Raising Gender-Confident Kids: Helping Kids Embrace Their God-Given Design

by Dr. Jeff Myers, Dr. Kathy Koch

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian

176 pages

Published July 29, 2025

Reviews

[Tri · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sadly, this book simply echos many of the other issues I’ve mentioned in other religious-focused anti-trans literature. Lisa Littman’s ‘survey’ is the biggest crutch here, and there’s significant misgivings for who trans people are and how they feel about transitioning, gender, misogyny, and other topics.

The book pleads that the topic is simply a matter of opinion, however I would argue that if that ‘opinion’ takes away people’s healthcare, their ability to engage in public life, and forces them to be even more marginalized, is it really only opinions?

It seems that everybody wants to have an opinion about trans people without ever talking with trans people for their input, or at the very least gathering info on what they want in their own lives. It’s annoying that people who aren’t trans feel emboldened to talk about something they clearly only have cursory knowledge of, given that this book is virtually the exact same as many others I’ve already read.

[Lisha · Rating 1 out of 5]

Fyi, I did some research and found that Kathy Koch holds a PhD in reading and cognition, and Jeff Myers holds a PhD in philosophy. Nothing about development/parenting. They are abusing their PhD title to sound more credible to sell hateful, harmful garbage.

[Jordan Slater · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would encourage parents with children of any age to read this book, especially children who still live at home. I appreciate the amount of statistics paired with biblical truth. Countless resources, conversation points, and prayer guides listed !! Truly so good.

[Emily Snooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another fabulous read for this day and age of parenting children surrounded by identity wars. I loved the data, the practical teachings for parents and the encouraging dialogue throughout about Gods good design for gender and sex.

[Tori · Rating 2 out of 5]

When this book JUST focuses on how to talk to kids, it’s pretty decent. Like I actually really enjoyed some points it made. I think it would be a decent guide for helping parents have open conversations with their children.

But it’s clear they did zero research from the other point of view. They CLAIM ideas are our enemy, not people. But every sentence about “transgenderism” (which is not a word, because there is not one unifying transgender ideology) or anyone who’s trans-affirming accuses them of intentional maliciousness and manipulation. It’s aggressive in its Us vs Them posture and stirring up the culture war persecution mindset. This further increases the divide between a trans-person and the church, othering them and assigning ill-intentions.

It also only BRIEFLY owns that the church contributed to the current gender confusion, and it does so outside of the entire chapter dedicated to the “seven causes” that have made kids confused today. There’s a long history and many excellent books on how the church created and perpetuated most of our problematic gender stereotypes - ones the book agrees are problematic!

It also claims to push back on gender stereotypes while simultaneously reinforcing them in the two chapters about raising “gender-confident” sons or daughters. The authors claim the narrative of “boy slays dragon and wins the girl” is biblical and encourages parents to “unleash the warrior” and other stereotypes for boys. The chapter for girls was, thankfully, written by another couple and I think it could likely be helpful for parents.

The idea that God created us on purpose and didn’t make a mistake - honestly, that preached to me individually. I appreciated the connection between God as creator and our gender as missional.

Last complaint - In the end, it points out a proven connection between those on the autism spectrum and a proclivity to identify as trans. The authors then make an unkind guess as to why that connection is there. Again, it’s clear that any research done was only from one point of view, and thusly the tone when discussing any trans-identifying persons is off-putting and dangerous.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

The content of the book was pretty good. My only gripe is with the presentation. I couldn't find a formal scale to measure the book against, but the book felt like it was written to an elementary or middle school reading level.

The authors did constantly point to Jesus and helping our children find their identity and worth in Him. Additionally the book addressed real scenarios that children and parents will face as this world becomes more corrupt. I personally found the greatest value in the FAQ, but I also know that other readers will greater value elsewhere in the book.

Overall I think this is a useful book for all parents, and the younger the children, the more value it will have.

[Ashly Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heard about this book on the M is for Mama podcast and hurried to the website to get my copy. The book is meticulously arranged and crystal clear to the point of repetition at times. A super good, concise resource for handling the confusion and fear-mongering permeating gender-identity in our culture.

I have two very small children and will say this gave me a few things to think about but will probably be more helpful when my kids are a bit older. However, aside from not having a ton for really little kids (which makes sense) the book does provide a wealth of information for all other ages and situations.

Definitely glad to have this in my library.

[• StefflesReads • · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly an excellent parenting book. It’s about so much more than just gender confidence. The principles are excellent parenting tools and the focus of the book is on the health and wellbeing of the child. The authors clearly have a high regard for children and that comes through brilliantly in the way they describe children’s needs and desires and how to meet those as a parent. If you find yourself asking, how can I develop an excellent, life long relationship with my children, what do my children need at every stage of life, and how can I raise confident, capable children then this book is definitely for you.

[Jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

“If your worldview tells you that you are the center of reality, you’ll feel pressure to make every decision based on popularity, beauty, or performance. In our work with young adults, we’ve seen the devastating ways false worldviews lead to stress, anxiety, selfish priorities, and feelings of inferiority or judgmentalism.”

“Without a foundation in absolute truth, the rising generation is falling for propaganda.”

[Shonsee Carman · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a world filled with confusion, we need to help the kids in our lives have confidence in who God created them to be as male and female. This book is a resource for how we can have open conversations with our children. It is ideal for people who have or work with elementary-aged through high school kids.

Kathy Koch was interviewed on one of my favorite podcasts last year. I love what she is doing with her ministry, Celebrate Kids, where she “helps audiences grasp the life-giving truth that everyone is smart, that God meets every person’s core needs, and that growth happens best within healthy relationships” (https://celebratekids.com/about-ck).

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great resource for parents! If you struggle to find the right words to talk with your kids, whether it’s about gender or any topic that might be uncomfortable, Koch and Myers have multiple scripts that will give you the words to start a meaningful conversation. I love the enthusiasm they show for how God made us; we are made with a purpose and that truth is a huge part of what we want to pass on to the next generation!

[Susie · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's so much here to read and know so I recommend getting a physical copy. The authors did a great job showing how to apply a Biblical worldview to an important and difficult real-life issue.

[Pili · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very helpful book... I wish I could read more!

[Andy Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on gender.

[Becky Filipek · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nicely put together, simple, and digestible. This little book will be helpful for Christians parents trying to help their children navigate life as male and female.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Follows the Bible with practical and real answers to the tough questions

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

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[Bethany Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book addresses an important topic and brings up a lot of good points, like why gender confusion has become so prevalent, how to have good conversations with kids about gender, and the 5 fundamental needs that all kids (and humans in general) have. It just wasn’t the most engaging style of writing for me.