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Sugar Pill Duet #1
Sucker Love
Noel
I’m impossible to love.
At least, that’s what my ex-boyfriend said after he moved out and left me short on next month’s rent. Luckily, I've found a sexy solution in the form of Luca, a tattoo artist looking for a place to crash. He’s older, hot, a little awkward…and he’s also in the middle of a divorce.
Whatever. All I know is, my new roommate leaves me absolutely breathless. Our arrangement benefits us in more ways than one...as long as I can keep it together. He’s sweeter than I deserve, but that’s only because he doesn’t know how broken I really am. Once he figures that out, he'll leave.
Everybody does.
Luca
Meeting someone like Noel is the last thing I expect after separating from my wife. But I can’t help being drawn to him. He’s gorgeous, talented, and unapologetically himself—something I’ve struggled with my entire life.
Moving in with him may be impulsive, but it is convenient. And our chemistry is next level. Yeah, he’s bit of a brat, but this complicated man is showing me everything I’ve denied myself for years. Falling for him feels almost inevitable.
But when my past threatens everything, it’s easy to fall back into familiar patterns—and playing it safe could cost me the one person who’s ever really seen me.
SUCKER LOVE is a soft D/s, hurt/comfort MM romance between a bold art student and a closeted tattoo artist. Centering BPD representation against the vibrant backdrop of Boston, Massachusetts, it's a love story brimming with angst, drama, and messy desire.
This is Book 1 in the Sugar Pill Duet. Noel and Luca's story concludes in Book 2, Swallow. Please see the Author's Note or website for content guidance.
I’m impossible to love.
At least, that’s what my ex-boyfriend said after he moved out and left me short on next month’s rent. Luckily, I've found a sexy solution in the form of Luca, a tattoo artist looking for a place to crash. He’s older, hot, a little awkward…and he’s also in the middle of a divorce.
Whatever. All I know is, my new roommate leaves me absolutely breathless. Our arrangement benefits us in more ways than one...as long as I can keep it together. He’s sweeter than I deserve, but that’s only because he doesn’t know how broken I really am. Once he figures that out, he'll leave.
Everybody does.
Luca
Meeting someone like Noel is the last thing I expect after separating from my wife. But I can’t help being drawn to him. He’s gorgeous, talented, and unapologetically himself—something I’ve struggled with my entire life.
Moving in with him may be impulsive, but it is convenient. And our chemistry is next level. Yeah, he’s bit of a brat, but this complicated man is showing me everything I’ve denied myself for years. Falling for him feels almost inevitable.
But when my past threatens everything, it’s easy to fall back into familiar patterns—and playing it safe could cost me the one person who’s ever really seen me.
SUCKER LOVE is a soft D/s, hurt/comfort MM romance between a bold art student and a closeted tattoo artist. Centering BPD representation against the vibrant backdrop of Boston, Massachusetts, it's a love story brimming with angst, drama, and messy desire.
This is Book 1 in the Sugar Pill Duet. Noel and Luca's story concludes in Book 2, Swallow. Please see the Author's Note or website for content guidance.
370 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 28, 2025
47 people are currently reading
279 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews
November 20, 2025
Edit 5/10/25
After finishing Swallow I needed to come back here and say, all this pain was worth it!
________________________________________________________________________
This is kismet, fate, whatever you want to call it—not that I believe in that sort of thing. But two guys on the rebound, both in need of resolving their living situations, walk into a bar. . .
The Vibes:
-Debut novel / Beautiful writing
-Duet – ends with painful cliffhanger
-Age gap
-Soft Dom/sub
-Almost-hookups to roommates-with-benefits to more
-Hurt/comfort
-BPD rep
-Amelia the dog, who is basically a lazy cat in disguise
I’m very confused about how to rate this book, especially after that ending. I struggled, I raged, I pulled my hair… but I also liked it?! I honestly don’t know how to feel, so I’ll leave this unrated until Book 2.
✨ What Worked:
Noel is drowning in self-doubt — he feels "impossible to love," especially after being left by his ex and hitting a financial wall. Enter Luca, a tattoo artist mid-divorce, older and awkward but somehow perfect for Noel. Their connection blooms into something unexpected, raw, and rooted in a soft Dom/sub dynamic that feels electric.
Some people don’t just like to be told what to do — they need it. Noel is that person. And Luca, after hiding his true self in a straight marriage for 7 years, is discovering just how badly he wants to take control and care for Noel. The result is a dynamic that is filthy, intense, and brimming with that possessive "mine, yours" energy.
Yes, it’s fast. But emotionally, it still works. They see each other — baggage and all — and that’s rare.
And one extremely positive side note: Noel is descrived as looking like Brian Molko from Placebo — and Luca even calls him his Stunt Girl (!!!). As a lifelong Placebo fan, that gave this book extra points just for existing in the same vibe. Obsessed. ****
💥 Major Rage Triggers:
Let’s talk about Luca.
He’s older. Supposedly wiser. But he is a coward. He hides behind a loveless marriage for 7 years because he’s afraid of his bigoted father, then — AFTER his wife initiates divorce — asks her to pretend they’re still together for three more months. For what? So he doesn’t have to tell his daddy? Sir, I will buy you a backbone off Temu.
And the way he treats Noel... it’s gutting. Here’s just a taste:
“You know this is important to me, right?” he says. “Reconnecting with people like him, old friends.”
“Did you know he was going to be here?”
“No, and that’s not the point... you’re going to throw a fit about it and run off because, what, you weren’t the center of attention for five minutes?”
“That’s not fair.”
“Then grow up, Noel. You cannot act like this around my friends. It’s embarrassing.”
Excuse me????
Later, this absolute peach of a man says:
“You are being delusional, Noel.”
And poor Noel reacts like he’s been slapped — because emotionally, he has. And Luca? He immediately tries to backpedal:
“No, Noel, I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
But it’s too late. Because those words land like knives.
And Luca… never really apologizes. He brushes things off. Demands understanding. Even weaponizes his own trauma to excuse his selfishness.
He tells Noel he loves him — and then turns around and treats him like a tantrum-throwing child. Luca’s emotional inconsistency is honestly painful to read.
🧠 The Big Conflict:
Noel may be unstable, but at least he’s consistent. He shows up with all his flaws, with no mask.
Luca? He’s the walking contradiction. Sweet and soft one moment, cruel and callous the next. He says things like:
“You’re embarrassing.”
“You’re delusional.”
“Grow up.”
To someone with deep abandonment trauma. Who literally feels like a burden all the time. It’s cruel. And even worse — he acts like Noel is the problem.
🤬 That Ending Though
When I saw where it was going, I felt sick. And then the actual solution Luca proposed? I couldn’t believe it. It’s selfish. It’s cruel. And the worst part?
Noel would still say yes if Luca came back.
Because he loves him. Because he always says yes. Because people like Noel think love means accepting crumbs.
😵 Final Thoughts:
Do I hate Luca? Or do I love him?
Maybe both.
At his core, I think he does want to be better. But right now, he’s not. He hurts Noel repeatedly — and while some of it might come from fear or trauma, that doesn’t make it okay.
He is a walking emotional whiplash.
I love him. I hate him.
And that’s why I need Book 2.
I need — no, I DEMAND — groveling. Crawling. Luca licking the floor Noel walks on. Or else.
❣️Book Safety & Content
-Cheating:No
-OM/OW Drama:No (there's mention of Luca’s ex wife, and two exes in the past. One of them appears and is all drunk over Luca but he pushes him away)
-Third-Act Breakup:Yes
-Role Dynamics: strict roles
-POV: 1st person (dual)
-Format: Duet (ends WTF cliffhanger)
-Angst Level: Medium, but frustration levels are stupidly high!
-Spice Level: Medium high
After finishing Swallow I needed to come back here and say, all this pain was worth it!
________________________________________________________________________
This is kismet, fate, whatever you want to call it—not that I believe in that sort of thing. But two guys on the rebound, both in need of resolving their living situations, walk into a bar. . .
The Vibes:
-Debut novel / Beautiful writing
-Duet – ends with painful cliffhanger
-Age gap
-Soft Dom/sub
-Almost-hookups to roommates-with-benefits to more
-Hurt/comfort
-BPD rep
-Amelia the dog, who is basically a lazy cat in disguise
I’m very confused about how to rate this book, especially after that ending. I struggled, I raged, I pulled my hair… but I also liked it?! I honestly don’t know how to feel, so I’ll leave this unrated until Book 2.
✨ What Worked:
Noel is drowning in self-doubt — he feels "impossible to love," especially after being left by his ex and hitting a financial wall. Enter Luca, a tattoo artist mid-divorce, older and awkward but somehow perfect for Noel. Their connection blooms into something unexpected, raw, and rooted in a soft Dom/sub dynamic that feels electric.
Some people don’t just like to be told what to do — they need it. Noel is that person. And Luca, after hiding his true self in a straight marriage for 7 years, is discovering just how badly he wants to take control and care for Noel. The result is a dynamic that is filthy, intense, and brimming with that possessive "mine, yours" energy.
Yes, it’s fast. But emotionally, it still works. They see each other — baggage and all — and that’s rare.
And one extremely positive side note: Noel is descrived as looking like Brian Molko from Placebo — and Luca even calls him his Stunt Girl (!!!). As a lifelong Placebo fan, that gave this book extra points just for existing in the same vibe. Obsessed. ****
💥 Major Rage Triggers:
Let’s talk about Luca.
He’s older. Supposedly wiser. But he is a coward. He hides behind a loveless marriage for 7 years because he’s afraid of his bigoted father, then — AFTER his wife initiates divorce — asks her to pretend they’re still together for three more months. For what? So he doesn’t have to tell his daddy? Sir, I will buy you a backbone off Temu.
And the way he treats Noel... it’s gutting. Here’s just a taste:
“You know this is important to me, right?” he says. “Reconnecting with people like him, old friends.”
“Did you know he was going to be here?”
“No, and that’s not the point... you’re going to throw a fit about it and run off because, what, you weren’t the center of attention for five minutes?”
“That’s not fair.”
“Then grow up, Noel. You cannot act like this around my friends. It’s embarrassing.”
Excuse me????
Later, this absolute peach of a man says:
“You are being delusional, Noel.”
And poor Noel reacts like he’s been slapped — because emotionally, he has. And Luca? He immediately tries to backpedal:
“No, Noel, I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
But it’s too late. Because those words land like knives.
And Luca… never really apologizes. He brushes things off. Demands understanding. Even weaponizes his own trauma to excuse his selfishness.
He tells Noel he loves him — and then turns around and treats him like a tantrum-throwing child. Luca’s emotional inconsistency is honestly painful to read.
🧠 The Big Conflict:
Noel may be unstable, but at least he’s consistent. He shows up with all his flaws, with no mask.
Luca? He’s the walking contradiction. Sweet and soft one moment, cruel and callous the next. He says things like:
“You’re embarrassing.”
“You’re delusional.”
“Grow up.”
To someone with deep abandonment trauma. Who literally feels like a burden all the time. It’s cruel. And even worse — he acts like Noel is the problem.
🤬 That Ending Though
When I saw where it was going, I felt sick. And then the actual solution Luca proposed? I couldn’t believe it. It’s selfish. It’s cruel. And the worst part?
Noel would still say yes if Luca came back.
Because he loves him. Because he always says yes. Because people like Noel think love means accepting crumbs.
😵 Final Thoughts:
Do I hate Luca? Or do I love him?
Maybe both.
At his core, I think he does want to be better. But right now, he’s not. He hurts Noel repeatedly — and while some of it might come from fear or trauma, that doesn’t make it okay.
He is a walking emotional whiplash.
I love him. I hate him.
And that’s why I need Book 2.
I need — no, I DEMAND — groveling. Crawling. Luca licking the floor Noel walks on. Or else.
❣️Book Safety & Content
-Cheating:No
-OM/OW Drama:No (there's mention of Luca’s ex wife, and two exes in the past. One of them appears and is all drunk over Luca but he pushes him away)
-Third-Act Breakup:Yes
-Role Dynamics: strict roles
-POV: 1st person (dual)
-Format: Duet (ends WTF cliffhanger)
-Angst Level: Medium, but frustration levels are stupidly high!
-Spice Level: Medium high
November 20, 2025
Holy fuck this was good.
This book ripped my heart out multiple times and I kept coming back for MORE. Risa you are incredible.
Luca + Noel are terrible, messy, imperfect, and unstable — together and apart from each other. That's what makes this SO GOOD. It's so raw and venerable. Emotional, mental health rep that made me think of my own family and spicy scenes that well, make me think of other things.
The ending? DELICIOUS. Thank you for breaking my heart, Risa.
This book ripped my heart out multiple times and I kept coming back for MORE. Risa you are incredible.
Luca + Noel are terrible, messy, imperfect, and unstable — together and apart from each other. That's what makes this SO GOOD. It's so raw and venerable. Emotional, mental health rep that made me think of my own family and spicy scenes that well, make me think of other things.
The ending? DELICIOUS. Thank you for breaking my heart, Risa.
June 23, 2025
I received an arc in exchange for an honest review. And honestly, my honesty is gonna sound more like a love letter to Sucker Love (and Risa Cruise). Because it is.
This is, without a doubt, an absolutely stunning debut by Risa Cruise. It’s of my top reads of 2025–if not one of my favourite books of all time (and I’ve read a few). And let me say this again: this is a debut. Keep reminding yourself this as you read, because it’s easy to assume that this is the work of an established, best selling author. It’s that good.
Right off the bat, Cruise’s connection to their characters is unmistakable. The utmost care is taken with their individual conflicts. Luca begins the story a bit awkward, a fish out of water, trying to uncover the long-buried remains of his queer identity after a failed marriage. He meets the unapologetically queer Noel, who lives his life with a courage that inspires Luca to do the same. In return, Luca gently coaxes the soft vulnerability hidden beneath Noel’s tough as nails, scrappy survivor veneer to the surface. They are both on the rebound, with nine years between them, but against all odds (and with some mutually convenient living arrangements), find themselves in each other.
The age gap isn’t a large one, but the more problematic part of an age gap isn’t always the number of years but the disparity in power. The power dynamic is subverted with Noel and Luca; it’s Noel’s apartment that Luca moves into. It’s Noel’s strength of identity that guides Luca. But it’s not one sided. When Noel struggles with the emotional ups and downs of his BPD, it’s Luca’s calm and gentle strength that he draws from. They benefit and complement each other.
The conclusion, while shattering and heartbreaking, feels necessary. Their love story deserves to be done right, and the flexibility of a duet allows the space for these complex characters to unravel their unhealthy coping mechanisms, and to grow and learn and move forward. I’m so excited to explore their relationship in book 2, and see how each of them navigate the road ahead after learning the lessons of Sucker Love.
The strength of Cruise’s writing lies in their characters. They emerge, fully formed, onto the page, so rich and full of life and complexity that you have a hard time believing they aren’t real people. They are genuinely sympathetic; there’s never a time where you’re fuming because a character acted contrary to their morals or ideals just to advance the plot or force a conflict. When presented with adversity, both characters act within the bounds of their established identities. The reader is effortlessly pulled into the story through these authentically flawed characters, and you have to keep turning the pages to see where they lead you. Cruise also has a grasp on trauma and angst that I’ve only ever seen from a small number of talented writers.
Both POVs have a unique voice. Noel is pure chaos and the writing style reflects this, loosening up punctuation rules so that Noel’s voice is a sardonic stream of consciousness that easily springboards into emotionally charged, visceral breakdowns. Luca’s voice is older, wiser and more mature, but still somehow manages to balance Luca’s raw, dominant sexuality with an awkward, fumbling innocence that is endearing.
And that’s the genius of Risa Cruise—characters that manage to straddle the line between vicious and vulnerable, bumbling and dominant. As a reader, you love them and support them—even if you don’t agree with them. Their characters could commit murder in cold blood and you’d be right there, hiding the murder weapon, helping them bury the body and protesting to all within earshot that they are innocent, damnit!
The BPD representation in this book is unmatched. Not only did Cruise manage to portray BPD authentically and realistically, but it was also so damn reasonable. I understood and felt everything alongside Noel; his emotions are so vivid and visceral that they leap off the page and pull you down into the trenches with him. And when his disconsolate despair reaches choking point, suddenly Amelia the greyhound appears with her snuffly wet nose and bandana and little feet booties and Noel’s covering his hands with his sleeves so the texture of his band aids doesn’t bother her. It’s so damn thoughtful and adorable that you’re thinking yessss Noel, everyone deserves your unbridled rage…right after snuggles with Amelia.
Luca’s long-suffering ex wife Demi deserves a special mention here. It’s so easy to demonise the ex wife and paint her as the clear antagonist in storytelling, but in doing so misses a fantastic opportunity to write deep and realistically flawed female characters. However, Cruise understands this and doesn’t reduce Demi to a two dimensional creature of unfounded evil. Her motivations are clear and sympathetic: she wants the support of her family during a difficult time, and she is entitled to that. In refusing to be a doormat for Luca, she calls him on his shit and provides an anchor point where the reader sees, for the first time, the impact of Luca’s selfishness. Luca’s expectation that Demi keep their divorce a secret from their respective families foreshadows the selfishness and ignorance he exhibits in the conclusion. Luca wants his cake and to eat it, too. And for someone who has repeatedly laid themselves down for the sake of others, this route makes sense to him. Luca’s life of sacrifice has distorted his reality so much that he can’t see the enormity of what he’s asking.
In my opinion, it’s only a matter of time before Risa Cruise’s name is displayed alongside other greats in MM romance like Alexis Hall, Cat Sebastian, Emmy Sanders, Rachel Reid, Tal Bauer etc. Sucker Love is the debut standard to which I will hang my hat on and aspire to in my own scribblings.
Read this book. Pre-order it. Buy it. Get the signed copy. Follow the author. Support talented indie writers. And remember the name Risa Cruise. 🏳️🌈
Come for me, Stuntgirl.
This is, without a doubt, an absolutely stunning debut by Risa Cruise. It’s of my top reads of 2025–if not one of my favourite books of all time (and I’ve read a few). And let me say this again: this is a debut. Keep reminding yourself this as you read, because it’s easy to assume that this is the work of an established, best selling author. It’s that good.
Right off the bat, Cruise’s connection to their characters is unmistakable. The utmost care is taken with their individual conflicts. Luca begins the story a bit awkward, a fish out of water, trying to uncover the long-buried remains of his queer identity after a failed marriage. He meets the unapologetically queer Noel, who lives his life with a courage that inspires Luca to do the same. In return, Luca gently coaxes the soft vulnerability hidden beneath Noel’s tough as nails, scrappy survivor veneer to the surface. They are both on the rebound, with nine years between them, but against all odds (and with some mutually convenient living arrangements), find themselves in each other.
The age gap isn’t a large one, but the more problematic part of an age gap isn’t always the number of years but the disparity in power. The power dynamic is subverted with Noel and Luca; it’s Noel’s apartment that Luca moves into. It’s Noel’s strength of identity that guides Luca. But it’s not one sided. When Noel struggles with the emotional ups and downs of his BPD, it’s Luca’s calm and gentle strength that he draws from. They benefit and complement each other.
The conclusion, while shattering and heartbreaking, feels necessary. Their love story deserves to be done right, and the flexibility of a duet allows the space for these complex characters to unravel their unhealthy coping mechanisms, and to grow and learn and move forward. I’m so excited to explore their relationship in book 2, and see how each of them navigate the road ahead after learning the lessons of Sucker Love.
The strength of Cruise’s writing lies in their characters. They emerge, fully formed, onto the page, so rich and full of life and complexity that you have a hard time believing they aren’t real people. They are genuinely sympathetic; there’s never a time where you’re fuming because a character acted contrary to their morals or ideals just to advance the plot or force a conflict. When presented with adversity, both characters act within the bounds of their established identities. The reader is effortlessly pulled into the story through these authentically flawed characters, and you have to keep turning the pages to see where they lead you. Cruise also has a grasp on trauma and angst that I’ve only ever seen from a small number of talented writers.
Both POVs have a unique voice. Noel is pure chaos and the writing style reflects this, loosening up punctuation rules so that Noel’s voice is a sardonic stream of consciousness that easily springboards into emotionally charged, visceral breakdowns. Luca’s voice is older, wiser and more mature, but still somehow manages to balance Luca’s raw, dominant sexuality with an awkward, fumbling innocence that is endearing.
And that’s the genius of Risa Cruise—characters that manage to straddle the line between vicious and vulnerable, bumbling and dominant. As a reader, you love them and support them—even if you don’t agree with them. Their characters could commit murder in cold blood and you’d be right there, hiding the murder weapon, helping them bury the body and protesting to all within earshot that they are innocent, damnit!
The BPD representation in this book is unmatched. Not only did Cruise manage to portray BPD authentically and realistically, but it was also so damn reasonable. I understood and felt everything alongside Noel; his emotions are so vivid and visceral that they leap off the page and pull you down into the trenches with him. And when his disconsolate despair reaches choking point, suddenly Amelia the greyhound appears with her snuffly wet nose and bandana and little feet booties and Noel’s covering his hands with his sleeves so the texture of his band aids doesn’t bother her. It’s so damn thoughtful and adorable that you’re thinking yessss Noel, everyone deserves your unbridled rage…right after snuggles with Amelia.
Luca’s long-suffering ex wife Demi deserves a special mention here. It’s so easy to demonise the ex wife and paint her as the clear antagonist in storytelling, but in doing so misses a fantastic opportunity to write deep and realistically flawed female characters. However, Cruise understands this and doesn’t reduce Demi to a two dimensional creature of unfounded evil. Her motivations are clear and sympathetic: she wants the support of her family during a difficult time, and she is entitled to that. In refusing to be a doormat for Luca, she calls him on his shit and provides an anchor point where the reader sees, for the first time, the impact of Luca’s selfishness. Luca’s expectation that Demi keep their divorce a secret from their respective families foreshadows the selfishness and ignorance he exhibits in the conclusion. Luca wants his cake and to eat it, too. And for someone who has repeatedly laid themselves down for the sake of others, this route makes sense to him. Luca’s life of sacrifice has distorted his reality so much that he can’t see the enormity of what he’s asking.
In my opinion, it’s only a matter of time before Risa Cruise’s name is displayed alongside other greats in MM romance like Alexis Hall, Cat Sebastian, Emmy Sanders, Rachel Reid, Tal Bauer etc. Sucker Love is the debut standard to which I will hang my hat on and aspire to in my own scribblings.
Read this book. Pre-order it. Buy it. Get the signed copy. Follow the author. Support talented indie writers. And remember the name Risa Cruise. 🏳️🌈
Come for me, Stuntgirl.
July 28, 2025
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.5 stars
Sucker Love is the first book in the Sugar Pill duet by Rise Cruise and I was really blown away by this debut story. It is heavily character driven with wonderful development of both Luca and Noel. The story is emotional and intense, super sexy, and had me totally drawn in from the beginning.
I found them fascinating and the story so engrossing, I could hardly put it down. I am quite blown away that this is a debut book, as the writing is just excellent and the characters so well developed. I am so looking forward to the conclusion and can’t recommend this story enough.
Read Jay’s review in its entirety here.
4.5 stars
Sucker Love is the first book in the Sugar Pill duet by Rise Cruise and I was really blown away by this debut story. It is heavily character driven with wonderful development of both Luca and Noel. The story is emotional and intense, super sexy, and had me totally drawn in from the beginning.
I found them fascinating and the story so engrossing, I could hardly put it down. I am quite blown away that this is a debut book, as the writing is just excellent and the characters so well developed. I am so looking forward to the conclusion and can’t recommend this story enough.
Read Jay’s review in its entirety here.
October 12, 2025
RISAAA I NEED TO TALK WITH YOU!!!
cause that ending broke me
I'm utterly impressed by this debut novel. The characters and their love are messy, far from perfect and the author is not scared to touch deep or difficult themes. I have only positive words for the way the BPD rep was written.
I'm mad at myself for not being able to jump into Swallow this very next minute, but I can't wait to see how their story is going to unfold.
Tropes:
Roommates
Closeted mmc x mmc who's out
Opposites
Soft Dom x bratty sub
tattoo artist x artist
age gap (8 years)
Info:
Names: Luca and Noel
Ages: 31 and 22-23
nicknames: /, stunt girl or baby
pov: dual, 1st person
Roles: strict
cause that ending broke me
I'm utterly impressed by this debut novel. The characters and their love are messy, far from perfect and the author is not scared to touch deep or difficult themes. I have only positive words for the way the BPD rep was written.
I'm mad at myself for not being able to jump into Swallow this very next minute, but I can't wait to see how their story is going to unfold.
Tropes:
Roommates
Closeted mmc x mmc who's out
Opposites
Soft Dom x bratty sub
tattoo artist x artist
age gap (8 years)
Info:
Names: Luca and Noel
Ages: 31 and 22-23
nicknames: /, stunt girl or baby
pov: dual, 1st person
Roles: strict
July 31, 2025
Still sick. And realising this is a duet so probably gonna end on a cliffhanger. Whyyyyy do I keep doing this to myself?
September 4, 2025
⭐️ 5/5 | 🌶️ 3/5
Wow. I can’t believe this is a debut—it’s so beautifully written and overflowing with emotion.
What struck me the most is how Risa Cruise portrayed Borderline Personality Disorder. As someone who has worked in mental health for over 20 years, I was blown away by the accuracy and sensitivity with which this was handled. The heightened emotions, the fear of abandonment, the struggles in relationships, the self-harm—it was all there, rendered with care and nuance. What I loved most is that Noel was never reduced to his diagnosis. He was multidimensional, raw, and deeply human. I grew so attached to him, and his journey moved me in ways I wasn’t expecting.
Luca was equally layered. Watching him uncover who he truly is and finally take control of his own future was a beautiful arc on its own. Together, Noel and Luca faced obstacle after obstacle, and while their relationship was messy and tumultuous, it felt real. Their imperfections—their mistakes, their outbursts, their flaws—made them come alive on the page.
This story ends on a cliffhanger, with the promise of resolution in book two. The closing chapters were heartbreaking yet made complete sense for the characters’ paths. Normally, I’m all about the spice, and the scenes here were hot and well done, but for me, the emotional resonance completely stole the spotlight. This book made me feel every step of Noel and Luca’s journey, and that impact is what will stay with me the longest.
Thank you, Risa Cruise, for creating two imperfectly perfect characters and for telling their story with so much honesty and care. I can’t wait to see where book two takes them—and how they’ll continue to fight for healing and their HEA.
Wow. I can’t believe this is a debut—it’s so beautifully written and overflowing with emotion.
What struck me the most is how Risa Cruise portrayed Borderline Personality Disorder. As someone who has worked in mental health for over 20 years, I was blown away by the accuracy and sensitivity with which this was handled. The heightened emotions, the fear of abandonment, the struggles in relationships, the self-harm—it was all there, rendered with care and nuance. What I loved most is that Noel was never reduced to his diagnosis. He was multidimensional, raw, and deeply human. I grew so attached to him, and his journey moved me in ways I wasn’t expecting.
Luca was equally layered. Watching him uncover who he truly is and finally take control of his own future was a beautiful arc on its own. Together, Noel and Luca faced obstacle after obstacle, and while their relationship was messy and tumultuous, it felt real. Their imperfections—their mistakes, their outbursts, their flaws—made them come alive on the page.
This story ends on a cliffhanger, with the promise of resolution in book two. The closing chapters were heartbreaking yet made complete sense for the characters’ paths. Normally, I’m all about the spice, and the scenes here were hot and well done, but for me, the emotional resonance completely stole the spotlight. This book made me feel every step of Noel and Luca’s journey, and that impact is what will stay with me the longest.
Thank you, Risa Cruise, for creating two imperfectly perfect characters and for telling their story with so much honesty and care. I can’t wait to see where book two takes them—and how they’ll continue to fight for healing and their HEA.
July 7, 2025
I'm super torn. I liked everything but the last 20% of this book. That ending! GAH! I just wanna punch Luca in the balls. I know their story ends in the next book, but I was so frustrated by that ending. I feel like maybe Noel and Luca aren't meant for each other after all.
June 21, 2025
4.5 ⭐️
*ARC received in exchange for an honest review*
THIS WAS A DEBUT?? I am honestly speechless how good this was and not what I expected at all. The depth, the pacing, the small details… I had to put the book down several times to take a breather (the emotional roller coaster this book has put me through, holy moly…) 😭😭
It’s hard to write a thorough review without spoiling the plot, especially since the cliffhanger was DIABOLICAL (also not what I expected)
Short summary: The 21- year old Noah meets a cute tattooed stranger at a bar, they flirt heavily but part ways due to a misunderst. Good thing Noah still has Luca’s card. One thing leads to another and the two become roommates - Luca needs a place to live after his divorce and Noah just getting out of a toxic relationship. The arrangement fits perfectly for both - until both want more…
✨ I have to admit that I didn’t like the drama the cliffhanger was leading us to and i especially hated how this fits into a very niche troupe that I despise (if you have read Hamartia by Scarlet Drake then yall know what I’m getting at…) which led me to withdraw 0,5 stars. But some might like this end so it’s just a personal pet peeve.
But the thing that stood out most to me was the portrayal of Noah’s borderline disorder. I have NEVER read such a realistic portrayal that it was giving me goosebumps at how real it all felt. Noah‘s unstable mental health only good worse with his relationship to Luca because he was relying on him too much. And - oh dear author you are so clever - that’s what ultimately made the novel so intimate. To be a part of Noah‘s mind which was so so devastating and heartbreaking. And yet I was torn. Which side do we take when both characters have their legitimate feelings but don’t know how to guide them and hurt each other in the process? Right, we don’t pick a side. We watch the chaos unfold.
And that’s what this book was - a chaotic mess of two people madly in love with each other and a whole lot of baggage that they definitely need to sort out (if you don’t send me an arc of the next book so I get my HE as soon as it’s done I will haunt you Risa Cruise!!!)
Also: How can you not know Placebo, Noah?? (I looooooved how Luca used Stuntgirl as a nickname - so cute 😭🤌🏻) and it also made me feel old. Congratulations now I am one of THOSE millennials 👵
Oh and a cute dog makes this book even more perfect. What more can I ask for??
*ARC received in exchange for an honest review*
THIS WAS A DEBUT?? I am honestly speechless how good this was and not what I expected at all. The depth, the pacing, the small details… I had to put the book down several times to take a breather (the emotional roller coaster this book has put me through, holy moly…) 😭😭
It’s hard to write a thorough review without spoiling the plot, especially since the cliffhanger was DIABOLICAL (also not what I expected)
Short summary: The 21- year old Noah meets a cute tattooed stranger at a bar, they flirt heavily but part ways due to a misunderst. Good thing Noah still has Luca’s card. One thing leads to another and the two become roommates - Luca needs a place to live after his divorce and Noah just getting out of a toxic relationship. The arrangement fits perfectly for both - until both want more…
✨ I have to admit that I didn’t like the drama the cliffhanger was leading us to and i especially hated how this fits into a very niche troupe that I despise (if you have read Hamartia by Scarlet Drake then yall know what I’m getting at…) which led me to withdraw 0,5 stars. But some might like this end so it’s just a personal pet peeve.
But the thing that stood out most to me was the portrayal of Noah’s borderline disorder. I have NEVER read such a realistic portrayal that it was giving me goosebumps at how real it all felt. Noah‘s unstable mental health only good worse with his relationship to Luca because he was relying on him too much. And - oh dear author you are so clever - that’s what ultimately made the novel so intimate. To be a part of Noah‘s mind which was so so devastating and heartbreaking. And yet I was torn. Which side do we take when both characters have their legitimate feelings but don’t know how to guide them and hurt each other in the process? Right, we don’t pick a side. We watch the chaos unfold.
And that’s what this book was - a chaotic mess of two people madly in love with each other and a whole lot of baggage that they definitely need to sort out (if you don’t send me an arc of the next book so I get my HE as soon as it’s done I will haunt you Risa Cruise!!!)
Also: How can you not know Placebo, Noah?? (I looooooved how Luca used Stuntgirl as a nickname - so cute 😭🤌🏻) and it also made me feel old. Congratulations now I am one of THOSE millennials 👵
Oh and a cute dog makes this book even more perfect. What more can I ask for??
September 26, 2025
Essentially cried for the last third of the book.
But I am going to need Noel and Luca to take a 5 year break from each other.
But I am going to need Noel and Luca to take a 5 year break from each other.
July 28, 2025
Thank you for the ARC, and this is my honest review :)
I ate this book up in ONE day, I kid you not. It's. So. Fricking. Good.
It's been a long while since I've read a book this well written it left an impact on me. I might've read this like, a month ago tbh but I still think about it at least once a day. I'm very impatiently waiting for book 2!!
First of all, the representation of mental illness in this book is top notch, very painfully realistic and beautifully unapologetic. I would not be surprised if Cruise has personal experience with bpd in one way or another. And because of this, you can't help but fall in love with Noel and his faults and sufferings and his strengths and hopes.
I don't think I've ever rooted for a character's happiness WITHOUT the love interest, but my GOD, I wish I could string *redacted* by the balls :)
I've called the plot twist at 24%, but I kept wishing it wouldn't be so, or that it wouldn't be THAT bad etc etc but the cliffhanger is definitely warranted imo. I know it might be frustrating for some people, but with the way the world and the circumstances are set, a hea is not possible without much effort and fight from BOTH characters. And everyone who has read this knows who the coward is in the relationship.
I could rave about the realism and inherent imperfection of the characters all day, but it would just be the incoherent babbling of a madman at this point. This book has definitely become one of my favourites and I'll happily reread when the duet is completed :)
I ate this book up in ONE day, I kid you not. It's. So. Fricking. Good.
It's been a long while since I've read a book this well written it left an impact on me. I might've read this like, a month ago tbh but I still think about it at least once a day. I'm very impatiently waiting for book 2!!
First of all, the representation of mental illness in this book is top notch, very painfully realistic and beautifully unapologetic. I would not be surprised if Cruise has personal experience with bpd in one way or another. And because of this, you can't help but fall in love with Noel and his faults and sufferings and his strengths and hopes.
I don't think I've ever rooted for a character's happiness WITHOUT the love interest, but my GOD, I wish I could string *redacted* by the balls :)
I've called the plot twist at 24%, but I kept wishing it wouldn't be so, or that it wouldn't be THAT bad etc etc but the cliffhanger is definitely warranted imo. I know it might be frustrating for some people, but with the way the world and the circumstances are set, a hea is not possible without much effort and fight from BOTH characters. And everyone who has read this knows who the coward is in the relationship.
I could rave about the realism and inherent imperfection of the characters all day, but it would just be the incoherent babbling of a madman at this point. This book has definitely become one of my favourites and I'll happily reread when the duet is completed :)
July 10, 2025
"I love that he accepts my faults and flaws while still wanting to push me to better myself. He is the light to my dark." - Noel
"The minute I’m with him the rest just falls away. This is how I want to feel, all the time. Like I’m alright being me, like it’s enough." - Luca
Luca can be sweet, caring and gentle with Noel, I really loved how he helped him on the first day that he moved in. Noel just saw his ex and was spiraling because of it. Luca helped him and validated his feelings at that moment, at that point they hardly knew each other. After that moment Noel told him that he has BPD. Noel had just broken up with his ex and Luca just separated with his wife, at the start of this book. This was supposed to be a casual roommates with benefits but they built something so much more than that.
I love that Luca could show him a healthier way of how people should have treated Noel, Especially in the spicy times, it's a lot of trust that Noel gave him and Luca really paid attention to his boundaries, he took care of him, being cared for was new for Noel. Luca did something on Noel’s birthday for him and explained that he didn't expect something in return, they could just cuddle with each other just because they wanted to and not because it was expected to result in spicy time.
Sometimes it felt like Luca didn't pay attention to Noel’s triggers/feelings if it was an inconvenience for him, for example in the situation with Luca and his friends. Noel's feelings about Luca's friends were totally valid, he was literally pushed aside and that situation in combination with his past is totally understandable! And instead of listening, Luca told him to "grow up.” Later on they talked about that situation and that was a really good talk. Luca (and other characters) talked about the age gap a lot. It's not their ages, it's just the fact that they have different personalities and are their lives look a bit different. Noel is very self-aware and he has worked so hard on himself and is continuing to do so, he deserves to be seen/validated for who he is and be loved in his ups & downs.
Luca just needs to work on himself, I understand his situation is hard/difficult and that he's trying to find himself back after suppressing/denying a big part of himself for so long. But I also think that he hardly takes accountability for how he treated his wife (Demi). She just wanted to be able to move on and I felt like he held her back WHILE he was moving on. I hope he gets a lot of character development in the next book. I have complicated feelings about Luca but I absolutely love Noel, he's so strong and he's working so hard on his future. I love that he allowed himself to be fully and unapologetically himself because he deserves to feel better!
💌 About the ending 💌 Luca could've just asked... At the moment he doesn't deserve to be with someone as great as Noel is, Luca needs to put in A LOT of work to deserve Noel. I hope that he learns all that in the next book, and that Noel takes a lot of time to heal and love himself because he deserves self-love. Maybe they can both heal and create a healthier situation together? Hopefully Luca will finally take responsibility because all the people he has hurt deserve a beter version of him. And he finally gets to live the life without pretending to be someone else???
💌 Why it's 5 stars for me 💌 I do care deeply about the characters and I really care a lot about this book and how the author portrayed all the feelings, the BPD, their families, the struggles, taking care of each other, exploring new things and it really has frustrating/sweet/heartbreaking but also very heartwarming moments, the writing/characters just feels so real. They aren't perfect and that makes this book so good, they feel real. I think that they can heal together with a lot of time and communication even though the ending made their happy ever after seem so far away. I just really love Noel so so much! Luca is so unbelievably frustrating sometimes but he can also be kind that says a lot about how good the writing is. I've cried and was sobbing mostly because of how Noel felt and painful situations but I totally lost it at the end with a moment between Noel and Luca's dog Amelia. This is definitely an author that I'm going to follow! And this is Risa's first book!!! The writing is just so incredible good!
I received an ARC copy of this book.
"The minute I’m with him the rest just falls away. This is how I want to feel, all the time. Like I’m alright being me, like it’s enough." - Luca
Luca can be sweet, caring and gentle with Noel, I really loved how he helped him on the first day that he moved in. Noel just saw his ex and was spiraling because of it. Luca helped him and validated his feelings at that moment, at that point they hardly knew each other. After that moment Noel told him that he has BPD. Noel had just broken up with his ex and Luca just separated with his wife, at the start of this book. This was supposed to be a casual roommates with benefits but they built something so much more than that.
I love that Luca could show him a healthier way of how people should have treated Noel, Especially in the spicy times, it's a lot of trust that Noel gave him and Luca really paid attention to his boundaries, he took care of him, being cared for was new for Noel. Luca did something on Noel’s birthday for him and explained that he didn't expect something in return, they could just cuddle with each other just because they wanted to and not because it was expected to result in spicy time.
Sometimes it felt like Luca didn't pay attention to Noel’s triggers/feelings if it was an inconvenience for him, for example in the situation with Luca and his friends. Noel's feelings about Luca's friends were totally valid, he was literally pushed aside and that situation in combination with his past is totally understandable! And instead of listening, Luca told him to "grow up.” Later on they talked about that situation and that was a really good talk. Luca (and other characters) talked about the age gap a lot. It's not their ages, it's just the fact that they have different personalities and are their lives look a bit different. Noel is very self-aware and he has worked so hard on himself and is continuing to do so, he deserves to be seen/validated for who he is and be loved in his ups & downs.
Luca just needs to work on himself, I understand his situation is hard/difficult and that he's trying to find himself back after suppressing/denying a big part of himself for so long. But I also think that he hardly takes accountability for how he treated his wife (Demi). She just wanted to be able to move on and I felt like he held her back WHILE he was moving on. I hope he gets a lot of character development in the next book. I have complicated feelings about Luca but I absolutely love Noel, he's so strong and he's working so hard on his future. I love that he allowed himself to be fully and unapologetically himself because he deserves to feel better!
💌 About the ending 💌 Luca could've just asked... At the moment he doesn't deserve to be with someone as great as Noel is, Luca needs to put in A LOT of work to deserve Noel. I hope that he learns all that in the next book, and that Noel takes a lot of time to heal and love himself because he deserves self-love. Maybe they can both heal and create a healthier situation together? Hopefully Luca will finally take responsibility because all the people he has hurt deserve a beter version of him. And he finally gets to live the life without pretending to be someone else???
💌 Why it's 5 stars for me 💌 I do care deeply about the characters and I really care a lot about this book and how the author portrayed all the feelings, the BPD, their families, the struggles, taking care of each other, exploring new things and it really has frustrating/sweet/heartbreaking but also very heartwarming moments, the writing/characters just feels so real. They aren't perfect and that makes this book so good, they feel real. I think that they can heal together with a lot of time and communication even though the ending made their happy ever after seem so far away. I just really love Noel so so much! Luca is so unbelievably frustrating sometimes but he can also be kind that says a lot about how good the writing is. I've cried and was sobbing mostly because of how Noel felt and painful situations but I totally lost it at the end with a moment between Noel and Luca's dog Amelia. This is definitely an author that I'm going to follow! And this is Risa's first book!!! The writing is just so incredible good!
I received an ARC copy of this book.
November 25, 2025
💫Sucker Love is Book 1 in the Sugar Pill Duet and spoiler alert besties, it may end on a cliffhanger. The story concludes in Book 2, Swallow.
Now, dear Risa, come here and let's have a chat, you and me, because... what do you mean by that ending?
You guys, I loved this book so much! This story has the perfect amount of love, smut, and hurt, connection and longing. All in all, the perfect ingredients that sucked me into this journey and got me emotionally attached to the characters.
I adore both Luca and Noel equally, and yet so differently and I can't help but give credit to the author for the way they make you get attached to both MMCs. My heart is full and I promise you, besties, that even though this is just the first part of a duet, this story is extremely satisfying from start to finish.
Tropes:
💕Age Gap
💕Hurt/Comfort
💕BPD Rep
💕Soft D/s
💕Tattoo artist x Artist
January 14, 2026
So I guess it’s a good thing I waited until the second book came out to start this, because I would be losing my mind after that ending if I had to wait to find out what happened!? DAMN YOU RISA! 😂💖
Onto book IMMEDIATELY!
Onto book IMMEDIATELY!
October 24, 2025
“When you are young they assume you know nothing…” TS, “Cardigan” –A perfect lyric for the attitude everyone, including the other MC, has toward MC Noel. 😭
But also… “Sucker love is…heaven sent… You pucker up…our passion's spent. My heart's a tart…your body's rent. My body's broken…yours is bent…” —“Every You Every Me” by Placebo, which was clearly a major inspiration for this book. The lyrics are 💯 on point. 😳😱😭
“Because every fucking time some ghost from his past shows up, he turns into another person. One I don’t recognize and who doesn’t recognize me.” —Noel, on Luca
Truer words were never thought by an MC. And this book is a cautionary tale about rebound relationships.
This book…it was book-crack for me. The power of the emotions radiated from the pages, hooking me hard and fast. And for once, if book 2 featured one MC actually finding an HEA with someone else, I’d be…into that. It doesn’t, but, seriously. I would not object.
The beginning of the book includes details that *should* have turned me off (breakup with the ex one day! Having sex with the other MC within a day or two (three???) in the same bed without changing the sheets! Normally, I’d nope out then and there!) and yet…for some reason, due to the way the author writes? I didn’t focus on things that would normally turn me off. It just didn’t matter. The chemistry between these two was so fascinating, their perspectives so believable, and they’re both in such a vulnerable place, I legit didn’t care about the circumstances and was…well, yeah, fascinated to see how they’d interact, how they so clearly each had something good for the other but were far too early in their breakups to be in a place where they could see/accept/work for what they could be to each other, and it hurt so good.
Noel is a borderline personality, and when he feels, he Feels and become self-destructive (and property destructive) and engages in some self-harm (if you need to know, he ). He NEEDS to be wanted, needs to know he’s wanted, needs a foundation of love and support that he’s never gotten. Needs someone to see through the prickly outer layer to the vulnerable marshmallow within and hold him and love him. And he’s still so competent with his work ethic and art, so functional on other levels, that it was a strong combination and didn’t make him negatively desperate/clingy. He has enough “fuck off” in him to balance the “I need you so bad.” I’ve been through his reactions, or comforted friends through the same things. One minute he’s text-begging for his ex to come back, the next he’s telling him to fuck off (in person ha ha) and breaking things and revenge-fucking Luca. It was authentic.
Noel needs security, and to not doubt he’s the center of someone’s heart. On the surface, the 10-years-older Luca seems like the person who will finally give Noel that assurance and adoration he’s never had. But…
Luca is an emotional teenager. At times he is so soft and lovely with Noel, caregiving, so very much what Noel needs. But he’s going through a divorce (from a woman) and happens to also be a spineless, gaslighting jellyfish who can’t stand up to his (dickhead) daddy, and then at just the wrong times, he becomes a self-absorbed, condescending jerk and is so bad for Noel I was spitting shards of teeth. (I quote: “You wouldn’t understand unless you were ever with someone for years. There’s so much we have to untangle.” 😱 The condescension dripped right out of my e-reader.)
It was intense. You can see the person Luca could be if he’d grow a spine and get some self-respect. That person would be so good for Noel, who is so brave and keeps picking himself up and brushing himself off, setback after setback. Which Luca needs to learn to do. But Luca is legit going through a massive life change (plus, of the two of them, this older man is the one who needs to gain maturity) and he isn’t able to see Noel clearly. Luca’s a trap, seeming perfect for Noel in some ways: cooking for Noel, having true appreciation and love for Noel’s body, a gentle warmth for Noel at times, and then being rough in a way Noel needs…Luca realizing Noel has never cuddled and doesn’t understand it and bringing Noel around to cuddling…Luca could so be the person Noel needs for support and affirmation…, and Noel is the personality type who will soak up and flourish and return in spades all the love and caring Luca has to give…it’s just that Luca isn’t There yet. They’re in two different stages of life. And it’s both gut-wrenching and riveting to read, in a heartbreaking and credible way.
Their story includes noncommunication in a way that killed me, it’s so authentic. Noel being so hurt that he’s too choked up to tell Luca exactly what upset him. Luca assuming the wrong reasons and lashing out/being a thoughtless, self-righteous prick. It was so painful…and so believable. Why doesn’t Luca just know? Why does Noel have to tell him that being called …a…friend…after they just claimed each other (I’m yours…you’re mine…) would be so hurtful? Why doesn’t Luca realize that? But he doesn’t, because he’s all about himself right now, in his selfish/self-absorbed/my-divorce-and-having-to-face-daddy-pain-comes-first era. You likely WILL want to murder Luca several times, heads up. The oblivious selfishness at times was very hard to take, and sure, maybe Noel is less mature, less able to shrug off things he could have if he were a different personality and had more self confidence too. But…honestly, some of my book notes are just “You absolute dick” “JFC” “Dump him Noel, leave RIGHT NOW. RUN!” 😂
Yet. It was in character. And I appreciate the ability to stay true to character.
Note: Luca calls Noel “stunt girl” as a supposed endearment. He got it from a T-shirt the lead singer of Placebo wears, and Luca *thinks* it’s a compliment, but…according to the dictionary, “A stunt girl was a woman investigative journalist in the late 19th and early 20th centuries in the United States. The term was often used derogatorily.” So Luca is calling Noel something both derogatory and borderline misogynistic, if you go by impact, not intent. WTF. 😱😱😱 Not cute.
Noel is also dealing with an addict parent, and the enabling on his part and the cruelty on hers was pretty awful to read. Frustrating AF. But again…credible, especially with Noel’s personality and how growing up that way would have shaped him.
Why the star off? It wasn’t for Luca being so spineless and cruel at times (though don’t get me wrong, I viscerally hated him a time or five, and if there were half stars, this’d be 3.5 for that). I was riveted seeing how their two personalities could be both good and toxic for each other due to what each was working through.
No…the star off is for the plot sinking to a cliché, overdone, please-god-never-make-me-read-this-twist-again reason for the breakup-ending. If I never see it again in a romance, it will be too soon. I know something had to twist things, but this one was disappointing. And Luca’s devolution at the end to making assumptions, assuming worst-case scenarios, making decisions for everyone without talking to anyone or even taking a beat to think it through…he fully lost my respect. The depth of the fuckery that results was still stellar though, I was impressed by the dialogue and extreme reactions and believable way it played out. This is one of the only times I’ve ended a book going…wow, I hope one MC meets someone else and book 2 is about the real romance.
Thank goodness book 2 is also out though! I need to read it RIGHT NOW buh-bye I’m off to do that! It had better involve the most satisfying, on-his-knees-begging grovel from Luca that a character has ever delivered. Because right now? Luca needs to meet the fishes wearing cement shoes. Noel, I’m here for you BB! I get you! Please don’t hurt yourself. And if you meet someone new and stronger? For once…I won’t mind a bit. Because everything you said to Luca at the end? I cheered. You were right. And sure, maybe you burned it to the ground, but, Luca didn’t give you the respect you deserved to truly talk this through and consider options. He treated you like a child. Good for you for standing up for you, Noel. Your ultimatum was 👏👏👏. Thank you for not enabling Luca’s knee-jerk reaction and decisions, made without any input from you, and his truly gross condescension.
One more notable moment—the way the scene in the sex club was handled/the choice Noel made was just stellar. Truly, he was so brave. And deserved someone worthy of him. Also, shout out to both MCs’ friend groups, especially Jamil and Danika for Noel. I know they’ll step up for him.
Cliffhanger breakup ending (and I’m still glad I read the book, despite hating that final plot twist so much!). Age gap (10 years). Stranger to lovers to roommates with benefits. Art student - tattoo artist pairing. Rebound relationship for both. OM and OW drama, used to create strong tension (often moving their fragile relationship backward). NO sex with others in the book, so, quite safe for me! Recommended, but have book 2 ready to go.
Extra note of aggravation...use of "clean" instead of "negative" when talking about STI status. Ugh.
My thanks to Gay Romance Reviews for the copy; this is my free and impartial opinion.
But also… “Sucker love is…heaven sent… You pucker up…our passion's spent. My heart's a tart…your body's rent. My body's broken…yours is bent…” —“Every You Every Me” by Placebo, which was clearly a major inspiration for this book. The lyrics are 💯 on point. 😳😱😭
“Because every fucking time some ghost from his past shows up, he turns into another person. One I don’t recognize and who doesn’t recognize me.” —Noel, on Luca
Truer words were never thought by an MC. And this book is a cautionary tale about rebound relationships.
This book…it was book-crack for me. The power of the emotions radiated from the pages, hooking me hard and fast. And for once, if book 2 featured one MC actually finding an HEA with someone else, I’d be…into that. It doesn’t, but, seriously. I would not object.
The beginning of the book includes details that *should* have turned me off (breakup with the ex one day! Having sex with the other MC within a day or two (three???) in the same bed without changing the sheets! Normally, I’d nope out then and there!) and yet…for some reason, due to the way the author writes? I didn’t focus on things that would normally turn me off. It just didn’t matter. The chemistry between these two was so fascinating, their perspectives so believable, and they’re both in such a vulnerable place, I legit didn’t care about the circumstances and was…well, yeah, fascinated to see how they’d interact, how they so clearly each had something good for the other but were far too early in their breakups to be in a place where they could see/accept/work for what they could be to each other, and it hurt so good.
Noel is a borderline personality, and when he feels, he Feels and become self-destructive (and property destructive) and engages in some self-harm (if you need to know, he ). He NEEDS to be wanted, needs to know he’s wanted, needs a foundation of love and support that he’s never gotten. Needs someone to see through the prickly outer layer to the vulnerable marshmallow within and hold him and love him. And he’s still so competent with his work ethic and art, so functional on other levels, that it was a strong combination and didn’t make him negatively desperate/clingy. He has enough “fuck off” in him to balance the “I need you so bad.” I’ve been through his reactions, or comforted friends through the same things. One minute he’s text-begging for his ex to come back, the next he’s telling him to fuck off (in person ha ha) and breaking things and revenge-fucking Luca. It was authentic.
Noel needs security, and to not doubt he’s the center of someone’s heart. On the surface, the 10-years-older Luca seems like the person who will finally give Noel that assurance and adoration he’s never had. But…
Luca is an emotional teenager. At times he is so soft and lovely with Noel, caregiving, so very much what Noel needs. But he’s going through a divorce (from a woman) and happens to also be a spineless, gaslighting jellyfish who can’t stand up to his (dickhead) daddy, and then at just the wrong times, he becomes a self-absorbed, condescending jerk and is so bad for Noel I was spitting shards of teeth. (I quote: “You wouldn’t understand unless you were ever with someone for years. There’s so much we have to untangle.” 😱 The condescension dripped right out of my e-reader.)
It was intense. You can see the person Luca could be if he’d grow a spine and get some self-respect. That person would be so good for Noel, who is so brave and keeps picking himself up and brushing himself off, setback after setback. Which Luca needs to learn to do. But Luca is legit going through a massive life change (plus, of the two of them, this older man is the one who needs to gain maturity) and he isn’t able to see Noel clearly. Luca’s a trap, seeming perfect for Noel in some ways: cooking for Noel, having true appreciation and love for Noel’s body, a gentle warmth for Noel at times, and then being rough in a way Noel needs…Luca realizing Noel has never cuddled and doesn’t understand it and bringing Noel around to cuddling…Luca could so be the person Noel needs for support and affirmation…, and Noel is the personality type who will soak up and flourish and return in spades all the love and caring Luca has to give…it’s just that Luca isn’t There yet. They’re in two different stages of life. And it’s both gut-wrenching and riveting to read, in a heartbreaking and credible way.
Their story includes noncommunication in a way that killed me, it’s so authentic. Noel being so hurt that he’s too choked up to tell Luca exactly what upset him. Luca assuming the wrong reasons and lashing out/being a thoughtless, self-righteous prick. It was so painful…and so believable. Why doesn’t Luca just know? Why does Noel have to tell him that being called …a…friend…after they just claimed each other (I’m yours…you’re mine…) would be so hurtful? Why doesn’t Luca realize that? But he doesn’t, because he’s all about himself right now, in his selfish/self-absorbed/my-divorce-and-having-to-face-daddy-pain-comes-first era. You likely WILL want to murder Luca several times, heads up. The oblivious selfishness at times was very hard to take, and sure, maybe Noel is less mature, less able to shrug off things he could have if he were a different personality and had more self confidence too. But…honestly, some of my book notes are just “You absolute dick” “JFC” “Dump him Noel, leave RIGHT NOW. RUN!” 😂
Yet. It was in character. And I appreciate the ability to stay true to character.
Note: Luca calls Noel “stunt girl” as a supposed endearment. He got it from a T-shirt the lead singer of Placebo wears, and Luca *thinks* it’s a compliment, but…according to the dictionary, “A stunt girl was a woman investigative journalist in the late 19th and early 20th centuries in the United States. The term was often used derogatorily.” So Luca is calling Noel something both derogatory and borderline misogynistic, if you go by impact, not intent. WTF. 😱😱😱 Not cute.
Noel is also dealing with an addict parent, and the enabling on his part and the cruelty on hers was pretty awful to read. Frustrating AF. But again…credible, especially with Noel’s personality and how growing up that way would have shaped him.
Why the star off? It wasn’t for Luca being so spineless and cruel at times (though don’t get me wrong, I viscerally hated him a time or five, and if there were half stars, this’d be 3.5 for that). I was riveted seeing how their two personalities could be both good and toxic for each other due to what each was working through.
No…the star off is for the plot sinking to a cliché, overdone, please-god-never-make-me-read-this-twist-again reason for the breakup-ending. If I never see it again in a romance, it will be too soon. I know something had to twist things, but this one was disappointing. And Luca’s devolution at the end to making assumptions, assuming worst-case scenarios, making decisions for everyone without talking to anyone or even taking a beat to think it through…he fully lost my respect. The depth of the fuckery that results was still stellar though, I was impressed by the dialogue and extreme reactions and believable way it played out. This is one of the only times I’ve ended a book going…wow, I hope one MC meets someone else and book 2 is about the real romance.
Thank goodness book 2 is also out though! I need to read it RIGHT NOW buh-bye I’m off to do that! It had better involve the most satisfying, on-his-knees-begging grovel from Luca that a character has ever delivered. Because right now? Luca needs to meet the fishes wearing cement shoes. Noel, I’m here for you BB! I get you! Please don’t hurt yourself. And if you meet someone new and stronger? For once…I won’t mind a bit. Because everything you said to Luca at the end? I cheered. You were right. And sure, maybe you burned it to the ground, but, Luca didn’t give you the respect you deserved to truly talk this through and consider options. He treated you like a child. Good for you for standing up for you, Noel. Your ultimatum was 👏👏👏. Thank you for not enabling Luca’s knee-jerk reaction and decisions, made without any input from you, and his truly gross condescension.
One more notable moment—the way the scene in the sex club was handled/the choice Noel made was just stellar. Truly, he was so brave. And deserved someone worthy of him. Also, shout out to both MCs’ friend groups, especially Jamil and Danika for Noel. I know they’ll step up for him.
Cliffhanger breakup ending (and I’m still glad I read the book, despite hating that final plot twist so much!). Age gap (10 years). Stranger to lovers to roommates with benefits. Art student - tattoo artist pairing. Rebound relationship for both. OM and OW drama, used to create strong tension (often moving their fragile relationship backward). NO sex with others in the book, so, quite safe for me! Recommended, but have book 2 ready to go.
Extra note of aggravation...use of "clean" instead of "negative" when talking about STI status. Ugh.
My thanks to Gay Romance Reviews for the copy; this is my free and impartial opinion.
November 9, 2025
Initially I dnfed this, but with all the comments saying "omg that ending was awful"
I decided to continue reading, because the premise did hook me.
Thank you GRR for the arc!
I don't feel like I can rate this, because that ending??? I'm genuinely wondering how it will work out between them. I have my theories, but I'm really hoping everything isn't what it seems. I know their story is messy, but I don't want it to be this messy...jeez.
It got hard to tell the two of them apart, and I feel like Luca is the problem in the book bc he's just really spineless and unable to take a stand.
He is a μαλάκα/ malaka Bah.
Giving me a chance to utilize the only Greek I know 😂
He doesn't deserve Noel, so he better grovel.
He's with Noel as fwb but still is pretending to be married to have his father be happy?
He's all over the place and really just needs therapy.
I usually like toxic stuff, but despite him being older, Noel felt like the more cohesive, consistent and put together one.
Idk I don't really see them working out as a couple, but I want them to.
I decided to continue reading, because the premise did hook me.
Thank you GRR for the arc!
I don't feel like I can rate this, because that ending??? I'm genuinely wondering how it will work out between them. I have my theories, but I'm really hoping everything isn't what it seems. I know their story is messy, but I don't want it to be this messy...jeez.
It got hard to tell the two of them apart, and I feel like Luca is the problem in the book bc he's just really spineless and unable to take a stand.
He is a μαλάκα/ malaka Bah.
Giving me a chance to utilize the only Greek I know 😂
He doesn't deserve Noel, so he better grovel.
He's with Noel as fwb but still is pretending to be married to have his father be happy?
He's all over the place and really just needs therapy.
I usually like toxic stuff, but despite him being older, Noel felt like the more cohesive, consistent and put together one.
Idk I don't really see them working out as a couple, but I want them to.
December 21, 2025
🥹I just want to be yours. I want to be completely and utterly yours. All of me, all of you🥹
"Oh my god, I want him. If I don't get to take him home with me, I'll die."
"Yes, I'm reckless and prone to my impulses. Whatever. I've just got this feeling. This is kismet, fate, whatever you want to call it."
"I am wanting. Always. Trying to seek something that fills this strange emptiness that's always existed as long as I've existed."
"I want to be wanted, that's what's wrong. If not loved, at least wanted. Desired. Someone happy I was here, anyone at all."
"I want to tell him how truly beyond saving I am. That I'm psychosis manifest and only masquerading as a human. That I'm torn from mind and body both and I remind myself of that every day, tally it on flesh."
"I feel things very strongly, I guess. All the time. There's no equilibrium, just extremes. Big highs and lows. But I'm good at pretending that I'm, you know, on an even keel or whatever. That I'm normal and things don't hurt. Most of the time it's fine. And then something will...set me off, I guess. And I kinda lose the plot."
"He is a messy and complicated boy. I don't know why I want to unravel him so badly, why I'm enticed."
"I just want you to want me. Really f****** want me, Luca, the way I want you. I want to be held and touched and f***** like it's real. Like this is real for you. I just want to be yours. I want to be completely and utterly yours. All of me, all of you, and I don't want to feel guilty for a single minute of that."
"He is proud, he is intense, he is wounded---and he is beautiful, wild, a tempest, a car crash, awe-inspiring in his capacity for destruction. A force of nature that is devastating and raw."
This was such a gut-wrenching, phenomenal, and emotional book. I can't believe this is a debut book for this author. I am speechless from how well this book was crafted. Once I started to read how flawed these characters were, I knew their love was going to be very messy and toxic. My emotions were all over in this story. The ending of this story was a huge cliffhanger and made me want to scream. Thank God the second part is out now! The mental health aspect was portrayed perfectly. I love me a good hurt/comfort, boy did this story hurt bad. The spice in this was high and super delicious 🔥🔥🔥🔥.
This story follows Noel and Luka. Noel is nursing a bad break up and decides to go to a sexy club. He runs into Luka there, who is in the process of getting a divorce from his wife. They flirt and get to know each other a bit. Noel needs a roommate and asks Luka if he's interested. Luka is interested in much more than a place to live 😉😏. These two end up becoming roommates and things get spicy 🥵🥵. They start as fwb then establish a relationship. There are so many ups and downs they have to work on but finally reach a healthier place. Until the big bomb drops at the end of the book!
I wanted to punch, scream, and kick Luka from most of his decisions in this book. I did feel bad for him with how he was raised by his horrible father. I understand why he's so scared to come out of the closet, but I wish he would have tried more. My heart and soul bled for Noel. That poor broken boy has been through so much and continues to battle his demons. He just wants to be loved. He just wants to be chosen and to feel like he is enough. Luka made him feel loved until he didn't choose him in the end. These two, while toxic at some points, were so sexy, hot, adorable, and sweet. Luka knew how to read and deal with Noel's mood swings. He knew what Noel needed. They definitely have a lot to work on. They both need to heal some. The chemistry and spice between them was unmatched and chef's kiss 🔥😏. Noel is such a brat 😈 and Luka knows how to tame his brat 🥵😉. I can't wait to see what's in store for the second half of this duet. I feel there will be a lot of pain to get through first until they get their hard fought HEA 😩😭.
"Oh my god, I want him. If I don't get to take him home with me, I'll die."
"Yes, I'm reckless and prone to my impulses. Whatever. I've just got this feeling. This is kismet, fate, whatever you want to call it."
"I am wanting. Always. Trying to seek something that fills this strange emptiness that's always existed as long as I've existed."
"I want to be wanted, that's what's wrong. If not loved, at least wanted. Desired. Someone happy I was here, anyone at all."
"I want to tell him how truly beyond saving I am. That I'm psychosis manifest and only masquerading as a human. That I'm torn from mind and body both and I remind myself of that every day, tally it on flesh."
"I feel things very strongly, I guess. All the time. There's no equilibrium, just extremes. Big highs and lows. But I'm good at pretending that I'm, you know, on an even keel or whatever. That I'm normal and things don't hurt. Most of the time it's fine. And then something will...set me off, I guess. And I kinda lose the plot."
"He is a messy and complicated boy. I don't know why I want to unravel him so badly, why I'm enticed."
"I just want you to want me. Really f****** want me, Luca, the way I want you. I want to be held and touched and f***** like it's real. Like this is real for you. I just want to be yours. I want to be completely and utterly yours. All of me, all of you, and I don't want to feel guilty for a single minute of that."
"He is proud, he is intense, he is wounded---and he is beautiful, wild, a tempest, a car crash, awe-inspiring in his capacity for destruction. A force of nature that is devastating and raw."
This was such a gut-wrenching, phenomenal, and emotional book. I can't believe this is a debut book for this author. I am speechless from how well this book was crafted. Once I started to read how flawed these characters were, I knew their love was going to be very messy and toxic. My emotions were all over in this story. The ending of this story was a huge cliffhanger and made me want to scream. Thank God the second part is out now! The mental health aspect was portrayed perfectly. I love me a good hurt/comfort, boy did this story hurt bad. The spice in this was high and super delicious 🔥🔥🔥🔥.
This story follows Noel and Luka. Noel is nursing a bad break up and decides to go to a sexy club. He runs into Luka there, who is in the process of getting a divorce from his wife. They flirt and get to know each other a bit. Noel needs a roommate and asks Luka if he's interested. Luka is interested in much more than a place to live 😉😏. These two end up becoming roommates and things get spicy 🥵🥵. They start as fwb then establish a relationship. There are so many ups and downs they have to work on but finally reach a healthier place. Until the big bomb drops at the end of the book!
I wanted to punch, scream, and kick Luka from most of his decisions in this book. I did feel bad for him with how he was raised by his horrible father. I understand why he's so scared to come out of the closet, but I wish he would have tried more. My heart and soul bled for Noel. That poor broken boy has been through so much and continues to battle his demons. He just wants to be loved. He just wants to be chosen and to feel like he is enough. Luka made him feel loved until he didn't choose him in the end. These two, while toxic at some points, were so sexy, hot, adorable, and sweet. Luka knew how to read and deal with Noel's mood swings. He knew what Noel needed. They definitely have a lot to work on. They both need to heal some. The chemistry and spice between them was unmatched and chef's kiss 🔥😏. Noel is such a brat 😈 and Luka knows how to tame his brat 🥵😉. I can't wait to see what's in store for the second half of this duet. I feel there will be a lot of pain to get through first until they get their hard fought HEA 😩😭.
January 17, 2026
Take all the stars! ⭐️
Oh my god. This freaking book. I was not prepared mentally or emotionally for this roller coaster!
I’m struggling for the words but I’ll try my best because I JUST finished this and I’m in shock! Genuinely so glad I don’t have to wait to dive into book 2 because I’d be in a book slump if I had to wait after that cliffhanger!
Noel is fresh out of a no so great relationship and decides to have a night out as a soft-kink club in Boston. He spots a handsome as sin man covered in tattoos and decided to have a little fun.
Luca needs a night out ever since him and his wife decided to separate. After 7 years of a happy-enough marriage Demi confronts Luca about his sexuality and from there they decide it’s best to part ways. Luca learns about a club from a tattoo client of his and decides it’s a good way to spend the evening. Once he walks in he is quickly confronted by a beautiful man who dances with him and steals his breath away. Except when this beautiful boy goes to the bathroom for a bit too long Luca figures he’s been ghosted and decided to give up on the night. Little does he know that Noel was caught up in something and excited to continue the night.
After a fun afternoon together Noel comes up with a great plan of exploring their sexual interests together AND for Noel to move in so he can make rent this month. They both know it’s a crazy idea with how tangled their lives are right now now but it’s the best option either of them have.
Feelings get caught up and wires get crossed and Luca learned that being true to yourself has never been harder than when you’re set free and out in the open. Life has a funny way of fucking us over and testing you in all ways possible and it does just that the moment things were looking up for Luca and Noel. Will they survive it?
I love me a tattooed man and Luca is to his core a good guy but he lets others (specifically his father) control his life and happiness. He’s hurt and confused and lost but his heart is so big and so full of love that I can’t hate him at all. He is a pure soul who doesn’t know how to stand up for himself.
Noel is a guy who’s been handed too many rough cards in life but is still true to himself no matter what. He straddles with BPD and a neglectful mother while also trying to navigate art school and life in general. He wants to be loved but doesn’t know how to ask for it.
Noel and Luca are a perfect pair but it seems like life is making a case of right person, wrong timing and it’s hurting them both.
The spice was so good and just the right amount 3.75/5 🌶️. They explore the world of kink lightly with a light D/s role and some impact play. Nothing too crazy or intense by any means.
Please check the trigger warnings as your mental health is important and not ever worth any books contents. There are some tough things to read about such as:
*may contain spoilers*
-parental neglect
-talk of parental drug use
-absent parent
- death of a parent (off page)
- homophobic violence of a past partner by a parent
- graphic kink displays (at a BDSM club not by MMC’s)
-mental breakdowns related to BPD
-self harm (biting of arm, threatening harm to self with a knife)
Oh my god. This freaking book. I was not prepared mentally or emotionally for this roller coaster!
I’m struggling for the words but I’ll try my best because I JUST finished this and I’m in shock! Genuinely so glad I don’t have to wait to dive into book 2 because I’d be in a book slump if I had to wait after that cliffhanger!
Noel is fresh out of a no so great relationship and decides to have a night out as a soft-kink club in Boston. He spots a handsome as sin man covered in tattoos and decided to have a little fun.
Luca needs a night out ever since him and his wife decided to separate. After 7 years of a happy-enough marriage Demi confronts Luca about his sexuality and from there they decide it’s best to part ways. Luca learns about a club from a tattoo client of his and decides it’s a good way to spend the evening. Once he walks in he is quickly confronted by a beautiful man who dances with him and steals his breath away. Except when this beautiful boy goes to the bathroom for a bit too long Luca figures he’s been ghosted and decided to give up on the night. Little does he know that Noel was caught up in something and excited to continue the night.
After a fun afternoon together Noel comes up with a great plan of exploring their sexual interests together AND for Noel to move in so he can make rent this month. They both know it’s a crazy idea with how tangled their lives are right now now but it’s the best option either of them have.
Feelings get caught up and wires get crossed and Luca learned that being true to yourself has never been harder than when you’re set free and out in the open. Life has a funny way of fucking us over and testing you in all ways possible and it does just that the moment things were looking up for Luca and Noel. Will they survive it?
I love me a tattooed man and Luca is to his core a good guy but he lets others (specifically his father) control his life and happiness. He’s hurt and confused and lost but his heart is so big and so full of love that I can’t hate him at all. He is a pure soul who doesn’t know how to stand up for himself.
Noel is a guy who’s been handed too many rough cards in life but is still true to himself no matter what. He straddles with BPD and a neglectful mother while also trying to navigate art school and life in general. He wants to be loved but doesn’t know how to ask for it.
Noel and Luca are a perfect pair but it seems like life is making a case of right person, wrong timing and it’s hurting them both.
The spice was so good and just the right amount 3.75/5 🌶️. They explore the world of kink lightly with a light D/s role and some impact play. Nothing too crazy or intense by any means.
Please check the trigger warnings as your mental health is important and not ever worth any books contents. There are some tough things to read about such as:
*may contain spoilers*
-parental neglect
-talk of parental drug use
-absent parent
- death of a parent (off page)
- homophobic violence of a past partner by a parent
- graphic kink displays (at a BDSM club not by MMC’s)
-mental breakdowns related to BPD
-self harm (biting of arm, threatening harm to self with a knife)
October 21, 2025
3.25⭐️
Noel is an art student, struggling with a breakup and his mental health, and looking for a roommate. A bar meet cute with Luca, an older tattoo artist, results in a “no strings attached” roommate arrangement. One where they also explore k*nk together. Of course, this arrangement quickly falls into something more complex.
This book has some fun tropes like:
-age gap (23 & 31)
-light d/s
-mental health struggles
-DRAMA
-roommates
This book was interesting. The characters were definitely complex and flawed, and exploring their difficulties is the main focus of the book. The dynamic between the two and chemistry they have physically is definitely good. It’s not a bad book by any means.
That being said, I really don’t like either of the main characters, especially Luca. (Potential spoilers ahead so stop reading here if you don’t want any)
I love characters with flaws, don’t get me wrong. But Luca is so hot and cold with how he treats Noel. Sometimes he’s such a caring gentleman, and other times he’s completely ignorant and insensitive about Noel’s condition. If he was consistently one way or the other, it would be fine. But the way he flip flops makes his character feel inconsistent. He’s also horrible to his ex.
I also hated the ending. Nothing wrong with a good cliffhanger, but the way it ended off just left a bad taste in my mouth. And I HATED the surprise drama at the end, too. (I will tell you what it is now just in case you also dislike the trope). But Luca’s ex finds out that she’s pregnant at the end, and Luca now wants to figure out how to make things work (not romantically) with his ex and the new baby coming.
This book has a lot of drama, and characters with lots to unpack. I think someone who is here for the drama will eat it up! Unfortunately I didn’t vibe with the characters or the surprise content at the end.
Noel is an art student, struggling with a breakup and his mental health, and looking for a roommate. A bar meet cute with Luca, an older tattoo artist, results in a “no strings attached” roommate arrangement. One where they also explore k*nk together. Of course, this arrangement quickly falls into something more complex.
This book has some fun tropes like:
-age gap (23 & 31)
-light d/s
-mental health struggles
-DRAMA
-roommates
This book was interesting. The characters were definitely complex and flawed, and exploring their difficulties is the main focus of the book. The dynamic between the two and chemistry they have physically is definitely good. It’s not a bad book by any means.
That being said, I really don’t like either of the main characters, especially Luca. (Potential spoilers ahead so stop reading here if you don’t want any)
I love characters with flaws, don’t get me wrong. But Luca is so hot and cold with how he treats Noel. Sometimes he’s such a caring gentleman, and other times he’s completely ignorant and insensitive about Noel’s condition. If he was consistently one way or the other, it would be fine. But the way he flip flops makes his character feel inconsistent. He’s also horrible to his ex.
I also hated the ending. Nothing wrong with a good cliffhanger, but the way it ended off just left a bad taste in my mouth. And I HATED the surprise drama at the end, too. (I will tell you what it is now just in case you also dislike the trope). But Luca’s ex finds out that she’s pregnant at the end, and Luca now wants to figure out how to make things work (not romantically) with his ex and the new baby coming.
This book has a lot of drama, and characters with lots to unpack. I think someone who is here for the drama will eat it up! Unfortunately I didn’t vibe with the characters or the surprise content at the end.
July 30, 2025
5 ⭐
3 🌶️
I absolutely love messy love stories just as much as a I love the romances that are wrapped in a pretty bow. This gave me all the messy. However, Luca has a lot of explaining to do and a lot of apologizing, groveling, growing up emotionally for me to forgive him. He used words as weapons and then expected a simple apology would fix things. Noel didn't deserve that. Not after all he's been through. Especially because Noel has been nothing but open about everything from the start of their relationship. Noel is an angel, flawed sure, but you absolutely know what you're getting with him.
It dawns on me, then, what he’s really doing. It’s his deadliest flaw... UGGGH I don't know why this line broke me as much as it did. I think Noel realizing he isn't going to get what he needs, the outcome he wants just shattered me. (I didn't mean for this review to basically be about my love for Noel but honestly, I'm not sorry - he deserves it)
As debuts go this was amazing. I felt such a range of emotions while reading this book. So now I'll be pining for part two.
I was going to mark this as read and leave no rating because I'm still going through it with this book. BUT I'm rating this 5 star because even though I raged a good amount of this book and really am side-eying Luca HARD... Noel won me over time and time again. He is perfectly imperfect and I will not stan for Noel hate.
WHAT TO EXPECT
💜 Tattoo Artist x Art Student
💜 FWB to Lovers
💜 Age Gap
💜 BPD Rep
💜 Soft D/s
💜 Hurt/Comfort
💜 Forced Proximity
💜 Cliffhanger
Cheating:
Third-act breakup:
POV: Dual POV (First Person POV)
3 🌶️
I absolutely love messy love stories just as much as a I love the romances that are wrapped in a pretty bow. This gave me all the messy. However, Luca has a lot of explaining to do and a lot of apologizing, groveling, growing up emotionally for me to forgive him. He used words as weapons and then expected a simple apology would fix things. Noel didn't deserve that. Not after all he's been through. Especially because Noel has been nothing but open about everything from the start of their relationship. Noel is an angel, flawed sure, but you absolutely know what you're getting with him.
It dawns on me, then, what he’s really doing. It’s his deadliest flaw... UGGGH I don't know why this line broke me as much as it did. I think Noel realizing he isn't going to get what he needs, the outcome he wants just shattered me. (I didn't mean for this review to basically be about my love for Noel but honestly, I'm not sorry - he deserves it)
As debuts go this was amazing. I felt such a range of emotions while reading this book. So now I'll be pining for part two.
I was going to mark this as read and leave no rating because I'm still going through it with this book. BUT I'm rating this 5 star because even though I raged a good amount of this book and really am side-eying Luca HARD... Noel won me over time and time again. He is perfectly imperfect and I will not stan for Noel hate.
WHAT TO EXPECT
💜 Tattoo Artist x Art Student
💜 FWB to Lovers
💜 Age Gap
💜 BPD Rep
💜 Soft D/s
💜 Hurt/Comfort
💜 Forced Proximity
💜 Cliffhanger
Cheating:
Third-act breakup:
POV: Dual POV (First Person POV)
November 14, 2025
After reading some reviews, I was afraid I wouldn't like it because of its supposed "overdramatic" nature, but I don't see the book that way. The book is not OTP at all, but rather a realistic portrayal of human nature and the fact that we are not perfect and we all make mistakes. (If I had known that the book contained BPD representation, I would definitely have picked up this book earlier—all books with more complex characters or representations of different diagnoses are always more interesting to read.)
Noel is a relatable character in terms of his emotions, insecurity, and need for reassurance. It was personally frustrating to read about how he was sometimes misunderstood—tho understandably so, given his behavior at times. This did cause the aforementioned drama, but I don't think the author takes it too far, and Noel also has the ability to clearly express his feelings, and Luca also helps make this more easier, and the arguments also become solved in the book—in my opinion, the book is balanced in that regard.
I also liked Luca's character; he gives Noel the opportunity to learn how to be loved, accepted, and understood. However, Luca is human too and makes mistakes. And thank goodness I got to read the next part right away, because the ending...
I hope the author will write more books in the future. I really liked her writing style; it is clear but not too simple, with a good balance of internal monologue and dialogue. The plot and chapters progressed logically, the spice was also well written, and the chemistry was clearly visible on the pages. The book contains banter and light conversation, but also deeper thoughts and discussions. Everything was well balanced.
Noel is a relatable character in terms of his emotions, insecurity, and need for reassurance. It was personally frustrating to read about how he was sometimes misunderstood—tho understandably so, given his behavior at times. This did cause the aforementioned drama, but I don't think the author takes it too far, and Noel also has the ability to clearly express his feelings, and Luca also helps make this more easier, and the arguments also become solved in the book—in my opinion, the book is balanced in that regard.
I also liked Luca's character; he gives Noel the opportunity to learn how to be loved, accepted, and understood. However, Luca is human too and makes mistakes. And thank goodness I got to read the next part right away, because the ending...
I hope the author will write more books in the future. I really liked her writing style; it is clear but not too simple, with a good balance of internal monologue and dialogue. The plot and chapters progressed logically, the spice was also well written, and the chemistry was clearly visible on the pages. The book contains banter and light conversation, but also deeper thoughts and discussions. Everything was well balanced.
November 30, 2025
DNF @ 28%
I liked how forward both Noel and Luca were with regards to their roommate agreement. Having them talk about what the other thought about sleeping with each other up front rather than ignoring the obvious elephant in the room made them seem more like adults. Though finding out that Noel has clearly unresolved anger issues + him putting Luca into sexual situations without his explicit consent immediately downgraded him. Jordan may have been cold, but I 100% do not blame him for leaving Noel if he truly was as toxic as we were shown.
When Luca saw Noel smashing the vinyls that Jordan wanted, I could not believe that Luca would be willing to comfort Noel (who's basically a stranger at this point). Any sane person would be absolutely scared off by the psycho demonstrations (which I understand is BPD, but realistically Luca wouldn't have known that). I needed to have a believable reason for Luca to want to continue living on with Noel because there was basically nothing here aside from his attraction keeping him in the story and I thoroughly believe that just sexual attraction is not nearly enough of a justification for him to want to willingly look past the numerous red flags Noel had already thrown his way.
Him randomly saying "I don't mind taking care of him" was so wildly unjustified in my eyes considering he literally just listed out all the reasons he shouldn't have been ok with things. Why didn't he mind? (The answer the story implies is that Luca already cares for Noel, and that's basically instalove at this point considering there wasn't a reason for him to care for a practical stranger at that point)
I liked how forward both Noel and Luca were with regards to their roommate agreement. Having them talk about what the other thought about sleeping with each other up front rather than ignoring the obvious elephant in the room made them seem more like adults. Though finding out that Noel has clearly unresolved anger issues + him putting Luca into sexual situations without his explicit consent immediately downgraded him. Jordan may have been cold, but I 100% do not blame him for leaving Noel if he truly was as toxic as we were shown.
When Luca saw Noel smashing the vinyls that Jordan wanted, I could not believe that Luca would be willing to comfort Noel (who's basically a stranger at this point). Any sane person would be absolutely scared off by the psycho demonstrations (which I understand is BPD, but realistically Luca wouldn't have known that). I needed to have a believable reason for Luca to want to continue living on with Noel because there was basically nothing here aside from his attraction keeping him in the story and I thoroughly believe that just sexual attraction is not nearly enough of a justification for him to want to willingly look past the numerous red flags Noel had already thrown his way.
Him randomly saying "I don't mind taking care of him" was so wildly unjustified in my eyes considering he literally just listed out all the reasons he shouldn't have been ok with things. Why didn't he mind? (The answer the story implies is that Luca already cares for Noel, and that's basically instalove at this point considering there wasn't a reason for him to care for a practical stranger at that point)
August 4, 2025
Sucker Love by Risa Cruise is an emotional, gritty, and captivating debut that completely pulled me in from the start. As the first book in the Sugar Pill Duet, it’s a character-driven story filled with raw emotion, sizzling tension, and complex dynamics between Luca and Noel that will both warm your heart and break it in the same breath.
Noel, with his vulnerability, borderline personality disorder, and struggles with self-harm, is written with such care and authenticity that I couldn’t help but ache for him. He’s misunderstood by so many, but Luca, tattoo artist, roommate, and a man navigating his own baggage sees the fragile yet fierce person underneath. Their connection is intense and magnetic, equal parts love and chaos.
And then there’s Luca. On one hand, he’s tender and protective, but on the other, he’s selfish, repressed, and makes choices that will have you screaming, “What are you doing?!” That ending? Gutted me. It’s not just a cliffhanger, it’s a gut punch that leaves you both furious and desperate for the next book.
Despite my frustration (okay, I wanted to punch Luca a few times), this is such a strong debut. Messy, heartfelt, sexy, and so well-written. I couldn’t put it down. I genuinely don’t know how they’ll get to their HEA, but I need to see it happen. Luca better grovel hard, because Noel deserves someone who puts him first, something Luca seriously failed at.
Noel, with his vulnerability, borderline personality disorder, and struggles with self-harm, is written with such care and authenticity that I couldn’t help but ache for him. He’s misunderstood by so many, but Luca, tattoo artist, roommate, and a man navigating his own baggage sees the fragile yet fierce person underneath. Their connection is intense and magnetic, equal parts love and chaos.
And then there’s Luca. On one hand, he’s tender and protective, but on the other, he’s selfish, repressed, and makes choices that will have you screaming, “What are you doing?!” That ending? Gutted me. It’s not just a cliffhanger, it’s a gut punch that leaves you both furious and desperate for the next book.
Despite my frustration (okay, I wanted to punch Luca a few times), this is such a strong debut. Messy, heartfelt, sexy, and so well-written. I couldn’t put it down. I genuinely don’t know how they’ll get to their HEA, but I need to see it happen. Luca better grovel hard, because Noel deserves someone who puts him first, something Luca seriously failed at.
December 2, 2025
Boy did these two go through it. Especially Noel. His story hurt my heart. Having a parent who is supposed to provide you with unconditional love and be your safe space be the one who makes you feel less than and unworthy is heartbreaking. Through all his hurt he still fought. He fought for the love and acceptance of those who didn’t deserve him, he fought for himself and what he wanted in life and kept fighting to get to a better place where maybe love from the right person wasn’t so scary. Not everything went according to plan but progress was made and the less deserving were weeded out. Luca learning to accept himself was relatable. Trying to be what everyone expected him to be to the point he lost himself was something that happens to the best of us. I enjoyed seeing them come together! I liked they had art in common although in different capacities. I really appreciate that Noel was self aware and knew himself when it came to his mental health. He continued to try and implement what he learned in therapy and he understood his emotions may be big and he was able to reflect. It didn’t negate his behavior but it did show he was trying. Sometimes that’s the best we can do.
This definitely left my flabbers gasted. I did not see the ending concluding the way it did. It did however make me jump straight into Swallow to see what’s next happens next for these two. I’m glad I finally picked this up! 💙🖤💙
This definitely left my flabbers gasted. I did not see the ending concluding the way it did. It did however make me jump straight into Swallow to see what’s next happens next for these two. I’m glad I finally picked this up! 💙🖤💙
November 11, 2025
This book 😭 I am completely destroyed!
The love I now have for these two boys knows no bounds. Noel, precious baby Noel, he must be protected at all costs. I spent the whole book wanting to give him a hug. He has had an awful start to life and he doesn’t know how to properly process his emotions. He’s dramatic in a way I recognise from my early 20’s. The pressure we feel on the cusp of adulthood and the overwhelm of expectations.
Luca, I will not hear a word said against him. He’s floundering in the dark just as much as Noel is. He wants to take care of Noel but he’s really still looking around for an adultier adult too. He has the best intentions but he’s is not in a place to be responsible for another persons emotions.
They felt messy and real and I can live inside their heads in this book.
It’s a rare thing that I feel this level of emotional connection to characters from basically page one. Risa has written such 3D characters I feel like they could just jump out of the page.
The level of empathy written into everything these characters do is phenomenal. Both of them could’ve easily become 2D stereotypes of their worst traits, but they are just SO MUCH MORE than the parts that make them up.
I finished this book in absolute tears at 2am and was so very glad I could move straight onto book 2 - Swallow
I don’t think I will ever recover from this duet and I don’t want to.
The love I now have for these two boys knows no bounds. Noel, precious baby Noel, he must be protected at all costs. I spent the whole book wanting to give him a hug. He has had an awful start to life and he doesn’t know how to properly process his emotions. He’s dramatic in a way I recognise from my early 20’s. The pressure we feel on the cusp of adulthood and the overwhelm of expectations.
Luca, I will not hear a word said against him. He’s floundering in the dark just as much as Noel is. He wants to take care of Noel but he’s really still looking around for an adultier adult too. He has the best intentions but he’s is not in a place to be responsible for another persons emotions.
They felt messy and real and I can live inside their heads in this book.
It’s a rare thing that I feel this level of emotional connection to characters from basically page one. Risa has written such 3D characters I feel like they could just jump out of the page.
The level of empathy written into everything these characters do is phenomenal. Both of them could’ve easily become 2D stereotypes of their worst traits, but they are just SO MUCH MORE than the parts that make them up.
I finished this book in absolute tears at 2am and was so very glad I could move straight onto book 2 - Swallow
I don’t think I will ever recover from this duet and I don’t want to.
November 17, 2025
Sucker Love is the first book in Risa Cruise’s Sugar Pill duet, and it is a story that instantly grabbed my attention. Fortunately, it was also a book that easily held my attention and had me devouring it in no time.
Sucker Love is a book that handles heavy topics, and it did so in a way that ensured I was sucked in deep and felt for the characters. I will be honest and say that I found it easier to feel the connection to one of the characters and their troubles, but I was still curious about how things would play out between them. However, due to my stronger connection to one of the characters, it did mean I felt things were a little pointless toward the end. The events that transpired were a bit predictable, which made it feel like it was pulled into a duet when it could have been a single book. Especially with how little time passed within this story. Despite this, the fact that I was hooked and fell hard for the story meant I was happy to round my rating up to a four-star rating. After all, it kept me hooked and had me wanting more even though I was not overly happy with what happened in the end.
All in all, Sucker Love was an addictive story that ensured I was ready to dive into book two.
Sucker Love is a book that handles heavy topics, and it did so in a way that ensured I was sucked in deep and felt for the characters. I will be honest and say that I found it easier to feel the connection to one of the characters and their troubles, but I was still curious about how things would play out between them. However, due to my stronger connection to one of the characters, it did mean I felt things were a little pointless toward the end. The events that transpired were a bit predictable, which made it feel like it was pulled into a duet when it could have been a single book. Especially with how little time passed within this story. Despite this, the fact that I was hooked and fell hard for the story meant I was happy to round my rating up to a four-star rating. After all, it kept me hooked and had me wanting more even though I was not overly happy with what happened in the end.
All in all, Sucker Love was an addictive story that ensured I was ready to dive into book two.
July 12, 2025
I loved Noel, I loved him so much, and I want him to have all the joy and love and affection and devotion in his life. He's surprisingly open and honest and authentically himself. He expects so little, and unfortunately everyone that he loves honestly keeps abusing that over and over again and I absolutely hate that for him because he is just a doll. And I love him. Noel deserves all of the things. I am glad he has his friends though.
Luca makes me so mad. And you can almost tell what was going to happen because of what happened with Demi. And Demi also deserves all of the good things too, honestly. Luca might be older, but he is so selfish and honestly doesn't realize how his actions impact others until well after the fact. And it doesn't seem like he truly apologizes either. Demi and Noel both deserve groveling. All of the groveling.
I'm going to read book 2, but I don't know if Luca is redeemable to me at this moment. Noel would accept anything, because he thinks he deserves so little (which is wrong, and I love that Cruise made me fall in love with him this much) and that he's so hard to love. But I hope Luca crawls on glass.
Luca makes me so mad. And you can almost tell what was going to happen because of what happened with Demi. And Demi also deserves all of the good things too, honestly. Luca might be older, but he is so selfish and honestly doesn't realize how his actions impact others until well after the fact. And it doesn't seem like he truly apologizes either. Demi and Noel both deserve groveling. All of the groveling.
I'm going to read book 2, but I don't know if Luca is redeemable to me at this moment. Noel would accept anything, because he thinks he deserves so little (which is wrong, and I love that Cruise made me fall in love with him this much) and that he's so hard to love. But I hope Luca crawls on glass.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 18, 2025
I enjoyed this book. For me it was an emotional roller coaster of a hurt/comfort romance. Good world building and wonderful characters. I loved Noel. He certainly has his demons and insecurities to fight. Emotionally broken and traumatized and just wants to be loved and chosen. Luca I have a love/hate relationship with because of how he treated Noel. So fearful of his bigoted father, he hasn't lived the life he needs or wants. I liked the overall dynamic between the two, and their chemistry was sizzling. There were really sweet moments between them, moments of them trying to work through issues, and moments that were gut wrenching. The ending made me BEYOND mad! Seething! Trying not to spoil as a ***-free person myself, to be put on the backburner and essentially abandoned for it from someone who claims to love you? Luca doesn't deserve Noel after that for me. So many options to choose, but he picked the easiest one for him. Noel deserves better! Major cliffhanger and I will be continuing their duet in Swallow. All I can say is Luca better grovel! A great debut novel from this author. 4 stars
July 27, 2025
Sucker Love hits deep and fast, exploring the raw vulnerability of two men who meet at the intersection of heartbreak and rediscovery. Noel is drowning in self-doubt, haunted by abandonment and financial ruin. He genuinely believes he’s “impossible to love.” Enter Luca—a tattoo artist awkward in ways that charm, older, newly divorced, and surprisingly perfect for the chaos Noel carries. The emotional core of their relationship unfolds through a soft Dom/sub dynamic that crackles with tension and care. Luca is stepping into a role he’d buried for seven years, unearthing his need to lead, protect, and claim. Noel, meanwhile, finds solace in surrender—not because it’s expected, but because it’s essential to who he is. Their “mine, yours” energy? Deliciously intense.
The pace is fast, but that doesn’t cheapen the depth. Their bond feels earned—two people with battered histories somehow colliding into something fierce, healing, and bracingly honest. They don’t just fall; they see each other, scars and all, and choose to stay.
The pace is fast, but that doesn’t cheapen the depth. Their bond feels earned—two people with battered histories somehow colliding into something fierce, healing, and bracingly honest. They don’t just fall; they see each other, scars and all, and choose to stay.
November 4, 2025
This was probably my favourite read of the year, except for the ending. But the good thing is, I only discovered this book a few days before the second one comes out. I’m such a sucker for a broken boy who believes he’s unlovable and then finds his great love. Give me that any day of the week and I’m happy.
I also really loved this author’s writing style. The inner monologues were chef’s kiss, and I just wanted to give Noel a hug. The dialogue between the two MMCs was so good too. I’ve read too many books lately where authors just skip over the conversations with a quick “they talked all night,” but this one actually showed it. It felt so real and intimate, and I seriously can’t wait to read more about Luca and Noel.
The only thing that annoyed me was the ending, because I’m just not a fan of unplanned pregnancy plots. Still, I’m super excited for book two and can’t wait to see how it all turns out.
I also really loved this author’s writing style. The inner monologues were chef’s kiss, and I just wanted to give Noel a hug. The dialogue between the two MMCs was so good too. I’ve read too many books lately where authors just skip over the conversations with a quick “they talked all night,” but this one actually showed it. It felt so real and intimate, and I seriously can’t wait to read more about Luca and Noel.
The only thing that annoyed me was the ending, because I’m just not a fan of unplanned pregnancy plots. Still, I’m super excited for book two and can’t wait to see how it all turns out.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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