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So Old, So Young: A Novel
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“
So Old, So Young
is a story of romantic love, professional jealousy, misplaced longing, and—above all—the gift of lifelong friendship. You will laugh on every page, except for when you find yourself moved to tears.” —Jenny Jackson,
New York Times
bestselling author of
Pineapple Street
Six Friends.
Five Parties.
Twenty Years…
How did we get So Old, So Young ?
From Grant Ginder, the bestselling author of The People We Hate at the Wedding, comes a novel of impending millennial middle age that is part love story, part tragic comedy. Five parties over the course of two decades bring six college friends together, exploring the ways we can run from and cling to our friends in love, life, and death.
For Marco and Mia, Sasha and Theo, Richie and Adam, the one constant in life after college together has been change. New jobs. New cities. New spouses. New children. Through it all, one thing they thought would always stay the same is their friendship. But time has a way of breaking even the strongest bonds and testing what we thought we knew.
From East Village apartment parties and disastrous destination weddings to fortieth birthdays and suburban backyard barbecues, Grant Ginder’s resonant, funny, and deeply moving novel is a story about the growing pains of the millennial generation, and a celebration of how love can shift, stumble, and grow into something bigger than we ever could have imagined.
Six Friends.
Five Parties.
Twenty Years…
How did we get So Old, So Young ?
From Grant Ginder, the bestselling author of The People We Hate at the Wedding, comes a novel of impending millennial middle age that is part love story, part tragic comedy. Five parties over the course of two decades bring six college friends together, exploring the ways we can run from and cling to our friends in love, life, and death.
For Marco and Mia, Sasha and Theo, Richie and Adam, the one constant in life after college together has been change. New jobs. New cities. New spouses. New children. Through it all, one thing they thought would always stay the same is their friendship. But time has a way of breaking even the strongest bonds and testing what we thought we knew.
From East Village apartment parties and disastrous destination weddings to fortieth birthdays and suburban backyard barbecues, Grant Ginder’s resonant, funny, and deeply moving novel is a story about the growing pains of the millennial generation, and a celebration of how love can shift, stumble, and grow into something bigger than we ever could have imagined.
Audible Audio
Expected publication February 17, 2026
16348 people want to read
About the author
Grant Ginder
7 books442 followersGrant Ginder is the author of five novels, including LET'S NOT DO THAT AGAIN and THE PEOPLE WE HATE AT THE WEDDING. He received his MFA from NYU, where he teaches writing. He lives in Brooklyn.
Follow him on Twitter or Instagram @GrantGinder
Follow him on Twitter or Instagram @GrantGinder
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
December 9, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
For the first few chapters of this book, I was so worried that I wasn't going to like it. It felt a bit shallow, and there didn't really seem to be a plot. I was wrong.
"So Old, So Young" is told over twenty years, through five different parties. The novel does a perfect job of illustrating how time changes everything: people, relationships, interests, and ideas. Each character navigates this in different ways, showing the complexity of human nature.
This story was completely character-driven. While that can be boring, this was done very well. The story follows six characters, and every single one of them is complicated, realistic, and distinctive. Sometimes I liked them, and sometimes I hated them. What I had first mistook for being shallow was actually just complexity, with each character having very real flaws, which could be found in any of us.
Although the ending felt slightly rushed over, it was still an incredible read!
Overall, I would definitely recommend "So Old, So Young" if you are looking for a more character-driven story that is still interesting. Do yourself a favor and read it once it's released on February 17th!
For the first few chapters of this book, I was so worried that I wasn't going to like it. It felt a bit shallow, and there didn't really seem to be a plot. I was wrong.
"So Old, So Young" is told over twenty years, through five different parties. The novel does a perfect job of illustrating how time changes everything: people, relationships, interests, and ideas. Each character navigates this in different ways, showing the complexity of human nature.
This story was completely character-driven. While that can be boring, this was done very well. The story follows six characters, and every single one of them is complicated, realistic, and distinctive. Sometimes I liked them, and sometimes I hated them. What I had first mistook for being shallow was actually just complexity, with each character having very real flaws, which could be found in any of us.
Although the ending felt slightly rushed over, it was still an incredible read!
Overall, I would definitely recommend "So Old, So Young" if you are looking for a more character-driven story that is still interesting. Do yourself a favor and read it once it's released on February 17th!
July 23, 2025
6 friends all trying to navigate adult life as they grow up and grow apart as they long for their old selves and who they used to be.
Going in, I knew this would be a story you’d need to sink your teeth into because it is primarily character driven with a larger cast of characters. It took a minute to sort everyone out. With alternating POV, I found myself wanting to stay with certain characters, and then skip over other chapters because they weren’t interesting to me or they were just too insufferable.
There is a lot here that I found relatable but i think ultimately, the writing lacked depth and emotion. It was hard to emotionally connect with anyone. It flowed between past reflections to present day sometimes within the same paragraph so my eyes did a lot a work reading each word to make sure I didn’t skip over anything.
The ending felt rushed and by then, I didn’t feel that emotional pull I know the author was trying to accomplish.
I’m giving this one 3.5 ⭐️ right now but rounding up to 4 because there is a lot here to unpack and I think with the right readers, it’ll be a hit.
Going in, I knew this would be a story you’d need to sink your teeth into because it is primarily character driven with a larger cast of characters. It took a minute to sort everyone out. With alternating POV, I found myself wanting to stay with certain characters, and then skip over other chapters because they weren’t interesting to me or they were just too insufferable.
There is a lot here that I found relatable but i think ultimately, the writing lacked depth and emotion. It was hard to emotionally connect with anyone. It flowed between past reflections to present day sometimes within the same paragraph so my eyes did a lot a work reading each word to make sure I didn’t skip over anything.
The ending felt rushed and by then, I didn’t feel that emotional pull I know the author was trying to accomplish.
I’m giving this one 3.5 ⭐️ right now but rounding up to 4 because there is a lot here to unpack and I think with the right readers, it’ll be a hit.
August 11, 2025
“they were never going to stop growing up, and there was nothing they could do to change that”
unapologetically human and absolutely devastating as a twenty something already riddled with nostalgia for the present
unapologetically human and absolutely devastating as a twenty something already riddled with nostalgia for the present
November 5, 2025
Excellent excellent!
I adore this author’s writing. This is kind of like, The Big Chill (1983 film), for millennials, without the music. Hint: would be a fantastic film!
A core group of six friends from college try to maintain their friendships as their lives naturally change. Marriage, children, careers all affect their lives but often making it difficult to relate and stay in touch.
The story follows all of them from their twenties to their forties. Realistic, funny and so relatable. Loved it!
Thanks Edelweiss and Gallery.
I adore this author’s writing. This is kind of like, The Big Chill (1983 film), for millennials, without the music. Hint: would be a fantastic film!
A core group of six friends from college try to maintain their friendships as their lives naturally change. Marriage, children, careers all affect their lives but often making it difficult to relate and stay in touch.
The story follows all of them from their twenties to their forties. Realistic, funny and so relatable. Loved it!
Thanks Edelweiss and Gallery.
November 18, 2025
Won this from a Goodreads give away! Loved reading about all the different characters as they grow up from college days to adulthood. Super nostalgic! Loved getting all the different character’s perspectives. Wish we got a little more information about what happens to some of them at the end of the story…
July 2, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC. This is a character driven novel with deeply relatable characters navigating the complexities of growing older. Told through multiple POVs, it weaves together the perspectives of five people all grappling with identity, aging, and the ache of nostalgia. It’s a coming of mid adulthood story, that dives into that quiet, unsettling realization that their youth passed in a blur, and before they truly figured out who they were, they woke up in a life full of responsibilities. The story explores how they grew apart from people, places, and versions of themselves they once couldn’t imagine living without and how that distance, while freeing, can also feel a little heartbreaking. What I loved most is how the book captures the layered nature of being human. It doesn’t shy away from the hard parts of parenthood, friendship breakups, love lost, grief, and even the mundane rhythms of daily life. It’s a gentle reminder that growing older means remembering, letting go, and holding on often all at once.
dnf
November 28, 2025dnf @ 28%
here's the deal. i was actually enjoying this one. it's really well written, the characters are intriguing, etc etc. there's nothing "wrong" with the book. i was simply uncomfortable reading it; there was just far too much about drugs and sex. the language was strong as well, which generally isn't an issue, but combined with the other factors i just didn't want to keep going.
thank you to the publisher for an e-arc!
here's the deal. i was actually enjoying this one. it's really well written, the characters are intriguing, etc etc. there's nothing "wrong" with the book. i was simply uncomfortable reading it; there was just far too much about drugs and sex. the language was strong as well, which generally isn't an issue, but combined with the other factors i just didn't want to keep going.
thank you to the publisher for an e-arc!
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Many thanks to NetGalley and Gallery/Scout Press for an early copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
4.25 stars
"Mia stared at the picture in Sasha's hand. The two girls in it looked like total strangers, and for a split second she hated them, and envied them, and loved them, and pitied them. She wanted to tell them: before you know it, everything will change.
...They were going to lose parts of themselves that they had thought were irreplicable, only to find they didn't miss them at all. There was no other option, nothing else to do. Because staying young forever wasn't just impossible- it was exhausting. No one was meant to shoulder that amount of possibility for very long."
This book follows a group of college friends over nearly 20 years as they gather for various celebrations: a college party, a wedding, a birthday celebration, a Halloween party, and finally, a funeral. Those starting this book need to know that this is very different in vibe than most books with this theme. It is slower, and more literary, and much more serious and realistic. It is an honest portrayal of how we change as we get older and take different paths, and what this does to relationships we thought would never change. Is it possible to stay close with someone you no longer have anything in common with, other than memories and love for one another? What happens when you no longer understand each other and the choices that are made? What if you no longer like someone who was once like your other half?
If you are a reader who needs likable characters, this book is not for you. This group is alternately incredibly loving and supportive of one another, then dismissive and even cruel. They make terrible decisions, they live with regrets, and they are often incredibly self-centered.
This book is such a tender look at long term friendships and giving grace not only to others but to ourselves, both as we are now and who we used to be. I loved it, and hope to try some of Ginder's backlist soon.
4.25 stars
"Mia stared at the picture in Sasha's hand. The two girls in it looked like total strangers, and for a split second she hated them, and envied them, and loved them, and pitied them. She wanted to tell them: before you know it, everything will change.
...They were going to lose parts of themselves that they had thought were irreplicable, only to find they didn't miss them at all. There was no other option, nothing else to do. Because staying young forever wasn't just impossible- it was exhausting. No one was meant to shoulder that amount of possibility for very long."
This book follows a group of college friends over nearly 20 years as they gather for various celebrations: a college party, a wedding, a birthday celebration, a Halloween party, and finally, a funeral. Those starting this book need to know that this is very different in vibe than most books with this theme. It is slower, and more literary, and much more serious and realistic. It is an honest portrayal of how we change as we get older and take different paths, and what this does to relationships we thought would never change. Is it possible to stay close with someone you no longer have anything in common with, other than memories and love for one another? What happens when you no longer understand each other and the choices that are made? What if you no longer like someone who was once like your other half?
If you are a reader who needs likable characters, this book is not for you. This group is alternately incredibly loving and supportive of one another, then dismissive and even cruel. They make terrible decisions, they live with regrets, and they are often incredibly self-centered.
This book is such a tender look at long term friendships and giving grace not only to others but to ourselves, both as we are now and who we used to be. I loved it, and hope to try some of Ginder's backlist soon.
October 2, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this eARC in exchange for my honest review.
4.5 stars rounded up
Going into this pretty blind - I wasn’t sure what to expect! But I was so into this friend group, I really enjoyed how the whole book was centered around these few specific events throughout all those years. It felt raw and real and emotional and just absolutely hit with me on the growing and changing and evolving. One of those books that I’ll continue to think back on
4.5 stars rounded up
Going into this pretty blind - I wasn’t sure what to expect! But I was so into this friend group, I really enjoyed how the whole book was centered around these few specific events throughout all those years. It felt raw and real and emotional and just absolutely hit with me on the growing and changing and evolving. One of those books that I’ll continue to think back on
Read
October 31, 2025So so good, so fun to read!! 🥹
August 10, 2025
This is the story of a group of six friends told through the respective lenses of each of them using 5 parties that bring them together, twenty years, and all of the life changes that cause their friendships to evolve. It begins with them jn college and we are carried with them into their 40s.
I did not expect to love this book as much as I did. I loved these characters and it was so nostalgic of my college years, young adulthood in my twenties, and all of the life experiences that came with my thirties and forties. It was real and raw with nuggets of humor and emotion that made you connect with the characters. I was really sad to finish this book because I wasn’t ready to let these characters go.
Thank you so much to NetGalley, the publisher, and to the author for granting me this ARC Kindle copy of So Old, So Young. I loved, loved, loved it and I’m so grateful. Thank you for the opportunity.
I did not expect to love this book as much as I did. I loved these characters and it was so nostalgic of my college years, young adulthood in my twenties, and all of the life experiences that came with my thirties and forties. It was real and raw with nuggets of humor and emotion that made you connect with the characters. I was really sad to finish this book because I wasn’t ready to let these characters go.
Thank you so much to NetGalley, the publisher, and to the author for granting me this ARC Kindle copy of So Old, So Young. I loved, loved, loved it and I’m so grateful. Thank you for the opportunity.
September 29, 2025
4.5 stars
I was pleasantly surprised by this novel. I enjoyed the study in friendship and how it can change over time. I enjoyed the very real cast of characters. They felt well fleshed out and very unique. I wished only that the nostalgia was more nuanced.
I was pleasantly surprised by this novel. I enjoyed the study in friendship and how it can change over time. I enjoyed the very real cast of characters. They felt well fleshed out and very unique. I wished only that the nostalgia was more nuanced.
December 22, 2025
I finished this book a few days ago and I still think about them … review is coming soon !
July 9, 2025
In this book we are following 5 friends over a 20 year period. At first, I wasn’t sure if I was going to like this.. but somewhere along the way, I started to really enjoy it.
Each character is unlikeable in their own ways(maybe except for Adam, he was the most likable to me), but I love that about books.
This is a very character driven book as well, so if you’re looking for something with a little more plot, this may not be for you.
There was a moment that Sasha had when she is having a party for her kid and there are about a million things going on… just a moment with a fish and I started dying laughing, because as a mother myself, I could see myself being in her exact position and how overwhelming it is.
I will say I didn’t love the ending… and not because it’s not this perfect ending with a bow on top-I just wish some of the scenes towards the end were flushed out or explored more.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book.
Thank you NetGalley and Gallery Books for the ARC!
Each character is unlikeable in their own ways(maybe except for Adam, he was the most likable to me), but I love that about books.
This is a very character driven book as well, so if you’re looking for something with a little more plot, this may not be for you.
There was a moment that Sasha had when she is having a party for her kid and there are about a million things going on… just a moment with a fish and I started dying laughing, because as a mother myself, I could see myself being in her exact position and how overwhelming it is.
I will say I didn’t love the ending… and not because it’s not this perfect ending with a bow on top-I just wish some of the scenes towards the end were flushed out or explored more.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book.
Thank you NetGalley and Gallery Books for the ARC!
August 14, 2025
Thank you NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for an honest review!
I really enjoyed this book, though I’ll be honest there was a stretch in the middle that dragged a bit before things picked back up. Still, it was such a realistic portrayal of friendship, grief, & how our relationships evolve over time. I couldn’t imagine being friends with someone for 20 years & not hitting a few rough patches now & then. I really appreciated the humor & sarcasm throughout, & I was especially impressed with how the female characters were written, which is something I don’t always expect from a male author. Each character felt fully human: the kind you love one moment & can’t stand the next & then go back to loving. Overall, I think this book was great & I can’t wait to pick up more of his work!
I really enjoyed this book, though I’ll be honest there was a stretch in the middle that dragged a bit before things picked back up. Still, it was such a realistic portrayal of friendship, grief, & how our relationships evolve over time. I couldn’t imagine being friends with someone for 20 years & not hitting a few rough patches now & then. I really appreciated the humor & sarcasm throughout, & I was especially impressed with how the female characters were written, which is something I don’t always expect from a male author. Each character felt fully human: the kind you love one moment & can’t stand the next & then go back to loving. Overall, I think this book was great & I can’t wait to pick up more of his work!
January 13, 2026
So Old, So Young is special for so many reasons. First is its structure: the novel unfolds over a series of milestone gatherings across roughly twenty years, told through the perspectives of a group of friends who meet in college in the early 2000s. It’s a clever, engaging framework that keeps the story moving and makes the passage of time feel both fluid and meaningful. Plus, for anyone like me who is of a similar age as the characters, the references are amazing.
The writing is beautiful. Light enough to draw you in quickly, sharp in its humor, and poignant without ever tipping into sentimentality.
My one real criticism is that, at times, certain plot turns arrived without quite enough narrative buildup. One particular storyline felt as though it was introduced too abruptly, which made it harder to fully understand what was driving the character in that moment. It was eventually addressed in a way that gave me enough context for it to make sense, even if I still didn’t entirely relate to the choice itself.
In a way, that slight disorientation feels right in line with what the novel is exploring: how well we truly know our friends (and ourselves!) as we move through the messy, unpredictable process of growing up, and how we never really stop doing so. The book is deeply attuned to the idea that adulthood doesn’t bring clarity so much as it brings new versions of uncertainty.
For readers drawn to stories about friendship, coming of age, and the surprising, often bittersweet turns life can take, this book will be a hit. So Old, So Young is funny, emotionally astute, and full of sharp observations that I expect will stay with me for a long time.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advance copy.
The writing is beautiful. Light enough to draw you in quickly, sharp in its humor, and poignant without ever tipping into sentimentality.
My one real criticism is that, at times, certain plot turns arrived without quite enough narrative buildup. One particular storyline felt as though it was introduced too abruptly, which made it harder to fully understand what was driving the character in that moment. It was eventually addressed in a way that gave me enough context for it to make sense, even if I still didn’t entirely relate to the choice itself.
In a way, that slight disorientation feels right in line with what the novel is exploring: how well we truly know our friends (and ourselves!) as we move through the messy, unpredictable process of growing up, and how we never really stop doing so. The book is deeply attuned to the idea that adulthood doesn’t bring clarity so much as it brings new versions of uncertainty.
For readers drawn to stories about friendship, coming of age, and the surprising, often bittersweet turns life can take, this book will be a hit. So Old, So Young is funny, emotionally astute, and full of sharp observations that I expect will stay with me for a long time.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advance copy.
November 4, 2025
Thank you for the ARC, I had the honor of reading this novel a tad early and boy, did I ever. I ripped through each page, invested in characters like I was growing up with them as well. I felt like I was reliving the early 2000s through the eyes of a college student, instead of an elementary school student. There were even a couple of times I rolled my eyes and thought, “we get it, it’s the early aughts, the way my parents probably did when consuming media set in the 80s full of nostalgia and possibility, it was a nice reminder of what once was or what could have been. Living through the characters felt enlightening, and had me yearning for a time I didn’t experience through adult eyes. A wonderful rotating perspective on how it feels to grow older and dissect the growing pains, not just in yourself, but with college mates as well. Each character felt fleshed out, both like-able and dislike-able in their own unique way. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this novel, and I’ve been inspired to seek out and read his other works, which I feel is a high praise for an author. Four and a half stars from me!
August 17, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
So Old, So Young is funny, tender, and piercingly honest—the kind of novel that sneaks up on you with nostalgia and leaves you reflecting on your own friendships long after the last page.
Grant Ginder perfectly captures the messy beauty of adulthood—how love shifts, friendships stretch and sometimes snap, and how time changes everything we thought was unshakable. The structure—five parties over twenty years—is brilliant, each gathering layered with humor, heartbreak, and the bittersweet weight of growing older.
These characters feel like people you’ve known (or maybe still know)—flawed, hopeful, disappointing, and redeeming all at once. I laughed, I winced, and I found myself unexpectedly emotional by the end.
A tragicomedy that hits right in the heart, So Old, So Young is both a sharp portrait of millennial middle age and a tender celebration of the bonds that survive it.
So Old, So Young is funny, tender, and piercingly honest—the kind of novel that sneaks up on you with nostalgia and leaves you reflecting on your own friendships long after the last page.
Grant Ginder perfectly captures the messy beauty of adulthood—how love shifts, friendships stretch and sometimes snap, and how time changes everything we thought was unshakable. The structure—five parties over twenty years—is brilliant, each gathering layered with humor, heartbreak, and the bittersweet weight of growing older.
These characters feel like people you’ve known (or maybe still know)—flawed, hopeful, disappointing, and redeeming all at once. I laughed, I winced, and I found myself unexpectedly emotional by the end.
A tragicomedy that hits right in the heart, So Old, So Young is both a sharp portrait of millennial middle age and a tender celebration of the bonds that survive it.
August 15, 2025
Arguably one of my favorite books I've read this year. I absolutely loved this character-driven novel by Grant Ginder. With multiple POVs, it took me a little while to get into the groove of the story, but once I did, I couldn't put this book down. It can be challenging to accomplish writing a book over the span of fifteen+ years with 6 main characters without leaving readers feeling like something was left out, but this book struck a great balance. The book takes place over a few key events between the friends' lives, from their college years through their late thirties, and you really get to see how much each person has evolved and what has happened, without getting too bogged down in the details.
As a younger Millennial who is increasingly facing how much things can change as you get older, so many parts of this book hit home: "Before you know it, everything will change. They were never going to stop growing up. Why was that so hard to accept?...They were going to lose parts of themselves that they had thought were irreplaceable, only to find they didn't miss them at all."
Immediately sought out another book of Ginder's after reading this, looking forward to more in the future! Thank you to Netgalley and Gallery Books for the ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
As a younger Millennial who is increasingly facing how much things can change as you get older, so many parts of this book hit home: "Before you know it, everything will change. They were never going to stop growing up. Why was that so hard to accept?...They were going to lose parts of themselves that they had thought were irreplaceable, only to find they didn't miss them at all."
Immediately sought out another book of Ginder's after reading this, looking forward to more in the future! Thank you to Netgalley and Gallery Books for the ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
August 20, 2025
So Old, So Young is a character-driven story told through multiple points of view, with each chapter giving us a glimpse into a different character’s life. The book explores love, loss, friendship, and the ups and downs of navigating life’s journey.
A great read that reflects on life’s challenges, the power of friendship and whether friends make the journey easier or harder. Each chapter was a different POV. At times I wished we got to stay with certain characters a little longer, and a few of the POV shifts were a bit confusing. The ending also felt a little rushed, but overall, I really enjoyed it.
Big thanks to NetGalley and Gallery/Scout Press for the read!
A great read that reflects on life’s challenges, the power of friendship and whether friends make the journey easier or harder. Each chapter was a different POV. At times I wished we got to stay with certain characters a little longer, and a few of the POV shifts were a bit confusing. The ending also felt a little rushed, but overall, I really enjoyed it.
Big thanks to NetGalley and Gallery/Scout Press for the read!
September 20, 2025
If you are old enough to remember "The Big Chill" and loved it, then SO OLD, SO YOUNG is for you.
Thank you to Net Galley for the chance to read this before publication.
Beginning with preparations for a funeral (no spoiler, it is in the first chapter), we meet and follow 6 college friends over a span of 20 years.
Each book section takes place at a party: apartment parties, disastrous destination wedding receptions, 40th birthday parties and suburban family BBQS.
We follow loves, betrayals, support and heartbreak. And some laugh-out-loud humor.
After enjoying Grant Grinder's LET'S NOT DO THAT AGAIN, I was looking forward to scooping up this galley to read before publication. So glad I was given the chance.
Highly recommended.
Thank you to Net Galley for the chance to read this before publication.
Beginning with preparations for a funeral (no spoiler, it is in the first chapter), we meet and follow 6 college friends over a span of 20 years.
Each book section takes place at a party: apartment parties, disastrous destination wedding receptions, 40th birthday parties and suburban family BBQS.
We follow loves, betrayals, support and heartbreak. And some laugh-out-loud humor.
After enjoying Grant Grinder's LET'S NOT DO THAT AGAIN, I was looking forward to scooping up this galley to read before publication. So glad I was given the chance.
Highly recommended.
June 30, 2025
Grant Ginder’s So Old, So Young is a well-written, interestingly structured, character-driven story about friendships and aging. Just know going in that it’s a bit melancholy, not necessarily a feel-good novel. But it has spots of lightness and humor. And it has one of the best mom rants ever.
One of the aspects of this novel that I really enjoyed is the multiple perspectives from which it is written. The book revolves around a group of friends: Mia, Sasha, Adam, Marco, and Richie (and sometimes Nina), from their first post-college years to their mid-forties. Each of the five parts of the novel takes place at a social event that all or most of the friends attend: a New Year’s Eve party, a wedding, a birthday party, a Halloween party, and a funeral. Each part is broken into chapters that are time-stamped and named for the character whose thoughts are conveyed at that moment. This makes the main characters much more dynamic and nuanced; it allows the reader to see many of the different motives and feelings at play that result in each argument, misunderstanding, and heartbreak. This also helps avoid one-dimensional characters that are strictly villains or saints (with one major saintly exception). However, this also results in some of the side characters, who never get a chance to share their perspective, becoming static and unfortunate stereotypes (I’m looking at you Mitch, Emily, and Theo).
Overall, I enjoyed the writing, the journey, and the realism present in many of the characters’ flaws, but I can’t say I would want to be friends with any of them or that I enjoyed all the time I spent with them. However, I think this novel would make a good book club choice. It would be very interesting to discuss which characters were readers’ most and least favorites, as well as when each had relatable and detestable moments (which most of them have). It’s a book that would be fun to talk about with friends, it’s a quick read, and it did end on a hopeful note for me.
Thanks to NetGalley and Gallery Books for my ARC!
One of the aspects of this novel that I really enjoyed is the multiple perspectives from which it is written. The book revolves around a group of friends: Mia, Sasha, Adam, Marco, and Richie (and sometimes Nina), from their first post-college years to their mid-forties. Each of the five parts of the novel takes place at a social event that all or most of the friends attend: a New Year’s Eve party, a wedding, a birthday party, a Halloween party, and a funeral. Each part is broken into chapters that are time-stamped and named for the character whose thoughts are conveyed at that moment. This makes the main characters much more dynamic and nuanced; it allows the reader to see many of the different motives and feelings at play that result in each argument, misunderstanding, and heartbreak. This also helps avoid one-dimensional characters that are strictly villains or saints (with one major saintly exception). However, this also results in some of the side characters, who never get a chance to share their perspective, becoming static and unfortunate stereotypes (I’m looking at you Mitch, Emily, and Theo).
Overall, I enjoyed the writing, the journey, and the realism present in many of the characters’ flaws, but I can’t say I would want to be friends with any of them or that I enjoyed all the time I spent with them. However, I think this novel would make a good book club choice. It would be very interesting to discuss which characters were readers’ most and least favorites, as well as when each had relatable and detestable moments (which most of them have). It’s a book that would be fun to talk about with friends, it’s a quick read, and it did end on a hopeful note for me.
Thanks to NetGalley and Gallery Books for my ARC!
July 3, 2025
Thank you Net Galley and Gallery books. I wasn’t sure about the book at first but once I got going it was a compelling read. How can friendship survive life’s changes? I liked how this was more character driven, I could see or relate to the characters, whether it was from the people around me or personal experiences.
The book is easy to follow and is broken down by each character’s perspective. You are able to see how relationships break down through multiple point of views. It sad to see the misunderstandings, and the realizations of perhaps someone was not the friend they thought they were. Sasha in particular bugged me a bit, while everyone may not have the family life, she shouldn’t diminish the life that others have chosen or may not have chosen but they are making the most of it. I felt that she was harsh with the blow up with Mia.
Overall, once I got going, I did enjoy this one. As our lives changes, our friendship evolve and sometimes they run their course or a comment or one disagreement could cause something irreparable.
The book is easy to follow and is broken down by each character’s perspective. You are able to see how relationships break down through multiple point of views. It sad to see the misunderstandings, and the realizations of perhaps someone was not the friend they thought they were. Sasha in particular bugged me a bit, while everyone may not have the family life, she shouldn’t diminish the life that others have chosen or may not have chosen but they are making the most of it. I felt that she was harsh with the blow up with Mia.
Overall, once I got going, I did enjoy this one. As our lives changes, our friendship evolve and sometimes they run their course or a comment or one disagreement could cause something irreparable.
December 2, 2025
* thanks to Gallery/Scout Press for the ARC (pub date: Feb 2026)
Coming-of-age/dealing with approaching middle age story about a group of college friends (some couples) based around five parties over 20+ years. I didn’t necessarily like any of these people, but I was very invested in what happened to each and every one of them.
Coming-of-age/dealing with approaching middle age story about a group of college friends (some couples) based around five parties over 20+ years. I didn’t necessarily like any of these people, but I was very invested in what happened to each and every one of them.
October 27, 2025
So Old, So Young follows six friends, Marco, Mia, Sasha, Theo, Richie, and Adam and their friendship from college into adulthood for twenty years. They come together for five parties over the course of time that mark milestones in their lives. Told through multiple POV's the story explores how they navigate friendship, love, careers, family, and the heartbreaking loss of one of their own. Sometimes friendships grow apart, but true friendships will find their way back to one another.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Gallery Books for the ARC.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Gallery Books for the ARC.
November 7, 2025
4.25
Thank you Gallery Books, Gallery/Scout Press, Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for the advanced readers copy!
So Old, So Young is a thought-provoking story involving a group of friends who navigate their intertwined lives stretching decades. Even though the book is categorized as fiction, the dynamics between their relationships, indifferences and hidden similarities were a great reflection on what makes the society round.
We embark on a journey with six different characters, all unique in their ways. Their varying rates of maturity throughout the years simultaneously affect both their associations with each other and the way they live forcefully in an adult world. Taking on jobs, promotions, relocations, weddings, marriages, having kids or finding the love of their lives mirror someone we know in real life. Interestingly, it is evident how we see ourselves within these characters in some way unexplainable. We get to experience and see on another lens their struggles hidden beneath the facade and smiles they portray in order to be a functional friend and human.
Going into technicalities, I personally struggled and took a certain amount of time to enter their world and feel that I am within their lives. The immediate introduction of a number of characters had me confused more than a few times I would like to admit, going back and forth to remember who they were, eventually giving up and letting context clues to give me an idea. Ultimately, their names come to me like I was a part of the circle of friends myself.
Another point, I am indifferent with the pop culture references. It is understandable that they were laid out to contemplate the time and age presented. However, in my opinion and my own taste, I found them too much at times, even described where the story is happening at a certain part of a song approximately three times in a paragraph. Personally, it brings me back to reality, pondering on the reference itself rather than imagining the vibes that the characters were in at that moment.
Lastly, some parts lack double spaces, indicating a scene break. Maybe it is the author's format themselves, but I often found myself wondering where I was at, realizing that the story just jumped on another time, a flashback or a look at what the future may be.
Going back to the story, I relatively enjoyed my time reading the book. The characters I misunderstood, one that was good to be true yet I forget that there is genuinely nice people still, one that stumbles numerous times yet hope for the best, an outcast, one that just literally lives to prove themselves to others and so forth. As general these descriptions are, one can not deny that we ourselves have met at least one person that mirrors one of the friends, and even the others who are outside of their circle. To understand why they did what they did or maybe did not. So Old, So Young is a marvelous story to unfold and spend time with.
I looked and still look at my life, the way I lived it and living it, and how I influence others relationships with me and into the world. As simple as it is in words, this book got me to deep dive into self-reflection of myself and the society overall.
Thank you Gallery Books, Gallery/Scout Press, Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for the advanced readers copy!
So Old, So Young is a thought-provoking story involving a group of friends who navigate their intertwined lives stretching decades. Even though the book is categorized as fiction, the dynamics between their relationships, indifferences and hidden similarities were a great reflection on what makes the society round.
We embark on a journey with six different characters, all unique in their ways. Their varying rates of maturity throughout the years simultaneously affect both their associations with each other and the way they live forcefully in an adult world. Taking on jobs, promotions, relocations, weddings, marriages, having kids or finding the love of their lives mirror someone we know in real life. Interestingly, it is evident how we see ourselves within these characters in some way unexplainable. We get to experience and see on another lens their struggles hidden beneath the facade and smiles they portray in order to be a functional friend and human.
Going into technicalities, I personally struggled and took a certain amount of time to enter their world and feel that I am within their lives. The immediate introduction of a number of characters had me confused more than a few times I would like to admit, going back and forth to remember who they were, eventually giving up and letting context clues to give me an idea. Ultimately, their names come to me like I was a part of the circle of friends myself.
Another point, I am indifferent with the pop culture references. It is understandable that they were laid out to contemplate the time and age presented. However, in my opinion and my own taste, I found them too much at times, even described where the story is happening at a certain part of a song approximately three times in a paragraph. Personally, it brings me back to reality, pondering on the reference itself rather than imagining the vibes that the characters were in at that moment.
Lastly, some parts lack double spaces, indicating a scene break. Maybe it is the author's format themselves, but I often found myself wondering where I was at, realizing that the story just jumped on another time, a flashback or a look at what the future may be.
Going back to the story, I relatively enjoyed my time reading the book. The characters I misunderstood, one that was good to be true yet I forget that there is genuinely nice people still, one that stumbles numerous times yet hope for the best, an outcast, one that just literally lives to prove themselves to others and so forth. As general these descriptions are, one can not deny that we ourselves have met at least one person that mirrors one of the friends, and even the others who are outside of their circle. To understand why they did what they did or maybe did not. So Old, So Young is a marvelous story to unfold and spend time with.
I looked and still look at my life, the way I lived it and living it, and how I influence others relationships with me and into the world. As simple as it is in words, this book got me to deep dive into self-reflection of myself and the society overall.
August 16, 2025
I received this eARC from Netgalley and Gallery books, but my opinions are my own.
WOW! I knew when I read the description of this book that it would be something I'd enjoy. And I was absolutely right about that.
Anyone who loves literary fiction will love this book, but SPECIFICALLY the millennials. It feels like a love letter to us.
As a millennial (37 years old), this book felt like stepping into a time capsule. My life is nothing like the lives of these characters in any way. Quite opposite in fact. They're pretty affluent, living and attending college in New York City, and I grew up around poverty in a really small town in the South (United States). But still somehow these characters were relatable. The culture of the early 2000's, the internal struggles of the characters, the way it feels to navigate relationships throughout life changes. It all felt so visceral and real.. and close to home.
From the very first chapter, you know where this book is headed, you just don't know how or why. By the second chapter, you're thrust into the lives of these six young people and it's immediately immersive. A house party in 2007.
The book is set up in 6 sections. Each section is a particular date of a gathering/party/reunion of these friends. All the friends present, get POV's with timestamps so you get the full picture of what's happening and the internal struggles of each friend. Other times in their lives are also woven in through the POV characters personal reflections.
Because there are so many characters, it took the whole first party for me to get a feel for the characters and be able to tell them apart. By the end of the book, I love them and I wanted more.
The book is beautifully written. It captures what it feels like to grow older... to watch your life pass you by so quickly.. to hold on to people that you love even when you can't remember why you loved each other to begin with. It deals with conflict, regret, and learning how to navigate through it all.
Absolutely 5 stars! I will be recommending this book. Thank you Netgalley, Gallery books, and Grant Ginder for the opportunity to read this early copy!
WOW! I knew when I read the description of this book that it would be something I'd enjoy. And I was absolutely right about that.
Anyone who loves literary fiction will love this book, but SPECIFICALLY the millennials. It feels like a love letter to us.
As a millennial (37 years old), this book felt like stepping into a time capsule. My life is nothing like the lives of these characters in any way. Quite opposite in fact. They're pretty affluent, living and attending college in New York City, and I grew up around poverty in a really small town in the South (United States). But still somehow these characters were relatable. The culture of the early 2000's, the internal struggles of the characters, the way it feels to navigate relationships throughout life changes. It all felt so visceral and real.. and close to home.
From the very first chapter, you know where this book is headed, you just don't know how or why. By the second chapter, you're thrust into the lives of these six young people and it's immediately immersive. A house party in 2007.
The book is set up in 6 sections. Each section is a particular date of a gathering/party/reunion of these friends. All the friends present, get POV's with timestamps so you get the full picture of what's happening and the internal struggles of each friend. Other times in their lives are also woven in through the POV characters personal reflections.
Because there are so many characters, it took the whole first party for me to get a feel for the characters and be able to tell them apart. By the end of the book, I love them and I wanted more.
The book is beautifully written. It captures what it feels like to grow older... to watch your life pass you by so quickly.. to hold on to people that you love even when you can't remember why you loved each other to begin with. It deals with conflict, regret, and learning how to navigate through it all.
Absolutely 5 stars! I will be recommending this book. Thank you Netgalley, Gallery books, and Grant Ginder for the opportunity to read this early copy!
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC!
The concept of "So Old, So Young" is meditated throughout the book as emotional struggles, relationship dynamics, and the overall anxieties of adulting are strung together into a beautiful story that makes you appreciate the important things in life. What I learned from the book was to love fiercely and take exciting risks for love, realize everyone's path in life will look different and to not compare, do not leave words unspoken, and lastly embrace that it is ok to get old. If we were young forever we would never learn, grow, or frankly get a break because Ginder is right the weight of the unknown can be exhausting in your early twenties!
The book made me feel part of the friend group. It hold trues to the saying "You can't make new old friends." Each chapter carries you along the lifespan of these chaotic friends starting from their early twenties to their almost forties. The writing immerses you into their world where you absorb their current experiences along with the stories they share. What was poetic and fitting for the book was that all these little moments you collect periodically resurface as you progress through the story creating a sense of cultivated nostalgia as old friends catch up or the characters reflect on their life.
The book's structure jumps from different character perspectives and points in time. At first the multi-character narration style may be a bit confusing, especially if there are gaps between your reading of this book, but once you get reacquainted with all the characters the storytelling choice feels quite fitting. Ginder attempts to capture the realistic essence of an imperfect friend group (because aren't they all?) and the array of identities and growing pains everyone endures. There is drama, brutal and appreciated honesty behind the workings of a large friend group, a shocking twist, and basic conversation that was super relatable. You will hate and love some characters as they evolve and laugh at the blend of personalities. A read that has left me much to think about.
The concept of "So Old, So Young" is meditated throughout the book as emotional struggles, relationship dynamics, and the overall anxieties of adulting are strung together into a beautiful story that makes you appreciate the important things in life. What I learned from the book was to love fiercely and take exciting risks for love, realize everyone's path in life will look different and to not compare, do not leave words unspoken, and lastly embrace that it is ok to get old. If we were young forever we would never learn, grow, or frankly get a break because Ginder is right the weight of the unknown can be exhausting in your early twenties!
The book made me feel part of the friend group. It hold trues to the saying "You can't make new old friends." Each chapter carries you along the lifespan of these chaotic friends starting from their early twenties to their almost forties. The writing immerses you into their world where you absorb their current experiences along with the stories they share. What was poetic and fitting for the book was that all these little moments you collect periodically resurface as you progress through the story creating a sense of cultivated nostalgia as old friends catch up or the characters reflect on their life.
The book's structure jumps from different character perspectives and points in time. At first the multi-character narration style may be a bit confusing, especially if there are gaps between your reading of this book, but once you get reacquainted with all the characters the storytelling choice feels quite fitting. Ginder attempts to capture the realistic essence of an imperfect friend group (because aren't they all?) and the array of identities and growing pains everyone endures. There is drama, brutal and appreciated honesty behind the workings of a large friend group, a shocking twist, and basic conversation that was super relatable. You will hate and love some characters as they evolve and laugh at the blend of personalities. A read that has left me much to think about.
Review of advance copy received from Goodreads Giveaways
So Old, So Young
by Grant Ginder
Thank you Gallery Books for the gifted copy.
What Worked
• Strong, distinct character voices
• A structure that mirrors real-life friendships drifting and reconnecting
• Honest exploration of jealousy, nostalgia, and longing
• Sharp observations about millennial adulthood
• Queer representation woven naturally into the story
What Didn’t Fully Land
• Large cast can take time to settle into
• Emotional depth varies by character
• Ending feels slightly rushed, with some arcs left open
by Grant Ginder
Thank you Gallery Books for the gifted copy.
So Old, So Young is one of those books that sneaks up on you. At first, it feels light, almost surface-level, a group of friends drifting from party to party. And then suddenly, you realize it’s doing something much deeper. This is a novel about time, about who we thought we’d be, and about the quiet grief that comes with becoming someone else anyway.
Told across five parties over twenty years, the story tracks six friends as adulthood reshapes their friendships, ambitions, and relationships. There isn’t a traditional plot driving this book, it’s entirely character-focused. That means some characters will frustrate you, some will feel painfully familiar, and some you’ll wish you could spend more time with. That discomfort feels intentional.
What Worked
• Strong, distinct character voices
• A structure that mirrors real-life friendships drifting and reconnecting
• Honest exploration of jealousy, nostalgia, and longing
• Sharp observations about millennial adulthood
• Queer representation woven naturally into the story
What Didn’t Fully Land
• Large cast can take time to settle into
• Emotional depth varies by character
• Ending feels slightly rushed, with some arcs left open
Overall Thoughts
This is a reflective, sometimes uncomfortable read, but that’s part of its strength. It captures the strange tension of feeling both old and young at the same time, especially when you measure your life against the people who once knew you best. Not every character resonated equally for me, but the cumulative effect is thoughtful, nostalgic, and quietly moving.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4 stars)
If you enjoy character-driven stories about friendship, time, and growing pains, this one is worth sitting with.
October 22, 2025
I am in such adoration of this author and the way he is able to encapsulate 20 years of growth, change, love, loss, and friendship in such particular moments in history for this friend group.
Where I am positioned in life, i am in my 20s and post-grad by a few years. It was glaringly obvious to me that where the story of the group starts is a similar place in life to where I am at and thus, watching Mia, Adam, Richie, Sasha, Theo, and Marco live their lives and grow apart was so foreign to me to but served as a reminder of how adult life unfolds.
I particularly enjoyed the way that in each section, each character had a flashback between the previous time period that was shared in the story & their current, in-the-moment life. Those moments- whether silently observed in the minds’ of the characters or explicitly discussed- really brought the story to life in a way that felt raw. Raw in the best way.
I quite honestly enjoyed this book much more than I had initially anticipated. The characters felt real to me, the storylines were on-par what I had anticipated happening from that first interaction on New Year’s Eve with the friend group, and I found myself content with how everything played out.
Loss in this book comes from many different forms. Friend “breakups”. Divorce. Distance. Death. All of it so perfectly laid out and crafted. And to me, this book is a reminder to a 20-something of just how far life will take them and how loss is inevitable- it’s how we deal with it and move forward that can mean something/change the trajectory of a life.
Thank you NetGalley, Gallery Books, and Scout Press for access to this ARC in return for an honest review.
Where I am positioned in life, i am in my 20s and post-grad by a few years. It was glaringly obvious to me that where the story of the group starts is a similar place in life to where I am at and thus, watching Mia, Adam, Richie, Sasha, Theo, and Marco live their lives and grow apart was so foreign to me to but served as a reminder of how adult life unfolds.
I particularly enjoyed the way that in each section, each character had a flashback between the previous time period that was shared in the story & their current, in-the-moment life. Those moments- whether silently observed in the minds’ of the characters or explicitly discussed- really brought the story to life in a way that felt raw. Raw in the best way.
I quite honestly enjoyed this book much more than I had initially anticipated. The characters felt real to me, the storylines were on-par what I had anticipated happening from that first interaction on New Year’s Eve with the friend group, and I found myself content with how everything played out.
Loss in this book comes from many different forms. Friend “breakups”. Divorce. Distance. Death. All of it so perfectly laid out and crafted. And to me, this book is a reminder to a 20-something of just how far life will take them and how loss is inevitable- it’s how we deal with it and move forward that can mean something/change the trajectory of a life.
Thank you NetGalley, Gallery Books, and Scout Press for access to this ARC in return for an honest review.
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