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Chasing Nirvana: A Seeker's Story of Love, Loss, and Liberation
For fans of Daniella Mestyanek Young’s Uncultured and Tara Westover’s Educated, one woman’s gripping firsthand account of falling into—and eventually escaping—a female guru–led cult as she seeks her own personal awakening.
Growing up under the sway of a Brooklyn housewife turned guru, Priya Hutner is drawn into a world shaped by bizarre rituals, spiritual promises, and oppressive beliefs. What begins as a quest for enlightenment unravels into a stifling reality as the boundaries between spiritual devotion and control blur—and as Priya becomes an integral part of the ashram community, sharing the guru’s teachings, she becomes further entangled in a web of spiritual control and manipulation.
In this deeply personal memoir, Priya shares her struggle to break free from her guru and the cult-like grip to which she falls prey. Priya’s traumatic escape from the community marks a profound turning point as she regains personal power, rediscovers herself, and achieves true liberation in the process.
A spiritual adventure story and a cautionary tale, Chasing Nirvana is a story of love, heartbreak, and redemption that offers a powerful reflection on the perils of blind faith and the beauty of reclaiming one’s life on one’s own terms. Priya’s story is a testament to the human spirit’s capacity for resilience, self-discovery, and freedom from the bondage of belief.
Growing up under the sway of a Brooklyn housewife turned guru, Priya Hutner is drawn into a world shaped by bizarre rituals, spiritual promises, and oppressive beliefs. What begins as a quest for enlightenment unravels into a stifling reality as the boundaries between spiritual devotion and control blur—and as Priya becomes an integral part of the ashram community, sharing the guru’s teachings, she becomes further entangled in a web of spiritual control and manipulation.
In this deeply personal memoir, Priya shares her struggle to break free from her guru and the cult-like grip to which she falls prey. Priya’s traumatic escape from the community marks a profound turning point as she regains personal power, rediscovers herself, and achieves true liberation in the process.
A spiritual adventure story and a cautionary tale, Chasing Nirvana is a story of love, heartbreak, and redemption that offers a powerful reflection on the perils of blind faith and the beauty of reclaiming one’s life on one’s own terms. Priya’s story is a testament to the human spirit’s capacity for resilience, self-discovery, and freedom from the bondage of belief.
356 pages, Paperback
Published March 3, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
March 3, 2026
I loved this book. Priya’s storytelling is raw, honest, and deeply captivating, and her bravery inspired me to stay true to my heart even when that truth shifts or gets hard. As a spiritual seeker, I saw myself in her search for meaning and was pulled into her journey inside a charismatic, cult-like ashram—its rituals, hierarchy, and the slow unraveling of illusion. Her awakening and ultimate decision to leave are told with clarity and courage, and I found myself rooting for her the whole way. This thoughtful, compelling memoir is a must-read for anyone drawn to spirituality, self-discovery, or the resilience it takes to reclaim your life.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 25, 2026
Priya Hutner’s Chasing Nirvana is a memoir that explores a question many people rarely ask until it is too late: when does spiritual guidance become spiritual control?
What stayed with me most was the way Priya captures the gradual nature of her involvement in the guru’s world. The memoir does not portray cult involvement as something that happens overnight. Instead, it reveals how a sincere desire for meaning, belonging, and personal transformation can slowly evolve into dependence on a system that demands increasing loyalty while limiting independent thought.
The strongest aspect of the book is its emotional honesty. Priya does not position herself as someone who was simply deceived. She thoughtfully examines the hopes, vulnerabilities, and longings that made the community appealing in the first place. That self reflection gives the memoir a depth that extends beyond a story of escape and turns it into an exploration of identity, faith, and the universal search for purpose.
I was especially drawn to the tension between spiritual aspiration and personal freedom that runs throughout the narrative. As Priya becomes more deeply embedded within the ashram community, the promises of enlightenment become increasingly intertwined with obedience and sacrifice. Watching her gradually recognize that distinction creates some of the memoir’s most compelling moments.
What makes Chasing Nirvana particularly memorable is that it does not simply chronicle life inside a controlling spiritual environment. It focuses equally on the difficult process of rebuilding afterward. Priya’s journey toward reclaiming her voice, trusting her instincts, and defining spirituality on her own terms gives the memoir its emotional power.
Readers who appreciated Educated, Uncultured, or other memoirs about leaving controlling belief systems will find much to connect with here. Chasing Nirvana is ultimately a story about the courage required to question what you once believed, the cost of reclaiming yourself, and the freedom that can emerge when you learn to trust your own voice again.
What stayed with me most was the way Priya captures the gradual nature of her involvement in the guru’s world. The memoir does not portray cult involvement as something that happens overnight. Instead, it reveals how a sincere desire for meaning, belonging, and personal transformation can slowly evolve into dependence on a system that demands increasing loyalty while limiting independent thought.
The strongest aspect of the book is its emotional honesty. Priya does not position herself as someone who was simply deceived. She thoughtfully examines the hopes, vulnerabilities, and longings that made the community appealing in the first place. That self reflection gives the memoir a depth that extends beyond a story of escape and turns it into an exploration of identity, faith, and the universal search for purpose.
I was especially drawn to the tension between spiritual aspiration and personal freedom that runs throughout the narrative. As Priya becomes more deeply embedded within the ashram community, the promises of enlightenment become increasingly intertwined with obedience and sacrifice. Watching her gradually recognize that distinction creates some of the memoir’s most compelling moments.
What makes Chasing Nirvana particularly memorable is that it does not simply chronicle life inside a controlling spiritual environment. It focuses equally on the difficult process of rebuilding afterward. Priya’s journey toward reclaiming her voice, trusting her instincts, and defining spirituality on her own terms gives the memoir its emotional power.
Readers who appreciated Educated, Uncultured, or other memoirs about leaving controlling belief systems will find much to connect with here. Chasing Nirvana is ultimately a story about the courage required to question what you once believed, the cost of reclaiming yourself, and the freedom that can emerge when you learn to trust your own voice again.
June 28, 2026
The price of awakening
From its opening pages, Chasing Nirvana: A Seeker's Story of Love, Loss, and Liberation avoids the sensationalism that often surrounds memoirs about cults. Author Priya Hutner is far more interested in examining why devotion can feel irresistible than in exposing extraordinary events for their own sake. I was drawn into her account because it treats spiritual longing as something deeply human instead of something naïve. The gradual shift from guidance to dependence unfolds with unsettling credibility, making it easy to understand how an earnest search for purpose can become entangled with obedience. That emotional complexity gives the memoir its greatest strength.
Hutner writes with striking candour about her years inside the ashram, paying close attention to the rituals, hierarchies, and relationships that sustained its authority. The narrative never reduces those experiences to simple manipulation. It also considers the hopes and vulnerabilities that made the community meaningful in the first place, which lends the memoir unusual psychological depth. I found the chapters especially compelling once doubt quietly entered the story, because the tension emerged from internal conflict. The song-inspired chapter titles add an unexpected texture, reinforcing the deeply personal nature of the recollection without distracting from it.
By the end, I was thinking less about the mechanics of coercive belief than about the difficult work of rebuilding a life after certainty collapses. Hutner leaves room for ambiguity, resisting the temptation to reshape painful experience into an uncomplicated narrative of triumph. In sum, CHASING NIRVANA is, indeed, a thoughtful memoir; a fertile, fruitful one.
From its opening pages, Chasing Nirvana: A Seeker's Story of Love, Loss, and Liberation avoids the sensationalism that often surrounds memoirs about cults. Author Priya Hutner is far more interested in examining why devotion can feel irresistible than in exposing extraordinary events for their own sake. I was drawn into her account because it treats spiritual longing as something deeply human instead of something naïve. The gradual shift from guidance to dependence unfolds with unsettling credibility, making it easy to understand how an earnest search for purpose can become entangled with obedience. That emotional complexity gives the memoir its greatest strength.
Hutner writes with striking candour about her years inside the ashram, paying close attention to the rituals, hierarchies, and relationships that sustained its authority. The narrative never reduces those experiences to simple manipulation. It also considers the hopes and vulnerabilities that made the community meaningful in the first place, which lends the memoir unusual psychological depth. I found the chapters especially compelling once doubt quietly entered the story, because the tension emerged from internal conflict. The song-inspired chapter titles add an unexpected texture, reinforcing the deeply personal nature of the recollection without distracting from it.
By the end, I was thinking less about the mechanics of coercive belief than about the difficult work of rebuilding a life after certainty collapses. Hutner leaves room for ambiguity, resisting the temptation to reshape painful experience into an uncomplicated narrative of triumph. In sum, CHASING NIRVANA is, indeed, a thoughtful memoir; a fertile, fruitful one.
Review of advance copy received from Author
I was lucky enough to get an advanced readers copy of this wonderful book. Chasing Nirvana: A Seeker's Story of Love, Loss and Liberation, written by Priya Hutner, the former CEO and advisor to the guru of an ashram, is a compelling memoir. We follow the author on an unforgettable journey as she becomes entrenched in a cult-like spiritual community, and increasingly, becomes disillusioned by it.
As someone who has always been fascinated by spiritual communities, I learned so much about the rituals, rules, beliefs, and hierarchies within this ashram. I held my breath as Priya was being manipulated by a charismatic but deeply flawed guru. The tension builds as she begins to question everything she's devoted herself to while contemplating leaving the ashram. The internal struggle is palpable, and I found myself rooting for her when she finally makes her exit. Her resilience is truly inspiring. (Also, the chapters being named after songs? Brilliant touch.)
The author is remarkably honest about the dysfunction within the community, and her bravery in telling this story shines through every page. The story is well-written and thoughtful, never melodramatic, just truthful.
This book answers critical questions: How does one get involved in such a community? How do participants feel (manipulated? content?)? Are they free to leave? What happens if they try? Yet, I was left with unanswered questions as well. What happened next? How did Priya heal? Does she regret those years? What does she think of her guru now? Is she worried about current members reading this? Does she consider it a cult? My curiosity is thoroughly piqued, and I hope there will be a second book focusing on the new life she created in her forties.
This brave, honest, and utterly compelling memoir is essential reading for anyone interested in cult-like communities, self-discovery, spirituality, and transcending challenging life experiences.
As someone who has always been fascinated by spiritual communities, I learned so much about the rituals, rules, beliefs, and hierarchies within this ashram. I held my breath as Priya was being manipulated by a charismatic but deeply flawed guru. The tension builds as she begins to question everything she's devoted herself to while contemplating leaving the ashram. The internal struggle is palpable, and I found myself rooting for her when she finally makes her exit. Her resilience is truly inspiring. (Also, the chapters being named after songs? Brilliant touch.)
The author is remarkably honest about the dysfunction within the community, and her bravery in telling this story shines through every page. The story is well-written and thoughtful, never melodramatic, just truthful.
This book answers critical questions: How does one get involved in such a community? How do participants feel (manipulated? content?)? Are they free to leave? What happens if they try? Yet, I was left with unanswered questions as well. What happened next? How did Priya heal? Does she regret those years? What does she think of her guru now? Is she worried about current members reading this? Does she consider it a cult? My curiosity is thoroughly piqued, and I hope there will be a second book focusing on the new life she created in her forties.
This brave, honest, and utterly compelling memoir is essential reading for anyone interested in cult-like communities, self-discovery, spirituality, and transcending challenging life experiences.
May 12, 2026
A Powerful Story of Faith, Control, and Freedom
CHASING NIRVANA: A SEEKER'S STORY OF LOVE, LOSS, AND LIBERATION is a deeply personal memoir about faith, belonging, and the painful process of breaking away from something once believed to be sacred. Priya Hutner takes readers into the world of an ashram community shaped by devotion, ritual, and the influence of a powerful guru figure. What begins as a spiritual search slowly becomes something much more complicated, as the lines between guidance and control begin to blur. The book captures how easy it can be to lose oneself while searching for meaning and connection.
One of the strongest parts of CHASING NIRVANA is its honesty. The author doesn’t try to simplify her experiences or turn them into a perfect redemption story. Instead, she shows the emotional confusion, attachment, fear, and hope that came with being part of the community for so long. I found the writing immersive because it focuses just as much on her inner world as it does on the events themselves. The memoir also does a good job of showing why environments like this can feel comforting and difficult to leave at the same time.
As the story moves forward, the emotional tension grows steadily, especially once Priya begins questioning the beliefs and structure around her. The journey toward independence and self-discovery becomes the heart of the memoir, making the later chapters especially impactful. While the subject matter can feel heavy at times, the book remains engaging because of how personal and reflective it is throughout. CHASING NIRVANA ultimately feels less like a story about spirituality alone and more like a story about reclaiming identity and learning to trust oneself again.
CHASING NIRVANA: A SEEKER'S STORY OF LOVE, LOSS, AND LIBERATION is a deeply personal memoir about faith, belonging, and the painful process of breaking away from something once believed to be sacred. Priya Hutner takes readers into the world of an ashram community shaped by devotion, ritual, and the influence of a powerful guru figure. What begins as a spiritual search slowly becomes something much more complicated, as the lines between guidance and control begin to blur. The book captures how easy it can be to lose oneself while searching for meaning and connection.
One of the strongest parts of CHASING NIRVANA is its honesty. The author doesn’t try to simplify her experiences or turn them into a perfect redemption story. Instead, she shows the emotional confusion, attachment, fear, and hope that came with being part of the community for so long. I found the writing immersive because it focuses just as much on her inner world as it does on the events themselves. The memoir also does a good job of showing why environments like this can feel comforting and difficult to leave at the same time.
As the story moves forward, the emotional tension grows steadily, especially once Priya begins questioning the beliefs and structure around her. The journey toward independence and self-discovery becomes the heart of the memoir, making the later chapters especially impactful. While the subject matter can feel heavy at times, the book remains engaging because of how personal and reflective it is throughout. CHASING NIRVANA ultimately feels less like a story about spirituality alone and more like a story about reclaiming identity and learning to trust oneself again.
July 16, 2026
CHASING NIRVANA is a memoir that makes you pause and ask yourself how well you actually know your own reasons for believing what you believe. Priya Hutner grew up under the influence of a Brooklyn housewife turned guru, and what she traces in this book is not a dramatic fall into obvious manipulation but something far more unsettling: the slow, almost invisible process of a sincere spiritual search becoming something you can no longer see clearly from the inside. That gradual quality is what makes the book so hard to put down and so hard to shake afterward.
What I kept returning to was how honest Hutner is about her own investment in the ashram world. She does not write as someone who was simply taken advantage of. She takes real care to examine the longing and vulnerability that made the community feel like home in the first place, which gives the memoir a psychological depth I was not expecting. The rituals, the hierarchies, the relationships built around the guru's authority: none of it is flattened into easy villainy. The tension that builds as she begins to quietly question everything she has devoted herself to is the beating heart of the narrative, and it earns every bit of emotional weight it carries. (The song-inspired chapter titles are a quietly brilliant touch, too.)
By the time you reach the later chapters, the memoir has shifted into something even more affecting: the work of rebuilding after the certainty you organized your life around stops holding. Hutner does not wrap this up neatly, and she is right not to. Readers who connected with Educated or Uncultured will find a lot to sit with here. CHASING NIRVANA is ultimately a book about the cost of reclaiming yourself, and the specific kind of courage it takes to start trusting your own voice again.
What I kept returning to was how honest Hutner is about her own investment in the ashram world. She does not write as someone who was simply taken advantage of. She takes real care to examine the longing and vulnerability that made the community feel like home in the first place, which gives the memoir a psychological depth I was not expecting. The rituals, the hierarchies, the relationships built around the guru's authority: none of it is flattened into easy villainy. The tension that builds as she begins to quietly question everything she has devoted herself to is the beating heart of the narrative, and it earns every bit of emotional weight it carries. (The song-inspired chapter titles are a quietly brilliant touch, too.)
By the time you reach the later chapters, the memoir has shifted into something even more affecting: the work of rebuilding after the certainty you organized your life around stops holding. Hutner does not wrap this up neatly, and she is right not to. Readers who connected with Educated or Uncultured will find a lot to sit with here. CHASING NIRVANA is ultimately a book about the cost of reclaiming yourself, and the specific kind of courage it takes to start trusting your own voice again.
June 24, 2026
“There are no throwaway people. Each person is whole, unique, and complete. We are all God’s children. This is the essence of my teaching.”
With a basic premise of love for all, what could possibly go wrong? This memoir invites you into the train wreck of a woman’s life brought into a cult by her parents when she was young. The power shown by the ashram’s leader, Ma, was terrifying. Ma ruled by kindness and cruelty interchangeably. I kept wondering when the author’s parents were going to wake up and see how dysfunctional it was for all involved. Yoga and helping others in need were two of the more positive aspects of the experience, but they came with a price.
“She leaned over and in a whisper said, “Then you wouldn’t need me anymore.” I sat back and saw her—really saw her. It was a moment of pure honesty and said with such innocence, it stunned me.”
As humans, we all have a basic need to be loved and needed. Ma was no different and when she gave the above answer as to why she wouldn’t train others to do particular exercises on their own, is when the author started to see a glimmer of the truth of her living situation.
This book reminded me of the Hare (Hari) Krishna’s of the 70’s-80’s. I wish the author had put in more dates so that we could follow the timeline more easily.
Overall, I found this book fascinating and couldn’t put it down because I wanted to see how it played out. It is scary how much we are willing to put up with in our search for love and acceptance.
With a basic premise of love for all, what could possibly go wrong? This memoir invites you into the train wreck of a woman’s life brought into a cult by her parents when she was young. The power shown by the ashram’s leader, Ma, was terrifying. Ma ruled by kindness and cruelty interchangeably. I kept wondering when the author’s parents were going to wake up and see how dysfunctional it was for all involved. Yoga and helping others in need were two of the more positive aspects of the experience, but they came with a price.
“She leaned over and in a whisper said, “Then you wouldn’t need me anymore.” I sat back and saw her—really saw her. It was a moment of pure honesty and said with such innocence, it stunned me.”
As humans, we all have a basic need to be loved and needed. Ma was no different and when she gave the above answer as to why she wouldn’t train others to do particular exercises on their own, is when the author started to see a glimmer of the truth of her living situation.
This book reminded me of the Hare (Hari) Krishna’s of the 70’s-80’s. I wish the author had put in more dates so that we could follow the timeline more easily.
Overall, I found this book fascinating and couldn’t put it down because I wanted to see how it played out. It is scary how much we are willing to put up with in our search for love and acceptance.
March 18, 2026
This is a must-read for anyone who has any interest in gurus and/or cults. Priya Hutner spent 20 years in the Kashi Ashram with Ma, a self-spoken guru. The pages of this book tell her story of love and loss. It dives into the tale of a young mother, abuse, and what it is like being a child raised in a cult.
While Ma and the Kashi Ashram did plenty of good in the world, it was still a cult, and Ma was a cult leader. Breaking away from that cult was not easy for the author, and we are allowed to feel her pain and torment over her final realization that she has to leave that place. There are plenty of reasons to place trigger warnings at the beginning of this book -- it takes you through struggling romantic relationships and what it is like to be under someone else's full control of every step you take.
Priya left Ma's cult four years before Ma passed from pancreatic cancer. She finishes her story with just a quick mention of this -- but knowing all she went through from starting yoga as a teen and then moving states to follow Ma, readers can be assured that there was still feeling and connection, even in the end.
While Ma and the Kashi Ashram did plenty of good in the world, it was still a cult, and Ma was a cult leader. Breaking away from that cult was not easy for the author, and we are allowed to feel her pain and torment over her final realization that she has to leave that place. There are plenty of reasons to place trigger warnings at the beginning of this book -- it takes you through struggling romantic relationships and what it is like to be under someone else's full control of every step you take.
Priya left Ma's cult four years before Ma passed from pancreatic cancer. She finishes her story with just a quick mention of this -- but knowing all she went through from starting yoga as a teen and then moving states to follow Ma, readers can be assured that there was still feeling and connection, even in the end.
May 4, 2026
A Look at Another World
A woman raised to worship a guru,Ma. To believe in the teachings that will bring her closer to her God. She left and ventured out when she was young, experienced a different life with psychedelics, living the life as a hippie and became the mom of two. She soon realized she needed her ashum back to help her raise her boys, she could not do without her family, without Ma. She faced many challenges as a single mother but Ma was always there to help, even if sometimes it seemed she was taking over. After 20 years, Kira(for short) realized that things were not changing, no one was listening to her. She was put in charge, but only if she did what everybody else wanted. It became a burden and once again, she felt she must leave. This is a good memoir for teens and older. A look into another life few know about, but judge most often negatively .
A woman raised to worship a guru,Ma. To believe in the teachings that will bring her closer to her God. She left and ventured out when she was young, experienced a different life with psychedelics, living the life as a hippie and became the mom of two. She soon realized she needed her ashum back to help her raise her boys, she could not do without her family, without Ma. She faced many challenges as a single mother but Ma was always there to help, even if sometimes it seemed she was taking over. After 20 years, Kira(for short) realized that things were not changing, no one was listening to her. She was put in charge, but only if she did what everybody else wanted. It became a burden and once again, she felt she must leave. This is a good memoir for teens and older. A look into another life few know about, but judge most often negatively .
May 9, 2026
An Awakening Memoir
Priya Hutner's memoir, CHASING A NIRVANA: A Seeker’s Story of Love, Loss, and Liberation is a deep reflection of how she unknowingly became a follower of a female guru-led religious cult only to discover the truth that it was a bondage and quit. The author tells the story genuinely as if looking at her life through a mirror.
The reader easily connects with the memoir through Priya's honest and sincere recollection of what began earlier in her childhood years as a journey of seeking spiritual enlightenment. The best thing about the book is that the author sensitizes the reader about inauthentic and manipulative religion through her journey especially at a time when such cults are common. Also, her resilience and courage to break free from the cult are encouraging.
Priya Hutner's memoir, CHASING A NIRVANA: A Seeker’s Story of Love, Loss, and Liberation is a deep reflection of how she unknowingly became a follower of a female guru-led religious cult only to discover the truth that it was a bondage and quit. The author tells the story genuinely as if looking at her life through a mirror.
The reader easily connects with the memoir through Priya's honest and sincere recollection of what began earlier in her childhood years as a journey of seeking spiritual enlightenment. The best thing about the book is that the author sensitizes the reader about inauthentic and manipulative religion through her journey especially at a time when such cults are common. Also, her resilience and courage to break free from the cult are encouraging.
May 13, 2026
PRIYA HUTNER describes being born into a cult and how she managed to free herself from it. Her candid and honest narration of what she went through makes reading this book very interesting and quite a page turner.
Ever since she was born her parents taught her that life in the cult was normal, from moving from one place to another to following every order that Ma gave them. The author has described the different things she had to go through because her parents were deeply immersed in a cult, this led to her keeping company with her peers who influenced her into doing questionable things as a minor.
This memoir captures well the kind of grip a cult can have on a person and how challenging it would be to leave. But above all courage is what the author needed to walk away from it all.
Ever since she was born her parents taught her that life in the cult was normal, from moving from one place to another to following every order that Ma gave them. The author has described the different things she had to go through because her parents were deeply immersed in a cult, this led to her keeping company with her peers who influenced her into doing questionable things as a minor.
This memoir captures well the kind of grip a cult can have on a person and how challenging it would be to leave. But above all courage is what the author needed to walk away from it all.
June 28, 2026
Chasing Nirvana is a strongly and deeply personal memoir that explores grief, love, and the lifelong search for meaning with honesty and vulnerability. Priya Hutner doesn't present herself as someone with all the answers ready; she rather invites readers into the messy, nonlinear process of healing and spiritual discovery.
What I enjoyed most was how balanced the flow of the book felt. It touches on meditation, mindfulness, and Eastern philosophy without being too preachy, keeping the focus on the human emotions behind the journey of self-discovery. The writing is reflective and heartfelt, with several passages that made me want to pause and think about my own feelings and emotions connected with loss, purpose, and acceptance. A moving memoir that offers comfort without making light of healing or have it sound like it is simple.
What I enjoyed most was how balanced the flow of the book felt. It touches on meditation, mindfulness, and Eastern philosophy without being too preachy, keeping the focus on the human emotions behind the journey of self-discovery. The writing is reflective and heartfelt, with several passages that made me want to pause and think about my own feelings and emotions connected with loss, purpose, and acceptance. A moving memoir that offers comfort without making light of healing or have it sound like it is simple.
June 30, 2026
Perhaps it's because I am not familiar with gurus, asrams and the people who follow the lifestyle and beliefs of those described by the author in her memoir, that I found the book heavy going for more than half of the book. I feel like the book could've been more tightly edited as I kept waiting for something more exciting to happen. Thankfully it did and when it did, the story became rather riveting, as Priya disclosed just how difficult it was to tear herself away from the narcissistic, self-preoccupied guru of the cult. The "breakup" was not unlike a breakup between lovers in a bad relationship. I am glad Priya found the courage to choose freedom over servitude to a leader whose only real interest and love was herself. A good read for all who are intrigued by the hold that cults have over those who fall prey to their promises.
July 14, 2026
CHASING NIRVANA isn't the cult story I expected. Priya Hutner writes about joining Ma's group at eighteen, and instead of framing herself as just a victim looking back, she lets you feel why it made sense at the time — a hard childhood, a need to belong, a leader who made her feel seen. That honesty is what makes the book work. She highlights both the positives and negatives about the community. Most memoirs like this pick a side. This one just tells the truth.
My main complaint is that it jumps around a lot — so many different people and moments that I sometimes lost track of the timeline. A tighter structure would've made the story easier to follow.
Still, it's a book that sticks with you. Honest, uncomfortable in the right ways, and worth reading if you're curious about how people end up in situations like this.
My main complaint is that it jumps around a lot — so many different people and moments that I sometimes lost track of the timeline. A tighter structure would've made the story easier to follow.
Still, it's a book that sticks with you. Honest, uncomfortable in the right ways, and worth reading if you're curious about how people end up in situations like this.
December 21, 2025
I was lucky enough to be gifted an ARC of this incredible memoir by the author! It is a vulnerable and bold telling of stories that feel like they've been waiting decades to be released.
Chasing Nirvana beckons us inside the incense-filled ashram, to sit at the feet of “Ma”—a diet-obsessed guru in red plaid and gold bangles who is both evangelical pastor and charismatic MLM leader. After decades of secrets and sacrifice, Priya tells tough truths about the ritual de lo habitual of life in a cult. Realizing Ma’s insatiable appetite for devotion is starving those around her of their own happiness, Priya makes the impossible choice to chase her own Nirvana.
LOVED this book and applaud the author for her courage.
Chasing Nirvana beckons us inside the incense-filled ashram, to sit at the feet of “Ma”—a diet-obsessed guru in red plaid and gold bangles who is both evangelical pastor and charismatic MLM leader. After decades of secrets and sacrifice, Priya tells tough truths about the ritual de lo habitual of life in a cult. Realizing Ma’s insatiable appetite for devotion is starving those around her of their own happiness, Priya makes the impossible choice to chase her own Nirvana.
LOVED this book and applaud the author for her courage.
April 9, 2026
A brave and beautiful reckoning—Priya Hutner has written something rare — a memoir that is both unflinching and deeply compassionate. Chasing Nirvana takes you inside a world most of us will never encounter, yet the emotional truth at its core is utterly universal: the hunger for meaning, and the courage it takes to reclaim yourself when that search goes wrong. Priya's voice is honest, vulnerable, and ultimately triumphant. Readers who loved Educated or Uncultured will find a kindred spirit here — a woman who had to lose everything she believed in order to find out who she truly was.
This is a story about blind faith, yes, but more than anything, it's about freedom. It's a page turner. I read it in one sitting!
This is a story about blind faith, yes, but more than anything, it's about freedom. It's a page turner. I read it in one sitting!
July 11, 2026
Priya encompassed all the conflicting emotions of having lost one's critical thinking skills only to regain them and freedom while working through intense emotional confusion and attachment. It's a story about hope and one woman's finding her way back and reclaiming her true identity. It's more than a spiritual journey. It's a story of Priya's journey with the ashram community and a controlling guru. The way Priya lays it out is by writing her truth in a style and way that bears her soul and telling of how she was held captive by beliefs of a cult and the path to truth and freedom. A Powerful story to help us understand cults and how they succeed and gain followers. Kudos to Hutner for sharing.
March 26, 2026
Chasing Nirvana caught me from the first moment's with its description of the goddess Kali's strange, almost cult-like practices. I had never heard of this particular cult before, and Hutner opened my eyes to a whole new world I would never believe existed in central Florida.
I generally tend to enjoy memoir's like this one, but Hutner's story is particularly compelling. She brought to light a unique guru culture I never knew existed, and her story typified how difficult it can be to escape these false beliefs without anything else to cling to. Hutner presents an honest, brutal reality detaching herself from the ashram, and I couldn't stop turning the pages. It's incredible!
I generally tend to enjoy memoir's like this one, but Hutner's story is particularly compelling. She brought to light a unique guru culture I never knew existed, and her story typified how difficult it can be to escape these false beliefs without anything else to cling to. Hutner presents an honest, brutal reality detaching herself from the ashram, and I couldn't stop turning the pages. It's incredible!
April 12, 2026
This memoir is so courageously candid and eye opening!
You can't know someone's story until its all down in print.
I have known Priya in her post ashram life and while I was aware of some of the stories from her life personally and in the ashram- I wasn't prepared for this! It's so authentically her voice.
I appreciated not knowing the bigger machinations and structure of the actual organization- just her experience within it and how each individuals experience of the same thing can vary so widely.
I couldn't put it down.
It is such a compelling story about loyalty, love, strength --- and the ability to walk away and the courage to start again!
Highly recommend!!!!
You can't know someone's story until its all down in print.
I have known Priya in her post ashram life and while I was aware of some of the stories from her life personally and in the ashram- I wasn't prepared for this! It's so authentically her voice.
I appreciated not knowing the bigger machinations and structure of the actual organization- just her experience within it and how each individuals experience of the same thing can vary so widely.
I couldn't put it down.
It is such a compelling story about loyalty, love, strength --- and the ability to walk away and the courage to start again!
Highly recommend!!!!
April 23, 2026
Chasing Nirvana is a memoir that draws you in slowly and then keeps you hooked until the end. From the first pages, I was completely absorbed in Priya Hutner’s journey.
This book stands out because it feels very real. Priya does not just tell her story. She makes you feel as though you are living it with her. Her writing is honest, direct, and often feels like a casual conversation. It is as if she is sitting right in front of you and sharing moments from her life. There is also some humor in the book, which balances out the heavier topics. This makes the whole reading experience feel more personal and human.
This book stands out because it feels very real. Priya does not just tell her story. She makes you feel as though you are living it with her. Her writing is honest, direct, and often feels like a casual conversation. It is as if she is sitting right in front of you and sharing moments from her life. There is also some humor in the book, which balances out the heavier topics. This makes the whole reading experience feel more personal and human.
April 28, 2026
A unique and authentic story about one womans experience as a leader and member of a religous cult. A fascinating story about her relationship with an enigmantic leader who inspired deep loyalty , but a leader who was also human, with human flaws.. Even though I have never been in a religious cult, the story very much inspires one to reflect on our own relationships and how others (family, influencers, chosen community) impact how we think and our decisions. We are all seeking the same thing on a deep level (belonging, purpose, enlightenment) , and you start to see 'cults' are everywhere. Story is entertaining and keeps you reading until the end.
May 13, 2026
This is a well-written, honest memoir of the author's experience in a religious cult. Priya did not stand a chance, as she was born to parents who followed the religious cult lifestyle. Her childhood was not normal, as she experienced things a child should not. Her parents did not really show up in the way parents should, with the boundaries and presence children need.
I liked that the author was honest about her struggles within the cult. It took her some time to make the decision to find more from life outside of all she had known, but she eventually took the step.
I liked that the author was honest about her struggles within the cult. It took her some time to make the decision to find more from life outside of all she had known, but she eventually took the step.
March 9, 2026
A little repetitive (especially toward the end) but wow! This story. If, like myself, you are a consumer of books and docuseries covering ANY & ALL cults and cult like things... GET YOUR RED STRING OUT! There was a LOT of crossover in here.
I am a fan of yoga and I am learning to focus on my breathwork (you know aging, stress, general wellbeing), but it is a fine line between taking care of yourself and following a false guru. As they say, buyer beware!
I am a fan of yoga and I am learning to focus on my breathwork (you know aging, stress, general wellbeing), but it is a fine line between taking care of yourself and following a false guru. As they say, buyer beware!
March 23, 2026
Reading this book transported me immediately. Priya Hunter developed the imagery in this book so perfectly that I felt like I was right along for the ride with her. Even though there were some parts that were a little tricky to transition, I still enjoyed the experience of reading this book. If you're in need of a book full of wisdom, fulfillment, and life changing experiences, I highly recommend this book.
June 2, 2026
Chasing Nirvana is a really intense memoir about a woman who spent twenty years trapped in a spiritual cult. It shows how a scary leader can completely take over your life and control your family. The author goes through so much toxic drama while trying to protect her kids from the guru. It is a very heavy and eye opening look at how mind control works in real life. Her fight to escape and get her freedom back is super inspiring.
July 8, 2026
This is an amazing story of a life long journey of enlightenment and how one woman escaped the chains that bound her for most of her life. The author takes the reader on the journey with her from childhood through adulthood as she and her family become part of a spiritual organization and how that plays out through the decades.
This is a great book for those who like tales of survival and true stories
This is a great book for those who like tales of survival and true stories
July 10, 2026
Priya!!! This BOOK. What an experience—and an intimate one, operations and all—with a cult. I felt like I knew Ma myself, and found her as alluring as many others clearly did. Priya did such a great job immersing the reader into the ashram, as well as walking the line between Ma as a spiritual guru but also as a controlling presence who impacted a lot of people’s wellbeing.
Priya, you killed it. So proud of you.
Priya, you killed it. So proud of you.
March 11, 2026
I finished the book a few nights ago and was left in awe of Priya’s bravery and vulnerability throughout the story. She shares real emotion and vivid recollections of her time spent in the ashram under the guru Ma. Each chapter reveals deeper truths about her journey and the experiences that shaped who she is today, ultimately leading her to become the remarkable woman we know.
March 29, 2026
In CHASING NIRVANA: A Seeker’s Story of Love, Loss, and Liberation, Priya Hutner offers a deeply personal memoir about her journey into, and eventual escape from, a spiritual community led by a charismatic female guru. What begins as a search for enlightenment slowly transforms into a story of manipulation, devotion, and the difficult process of reclaiming personal independence.
Hutner recounts how she became involved in the ashram at a young age, drawn in by promises of spiritual awakening and a sense of belonging. Over time, she becomes deeply embedded in the community, eventually taking on significant responsibilities within the guru’s inner circle. As the years pass, however, the spiritual ideals she once believed in begin to clash with the restrictive and controlling environment surrounding the group.
One of the memoir’s strongest elements is the author’s honesty. Hutner reflects openly on the emotional and psychological hold the community had on her, allowing readers to see both the appeal and the danger of such environments. Her journey toward independence and self-discovery becomes the emotional heart of the book.
While the story is sometimes difficult and heavy due to its subject matter, it ultimately becomes a powerful narrative about resilience, personal awakening, and the courage required to walk away from a life built on unquestioned belief.
Hutner recounts how she became involved in the ashram at a young age, drawn in by promises of spiritual awakening and a sense of belonging. Over time, she becomes deeply embedded in the community, eventually taking on significant responsibilities within the guru’s inner circle. As the years pass, however, the spiritual ideals she once believed in begin to clash with the restrictive and controlling environment surrounding the group.
One of the memoir’s strongest elements is the author’s honesty. Hutner reflects openly on the emotional and psychological hold the community had on her, allowing readers to see both the appeal and the danger of such environments. Her journey toward independence and self-discovery becomes the emotional heart of the book.
While the story is sometimes difficult and heavy due to its subject matter, it ultimately becomes a powerful narrative about resilience, personal awakening, and the courage required to walk away from a life built on unquestioned belief.
July 2, 2026
Chasing Nirvana is a courageous and compelling memoir that explores the universal search for belonging, meaning, and ultimately, personal freedom. Priya Hutner tells her extraordinary story with honesty, vulnerability, and grace, reminding readers that true liberation begins when we reclaim our own voice. An unforgettable journey of resilience and self-discovery.
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