Start With Yourself: A New Vision for Work & Life

by Emma Grede

Start with Yourself is a game-changing, no-BS guide for anyone seeking meaningful success on their own terms. It’s an essential framework that will give you the tools and mindset to unlock your full potential in life and business—straight from a woman who defied all the odds to become a serial entrepreneur, a cofounder of culture-defining global businesses, a nonprofit champion, and the host of the Aspire with Emma Grede podcast. All while raising a family of four children.

Based on the factors of her early life—she’s the child of a working-class single mother and grew up in a rough neighborhood in East London and dropped out of high school—you’d never guess that Emma Grede would go on to become one of America’s richest self-made women.

This makes Grede unique, but she’s convinced you can do it, Start with Yourself is a blueprint to her mindset and how she thinks about business and life, structured in easy takeaways, so you can immediately apply her philosophy to what you’re trying to build and create.

Among her most blazing insights, Grede identifies what she calls “Old Thoughts”: stale thinking, outdated ideas; set-in-stone rules ingrained into the culture about work-life balance, the crassness of money, and the unseemliness of ambition—that aren’t actually rules at all. They’re biases, Grede insists, system errors, and we must strike them from our minds so that we can gain a greater sense of control, even mastery, over our day-to-day and long-range goals.

Ultimately, this is a book for everyone tired of feeling like a bystander or passenger in their own life. Grede offers tangible and applicable-right-now solutions to create a mindset, an overall system of thought to manage emotions, clarify ideas, and illuminate the right next step—while always staying positive.

It’s about gathering yourself after failure. It’s about being accountable but also forgiving yourself. It’s about not expecting shortcuts while never being bashful about grabbing them when they appear. It’s about pushing hard for wins and never apologizing for your dreams.

Above all, Grede offers a new vision for work and life that encourages readers everywhere to take responsibility for their own thinking in order to achieve personal and professional success at the highest levels.

Genres: Business, Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Leadership, Personal Development

320 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 14, 2026

Reviews

[Imane Nadif · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wonder if people would have the same critique on her book if she were a man. She told no lies.

[Brandi Griffin · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a world that emphasizes not giving a f*, prioritizing leisure over work but the entitlement that people should still be paid a golden egg, and a culture that makes you think you can have it all, this book revitalized and inspired me to start caring again. It was a nice reminder (without being too harsh) that anything worth having is worth working for and that nothing is handed to anyone. I gave it 4 stars because some of the points were not unique and it reminded me a lot of Sharmadean Reid’s New Methods for Women, but I loved how real and raw this read was.

[hannah kushner]

Emma stands firmly in so many truths that ambitious women are shamed for entertaining. I’ve always been a big fan but this book left me feeling like a student of hers as well. Highly highly recommend !

[Ciara Epperson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn’t relate much to the negative emotions the author (Emma) has had to deal with in life, and I did not always relate to her strong personality. Emma clearly has some deep emotional struggles that she has dealt with in her life. She is naturally a very disagreeable person and gets defensive when people say things that touch on the insecurities that she has, namely, when anyone hints that she is not good enough as a highly successful businesswoman (which, btw, she absolutely is).

A moment of hers that surprised me was when she got enraged at a woman who simply asked her if she could make a networking introduction, because the woman didn’t offer her anything in return. If she wanted something in return, then she could have just asked, but instead she reprimanded the woman. It was confusing because it seems misaligned with her also saying that she wants to help women take up so much more space as entrepreneurs. That’s not a heartfelt statement if the help is conditional.

I also found it incredibly sad that she said that you can really only be happy 1/3 of the time. Happiness can definitely be your default if you are focused on the correct thing (God, for example) and if you take control of your thoughts and decide to be completely content with where you are currently in your life. It takes commitment, but it’s doable.

She talks a lot about her personal journey, but the book is also half business advice, and there are some really great insights given. (I think the brand/business chapter is the most valuable chapter.)

I like how she pointed out that you can’t “have it all” as a woman. If you are simultaneously trying to run a highly successful business, take care of your family, take care of yourself as well, have other people in your life, etc., then something will always have to get less of your attention. You can’t possibly focus on every single thing 100% of the time, nor should you exhaust yourself trying to.

I loved her emphasis on negotiating for yourself and I appreciate her natural skill in working out deals with others. This is her biggest strength as an entrepreneur and I think she would be definitely someone to continue to gain insight from in this area.

I agree with her that you should always ask as many question as possible. She emphasizes that you can learn valuable information from anyone, in person or online, if you’re actively looking to do so. This is great advice. Having a growth mindset is essential and it was pleasing to see that she is a proponent of it.

Favorite quotes and my notes:
“The most exceptional leaders…are not those who make the “best” decisions, but those who make the “most” decisions.”
(More iteration leads to better and quicker insight. This is crucial for good-decision making.)

“This is common: to underestimate what we’re good at in lieu of going for something that feels “harder”, and therefore more real…[However], something doesn’t need to be complex to be worthwhile.”
“…Business is hard, so relentlessly look for opportunities to make the journey as easy as possible for yourself. Embrace simplicity, cherish your heroes, and look for shortcuts and acceleration points wherever you can find them.”
(Leverage what you’re good at, even if it is surprisingly simple)

“I always take aim at any business that feels like competition. I will learn everything about those companies,”
“I don’t do this to replicate their business or merch plan. I do this because comparing my company to other companies helps me to define and differentiate what we do.”
(Be obsessive about what your biggest competitors are doing at all times so that you can continually outsmart them.)

I am actually quite divided on this book. I almost wish that it leaned either entirely memoir or entirely a business book because the half-and-half thing didn’t always mesh well.

[Lily SS · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to say, Emma Grede is a total force and this book delivered. I'm not usually one for self-help books, but she has something real to say, especially about women and money. She talks about how women can leverage their careers, become more powerful, and actually have a vision and plan for their dreams, not just vague "manifesting" but concrete strategy. She does this while weaving in her own story of growing up poor in East London and building multiple businesses from scratch. Her perspective on negotiation, asking for what you're worth, and thinking like a founder even as an employee stuck with me. obsessed.

[Amber Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you want a no-nonsense book on how to make it as a female founder or woman in business, this book is for you. If you’re not afraid of honesty and hard work, this book is for you. If you want the cold hard truth that success like Emma’s requires tradeoffs, sacrifice & real grit, this book is for you. If you want fluff, a get-rich-quick secret, or a guide on how to make everyone else happy while you build your brand — don’t bother.

[Alexandra Gation · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW! I loved this book and it left me feeling very inspired and motivated. I’ve been a fan of Emma since her podcast came out last year. I love that this book is not just targeting entrepreneurs but lays a foundation for ambitious women who want to be successful. Really appreciate her no BS approach. She’s not selling a vision that is unattainable but instead laying a foundation for success and what it truly takes to get there, without sugarcoating it. Start with yourself ladies and read this book!

[Mikaila Roncevich · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this so much and I will probably read it for a second time soon. So many chapters made me feel both inspired and motivated to work harder in my own field. The criticism of Emma and this book have been disturbing yet not surprising. If you are extremely anti-capitalist, anti-natalist, or anti-working-woman, don’t read it. I for one love to watch women create wealth, let alone a black woman who rose up against all the odds stacked against her. Her responses to the widespread criticism of this book actually inspire me too. Highly recommend!

[Ann Ayo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think Emma gets a lot of hate for no reason. At the end of the day, she’s giving advice based on what has worked for her in her situation. I found this book super motivating. Defo didn’t agree with everything she said but took what I needed. The main thing this book taught me was how much the connections you make can impact your life trajectory.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think it’s a great book despite some negativity that surrounds it.
I wish I read it 20 years earlier and learned from it, rather than from my mistakes, bruises and pain.
While not everything is applicable to me, Emma reminded me about the power I hold for my life and my future. We truly tend to give it away to bosses, partners, children etc. I highly recommend listening or reading it to all people who feel a bit lost or at the start of something new. Get inspired by starting with yourself!:)

[Tasneem Jacobs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic insights and hard facts about what it takes to build a blazing career. I don’t share 100% of all of her views but I appreciate her perspective always and, she told no lies.

[Assia Mahmood · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would give this book 10 out of 5 stars if I could! I’ve been a big fan of Emma for a while, and this book was beyond my expectations! Highly recommend for any ambitious woman, regardless of your career path! I listened on Audio because I adore the way she speaks. I’m obsessed with this book and will read it again.

[Amanda Athanasiou · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are some good points and nuggets of advice in here and clearly the author is successful in work and life so props where props are due. But I did not enjoy this book or find enough new or inspirational in it to recommend it and at times I found it pretty grating. It reads like a remake of Sheryl Sandburg's Lean In. Grede uses that term quite a bit, along with "get really clear." She is the type of person who has no patience for the phrase work-life-balance, who outsources a lot and unapologetically has no idea what's going on at her kids' school, and who thrives on obsession with her work. I'm not criticizing this - it works for her, there are many paths to success. I know what it's like to be obsessed with one's work and in a capitalist society, I actually wish I could dial that up that more in my life. We love what we love. But I don't think it's the great example for the masses of ambitious women out there that she thinks it is. Grede is pretty unique. There are not many people who drop out of school and through sheer drive, personality, and judgment make it to the tippy top. Hard work too obviously but we're all working with the same 24 hours. Most of us, even the very ambitious ones, are not on this track. Add to that that fashion is a pretty unique industry. With some added humility, this could have been a memoir (it is very memoiry) but she also holds it out as advice and I have to think the population it will actually benefit or even apply to is such a tiny sliver of the book's audience. I didn't love the self-serving contradictions - one minute she's the kind of person who doesn't hold grudges and let's things roll off her back and the next she's advising about burning bridges and cutting people out of your life and being aggressive with people who make minor misstatements. One minute she's advising us to skip the details and the next she's obsessed with them. Just depends on the point she's trying to make or the person she's casting herself to be in that paragraph. What I really take issue with though is these celebrity executives with full support staffs going on about how terrible remote work is because the real magic happens face-to-face (see also Martha Stewart, most tech bros). Grede says she loses sleep about how the growth of remote work has set women back, because now they are juggling more and expected to and they're not in the room. Remote work is not to blame for the amount women are juggling and the frequency with which we are not in the room or overlooked for promotions and raises. We know this empirically. Granted we are still missing out on things in the era of remote work but it also opens up whole worlds of possibilities because of the time it gives back. I take the author's points but it's a one-sided analysis. Being around the water cooler is overrated. Remote work has been life changing, in a good way, for many women. I think it's irresponsible for her to use her platform to rage against it without acknowledging that there are any benefits, much less exploring them. One-sidedness is a problem with a lot of analyses of remote work. They proceed along the lines of: Are there advantages to in-person work? Yes. End of discussion, everyone back to the office. There is not a corresponding evaluation of the benefits of remote options on morale, productivity, talent acquisition and retention, etc. from the business side and opportunities for growth and quality of life on the employee side. Remote work, like AI, and many other innovations, is not going anywhere. Some advice about how to navigate it would have been welcome. I lose sleep about how many managers are reading these hot takes on remote work and arbitrarily calling everyone back into an office building in a city they have a long commute to because housing prices, with the only change for many women being that they now have less time to work, less time with their kids during their brief childhoods, less time for other activities they enjoy, and more stress about how they're going to fit dinner in.

[Sarah Lopez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like the title says it, only when you cultivate self love you can give anything to others. I think a memoir in my opinion would have been a more interesting book because except for the entrepreneurial chapter, the rest is just full of her opinions and what she thinks she knows right (or better than others). She did mention she is in a privilege position having 2 nannies all the time around and that her kids went to childcare so she is very open about this.

I would have liked to know more about whether working hard is where it brought her where she is. I believe her husband had an influence in that. (Nothing wrong with that but she didn’t mention it)

I also think working hard in these days is not always what it makes you successful in your career, specially in a corporate world. How many women are fired from their jobs despite they have worked hard? If working hard would the rule, a lot of women would be in top positions.

She speaks about flexibility but she also mentioned she had to say no to a woman who asked to work until 14:00 because she wanted to pick up her baby. Emma mentioned she said no because the woman, according to Emma, was doing it more from the guilty point of view rather than because she really wanted to be with the baby. How did she know that? Was the woman opened about it and then basically Emma took this to play it against? This makes me think, her company is another narrow minded one where only if you do what she expects you to do then you’re in. I mean, couldn’t have been a different solution to this situation ? She is entrepreneurial but not in favour of what others decide that differs from how Emma thinks. The same boring and old fashion system.

[Valentina Gaylord · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are books that teach entrepreneurship, and there are books that speak to entrepreneurs. Emma Grede has written the latter, and the difference is everything.

My belief has always been that true entrepreneurs are not made. They are born. The drive, the vision, the willingness to bet everything on something most people cannot yet see, these are not skills that can be taught in a classroom or learned from a formula. Emma understands this better than anyone I have encountered, and Start With Yourself is the rare book that honors that truth without apology.

What makes this book extraordinary is not just what it says, it is the depth at which it was written. Emma does not write for the surface. She writes for the marrow. For those who are already in the arena, this book will feel like finally being truly seen. An exhale. For those who are not yet there, read it anyway, and read it carefully. If it does not resonate today, hold onto it. Because if you have the courage to grow into the life it describes, it will become one of the most important books you have ever read.

This is not a book for everyone. And that is precisely what makes it essential for those it was written for.

Start With Yourself is a must-read, not because it tells you what to do, but because it reminds you of who you already are.

[Aiayumi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audiobook.

--

Creating your own morning routine:
Set yourself up in a very specific way.
Morning ritual anchor your entire day.

Vision>

Try hard. Relentless. Excel ruthlessly.
Email all agencies, go in-person if no one responds. Be the top employee.

Write vision statements.
For yourself, when your 30s, 40s, 50s....
Assess your year on birthday, plan your next year. Must realize goals by your next birthday.

Why couldn't you achieve some of your goals last year? Reasons?
3 things you wish you did more last year?
What are you avoiding, scared of doing?
How do you planning to learn & grow next year?
Habits & boundaries?

Managing Emotions>

The key to "realizing" your vision. How to respond to your environment.

Listen to your body-based "No".

Anger. Culture of blame.
Jealousy, anger, victimizing, vindictive... unhelpful. Take responsibility for yourself.
"I don't have time to waste on this shit."

Fear. "Challenge stress" is good stress. Embrace it.

Stop "looking for bosses" to subordinate yourself to.

Use your emotions as a barometer (guilt, fatigue, sadness, etc). To assess your life. But aligned with your own goals, not societal expectations.

Don't kill yourself during the week. With kids, weekends are no longer for recharging. Pace yourself everyday, give yourself a break and focus time everyday.

Joy. "No one can make me happier than I make myself. My happiness is on me."

[N · Rating 4 out of 5]

unironically the first self help book I’ve read that I’ve actually….enjoyed? (I was reading it in Emma’s wonderful Plaistowan accent all the way through, so I think that sold it completely tbh) a lot of girl-bossism, but I actually think we could do with smidgeons of this at This Current Point in Time! Who knew business could be so interesting? I feel impassioned and motivated and driven! I TOO, might dabble in a start up or two! Let’s bring back ambition, ladies. Grit. Temerity. Achievements! Goals! Let’s get more bolder! Audacious! Aggressive, even… I’m very hyped. I need my own Swede indeed… only snag is that the ending was so abrupt? We had sub sections of chapters and chapters within chapters, and then for the Action chapter, we get basically nowt? But perhaps…that was intentional… very much here are the tools, now get your arse up and work perhaps(?) I’m listening and learning…

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author is a British entrepreneur and businessperson who has been successful in the fashion and business industries. I chose this book because I heard Emma on a podcast. I enjoyed learning about her backstory and her unapologetic rise as an entrepreneur and founder. She has a great point of view that you own and are responsible for your success. I especially enjoyed the section focusing on old thoughts and new thoughts. Emma shares a lot of personal anecdotes, and the advice is practical and applies to a wide range of professions. I almost didn’t select this book because of her many connections to the Kardashians (which I actively avoid), but luckily their mention is only in passing. Emma’s work speaks for itself.

Thanks to NetGalley and the author for the ARC.

[Andrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really enjoyed *Start With Yourself* by Emma Grede. Her perspective is sharp, practical, and genuinely motivating—especially if you’re building something or trying to level up your mindset. She has a very clear voice, and that comes through strongly in the book.

That said, if you already listen to her podcast or follow her closely, this might feel a bit familiar. A lot of the ideas are consistent with what she already shares publicly. Which is great—because her message is solid—but I did find myself wishing for more new insights or deeper dives that go beyond her usual talking points.

Still, it’s a strong, well-written book and definitely worth reading, especially if you’re new to her work or want her mindset distilled in one place.

[Aaliah Patel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Idc how controversial people find Emma Grede but I love her, I will listen to anything she says and she doesn’t lie. To be honest I think people don’t like her because she did what men do and has a business mentality like men but because she’s a women it’s not seen as proper. I think she has it all down: BE CURIOUS, ASK QUESTIONS, ALWAYS LEARN, BE MOTIVATED AND DISCIPLINED, PLAN PLAN PLAN YOUR GOALS, SHOW YOUR VALUE, MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS, YOU ARE NEVER THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE ROOM (and tbh you should never want to be either), TAKE HOLD OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY, NO ONE IS WATCHING YOU. Honestly she tells no lies and I find her so inspirational and I see a lot of myself in the stories and statements she writes in this book. 💯 book

[Sophie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first half was helpful in challenging my thoughts around mom guilt and perfectionism. I definitely wrote a lot in the margins and took away things that have changed my perspective.

The second half is heavy on business that may not be super relevant to most - and also read to me a bit like "my way is the best way", and included a lot of old school thinking.

Imo all personal development books need to be taken with a grain of salt. Financial success isn't the only indicator of a truly fulfilling life. But if that's the piece you're looking for specifically then I think this is a great book to pick up.

[Brieanna Setterholm · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emma Grede is someone who I look to for inspiration and her book delivered. Much of her experience I can see reflected in my own. I like how she doesn’t call herself “self made” and attributes her success both to her hard work and to those who have bolstered her up along the way. I resonate with her advice to women, it feels real and honest rather than the monetization of how to girl boss your way to top.

[Sheila Ajjie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was exactly what I needed to read at this point in my life. I have learnt a lot about navigating life and business as a woman, including when it’s important to be selfish, how to negotiate, how to manage my emotions, how to stop prioritizing passion over profit, and how to look at any limitations I perceive myself to have as superpowers. I am forever changed after reading this. Thank you, Emma.

[Erin Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid read. I think reading this coupled with her press tour about the book with the countless interviews made this book more interesting to me. I think some of the things that she has said in interviews recently that people didn’t enjoy are fleshed out some. I suggest people read this book, vs. taking the clickbait titles as true representations of what she is saying.

[Anna R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal book for a modern, ambitious woman. Emma is direct, honest and unapologetic. Inspiring. The book is very well written and entertaining while offering plenty of food for thought. I loved all the little personal stories and anecdotes Emma shares in the book. The best book I’ve read in a long time!

[Emma Burns · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really, really loved Grede’s perspective here. She is engaging, honest, and relatable. She admits her access to resources colors some of her advice she gives, but I’d say this is a worthwhile read for anyone who needs to be released from the burden of trying to do it all. We can’t do it all!

[Natalie Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Swallowed this book. Have taken loads from it for both parenting and career, basically just being a woman in a modern world wanting the best for myself.
Thank you for writing this, I will be referring to this book regularly!

[Sheena Kerr · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading Emma’s story and her push for radical transparency both in our personal and professional lives. Some really great lessons for women aspiring to be leaders.

[Moksha Sharma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book, loved her advice. Not the best writing, but that’s a ok. She knows her audience (high achieving women) and she writes to them w no apologies

[Ruthie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emma Grede lends us her brain for the span of a book, and it is fascinating. So many mindset takeaways.