What do you think?
Rate this book
به استقبال ناخواندهها: از جان و دل زیستن در جهانی رنجور
به استقبالِ ناخواندهها شامل آموزههایی دربارۀ معنای حقیقی کارما و شناخت خوبیهای ذاتی خودمان و دیگران است. پِما چودرن، در این کتاب برایمان از تبدیل سختیها به فرصتی برای رشد میگوید، اینکه چطور خودمان را از شر وصلههای پوچ و توخالیای خلاص کنیم که انسانها را از هم دور میکنند. او راهنمایی گامبهگام برای مراقبه در اختیارمان میگذارد تا به کمک آن نور را به تاریکیهای زندگیمان بتابانیم.
184 pages, Paperback
First published October 8, 2019
1452 people are currently reading
7687 people want to read
About the author
Pema Chödrön
189 books5,452 followersAni Pema Chödrön (Deirdre Blomfield-Brown) is an American Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition, closely associated with the Kagyu school and the Shambhala lineage.
She attended Miss Porter's School in Connecticut and graduated from the University of California at Berkeley. She taught as an elementary school teacher for many years in both New Mexico and California. Pema has two children and three grandchildren.
While in her mid-thirties, she traveled to the French Alps and encountered Lama Chime Rinpoche, with whom she studied for several years. She became a novice nun in 1974 while studying with Lama Chime in London. His Holiness the Sixteenth Karmapa came to England at that time, and Ani Pema received her ordination from him.
Ani Pema first met her root guru, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, in 1972. Lama Chime encouraged her to work with Trungpa, and it was with him that she ultimately made her most profound connection, studying with him from 1974 until his death in 1987. At the request of the Sixteenth Karmapa, she received the full bikshuni ordination in the Chinese lineage of Buddhism in 1981 in Hong Kong.
Ani Pema served as the director of the Karma Dzong, in Boulder, CO, until moving in 1984 to rural Cape Breton, Nova Scotia to be the director of Gampo Abbey. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche gave her explicit instructions on establishing this monastery for western monks and nuns.
Ani Pema currently teaches in the United States and Canada and plans for an increased amount of time in solitary retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche.
She attended Miss Porter's School in Connecticut and graduated from the University of California at Berkeley. She taught as an elementary school teacher for many years in both New Mexico and California. Pema has two children and three grandchildren.
While in her mid-thirties, she traveled to the French Alps and encountered Lama Chime Rinpoche, with whom she studied for several years. She became a novice nun in 1974 while studying with Lama Chime in London. His Holiness the Sixteenth Karmapa came to England at that time, and Ani Pema received her ordination from him.
Ani Pema first met her root guru, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, in 1972. Lama Chime encouraged her to work with Trungpa, and it was with him that she ultimately made her most profound connection, studying with him from 1974 until his death in 1987. At the request of the Sixteenth Karmapa, she received the full bikshuni ordination in the Chinese lineage of Buddhism in 1981 in Hong Kong.
Ani Pema served as the director of the Karma Dzong, in Boulder, CO, until moving in 1984 to rural Cape Breton, Nova Scotia to be the director of Gampo Abbey. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche gave her explicit instructions on establishing this monastery for western monks and nuns.
Ani Pema currently teaches in the United States and Canada and plans for an increased amount of time in solitary retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 399 reviews
October 23, 2019
Only by learning to fully embrace all aspects of ourselves--even the most seemingly negative elements of our minds and hearts--will we learn to fully embrace others. Only by discovering the basic goodness in both our lotus and our mud, will we come to see the basic goodness of all living things.
In a world full of polarization, this book can help humans find peace. Welcoming the Unwelcome contains valuable advice from a Buddhist's perspective on overcoming the obstacles we have in life, maintaining compassion towards others, and that failure is an opportunity for growth, rather than something to run from.
This is my first book by Pema Chödrön. At first I thought it might not be a good book for me, but I'm glad I continued reading. Even though the book is written from a Buddhist's perspective, I found it helpful from a Christian standpoint. Anyone can benefit from the down-to-earth advice given in this book. It's positive, uplifting, and full of hope.
Life brings challenging situations and difficult relationships to all of us, but it's such a waste to let them dominate our lives and hold us back. The ultimate goal is to learn how to love one another.
I appreciated that the author shared some of her own personal life experiences, making the book more perceptive. The meditation practices in the back of the book were very helpful too, because this is something I've always struggled with.
I'm looking forward to reading more books by Pema Chödrön, and I'll likely reference this book in the future.
4****
I'd like to thank the publisher, author, and Goodreads for offering this book in a giveaway. This is my own, honest opinion of the book.
In a world full of polarization, this book can help humans find peace. Welcoming the Unwelcome contains valuable advice from a Buddhist's perspective on overcoming the obstacles we have in life, maintaining compassion towards others, and that failure is an opportunity for growth, rather than something to run from.
This is my first book by Pema Chödrön. At first I thought it might not be a good book for me, but I'm glad I continued reading. Even though the book is written from a Buddhist's perspective, I found it helpful from a Christian standpoint. Anyone can benefit from the down-to-earth advice given in this book. It's positive, uplifting, and full of hope.
Life brings challenging situations and difficult relationships to all of us, but it's such a waste to let them dominate our lives and hold us back. The ultimate goal is to learn how to love one another.
I appreciated that the author shared some of her own personal life experiences, making the book more perceptive. The meditation practices in the back of the book were very helpful too, because this is something I've always struggled with.
I'm looking forward to reading more books by Pema Chödrön, and I'll likely reference this book in the future.
4****
I'd like to thank the publisher, author, and Goodreads for offering this book in a giveaway. This is my own, honest opinion of the book.
February 27, 2020
"We are at a time when old systems and ideas are being questioned and falling apart, and there is a great opportunity for something fresh to emerge. I have no idea what that will look like and no preconceptions about how things should turn out, but I do have a strong sense that the time we live in is a fertile ground for training in being open-minded and open-hearted." pg 28
The incomparable Buddhist nun and teacher, Pema Chödrön, interprets the dharma and applies it in the various challenging circumstances of modern life. From polarization to living in the now, comfort zones and boredom, Chödrön challenges practitioners to question their deeply entrenched beliefs by applying new lenses of perception. Change within, she says, and you will see changes in the world.
"Trungpa Rinpoche said that the way to arouse bodhichitta was to "begin with a broken heart." Protecting ourselves from pain - our own and that of others - has never worked. Everybody wants to be free from their suffering, but the majority of us go about it in ways that only make things worse." pg 4
Remembering this shared struggle to find relief from suffering is one of the many ways Chödrön breaks down the problematic mindset of us vs. them. She gives plenty of tips for remembering the sacred within oneself and everyone else. One of the simple ones that stuck with me was, when you see someone suffering, say to yourself, "just like me."
Stuck in traffic but don't want to be? Everyone around you is too. They're just like you. Irritated by developments on the world stage? There are others who are just like you. Have a cold and just want to get some uninterrupted sleep? Think of the thousands out there who are just like you.
"... if we gradually increase our capacity to be present with our pain and the sufferings of the world, we will surprise ourselves with our growing sense of courage. In our practice of cultivating a broken heart, we can incrementally build the strength and skill to handle more and more." pg 6
What I like most about Chödrön's books is that she isn't afraid to talk about how she has stumbled with the various teachings in her own life. She takes a clear look at her foibles and, instead of hiding them where no one else can see them, she uses her failings to propel herself and others forward.
For example, Chödrön relates how, when she first became the director of an abbey in Nova Scotia, she thought the kitchen was a disaster. She put all of these rules in place to organize and clean the kitchen, yet it was never good enough. She confesses going down to the kitchen at night after everyone was asleep in order to organize the drawers without their knowledge. Yet even with all of those struggles, the kitchen remained as it was.
So, instead of fighting it further, she relaxed into the belief that the problem was not with the kitchen or anyone in it, but her own perception of the kitchen.
"I said to myself, "I don't care if the whole place is a mess. I'm going to work on my propensity to label things in negative ways, such as 'dirty' and 'disorganized.' I'm going to pay more attention to how I project my own version of reality onto the world." pg 74
And this self examination altered her view of reality. "Instead of my whole being going into a knot of contraction, I felt relaxed and happy in there. It was a miracle." pg 74
What sorts of things do you view as disorganized kitchens in your own life?
Highly recommended for readers interested in Buddhist teachings or improving the world around them by change from within.
The incomparable Buddhist nun and teacher, Pema Chödrön, interprets the dharma and applies it in the various challenging circumstances of modern life. From polarization to living in the now, comfort zones and boredom, Chödrön challenges practitioners to question their deeply entrenched beliefs by applying new lenses of perception. Change within, she says, and you will see changes in the world.
"Trungpa Rinpoche said that the way to arouse bodhichitta was to "begin with a broken heart." Protecting ourselves from pain - our own and that of others - has never worked. Everybody wants to be free from their suffering, but the majority of us go about it in ways that only make things worse." pg 4
Remembering this shared struggle to find relief from suffering is one of the many ways Chödrön breaks down the problematic mindset of us vs. them. She gives plenty of tips for remembering the sacred within oneself and everyone else. One of the simple ones that stuck with me was, when you see someone suffering, say to yourself, "just like me."
Stuck in traffic but don't want to be? Everyone around you is too. They're just like you. Irritated by developments on the world stage? There are others who are just like you. Have a cold and just want to get some uninterrupted sleep? Think of the thousands out there who are just like you.
"... if we gradually increase our capacity to be present with our pain and the sufferings of the world, we will surprise ourselves with our growing sense of courage. In our practice of cultivating a broken heart, we can incrementally build the strength and skill to handle more and more." pg 6
What I like most about Chödrön's books is that she isn't afraid to talk about how she has stumbled with the various teachings in her own life. She takes a clear look at her foibles and, instead of hiding them where no one else can see them, she uses her failings to propel herself and others forward.
For example, Chödrön relates how, when she first became the director of an abbey in Nova Scotia, she thought the kitchen was a disaster. She put all of these rules in place to organize and clean the kitchen, yet it was never good enough. She confesses going down to the kitchen at night after everyone was asleep in order to organize the drawers without their knowledge. Yet even with all of those struggles, the kitchen remained as it was.
So, instead of fighting it further, she relaxed into the belief that the problem was not with the kitchen or anyone in it, but her own perception of the kitchen.
"I said to myself, "I don't care if the whole place is a mess. I'm going to work on my propensity to label things in negative ways, such as 'dirty' and 'disorganized.' I'm going to pay more attention to how I project my own version of reality onto the world." pg 74
And this self examination altered her view of reality. "Instead of my whole being going into a knot of contraction, I felt relaxed and happy in there. It was a miracle." pg 74
What sorts of things do you view as disorganized kitchens in your own life?
Highly recommended for readers interested in Buddhist teachings or improving the world around them by change from within.
May 21, 2020
I'm having a hard time reading and writing reviews during this time, which is frustrating. I seem to be able to concentrate only on books like this or other non-fiction, politically relevant work which makes me sad. I'd rather escape into fiction but I guess this is how it is for now. For the first time in my life--but then, we've never experienced what's happening now before.
This is perfect for the present times and as applicable, exciting, and inspiration as Chodron always is for me. Through her focus on how each of us can contribute to the creating of a more loving, peaceful time, as well as how we can preserve both our sanity and to remain loving in the face of our own painful feelings and the pain of the world.
Chodron emphasizes the importance of remaining in touch with our raw feelings and our experience without distancing ourselves by acting out to distract or attempt to protect ourselves, to feel better. But those distractions only work briefly, if at all. They often bring negative consequences. Instead, by staying with our feelings and allowing them to lead us into our connection with the rest of the world--not just people but all living creatures--we can experience the interconnection of all life and keep, as she calls it "an open heart".
As with all the Chodron books I've read, her writing leaves me feeling hopeful and with useful suggestions as to how to expand my own practice. She often challenges not my intellectual beliefs but my emotional habits (which is a good thing). Her books are meant to be used, not just passively consumed. She is an inspiration to our capacity for change for the better.
This is perfect for the present times and as applicable, exciting, and inspiration as Chodron always is for me. Through her focus on how each of us can contribute to the creating of a more loving, peaceful time, as well as how we can preserve both our sanity and to remain loving in the face of our own painful feelings and the pain of the world.
Chodron emphasizes the importance of remaining in touch with our raw feelings and our experience without distancing ourselves by acting out to distract or attempt to protect ourselves, to feel better. But those distractions only work briefly, if at all. They often bring negative consequences. Instead, by staying with our feelings and allowing them to lead us into our connection with the rest of the world--not just people but all living creatures--we can experience the interconnection of all life and keep, as she calls it "an open heart".
As with all the Chodron books I've read, her writing leaves me feeling hopeful and with useful suggestions as to how to expand my own practice. She often challenges not my intellectual beliefs but my emotional habits (which is a good thing). Her books are meant to be used, not just passively consumed. She is an inspiration to our capacity for change for the better.
February 16, 2023
“By questioning ourselves… Looking at our virtuous behaviors - it allows us to look at what awakens our heart”.
It’s been said that if we want to learn about our past, we need to look at our present, because they are a reflection of our past .
If we want to learn more about our future, we need to look at our president lives .
When we indulge in resentments, we only reinforce the habit.
Habits develop ‘brain-patterns’ that keep us stuck.
Overcoming a habit is not going to happen overnight.
If we have a tendency to over eat a specific food, it’s unreasonable to think we will completely stop eating that food.
But ….
taking a small step to interfere with our habits, can make a difference…
Little by little…..just by pausing, and being with the experience of ‘dying-to-eat’ those chocolate chip cookies, or whatever the craving is, allows us to begin to put a distance between our immediate usual behavior.
And even if we eat the cookies anyway….we can acknowledge ourselves for taking a little extra time before munching away.
And slowly …..
we begin to create new brain pathways … of healthier habits.
Pema Chodron teaches what she has studied - learned- and practices regularly:
Everything we do - and think matters.
I’ve gravitate towards - wisdom-inspirational type books occasionally. I do this about once a year for short periods….
finding it valuable in supporting my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
Prema Chodron, Tibetan Buddhist, is a wonderful- humble - lovely spiritual teacher — respects nature -values kindness - believes our heart and minds are able to free ourselves of prejudices and biases — and that we can open our senses to what’s happening ‘now’ …. and the ability to see the humanity in even the worse of people.
…Great author -
…Great book -
…Great Audio-listen
…Great benefits…
…Mitzvah points for personal house cleaning.
It’s been said that if we want to learn about our past, we need to look at our present, because they are a reflection of our past .
If we want to learn more about our future, we need to look at our president lives .
When we indulge in resentments, we only reinforce the habit.
Habits develop ‘brain-patterns’ that keep us stuck.
Overcoming a habit is not going to happen overnight.
If we have a tendency to over eat a specific food, it’s unreasonable to think we will completely stop eating that food.
But ….
taking a small step to interfere with our habits, can make a difference…
Little by little…..just by pausing, and being with the experience of ‘dying-to-eat’ those chocolate chip cookies, or whatever the craving is, allows us to begin to put a distance between our immediate usual behavior.
And even if we eat the cookies anyway….we can acknowledge ourselves for taking a little extra time before munching away.
And slowly …..
we begin to create new brain pathways … of healthier habits.
Pema Chodron teaches what she has studied - learned- and practices regularly:
Everything we do - and think matters.
I’ve gravitate towards - wisdom-inspirational type books occasionally. I do this about once a year for short periods….
finding it valuable in supporting my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
Prema Chodron, Tibetan Buddhist, is a wonderful- humble - lovely spiritual teacher — respects nature -values kindness - believes our heart and minds are able to free ourselves of prejudices and biases — and that we can open our senses to what’s happening ‘now’ …. and the ability to see the humanity in even the worse of people.
…Great author -
…Great book -
…Great Audio-listen
…Great benefits…
…Mitzvah points for personal house cleaning.
January 24, 2020
Not my favorite from Pema Chödrön, but a good reminder to face adversity with courage. The premise of the book is to welcome the uncomfortable and hurtful things into your life because ultimately that will make you a more resilient person.
One thing I have been thinking about lately is that the older I get, the harder my problems get. It’s becoming more and more enticing to try to avoid my problems for as long as possible, and to avoid situations which I know will bring me some amount of suffering. But the sad thing about this is, in many cases, I still have to do the thing, and in avoiding and agonizing about it, I often cause myself more pain.
Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Sit with your pain, and recognize that you are not alone in that, because in the end it will help you to become a more compassionate person.
See more of my reviews: Blog // Instagram
One thing I have been thinking about lately is that the older I get, the harder my problems get. It’s becoming more and more enticing to try to avoid my problems for as long as possible, and to avoid situations which I know will bring me some amount of suffering. But the sad thing about this is, in many cases, I still have to do the thing, and in avoiding and agonizing about it, I often cause myself more pain.
Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Sit with your pain, and recognize that you are not alone in that, because in the end it will help you to become a more compassionate person.
See more of my reviews: Blog // Instagram
March 23, 2021
My second Pema book. This one for a book group I joined led by a Buddhist temple in Kentucky. This and When Things Fall Apart really helped me through this very difficult period. Grateful for her insights.
July 15, 2024
This is another little classic by Chodron. I guess she's like a grandma to the world, having seen it all, related to it all without running away, and having found the happiness of being open to whatever comes next. She always talks simply and clearly, in a kind, non-judging way.
January 20, 2020
This book was meh. I was looking forward to it but kind of felt underwhelmed. i have read and loved many of other Pema Chodron's books, but this was a disappointment. I was hoping for more digging into the current "brokenhearted" state of our world, to really grapple with how to live "wholeheartedly." i felt Pema's answers were too easy--like, just show compassion for perpetrators of violence, and take heart that even if ice caps melt, we will be resilient if we practice being mindful of everyone's basic goodness. Like, does that really address the "brokenheartedness" many of us are feeling right now?? Not mine. it felt a lot more like bypassing than her earlier works, and the mentions of social justice issues felt dropped in the text in order to seem current and aware rather than to really engage with in the true pain of oppression and marginalization. There were many teachings in the book that resonate and are helpful reminders but nothing i hadn't encountered before and more powerfully in her earlier books, like Taking the Leap and When Things Fall Apart.
March 19, 2025
Nice read.Offers a practical introduction to some of the principles of Buddhism that can help people better cope with the challenges of everyday life. Enlistment will come to your heart on moments of sufferings if you lean to be conscious at the same time.
رواداری در دنیای دلشکسته
(روشنی تنور دل از تاریکی ها)
"The real meaning of enlightenment is to gaze with undimmed eyes on all darkness."Nikos Kazantzakis
Life happens, no matter what our intentions or plans are. There is good and bad in everything, and there are so many ways we avoid facing the bad or real portions of our life which are unpleasant. This book is full of words of wisdom about addressing those face-down moments, and if not exactly embracing them, then learning how to put them in perspective.
Key words:
"Ego-clinging", polarization and the illusion of separateness, “fundamental groundlessness” and shunyata (emptiness), aversion to failure, tonglen, acceptance of the world “just as it is”...
"Bodhichitta", how to be present with your emotions, not to lose heart, polarity, and different forms of meditations.
"Detox judgment", how to avoid toxin of judging others, there is always room for human error.
"Comfort zones",how to live outside our and to close learning zone.
Chapters entitled "The Fine Art of Failure", "The Practice of Open Awareness", "Life Changes in an Instant", "Imagine Life without Ego", and "How You Label It Is How It Appears", Pema cuts to the heart of how we work with our discursive thinking, our negative thoughts.
پ.ن.
وفا کنیم و ملامت کشیم و خوش باشیم
که در طریقت ما کافریست رنجیدن.
حافظ
رواداری در دنیای دلشکسته
(روشنی تنور دل از تاریکی ها)
"The real meaning of enlightenment is to gaze with undimmed eyes on all darkness."Nikos Kazantzakis
Life happens, no matter what our intentions or plans are. There is good and bad in everything, and there are so many ways we avoid facing the bad or real portions of our life which are unpleasant. This book is full of words of wisdom about addressing those face-down moments, and if not exactly embracing them, then learning how to put them in perspective.
Key words:
"Ego-clinging", polarization and the illusion of separateness, “fundamental groundlessness” and shunyata (emptiness), aversion to failure, tonglen, acceptance of the world “just as it is”...
"Bodhichitta", how to be present with your emotions, not to lose heart, polarity, and different forms of meditations.
"Detox judgment", how to avoid toxin of judging others, there is always room for human error.
"Comfort zones",how to live outside our and to close learning zone.
Chapters entitled "The Fine Art of Failure", "The Practice of Open Awareness", "Life Changes in an Instant", "Imagine Life without Ego", and "How You Label It Is How It Appears", Pema cuts to the heart of how we work with our discursive thinking, our negative thoughts.
پ.ن.
وفا کنیم و ملامت کشیم و خوش باشیم
که در طریقت ما کافریست رنجیدن.
حافظ
August 1, 2019
I adore Pema Chödrön & am grateful to Goodreads & Shambhala Publications for an ARC of Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World.
Such challenging times for humans right now, & although we may be very tired of it all, & overwhelmed with feelings of hopelessness, we can’t withdraw from the world, & our work in it.
Pema, in her personal, powerful way helps lead us through this “brokenhearted world”. She gives us simple instruction to rise above the gloom & doom, & cultivate optimism, build compassion & connection, whether we are working at a universal level, or our own individual journey. I highly recommend it.
Such challenging times for humans right now, & although we may be very tired of it all, & overwhelmed with feelings of hopelessness, we can’t withdraw from the world, & our work in it.
Pema, in her personal, powerful way helps lead us through this “brokenhearted world”. She gives us simple instruction to rise above the gloom & doom, & cultivate optimism, build compassion & connection, whether we are working at a universal level, or our own individual journey. I highly recommend it.
March 25, 2020
(Digital ARC provides by Shambhala Publications via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review)
WOW- Before I write a long review or try to add quotations that I shouldn’t share because the final edition hasn’t been released yet, I want to firmly say that I fully believe that if you read anything by Pema Chodron, let it be this.
Welcoming the Unwelcome has helped me think critically and view the world and the mind in new ways. I loved the section at the end of the book that explains practices that are mentioned throughout the book such as use Tonglen and L. E. S. R.
Reread in 2020- still wow :)
WOW- Before I write a long review or try to add quotations that I shouldn’t share because the final edition hasn’t been released yet, I want to firmly say that I fully believe that if you read anything by Pema Chodron, let it be this.
Welcoming the Unwelcome has helped me think critically and view the world and the mind in new ways. I loved the section at the end of the book that explains practices that are mentioned throughout the book such as use Tonglen and L. E. S. R.
Reread in 2020- still wow :)
November 16, 2019
Classic Pema Chodron. We need her now more than ever!
This book will bring a sense of calm to your heart and mind.
I have to admit, though, that I prefer to listen to her on audio over reading directly.
Hearing her deliver the message resonates more deeply.
This book will be discussed on the Book Cougars podcast.
www.bookcougars.com
This book will bring a sense of calm to your heart and mind.
I have to admit, though, that I prefer to listen to her on audio over reading directly.
Hearing her deliver the message resonates more deeply.
This book will be discussed on the Book Cougars podcast.
www.bookcougars.com
May 21, 2023
Pema Chodron is back with her first book in a handful of years. I am fairly new to the words of Pema Chodron, but I have read several of her books, and love her voice and unique view of the world. She is a Buddhist nun, but she is a woman who has lived a rich full life full of hardship and joy, and her words are down to earth, practical and humble.
Welcoming the Unwelcome is, so far, my favorite of the books I have read by Pema Chodron. I generally don't think too much about where the title of a book is derived, but when I was about 20% into this book I had an "aha" moment - the book is about welcoming and embracing that which we would rather avoid in life and living. Life happens, no matter what our intentions or plans are. There is good and bad in everything, and there are so many ways we avoid facing the bad or real portions of our life which are unpleasant. This book is full of words of wisdom about addressing those face-down moments, and if not exactly embracing them, then learning how to put them in perspective. I made so many highlights of words and thoughts to remember, after awhile I made myself stop. I could highlight the whole book; there are so many insights to remember and to put into my own practice of mindfulness.
There is so much dissension in our world today; fear of everyone and everything, a lack of civility or appreciation for the thoughts and actions of others. This book addresses some of that indirectly; it offers simple ways that we, as citizens in this wondrous world, can learn in order to not fuel fires of anger and fear and to live in peace in our own portion of the universe. This is a book to be read, re-read and to take to heart. It is a perfect balm for the soul; none of us are perfect, and we should not strive to be so. We should only attempt to do the best we can, and put as much good into the world as possible.
Welcoming the Unwelcome is, so far, my favorite of the books I have read by Pema Chodron. I generally don't think too much about where the title of a book is derived, but when I was about 20% into this book I had an "aha" moment - the book is about welcoming and embracing that which we would rather avoid in life and living. Life happens, no matter what our intentions or plans are. There is good and bad in everything, and there are so many ways we avoid facing the bad or real portions of our life which are unpleasant. This book is full of words of wisdom about addressing those face-down moments, and if not exactly embracing them, then learning how to put them in perspective. I made so many highlights of words and thoughts to remember, after awhile I made myself stop. I could highlight the whole book; there are so many insights to remember and to put into my own practice of mindfulness.
There is so much dissension in our world today; fear of everyone and everything, a lack of civility or appreciation for the thoughts and actions of others. This book addresses some of that indirectly; it offers simple ways that we, as citizens in this wondrous world, can learn in order to not fuel fires of anger and fear and to live in peace in our own portion of the universe. This is a book to be read, re-read and to take to heart. It is a perfect balm for the soul; none of us are perfect, and we should not strive to be so. We should only attempt to do the best we can, and put as much good into the world as possible.
September 9, 2019
This is a short little book broken up into tiny chapters that scratch the surface on a variety of issues. It's obviously a book meant more for beginners than for an expert looking for in-depth information on any specific topic, but some of the exercises weren't beginner-level. Though filled with a few useful nuggets, I found the practical suggestions too abstract to be strictly useful. Maybe some of these suggestions were meant to be more theoretical than a step-by-step guide, but I found many of the instructions difficult to follow. I felt like the author would write something like "I'm going to show you how to let go of things. Here's what you do: you simply allow yourself to let go of things. Poof. There, don't you feel better?" And I would be left with so many questions, namely: if I were able to just let go of things by simply willing myself to do so, do you really think I would need this book? That is not a practical guide, at least not for this beginner.
The best parts of the book are those in which the author illustrates an anecdote from her past or a story about a friend. These relatable instances made a lot more sense to me than some of the more flowery, gooey stuff that seems to be present in every self-help type of book. The exercises at the back were a bit easier to handle for me and made a lot more sense than some of the stuff interspersed in the chapters. All in all, I'd recommend the book for someone who is not a total beginner but who perhaps isn't totally foreign to meditation.
I received an ARC of this book through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
The best parts of the book are those in which the author illustrates an anecdote from her past or a story about a friend. These relatable instances made a lot more sense to me than some of the more flowery, gooey stuff that seems to be present in every self-help type of book. The exercises at the back were a bit easier to handle for me and made a lot more sense than some of the stuff interspersed in the chapters. All in all, I'd recommend the book for someone who is not a total beginner but who perhaps isn't totally foreign to meditation.
I received an ARC of this book through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
January 14, 2022
No geral, uma boa introdução a ensinamentos budistas pela ótica de uma monja ocidental. O início do livro é pouco convincente, às vezes até soando ingênuo e superficial. Mas, ao longo da leitura, a voz da autora se torna mais engajadora, e suas ideias ganham um peso maior. Gostei bastante de suas reflexões sobre a transitoriedade das coisas e de suas sugestões práticas sobre como despertar o coração e a mente para benefício próprio e alheio. É bem interessante aprender um pouco mais sobre o budismo e suas práticas, especialmente quando se quer expandir a consciência plena para além de práticas de meditação formais. Um exemplo de ensinamento é o LAIF (Localizar, Abraçar, Interromper e Ficar), que nos instiga a olhar para quaisquer sentimentos incômodos, aceitá-los, desinflar os pensamentos desastrosos e simplesmente ficar com aquilo que nos aflinge, sem julgar, fugir ou reprimir, como costumamos fazer. Obrigado pelo presente, Giu.
January 28, 2023
if you like this review, i now have website: www.michaelkamakana.com
2226a: very good book on buddhism. nothing much I have not before read, but the practice of 'tonglen' sounds fascinating. this is to 'breathe-in' another's suffering and 'breathe-out' comfort, care, starting small, with those nearest, gradually expanding the circle of those afflicted. and the optimistic vision of all humans, without exception, being naturally good and only damaged, distorted, by this our world is positive. I prefer to believe there is no 'human nature', good or bad, but something of 'human aptitude'...
2226a: very good book on buddhism. nothing much I have not before read, but the practice of 'tonglen' sounds fascinating. this is to 'breathe-in' another's suffering and 'breathe-out' comfort, care, starting small, with those nearest, gradually expanding the circle of those afflicted. and the optimistic vision of all humans, without exception, being naturally good and only damaged, distorted, by this our world is positive. I prefer to believe there is no 'human nature', good or bad, but something of 'human aptitude'...
July 28, 2021
This is Nonfiction/Self-help. The author is an American Buddhist nun and I read her book When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times and gave it 5 full stars. It was so so so good. So with that, I was overly excited to get my hands on this one.
Overall, I liked this one. It had a sprinkling of great advice on embracing difficulties and trials, and how to overcome them. But I didn't love this one like I thought I would. I was expecting to feast on this like I did with the other one, and it never quite felt like that for me. I think maybe I need to listen to it again. I also wasn't feeling the narrator on this one. Cassandra Campbell narrated the one I loved...and well, Cassandra is one my favorite narrators. So 3 stars.
Overall, I liked this one. It had a sprinkling of great advice on embracing difficulties and trials, and how to overcome them. But I didn't love this one like I thought I would. I was expecting to feast on this like I did with the other one, and it never quite felt like that for me. I think maybe I need to listen to it again. I also wasn't feeling the narrator on this one. Cassandra Campbell narrated the one I loved...and well, Cassandra is one my favorite narrators. So 3 stars.
August 6, 2019
The message we need to hear in these times of polarization and violence. As always, Pema lights the path to awareness of the basic goodness in ourselves and to work through and rise above the labeling and negativity within us. We then recognize the goodness and see the same vulnerability and confusion in others. She does this by giving examples of her own humanity and times of personal growth with humor along the way. The chapters are short, making it easy to absorb in bits. Grateful for the ARC. I plan to pass it on but first, to take my time reading it again to digest her words while enjoying her company along the way. Highly recommend.
October 24, 2020
I always welcome a book from Pema Chodron and this one is no exception. I listened to the audiobook and thoroughly enjoyed the narrator, but I missed hearing Pema's voice. She is reliably joyful, dependably entertaining and even as she moves into her eighties she is incredibly sharp. I will surely listen to the book again and look forward to the next one.
February 16, 2020
This is now the third Pena Chödrön book I’ve read. I really enjoyed it. Greatly written and implements the Buddhism teachings nicely within the book.
June 23, 2019
"Welcoming the Unwelcome" offers recommendations on how Tibetan Buddhist thoughts and practices can help one cope or even grow from obstacles.
If you're inclined to agree with Chödrön's perspective on the basic goodness of all things, then you're more likely to find this book useful. If you don't, Chödrön spends his little time trying to convince you. This makes sense. After all, her goal isn't to convert you or recruit you into the monastery. Instead, she's trying to demonstrate how hard times or momentary failures can be opportunities for growth.
That having been said, if you're not buying her underlying philosophy, her suggestions may seem nonsensical.
I say all of that to say this: "Welcoming the Unwelcome" can be helpful from a self-help perspective. However, it's less useful as an introduction to Vajrayāna Buddhism.
If you're inclined to agree with Chödrön's perspective on the basic goodness of all things, then you're more likely to find this book useful. If you don't, Chödrön spends his little time trying to convince you. This makes sense. After all, her goal isn't to convert you or recruit you into the monastery. Instead, she's trying to demonstrate how hard times or momentary failures can be opportunities for growth.
That having been said, if you're not buying her underlying philosophy, her suggestions may seem nonsensical.
I say all of that to say this: "Welcoming the Unwelcome" can be helpful from a self-help perspective. However, it's less useful as an introduction to Vajrayāna Buddhism.
January 4, 2021
I've been a longtime fan of Pema's teachings. With all of her books, I like to just pick it up, open to a random page, and then breathe a sigh of relief thanks to her wisdom and guidance. This is certainly a book for these times. And I appreciate that she shares more personally and revealingly here than in her previous books. As a result, I felt a deeper connection to her and her humanness. Yes, I feel her saying, it's all okay, and we're all on this path together.
May 3, 2024
I was reading this text for a class I'm taking, but I can't think of a more relevant book for current events. I was able to take a lot of wisdom from this text, and apply it to current anxious times.
November 29, 2024
Accept the world as it is, accept yourself as you are. When you judge other people to be bad, keeping a vulnerability in your heart to see that you could act that way as well, given different circumstances. Let's see the humanity and all of us and face our own weaknesses without judgment.
We are not able to tell what is "good or bad" in world circumstances. Perspective needs to be wider, and longer.
Polarization, so rampant even in 2019 at publication, and so much worse today as MAGA is rewarded for the strategy, is the societal poison. Separating ourselves from our own true nature, and the only suffering we ourselves can alleviate is not to participate in the polarization. To not let ourselves fall for the hook of being drawn to hate others.
This is still tremendously hard for me. Putin has killed 1 million people and caused a tremendous amount of suffering, and he is unlikely to be punished for it. Honestly, no amount of punishment would be sufficient compensation. What about the CCP for destroying Tibetan Buddhism, Xinjian Quigur culture, creating totalitarian NK, and threatening the freedoms in Taiwan and HK. It feels so wrong for bullies and sadists to exist, for suffering to grow. Yet... it just does. And it will inevitably continue to do so longer than i am here to watch it.
So Chodron says I cannot just ignore it, just I must just accept the reality of it, and also of its impermanence. And then focus on all of the other good that exists everywhere, without just attaching to the suffering.
I am not personally in a place where I can do very much the change is suffering in remote places, much less in my neighborhood. I can only do my part, for myself, and the people I touch. And I am actually responsible for doing my part. Because anything less would be a waste.
"In this very brief time that we have on earth, we have to ask ourselves how we're going to spend our time"
With clear lucid prose, Chodron covers recovery from life shattering moments, by shifting labels and their imputed meaning. So helpful.
We are not able to tell what is "good or bad" in world circumstances. Perspective needs to be wider, and longer.
Polarization, so rampant even in 2019 at publication, and so much worse today as MAGA is rewarded for the strategy, is the societal poison. Separating ourselves from our own true nature, and the only suffering we ourselves can alleviate is not to participate in the polarization. To not let ourselves fall for the hook of being drawn to hate others.
This is still tremendously hard for me. Putin has killed 1 million people and caused a tremendous amount of suffering, and he is unlikely to be punished for it. Honestly, no amount of punishment would be sufficient compensation. What about the CCP for destroying Tibetan Buddhism, Xinjian Quigur culture, creating totalitarian NK, and threatening the freedoms in Taiwan and HK. It feels so wrong for bullies and sadists to exist, for suffering to grow. Yet... it just does. And it will inevitably continue to do so longer than i am here to watch it.
So Chodron says I cannot just ignore it, just I must just accept the reality of it, and also of its impermanence. And then focus on all of the other good that exists everywhere, without just attaching to the suffering.
I am not personally in a place where I can do very much the change is suffering in remote places, much less in my neighborhood. I can only do my part, for myself, and the people I touch. And I am actually responsible for doing my part. Because anything less would be a waste.
"In this very brief time that we have on earth, we have to ask ourselves how we're going to spend our time"
With clear lucid prose, Chodron covers recovery from life shattering moments, by shifting labels and their imputed meaning. So helpful.
July 4, 2025
این کتاب خیلی خیلی به من که دوس دارم ادم پذیراتر و منعطف تری باشم و با مسائل بزرگ زندگیم که بعضی موقع ها واقعا طاقتمو پایین میاره کمک کرد طوری که بعضی از فصل هارو علامت زدم تا دوباره بخونم
نقدایی که دارم این دو رویی و تاب اوردن ادمای به شدت مریض که میخواد یادمون بده رو دوس نداشتم یه جا نویسنده میگه حتی با اونی که حیوون ازاره هم خوب باش😑یا یه جا دیگه انقدر خوش بینانه با همه مسائل برخورد میکنه که میاد میگه استادم گفته حالا یکم واقع بینیم این وسط بد نیست😶
بعد کجا؟؟؟؟ اخرین صفحات کتاب😕
یه جورایی اعتراف میکنه که واقع بین باش یکم خودم میدونم خیلی ساده لوحانه بعضی فصلارو نوشتم دیگه حالا دنیا انقدرم مهربون نیست ضربه میخوری😂😂😂
ولی انقدر خوبی فصلای دیگش زیاده که نتونستم ریت بالا ندم
در اخر خوندن این کتابو راستش به خاطر همون فصلای ساده لوحانش خیلی پیشنهاد نمیکنم به کسی چون باعث میشه تاب اوری پیدا کردن به بعضی جرایانای فکری که تو مملکتمون داره همه چی رو ازمون میگیره رو
رواج بده و خیلی مسائلو که اینهمه شهید پاش دادیمو سفیدشویی کنه
در کل خوندن این کتاب جنبه میخواد نداشته باشی از فردا میخوای هر احمقی رو محترم بشمری در صورتی که همون جریان فکری و ادماش پاش برسه زندت نمیذارن
نخونین خوندین جنبه داشته باشین چون مشخصه قشنگ یه جهان اولیه به تمام معنا بی دغدغه اینو نوشته
نقدایی که دارم این دو رویی و تاب اوردن ادمای به شدت مریض که میخواد یادمون بده رو دوس نداشتم یه جا نویسنده میگه حتی با اونی که حیوون ازاره هم خوب باش😑یا یه جا دیگه انقدر خوش بینانه با همه مسائل برخورد میکنه که میاد میگه استادم گفته حالا یکم واقع بینیم این وسط بد نیست😶
بعد کجا؟؟؟؟ اخرین صفحات کتاب😕
یه جورایی اعتراف میکنه که واقع بین باش یکم خودم میدونم خیلی ساده لوحانه بعضی فصلارو نوشتم دیگه حالا دنیا انقدرم مهربون نیست ضربه میخوری😂😂😂
ولی انقدر خوبی فصلای دیگش زیاده که نتونستم ریت بالا ندم
در اخر خوندن این کتابو راستش به خاطر همون فصلای ساده لوحانش خیلی پیشنهاد نمیکنم به کسی چون باعث میشه تاب اوری پیدا کردن به بعضی جرایانای فکری که تو مملکتمون داره همه چی رو ازمون میگیره رو
رواج بده و خیلی مسائلو که اینهمه شهید پاش دادیمو سفیدشویی کنه
در کل خوندن این کتاب جنبه میخواد نداشته باشی از فردا میخوای هر احمقی رو محترم بشمری در صورتی که همون جریان فکری و ادماش پاش برسه زندت نمیذارن
نخونین خوندین جنبه داشته باشین چون مشخصه قشنگ یه جهان اولیه به تمام معنا بی دغدغه اینو نوشته
February 7, 2025
This is my third or fourth time reading this one, but this time I chose the audio book version which is not read by Pema Chodron but read by Claire Foy. I think I prefer the actual paper book version. But regardless it is an amazing book and a quick read. This time when reading I realized this is the book that helped me find a Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion which is one of my very favorites. I think there is a lot to learn in this short book but as she writes- even if you just get one or two bits of it, it can change things for you. It is just a new way of thinking. I do think each time I read it I learned something else or put two puzzle pieces together. Highly Recommend.
November 4, 2024
Indipendentemente dal credo religioso, penso convintamente che leggere questo libro possa aiutare ogni essere umano.
October 4, 2025
LOVED. This has become like scripture to me
February 9, 2022
Era justo el libro que necesitaba leer en esta época. Llegué a Pema Chödrön gracias a otro libro que me regaló una amiga y conecté con ella inmediatamente. Me encanta cómo, a pesar de ser una maestra con tanta experiencia, Pema Chödrön escribe desde la total humildad. Hay una parte donde dice que antes se juntaba con una amiga para criticar a otras personas y le costó trabajo dejar de hacerlo. Es un ejemplo sencillo, pero me ayudó a sentir que leía a un ser humano y no a un ser perfecto. Y me encanta, en este momento de incertidumbre (a nivel personal pero también global), leer sobre el valor de la compasión. Al final, también hay ejercicios para practicar los conceptos escritos a lo largo del libro.
October 28, 2019
"Only by learning to fully embrace all aspects of ourselves--even the most seemingly negative elements of our minds and hearts--will we learn to fully embrace others. Only by discovering the basic goodness in both our lotus and our mud, will we come to see the basic goodness of all living things."
I love Pema Chödrön. There's something about the way she writes that speaks exactly to me. Her way of communicating with compassion, kindness and vulnerability speak to me and make me feel both less alone and more hopeful. This book is full of reminders that failure is an opportunity for growth and that we don't have to let life's events get to us. We can observe, “as if you’re the sky, allowing all the clouds to pass through you, not rejecting anything that arises in that space,” as Trungpa Rinpoche says.
I need to read books by Pema at least monthly so I can remember some of the down to earth and profound thoughts in her books. They are the exact perspective check I need in my life.
I love Pema Chödrön. There's something about the way she writes that speaks exactly to me. Her way of communicating with compassion, kindness and vulnerability speak to me and make me feel both less alone and more hopeful. This book is full of reminders that failure is an opportunity for growth and that we don't have to let life's events get to us. We can observe, “as if you’re the sky, allowing all the clouds to pass through you, not rejecting anything that arises in that space,” as Trungpa Rinpoche says.
I need to read books by Pema at least monthly so I can remember some of the down to earth and profound thoughts in her books. They are the exact perspective check I need in my life.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 399 reviews