1,5/5, if I'm being generous (I did finish it and survived, right?). Generally, just - no, thank you.
The half a star is because I liked the idea of the countdown near the end (idea, not execution).
I’ve never read something so clearly written by a man (derogative). I honestly kind of thought that it can't be that different and maybe it would be nice to see erotica/romance written from a guy's perspective, but oh my god, no. This was so bad.
I don't want to be rude and not explain, though, so I have a list of complaints.
First of all, they have no personality whatsoever and even if they did, we don’t get to learn it, because they never actually talk. The minimal amount of dialogue that's in this is mostly just during smashing. I guess they have amazing banter and talks about crypto, but it's off-page, so you have to imagine it yourself, because the author simply couldn't be bothered to make anyone care about anything.
Secondly, it spans over many months, but they always go to a hotel, which is so impersonal and never explained. Do they not have their own places? Are they homeless? Do they live with their parents or have a secret family? What's going on there? They clearly care about each other, so just... why? I'd like to have more information about pretty much anything.
Next, I can’t stand the constant praise of the MMC’s pretty much everything by the FMC, how much she admires him and doesn’t think about anything else other than lusting after him. He's infallible, perfect, amazing, just the best specimen there ever was to exist and she's completely ruined for anyone else. She is truly an empty vessel for him to fill, and it reads like a self-insert fic of someone who's so full of himself it's coming out of his every orifice. Some of the things she writes are so absurd no self-respecting woman would ever. But I guess someone needed an ego boost or whatever.
It’s repetitive to the extreme and the writing did nothing for me, I was just bored. You don't read erotica for the plot, sure (there is none, just FYI), but it does have a purpose. This one doesn't even check that box. It promises a lot of variation and kinks, but everything goes in circles, blends together and is written in a way that's boring. My mind kept wandering to other stuff, because I didn't want to read the same thing over and over again. At one point, I started guessing what they would do in the next line and being right.
Am I done? No, but almost. The hypocrisy and the shallowness of the MMC was an ick. The beginning is just him whining about women not having profile pictures, because he's afraid they're ugly, while he himself doesn't have a profile picture. What's that about? And I've never seen a woman's dating profile that didn't have both a picture and a description, so that's just unrealistic to me, but that's besides the point.
Also, ask first if you’re going to stick something up a person’s behind. I know this is fiction but basic human decency would be nice.
I have more, but I don't want to hate on every single detail. It took enough of my mental space as is, I'd like to move on.
To conclude, I didn't like anyone in this novella, the (lack of) a plot, the spice, the ending, the writing style, and the whole experience.