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One Bad Mother: In Praise of Psycho Housewives, Stage Parents, Momfluencers, and Other Women We Love to Hate
For fans of the witty and evocative writing of Anne Helen Petersen and Amanda Montell, a sharply clever exploration of what it means to be a “bad mom” by delving into the world of momfluencers, stage moms, trad wives, and more.
We all have an idea what it means to be a good little screen time, kids hitting their milestones, endless patience and understanding, and self-sacrifice on behalf of one’s children. But what does it mean to be a “bad mom” in modern society? Women as wide-ranging as Meghan Markle, Hannah Neelman (of Ballerina Farm), and anyone giving birth over forty, have been labeled “bad moms.” In a world where the rules are constantly changing, it feels like women simply cannot win.
With this in mind, in her first book, Ej Dickson takes a sharp, provocative look at one of society’s most polarizing the “bad mom.” What makes a mother “bad,” and why? Through the lens of pop culture and American history, Ej Dickson explores how this trope has evolved—from Victorian “angels in the house” to the infamous Mommie Dearest, from Instagram influencers like EmRata and Mormon momfluencers to fictional icons like The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
Each chapter dives into a different archetype of so-called bad motherhood—like the Stage Mom, the Tiger Mom, the MILF, the MLM hun—challenging us to rethink our assumptions about femininity, parenting, and societal expectations. Drawing on insightful analysis and interviews, Dickson unpacks why our culture is obsessed with vilifying moms and how issues of race and class shape these narratives. Are bad moms truly “bad,” or do they simply defy norms we don’t fully understand—or fear?
This isn’t just cultural commentary—it’s a clarion call. Because if we really take a close look, we might find that some of the women we’ve reviled throughout history are due for a reassessment — and in doing so, moms today may take some much-needed pressure off themselves. One Bad Mother invites moms everywhere to stop chasing impossible standards, reclaim their autonomy, and maybe—just maybe—enjoy motherhood for what it is, not what it’s “supposed” to be.
Thoughtful, eye-opening, and downright funny at times, One Bad Mother is a vital exploration of modern motherhood.
We all have an idea what it means to be a good little screen time, kids hitting their milestones, endless patience and understanding, and self-sacrifice on behalf of one’s children. But what does it mean to be a “bad mom” in modern society? Women as wide-ranging as Meghan Markle, Hannah Neelman (of Ballerina Farm), and anyone giving birth over forty, have been labeled “bad moms.” In a world where the rules are constantly changing, it feels like women simply cannot win.
With this in mind, in her first book, Ej Dickson takes a sharp, provocative look at one of society’s most polarizing the “bad mom.” What makes a mother “bad,” and why? Through the lens of pop culture and American history, Ej Dickson explores how this trope has evolved—from Victorian “angels in the house” to the infamous Mommie Dearest, from Instagram influencers like EmRata and Mormon momfluencers to fictional icons like The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.
Each chapter dives into a different archetype of so-called bad motherhood—like the Stage Mom, the Tiger Mom, the MILF, the MLM hun—challenging us to rethink our assumptions about femininity, parenting, and societal expectations. Drawing on insightful analysis and interviews, Dickson unpacks why our culture is obsessed with vilifying moms and how issues of race and class shape these narratives. Are bad moms truly “bad,” or do they simply defy norms we don’t fully understand—or fear?
This isn’t just cultural commentary—it’s a clarion call. Because if we really take a close look, we might find that some of the women we’ve reviled throughout history are due for a reassessment — and in doing so, moms today may take some much-needed pressure off themselves. One Bad Mother invites moms everywhere to stop chasing impossible standards, reclaim their autonomy, and maybe—just maybe—enjoy motherhood for what it is, not what it’s “supposed” to be.
Thoughtful, eye-opening, and downright funny at times, One Bad Mother is a vital exploration of modern motherhood.
352 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 10, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 158 reviews
February 18, 2026
Thank you to the publisher for the release day copy!
I was genuinely excited to dive into this book after receiving a copy through NetGalley, as the premise sounded absolutely fantastic. Unfortunately, the execution did not live up to its potential, and I ultimately decided to stop reading at the 62% mark. While the core concept remains intriguing, the reading experience was severely hindered by a rigid structure, frustrating formatting choices, and an inconsistent tone that made it difficult to stay engaged.
My primary issue with the book is its extremely formulaic chapter layout. Every single chapter follows the exact same pattern: an interesting title, an opening case study, a dive into the broader theme, and a predictable conclusion that circles back to the introduction. It felt uncomfortably reminiscent of a college essay where the writer is desperately trying to make the first and last sentences of a paragraph match. Because I always knew exactly how a chapter was going to end the moment it began, the narrative quickly lost any sense of momentum.
The reading experience was further bogged down by formatting choices that felt more appropriate for an academic thesis than a published book. The constant, lengthy footnotes were incredibly disruptive, especially when reading on a Kindle where tapping back and forth completely breaks the immersion. Rather than smoothly folding these long thoughts into the narrative, they continually pulled me out of the flow. Additionally, the constant use of superscript AMA-style references scattered throughout the text was highly distracting, reinforcing the feeling that this was an unpolished academic paper.
Content-wise, the author's arguments quickly became repetitive. The narrative frequently falls into a loop of presenting an event, stating the author's disagreement with it, explaining why others might support it, and sprinkling in familiar statements about the patriarchy that offer no new insights. The author attempts to inject humor into the academic text, but these moments are too sporadic to be effective. The blend of comedy and academia simply does not work here, leaving the tone feeling confused. For readers looking for a successful execution of a humorous historical perspective, a book like Unruly manages this balance much better.
Despite my frustrations, there were a few redeeming qualities. I did learn about several interesting movies, books, and historical moments, and it was fun to explore these cultural references. Ultimately, however, these scattered interesting tidbits were not enough to save a book that felt deeply repetitive and structurally predictable. It is always a shame when a great concept fails to hit the mark, but this one simply did not work for me.
I was genuinely excited to dive into this book after receiving a copy through NetGalley, as the premise sounded absolutely fantastic. Unfortunately, the execution did not live up to its potential, and I ultimately decided to stop reading at the 62% mark. While the core concept remains intriguing, the reading experience was severely hindered by a rigid structure, frustrating formatting choices, and an inconsistent tone that made it difficult to stay engaged.
My primary issue with the book is its extremely formulaic chapter layout. Every single chapter follows the exact same pattern: an interesting title, an opening case study, a dive into the broader theme, and a predictable conclusion that circles back to the introduction. It felt uncomfortably reminiscent of a college essay where the writer is desperately trying to make the first and last sentences of a paragraph match. Because I always knew exactly how a chapter was going to end the moment it began, the narrative quickly lost any sense of momentum.
The reading experience was further bogged down by formatting choices that felt more appropriate for an academic thesis than a published book. The constant, lengthy footnotes were incredibly disruptive, especially when reading on a Kindle where tapping back and forth completely breaks the immersion. Rather than smoothly folding these long thoughts into the narrative, they continually pulled me out of the flow. Additionally, the constant use of superscript AMA-style references scattered throughout the text was highly distracting, reinforcing the feeling that this was an unpolished academic paper.
Content-wise, the author's arguments quickly became repetitive. The narrative frequently falls into a loop of presenting an event, stating the author's disagreement with it, explaining why others might support it, and sprinkling in familiar statements about the patriarchy that offer no new insights. The author attempts to inject humor into the academic text, but these moments are too sporadic to be effective. The blend of comedy and academia simply does not work here, leaving the tone feeling confused. For readers looking for a successful execution of a humorous historical perspective, a book like Unruly manages this balance much better.
Despite my frustrations, there were a few redeeming qualities. I did learn about several interesting movies, books, and historical moments, and it was fun to explore these cultural references. Ultimately, however, these scattered interesting tidbits were not enough to save a book that felt deeply repetitive and structurally predictable. It is always a shame when a great concept fails to hit the mark, but this one simply did not work for me.
May 2, 2026
4/5
Įdomi, gyvai parašyta knyga, kuri, kaip ir galima tikėtis, apie "blogas" mamas kalba kiek iš kitos pusės. Nes kas iš tiesų yra bloga mama? Kuri visą dieną prižiūri vaiką, o tada pascrollina Tiktoke, kol jis laimingas gūguoja šalia? Ta, kuri kartais vakarienei patiekia pusfabrikačius, o ne subalansuotą patiekalą? Ta, kuri skiepija vaiką? Neskiepija? Veda į darželį, palieka auklei? Homeschoolina? Atsakymas apie tai, kas yra bloga mama, gali priklausyti nuo milijono dalykų, laikmečio ir šalies, bet kyla klausimas: kai tiek spaudimo iš aplinkos ir mūsų pačių, ar tų gerų mamų tikrai dar yra? Ar kada nors buvo? O gal užtenka būti pakankamai gera?
Autorė paliečia ne tik akivaizdžias temas, tokias kaip žudančios ar smurtaujančios mamos, tačiau kalba ir apie rasizmą, socialinę atskirtį, mamas influenceres, mamas antivakseres, dirbančias ir liekančias namuose, tradwives ir mamas, kurios pasidavė tinklinio marketingo pažadams. Vietomis man trūko gelmės, tačiau knyga tikriausiai ir nežadėjo, kad čia bus gilus sociologinis tyrimas. O šiaip sukėlė daug minčių ir vidinės savirefleksijos, tai kaip ir nesužinojau nieko labai naujo, tačiau autorės prieigos prie temos patiko, vietomis nustebino netikėtais kampais ir be didaktikos švelniai įkvėpė. Rekomenduoju.
Įdomi, gyvai parašyta knyga, kuri, kaip ir galima tikėtis, apie "blogas" mamas kalba kiek iš kitos pusės. Nes kas iš tiesų yra bloga mama? Kuri visą dieną prižiūri vaiką, o tada pascrollina Tiktoke, kol jis laimingas gūguoja šalia? Ta, kuri kartais vakarienei patiekia pusfabrikačius, o ne subalansuotą patiekalą? Ta, kuri skiepija vaiką? Neskiepija? Veda į darželį, palieka auklei? Homeschoolina? Atsakymas apie tai, kas yra bloga mama, gali priklausyti nuo milijono dalykų, laikmečio ir šalies, bet kyla klausimas: kai tiek spaudimo iš aplinkos ir mūsų pačių, ar tų gerų mamų tikrai dar yra? Ar kada nors buvo? O gal užtenka būti pakankamai gera?
Autorė paliečia ne tik akivaizdžias temas, tokias kaip žudančios ar smurtaujančios mamos, tačiau kalba ir apie rasizmą, socialinę atskirtį, mamas influenceres, mamas antivakseres, dirbančias ir liekančias namuose, tradwives ir mamas, kurios pasidavė tinklinio marketingo pažadams. Vietomis man trūko gelmės, tačiau knyga tikriausiai ir nežadėjo, kad čia bus gilus sociologinis tyrimas. O šiaip sukėlė daug minčių ir vidinės savirefleksijos, tai kaip ir nesužinojau nieko labai naujo, tačiau autorės prieigos prie temos patiko, vietomis nustebino netikėtais kampais ir be didaktikos švelniai įkvėpė. Rekomenduoju.
March 4, 2026
For me, this book was very unrelatable. I was intrigued by the subtitle: “stage mothers, influencers, and psycho housewives” and thought, “Okay, I can get into this.” What I got instead was a Brooklyn-based, fairly elitist, white-man-hating perspective that repeatedly misinterpreted developmental psychology research and current events.
As I read, it became clear that the author and I are on very different sides of the fence in how we interpret both research and culture. I hold degrees in developmental child and adolescent psychology and taught parent education at a local college for eight years. The way I understand and teach developmental research differs significantly from how she framed it here.
My overall impression is that the book comes from an urban-centered, secular, and strongly progressive vantage point. That perspective may resonate with some readers, but for me it felt narrow and dismissive. It seemed to alienate a large percentage of women and mothers who don’t view all societal problems through the same ideological lens.
Ultimately, this just wasn’t the nuanced cultural analysis I was hoping for.
As I read, it became clear that the author and I are on very different sides of the fence in how we interpret both research and culture. I hold degrees in developmental child and adolescent psychology and taught parent education at a local college for eight years. The way I understand and teach developmental research differs significantly from how she framed it here.
My overall impression is that the book comes from an urban-centered, secular, and strongly progressive vantage point. That perspective may resonate with some readers, but for me it felt narrow and dismissive. It seemed to alienate a large percentage of women and mothers who don’t view all societal problems through the same ideological lens.
Ultimately, this just wasn’t the nuanced cultural analysis I was hoping for.
Did Not Finish
May 15, 2026I DNF this book because it reads like a research paper with a heavy focus on TV shows and movies. If you have not watched the show or the movie, brace yourself for a whole chapter that keeps referencing something you never watched. Couldn't do it, but it might still be a great book for someone else.
May 22, 2026
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I picked up One Bad Mother expecting a deep dive into society's obsession with labeling certain women as "bad mothers." What I got was part cultural history, part media analysis, and part opinion piece examining everyone from stage moms and momfluencers to celebrity mothers and trad wives.
This is very much an essay collection rather than a narrative nonfiction book. Each chapter tackles a different motherhood archetype and explores where these stereotypes came from, why they persist, and who benefits from keeping them alive. Dickson combines interviews, research, historical context, and pop culture examples to explore her thesis. Though, she is far from a neutral observer because her own opinions are woven throughout the analysis. Readers looking for a purely academic examination may find the book more subjective than expected.
What kept me reading was how often the book challenged assumptions I didn't realize I had. Dickson repeatedly asks readers to examine why certain mothers become public villains while others receive sympathy. She explores how factors like race, class, celebrity status, and media framing influence those judgments. I found myself rethinking several of my own biases while questioning how much of my perception had been shaped by headlines, social media, and carefully crafted public relations campaigns.
Not every chapter felt equally relevant to me. There were moments when I wished the book would spend more time presenting evidence and less time arguing a position. Even so, I learned quite a bit from it. I think that the strongest nonfiction books send me down mental rabbit holes long after I finish reading. One Bad Mother definitely accomplished that.
One Bad Mother probably isn't the book for you if you're looking for a compelling story. You will likely find plenty to think about if you're interested in cultural criticism, motherhood expectations, media narratives, and examining your own biases.
✏ Instagram ✏ My Blog ✏ The StoryGraph ✏ TikTok ✏ Facebook
I picked up One Bad Mother expecting a deep dive into society's obsession with labeling certain women as "bad mothers." What I got was part cultural history, part media analysis, and part opinion piece examining everyone from stage moms and momfluencers to celebrity mothers and trad wives.
This is very much an essay collection rather than a narrative nonfiction book. Each chapter tackles a different motherhood archetype and explores where these stereotypes came from, why they persist, and who benefits from keeping them alive. Dickson combines interviews, research, historical context, and pop culture examples to explore her thesis. Though, she is far from a neutral observer because her own opinions are woven throughout the analysis. Readers looking for a purely academic examination may find the book more subjective than expected.
What kept me reading was how often the book challenged assumptions I didn't realize I had. Dickson repeatedly asks readers to examine why certain mothers become public villains while others receive sympathy. She explores how factors like race, class, celebrity status, and media framing influence those judgments. I found myself rethinking several of my own biases while questioning how much of my perception had been shaped by headlines, social media, and carefully crafted public relations campaigns.
Not every chapter felt equally relevant to me. There were moments when I wished the book would spend more time presenting evidence and less time arguing a position. Even so, I learned quite a bit from it. I think that the strongest nonfiction books send me down mental rabbit holes long after I finish reading. One Bad Mother definitely accomplished that.
One Bad Mother probably isn't the book for you if you're looking for a compelling story. You will likely find plenty to think about if you're interested in cultural criticism, motherhood expectations, media narratives, and examining your own biases.
February 16, 2026
Idk yet .. I mostly liked this book but I have a few issues with it 🫣 let’s stop bashing moms but at the same time talk about a case we never followed. Seems fitting for a different type of book. Also, I feel it didn’t need to be clearly said IVE NEVER DONE THIS .. putting yourself in that category of I’m not like these mothers, but I could be. It could have been said that not everyone has the same experiences without pointing out that you’re not that way. It felt more like a point to me than a comparison. Then again I guess it goes to prove the book right?
THAT’S MY OPINIONNNNNN
THAT’S MY OPINIONNNNNN
March 5, 2026
That was an incredibly painful listen and were it not for the GoodReads winter challenge, I would not have finished this.
Ej sounded so angry for all of the narration besides the final chapter. The final chapter is the only reason I gave her 2 stars instead of 1.
Essentially this book came across as if you are a middle class white, heteronormative, cis-gendered mom then everything you do is wrong and you just need to fall in line with the fact that you're inherently racist just for being. But if you are a "poor (financially) black or brown Mom" then everything you do is either right or if it was wrong it's only because the world is racist and everyone else's fault.
Ej puts the premises that all "bad" moms are basically just doing their best, which I can mostly get behind, but then keeps throwing in smack talking conservatives as well as republican politicians. It wasn't until 59% of the book when she finally also acknowledged something negative about a Democratic politician. Then swiftly back to blaming conservatives
and Republicans for things.
Ej sounded so angry for all of the narration besides the final chapter. The final chapter is the only reason I gave her 2 stars instead of 1.
Essentially this book came across as if you are a middle class white, heteronormative, cis-gendered mom then everything you do is wrong and you just need to fall in line with the fact that you're inherently racist just for being. But if you are a "poor (financially) black or brown Mom" then everything you do is either right or if it was wrong it's only because the world is racist and everyone else's fault.
Ej puts the premises that all "bad" moms are basically just doing their best, which I can mostly get behind, but then keeps throwing in smack talking conservatives as well as republican politicians. It wasn't until 59% of the book when she finally also acknowledged something negative about a Democratic politician. Then swiftly back to blaming conservatives
and Republicans for things.
March 3, 2026
This book sounded so interesting.. and it was! I listened to 1/4 of it in one sitting! I really wanted to continue on with it but there was one thing that stood out brighter than the story itself: the author’s hate for men, especially those that are conservative. Feminism HAS ruined the nuclear family. Women in the workplace are fine, you can have dreams and ambitions without blaming “misogyny” and “the patriarchy.” If you’re looking for a progressive, liberal take on American motherhood with all of the CNN buzzwords and key players, this is the book for you!! If you’re looking for an unbiased take on motherhood, this book will have you rolling your eyes.
March 1, 2026
Not for me!
Too much like an academic paper than a novel. Every chapter was the same and there was nothing new to learn. It really felt like one case study after the next to prove every notion of a “bad” mother ever described.
Too much like an academic paper than a novel. Every chapter was the same and there was nothing new to learn. It really felt like one case study after the next to prove every notion of a “bad” mother ever described.
April 5, 2026
This book felt like a messy, honest conversation about motherhood—the kind people don’t usually say out loud.
One Bad Mother dives into the pressures, contradictions, and quiet guilt that come with being a modern mother. It questions the impossible standards women are expected to meet and explores what it really means to be “good” or “bad” in a role that has no clear rules.
What I appreciated most was the honesty. Ej Dickson doesn’t try to sugarcoat things. There’s humor, frustration, and a kind of raw vulnerability that makes you feel seen—especially in the moments where motherhood feels overwhelming or isolating.
That said, the book didn’t always fully land for me.
At times, the narrative felt a bit scattered, jumping between ideas without diving deep enough into any one of them. Some points were insightful, but others felt underdeveloped or repetitive. I found myself wanting more structure or stronger takeaways to really tie everything together.
Still, there are moments that stick—lines that feel uncomfortably true and reflections that linger after you’ve finished.
✨ Overall:
Honest, relatable, and thought-provoking—but slightly uneven in depth and structure.
One Bad Mother dives into the pressures, contradictions, and quiet guilt that come with being a modern mother. It questions the impossible standards women are expected to meet and explores what it really means to be “good” or “bad” in a role that has no clear rules.
What I appreciated most was the honesty. Ej Dickson doesn’t try to sugarcoat things. There’s humor, frustration, and a kind of raw vulnerability that makes you feel seen—especially in the moments where motherhood feels overwhelming or isolating.
That said, the book didn’t always fully land for me.
At times, the narrative felt a bit scattered, jumping between ideas without diving deep enough into any one of them. Some points were insightful, but others felt underdeveloped or repetitive. I found myself wanting more structure or stronger takeaways to really tie everything together.
Still, there are moments that stick—lines that feel uncomfortably true and reflections that linger after you’ve finished.
✨ Overall:
Honest, relatable, and thought-provoking—but slightly uneven in depth and structure.
March 6, 2026
There’s so much I disagree with in this book on top of it being a pretty dry read.
March 17, 2026
I love getting my hands on a brand new book at the library, especially one that just came out. And yes, you can put holds on new books while they’re still on order. I do it all the time. 😊
The cover on this one is so good.
This was my first time reading EJ Dickson, and I really liked her voice. She’s funny, a bit edgy, and self-aware in a way that actually made me laugh a few times.
The book explores the “bad mother” trope in pop culture, with early essays looking at shows like The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and characters like Peg Bundy. Those chapters were a bit slower for me. I was more interested in the sections on momfluencers and MAHA moms.
What stood out most was how she talks about the pressure of motherhood and acknowledges how differently that pressure shows up across race. The chapter on antivaxxers really got me, not because I agree, but because of how honestly she writes about the desperation of trying to understand your child. That part hit close to home.
I gave it a 3.5⭐️. A bit uneven at the start, but I’d definitely read more from her.
The cover on this one is so good.
This was my first time reading EJ Dickson, and I really liked her voice. She’s funny, a bit edgy, and self-aware in a way that actually made me laugh a few times.
The book explores the “bad mother” trope in pop culture, with early essays looking at shows like The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and characters like Peg Bundy. Those chapters were a bit slower for me. I was more interested in the sections on momfluencers and MAHA moms.
What stood out most was how she talks about the pressure of motherhood and acknowledges how differently that pressure shows up across race. The chapter on antivaxxers really got me, not because I agree, but because of how honestly she writes about the desperation of trying to understand your child. That part hit close to home.
I gave it a 3.5⭐️. A bit uneven at the start, but I’d definitely read more from her.
March 5, 2026
*audiobook
This one is sadly a DNF for me. I tried to get into it because the premise sounded great.
You can tell the author did some solid research. Unfortunately it read like a research paper rather than a book.
It was also a bit repetitive. Never fully capturing my interest.
I just don’t think this one is for me. I thought it was going to be a mix of insight about how moms are treated and expectations of them, and true crime / case studies.
The cover was super eye catching though. Creepy cool vibes.
This one is sadly a DNF for me. I tried to get into it because the premise sounded great.
You can tell the author did some solid research. Unfortunately it read like a research paper rather than a book.
It was also a bit repetitive. Never fully capturing my interest.
I just don’t think this one is for me. I thought it was going to be a mix of insight about how moms are treated and expectations of them, and true crime / case studies.
The cover was super eye catching though. Creepy cool vibes.
April 7, 2026
*Audiobook.
Unsure how I felt about this one, and I guess that's an answer in itself. Ej frames this book as a chance to reassess historically maligned women and assert that the "bad mom" trope is a tool for social control. Okay, those are her stated objectives but thinking back on the chapters, I'm not sure she made her case effectively.
Her strongest chapters were the ones tracing how the idea of motherhood shifted from industrious/outside the home to home-and-childcare-centered, and then the MILFs, stage mothers, welfare queens, and, surprisingly, the granola/MAHA tropes. With those chapters I could clearly connect the examples with her arguments. She lost me with the other examples she brought up. In general, I wasn't a fan of the narrative style, and I didn't leave feeling like I'd learned something new or seen mothers/motherhood in a new way.
Unsure how I felt about this one, and I guess that's an answer in itself. Ej frames this book as a chance to reassess historically maligned women and assert that the "bad mom" trope is a tool for social control. Okay, those are her stated objectives but thinking back on the chapters, I'm not sure she made her case effectively.
Her strongest chapters were the ones tracing how the idea of motherhood shifted from industrious/outside the home to home-and-childcare-centered, and then the MILFs, stage mothers, welfare queens, and, surprisingly, the granola/MAHA tropes. With those chapters I could clearly connect the examples with her arguments. She lost me with the other examples she brought up. In general, I wasn't a fan of the narrative style, and I didn't leave feeling like I'd learned something new or seen mothers/motherhood in a new way.
March 21, 2026
There were parts of this book that fascinated me. It has also made me realize I like to read collections of essays, slay!!!
I will start by saying: I'm not a mother. I couldn't directly relate to anything mentioned in the book in regard to motherhood. But as a female-identifying person, I have an abundance of empathy for anyone who decides becoming a mother is a path they want to pursue.
This book offers a great argument: Is there such a thing as a good or a bad mother? And additionally, who decides that? We start off very strong with thoughts on mother characters in media, where the term "bad mother" comes from, and society's complicated relationship with MILFs, Stage Moms, and Trad Wives. Things started to feel repetitive as the book went on because each chapter follows the same structure. And once an argument was made for the kind of mom being discussed in one chapter, essentially the same argument is made for every kind of mom the book touches on. "Bad" is nuanced.
I still enjoyed it. The commentary on how being a mother is a thankless job that inherently opens someone up to criticism from every angle. We don't talk about this enough!!! We also don't talk enough about the societal, economic, and political effects on mothers, especially POC mothers.
I, personally, thought most of the author's footnotes were awesome. Some gave context, and others made me giggle. Although I agreed with most of what the author was arguing throughout, there were some parts that I raised an eyebrow at. Specifically, I find True Crime to be a very difficult subject societally and psychologically, and I think the conversation about it's causes and effects on people is a longer one than the book allowed.
A great book for discussion in my humble opinion.
(*book club)
I will start by saying: I'm not a mother. I couldn't directly relate to anything mentioned in the book in regard to motherhood. But as a female-identifying person, I have an abundance of empathy for anyone who decides becoming a mother is a path they want to pursue.
This book offers a great argument: Is there such a thing as a good or a bad mother? And additionally, who decides that? We start off very strong with thoughts on mother characters in media, where the term "bad mother" comes from, and society's complicated relationship with MILFs, Stage Moms, and Trad Wives. Things started to feel repetitive as the book went on because each chapter follows the same structure. And once an argument was made for the kind of mom being discussed in one chapter, essentially the same argument is made for every kind of mom the book touches on. "Bad" is nuanced.
I still enjoyed it. The commentary on how being a mother is a thankless job that inherently opens someone up to criticism from every angle. We don't talk about this enough!!! We also don't talk enough about the societal, economic, and political effects on mothers, especially POC mothers.
I, personally, thought most of the author's footnotes were awesome. Some gave context, and others made me giggle. Although I agreed with most of what the author was arguing throughout, there were some parts that I raised an eyebrow at. Specifically, I find True Crime to be a very difficult subject societally and psychologically, and I think the conversation about it's causes and effects on people is a longer one than the book allowed.
A great book for discussion in my humble opinion.
(*book club)
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
I am not a non-fiction reader by any means, and when I do read non-fiction, it is usually a memoir, but as a mother, I knew I had to read this. Do you stay at home with your kids, depriving them of structure and early socialization? You're a bad mother. How could you leave your precious darlings in the care of someone else to go to work, why did you even bother having kids? You're a bad mother. Etc. etc. etc. It is almost impossible to be deemed a good mother by society, but so, so easy to be a bad one.
The author explores the major "bad mom" archetypes we currently see in our culture, the "Stage Mom", the "MILF", the "Tiger Mom", the "Mommy Blogger", the "MAHA Moms", and even the ones that no one will argue against the nuance - the moms who actually harm their children. I appreciated the author's acknowledgement of her own implicit bias, as an upper middle class, liberal, white woman from New York with a snarky delivery, because, DUH HELLO 👋🏻, and the acknowledgement that "bad mothering" is usually just a self flagellation tool for us to wring our hands about how we will be perceived, but for Black and Brown women, often results in incarceration.
This was an informative mix of scholarly citations mixed with relatable personal anecdotes, though I do feel like if you fall into the demographics that are more prone to falling into some of the motherhood traps shown here (i.e. Mama Bears, MLM Hons), you might take offense.
If you're a mom, or have a mom, or think you are a bad mom (you're probably not), and want to reflect on this further, this was a quick listen at 2x speed, narrated by the author in a way that felt like I was listening to one of my contemporaries as a mother of similar background and age.
🤱🏻 Thank you Simon Audio for the ALC and Simon Element for the advanced copy
The author explores the major "bad mom" archetypes we currently see in our culture, the "Stage Mom", the "MILF", the "Tiger Mom", the "Mommy Blogger", the "MAHA Moms", and even the ones that no one will argue against the nuance - the moms who actually harm their children. I appreciated the author's acknowledgement of her own implicit bias, as an upper middle class, liberal, white woman from New York with a snarky delivery, because, DUH HELLO 👋🏻, and the acknowledgement that "bad mothering" is usually just a self flagellation tool for us to wring our hands about how we will be perceived, but for Black and Brown women, often results in incarceration.
This was an informative mix of scholarly citations mixed with relatable personal anecdotes, though I do feel like if you fall into the demographics that are more prone to falling into some of the motherhood traps shown here (i.e. Mama Bears, MLM Hons), you might take offense.
If you're a mom, or have a mom, or think you are a bad mom (you're probably not), and want to reflect on this further, this was a quick listen at 2x speed, narrated by the author in a way that felt like I was listening to one of my contemporaries as a mother of similar background and age.
🤱🏻 Thank you Simon Audio for the ALC and Simon Element for the advanced copy
April 26, 2026
I really like Ej Dickson’s writing in Rolling Stone, The Cut, etc. but unfortunately I was pretty disappointed by this book. Each individual chapter is alright but together they feel pretty unfocused. Some are more about pop culture whereas others focus on history or current affairs, and the disjointed topics don’t really tie together in the whole.
Some feel inappropriate to the larger theme; dispelling the myth of the “welfare queen” fits the thesis that the “bad mother” label is designed to bring women down, but you can’t really argue the same for women who have murdered their children. Absolutely you can discuss the lack of supports for women dealing with PPD or postpartum psychosis and how many some of these women wouldn’t have ended up as “bad mothers” if someone had recognized their suffering, but the topic doesn’t connect smoothly with the overall theme.
And while Ej Dickson’s glib humour in some of the other chapters made for fun reading, in this one in particular it felt inappropriate when she was discussing subjects like Casey Anthony. Gallows humor, maybe, but very out of place.
Not really related to the content but the book also had formatting issues on kindle that were frustrating. It made use of both footnotes and end notes, which was a bit annoying in itself (the end notes made sense for citations but the footnotes were mostly used for largely unnecessary asides). But more annoying was the fact that any time a footnote and an end note were right next to each other (e.g. iv2) clicking on them wouldn’t open the intended foot or endnote page.
Some feel inappropriate to the larger theme; dispelling the myth of the “welfare queen” fits the thesis that the “bad mother” label is designed to bring women down, but you can’t really argue the same for women who have murdered their children. Absolutely you can discuss the lack of supports for women dealing with PPD or postpartum psychosis and how many some of these women wouldn’t have ended up as “bad mothers” if someone had recognized their suffering, but the topic doesn’t connect smoothly with the overall theme.
And while Ej Dickson’s glib humour in some of the other chapters made for fun reading, in this one in particular it felt inappropriate when she was discussing subjects like Casey Anthony. Gallows humor, maybe, but very out of place.
Not really related to the content but the book also had formatting issues on kindle that were frustrating. It made use of both footnotes and end notes, which was a bit annoying in itself (the end notes made sense for citations but the footnotes were mostly used for largely unnecessary asides). But more annoying was the fact that any time a footnote and an end note were right next to each other (e.g. iv2) clicking on them wouldn’t open the intended foot or endnote page.
March 25, 2026
This read like a collection of essays. Most had something I could relate to, others at least made me chuckle. My main takeaway - We are ALL bad moms. We will never be able to live up to the expectations of society at large, (let alone our own judgements of ourselves!). We are all just doing our best.
p.s. Thank you Dickson for making it all the way through 'Married With Children' and admitting it does not hold up. I only got through 4 VERY uncomfortable seasons before admitting to myself that it might be time to let go of this cherished show from my childhood. Yikes. Not good. Not good at all.
p.s. Thank you Dickson for making it all the way through 'Married With Children' and admitting it does not hold up. I only got through 4 VERY uncomfortable seasons before admitting to myself that it might be time to let go of this cherished show from my childhood. Yikes. Not good. Not good at all.
March 21, 2026
In perfect honesty, I picked this book up cause I wanted to get the final bookmark I needed for goodreads won’t challenge. But this also the beauty of goodreads - cause I would have never picked this up and I’m so glad I did! I don’t have kids but I have always had a huge respect for women that do and I do hope to have them one day. But this was such a well-researched, sarcastic word vomiting that I couldn’t put it down. The author is very good at what she does and I’m walking away with 4 more books I want to read cause she references them and with wanting to call my mom and tell her I’m sorry I was a shit kid. A great non-fiction read!
March 16, 2026
I can’t decide how I felt about this book. The first few chapters were incredibly slow and had so many distracting footnotes that I couldn’t keep focused. The second half of the book was way more interesting and a solid deep dive into modern era “bad moms”. I enjoyed her views from all angles. Even though I did not agree with her defense of some of these moms, it was an interesting perspective to see why they may act how they do.
April 26, 2026
- This book was hard to put down, as I found it both smart and entertaining. I love reading about pop culture and picking it apart; it’s important to see what images in pop culture mean/imply. These elements of culture are often underestimated and therefore insidious— this was clear through this book
- I have never read a chapter about MILFs before!! Or really thought about them intellectually. This book accomplished that, displaying the stark contradictions that women are expected to somehow live up to all at once: being sexy and wanted whilst being a chaste and good mother
- I have never read a chapter about MILFs before!! Or really thought about them intellectually. This book accomplished that, displaying the stark contradictions that women are expected to somehow live up to all at once: being sexy and wanted whilst being a chaste and good mother
March 16, 2026
Like other negative reviews I’m just going to chalk this up to a big “not for me”. The only feeling I have towards the book is just indifference. I don’t feel like I learned much possibly because I knew of most of these topics before reading. The most interesting parts of this book were the discussions on how POC mothers are treated differently but take this with a huge asterisks. Reading from the perspective of POC mothers is a much better way of learning about this topic including fiction that comments on the issue. I listened to the audiobook and have to admit I zoned out multiple times which I feel is due to the fact that all the analysis was the same just with a different “bad mom” group.
The humor also just wasn’t for me. It was very pop culture reference based humor that often felt unnecessary.
The humor also just wasn’t for me. It was very pop culture reference based humor that often felt unnecessary.
March 31, 2026
2.5 stars. While I quite like Ej Dickson's works (I follow her reporting and commentary on sex work quite closely), I feel her voice is much better suited to short form writing. Not a bad book by any means, just meanders a bit to fit a page count.
October 13, 2025
My review is stuck in Edelweiss loading. Which is also where I got the ARC for this. Thank you, Edelweiss. More to the review when I can get it.
March 18, 2026
It's an interesting topic, though in the end it simply didn't interest me as much as I thought it would. That said, the chapter on Mommie Dearest (a truly twisted viewing experience) was worth the entire book.
March 23, 2026
Definitely preferred the second half but it was interesting!
March 25, 2026
Was interested in the subject matter but book fell flat for me. Information felt surface level and a lil bitchy (sometimes it was funny, mostly it was not).
March 30, 2026
I wasn't bored, but I also don't feel like the analyses had much depth and some of the sections were meandering in a way that lost the point.
April 15, 2026
As someone who’s constantly surrounded by mothers—and the societal pressure of becoming one—this book really made me reflect on what a “good” vs. “bad” mother even means… and who gets to decide that.
I’m not sure there was a super clear “point,” but I genuinely enjoyed my time with it.
I’m not sure there was a super clear “point,” but I genuinely enjoyed my time with it.
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