Me, You & Us: Moving Beyond Relational Trauma and Disorder (Anxious/Avoidant Attachment, Codependency, BPD) to Build a Stable, Lasting Relationship

by Brian Birdbell

A guide to healing relational patterns, setting boundaries, and building the emotionally healthy love you’ve always wanted

For years, I struggled in romantic relationships—trapped in people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, and emotional disconnection. I didn’t know how to set boundaries, communicate honestly, or feel safe being myself. Like many people with a history of codependency or relational trauma, I was stuck in survival mode—longing for intimacy but afraid to be truly seen.

Whether you're recovering from toxic relationships, navigating attachment wounds, or simply want to show up more authentically in love, this book will help

Understand your emotional patterns and triggersCommunicate with honesty and curiosityCreate safety, trust, and intimacy with your partnerBreak free from performance, people-pleasing, and self-betrayalBuild a relationship rooted in mutual respect, care, and desireIf you’re ready to stop performing and start connecting—for real—this book is your invitation.

Perfect for readers

Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel HellerThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkHold Me Tight by Dr. Sue JohnsonCodependent No More by Melody BeattieIt Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn

Genres: Audiobook, Self Help

191 pages, Paperback

Published June 11, 2025

About the author

Brian, with his wife Stephanie, hosts the acclaimed podcast A Codependent Mind.

Reviews

[Nina]

Loved the content, resonated a lot with it and I like the personal style of writing. Unfortunately I couldn’t help but think it was written partly with the help of AI to weave it all together or even paragraphs itself.

[Eva]

I couldn’t relate to the story..

[marianna]

I really enjoyed this book.. it gave me a lot of new perspectives and helped me connect certain ideas about relationships and trauma that I don't think I had been able to put together on my own before. It never sounded like a professional telling me what I should think or how I should feel. Instead, it felt like another person sharing what they've learned through their own human experience, I think that's why I connected with it. There was something comforting about the honesty of it, while still challenging me to look at certain things differently. I definitely walked away from it with a wider perspective than I had going in.

[Hailey Stalter]

DNF around 30% - the more I read the more this felt like the author was rehashing the same basic thought again and again with the help of an AI program.

[Jared Bieschke]

incredibly apt (unfortunately)

[Katie]

The author was a little mundane at times, but brought up some good points. Not a bad read.

[Emily Griffith]

There were three chapters that really stuck with me: boundaries, communication, and honesty.

Everything else felt more like personal opinion - and doesn’t have the nuance and professional study other relationship books have like Conscious Loving, Getting the Love You Want, and Hold Me Tight. This guy has a podcast not a doctorate.

But I think this book is helpful for people who have experienced relationship trauma and would like some understanding behind their people pleasing tendencies.