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John Doe Does Not Suck
John Doe is an aspiring author. He's 317 years old (passing as 17) and an expert in almost everything. Unfortunately, his memoir, The Last Vampire, has been rejected by nearly every agent in the business. Nobody wants to read about vampires anymore, he's told. The feelings of rejection that might trigger in an ordinary vampire are nothing compared to John's reaction due to his daily struggles with OCD and anxiety. John lives with vampirovirus but finds it difficult to live with the knowledge he's the last of his kind.
When John enrolls in a criminology course, he's partnered up with Angela Ruiz. With no more training than what she's seen on CSI, Angela convinces John they have an obligation to bring down the Six o'Clock Slasher, a serial killer who's confounded the police for two years. As they fumble through their investigation, John begins to suspect the killer might be a vampire. Will John condemn himself to eternal life as the last of his kind, or will he allow a ruthless killer to go free?
When John enrolls in a criminology course, he's partnered up with Angela Ruiz. With no more training than what she's seen on CSI, Angela convinces John they have an obligation to bring down the Six o'Clock Slasher, a serial killer who's confounded the police for two years. As they fumble through their investigation, John begins to suspect the killer might be a vampire. Will John condemn himself to eternal life as the last of his kind, or will he allow a ruthless killer to go free?
280 pages, Paperback
Published January 20, 2026
3 people are currently reading
31 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 79 reviews
February 8, 2026
3.5 Stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟
This story is unique and different, in a pleasant way. When I read the synopsis I was intrigued and decided to dive right in....and how can you not love a 317 year old vampire whom only wants to be a published author. As John navigates every day life, including work, he also takes up a course in criminology...what can possibly happen right? Nothing like being wrapped up in a serial killer investigation with a partner, Angela Ruiz....will Angela and John be able to figure out whom is the Six o'Clock Slasher...and will John be able to keep it under wraps that he is a vampire....
This story overall was good....
This story is unique and different, in a pleasant way. When I read the synopsis I was intrigued and decided to dive right in....and how can you not love a 317 year old vampire whom only wants to be a published author. As John navigates every day life, including work, he also takes up a course in criminology...what can possibly happen right? Nothing like being wrapped up in a serial killer investigation with a partner, Angela Ruiz....will Angela and John be able to figure out whom is the Six o'Clock Slasher...and will John be able to keep it under wraps that he is a vampire....
This story overall was good....
January 22, 2026
3 – 3.5 stars
John Doe Does Not Suck proves that even a 317‑year‑old immortal with anxiety, OCD, and a memoir nobody wants to read can still have a worse week than you.
John Doe just wants to publish his book and quietly spiral about being the last vampire alive. Instead, he gets dragged into a serial‑killer investigation by Angela, a criminology student whose only real qualification is binge‑watching CSI and having way too much confidence. A CSI superfan who thinks she’s ready to solve a serial killer case. Spoiler: she’s not.
Their investigation is chaotic, messy, and somehow still functional, which is honestly a miracle considering neither of them should be anywhere near a crime scene. Things get even wilder when John starts suspecting the killer might be a vampire, because, of course, his life wasn’t complicated enough already.
The concept is original, quirky, and has all the ingredients for a supernatural mystery with teeth. But I’ll be honest — I found it a little difficult to fall into the rhythm of the book, and it took me longer than expected to engage with the story fully. While the concept is undeniably unique and the standalone format works well, I was left wanting more depth — both in the worldbuilding and in the emotional layers of the characters.
Still, the originality shines, and readers looking for a quirky, offbeat twist on vampire lore will find plenty within the pages.
John Doe Does Not Suck proves that even a 317‑year‑old immortal with anxiety, OCD, and a memoir nobody wants to read can still have a worse week than you.
John Doe just wants to publish his book and quietly spiral about being the last vampire alive. Instead, he gets dragged into a serial‑killer investigation by Angela, a criminology student whose only real qualification is binge‑watching CSI and having way too much confidence. A CSI superfan who thinks she’s ready to solve a serial killer case. Spoiler: she’s not.
Their investigation is chaotic, messy, and somehow still functional, which is honestly a miracle considering neither of them should be anywhere near a crime scene. Things get even wilder when John starts suspecting the killer might be a vampire, because, of course, his life wasn’t complicated enough already.
The concept is original, quirky, and has all the ingredients for a supernatural mystery with teeth. But I’ll be honest — I found it a little difficult to fall into the rhythm of the book, and it took me longer than expected to engage with the story fully. While the concept is undeniably unique and the standalone format works well, I was left wanting more depth — both in the worldbuilding and in the emotional layers of the characters.
Still, the originality shines, and readers looking for a quirky, offbeat twist on vampire lore will find plenty within the pages.
Read
January 21, 2026John Doe Does not Suck is by far the most unique vampire book I have ever read. There’s no gothic romance vibe to this book, John does not have angst like nobody’s business, he hasn’t fallen in love with ye random high school student, and he also isn’t a mindless bloodsucking fiend. He is a nuanced, flawed, likeable, and relatable character. He’s completely believable (aside from the undead blood thing). And his narrative voice is genius.
Having an unlimited amount of time on his hands, John decides to enroll in a nighttime criminology class. Thanks to a school project, he ends up paired with an intrepid, hopeful detective named Angela. She pulls him into a reluctant search for the Six o’Clock Slasher, a serial killer who only operates inside people’s houses at dinnertime. A vampire on a hunt for a serial killer? That’s not something you see every day- ahem, night.
While the premise is interesting, it’s the characters that elevate the book for me. There’s the main character and bloodsucker himself, a vampire who calls himself John Doe. John Doe (a name so silly that everyone immediately discounts him as anything unusual) has OCD and anxiety. Now, I can’t speak of OCD, but I myself have an anxiety disorder, and this author nails their depiction of it. I love good mental health representation in fiction, and this is some of the best. It affects every aspect of his not-quite life. The way he handles it or doesn’t, based on the day, is so well written. I adored John.
Then there’s the surrounding cast. Angela, who is spunky, determined, and caring. Her girlfriend, the Wheelie Boys who seem reminiscent of the Baker Street Irregulars, always knowing more than expected, the neighbor across the way. They all added something to John’s rather small corner of the world, fleshing it out and making it feel fully developed.
The pacing of the book isn’t fast, but it also never drags. It takes the time to establish the “rules” and does so in a creative way. There are brief moments where vampire tropes are defined as MYTH or FACT, based on the world the author has created. I wasn’t sure about these pauses at first, but they ended up really growing on me as they defined the rules of vampirism in this novel without cutting into the narrative for long periods.
I do have to acknowledge the absolute brilliance of John Doe’s attempt to write a vampire book. Ostensibly billed as fiction, it’s the story of his life, told in short segments. I loved it. It also revealed his struggles with writing and shared an inner part of his character. For example, he’d start the story in third person. Then, in a later chapter, he’d decide to try first person instead, and continue part of his backstory in that way. This was done as an interlude at the beginning of the chapters. It was such a clever way to share his backstory.
John Doe Does Not Suck is a fantastic vampire novel that breaks conventions, has excellent mental health rep, and is incredibly entertaining. Don’t sleep on this book.
Thank you to Shadow Dragon Press for providing me with a review copy of this book. My opinions are completely my own.
Full review on my blog: https://wittyandsarcasticbookclub.hom...
Having an unlimited amount of time on his hands, John decides to enroll in a nighttime criminology class. Thanks to a school project, he ends up paired with an intrepid, hopeful detective named Angela. She pulls him into a reluctant search for the Six o’Clock Slasher, a serial killer who only operates inside people’s houses at dinnertime. A vampire on a hunt for a serial killer? That’s not something you see every day- ahem, night.
While the premise is interesting, it’s the characters that elevate the book for me. There’s the main character and bloodsucker himself, a vampire who calls himself John Doe. John Doe (a name so silly that everyone immediately discounts him as anything unusual) has OCD and anxiety. Now, I can’t speak of OCD, but I myself have an anxiety disorder, and this author nails their depiction of it. I love good mental health representation in fiction, and this is some of the best. It affects every aspect of his not-quite life. The way he handles it or doesn’t, based on the day, is so well written. I adored John.
Then there’s the surrounding cast. Angela, who is spunky, determined, and caring. Her girlfriend, the Wheelie Boys who seem reminiscent of the Baker Street Irregulars, always knowing more than expected, the neighbor across the way. They all added something to John’s rather small corner of the world, fleshing it out and making it feel fully developed.
The pacing of the book isn’t fast, but it also never drags. It takes the time to establish the “rules” and does so in a creative way. There are brief moments where vampire tropes are defined as MYTH or FACT, based on the world the author has created. I wasn’t sure about these pauses at first, but they ended up really growing on me as they defined the rules of vampirism in this novel without cutting into the narrative for long periods.
I do have to acknowledge the absolute brilliance of John Doe’s attempt to write a vampire book. Ostensibly billed as fiction, it’s the story of his life, told in short segments. I loved it. It also revealed his struggles with writing and shared an inner part of his character. For example, he’d start the story in third person. Then, in a later chapter, he’d decide to try first person instead, and continue part of his backstory in that way. This was done as an interlude at the beginning of the chapters. It was such a clever way to share his backstory.
John Doe Does Not Suck is a fantastic vampire novel that breaks conventions, has excellent mental health rep, and is incredibly entertaining. Don’t sleep on this book.
Thank you to Shadow Dragon Press for providing me with a review copy of this book. My opinions are completely my own.
Full review on my blog: https://wittyandsarcasticbookclub.hom...
January 27, 2026
John Doe does not suck literally. The neighborhood vampire who is trying to sell a manuscript about his life is a simpleton who would rather die than feed on living beings, however needs blood to survive. And claims to be the last living vampire on earth. In John Doe Does Not Suck the author brings an interesting take on a vampire and whodunit together. There’s things I enjoyed about this book and things I didn’t care for. But just because I didn’t like them doesn’t mean someone else won’t love it.
John isn’t the typical vampire those who are a fan of the genre are used too. He’s pretty much a broke every day guy, with a pet fish. That needs blood to survive that he has a “dealer” for. He works at a diner. It’s when he signs up for a criminology class and a killer’s reemergence is when things get interesting. He wants to figure things out with his class assigned partner Angela but he needs to be smart too. He needs to protect his secret. And to do so he needs to make sure his supply stays stocked and he files his teeth.
When they come across the screen of a murder that is where the real mystery begins.
Will John be able to keep his secret?
Will they solve the crime before actual law enforcement?
Those questions and so many more. The part I didn’t care for was the excerpts of his manuscript. Yes, it brings value to the story. It allows the reader to understand John a little better, but is it needed? That’s my question. Outside of that the author wrote a wonderful story that was different then the everyday vampire fiction one comes across.
John isn’t the typical vampire those who are a fan of the genre are used too. He’s pretty much a broke every day guy, with a pet fish. That needs blood to survive that he has a “dealer” for. He works at a diner. It’s when he signs up for a criminology class and a killer’s reemergence is when things get interesting. He wants to figure things out with his class assigned partner Angela but he needs to be smart too. He needs to protect his secret. And to do so he needs to make sure his supply stays stocked and he files his teeth.
When they come across the screen of a murder that is where the real mystery begins.
Will John be able to keep his secret?
Will they solve the crime before actual law enforcement?
Those questions and so many more. The part I didn’t care for was the excerpts of his manuscript. Yes, it brings value to the story. It allows the reader to understand John a little better, but is it needed? That’s my question. Outside of that the author wrote a wonderful story that was different then the everyday vampire fiction one comes across.
February 6, 2026
"John Doe Does Not Suck" by Kathryn Berla was definitely a great read. This story brings a whole new way of thinking about vampires, shining a light on the hilarity of what it must be like to live for over 300 years. John Doe, our main character, has decided that this is a great new name for himself, which I found awesome and felt set the stage for what I knew would be a gut-wrenching, funny-bone-tickling story about a vampire and his existential crisis. What happens when you think you are the last vampire in the world and are faced with the prospect of never having a friend who lasts? Well, for John, this brings on anxiety attacks as he struggles with his life, including the simple task of caring for his pet goldfish, Clementine, named appropriately because of its orange color. This story had so many instances that had me rolling my eyes at the actions that John Doe takes, as well as feeling slightly bad for him as he learns to open up to the possibility of letting go of his fears and accepting friendships from the least likely of people, including his 16-year-old "therapist" that he met through a flyer he saw hanging around town. I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves a great vampire book with a ton of hilarious moments sprinkled in to spice it up, and the perfect amount of suspense as well. "John Doe Does Not Suck" is a very appropriate title for this book; if I could give it more than 5 stars, I totally would!
@Brandy Rymer
02/2026
@Brandy Rymer
02/2026
February 13, 2026
John Doe is an unpublished author whose memoir was rejected at the age of 317 years old though he looks 17. The vampire craze has died down so to the speak so there is no interest or market for anything to do with vampires.
The feelings of rejection prompts his anxiety and OCD to become more prominent.
‘I knock the back of my skull with my knuckles before I leave my apartment—exactly five times.’
This doesn’t deter his excitement from starting his criminology class where he meets Angela Ruiz. Angela convinces John that they should bring the Six o Clock Slasher, a serial killer who has eluded the police for two years to justice.
As they investigate, he begins to suspect that the serial killer is a vampire and he may not be the last vampire as he so previously thought.
The cover and title initially caught my interest but I was wary of it. I am glad I gave it a chance after reading the premise.
To have an over 300 year old vampire be behind on rent and threatened with eviction when most books about vampires have them as successful and rich was a bit humorous to me. This book even states what is a myth regarding vampires such as being able to see themselves.
I have been in a mystery mood lately and this book did not disappoint. I loved the characters, especially John Doe and wanted to know more about him.
This was a short but fun read. I couldn’t put the book down.
The feelings of rejection prompts his anxiety and OCD to become more prominent.
‘I knock the back of my skull with my knuckles before I leave my apartment—exactly five times.’
This doesn’t deter his excitement from starting his criminology class where he meets Angela Ruiz. Angela convinces John that they should bring the Six o Clock Slasher, a serial killer who has eluded the police for two years to justice.
As they investigate, he begins to suspect that the serial killer is a vampire and he may not be the last vampire as he so previously thought.
The cover and title initially caught my interest but I was wary of it. I am glad I gave it a chance after reading the premise.
To have an over 300 year old vampire be behind on rent and threatened with eviction when most books about vampires have them as successful and rich was a bit humorous to me. This book even states what is a myth regarding vampires such as being able to see themselves.
I have been in a mystery mood lately and this book did not disappoint. I loved the characters, especially John Doe and wanted to know more about him.
This was a short but fun read. I couldn’t put the book down.
February 17, 2026
This book did not go the way I thought it was going to go. I have read a lot of vampire books before this one. I thought I have seen every angle they could possibly be written. Then I stumble upon this gem of a book. What happens when you think that you could possibly be the very last living vampire? What happens when you have lived over 300 years and still have to reinvent yourself over and over. The main character thinks this new name is going to be amazing, John Doe. Once I read that, I knew this book wasn't going to be like the others. This book has a humor that I wasn't expecting and the character has quirks that you typically don't see in a vampire book. I liked how the author was able to depict the past and the present in a way to make you feel like it isn't just a bunch of flashbacks. I mean it is but it didn't feel like whiplash going back and forth. It flowed really well. The flow of the book is steady and makes it an easy read especially with the quirks. However, there are spots that I felt could have been a little quicker and that could be because it was missing the intrigue of other parts but it isn't bad and the information that you get from those parts are important to the rest of the book. I gave this book 5 stars because it is really a unique take on vampires that I wasn't expecting and really truly enjoyed.
January 29, 2026
John Doe, the last vampire, is trying to live a hidden life. He works nights. Stays to himself. Only has one friend. But then, he decides to take an evening criminology class. He meets Angela. She is unique. She is loud, brash, and has no boundaries. They are tagged as partners in this class. She tries to make it more. John isn’t sure how he feels about that.
John meets Bibi. A young girl trying to find her way in life, masquerading as a therapist. John and Bibi have long talks about life and his issues.
Angela decides that she and John are going to investigate a recent spree of murders for a class project. This leads to John spending time with Angela, getting to know her. John slowly develops a fondness for Angela. John slowly realizes that for the first time in a very long time, he has made a friend. So while Angela and John are investigating these murders, John discovers who the killer is.
He realizes that he is actually not the last vampire, but he fights the fact that the other one is a serial killer. John makes the right choice. John finds a unique and completely modern way of taking down the other vampire, with Angela’s help-ish.
The banter between John and himself is wonderful. It works for him. This is one fabulous book.
John meets Bibi. A young girl trying to find her way in life, masquerading as a therapist. John and Bibi have long talks about life and his issues.
Angela decides that she and John are going to investigate a recent spree of murders for a class project. This leads to John spending time with Angela, getting to know her. John slowly develops a fondness for Angela. John slowly realizes that for the first time in a very long time, he has made a friend. So while Angela and John are investigating these murders, John discovers who the killer is.
He realizes that he is actually not the last vampire, but he fights the fact that the other one is a serial killer. John makes the right choice. John finds a unique and completely modern way of taking down the other vampire, with Angela’s help-ish.
The banter between John and himself is wonderful. It works for him. This is one fabulous book.
February 24, 2026
This is a delightfully different vampire novel. We have John Doe, who seems like your normal 17year old kid (317 years old as a vampire). Who seems to prefer to keep to himself and live a more nocturnal lifestyle. Would rather have the company of his pet fish and his elderly neighbor, then venture out of his comfort zone to befriend anyone else. But then again him being the so-called last vampire really puts a kink in your social life. John decides to take a class on criminology and is really starting to debate that decision. First the detective running the class would not really be considered a teacher. And second, he has now been forced to partner with another classmate, Angela, who is the complete opposite of John. As she starts to question John to get to know him, he wants no part of this. It does not help that for class they have decided to make their assignment be solving the Six-O-Clock murders happening lately. But as their Partnership takes on a more friendly perspective, will they both be able to trust one another to solve these murders? Especially after it hits a little too close to home for John and someone he knows. Can he tell Angela his secret or will it put her in even more danger?
January 30, 2026
John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla is a refreshingly clever and emotionally nuanced take on the vampire mythos, blending supernatural elements with real-world struggles in a voice that’s equal parts sarcastic and sincere. John Doe, a 317-year-old vampire stuck in the body, and emotional turmoil, of a 17-year-old, battles rejection not just from literary agents unwilling to entertain vampire memoirs, but also from a world that has outgrown his kind. With sharp humor and raw honesty, Berla explores themes of identity, anxiety, and belonging through John’s daily battle with OCD, his failed attempts at authorship, and his reluctant partnership with the delightfully determined Angela Ruiz in a hunt for a serial killer. As John grapples with whether to out himself as a vampire to stop the killer, Berla raises powerful questions about sacrifice, loneliness, and what it means to be the last of something. This is more than a quirky paranormal romp,John Doe Does Not Suck is a layered, empathetic story with heart, teeth, and an unexpectedly poignant bite. I highly recommend this read as it was entertaining, quick, and an easy read!
January 22, 2026
John Doe Does Not Suck is a quirky paranormal mystery that blends humor, heart, and a fresh twist on vampire lore. The novel follows John Doe, a 317 year old vampire who looks seventeen and battles anxiety, OCD, and perpetual rejection of his memoir. When he’s paired with criminology student Angela Ruiz, the two dive into investigating the “Six o’Clock Slasher,” a serial killer John begins to suspect might be another vampire. The story balances lighthearted wit with thoughtful mental health representation. John is awkward, earnest, and deeply relatable despite his immortality, while Angela is driven, curious, and delightfully pushy in all the right ways. Their dynamic fuels both the humor and the emotional core of the book. Interludes from John’s memoir add charm and world building, offering playful commentary on vampire myths. Overall, it’s a clever, character driven read that stands out for its originality, gentle humor, and compassionate portrayal of anxiety wrapped inside a supernatural mystery.
January 28, 2026
John Doe Does Not Suck drew me in just from the title and cover art. John is the last vampire on earth and has spent the last couple of centuries perfecting fitting in with human life. With that comes loneliness. To help cope with the loss of love and family, as well as continually starting over, John has started writing a memoir of his life. The author uses the memorial to teach us about John's history, which I found very creative. John encountered many important famous people through the centuries, making it seem that much more believable. The author is great with her imagery. Instead of just describing what John looks like, we learn through references from people. Like, "has anyone ever told you, you look like (insert famous person)?" I enjoyed how she pieced in mental health, as that is not something I have ever seen in vampire stories. This book focuses around on a genre that has been done a million times but was entirely unique. I don't think I have read this author before but would definitely read again.
January 31, 2026
John Doe is a 317-year-old vampire, but not your typical night stalker, bloodsucker type. He works at a restaurant and barely makes ends meet, struggles with anxiety, files his fangs regularly, and is trying to publish his story- although rejection seems to be all he is met with. He begins criminology classes and before he knows it, John is pulled into an investigation with a classmate named Angela. And thus, they are launched into a topsy turvy and wild ride looking for a serial killer. When John begins sensing that the killer might possibly be another vampire, he realizes he may not be the only one left as he once thought. John is faced with some very hard decisions that could define the depth of his moral foundation, if his hunch is correct.
I really enjoyed this story! I loved how I got to experience John and his way of thinking about himself and the world around him. The story seemed to have a perfect pace from beginning to end and the pages kept turning. I definitely recommend if you're a fan of vampires and like to experience a different spin on things!
I really enjoyed this story! I loved how I got to experience John and his way of thinking about himself and the world around him. The story seemed to have a perfect pace from beginning to end and the pages kept turning. I definitely recommend if you're a fan of vampires and like to experience a different spin on things!
February 21, 2026
John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla
5 Star Review
John Doe is the last vampire at 317 years old. Imagine being 17 for that many years after being turned in a situation not of your closing. He had no life-long friends and was forever alone. When John takes a Criminology class and gets paired up with Angela Ruiz, they get involved in a mystery that might prove that he is not as alone as he thought.
This was a different feel than other vampire books that I have read before and I have read my share. It really felt more like a good ole who-dun-it crime fiction. I liked the touches of humor throughout the novel as well as the mystery that is woven into the pages. Kathryn Berla’s writing is unique and descriptive. I was very taken with the character creation of John. He is not your usual vampire, goes as far as to file his fangs to fit in! I love the education angle where he has acquired numerous degrees and is a writer to boot. He is truly not just a blood sucking vampire like in most other books. This is a book I will definitely recommend to my vampire-loving friends!
5 Star Review
John Doe is the last vampire at 317 years old. Imagine being 17 for that many years after being turned in a situation not of your closing. He had no life-long friends and was forever alone. When John takes a Criminology class and gets paired up with Angela Ruiz, they get involved in a mystery that might prove that he is not as alone as he thought.
This was a different feel than other vampire books that I have read before and I have read my share. It really felt more like a good ole who-dun-it crime fiction. I liked the touches of humor throughout the novel as well as the mystery that is woven into the pages. Kathryn Berla’s writing is unique and descriptive. I was very taken with the character creation of John. He is not your usual vampire, goes as far as to file his fangs to fit in! I love the education angle where he has acquired numerous degrees and is a writer to boot. He is truly not just a blood sucking vampire like in most other books. This is a book I will definitely recommend to my vampire-loving friends!
February 23, 2026
This was a unique read. It was a unique vampire tale with supernatural elements, intrigue, humour and mystery. The author has created two characters who couldn't be more different from each other John Doe is a 317 year old vampire who is trying to make it as a author and Angela Ruiz who has no formal training apart from what she has seen on CSI.
They are joined together to uncover and solve the Six O Clock Slasher case when they are both part of a criminology course. However things take a turn when the evidence points to the killer being something more than human.
Could it be possible that John Doe isn't the only living vampire after all? And if they bring the killer to justice will it expose his true identity? Should he live his life as the only vampire or should he let the killer to free to save his true identity being exposed?
This was a really unique read with a twist I didn't see coming. It was refreshing to read a different vampire story with elements I haven't seen it paired with before. I really enjoyed it.
They are joined together to uncover and solve the Six O Clock Slasher case when they are both part of a criminology course. However things take a turn when the evidence points to the killer being something more than human.
Could it be possible that John Doe isn't the only living vampire after all? And if they bring the killer to justice will it expose his true identity? Should he live his life as the only vampire or should he let the killer to free to save his true identity being exposed?
This was a really unique read with a twist I didn't see coming. It was refreshing to read a different vampire story with elements I haven't seen it paired with before. I really enjoyed it.
February 24, 2026
John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla.
4 of 5 Stars
This is an enjoyable cozy mystery with a twist, that it’s a 317 year old vampire, and aspiring author John Doe solving the mystery! Currently passing as a seventeen year old John has been unable to get an agent for his memoir, The Last Vampire and so enrols in a criminology course. John lives with vampirovirus and suffers with OCD and anxiety, not helped by the fact he’s the last of his kind. John meets Angela on his course and she somehow convinced him that they should bring down the serial killer known as the Six o’Clock Slasher. However, as they investigate John starts to think the killer may actually be a vampire. Having discovered that he may not be the last of his kind after all, he must decide whether to let the killer go free. This is a light hearted read, and the main character being a vampire is definitely a twist on the usual cozy mysteries. The quirky characters and intriguing storyline kept me hooked throughout.
4 of 5 Stars
This is an enjoyable cozy mystery with a twist, that it’s a 317 year old vampire, and aspiring author John Doe solving the mystery! Currently passing as a seventeen year old John has been unable to get an agent for his memoir, The Last Vampire and so enrols in a criminology course. John lives with vampirovirus and suffers with OCD and anxiety, not helped by the fact he’s the last of his kind. John meets Angela on his course and she somehow convinced him that they should bring down the serial killer known as the Six o’Clock Slasher. However, as they investigate John starts to think the killer may actually be a vampire. Having discovered that he may not be the last of his kind after all, he must decide whether to let the killer go free. This is a light hearted read, and the main character being a vampire is definitely a twist on the usual cozy mysteries. The quirky characters and intriguing storyline kept me hooked throughout.
February 24, 2026
John Doe is a vampire, and what is worse than that? He is quite possibly the last vampire! After being turned at 17, he has lived through fried, love, heartache, sorrow and anxiety, but there have been sparks of joy sprinkled in over the last 300 years as well, such as his latest neighbour and goldfish, Clementine.
In order for him to blend into society, he has developed a few coping mechanisms along the way, one of which is attending night classes and this is where he meets Angela Ruiz, a girl in his latest class, Criminology where they are partnered up to solve a case and Angela decides to work on the infamous Six O'clock Slasher case who has been terrorising people for years.
As Angela and John work together on this case, he realises that he may not be alone as he thinks, but will this be the answer to his loneliness, or will it lead to more sorrow than ever? This is a fantasy story where blending in is harder than it seems and loneliness can lead you to unimaginable choices.
In order for him to blend into society, he has developed a few coping mechanisms along the way, one of which is attending night classes and this is where he meets Angela Ruiz, a girl in his latest class, Criminology where they are partnered up to solve a case and Angela decides to work on the infamous Six O'clock Slasher case who has been terrorising people for years.
As Angela and John work together on this case, he realises that he may not be alone as he thinks, but will this be the answer to his loneliness, or will it lead to more sorrow than ever? This is a fantasy story where blending in is harder than it seems and loneliness can lead you to unimaginable choices.
January 24, 2026
John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla. This is a teenage vampire read but its not your regular vampire book. I really enjoyed this book and I'm a past middle age woman! Its the story of John Doe a 317 young vampire who is wondering if he is to be lonely his entire life. He is the only vampire he knows and he's lonely. He has written a memoir and it keeps getting rejected, he has OCD and major anxiety. He decides to take a class with criminology student Angela Ruiz and they get paired up to study the "Six O'Clock Slasher" who is a serial killer and the more John finds out about him he begins to think he might be a vampire. He begins to realize he likes Angela as well maybe more than just as a partner in school but how can he explain him being a vampire to her. He would have to hide that part of his life. Will he continue his relationship with Angela or will he continue on his journey alone? Such a good vampire read.
January 27, 2026
3 - 3.5 Stars
John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla is an intriguing, slightly offbeat read that will appeal to fans of unconventional mysteries with a heartfelt core.
It was a fresh, inventive take vampire lore, blending supernatural elements with mystery and humor. The novel follows John Doe, a vampire living discreetly in New York City whose quiet existence changes when he and a fellow criminology student begin to investigate the unsolved serial killer case of the “Six o’Clock Slasher.” As the investigation progresses, John begins to suspect that the killer may share his vampiric nature, causing more than a bit of a dilemma for John as it raises more complicated issues.
This is an engaging, genre-crossing novel that combines mystery, supernatural intrigue, and character-driven storytelling. It will appeal to readers looking for a vampire story full of humor, heart, and a distinctive twist.
Happy Reading…
John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla is an intriguing, slightly offbeat read that will appeal to fans of unconventional mysteries with a heartfelt core.
It was a fresh, inventive take vampire lore, blending supernatural elements with mystery and humor. The novel follows John Doe, a vampire living discreetly in New York City whose quiet existence changes when he and a fellow criminology student begin to investigate the unsolved serial killer case of the “Six o’Clock Slasher.” As the investigation progresses, John begins to suspect that the killer may share his vampiric nature, causing more than a bit of a dilemma for John as it raises more complicated issues.
This is an engaging, genre-crossing novel that combines mystery, supernatural intrigue, and character-driven storytelling. It will appeal to readers looking for a vampire story full of humor, heart, and a distinctive twist.
Happy Reading…
January 29, 2026
5 out of 5 Stars
John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla
This is the first book I’ve read by the author. When I read the title ‘John Doe Does Not Suck’ I thought it would be your typical vampire book. It’s not. I was sucked right into the book, get it sucked…okay anyway it was a fantastic book. John Doe really does not suck and I think you will like this book.
John Doe has been a vampire for as long as he can remember. Okay it’s been like 100 years but who is counting. He does drink blood, just not the way you would think. He buys it from someone he’s been working with for years. Now that he is getting older and has gotten sick John Doe is thinking of finding someone else just in case. Things get bad when he gets hungry and he can’t afford to do this again. He tells this to his co-worker: “That’s impressive. I tried once… a saltwater aquarium but it was too much… way too much. But they’re beautiful. I envy you that you’re able to maintain one.”
John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla
This is the first book I’ve read by the author. When I read the title ‘John Doe Does Not Suck’ I thought it would be your typical vampire book. It’s not. I was sucked right into the book, get it sucked…okay anyway it was a fantastic book. John Doe really does not suck and I think you will like this book.
John Doe has been a vampire for as long as he can remember. Okay it’s been like 100 years but who is counting. He does drink blood, just not the way you would think. He buys it from someone he’s been working with for years. Now that he is getting older and has gotten sick John Doe is thinking of finding someone else just in case. Things get bad when he gets hungry and he can’t afford to do this again. He tells this to his co-worker: “That’s impressive. I tried once… a saltwater aquarium but it was too much… way too much. But they’re beautiful. I envy you that you’re able to maintain one.”
February 5, 2026
John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla
4 Stars
This is the most original story that I have ever read. I love vampires and have read so many books about them. This is the first time I have read about a vampire that has OCD and more anxiety that any human could possibly have. It was hilarious and refreshing. For once it wasn’t some super strong, rich and good looking guy. John Doe was relatable on so many levels.
He was writing a book and this was how the author explained his background; through the book. Another unique way of doing something. I tip my hat to the author. The story was interesting with the twist of finding the murderer. The characters were interesting.
The author did a great job of weaving the past and present. The book is well written. Although I did find certain parts dragged a little, I think this book is fantastic. It is the first that I have read from this author and it won’t be the last.
4 Stars
This is the most original story that I have ever read. I love vampires and have read so many books about them. This is the first time I have read about a vampire that has OCD and more anxiety that any human could possibly have. It was hilarious and refreshing. For once it wasn’t some super strong, rich and good looking guy. John Doe was relatable on so many levels.
He was writing a book and this was how the author explained his background; through the book. Another unique way of doing something. I tip my hat to the author. The story was interesting with the twist of finding the murderer. The characters were interesting.
The author did a great job of weaving the past and present. The book is well written. Although I did find certain parts dragged a little, I think this book is fantastic. It is the first that I have read from this author and it won’t be the last.
February 21, 2026
This is a clever and funny story that puts a fresh spin on the classic vampire story. Instead of a dark, brooding hero, we meet John Doe—a vampire who is just trying to survive high school and get his book published. He spends his days dealing with typical teen problems and the fact that nobody wants to buy his vampire memoir because they think the genre is dead. Things get interesting when he teams up with Angela to solve a real-life mystery involving a serial killer in their city. Their amateur detective energy keeps the pacing fast while allowing for genuine character growth. Although John is immortal, his life is defined by a profound sense of loneliness and very real struggles with OCD and anxiety that make him feel very real and relatable. The book’s self-aware humor shines as it uses a real vampire’s failed writing career to mock both the publishing industry and tired vampire clichés. Overall, it’s a refreshing and relatable take on a vampire story that I highly recommend.
February 24, 2026
Well I did not expect to get this invested in a 317-year-old vampire named John Doe, but here we are. I love all things supernatural, and I thought the vampire genre had been overdone to the point of no return…but this author has proven me wrong. This was definitely a refreshing take! John Doe genuinely believes he’s the last vampire on Earth, which already makes his life tragic and lonely in a way that kind of sneaks up on you emotionally. Turned at just 17 in a totally unforgivable way, he’s been stuck in this endless cycle of isolation where “forever” doesn’t actually mean forever with anyone. There is a mystery element that adds such a fun, tense layer, especially as the clues start pointing somewhere he never expected in his class project. If you like moody vampires, slow-building suspense, and stories that mix crime-solving with emotional angst, I’d definitely recommend giving this one a shot.
February 24, 2026
John Doe Does Not Suck follows John, a 300+ year-old vampire who’s been stuck looking like a teenager for centuries. Instead of living some cool, mysterious immortal life, he’s dealing with loneliness, anxiety, OCD, and the constant struggle of trying to fit into a world where he doesn’t really belong. He truly believes he’s the last vampire left… until things start getting weird then John teams up with Angela for a class project to investigate a serial killer known as the Six O’Clock Slasher. I really liked how human John felt despite being a vampire. His awkwardness, overthinking, and emotional struggles made him super easy to connect with. The mental health representation was handled in a thoughtful way, and the mix of humor with heavier themes like isolation and belonging was done really well. It’s not super dark or gory. It's more of a quiet, character-driven story about connection, identity, and finding your place in the world.
January 21, 2026
John Doe Doesn’t Suck is a hilarious, kick-butt ride that proves ordinary names don’t mean ordinary lives. John Doe might seem average, but this story flips the script, showing that confidence, smarts, and a little sass can turn anyone into a hero of their own story.
The book sparkles with humor, heart, and plenty of “did he really just say that?!” moments. It’s part laugh-out-loud, part “heck yes, go John!”—perfect for anyone who loves underdogs, clever twists, and bold characters who refuse to be boxed in.
A funny, inspiring read that reminds you that sometimes the most ordinary person can do the most extraordinary things. 😎💥📖✨🔥
Emoji Review:
😎 – John’s cool confidence and attitude
💥 – bold, action-packed moments
🔥 – energy, determination, and personality
✨ – standout moments and inspiration
📖 – the story that ties it all together
😄 – humor and laugh-out-loud fun
The book sparkles with humor, heart, and plenty of “did he really just say that?!” moments. It’s part laugh-out-loud, part “heck yes, go John!”—perfect for anyone who loves underdogs, clever twists, and bold characters who refuse to be boxed in.
A funny, inspiring read that reminds you that sometimes the most ordinary person can do the most extraordinary things. 😎💥📖✨🔥
Emoji Review:
😎 – John’s cool confidence and attitude
💥 – bold, action-packed moments
🔥 – energy, determination, and personality
✨ – standout moments and inspiration
📖 – the story that ties it all together
😄 – humor and laugh-out-loud fun
January 21, 2026
I enjoyed reading this fantasy story. This is not my first book by this author but it is one of my favorites. One of my favorite things about this author is their use of details that made this story realistic. This is a story about an author who is 317 years old but in a 17 year old body. John takes a crime course where he meets Angela. She convinces John that they need to help the police find a serial killer. What will happen when John is faced with letting the killer go free or condemn himself? What happens in this story is something you don’t want to miss. The characters are connectable, strong and engaging. I enjoyed watching their growth throughout which made the story easy to read. I found this story to be entertaining and fast paced. This is an engaging story that is hard to put down. This is a great story which I highly recommend.
January 22, 2026
John Doe Does Not Suck is one of the most unique vampire stories I have read. This is not a dark, angsty romance. John is a relatable, flawed, and surprisingly normal vampire with a sharp sense of humor.
With endless time on his hands, John enrolls in a night criminology class and ends up partnered with Angela, a determined detective. Together they are pulled into tracking a serial killer who only strikes inside homes at dinnertime. A vampire hunting a serial killer is an unexpected twist, and it works.
What really stood out were the characters. John’s anxiety and OCD are written with care, making him feel real and easy to connect with.
The pacing is smooth, the rules of vampirism are handled creatively, and the humor lands perfectly. Clever, funny, and different, this book is an easy recommendation for anyone looking for a comedic vampire story that breaks the mold.
With endless time on his hands, John enrolls in a night criminology class and ends up partnered with Angela, a determined detective. Together they are pulled into tracking a serial killer who only strikes inside homes at dinnertime. A vampire hunting a serial killer is an unexpected twist, and it works.
What really stood out were the characters. John’s anxiety and OCD are written with care, making him feel real and easy to connect with.
The pacing is smooth, the rules of vampirism are handled creatively, and the humor lands perfectly. Clever, funny, and different, this book is an easy recommendation for anyone looking for a comedic vampire story that breaks the mold.
January 27, 2026
I am totally into vampire stories and this book about a vampire who is over 300 years old but poses as a 17 year old teenager really got me intrigued. Especially since he goes by the name John Doe. Every time he says his name or someone calls out to him, I can’t help but think about the irony in his name being the undead character in the story. The dry comedy in the story and banter within John’s mind as he struggles with anxiety and OCD issues is something that will keep you guessing as you wouldn’t think that would plague someone who has lived through so much. The other key characters and friends that you meet through John as they navigate the additional story of the mysterious serial killer add the extra bits of intrigue to this story. This is my first book by this author but I am now hooked!
January 27, 2026
John Doe Does Not Suck by Kathryn Berla is not your typical vampire story. Not only is the main character, John Doe, a vampire, he is also dealing with OCD and anxiety, a very persistent landlady, a night course in criminology, and coming to terms with the fact he may not be the last vampire as he’d believed. This humorous tale blends great world-building with quirky, flawed, believable characters. John's attempt to publish his fictional biography gives the reader a glimpse into the world John once knew. And at 317 years old, there is a lot of changes to that world. I could feel John's anxiety, feel his muscles tense during his rituals, and see the world through his eyes. This unique vampire story is full of humor, emotion, plenty of twists, and everyday struggles. I definitely recommend this book and can't wait to read more by Kathryn Berla.
January 28, 2026
John Doe Does Not Suck is one of those books that sneaks up on you. You go in expecting humor (and yes, it delivers), but what you get is a surprisingly thoughtful story about identity, connection, and what it really means to be seen.
The writing is sharp and witty without trying too hard, and the characters feel refreshingly human—flawed, awkward, and very real. John Doe himself is easy to root for, and the story balances humor with heart in a way that feels natural instead of forced.
What I loved most is how the book tackles deeper themes while still being an easy, engaging read. It made me laugh, pause, and reflect—all in one sitting. If you enjoy stories that mix humor with emotional depth and a bit of self-discovery, this one is absolutely worth picking up.
Highly recommend if you’re in the mood for something clever, relatable, and unexpectedly meaningful. 📚✨
The writing is sharp and witty without trying too hard, and the characters feel refreshingly human—flawed, awkward, and very real. John Doe himself is easy to root for, and the story balances humor with heart in a way that feels natural instead of forced.
What I loved most is how the book tackles deeper themes while still being an easy, engaging read. It made me laugh, pause, and reflect—all in one sitting. If you enjoy stories that mix humor with emotional depth and a bit of self-discovery, this one is absolutely worth picking up.
Highly recommend if you’re in the mood for something clever, relatable, and unexpectedly meaningful. 📚✨
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