What do you think?
Rate this book
Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith and Belonging
Not yet published
Expected 5 May 26A gay Christian's behind-the-scenes account of evangelical megachurches and eight years in conversion therapy before finding wholeness and authenticity.
Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez was an invisible architect behind evangelical Christianity's digital empire, crafting messages of belonging for some of the most influential megachurches--Hillsong Church, Elevation Church, Willow Creek--all while secretly questioning his own place within the faith.
In a desperate attempt to "fix" himself, he turned to conversion therapy, spending eight years trying to pray the gay away. And he wasn't alone. More than 700,000 people in the US have undergone some form of conversion therapy. Even though Exodus International, the largest ex-gay organization, closed in 2013, the practice still thrives in many conservative religious communities. After years of this harmful "therapy," Schraeder Rodriguez's sexuality never changed. But his faith did.The more time he spent in evangelical Christianity, the more he witnessed the hypocrisy of institutions that claimed to love everyone while quietly pushing people like him into silence. But Schraeder Rodriguez wouldn't remain silent. Instead, he forged a new path, discovering a vibrant faith beyond the constraints of non-affirming theology and finding a community that embraced his whole self.
Conversion Therapy Dropout is a behind-the-scenes look at megachurch culture, the hidden harm of non-affirming Christian spaces, and the ongoing impact of conversion therapy on gay Christians. This isn't just a coming-out story--it's about what happens after. About rebuilding a life outside the only world you've ever known. And the radical act of stepping into the light after being told your whole life to stay in the shadows. Sometimes, the greatest act of faith isn't holding on--it's letting go.
Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez was an invisible architect behind evangelical Christianity's digital empire, crafting messages of belonging for some of the most influential megachurches--Hillsong Church, Elevation Church, Willow Creek--all while secretly questioning his own place within the faith.
In a desperate attempt to "fix" himself, he turned to conversion therapy, spending eight years trying to pray the gay away. And he wasn't alone. More than 700,000 people in the US have undergone some form of conversion therapy. Even though Exodus International, the largest ex-gay organization, closed in 2013, the practice still thrives in many conservative religious communities. After years of this harmful "therapy," Schraeder Rodriguez's sexuality never changed. But his faith did.The more time he spent in evangelical Christianity, the more he witnessed the hypocrisy of institutions that claimed to love everyone while quietly pushing people like him into silence. But Schraeder Rodriguez wouldn't remain silent. Instead, he forged a new path, discovering a vibrant faith beyond the constraints of non-affirming theology and finding a community that embraced his whole self.
Conversion Therapy Dropout is a behind-the-scenes look at megachurch culture, the hidden harm of non-affirming Christian spaces, and the ongoing impact of conversion therapy on gay Christians. This isn't just a coming-out story--it's about what happens after. About rebuilding a life outside the only world you've ever known. And the radical act of stepping into the light after being told your whole life to stay in the shadows. Sometimes, the greatest act of faith isn't holding on--it's letting go.
248 pages, Hardcover
Expected publication May 1, 2026
165 people want to read
About the author
Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez
1 book6 followersTimothy Schraeder Rodriguez spent nearly a decade in gay conversion therapy—all while working behind the scenes at some of the most influential evangelical megachurches.
After embracing his identity as a gay Christian and leaving church work, he co-founded Church Clarity, an organization that helps queer people find affirming faith communities.
His writing and work have been featured in TIME, The Advocate, NBC, VICE, The Washington Post, HuffPost, Religion News Service, and BBC Newshour.
Born in the Midwest, he now calls New York City home, where he continues his work as a writer, digital strategist, and advocate for queer people of faith.
After embracing his identity as a gay Christian and leaving church work, he co-founded Church Clarity, an organization that helps queer people find affirming faith communities.
His writing and work have been featured in TIME, The Advocate, NBC, VICE, The Washington Post, HuffPost, Religion News Service, and BBC Newshour.
Born in the Midwest, he now calls New York City home, where he continues his work as a writer, digital strategist, and advocate for queer people of faith.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
Review of advance copy received from Author
Memoirs are some of my favorite books to read, as it gives such a unique insight to the author. But, knowing the author on a semi-personal level changes some of the insights. References, people, and shared experiences within certain settings give the book an even deeper truth to its words, which was the case for Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez’s ‘Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith and Belonging.’ Tim and I attended the same churches growing up; first, Faith Christian Center and then the break-off church Riverside Community Church. Our families know each other and have been in each other’s orbits for what feels like forever, so when Tim announced this book, I was more than intrigued to hear more of his story.
‘Conversion Therapy Dropout’ is a painful, yet rewarding documentation of Tim’s time in therapy groups, therapist offices, and countless retreat/conventions to fix what he had been brought up being told was broken about himself: his sexuality. Being gay, or even questioning your sexuality in the Evangelical Church is not allowed, nor is it even remotely a conversation to be had. We were taught being queer, of any kind, was worse than murder. The church also taught an abstinence only stance in youth group, which ended in multiple teen pregnancies (one of which was the head pastors daughter, but that’s a story for another time.) So, reading the struggles that Tim put himself through in hopes to become a more faithful servant of Christ was truly heartbreaking. While I have absolutely closed the door on religion, I commend Tim on his walk, the pain he went through to gain a deeper connection to his faith has caused many to end their lives, or hide their true selves within Lavender Marriages or taking a vow of celibacy.
The American Evangelical Church has many issues clouding over it, along with other religious sects based in the Pentecostal ways of teaching. As mentioned in the book, many queer folks go through so much self-loathing that it becomes dangerous; those who survive conversion therapy may end up okay, while others end up going to the extreme with their newfound sexual freedom by exploring drugs and alcohol to a dangerous point, and as mentioned before, some take their lives because they cannot handle the judgement, the hate, and the societal anguish religious groups hurl their way. Hearing how many church leaders spoke to Tim and pulled the “don’t ask, don’t tell” method was not surprising, but very disappointing. It further showed me that church leadership does not truly care about the person, but what you can do for them. Having parents once in church leadership positions, I saw many people taken advantage of, free labor exploited, and many manipulated under the guise of doing work “for the Lord.”
What is most remarkable about Timothy’s story is the view from the top of the mountain he climbed. He stopped looking for answers in church leaders and turned to community, but more importantly a Christ-loving gay community. Through it all, Tim remained so devout, so faithful and reticent in his search for the truth. His story will be inspiration for many other LGBTQIA+ Christians out there and I am so proud to see him thriving today!
‘Conversion Therapy Dropout’ is available for pre-order now and releases May 5, 2026.
‘Conversion Therapy Dropout’ is a painful, yet rewarding documentation of Tim’s time in therapy groups, therapist offices, and countless retreat/conventions to fix what he had been brought up being told was broken about himself: his sexuality. Being gay, or even questioning your sexuality in the Evangelical Church is not allowed, nor is it even remotely a conversation to be had. We were taught being queer, of any kind, was worse than murder. The church also taught an abstinence only stance in youth group, which ended in multiple teen pregnancies (one of which was the head pastors daughter, but that’s a story for another time.) So, reading the struggles that Tim put himself through in hopes to become a more faithful servant of Christ was truly heartbreaking. While I have absolutely closed the door on religion, I commend Tim on his walk, the pain he went through to gain a deeper connection to his faith has caused many to end their lives, or hide their true selves within Lavender Marriages or taking a vow of celibacy.
The American Evangelical Church has many issues clouding over it, along with other religious sects based in the Pentecostal ways of teaching. As mentioned in the book, many queer folks go through so much self-loathing that it becomes dangerous; those who survive conversion therapy may end up okay, while others end up going to the extreme with their newfound sexual freedom by exploring drugs and alcohol to a dangerous point, and as mentioned before, some take their lives because they cannot handle the judgement, the hate, and the societal anguish religious groups hurl their way. Hearing how many church leaders spoke to Tim and pulled the “don’t ask, don’t tell” method was not surprising, but very disappointing. It further showed me that church leadership does not truly care about the person, but what you can do for them. Having parents once in church leadership positions, I saw many people taken advantage of, free labor exploited, and many manipulated under the guise of doing work “for the Lord.”
What is most remarkable about Timothy’s story is the view from the top of the mountain he climbed. He stopped looking for answers in church leaders and turned to community, but more importantly a Christ-loving gay community. Through it all, Tim remained so devout, so faithful and reticent in his search for the truth. His story will be inspiration for many other LGBTQIA+ Christians out there and I am so proud to see him thriving today!
‘Conversion Therapy Dropout’ is available for pre-order now and releases May 5, 2026.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith and Belonging by Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez is a brave, unflinching testimony about what it costs queer people to keep trying to belong in spaces that refuse to love them fully.
Rodriguez writes with heartbreaking clarity about years spent internalizing the lie that his longing for love was a sickness to be cured. From a so-called Christian therapist who treated desire like pathology, to shame-soaked “support” spaces that promised holiness and delivered harm, he captures how conversion therapy corrodes the soul. The author writes about how he was trying to kill a part of himself he hadn’t even had the chance to understand because he believed that’s what God required.
What makes this book especially powerful is its duality. By day, Rodriguez was a digital evangelist helping megachurches and Christian bands craft messages of belonging to attract new members. By night, he was quietly learning how to be free. The betrayal he experienced when a trusted pastor turned on him after learning he was gay becomes the emotional fault line of the book and the moment that pushed him deeper into conversion therapy, self-hatred, and years of unnecessary suffering.
This memoir opened my eyes to the depth and persistence of an unethical practice that is still legal in some places when pursued “voluntarily” for religious reasons and to the ripple effects it has on friendships, finances, mental health, and faith itself. This is a healing book for anyone standing at the painful intersection of faith and identity. It reminds us that if spirituality matters to you, you do not have to abandon yourself to keep God. Sometimes the most faithful act is choosing wholeness. I'm so proud of this author for sharing his story and I know so many others will be supported by his doing so.
Rodriguez writes with heartbreaking clarity about years spent internalizing the lie that his longing for love was a sickness to be cured. From a so-called Christian therapist who treated desire like pathology, to shame-soaked “support” spaces that promised holiness and delivered harm, he captures how conversion therapy corrodes the soul. The author writes about how he was trying to kill a part of himself he hadn’t even had the chance to understand because he believed that’s what God required.
What makes this book especially powerful is its duality. By day, Rodriguez was a digital evangelist helping megachurches and Christian bands craft messages of belonging to attract new members. By night, he was quietly learning how to be free. The betrayal he experienced when a trusted pastor turned on him after learning he was gay becomes the emotional fault line of the book and the moment that pushed him deeper into conversion therapy, self-hatred, and years of unnecessary suffering.
This memoir opened my eyes to the depth and persistence of an unethical practice that is still legal in some places when pursued “voluntarily” for religious reasons and to the ripple effects it has on friendships, finances, mental health, and faith itself. This is a healing book for anyone standing at the painful intersection of faith and identity. It reminds us that if spirituality matters to you, you do not have to abandon yourself to keep God. Sometimes the most faithful act is choosing wholeness. I'm so proud of this author for sharing his story and I know so many others will be supported by his doing so.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews