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Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith and Belonging
Not yet published
Expected 5 May 26A gay Christian's behind-the-scenes account of evangelical megachurches and eight years in conversion therapy before finding wholeness and authenticity.
Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez was an invisible architect behind evangelical Christianity's digital empire, crafting messages of belonging for some of the most influential megachurches--Hillsong Church, Elevation Church, Willow Creek--all while secretly questioning his own place within the faith.
In a desperate attempt to "fix" himself, he turned to conversion therapy, spending eight years trying to pray the gay away. And he wasn't alone. More than 700,000 people in the US have undergone some form of conversion therapy. Even though Exodus International, the largest ex-gay organization, closed in 2013, the practice still thrives in many conservative religious communities. After years of this harmful "therapy," Schraeder Rodriguez's sexuality never changed. But his faith did.The more time he spent in evangelical Christianity, the more he witnessed the hypocrisy of institutions that claimed to love everyone while quietly pushing people like him into silence. But Schraeder Rodriguez wouldn't remain silent. Instead, he forged a new path, discovering a vibrant faith beyond the constraints of non-affirming theology and finding a community that embraced his whole self.
Conversion Therapy Dropout is a behind-the-scenes look at megachurch culture, the hidden harm of non-affirming Christian spaces, and the ongoing impact of conversion therapy on gay Christians. This isn't just a coming-out story--it's about what happens after. About rebuilding a life outside the only world you've ever known. And the radical act of stepping into the light after being told your whole life to stay in the shadows. Sometimes, the greatest act of faith isn't holding on--it's letting go.
Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez was an invisible architect behind evangelical Christianity's digital empire, crafting messages of belonging for some of the most influential megachurches--Hillsong Church, Elevation Church, Willow Creek--all while secretly questioning his own place within the faith.
In a desperate attempt to "fix" himself, he turned to conversion therapy, spending eight years trying to pray the gay away. And he wasn't alone. More than 700,000 people in the US have undergone some form of conversion therapy. Even though Exodus International, the largest ex-gay organization, closed in 2013, the practice still thrives in many conservative religious communities. After years of this harmful "therapy," Schraeder Rodriguez's sexuality never changed. But his faith did.The more time he spent in evangelical Christianity, the more he witnessed the hypocrisy of institutions that claimed to love everyone while quietly pushing people like him into silence. But Schraeder Rodriguez wouldn't remain silent. Instead, he forged a new path, discovering a vibrant faith beyond the constraints of non-affirming theology and finding a community that embraced his whole self.
Conversion Therapy Dropout is a behind-the-scenes look at megachurch culture, the hidden harm of non-affirming Christian spaces, and the ongoing impact of conversion therapy on gay Christians. This isn't just a coming-out story--it's about what happens after. About rebuilding a life outside the only world you've ever known. And the radical act of stepping into the light after being told your whole life to stay in the shadows. Sometimes, the greatest act of faith isn't holding on--it's letting go.
248 pages, Hardcover
Expected publication May 1, 2026
98 people want to read
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Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith and Belonging by Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez is a brave, unflinching testimony about what it costs queer people to keep trying to belong in spaces that refuse to love them fully.
Rodriguez writes with heartbreaking clarity about years spent internalizing the lie that his longing for love was a sickness to be cured. From a so-called Christian therapist who treated desire like pathology, to shame-soaked “support” spaces that promised holiness and delivered harm, he captures how conversion therapy corrodes the soul. The author writes about how he was trying to kill a part of himself he hadn’t even had the chance to understand because he believed that’s what God required.
What makes this book especially powerful is its duality. By day, Rodriguez was a digital evangelist helping megachurches and Christian bands craft messages of belonging to attract new members. By night, he was quietly learning how to be free. The betrayal he experienced when a trusted pastor turned on him after learning he was gay becomes the emotional fault line of the book and the moment that pushed him deeper into conversion therapy, self-hatred, and years of unnecessary suffering.
This memoir opened my eyes to the depth and persistence of an unethical practice that is still legal in some places when pursued “voluntarily” for religious reasons and to the ripple effects it has on friendships, finances, mental health, and faith itself. This is a healing book for anyone standing at the painful intersection of faith and identity. It reminds us that if spirituality matters to you, you do not have to abandon yourself to keep God. Sometimes the most faithful act is choosing wholeness. I'm so proud of this author for sharing his story and I know so many others will be supported by his doing so.
Rodriguez writes with heartbreaking clarity about years spent internalizing the lie that his longing for love was a sickness to be cured. From a so-called Christian therapist who treated desire like pathology, to shame-soaked “support” spaces that promised holiness and delivered harm, he captures how conversion therapy corrodes the soul. The author writes about how he was trying to kill a part of himself he hadn’t even had the chance to understand because he believed that’s what God required.
What makes this book especially powerful is its duality. By day, Rodriguez was a digital evangelist helping megachurches and Christian bands craft messages of belonging to attract new members. By night, he was quietly learning how to be free. The betrayal he experienced when a trusted pastor turned on him after learning he was gay becomes the emotional fault line of the book and the moment that pushed him deeper into conversion therapy, self-hatred, and years of unnecessary suffering.
This memoir opened my eyes to the depth and persistence of an unethical practice that is still legal in some places when pursued “voluntarily” for religious reasons and to the ripple effects it has on friendships, finances, mental health, and faith itself. This is a healing book for anyone standing at the painful intersection of faith and identity. It reminds us that if spirituality matters to you, you do not have to abandon yourself to keep God. Sometimes the most faithful act is choosing wholeness. I'm so proud of this author for sharing his story and I know so many others will be supported by his doing so.
Displaying 1 of 1 review