What do you think?
Rate this book
It's Not All About Me, Revised and Updated Edition: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone
A field-tested set of principles and practices for connecting with others on a deeper level and fostering more meaningful relationships
Studies repeatedly show that the happiest individuals are those who have strong interpersonal relationships and feel valued by others.
As an FBI special agent for whom human sources were critical and relationships essential, Robin Dreeke has created and refined a method for connecting with anyone. Discover his ten simple steps for establishing connections more quickly and with ease while also making lasting impressions by making it all about
Establishing time constraints for interactions Accommodating nonverbals Altering your rate of speaking Eliciting sympathy or assistance Suspending your ego Validating others Asking the right questions Connecting with a quid pro quo Giving gifts Managing expectations Blending timeless wisdom with contemporary insights, this refreshed edition maintains the essence and core principles of the original bestselling book while incorporating updated anecdotes, refreshed terminology, and enhanced practice exercises.
Whether you’re striving for personal growth, career advancement, or enriching all your relationships, It’s Not All About Me is your handbook to mastering the art of conversation, empathy, and rapport-building.
Studies repeatedly show that the happiest individuals are those who have strong interpersonal relationships and feel valued by others.
As an FBI special agent for whom human sources were critical and relationships essential, Robin Dreeke has created and refined a method for connecting with anyone. Discover his ten simple steps for establishing connections more quickly and with ease while also making lasting impressions by making it all about
Establishing time constraints for interactions Accommodating nonverbals Altering your rate of speaking Eliciting sympathy or assistance Suspending your ego Validating others Asking the right questions Connecting with a quid pro quo Giving gifts Managing expectations Blending timeless wisdom with contemporary insights, this refreshed edition maintains the essence and core principles of the original bestselling book while incorporating updated anecdotes, refreshed terminology, and enhanced practice exercises.
Whether you’re striving for personal growth, career advancement, or enriching all your relationships, It’s Not All About Me is your handbook to mastering the art of conversation, empathy, and rapport-building.
- GenresNonfiction
208 pages, Paperback
Published March 17, 2026
About the author
Robin Dreeke
9 books57 followersFROM RECRUITING SPIES FOR THE FBI TO RECRUITING ALLIES IN BUSINESS:
Robin Dreeke is an accomplished Executive Coach, Best-Selling Author, and Professional Speaker with an impressive background. As a Marine Corps Officer and retired FBI Special Agent, he served as Chief of the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program where he honed his skills in Recruiting Spies and Behavioral Assessment. Today, Robin has translated his expertise into his unique Interpersonal Communication Strategies that focus on Recruiting Allies in business. Since 2010, he has been working with Executives, Corporations, Entrepreneurs, Military, and Law Enforcement to help them Forge Trust, Solve Challenges, and Lead. Robin's People Formula has helped countless individuals and teams achieve quick, measurable results and maximum success. Whether you're a newly promoted leader, executive, sales team member, or customer relations specialist, Robin's proven strategies will help you excel.
Robin Dreeke is an accomplished Executive Coach, Best-Selling Author, and Professional Speaker with an impressive background. As a Marine Corps Officer and retired FBI Special Agent, he served as Chief of the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program where he honed his skills in Recruiting Spies and Behavioral Assessment. Today, Robin has translated his expertise into his unique Interpersonal Communication Strategies that focus on Recruiting Allies in business. Since 2010, he has been working with Executives, Corporations, Entrepreneurs, Military, and Law Enforcement to help them Forge Trust, Solve Challenges, and Lead. Robin's People Formula has helped countless individuals and teams achieve quick, measurable results and maximum success. Whether you're a newly promoted leader, executive, sales team member, or customer relations specialist, Robin's proven strategies will help you excel.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
June 19, 2026
Thank you Netgalley and Brilliance Publishing/ Brilliance Audio for an ALC of It's Not All About Me, Revised & Updated..The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone, by Robin Dreeke.
A crash course in how to be a decent human being..This should be a mandatory read across the board, from the school system to the current Oval Office 🫠.
Some might find this to be full of the "obvious" and to that I say congratulations on being "perfect".. I'm sorry, but especially with technology everywhere. I hate to sound like THAT dinosaur, but technology really did put a mega dent in humanities communication skills as a whole. So, to me at least, it makes sense to start back at square 1 to relearn.
This is one of those reads where everyone is going to benefit differently but everyone will benefit somehow
I rarely talk about this much, but I struggle with MASSIVE anxiety (hence trying to build the anonymous profile). Think, shelter dog level anxiety, and I found things in here to be really helpful! Also as a lifetime ADHD subscriber I found this helpful. This book definitely has a wide value spectrum and is worth checking out if bettering yourself is something that you're into
Until next time,
Hades
🩵
A crash course in how to be a decent human being..This should be a mandatory read across the board, from the school system to the current Oval Office 🫠.
Some might find this to be full of the "obvious" and to that I say congratulations on being "perfect".. I'm sorry, but especially with technology everywhere. I hate to sound like THAT dinosaur, but technology really did put a mega dent in humanities communication skills as a whole. So, to me at least, it makes sense to start back at square 1 to relearn.
This is one of those reads where everyone is going to benefit differently but everyone will benefit somehow
I rarely talk about this much, but I struggle with MASSIVE anxiety (hence trying to build the anonymous profile). Think, shelter dog level anxiety, and I found things in here to be really helpful! Also as a lifetime ADHD subscriber I found this helpful. This book definitely has a wide value spectrum and is worth checking out if bettering yourself is something that you're into
Until next time,
Hades
🩵
March 22, 2026
I received an advanced copy of this audiobook from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
⭐️⭐️⭐️
This audiobook focuses on improving communication by becoming more aware of the other person and how we show up in conversations. None of the techniques felt completely new, but that didn’t take away from the value of the book. What I appreciated most was how it brought simple behaviors to my attention and explained why they matter.
One idea that stood out to me was making the other person aware of the time frame of a conversation. As someone who can feel anxious when interactions feel open ended, this felt like a very practical and helpful technique.
As an introvert who enjoys interacting with people but sometimes feels stiff, I found this audiobook useful because it gave me small, clear techniques that I can consciously apply. It also reinforced the idea that communication skills are not just natural talents but something that can be learned and improved.
Overall, this is a practical and accessible audiobook that helps bring awareness to everyday interactions. Nothing revolutionary, but definitely useful, especially for anyone looking to feel more confident and intentional when interacting and building relationships with others.
⭐️⭐️⭐️
This audiobook focuses on improving communication by becoming more aware of the other person and how we show up in conversations. None of the techniques felt completely new, but that didn’t take away from the value of the book. What I appreciated most was how it brought simple behaviors to my attention and explained why they matter.
One idea that stood out to me was making the other person aware of the time frame of a conversation. As someone who can feel anxious when interactions feel open ended, this felt like a very practical and helpful technique.
As an introvert who enjoys interacting with people but sometimes feels stiff, I found this audiobook useful because it gave me small, clear techniques that I can consciously apply. It also reinforced the idea that communication skills are not just natural talents but something that can be learned and improved.
Overall, this is a practical and accessible audiobook that helps bring awareness to everyday interactions. Nothing revolutionary, but definitely useful, especially for anyone looking to feel more confident and intentional when interacting and building relationships with others.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
It's Not All About Me by Robin Dreeke is one of those books that quietly changes the way you think about everyday conversations. Dreeke, a former FBI counterintelligence specialist, lays out a simple but surprisingly powerful idea. If you want to connect with people, stop trying to impress them and start focusing on them. The book breaks this down into ten practical behaviors that make it easier to build trust quickly. Things like setting a quick time boundary for a conversation, adjusting how you speak, validating the other person, and asking better questions. None of it feels gimmicky. In fact, the strength of the book is how straightforward it is. Short chapters, clear examples, and just enough real-world context to show how these ideas actually work.
Dreeke’s argues that rapport isn’t some mysterious spark between people. It’s a predictable psychological state that can be created with the right behaviors. In other words, connection is less about charisma and more about curiosity. That’s a refreshing perspective. The biggest takeaway for me was his emphasis on suspending your ego. Most conversations turn into subtle competitions for airtime. Dreeke flips that idea completely. The most influential person in the room might actually be the one doing the least talking. If you make someone feel heard, they will often give you more information than you ever expected. Or put another way: the fastest way to become interesting is to be genuinely interested.
Dreeke narrates the audiobook himself, and I appreciated that. Hearing the author explain these principles in his own voice gives the material a sense of authenticity. It feels less like a business book and more like sitting through a candid briefing from someone who has used these techniques in real situations where trust mattered. His delivery is steady and conversational, and the stories land naturally without sounding overly rehearsed.
The author never drifts into fluff or motivational filler. It is short, focused, and practical. The ideas work just as well in everyday life as they do in professional settings. Whether you’re networking, advocating for a cause, or just trying to become a better listener, the lessons here are surprisingly useful. A simple thought kept running through my mind while listening: if more people followed even half of this advice, most meetings would be shorter and most conversations would be better. And honestly, that alone might make this book worth the time.
Dreeke’s argues that rapport isn’t some mysterious spark between people. It’s a predictable psychological state that can be created with the right behaviors. In other words, connection is less about charisma and more about curiosity. That’s a refreshing perspective. The biggest takeaway for me was his emphasis on suspending your ego. Most conversations turn into subtle competitions for airtime. Dreeke flips that idea completely. The most influential person in the room might actually be the one doing the least talking. If you make someone feel heard, they will often give you more information than you ever expected. Or put another way: the fastest way to become interesting is to be genuinely interested.
Dreeke narrates the audiobook himself, and I appreciated that. Hearing the author explain these principles in his own voice gives the material a sense of authenticity. It feels less like a business book and more like sitting through a candid briefing from someone who has used these techniques in real situations where trust mattered. His delivery is steady and conversational, and the stories land naturally without sounding overly rehearsed.
The author never drifts into fluff or motivational filler. It is short, focused, and practical. The ideas work just as well in everyday life as they do in professional settings. Whether you’re networking, advocating for a cause, or just trying to become a better listener, the lessons here are surprisingly useful. A simple thought kept running through my mind while listening: if more people followed even half of this advice, most meetings would be shorter and most conversations would be better. And honestly, that alone might make this book worth the time.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
5/5 stars. it’s not all about me is a short guide to building quick rapport with others, offering practical techniques for connecting with people in everyday conversations, networking situations, and professional settings. this is the updated edition, which includes anecdotes more relevant to modern times—think starting a meaningful conversation with someone who seems absorbed in their phone.
what i appreciated most was how concise and focused it was. the book clearly knows what it wants to say and delivers it without unnecessary padding. each concept is explained in straightforward language, with practical examples that make the techniques easy to understand and apply. it’s also the perfect length for this kind of topic. rather than stretching the ideas into a longer book, the author keeps things tight and readable, which made it genuinely enjoyable to get through.
clear, practical, and refreshingly efficient—i really enjoyed this one, and would recommend to anyone looking to brush up on effective communication strategies.
i received an arc of the audiobook edition in exchange for an honest review.
what i appreciated most was how concise and focused it was. the book clearly knows what it wants to say and delivers it without unnecessary padding. each concept is explained in straightforward language, with practical examples that make the techniques easy to understand and apply. it’s also the perfect length for this kind of topic. rather than stretching the ideas into a longer book, the author keeps things tight and readable, which made it genuinely enjoyable to get through.
clear, practical, and refreshingly efficient—i really enjoyed this one, and would recommend to anyone looking to brush up on effective communication strategies.
i received an arc of the audiobook edition in exchange for an honest review.
March 17, 2026
So, here's the thing... I don't know if I want to strike up a conversation with just anyone, but I'd like to know I could if I needed to.
This book provides some super practical advice on how to focus conversations on another person in a way that makes them want to talk to you and open up when doing it. And Dreeke's experience in the FBI gives it all a ton of credibility.
It would be a great read for anyone who does interviewing or even sales for a living.
The tip I probably found most useful was to slow down. I often speak fast because I think it conveys excitement about my topic. But maybe I'm really sending a message that I'm scattered and want to do all the speaking instead of letting someone else join in the conversation. Ironically, the more excited I am about a topic (and probably the better I know it), the faster I speak. I may be communicating exactly the opposite of what I'm intending.
Overall, this book is worth the time because everyone I know (myself included) could be a better communicator.
This book provides some super practical advice on how to focus conversations on another person in a way that makes them want to talk to you and open up when doing it. And Dreeke's experience in the FBI gives it all a ton of credibility.
It would be a great read for anyone who does interviewing or even sales for a living.
The tip I probably found most useful was to slow down. I often speak fast because I think it conveys excitement about my topic. But maybe I'm really sending a message that I'm scattered and want to do all the speaking instead of letting someone else join in the conversation. Ironically, the more excited I am about a topic (and probably the better I know it), the faster I speak. I may be communicating exactly the opposite of what I'm intending.
Overall, this book is worth the time because everyone I know (myself included) could be a better communicator.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Robin Dreeke delivers exactly what he promises: a practical, accessible framework for building deeper connections. Drawing on his experience as an FBI special agent—where relationships were mission-critical—Dreeke distills the art of rapport-building, clearly defining steps that I’ve unwittingly muddled my way through.
What sets this book apart is the real-life examples, easily accessible for those of us outside of law enforcement. Dreeke doesn't tell you to validate others or suspend your own ego—he shows you what it looks like through vivid, concrete scenarios. This makes the principles easy to visualize and imagine applying in your own everyday interactions. Whether it's establishing time constraints to put someone at ease while mentally fixing the end of a meal as your last bite of salad or by learning to ask the right questions, the advice never feels abstract.
The book is also an easy, engaging listen. Dreeke's background lends natural credibility without the advice ever feeling manipulative. The tone strikes a comfortable balance between professional insight and genuine warmth—fitting for a book about making it all about the other person.
My one caveat: these principles only work if you do. Unless you deliberately practice these skills in the real world, the insights won't stick and the power of this book will be lost to the company of dust motes on your bookshelf. But if you commit to putting this advice into action, I believe step-by-step you'll reap meaningful change, one conversation at a time.
ALC provided by Netgalley. Courtesy of Brilliance Publishing | Brilliance Audio
What sets this book apart is the real-life examples, easily accessible for those of us outside of law enforcement. Dreeke doesn't tell you to validate others or suspend your own ego—he shows you what it looks like through vivid, concrete scenarios. This makes the principles easy to visualize and imagine applying in your own everyday interactions. Whether it's establishing time constraints to put someone at ease while mentally fixing the end of a meal as your last bite of salad or by learning to ask the right questions, the advice never feels abstract.
The book is also an easy, engaging listen. Dreeke's background lends natural credibility without the advice ever feeling manipulative. The tone strikes a comfortable balance between professional insight and genuine warmth—fitting for a book about making it all about the other person.
My one caveat: these principles only work if you do. Unless you deliberately practice these skills in the real world, the insights won't stick and the power of this book will be lost to the company of dust motes on your bookshelf. But if you commit to putting this advice into action, I believe step-by-step you'll reap meaningful change, one conversation at a time.
ALC provided by Netgalley. Courtesy of Brilliance Publishing | Brilliance Audio
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This was an interesting book. I already knew most of the tips and suggestions, but I did take something new from it.
I liked the references to other works and the real-life examples that elaborated on the theory. Though, some readers may find the tips repetitive after a while. Stick with it, the repetition is a good thing.
The audiobook was easy to listen to and understand. It was a bit slow for my taste, but that's definitely not a con.
Would recommend.
I liked the references to other works and the real-life examples that elaborated on the theory. Though, some readers may find the tips repetitive after a while. Stick with it, the repetition is a good thing.
The audiobook was easy to listen to and understand. It was a bit slow for my taste, but that's definitely not a con.
Would recommend.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
thankyou #netgallery for the advance audiobook ARC.
i really enjoyed the way the author has described and researched everything so clearly. i agree with all of the key points, and it does help you improve yourself a lot if you keep the things in mind. i loved how the author has included his own experiences and elaborated it in his book. and plus, as an audiobook it was an incredibly easy listen.
i really enjoyed the way the author has described and researched everything so clearly. i agree with all of the key points, and it does help you improve yourself a lot if you keep the things in mind. i loved how the author has included his own experiences and elaborated it in his book. and plus, as an audiobook it was an incredibly easy listen.
March 21, 2026
The book is structured in a simple easy to follow format that shares the technique and then elaborates on it. The techniques shared are bot groundbreakinv but things you are likely doing anyway. It just links them together in a way that makes it easy to consciously implement them. The practice strategies shared at the end are useful.
May 18, 2026
Solid book on connecting with people. I like the general themes and tips it gives. It also has real world examples that give a clear picture on how to use them.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews