Me, You & Us: Moving Beyond Relational Trauma and Disorder (Anxious/Avoidant Attachment, Codependency, BPD) to Build a Stable, Lasting Relationship

by Brian Birdbell

A guide to healing relational patterns, setting boundaries, and building the emotionally healthy love you’ve always wanted

For years, I struggled in romantic relationships, trapped in people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, and emotional disconnection. I didn’t know how to set boundaries, communicate honestly, or feel safe being myself. Like many people living with the effects of Complex PTSD (CPTSD), I was stuck in survival mode, longing for intimacy but afraid to be truly seen.

Whether you're recovering from toxic relationships, navigating attachment wounds, or simply want to show up more authentically in love, this book will help

Understand your emotional patterns and triggers.
Communicate with honesty and curiosity.
Create safety, trust, and intimacy with your partner
Break free from performance, people-pleasing, and self-betrayal.
Build a relationship rooted in mutual respect, care, and desire.

Perfect for readers

Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel HellerThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkHold Me Tight by Dr. Sue JohnsonCodependent No More by Melody BeattieIt Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn

193 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 6, 2025

About the author

Brian, with his wife Stephanie, hosts the acclaimed podcast A Codependent Mind.

Reviews

[Eva · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn’t relate to the story..

[Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved the content, resonated a lot with it and I like the personal style of writing. Unfortunately I couldn’t help but think it was written partly with the help of AI to weave it all together or even paragraphs itself.

[Emily Griffith · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were three chapters that really stuck with me: boundaries, communication, and honesty.

Everything else felt more like personal opinion - and doesn’t have the nuance and professional study other relationship books have like Conscious Loving, Getting the Love You Want, and Hold Me Tight. This guy has a podcast not a doctorate.

But I think this book is helpful for people who have experienced relationship trauma and would like some understanding behind their people pleasing tendencies.