต่เป็นอะไรที่เราชอบและมีความสุข (วาดรูป/อ่านหนังสือ/แมว/ขนม/อะไรก็ว่าไป) เพื่อให้เราได้ใช้ชีวิตไปอีกหนึ่งวัน เพื่อให้เราได้มีพลังต่อสู้กับวันพรุ่งนี้ที่จะดีกว่าวันนี้
มายคิดว่าหลายคนอาจจะไม่ชอบหนังสือเล่มนี้เพราะ อ่านแล้วเหนื่อย แต่มายอยากบอกว่า เรา (หมายถึงอาการแบบที่ผู้เขียน/แบ็กเซฮี) เป็นมันเหนื่อยจริงๆ เหนื่อยแบบ เหนื่อยมากๆ จนไม่รู้ว่าจะมีชีวิตอยู่ไปทำไมเหมือนกัน จะอยู่หรือตายก็คงมีค่าเท่ากัน และเผลอๆ การตายอาจมีประโยชน์มากกว่า
มายเคยคิดแบบนี้จริงๆ แต่ตอนนี้ดีขึ้นมากแล้ว มายผ่านช่วงเวลาที่ยากผ่านหนังสือเล่มนี้ ผ่านปีแสง (ชื่อหนังสือของคุณดุจดาว) และการคุยกับหมอบำบัด อยากตายแต่ก็อยากกินต๊อกบกกีเล่มแรก ทำให้มายรู้ว่าการไปเจอหมอบำบัดไม่ใช่เรื่องน่ากลัวนะ มันเป็นเรื่องธรรมดามากๆ เลย
อยากตายแต่ก็อยากกินต๊อกเล่มสองไม่หนักหนาเท่าเล่มแรก เพราะคุณเซฮีก็ได้รับการบำบัด และผ่านช่วงชีวิตที่หลากหลายด้วยแง่คิดที่ดีขึ้น คุณเซฮีเองก็มีความสุขมากขึ้น (แต่เมื่อเทียบกับความสุขแล้วเหมือนความรู้สึกกังวลใจใหญ่กว่า - หน้า59) 5555 ซึ่งเป็นเรื่องที่ดีนะคะ จากไม่เคยรู้ตัวก็รู้ตัวมากกว่าขึ้นว่าเรามีความคิดแบบนี้
ส่วนตัวคิดว่าหนังสือเล่มนี้ไม่ได้ช่วยเพิ่มพลังใจอะไรนักหรอกค่ะ (วันไหนที่ไม่ได้คิดฟุ้งๆ แล้วอารมณ์ดีๆ มาอ่านแล้วเหนื่อยเลย) แต่มันช่วยให้เราเข้าใจตัวเองผ่านตัวหนังสือของคุณเซฮีมากขึ้น และก็คงไม่ได้ช่วยให้เข้าใจคนเป็นโรคซึมเศร้ามากขึ้น เพราะโรคซึมเศร้าก็มีหลากหลายรูปแบบเหมือนกัน แต่การได้อ่านเล่มนี้ในวันที่หนักหนาสาหัส คล้ายว่าไม่มีใครเข้าใจเราการได้อ่านหนังสือเล่มนี้พร้อมกับได้กินต๊อกจะทำให้เราผ่านพ้นวันนั้นไปได้ค่ะ
July 29, 2025
Just like the first book, this one offers so many questions to ask yourself.
You do not need to have any personality traits or lived experiences in common with the author to relate to the issues, thoughts, feelings and insights provided here. You also do not need to simply judge and dismiss the author's experiences or the doctor's opinions while reading this book. What's portrayed in this book is only the most negative aspects, not the whole story.
You do not need to have any personality traits or lived experiences in common with the author to relate to the issues, thoughts, feelings and insights provided here. You also do not need to simply judge and dismiss the author's experiences or the doctor's opinions while reading this book. What's portrayed in this book is only the most negative aspects, not the whole story.
August 21, 2024
The Ongoing Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing
Life is messy, complicated, and often painfully mundane. We wake up, we go about our days, we struggle, we find moments of joy, and then we do it all over again. For those battling mental health issues, this cycle can feel especially grueling. In her poignant follow-up memoir, Baek Se-hee continues to lay bare her innermost thoughts and feelings as she navigates the ups and downs of living with dysthymia and anxiety.
"I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki: Further Conversations with My Psychiatrist" picks up where Baek's bestselling debut left off, offering readers an intimate look at her ongoing therapy sessions and personal reflections. Through raw, honest dialogue and introspection, Baek grapples with questions of self-worth, identity, and what it means to truly heal.
A Familiar Voice, Deeper Insights
For readers of Baek's first book, her voice will feel comfortingly familiar—self-deprecating, introspective, and often darkly humorous. She has a knack for articulating complex emotions in relatable ways, like when she describes her fluctuating moods: "Just because it's a good day, that doesn't mean I feel like it's great to be alive."
But there's also a sense that Baek has grown since we last heard from her. Her insights feel sharper, her self-awareness more developed. She's still struggling, but she's also learning to recognize her progress and give herself credit for small victories.
The Ongoing Nature of Mental Health
One of the most powerful aspects of this book is how it portrays mental health recovery as an ongoing process rather than a clear-cut journey from "sick" to "cured." Baek is candid about her setbacks and moments of despair, but she's also able to recognize her growth:
"I used to have moments where I thought, 'I really like myself today', but now I find myself thinking, 'I don't think I like myself today.' Which means, I now normally like myself, and the times I don't like myself are the exception! I think this is progress."
This nuanced portrayal feels refreshingly honest in a world that often expects neat, tidy narratives of overcoming adversity.
Exploring Universal Themes
While the book is deeply personal, Baek touches on themes that will resonate with many readers:
1. The desire for external validation
Baek grapples with her need for approval from others, reflecting on how this impacts her self-esteem and relationships.
2. Body image and societal pressures
She candidly discusses her struggles with weight and appearance, questioning the cultural forces that shape our perceptions of beauty.
3. The search for meaning and purpose
Throughout the book, Baek wrestles with feelings of emptiness and the desire to find passion and direction in life.
4. The complexities of human relationships
From family dynamics to friendships to romantic partnerships, Baek explores the joys and challenges of connecting with others.
A Window into the Therapeutic Process
One of the most fascinating aspects of "I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki" is how it provides insight into the therapeutic process itself. Through transcripts of Baek's sessions with her psychiatrist, readers get a fly-on-the-wall view of how therapy actually works. We see the gentle probing, the moments of breakthrough, and even the occasional frustrations.
This demystification of therapy feels important, especially in cultures where mental health treatment still carries stigma. Baek's openness about her experiences may encourage others to seek help when they need it.
Growth and Self-Acceptance
While Baek doesn't pretend to have all the answers, there's a clear arc of growth throughout the book. She learns to be kinder to herself, to challenge her negative thought patterns, and to find value in her own unique perspective on the world.
One particularly touching moment comes when Baek realizes she no longer hates herself:
"The biggest gain from my treatment and publishing my book has been the fact that I no longer hate myself. I continue to accept the little bits and fragments of myself that my eyes and mind perceive and try to stop the horrible things that I would once say to myself."
This hard-won self-acceptance feels like a genuine triumph, even as Baek acknowledges that her journey is far from over.
A Unique Literary Voice
Baek's writing style is distinctive and engaging. She has a gift for vivid metaphors that bring her inner world to life. When describing her tendency to spiral into negative thoughts, she writes: "I don't want to rush up the stairs only to tire myself out in the middle and roll back down to the bottom."
Her prose can be lyrical and introspective one moment, then bracingly direct the next. This creates a reading experience that feels authentic to the unpredictable nature of our thoughts and emotions.
Cultural Context and Universal Appeal
While the book is deeply rooted in Baek's experiences as a young Korean woman, the themes she explores are universal. That said, readers unfamiliar with Korean culture may find some interesting insights into societal pressures and expectations specific to that context.
Translator Anton Hur deserves credit for capturing the nuances of Baek's voice in English, preserving both her vulnerability and her wry sense of humor.
Not Just Another Self-Help Book
It's important to note that "I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki" is not a traditional self-help book. Baek doesn't offer easy solutions or step-by-step guides to happiness. Instead, she provides something arguably more valuable: companionship on the often-lonely journey of self-discovery and healing.
By sharing her story with such unflinching honesty, Baek creates a sense of connection. Readers struggling with similar issues may find comfort in knowing they're not alone, while those who haven't experienced depression or anxiety firsthand can gain a deeper understanding of what it's like to live with these conditions.
A Worthy Sequel
For fans of Baek's first book, this sequel delivers everything they loved about the original while offering new depths of insight. For new readers, it stands on its own as a powerful exploration of mental health and the human experience.
While the subject matter can be heavy at times, Baek's warmth and occasional flashes of humor keep the book from feeling oppressive. There's a underlying current of hope throughout—not the saccharine kind that promises easy fixes, but a more grounded hope that comes from facing our struggles head-on and choosing to keep going anyway.
Final Thoughts
"I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki: Further Conversations with My Psychiatrist" is a beautifully written, deeply moving memoir that tackles difficult subjects with grace and authenticity. Baek Se-hee's willingness to share her vulnerabilities creates a powerful reading experience that's likely to stay with you long after you've turned the final page.
This book is recommended for:
Anyone struggling with mental health issues who wants to feel less alone
Readers interested in personal growth and self-reflection
Those curious about the therapeutic process
Anyone who appreciates raw, honest storytelling
Baek Se-hee's voice is an important one in the ongoing conversation about mental health. By sharing her story, she not only helps herself but also contributes to breaking down the stigma surrounding these issues. As she writes in the afterword:
"I hope for the day when those who are unwell in the heart can get medical help as a matter of course and not be stigmatised for it or have their problems reduced by the people around them to evidence of weak will. When the wounds of the mind and soul shall carry the same weight of seriousness as the wounds of the body."
With this book, Baek takes another step towards making that hope a reality.
Life is messy, complicated, and often painfully mundane. We wake up, we go about our days, we struggle, we find moments of joy, and then we do it all over again. For those battling mental health issues, this cycle can feel especially grueling. In her poignant follow-up memoir, Baek Se-hee continues to lay bare her innermost thoughts and feelings as she navigates the ups and downs of living with dysthymia and anxiety.
"I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki: Further Conversations with My Psychiatrist" picks up where Baek's bestselling debut left off, offering readers an intimate look at her ongoing therapy sessions and personal reflections. Through raw, honest dialogue and introspection, Baek grapples with questions of self-worth, identity, and what it means to truly heal.
A Familiar Voice, Deeper Insights
For readers of Baek's first book, her voice will feel comfortingly familiar—self-deprecating, introspective, and often darkly humorous. She has a knack for articulating complex emotions in relatable ways, like when she describes her fluctuating moods: "Just because it's a good day, that doesn't mean I feel like it's great to be alive."
But there's also a sense that Baek has grown since we last heard from her. Her insights feel sharper, her self-awareness more developed. She's still struggling, but she's also learning to recognize her progress and give herself credit for small victories.
The Ongoing Nature of Mental Health
One of the most powerful aspects of this book is how it portrays mental health recovery as an ongoing process rather than a clear-cut journey from "sick" to "cured." Baek is candid about her setbacks and moments of despair, but she's also able to recognize her growth:
"I used to have moments where I thought, 'I really like myself today', but now I find myself thinking, 'I don't think I like myself today.' Which means, I now normally like myself, and the times I don't like myself are the exception! I think this is progress."
This nuanced portrayal feels refreshingly honest in a world that often expects neat, tidy narratives of overcoming adversity.
Exploring Universal Themes
While the book is deeply personal, Baek touches on themes that will resonate with many readers:
1. The desire for external validation
Baek grapples with her need for approval from others, reflecting on how this impacts her self-esteem and relationships.
2. Body image and societal pressures
She candidly discusses her struggles with weight and appearance, questioning the cultural forces that shape our perceptions of beauty.
3. The search for meaning and purpose
Throughout the book, Baek wrestles with feelings of emptiness and the desire to find passion and direction in life.
4. The complexities of human relationships
From family dynamics to friendships to romantic partnerships, Baek explores the joys and challenges of connecting with others.
A Window into the Therapeutic Process
One of the most fascinating aspects of "I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki" is how it provides insight into the therapeutic process itself. Through transcripts of Baek's sessions with her psychiatrist, readers get a fly-on-the-wall view of how therapy actually works. We see the gentle probing, the moments of breakthrough, and even the occasional frustrations.
This demystification of therapy feels important, especially in cultures where mental health treatment still carries stigma. Baek's openness about her experiences may encourage others to seek help when they need it.
Growth and Self-Acceptance
While Baek doesn't pretend to have all the answers, there's a clear arc of growth throughout the book. She learns to be kinder to herself, to challenge her negative thought patterns, and to find value in her own unique perspective on the world.
One particularly touching moment comes when Baek realizes she no longer hates herself:
"The biggest gain from my treatment and publishing my book has been the fact that I no longer hate myself. I continue to accept the little bits and fragments of myself that my eyes and mind perceive and try to stop the horrible things that I would once say to myself."
This hard-won self-acceptance feels like a genuine triumph, even as Baek acknowledges that her journey is far from over.
A Unique Literary Voice
Baek's writing style is distinctive and engaging. She has a gift for vivid metaphors that bring her inner world to life. When describing her tendency to spiral into negative thoughts, she writes: "I don't want to rush up the stairs only to tire myself out in the middle and roll back down to the bottom."
Her prose can be lyrical and introspective one moment, then bracingly direct the next. This creates a reading experience that feels authentic to the unpredictable nature of our thoughts and emotions.
Cultural Context and Universal Appeal
While the book is deeply rooted in Baek's experiences as a young Korean woman, the themes she explores are universal. That said, readers unfamiliar with Korean culture may find some interesting insights into societal pressures and expectations specific to that context.
Translator Anton Hur deserves credit for capturing the nuances of Baek's voice in English, preserving both her vulnerability and her wry sense of humor.
Not Just Another Self-Help Book
It's important to note that "I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki" is not a traditional self-help book. Baek doesn't offer easy solutions or step-by-step guides to happiness. Instead, she provides something arguably more valuable: companionship on the often-lonely journey of self-discovery and healing.
By sharing her story with such unflinching honesty, Baek creates a sense of connection. Readers struggling with similar issues may find comfort in knowing they're not alone, while those who haven't experienced depression or anxiety firsthand can gain a deeper understanding of what it's like to live with these conditions.
A Worthy Sequel
For fans of Baek's first book, this sequel delivers everything they loved about the original while offering new depths of insight. For new readers, it stands on its own as a powerful exploration of mental health and the human experience.
While the subject matter can be heavy at times, Baek's warmth and occasional flashes of humor keep the book from feeling oppressive. There's a underlying current of hope throughout—not the saccharine kind that promises easy fixes, but a more grounded hope that comes from facing our struggles head-on and choosing to keep going anyway.
Final Thoughts
"I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki: Further Conversations with My Psychiatrist" is a beautifully written, deeply moving memoir that tackles difficult subjects with grace and authenticity. Baek Se-hee's willingness to share her vulnerabilities creates a powerful reading experience that's likely to stay with you long after you've turned the final page.
This book is recommended for:
Anyone struggling with mental health issues who wants to feel less alone
Readers interested in personal growth and self-reflection
Those curious about the therapeutic process
Anyone who appreciates raw, honest storytelling
Baek Se-hee's voice is an important one in the ongoing conversation about mental health. By sharing her story, she not only helps herself but also contributes to breaking down the stigma surrounding these issues. As she writes in the afterword:
"I hope for the day when those who are unwell in the heart can get medical help as a matter of course and not be stigmatised for it or have their problems reduced by the people around them to evidence of weak will. When the wounds of the mind and soul shall carry the same weight of seriousness as the wounds of the body."
With this book, Baek takes another step towards making that hope a reality.
July 16, 2025
Cuando un libro te toca en el momento justo, se convierte en algo más que un libro: se vuelve un espejo, un compañero, incluso una especie de salvavidas. Eso fue lo que me pasó con la primera parte de este libro. Llegó en el momento justo y encontré consuelo en la manera en la que se atrevía a hablar sobre salud mental. Por desgracia esta segunda parte no ha tenido el mismo efecto.
No hay duda de que trata temas importantes: la recuperación, la identidad, la presión social… Pero esta vez siento que no han recibido la atención que merecen. Me ha parecido que empiezan conversaciones importantes solo para dejarlas en el aire. Ha sido frustrante. Esperaba más profundidad.
También ha sido muy incómodo para mí como se abordan los temas de la imagen corporal, las dietas, el ejercicio y la "mejora personal". Impacta ver cómo un/a profesional de la salud mental valida decisiones que parecen bastante problemáticas.
A pesar de todo se nota que la autora mantiene la autoconciencia que ya destacaba en el primer libro, y en ocasiones hay frases que resuenan. Esos momentos, aunque pocos, me han recordado por qué conecté con su escritura en la primera parte.
No sé si el libro pierde fuerza por la traducción, por la edición o por el cambio de etapa en la vida de la autora.
No hay duda de que trata temas importantes: la recuperación, la identidad, la presión social… Pero esta vez siento que no han recibido la atención que merecen. Me ha parecido que empiezan conversaciones importantes solo para dejarlas en el aire. Ha sido frustrante. Esperaba más profundidad.
También ha sido muy incómodo para mí como se abordan los temas de la imagen corporal, las dietas, el ejercicio y la "mejora personal". Impacta ver cómo un/a profesional de la salud mental valida decisiones que parecen bastante problemáticas.
A pesar de todo se nota que la autora mantiene la autoconciencia que ya destacaba en el primer libro, y en ocasiones hay frases que resuenan. Esos momentos, aunque pocos, me han recordado por qué conecté con su escritura en la primera parte.
No sé si el libro pierde fuerza por la traducción, por la edición o por el cambio de etapa en la vida de la autora.
August 14, 2025
O să încep acest review cu un paragraf din carte, cu care sunt de acord în totalitate.
"Îmi doresc să trăiesc într-o lume în care oamenii care suferă sufletește să poată merge la spital la fel de firesc cum merg la doctor pentru o problemă fizică, fără să fie priviți cu reticență sau dezavantajați în vreun fel. Sper ca, într-o zi, rănile sufletului să fie privite cu aceeași seriozitate ca rănile corpului."
Mi-a plăcut mult mai mult acest volum. Probabil și pentru faptul că m-am regăsit de multe ori și am putut simți vulnerabilitatea autoarei. De data aceasta am fost mai conectată cu autoarea și mi-a plăcut să văd o evoluție pe plan emoțional și faptul că a terminat totul într-o nuanță pozitivă.
Chiar sper ca această carte să ofere alinare sufletească (oricât de puțin) cititorilor.
"Îmi doresc să trăiesc într-o lume în care oamenii care suferă sufletește să poată merge la spital la fel de firesc cum merg la doctor pentru o problemă fizică, fără să fie priviți cu reticență sau dezavantajați în vreun fel. Sper ca, într-o zi, rănile sufletului să fie privite cu aceeași seriozitate ca rănile corpului."
Mi-a plăcut mult mai mult acest volum. Probabil și pentru faptul că m-am regăsit de multe ori și am putut simți vulnerabilitatea autoarei. De data aceasta am fost mai conectată cu autoarea și mi-a plăcut să văd o evoluție pe plan emoțional și faptul că a terminat totul într-o nuanță pozitivă.
Chiar sper ca această carte să ofere alinare sufletească (oricât de puțin) cititorilor.
April 23, 2021
Nah buku kedua ini lebih fokus membahas renungan penulis atas penyakitnya, penyebab depresi, dan cara atau jalan yang ia tempuh untuk pulih dari penyakitnya.
Bacaan ini tuh sebenarnya punya effect yang besar bagi mereka yang sedang mengalami depresi, tetapi bingung atau malah takut untuk menemui dokter. Mereka takut stigma yang diberikan orang-orang sekitar malah memperburuk keadaannya. Depresi bukan seperti sakit kepala yang mudah diobati. Depresi butuh pengobatan yang tepat, baik itu dari medis ataupun dari orang-orang sekitar penderita.
Bacaan seperti ini juga perlu untuk dibaca oleh siapapun selain penderita, karena dari kita lah "obat" yang sebenarnya mereka butuhkan. Aku suka dengan tema kesehatan mental yang diangkat oleh penulis. Dunia akhir-akhir ini semakin kejam. Semakin hambar perihal etika. Bisa dihitung jari kebahagian yang bisa didapat dari hiruk pikuk lelah dunia.
Bacaan ini tuh sebenarnya punya effect yang besar bagi mereka yang sedang mengalami depresi, tetapi bingung atau malah takut untuk menemui dokter. Mereka takut stigma yang diberikan orang-orang sekitar malah memperburuk keadaannya. Depresi bukan seperti sakit kepala yang mudah diobati. Depresi butuh pengobatan yang tepat, baik itu dari medis ataupun dari orang-orang sekitar penderita.
Bacaan seperti ini juga perlu untuk dibaca oleh siapapun selain penderita, karena dari kita lah "obat" yang sebenarnya mereka butuhkan. Aku suka dengan tema kesehatan mental yang diangkat oleh penulis. Dunia akhir-akhir ini semakin kejam. Semakin hambar perihal etika. Bisa dihitung jari kebahagian yang bisa didapat dari hiruk pikuk lelah dunia.
September 17, 2020
Dari beberapa review yg aku baca mengenai buku ini, ada baiknya penerbit mencantumkan peringatan bahwa mengandung konten self-harm dan attempt to suicide.
Buku ini menurutku lebih berani dalam mengungkapkan apa yg dirasakan penulis selama berproses. Proses penerimaan dirinya untuk selama menjalani pengobatan pun tidak luput dari pemilihan keputusan penulis untuk mengikuti saran psikiater atau menolaknya.
Sangat suka bukunya, aku berharap banyak orang diluar sana yg membutuhkan pertolongan batin untuk berkaca dalam cerita ini untuk lebih peduli dengan kondisi batin mereka masing2.
Terima kasih
Buku ini menurutku lebih berani dalam mengungkapkan apa yg dirasakan penulis selama berproses. Proses penerimaan dirinya untuk selama menjalani pengobatan pun tidak luput dari pemilihan keputusan penulis untuk mengikuti saran psikiater atau menolaknya.
Sangat suka bukunya, aku berharap banyak orang diluar sana yg membutuhkan pertolongan batin untuk berkaca dalam cerita ini untuk lebih peduli dengan kondisi batin mereka masing2.
Terima kasih
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 18, 2024
Ah yes my yearly reminder that Stella Maris ain’t shit
Read
August 22, 2024""In the middle of the editorial meeting, I suddenly had a thought that I was simply going to keep ageing like this, keep competing in meetings like this, and the prospect was too horrendous to contemplate.""
--from the book
This sequel from the author is still a raw, intimate disclosure of her struggles with self-esteem, extreme self-consciousness and self-harm that were exacerbated by pressures regarding looks, weight, accomplishments, and purpose
--from the book
This sequel from the author is still a raw, intimate disclosure of her struggles with self-esteem, extreme self-consciousness and self-harm that were exacerbated by pressures regarding looks, weight, accomplishments, and purpose
October 18, 2025
umarım huzur bulmuştur yazar
Read
December 22, 2025EDIT: I found out this author passed away and has made me quite sad
I saw someone say they dont rate biographies and ive decided to do the same. theres something uncomfy about slapping on a star rating to a personal story someone has shared.
what I will do is say I really enjoyed this read. I saw small parts of myself and similarities thinking processes and conversions ive had with my therapist. there was also lots in this book i couldn't understand or empathise with but still found insightful and enjoyable to read
I saw someone say they dont rate biographies and ive decided to do the same. theres something uncomfy about slapping on a star rating to a personal story someone has shared.
what I will do is say I really enjoyed this read. I saw small parts of myself and similarities thinking processes and conversions ive had with my therapist. there was also lots in this book i couldn't understand or empathise with but still found insightful and enjoyable to read
October 21, 2025
Well over a year ago I was at my lowest, regarding my mental health, and I had read I want to die but I want to eat tteokbokki long before that, and it had helped, offering advice on how to improve life dealing with depression and such. I didn't know if reading the second book would be helpful, but it couldn't be much worse, right?
Well, it was actually incredibly liberating being able to read some of my darkest thoughts put to paper, it felt less isolating, which anyone who has suffered from depression knows is one of the hardest parts, you want to get better, but you're unable to, and even people that want to help sometimes end up hurting you the most. This book was a lifeline for me, and for that, I am eternally grateful. When I saw the news of Baek Sehee's passing I was distraught, and then my mind started spiraling bringing back unfortunate memories and questions along the lines of "does it ever gets better or is this just the calm in the eye of the hurricane, before it forcefully sways you away again?" I don't know the circumstances of her passing, but it was reassuring to hear she was a donor and helped to save lives. I just hope she knew how much impact she had on so many live including my own, I guess that's the point.
Original review, read July 2024
I read the first book last year, and though I could relate to some of her experiences, I felt the book was light and hopeful, and it gave great advice: some exercises that people could do to improve their mood, or a different approach to life. Things like that.
I read this one back in July when i need it it the most, and it didn't went exactly as I expected it. This time around I was fully related to her experiences, that had grown darker and heavier since the first installment. I cried at the recognition of some of my most shameful thoughts written and layed out in front of me, but I wasn't the writer, I couldn't be, because I wouldn't even dare to tell them to myself.
This time around there weren't effective exercises, magical advices that would make the darkness fade, but at the same time the sheer acknowledge of these feelings was enough to push through and finish the book with a somewhat comforting feeling of not being alone in this.
I can imagine very well how hard it was for the author to expose herself quite vulnerable like that, and I hope she knows how necessary her words are.
I hope anyone who needs this book finds it.
Well, it was actually incredibly liberating being able to read some of my darkest thoughts put to paper, it felt less isolating, which anyone who has suffered from depression knows is one of the hardest parts, you want to get better, but you're unable to, and even people that want to help sometimes end up hurting you the most. This book was a lifeline for me, and for that, I am eternally grateful. When I saw the news of Baek Sehee's passing I was distraught, and then my mind started spiraling bringing back unfortunate memories and questions along the lines of "does it ever gets better or is this just the calm in the eye of the hurricane, before it forcefully sways you away again?" I don't know the circumstances of her passing, but it was reassuring to hear she was a donor and helped to save lives. I just hope she knew how much impact she had on so many live including my own, I guess that's the point.
Original review, read July 2024
I read the first book last year, and though I could relate to some of her experiences, I felt the book was light and hopeful, and it gave great advice: some exercises that people could do to improve their mood, or a different approach to life. Things like that.
I read this one back in July when i need it it the most, and it didn't went exactly as I expected it. This time around I was fully related to her experiences, that had grown darker and heavier since the first installment. I cried at the recognition of some of my most shameful thoughts written and layed out in front of me, but I wasn't the writer, I couldn't be, because I wouldn't even dare to tell them to myself.
This time around there weren't effective exercises, magical advices that would make the darkness fade, but at the same time the sheer acknowledge of these feelings was enough to push through and finish the book with a somewhat comforting feeling of not being alone in this.
I can imagine very well how hard it was for the author to expose herself quite vulnerable like that, and I hope she knows how necessary her words are.
I hope anyone who needs this book finds it.
January 14, 2021
This review is taken from my IG account @descanto
Baek Se-hee was very courageous for being able to write the depression she experienced and what she has been through. Her life was uneasy, had a complicated relationship with her parents and the sister. Meanwhile her personal relationship with the people around her esp her friends and boyfriend was falling apart. Over thinking, anxiety, and lack of confidence coloured her days. She ended up as an unhappy creature. Thus she recorded her treatment with the psychiatrist, wrote them down and compiled them into a book. Most of the stories recorded in the book don't mention what the author has gone through but refer to the depression she has. An Indonesian psychiatrist later specifies it as persistent depressive disorder or dysthymia.
I personally like Siapa Yang Datang ke Pemakamanku better because that book somehow is more encouraging than this one. Baek Se-hee circled on the same problems on and on and after reading it for a while, it’s getting too monotone for me. I think she can use that space to encourage people better - not only telling and retelling.
Yet I think the book is interesting because I somehow can relate myself to what she has been through. I was a timid person and I was (in the past) a type of person who would need other people’s affirmation to what I was doing and being. I was always different. When other children grow up playing barbies, I would go on reading Enyd Blyton. Growing up, I spent most of my time alone in the library catching up with good grades while other girls were busy putting the make up on and bragging about the boys they dated. I was a straight As students and the teachers love me but I was emotionally dull and dependent to others. Simply because I was always in the urge to be in a crowd. It was exhausting for me to please others and to live based on other people’s expectation. In the end, I realised that none knows the real me except myself nor will love or respect me if I couldn't respect or love myself. Living happily and peacefully means living without an outrageous expectation, to respect myself and to love the woman in me.The key to happiness that I’ve found (Baek Se-hee also) was to embrace ourselves unconditionally.
Baek Se-hee was very courageous for being able to write the depression she experienced and what she has been through. Her life was uneasy, had a complicated relationship with her parents and the sister. Meanwhile her personal relationship with the people around her esp her friends and boyfriend was falling apart. Over thinking, anxiety, and lack of confidence coloured her days. She ended up as an unhappy creature. Thus she recorded her treatment with the psychiatrist, wrote them down and compiled them into a book. Most of the stories recorded in the book don't mention what the author has gone through but refer to the depression she has. An Indonesian psychiatrist later specifies it as persistent depressive disorder or dysthymia.
I personally like Siapa Yang Datang ke Pemakamanku better because that book somehow is more encouraging than this one. Baek Se-hee circled on the same problems on and on and after reading it for a while, it’s getting too monotone for me. I think she can use that space to encourage people better - not only telling and retelling.
Yet I think the book is interesting because I somehow can relate myself to what she has been through. I was a timid person and I was (in the past) a type of person who would need other people’s affirmation to what I was doing and being. I was always different. When other children grow up playing barbies, I would go on reading Enyd Blyton. Growing up, I spent most of my time alone in the library catching up with good grades while other girls were busy putting the make up on and bragging about the boys they dated. I was a straight As students and the teachers love me but I was emotionally dull and dependent to others. Simply because I was always in the urge to be in a crowd. It was exhausting for me to please others and to live based on other people’s expectation. In the end, I realised that none knows the real me except myself nor will love or respect me if I couldn't respect or love myself. Living happily and peacefully means living without an outrageous expectation, to respect myself and to love the woman in me.The key to happiness that I’ve found (Baek Se-hee also) was to embrace ourselves unconditionally.
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