In order to remind myself of the content of this practical guide, I would like to highlight ten points that are particularly essential to me.
Krech says about working through lists and forgetting about life:
"Getting [the tasks of a conventional To Do list] done will allow you to maintain your life and continue to function, but for what purpose? There must be something else you need to do, beyond keeping your bathroom sanitary and your car clean, if you are to find fulfillment and meaning in your life."
The next passage summarizes Naikan, a method that points in the direction of significant activities.
The process of Naikan reflection is relatively simple. It is based on three questions:
(1) What have I received from ____?
(2) What have I given to ______?
(3) What troubles and difficulties have I caused ______?
These questions provide a framework for reflecting on parents, friends, teachers, siblings, colleagues, children and partners. […] It’s hard to feel stressed out and grateful at the same time.
Krech emphasizes that a life that aims to avoid risks is a highly dangerous life:
Reflection, risk and contribution—three pillars to a meaningful life. Perhaps we can better express it in an equation: Reflection + Risk = Contribution […] WARNING: Inaction and security may be hazardous to your purpose! […] When we don’t take risks we get stuck in a rut of safety. Over time, we become trapped inside our own life […] We grow resentful at ourselves for letting our grand passions languish.
Krech warns about lingering in doubt:
Afraid to make the wrong choice, we can wait and hope for a decision to become obvious. We try to think through the issue in our minds. We analyze it and ruminate about it. But we can’t figure out life in our minds. Life is resolved through life itself. […] So when we are confronted by indecision, we need to take action despite our doubts or confusion. We need to move forward, even if we’re only taking small steps. […] The situation may change or reveal itself in a new way once we have moved to a new vantage point.
In many cases, the mistake is less important than what you do after you’ve made a mistake. [… O]nce a mistake is made, we must simply respond to the new reality.
Arugamama is a term used in the so-called Morita therapy:
The state of arugamama is one in which we do not try to escape from our emotional experience. We are not seeking any kind of emotional or cognitive state other than the one we are in at the moment. Yet we continue to devote ourselves to what is important for us to do. We carry out the purposes of our lives, because they give life meaning.
The following quote reminds the reader that they are not the only ones to suffer if they postpone necessary tasks:
Take procrastination, for example. Many of us prefer to tolerate the personal consequences and inconvenience that result from procrastination than to face the discomfort and disruption of changing our ways. […] Often we are not the only victim touched by our irresponsible choices and poor time management. Our day-to-day doings and misdoings impact on those we know and those we won’t ever know. [… W]hen we are trying to compress our work into what little time is left, our relationships with others can become strained and delicate
Krech also deals with the bondage into which we place ourselves when we grant absolute validity to our affinities.
When I say, ‘I am going to do this because I like it; I am not going to do that because I don’t like it,’ what I am really saying is, ‘My hands are bound; I have no choice in life.’
In the following, a quote from Chogyam Trungpa is explained, which can be a guide to how to deal with loss:
Hold the sadness and pain of samsara in your heart and at the same time the power and vision of the Great Eastern Sun. Then the warrior can make a proper cup of tea.”–Chogyam Trungpa […] The first thing we must do is be willing to hold our pain and sadness in our heart. [… T]o hold the sadness and pain in our heart is to be aware of the sadness and pain in our heart. We notice and acknowledge the feeling of disappointment, gloom, and frustration—and we hold it in our heart with warmth and tenderness. Think about how you usually respond to the feeling of sadness or depression. You want to get rid of it. You want to avoid it. You want to make it go away. […] The second element of Trungpa’s advice is to hold the power and vision of the Great Eastern Sun in our heart at the same time […] The Great Eastern Sun represents a combination of wisdom and discipline. It is about moving forward. It is about waking up to your life. The Great Eastern Sun shows us what to do and not do. It is cheerful, illuminating and carries the quality of nonaggression.
Finally, a warning about perfectionism:
If you think about it, there is a relationship between perfectionism and grandiosity. If you think that what you do should be perfect, than you must have a very high opinion of yourself. On the other hand, if you assess your abilities realistically, you are likely to discover some humility and accept a more realistic perspective about what you are doing.