Me, You & Us: Moving Beyond Relational Trauma and Disorder (Anxious/Avoidant Attachment, Codependency, BPD) to Build a Stable, Lasting Relationship

by Brian Birdbell

A guide to healing relational patterns, setting boundaries, and building the emotionally healthy love you’ve always wanted

For years, I struggled in romantic relationships—trapped in people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, and emotional disconnection. I didn’t know how to set boundaries, communicate honestly, or feel safe being myself. Like many people with a history of codependency or relational trauma, I was stuck in survival mode—longing for intimacy but afraid to be truly seen.

Whether you're recovering from toxic relationships, navigating attachment wounds, or simply want to show up more authentically in love, this book will help

Understand your emotional patterns and triggersCommunicate with honesty and curiosityCreate safety, trust, and intimacy with your partnerBreak free from performance, people-pleasing, and self-betrayalBuild a relationship rooted in mutual respect, care, and desireIf you’re ready to stop performing and start connecting—for real—this book is your invitation.

Perfect for readers

Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel HellerThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkHold Me Tight by Dr. Sue JohnsonCodependent No More by Melody BeattieIt Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn

191 pages, Paperback

Published June 11, 2025

About the author

Brian, with his wife Stephanie, hosts the acclaimed podcast A Codependent Mind.

Reviews

[Eva · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn’t relate to the story..

[Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved the content, resonated a lot with it and I like the personal style of writing. Unfortunately I couldn’t help but think it was written partly with the help of AI to weave it all together or even paragraphs itself.

[Hailey Stalter · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF around 30% - the more I read the more this felt like the author was rehashing the same basic thought again and again with the help of an AI program.

[Jared Bieschke · Rating 5 out of 5]

incredibly apt (unfortunately)

[Emily Griffith · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were three chapters that really stuck with me: boundaries, communication, and honesty.

Everything else felt more like personal opinion - and doesn’t have the nuance and professional study other relationship books have like Conscious Loving, Getting the Love You Want, and Hold Me Tight. This guy has a podcast not a doctorate.

But I think this book is helpful for people who have experienced relationship trauma and would like some understanding behind their people pleasing tendencies.