Russian Optimism: Dark Nursery Rhymes To Cheer You Right Up

by Ben Rosenfeld (Editor), Dov Smiley (Illustrations), Chris James (Design)

Russian Optimism: Dark Nursery Rhymes To Cheer You Right Up is an illustrated coffee table book of thirty of Russia's most horrifically hysterical nursery rhymes translated for an English speaking audience. Each rhyme is 2-4 lines, with an innocent title and a horrible ending. Each rhyme is accompanied by a brightly colored yet twisted illustration of the scenario described to add humor. Each two-page layout has the illustration on one side, and the title of the rhyme, the English text, the Russian text and the Russian transliteration (using English letters) on the other. For example, The Woods: "A little boy found a machine gun. Nothing lives in the woods anymore." The rhymes are grouped in seven ironically titled chapters: Moral Messages, Parenting Pointers, Classic Cooking, Aquatic Adventures, Close Calls, Cheery Children and Explosive Endings.

Genres: Humor

68 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2015

About the author

Ben Rosenfeld is the co-author of the illustrated book "New Parent Smell: Funny Thoughts on Pregnancy, Newborns and Tots" as well as the creator of the book "Russian Optimism: Dark Nursery Rhymes To Cheer You Right Up." The hardcover of Russian Optimism has spent time in Amazon's Top 20 Best Sellers for Dark Humor and the Kindle eBook has been in Amazon's Top 5 for Humor.

Ben Rosenfeld is a quirky immigrant whose comedy can be best described as “playfully dark, seriously smart.” Ben’s comedy blends his family’s experience as Russian Jewish immigrants in America with his philosophical beliefs, political observations and unique characters.

Ben has been seen on BuzzFeedVideo and is slightly “TikTok famous” with over 170K followers and 6M likes. He’s also appeared on FOX’s Laughs, Travel Channel’s Mysteries At The Museum, CBS This Morning, Nat Geo’s Brain Games, Netflix’s Brainchild, NPR’s Weekend Edition, SiriusXM Radio, The New York Post and been featured as TimeOut New York’s Joke of the Week.

Ben’s latest video special "Don't Shake Your Miracle" is available on Amazon Prime and he has four comedy albums including the Amazon #1 best selling comedy album Don’t Shake Your Miracle (2020) and the iTunes #1 best selling comedy album The United States of Russia (2018).

You can see more of Ben at http://www.BigBenComedy.com and learn more about his books at http://www.NewParentSmell.com and http://www.RussianOptimism.com

Reviews

[karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book is a collection of very short russian nursery rhymes, illustrated and presented in the original cyrillic followed by the english transliteration so you can appreciate the intended rhyme scheme, and also in english so you can, you know, actually understand it if you are not this specific shade of polyglot. the english translations sacrifice the rhyme scheme in favor of the content of these delightful nuggets, which i think is always the best way to go, and if you want to read an awesome book about what a slippery bitch translation is, you should check out Le Ton beau de Marot: In Praise of the Music of Language.

there is a lot more emphasis on cannibalism here than i had anticipated, and a willingness to go grimmer than grimm. the only reason i didn't give this a higher rating is because for the most part, the artwork wasn't to my personal taste, although i have included a couple of my favorite illustrations. i also wish it had been much much longer than thirty rhymes and had included some historical context and researchy bits because the written content was a jaw-droppingly revealing journey into a culture that has made bleak into an art form.

from the introduction:

Generally speaking, Americans expect each generation to accomplish more than the previous one. Russians expect each generation to suffer and be miserable. In reality, we all suffer the same, but Americans view suffering as a temporary setback whereas Russians see it as inevitable.

with that in mind, enjoy a few of these completely horrific nursery rhymes

The Bright Side

In my childhood, my mom gouged out my eyes,
So that I wouldn't find the jam.
Now I don't watch movies and I don't read fairy tales,
But on the bright side, I smell and hear really well.

Don't Ask Stupid Questions

I asked Peter the electrician,
"Why is there copper wire around your neck?"
He didn't respond,
His boots just swayed quietly.

The Old Lawnmower

An old man was cutting the lawn,
His blade caught a pair of lovers.
The red blood covered the grass,
Don't fuck in the morning.

The Houseguests

A little girl asked her mom for a candy.
Her mom said, "Put your fingers in the electrical socket!"
Her dress burnt up, her bones charred,
For a long time, the houseguests laughed at this prank.

Cherries

The kids stole some cherries from a yard.
Grandma Vera was very happy:
Thankfully she'd coated the trees with poison,
The village will have a lot of memorial services.

A Cyprus Vacation

In the sky, a big plane flies,
It's bringing a bunch of people to Cyprus.
In one suitcase, something is ticking,
It's unlikely the plane will be found in the ocean.

Father and Son



A dad brought his son hunting.
He loaded his rifle with hollow point bullets.
He shot at the wolf, but hit his son.
"What a tragedy, I wasted a bullet!"

Windy Day



A little boy inflated a large balloon,
A gust of strong wind blew,
A man watched the boy disappear but didn't rush over,
No one has seen the boy since.

The Woods



A little boy found a machine gun
Nothing lives in the woods anymore.

The Snorer

A daughter really loved her dad,
She turned on the gas stove.
Dad slept in the adjacent room,
He used to snore, now he stopped.

This Last One Makes No Sense

A little boy quietly played in the kitchen.
A bulldozer came up from behind.
"A bulldozer in the kitchen? Haha! That's bullshit!"
You're laughing? Okay, laugh. But the boy is dead.

enjoy your day, kids!

come to my blog!

[David Gustafson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Need a conversation starter when you invite that special someone over on that all-important first date or want to make a lasting impression on your future in-laws?
Ben Rosenfeld's hilarious, illustrated, coffee table book, "Russian Optimism: Dark Nursery Rymes to Cheer You Right Up" will leave an indelible impression on your soul if not a lasting mark on your upper lip and scare the living Hell out of the nosey neighbors.

This collection of thirty short fables will generate an ever-expanding smile on the reader's face and help explain why Russians have such a legendary drinking problem.

One little hook from this dystopian collection is all you need;

"A little boy found a machine gun
Nothing lives in the woods anymore."

[Théo d'Or]

Whether the glass is half full or half empty, who cares.. All I want to know is in which of the two there is more to drink.

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is wrong in so many ways, If you are easily shocked or offended then this is the perfect book for you. The colourful pictures make it ideal to read to your children.

I didn't laugh out loud whilst reading this, they were all quiet inside-my-head-chuckles... just in case the wife asked what I was laughing at.

My favourite has to be the boy who finds a machine gun in the woods.

[Laura Cushing · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hillarious, wrong, and Russian- what more can you ask for in your humor?

Colorful pictures and translations.

My favorite is a very short one--

"A little boy found a machine gun.
Nothing lives in the woods anymore."

[Auntie Raye-Raye · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, that's disturbing

If you have deranged little kids, read them this colorful and disturbing book.

They will think that it is fantastic.

[John (JP) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredibly funny and sick book in the tradition of Mad Magazine. It does a great job of contrasting American optimism and Russian pessimism ." Americans expect each generation to accomplish more than the previous one. Russians except each generation to suffer and be miserable" This book is that contrast. One folk tale sums up the book's world view.

The Bright side

In my childhood, mom gouged out my eyes , So I would not find the jam. Now I don't watch movies and don't read fairy tales , But on the bright side , I smell and hear very well.

If you liked that story then this book is for you. Its series of beautifully illustrated vignettes written in Latin (English) and Cyrillic (Russian) alphabets. For more works by the authors and illustrators go to www.russianoptimism.com .

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author's family immigrated from Russia when he was a young child. He speaks Russian and English. In his one page intro, we learn this along with the day he (as an adult) went to his dad feeling low, and his dad started telling him Russian nursery rhymes. The author explained that America and Russia have a very culturally different outlook on life - America being much more optimistic. So the Russian nursery rhymes are pretty horrific and as his father told them, the author laughed and laughed, thinking, My life is not so bad.

This book is strangely entertaining!

[Leslie aka StoreyBook Reviews · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a rather interesting book. I don't know that I have read dark humor before but thought I would check this one out since each "chapter" was a short nursery rhyme. I thought some of the rhymes were pretty good and others were downright disturbing. But that is why it is called Dark Humor.

It all depends on what tickles your funny bone

[Marcus · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've been on a bit of a Russian kick recently and this little book was a great way to practice reading the Cyrillic alphabet. The rhymes themselves are great examples of dark humour, but a lot of the jokes fell flat. They weren't even anti-jokes, just really, really bleak statements. I'd borrow this but not go out of my way to buy it.