Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead

by Mai Nguyen

A darkly humorous yet uplifting novel about a grieving mother who starts working at a funeral home and discovers that the best way to honor the dead is to live—from the author of the “insightful, moving” (Taylor Jenkins Reid, New York Times bestselling author) Sunshine Nails.

All Cleo Dang has ever wanted was to be a mother. The day she discovers she’s pregnant is the happiest of her life, especially when she learns that her best friend, Paloma, is also expecting. It’s a wonderful surprise and together, they enjoy their pregnancies. But when they both go to the hospital in labor, something goes very, very wrong. Paloma comes home with a baby. Cleo does not.

Now a grieving Cleo must navigate life after losing her baby. She alienates herself from the world, especially her best friend who is living the life she so desperately wanted. Forced to quit her demanding job as an actuary, Cleo manages to find a job at a funeral home where she meets a revolving door of bereaved locals and discovers the power of confronting grief.

Genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Adult, Canada, Grief, Contemporary, Asian Literature

290 pages, Paperback

Expected publication April 14, 2026

About the author

Mai Nguyen is a Vietnamese Canadian author whose debut novel, Sunshine Nails, was longlisted for Canada Reads and named one of the best books of 2023 by NPR and CBC. Her journalism has appeared in Wired, The Washington Post, and The Toronto Star. Raised in Halifax, she now lives in Toronto with her husband, daughter, and French bulldog. Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead is her second novel.

Reviews

[Hades ( Disney's version ) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Netgalley and Atria Books for an ARC of Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead by Mai Nguyen

For my book girlies please check the trigger warnings with this one! As this book delves into the gut wrenching topic of infant loss & other issues surrounding it.. I say this as your lord & savior of the underworld, ok?.. like, I've seen some 💩 💩 💩 💩. So when I tell you to be careful, please do 🩵

Those of you who have been here for a while know I don't say this too often.. however I think it's very important here because Mai Nguyen has a very beautiful but very raw and realistic way of writing.

While I cannot put myself in your shoes exactly.. at times this book had me feeling like a cat being pet the wrong way. So I can only imagine how someone else would feel if they were personally affected by the heavier topics here.

My personal beef is with that "Dr." of hers that manages her postpartum "care".. I just wanna talk for a few minutes.. just ignore the hungry 3-Headed dog behind me that's foaming at the mouth🫠🫶🏼

Although I am happy to report this book is as equally inspiring as it is devastating. And I do think this book will help a lot of women. If you have experienced infant loss and you're in an OK place in your healing journey, this would be great if you're looking for something genuine relatability. Because you will most definitely find that here!.. I can't remember the last time I routed for a character so intensely. Honestly it even feels weird calling Cleo a "character" because she feels so tangible. Maybe because I know that she is real and she represents millions of women trying to navigate through the darker trenches of life.


My overall take on this was that it's simply outstanding and a must read as a woman. I will definitely be getting a hardcopy book trophy and this is one of those rare books I will be re-reading!





Until next time,
Hades
🩵

[Cara · Rating 4 out of 5]

REVIEW TO COME!!!!!!


🌸🌿The best way to honor the dead is to live🌸🌿!!!!!!!!

[emma]

representation matters

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I didn’t expect the casket to be so small.”

The first sentence of Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead will rip your heart out, but you’ll keep reading because all good books do that to you. The story follows Cleo Dang, a woman whose firstborn daughter, Daisy, passes away just days after being born. Unable to cope with the world, Cleo shuns her husband, her family, and her best friend, Paloma, who coincidentally has a child on the same day, April 29th.

Every day it becomes harder for Cleo to breathe, eat, or even open her eyes. She decides to take a leave from her career as an actuary to work as an assistant at the very funeral home that handled Daisy’s service.

You might think Cleo is crazy, but after the trauma of infant loss, a mother will do anything to keep her mind from the unavoidable. There’s nothing charming or happy here; it’s completely raw. You will cry, and at times you will laugh, as author Mai Nguyen draws from her own experience of losing a daughter just days after birth.

“How tranquil it must be in there. No pain, no uncertainty, no tears, no surprises, no fighting, no stress, no anxiety, no pretending, no exhaustion, no disappointments, no anguish. I’d give anything to trade places with her.”

Part memoir, mostly fiction, I didn’t expect to love this book so much. As a mother myself, I wondered: Why would I want to read this? Why would anyone? Ultimately, this story is about how one survives minute by minute, second by second. Cleo avoids Paloma as pure jealousy sets in; she doesn't even learn Paloma's son’s name until well after he is born.

“I spot the bassinet in the corner, the mobile of clouds and stars spinning glacially above it. I have the same one. We registered for it together. Only mine is collecting dust and hers is collecting sweet dreams.”

The minor characters, especially the coworkers at the funeral home, are intriguing, and some scenes will tear you apart. However, Nguyen sprinkles doses of humor throughout to remind you that life does indeed go on after tragedy.

“Kenneth pulls out a few strands of mustache hair and places them in a mason jar which, from what I can tell, houses several more fallen mustache hairs. I look away and pretend what I just witnessed is a totally normal thing.”

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and Nguyen makes that known. As a mother, I cannot imagine growing someone inside of you only to lose them immediately. To say mothers don’t bear the brunt of the hardest job in the world would be a fallacy, and Nguyen proves it.

“Death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life.”

This book is heartbreaking in so many ways, but it is brilliantly done. Don’t miss it when it’s released on April 14, 2026.

Thanks to Atria for the advanced copy!

[Cassidy Glover · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story will never leave me. I’m not sure that I’m even capable of articulating the impact it has had on me. This story follows the main character Cleo Dang following the loss of her baby and her journey through grief and healing. While I don’t share the same loss, it doesn’t matter because the portrayal of grief was so honest and human that I felt every single word. Without getting too personal into my own story - I felt a comfort that I have not yet had while exploring Cleo’s feelings surrounding the afterlife, having obsessive thoughts about death, and passive suicidal ideation. These aren’t things that are often discussed and it’s so refreshing to see it portrayed with such care within a work of fiction rather than tucked away six pages deep in a random late night Reddit post.

I also want to note that I truly LOVED learning about Vietnamese culture, folk religion and traditions surrounding death and loss (and in general too)! I took breaks from reading to do some more extensive research on everything I was learning so I could fully appreciate it. It was woven throughout the story perfectly.

I have saved MANY highlights and will absolutely be sharing them once this book is released. 🌼

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher and author for the ARC! Adding to my infinity stars list.

[Charlene Carr · Rating 5 out of 5]

My official endorsement:

CLEO DANG WOULD RATHER BE DEAD is a window into grief: its ability to make us our worst selves, but also how, over time, it can turn us into a person who sees life for how precious and beautiful and exquisitely improbable it truly is. Nguyen’s writing is open and vulnerable and so very raw: I cried a lot, but I also laughed and was reminded that grief is a journey that never ends but shifts and morphs and should be tended to as long as is needed. It is a testament to the healing power of connection, and I’m so glad this book exists.

My more personal one: Everything above - PLUS - I've never experienced the pain of losing a full term child. But I can imagine it. I have imagined it over and over again. I've lost enough pregnancies that it feels embarassing to say the number, like people will think I'm a masochist. And during my last pregnancy, the second to give me a living child, I thought of her possibly impending death far too much. For months, I wouldn't let myself think of her as a baby, but rather another impending miscarriage. I didn't truly believe she'd live until I was holding her in my arms, and then, five days later, I thought of her death when we had to take her to the ER and a flurry of doctors and nurses surrounded her and I thought I would be going home without my child.

I thought of her death in the weeks or months after, when I was afraid to sleep because I feared I'd wake up to find her dead, when I was afraid to let my husband hold her, because what if he wasn't paying the close attention I did, and she died from positional asphixiation in her arms.

And so, when I was asked to read an advance copy of this book, debated, and then said yes, I wondered what I was doing. Many times as I read, and cried, I wondered why I kept turning the pages. But I persevered because I knew the author had lived through my worst nightmare, and then lived to write a book about it. Because I trusted if I made it to the end, rather than this book simply being a deptiction of my worst nightmare, it would be a depiction of continuing not despite of, but because of that deep loss, in honour of it. I continued because I imagined her writing about this would help other women who'd lived through that same nightmare, (or ones, like me, who'd come close), feel more seen, and by feeling seen, feel less alone, and I wanted to be a part of that. I'm so glad I continued. This is a beautiful book.

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will never leave me - Mai Nguyen has a gift! This book is so heartbreaking and beautifully written. She does an amazing job discussing grief, loss, and finding joy again.

[evie · Rating 5 out of 5]

review to come 🐣

[Delaney · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book I don’t feel fully adequate to write a review for. The story was told with such care and attention. Definitely a sensitive subject matter, but I thought the author did a great job with it. I read the book in one sitting.

Thank you to the publisher for the gifted arc

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a special book this was, one that had me wiping away tears during one chapter and cackling the next.

Cleo Dang recently suffers the shocking and sudden loss of her infant daughter, an event that tears a hole in the fabric of her life. To make matters more difficult, her lifelong best friend Paloma who’s walked through every stage of life with her, has just given birth to a healthy baby.


After her daughter’s death, Cleo becomes moored in grief, cycling in and out of periods of deep depression, emptiness and anger. She begins isolating and lashing out towards everyone in her life. She feverishly tries anything and everything to distract from her overwhelming grief and the growing lack of desire to live.

While making arrangements for her daughter’s funeral, Cleo is offered a job at the funeral home, and after some hesitation, accepts.

Throughout the rest of the book, we see Cleo embark on a healing journey. It’s realistic and nonlinear, and achingly visceral. Instead of seeing Cleo have a “gotcha” moment where she is suddenly mended, we see her learn to live with her grief.

An angle I particularly appreciated is the integration of Cleo’s identity as a Vietnamese-American woman. As a fellow VietAm woman, I understand the frustration of being raised in a culture that encourages us to just “move on” and suppress our pain.

This is a story that will stay with me forever, and I’ll absolutely be reading Mai’s Nguyen first book now.

Thank you to Atria Books and NetGalley for the ARC!

[Dani (The Pluviophile Writer) · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's been a pleasure to read "Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead" and I'm so thankful I was able to get an advanced reader copy from Netgalley.

Cleo Dang is pregnant with her first child and so is her best friend, Paloma. They live on the same street and everything was coming together so perfectly until it didn't... Paloma gives birth to a healthy baby boy while Cleo's daughter, Daisy, dies of birth complications only a few days after birth. Cleo's life unravels with the tragic loss of her precious baby girl and she ends up taking a job at the same funeral parlor her daughter's service was held at which connects and helps her in ways she did not see coming.

Cleo's story shows all the unique and lonely aspects of child loss grief. It's like nothing else. From inappropriate comments from friends, family, and medical professionals, to strange coping mechanisms, dark humour, relationship and job loss, and ultimately the unwilling reshaping of a person after such life shattering devastation.

What I loved about Nguyen's writing is how honest Cleo's grief portrayal was. It's messy and shows how even well intentioned loved ones misunderstand the grief process in their desperation to get the grieved person "back to normal" but grief, especially traumatic grief, takes all the time it needs. It needs to be heard, to be felt, and for that person to have a safe and supported space to go through that process. Cleo's story is also one of hope, in that it is possible to continue on but not necessarily to move on.

What makes this book so truly poignant and beautiful is that the writing truly comes from the heart, as Cleo's story is a fictionalized retelling of the Nguyen's own child loss, as she too, lost her daughter. Cleo's story, this tragic unfolding of real grief, is just what our grief illiterate world needs.

I wish I didn't find this book relatable but, like the author, I have also experienced child loss when my first born son's heart suddenly and inexplicably stopped beating when I was 27 weeks pregnant. The agony of his loss is still with me and is so aptly captured in Cleo's story. I saw so much of myself in Cleo. The story brought back some of the rawness of that grief but in the best way possible. As an avid reader, I have struggled to read since my son's passing and have not been able to relate to other child loss books I was able to get through, that is until this one. If you have lost a child, I am so profoundly sorry for your loss, it is not a club that anyone wants to be a part of but it does have the best people in it. This book will speak to you and the loneliness, you no doubt, feel and I highly recommend it.

I can't wait until this book is published so that I can get a copy to share with friends and family. Thank you, Mai, for writing this book.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm thankful to have won this book in a Goodreads giveaway. Books with strong, raw emotion that don't shy away from the realness of life are special. While this book definitely has that, I wish there was time to build a connection with the main character first. Because that didn't exist, I struggled to feel this book as deeply as it deserved.

[Jaclyn Wingfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a heartbreaking and raw, but absolutely beautiful book. I feel changed for the better, reading this. I don’t know if I can properly articulate its impact.

Death is complicated, but Mai wrote about it so eloquently. She didn’t shy away from the realities of death and its impact on the living: jobs, relationships, personalities. Mai’s writing style is engaging, relatable and humorous. It was refreshing to read a story that felt realistic and honest, even the messy parts. As much as this is a story about death, it’s also about healing and how you live with grief.

It was interesting to learn more about Vietnamese culture as it was scattered throughout the story; the ways culture shows up in grief.

Last thought - wow wow wow Palmoa is such an understanding friend. She held Cleo accountable when she needed it, but was soft when that was needed too.

I am so grateful to Atria books, who provided this ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Ellen Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book literally has it all. I laughed at the dark humor, frowned at the grief, and smiled at the strength of the main character Cleo. Such a clever plot! There are many beautiful takeaways in this story of how we handle grief and continue living. Cleo has to deal with her grief, her marriage, a job, and difficult relationships with others and it was fascinating to see how she navigated it all. This book definitely will tug at your heart in so many ways. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Mac · Rating 4 out of 5]

There’s no mistaking that this book comes from the personal experiences of the author. It’s such a heavy topic and while the unbearable grief was obviously informed by reality, the humor had to have been, as well. I love books on grief, but I’ve never read one about the loss of an infant. It explores so many aspects of motherhood, family, loss, depression, and the grieving process. While there are certain parts unique to this experience, there are also musings on grief in general that anyone can relate to. I was drawn in by the fact that this was blurbed by Emily Austin and I can see similarities for sure. Super dark humor that ultimately lends itself to an empathetic portrayal of a struggling character. Overall, heavy subject matter handled with the weight it demands without sacrificing levity.

Thank you to NetGalley and Atria for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Elena Enns · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Simon and Schuster, Atria Books, and the author for the ARC copy of this novel.

This novel explores grief in such a raw and real way, that I almost felt as though I was living it. Mai Nguyen takes the reader though the wild ride of the hours after death, through the year of trying to learn how to live with it. I think one of the main things that have been imparted on me because of this novel, was that there is no right way to grieve and you shouldn't let others expectations on how you should grieve effect your processing.

[Adelene Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐

[Karen Wilber · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written book. Captured so many elements of grief, and I appreciated the way the author showed an experience with grief within a Vietnamese family. Maybe don't read it on a plane like I did, a lot of tissues are needed. Mai Nguyen is clearly very talented! Thank you Atria via Netgalley for the ARC.

[Parker]

tbr note: I HAVE WAITED SO LONG FOR NEWS OF A NEW MAI NGUYEN NOVEL. I am beyond excited. Sunshine Nails was one of my favorite books of 2023. You KNOW I am preordering this so fast.

[Kristen Cook - A Book Ninja · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead caught my attention by the title. When I was browsing NetGalley and saw this title and cover, I knew I had to read it so I was thrilled when my request was approved. I had not read Mai Nguyen's debut novel but knew it was well received.

This is not an easy book to read. The description alone should give any reader an idea what is to come. But very early on it was evident to me that Nguyen was intimately knowledgable with grief. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind.

There were times that I wanted to reach through the pages and shake Cleo and tell her not to do what she was doing. Nguyen drew me so deep in to the story that I felt like I knew Cleo and wanted to help her avoid what was to come.

I never dreamt that this book would make it on my Favorite Books of 2025 but it sure did. It is a raw honest dive in to grief.

I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my first 5-star read of 2026, and will absolutely be in my top 10 book list of 2026.

Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead is about the grief of losing a newborn baby. The mother, Cleo, eventually starts working at the funeral home she and her husband used for their daughter Daisy’s service. She mainly chooses this just to keep busy and occupy her mind, but she ends up discovering so much more than she would have ever thought possible.

In the author’s note, she explains that she lost her daughter in the same way, and wrote this book to channel her grief. It’s impossible for me to write a further review of this book without getting a little personal too.

I have lost a child, although he wasn’t a baby. He was 7. He was beautiful, smart, loving, funny, and empathetic.
Reading this story was a cathartic experience for me. I could relate to a lot of it, and the way the author described certain experiences or feelings made me wonder if she had somehow magically climbed into my head and camped out there for awhile. It made me revisit things I do my best to avoid but in a safe and comforting way. I added many lines to my Notes app where I keep a running list of quotes I never want to forget. I think this book is beneficial to anyone that’s grieving, but also for those who want to understand and support someone else that’s grieving.

I’ll be in a book hangover for awhile from this one. I can easily claim that Cleo is one of my favorite characters I’ve ever read in a book; I wanted to hug her big and assure her that everything will be ok. The writing is beautiful and heartfelt and real. I was hesitant to read this book because of what I’ve experienced, but I shouldn’t have been. And neither should you. Cleo and the rest of these unforgettable characters will take very good care of you.

I promise. ❤️

*Thank you @netgalley and @atriabooks for this advanced reader copy. This book hits shelves on April 14.

[unstable.books · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead is a raw exploration of grief with no soft edges in sight, and it is all the more powerful for it. Cleo's loss is immediate and devastating. Nguyen does not rush her through it. Instead, we sit with Cleo in the uncomfortable and isolating aftermath. Any joy feels like a betrayal and even her closest relationships show cracks under the immeasurable weight of what has been taken. What makes the novel stand out is its tonal balance. The humor is dry and biting, arriving at unexpected moments, thus mirroring the strange nature of grief. Cleo takes a new job at a funeral home during her leave from her main workplace. This funeral home becomes more than just a backdrop. It becomes a space where death is reframed, allowing Cleo, and the reader, to examine loss from new angles. The varied cast of mourners adds texture and shows us grief is never singular even at its most lonely. Nguyen also handles friendship and relationship dynamics with care, including the painful distance between Cleo and her best friend, Paloma. Ultimately, this story is about survival just as much as it is about recovery. Learning how to "move on" means living alongside absence. It is truly heartbreaking and also stubbornly hopeful. This novel is such a gut-wrenching look at a specific type of grief and there were moments I found myself on the brink of tears. Nguyen really poured her heart out and I thank her for sharing pieces of her pain weaved into this work of fiction. The authors note pulled back the curtain a bit. I feel like anyone who has experienced loss, particularly infant loss, may find some comfort and solidarity in these pages. As always, take care with your own personal triggers before reading. Thank you Atria Books for mailing me a gifted copy for review and to NetGalley for the eARC. You can pick this book up when it publishes April 14th, 2026 wherever you buy your books.

[Stephanie (ITakePicturesOfBooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead by Mai Nguyen is a raw, emotionally intense novel that doesn’t shy away from the messiness of grief. It follows Cleo as she navigates life after the unimaginable loss of her newborn daughter. A loss that reshapes her identity, relationships, and sense of purpose. What really stood out to me was how unfiltered and real her voice feels.

Nguyen portrays grief as it is, messy, and often isolating, manifesting as anger, numbness, and dark humour. I appreciated how the novel explores grief as something nonlinear and all-consuming rather than something that can be neatly resolved.

The funeral home setting added an interesting layer, and I also liked how cultural identity and family expectations were woven into Cleo’s experience.

Overall, Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead is a powerful, intimate novel that stays with you after the final page. It’s not an easy read, but it is a meaningful one that confronts life’s hardest realities without flinching.

Thank you Mai Nguyen, Atria Books, and NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Sonja · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Sunshine Nails and I love Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead. I think I will read anything Mai Nguyen will write.

Cleo Dang is a brutally honest look at what it feels like to lose a baby. Sometimes there is humor when dealing with terrible things, looking at the absurd helps buffer the awfulness. This novel is heartbreaking, heartwarming, and most of all, sincere and completely candid. It packs a punch.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this novel.

[Kira · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an absolutely incredible novel on grief. Beautiful and devastating in equal measure. I had almost nothing in common with the main character, however those feelings of grief are so universal, and Nguyen put them into words in an absolutely magnificent way. With so much care and love.

Thank you to net galley and the publishers for the e-arc. Checking her previous book out of the library ASAP.

[mel. · Rating 4 out of 5]

trigger warnings: childloss and grief

honestly, the title and cover grabbed my attention immediately. and when i read the blurb, i was even more intrigued. the story follows cleo navigating the trauma and grief of losing her first child during labour by getting a job at a funeral home.

with a title like “cleo dang would rather be dead” i was expecting dark humour and sarcasm everywhere, and mai (@bymainguyen ) delivered. i was laughing, crying, relating, and processing my own grief along with cleo. i can’t relate exactly to what cleo has gone through, but i can relate to the grief of losing an imagined and highly anticipated future, and how that changes the relationships around you. grief can be so isolating, even from the people in your own home. mai did a beautiful job of showing how that can happen and how human our reactions to grief can be.

there were some moments where i was uncomfortable with some of the things cleo say or did, but that reaction reminded me that grief as a whole is uncomfortable. it’s all consuming and endless takes from us- our friends, family, diginity, sanity sometimes- and mai did an absolutely stunning job of protraying that with cleo through her internal dialouge. but as cleo learns, sharing our experiences and feelings about our grief can be so grounding and healing. the support we gain from having a community that can truly relate and understand is so important, and mai illustrates this in a gorgeous way inspired from her own experience.

available April 24, 2026 ❤️‍🩹

thank you @simonschusterca for the arc!

[Trisha]

A huge thank you to the author and publisher for providing an e-ARC via Netgalley. This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.

[Courtney Holcomb · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story resonates deeply with anyone who has experienced loss, leaving a mark on my heart.

[Kayla Jacques · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, this book was so well written. Mai Nguyen worded this expierience of grief so beautifully and it really go to my heart. I HAVE to read her other books now.

[Mary Fabrizio · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an excruciating read. The author honors her dead child by sharing her grief but it's a painful read. I didn't find any "dark humor" and just wanted to finish it to honor her too.