Chasing Nirvana: A Story of Love, Loss, and Liberation

by Priya Hutner

For fans of Daniella Mestyanek Young’s Uncultured and Tara Westover’s Educated, one woman’s gripping firsthand account of falling into—and eventually escaping—a female guru–led cult as she seeks her own personal awakening.

Growing up under the sway of a Brooklyn housewife turned guru, Priya Hutner is drawn into a world shaped by bizarre rituals, spiritual promises, and oppressive beliefs. What begins as a quest for enlightenment unravels into a stifling reality as the boundaries between spiritual devotion and control blur—and as Priya becomes an integral part of the ashram community, sharing the guru’s teachings, she becomes further entangled in a web of spiritual control and manipulation.

In this deeply personal memoir, Priya shares her struggle to break free from her guru and the cult-like grip to which she falls prey. Priya’s traumatic escape from the community marks a profound turning point as she regains personal power, rediscovers herself, and achieves true liberation in the process. 

A spiritual adventure story and a cautionary tale, Chasing Nirvana is a story of love, heartbreak, and redemption that offers a powerful reflection on the perils of blind faith and the beauty of reclaiming one’s life on one’s own terms. Priya’s story is a testament to the human spirit’s capacity for resilience, self-discovery, and freedom from the bondage of belief.

Genres: Cults

356 pages, Paperback

Expected publication March 3, 2026

Reviews

[Kristen Reiter · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. Priya’s storytelling is raw, honest, and deeply captivating, and her bravery inspired me to stay true to my heart even when that truth shifts or gets hard. As a spiritual seeker, I saw myself in her search for meaning and was pulled into her journey inside a charismatic, cult-like ashram—its rituals, hierarchy, and the slow unraveling of illusion. Her awakening and ultimate decision to leave are told with clarity and courage, and I found myself rooting for her the whole way. This thoughtful, compelling memoir is a must-read for anyone drawn to spirituality, self-discovery, or the resilience it takes to reclaim your life.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to get an advanced readers copy of this wonderful book. Chasing Nirvana: A Seeker's Story of Love, Loss and Liberation, written by Priya Hutner, the former CEO and advisor to the guru of an ashram, is a compelling memoir. We follow the author on an unforgettable journey as she becomes entrenched in a cult-like spiritual community, and increasingly, becomes disillusioned by it.

As someone who has always been fascinated by spiritual communities, I learned so much about the rituals, rules, beliefs, and hierarchies within this ashram. I held my breath as Priya was being manipulated by a charismatic but deeply flawed guru. The tension builds as she begins to question everything she's devoted herself to while contemplating leaving the ashram. The internal struggle is palpable, and I found myself rooting for her when she finally makes her exit. Her resilience is truly inspiring. (Also, the chapters being named after songs? Brilliant touch.)

The author is remarkably honest about the dysfunction within the community, and her bravery in telling this story shines through every page. The story is well-written and thoughtful, never melodramatic, just truthful.

This book answers critical questions: How does one get involved in such a community? How do participants feel (manipulated? content?)? Are they free to leave? What happens if they try? Yet, I was left with unanswered questions as well. What happened next? How did Priya heal? Does she regret those years? What does she think of her guru now? Is she worried about current members reading this? Does she consider it a cult? My curiosity is thoroughly piqued, and I hope there will be a second book focusing on the new life she created in her forties.

This brave, honest, and utterly compelling memoir is essential reading for anyone interested in cult-like communities, self-discovery, spirituality, and transcending challenging life experiences.

[Bridey Thelen-Heidel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to be gifted an ARC of this incredible memoir by the author! It is a vulnerable and bold telling of stories that feel like they've been waiting decades to be released.
Chasing Nirvana beckons us inside the incense-filled ashram, to sit at the feet of “Ma”—a diet-obsessed guru in red plaid and gold bangles who is both evangelical pastor and charismatic MLM leader. After decades of secrets and sacrifice, Priya tells tough truths about the ritual de lo habitual of life in a cult. Realizing Ma’s insatiable appetite for devotion is starving those around her of their own happiness, Priya makes the impossible choice to chase her own Nirvana.
LOVED this book and applaud the author for her courage.