A daughter of the Asian American church wrestles with faith, exile, and belonging.
Being a Christian has nothing to do with being Chinese American--that's what Kristin T. Lee learned as a child. A fissure between her identity and what she was told to believe opened wide. In We Mend with Gold, she What if we can bridge the divide?
Lee describes both the breaking of her young faith and the sacred art of repair. She examines how immigrant churches often assimilate to Western theology, even as they offer crucial spaces of belonging. Through lyrical storytelling about her upbringing in Asian immigrant churches as well as in white evangelicalism, Lee wrestles with history, ancestral stories, and what it means to follow Jesus. What might it look like to expand beyond the scripts we've been given and bring our questions to God--as well as building solidarity with the marginalized?
Drawing on Black, Asian, and other minoritized theologians, Lee separates the theology of empire from what Jesus preached and lived. Writing of the fractures in our families, churches, and the world, Lee relies on the Japanese art of kintsugi to describe the resplendence of a faith that repairs but doesn't paper over. And she offers pieces of the Asian American experience--such as liminality, displacement, and exile--that attend to the breaking and the mending, the wounding and the healing. How might marginality bring us closer to God and others? What do we lose when we "make it"? And when we expand our notion of who belongs to our family, what do we gain?
We can repair the seams between our cultural identities and our faith, Lee claims. By leaving room for mystery, we encounter God's love. We mend the fractures--between and within us--with gold.
Kristin T. Lee is a writer whose work has appeared in Christianity Today and Sojourners, and a primary care physician serving Boston's Chinatown community. She writes about faith, culture, books, and solidarity at The Embers. She shares book reviews and recommendations on Instagram @ktlee.writes, where she also hosts the #AsianClassicsReadAlong group that highlights Asian and Asian diasporic literature. Lee's work is informed by her experiences as an adoptive mother, host to refugees, and friend to those affected by incarceration.
This book is for my 26-year-old self. There is a place for you at Jesus’ feet. Don’t let them tell you otherwise. And know that if you start looking, you will find others who feel the same way as you. Who are disturbed by certain constrictive theologies. Who feel unseen in the white normativity of the American evangelical church. Who read scripture through a lens of liberation and hope for the marginalized. Whose understanding of the world is driven by a deep knowledge of history. Who live in radical, joyful solidarity. I tell some of those stories here. I tell my own story here. If you sit in the pew each Sunday flinching at what the pastor says but trying to stay committed to community, if you have one foot out the door of the church, or if you have already left, I hope you will take a chance on this book. It’s not trying to convince you to believe again. It’s excising the Western, manmade constructs surrounding God from what is love and what is good. Those of us who feel like misfits are those who very much belong.
And for Asian Americans, this book also speaks to familial and ethnic dynamics that are often ignored by mainstream “Christian” books. It highlights the insights of Asian American theologians who bring unique perspectives to the work of understanding God and what it means to follow Jesus. Their words are surprising. They are fierce. They are refreshing. Come, drink and eat.
(This review is 100% biased because I wrote the book 🥰. But I do think it’s pretty good!)
I've been trying to dive into more nonfiction books lately and when I saw that someone downloaded this on my Libby, I thought - why not? I'm not overly religious or anything, so I tend to stay away from religious type books. Doesn't mean I never read them because sometimes I do depending on my mood... or the reading challenge I'm in. And yet, this one was interesting. The overall journey of finding that balance with who you are, your religion, and everything else is consistently hard - especially in today's world. Learning more about Kristin and what she went through was eye-opening and could be somewhat inspriring (to those who might need it).
What a joy and privilege it was to read Kristin’s book! She’s a fellow believer that I have connected with through the Instagram book community and when she asked if I would like a copy of her book, I was beyond honored!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading Kristin’s story. Our growing up years were SO similar in so many ways, yet vastly different in other ways. I could relate with so much of what she shared.
But I also was reading to learn as Kristin’s Asian heritage while growing up in American Evangelicalism was different to me. I think listening to others stories (and listening in general) is an area where we as Christians (and specially speaking as an American Christian) need to grow.
People’s stories are so powerful and so important and there is a lot from this book that I think the American church should take note of our failings in and where/how we can practically serve our brothers and sisters better.
Kristin and I don’t necessarily agree on everything, but I’m so thankful for the voice she has and the wisdom she shares from her own experience.
Thank you to Kristin Lee and the publisher for the gifted book!
I started this book mistakenly thinking it was a memoir - and while there are many personal stories throughout, Lee states in the intro that it’s really more of a conversation with other Asian Americans (identifying as Christian or not). I’m glad that I read it and expanded my understanding of how Asian cultures uniquely reflect God’s true nature.
I think this is a must read for everyone who grew up in an Asian-heritage/cultural church. Kristen challenges the teaching methods and applications of Christian theology in the context of an immigrant church, without shaming the church. A lot of the hypocrisy, racism, and expectations that I felt were present growing up in a Chinese-heritage church were beautifully explained and questions of how we can heal were beautifully outlined and discussed, with experiences and perspectives from different people. Kristen also dives into parallels between Asian American family dynamics and the church, which was so specific and relatable. Thank you Jane for the recommendation!
This is the book that I had been needing to read for years. Highly recommend especially if you often question the moral dilemma at the intersection of christianity and colonialism.
In the Japanese art of kintsugi, broken pottery is repaired with gold. It honors the brokenness and celebrates transformation. Connecting this to the immigrant experience, in which identity is broken and reformed into something new, is thoughtful and profound. I chose this book because I enjoy and appreciate @ktlee.writes' Instagram presence and her kindness online, but I did not expect to connect with it as deeply as I did. What I found was a moving and essential conversation about faith.
While I am not an immigrant (my family roots trace back to before the American Revolution), I have lived a nomadic expatriate life. I always knew I would return to America, but I did experience the disconnect of living away from home in a place where I neither understood the language nor the culture. Building a life on unfamiliar ground, in any form, calls for resilience. So, although this book was written specifically for the Asian American community, I found common experiences. I think anyone who reads it can find ways to connect with parts of the story. Please believe I do not intend to claim any immigrant’s story as my own; I do understand the differences are vast.
I was moved and inspired towards prayer and reflection by We Mend With Gold. This book asked only for humility and a willingness to listen as it examined universal truths. Longing, grief, faith, alienation, hope, and the search for belonging are not limited to any one group. Sometimes the most meaningful reading happens precisely when we are invited into a room that is not built for us and discover that, if we participate politely in the process, we will find something we needed to hear. That is one of the great strengths of Kristin T. Lee’s We Mend with Gold. Though her story is rooted in the Asian American Christian experience, its questions and answers reach far beyond those boundaries. Lee writes with tenderness and intelligence, and even as she names hurts particular to her community, she opens the door wide enough for other readers to step in and find themselves changed. That, to me, is the mark of a meaningful book: that it tells one story truthfully enough to illuminate a larger narrative.
If I have any quarrel with the book, I think Lee paints American evangelicals, and white American Christians in particular, with far too broad a brush. In reducing such a large and diverse body of believers to a political caricature, she overlooks the considerable good Christians of every race and background have done, often quietly and sacrificially, in communities across this country and beyond. To see the American Evangelical Church only through the lens of power, nationalism, or failure is to miss its deeper, more complicated truth. Like the Asian communities she so carefully defines and defends, American Christianity is not monolithic. It is diverse, imperfect, vibrant, and made up of people from every walk of life. It is full of people whose faith cannot be neatly flattened into a single version.
This is a book I will gladly recommend, written by an author I would happily spend more time with. I hope Kristin T. Lee continues to seek truth, ask hard questions, and write.
This was a case of meeting the right book at the right time. As I read the book I flew through it quickly only stopping to snap pics of great paragraphs and sharing them in my family chat room. I even would read aloud quotations in the evenings and say to my mother, “Listen to this! Isn’t it great?” Especially chapter four, which addresses the concept “when disillusionment frees us”, really connected with me. For a few years I’ve been hoarding my theological questions and concerns silently in my mind for fear of what people in my church community would think of me. The author says a church community should be an environment that encourages questions no matter how difficult they may be.
I’m not the intended primary audience for this work as I’m not an Asian American Christian. However, this book blessed me and excited me deeply. It has so much wisdom to share with anyone following a Christian journey. Lee explores ways that the modern church becomes a product of our larger culture in America instead of being inspired by the work of Jesus. Cultural emphasis of capitalism, wealth accumulation, success accumulation, white supremacy, male supremacy, vilification of poverty, preservation of the nuclear family, homophobia — these all create a church environment that is certainly harmful to Asian Americans. As Lee explores all these areas in detail it is easy to see how this pervasive issue of capitalistic white supremacy culture can negatively affect all Christians as it separates us from Jesus’s example. While the book focuses on lived experiences of Asian American Christians (both painful and liberatory narratives are included) anyone can connect with these testimonies. The book calls for us to do the difficult work of rooting out what is harmful from our Christian communities and from our personal faith walks as well. It is a difficult book in the sense that we may be quite comfortable cleaving to the pathways normalized by the culture at large. But this book is nothing if not a call to action. How can we live in a church that vilifies and alienates some of God’s family? How can we follow Jesus if we never come near to the margins of society?
I typically don’t read books related to theology and was a bit nervous this genre would feel too academic. That fear was totally misplaced. The writing style is very conversational and rooted in everyday people’s experiences. The author talks of her childhood family memories, her career experiences, and her times raising her kids. The book while extremely well-researched works hard to touch the accessibility point of a general reader. The book is rich with quotations from other theologians and historians that add clarity, not density. I felt like the book was a great reading list. I often stopped reading after a nice quotation so I could add a new title to my TBR.
This is a five star read, hands down. I hope that if you don’t normally read this genre you’ll still give the book a shot. This is a book not to be missed.
Thank you to Broadleaf Books for the advance readers copy.
In “We Mend with Gold,” Kristen Lee seeks to counter the theological lenses taught in evangelical American churches that come from predominately European contexts and theologians by setting forth an Asian theological lens, showing its unique contributions to Christianity globally. I think this book functions well as a sort of literature review of the work of many Asian theologians, especially over the last few decades. Though I listened to this in audio so I cannot see it for myself firsthand, Lee’s bibliography page provides a rich source for those who would like to delve deeper into resources from theologians of color whom they likely have not previously encountered.
Frankly, as a scholar and theologian myself, I was very impressed by Lee’s knowledge of the field as someone trained in the medical sciences without any theological degrees. She does a very good job. The main drawback for me is that I wonder if she covers such a large quantity of writers and resources that some of the content is given too cursory a description when a more thorough and nuanced explanation would be more helpful—particularly for readers who are entirely new to the topic. The parts of Lee’s writing that stuck out most to me were those in which she shared stories from her own experience. As a white American, these very personal experiences she offered helped me think about some things in new ways, and I’m thankful for how well she was able to articulate the strengths and challenges of being the child of parents from China/Hong Kong who immigrated to the United States, and how her particular social location has affected her Christian faith.
Overall, this is certainly a book I’d recommend to people, especially to my Christian Asian American friends, since I believe they are the intended audience. For my white American friends, I’d be most interested to see how those with no theological training would respond to the book. Because it is a bit of a mix of memoir and theological writing, the book can feel both fast and slow to read at the same time.
WE MEND WITH GOLD deeply explores the intersections between Asian American diaspora and Christianity from a Chinese American immigrant daughter's perspective.
"The idea that theology can and even should be done from a place of marginality rather than of centrality excites me."
Kristin opens the conversation about theology - from its origin in the patriarchy and Western values to its decolonization. Brimming with cultural identity and heritage, this book is the cultural and spiritual immersion that I longed for, in which by inviting us to enter her space, many of Kristin's personal experiences (such as Sunday Chinese classes) mirror my own. Kristin's diasporic experiences evoke a sense of belonging and I felt seen in the pages, including immigrant parenting and filial piety.
As the author is vulnerable about our brokenness in several degrees, Kristin unpacks theological deficiencies, always offering both sides of the coin for us to metabolize the American Christianity. This book will invite you to unlearn, will make you question in this journey in which we grieve and lament together, heal and feel gratitude, while also come to a cultural understanding and abide.
It's easy to sense the gentleness and care poured in these words. This book, or rather, Kristin's voice has the gift to highlight the fractures of our nature and attitudes and in this roller coaster of emotions, it makes me a better person, makes me yearn for simplicity paired with generosity.
WE MEND WITH GOLD is a journey of belonging, of Kristin (and us) claiming her/our Asian and American identity while experiencing the fullness of Christianity. It's a dense, insightful and powerful read that allows me to be proud of knowing Kristin in a more profound level. It's a rare gem that I cannot wait for everyone to read.
[ Gifted by the publisher. All opinions are my own ]
This book was horrible. I picked this book out of a lineup to get the AAPI (Asian And Pacific Islander) Heritage badge. I thought - hey, it's a book on Christianity, so this should be a good choice. Boy was I wrong. The first couple of chapters seemed to be going well, but by the time I reached chapter 4, things has seriously gone off the rails. Just to be sure I hadn't missed anything, I backed up and re-read chapter 3. The author described herself as being an anti-racist - the belief that other races were better than hers, but quickly turned to be a full on racist where she snubbed her nose on other races (except for blacks which she seemed to ally herself with).
She talked about migrating to the U.S. and doing everything she could to assimulate into the culture - you know, what you're supposed to do when arriving into a new land. But, then after a while, she started rejecting everything American. So different from my great grandfather's story of immigration and how proud he was to become an American.
She also went on to twist Jesus' teaching so much that they were unrecognizeable. She complained that a list of Christian books neglected to have any Asian authors - as if race had anything to do on whether someone wrote a solid book on Christianity. Clearly this book will never be on that list either.
BTW, the irony of picking a book from a curated list of books from a certain race has not escaped me.
Lastly, I pray that her understanding of Jesus' teachings would be better understood and that she would see herself as a member of God's Kingdom rather than worldly divides.
I came across We Mend With Gold at a time just as I'm doing a lot of dancing around the edges of rekindling my relationship with *something* spiritual, but with a huge concern regarding the problematic and loud voices of Evangelical Christianity in contemporary America. What I found within the pages of We Mend With Gold was an approachable and down-to-earth reminder that there is a place and a liberation in serving others. That there's a liberation and hope in finding God wherever you come to find him, whether that is out in nature or while being creative, and what we need more than ever is to build and be part of our local community.
Also, as a lover of memoirs, I appreciated how Kristen Lee reflected on her lived experiences as a second-generation immigrant, as a daughter, and as someone seeking to serve her community. While I'm not the primary audience for We Mend With Gold, I took so much away from this book. The chapters regarding parental relationships and helping your community, in particular, will really stick with me.
Lastly, I'm just glad I found this book when I did because it's helped me start to puzzle out the thoughts I've been having of late. It's not often that I have the inclination to highlight books, but I need to get a physical copy of this to reread and highlight, that's how much I loved this book.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an eArc in exchange for an honest review.
This is the book I wish had existed during my childhood. While I was reading it, it felt like Kristin was writing my own story. I felt so seen and heard. While this book is described as one for Asian American Christians, I think it's more accurate to say that it's a book for humanity—particularly those who have been marginalised and oppressed. As a fellow Asian American Christian, I experienced many of the ways American Christianity whitewashed my culture. The effects still linger to this day, to the extent that I feel disconnected from my heritage. I know more about European history than Taiwanese or Chinese history, and I feel the gap every day. There's nothing that can make up for what I lacked growing up because of the way white Christianity taught my parents how most aspects of their culture was demonic or heretical. Like Kristin pointed out, very little remains of the culture in Asian American churches, beyond food and language.
I would highly recommend everyone read this book, even if you're not Christian, even if you're not Asian or American. Kristin goes into detail about not only church history, but also history that I was not taught in school. This is an essential book that will enrich your understanding of ethnic differences, and why it matters so much to have that feeling of rootedness.
Lee's book moved me powerfully, because she has wrestled with so many of the same questions, identity tensions, theological issues, and frustration with the American church that I have. I used to long to make some of the bold choices that she has made in her life. Although I have quite happily left the faith of my childhood, nevertheless, Lee's book stirred up a lot for me: she has come to thoughtful, compassionate resolutions in ways I wish I had encountered decades ago. I love her vision of lived Christianity and Asian American theology, informed by and deeply respectful of the history and wisdom of Black and Native American/indigenous faith traditions. Although she remains actively Christian, and makes this clear throughout the book, her thoughtful and honest stories and calls to action are healing, inspirational, and galvanizing whether or not you still care to follow an often moribund faith tradition. Lee lays out a vision--in accessible language and an abundance of well-chosen metaphors--that has me reflecting on positive, bold, compassionate choices I can make in my own life, and for that, I am grateful, and willing to tolerate the explicitly Christian language.
Kristen T. Lee brings truth to the surface about the Asian American culture in We Mend with Gold. In her book Lee discusses the importance of family, not just parents and their children but multigenerational connection and relationships. Another important point was how Asian Americans were treated or regarded throughout history. These are just two of the many things about the Asian American community discussed in We Mend with Gold.
Before reading We Mend with Gold, I knew a little bit about Asian American culture. Kristen T. Lee presented information that confirmed what I already had some knowledge of and expanded upon it. The thing I loved most about this book is how relatable it is. Many of the things Lee discussed are not that different from other cultures. The way Asian immigrants were treated and regarded can be said about almost all of those who came to the United States in hopes of a better life. Though it is relatable, there are still parts that are distinct to Asian American culture and Lee does a wonderful job with both.
This is an incredibly helpful and well written book. The author writes with a gentle wisdom and a generosity toward herself and others. If you grew up in a strict religious environment, if you grew up in the 80s and 90s in evangelicalism, if you have been working to sift which parts of your faith you still find beautiful good and true and which parts were actually culture not truth, this is a wonderful book for you - whether or not you are also a child of recent immigrants, or Asian American. And for those of us not in those groups, this is also a wonderful book for deepening our empathy and understanding of experiences of so many others in our community. The emphasis of this book is on healing, not accusation, and the author manages to thread the needle between honesty and compassion for the flawed systems, forces and individuals that caused her pain. I'm so thankful to have it, and will return to it again. There is real depth here, and it's very well researched, with excellent references to other wonderful writers and thinkers.
I have read The Cross and the Lynching Tree by James Cone and The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen—two books that deeply marked me and helped shape my Christian faith. We Mend With Gold by Kristin T. Lee takes that lineage further, speaking directly to my lived experience as an immigrant, a first-generation college graduate, and a Black reader. I wish a book like this had been available to me before medical school—or even during it—but I’m grateful it has arrived when it did, offering language for healing and repair. I read an advance copy, and not only did I become a fan, I’ve been encouraging friends to read it as well so we can sit with it together, grow together, and heal one another. For anyone who has ever felt that the church was not a place for them, or who carries the weight of religious trauma, there is something here for you. These words hold care, honesty, and the possibility of restoration.
Kristin T. Lee's We Mend with Gold is perhaps the best book I've read which brings together thoughtful explorations on ethnicity and racial justice with theological (and accessible!) reflections for those who find themselves navigating hard questions connected to their faith backgrounds. Kristin tells her own story, while interacting with so many other stories, in a way that the book serves as a kindful helpful guide for those navigating questions about faith. While making a distinct mark in itself, the book conveys, in content and spirit, some of the favorite things I resonate with from authors like Dominique Gilliard, Rachel Held Evans, Jeff Chu and Beth Allison Barr.
I loved reading this book, and now I'm excited to read it with others.
With both Chinese Christianity and deconstruction acting as primary shaping forces in my life, this book was a breath of fresh air + healing to read. Lee does an amazing job of finding the balance between making space for deconstruction thoughts while also respecting the pull to remain in faith spaces. She does all this while ALSO explicitly outlining the connection between Chinese culture + identity to American evangelicalism. Her writing is so beautiful and resonant. Also loved all the references to diff books that shaped her own deconstruction journey! I’ve been waiting for a book like this
Part memoir, part Asian American constructive theology, We Mend with Gold explores experiences of faith in God in Christ that center Asian-American cultures and identity, honor both the unities and diversities of Asian American cultures, and push back against patriarchy and hetero-normitivity that are common is American churches (Asian and otherwise). Lee shares about her travels in the Way of Jesus that invite other Asian American Christians - and those that would learn and journey along side them - to faithfulness, freedom, healing, and justice, for ourselves, our families, and our broader communities.
I really enjoyed the topics discussed in this book. The author discusses her struggle with identity as a Chinese American, the child of immigrants, and a Christian. I enjoyed the parallels she drew with regards to her different struggles and how they were both the same and different.
I think the author touches on a lot of topics that are extremely relevant right now. I like how she isn't pushing her beliefs onto anyone, but instead telling the story of how she got to the beliefs she holds to. Rather than this being a lecture on what to believe and how to believe it, the author challenges readers on what they already believe. She also highlights a lot of issues in both politics and religion that hit pretty hard.
My main issue with this book is that it was so disorganized. Sometimes we were following chronology, sometimes we were following the thread of whatever topic she was currently discussing, and sometimes it was a mix of both. I struggled to follow at times because it was so difficult to track. The overarching story was missing. I think if this was presented as a series of essays on different topics told from the point of view of a Chinese American Christian, that would have been a much better layout for the book rather than a pseudo-memoir.
I honestly think this is one of the most important works of Asian American theology done at the popular level! I love how she drew from a wide spectrum of Asian voices (I especially loved the attention she gives the Filipino church) and it becomes a great jumping off point to connect with parts of my own heritage that I've felt disconnected to.
Additionally, as far as books on deconstruction go, this is the first I'd enthusiastically recommend given how your tone isn't "burn it all down" but on cherishing the good and using that to correct the bad.
This is the best book I've read that combines a thoughtful engagement on faith and ethnicity with the growing interest among many for a faith that values curiosity. It's wonderfully readable while being theologically rich. This book has changed how I read texts like the Bible and it's given me practical advice for how to become a better recipient of spiritual wisdom. This book is worth buying, reading closely and sharing with friends! :)
Shoutout to Goodreads AAPI Heritage category for helping me discover this book! I was not the intended audience for this book, and yet, I loved it. It was challenging and thought-provoking, interesting and eye opening. I really appreciated Kristin’s ideas and the way she explained her own experience in American Christianity, and how she has grown her faith into something greater. Super good!
The author writes with beautiful prose and engages in thoughtful, honest wrestling with American Christianity. I found this book to be raw and honest as well as hopeful.
not the target audience as i am neither christian or asian, not a bad read with a lot of history that i didn’t know about and a lot of love for god and jesus that i blissfully ignored
As an Asian American Christian who has been on my own journey of deconstructing and reconstructing my faith as I seek to follow Jesus, I was immediately drawn in by Kristin Lee’s story. Even though our journeys are different, reading We Mend with Gold felt like having a long, healing conversation with somebody who gets it—someone who offers a way forward that, far from giving up on Jesus, actually helps us to know Jesus better for who he truly is.
Kristin is an exquisite writer! I love the way she skillfully interweaves stories from her own life with thoughtful theological reflections, offering us a book that is beautifully written, refreshingly honest, and warmly inviting even as it wrestles with difficult truths.
This book is not only for Asian American Christians (though what a gift it is to us!), but a timely gift to everyone wrestling with how to follow Jesus in the face of what American Christianity has become. We Mend with Gold is an incredible guide and companion for the journey. One of my favorite books of 2026—highly recommended!