This book, and the philosophy behind it, are incredible! The cards Mr. Callaghan has been dealt are more than any one person should have to play.
I love that, through his battles, he continues to find the means to "Connect", not only with Emma, but with the world. Mr. Callaghan is clearly aware that what started out simply as fatherly love has morphed into so much more. He is encouraging the world to "Pack. Write. Connect."
The book dedication sums up the love of a parent: "To Emma 826 napkins will never be enough". It fully encompasses a parent's love; nothing we do for our children will ever seem enough.
So many of the quotes on the Napkin Notes resonate with me.
"Be brave." - always
"Sometimes when I need a miracle, I look into your eyes and realize I've already created one." - most definitely how I feel about my children
"Make sure your friends know how important they are to you." - sage advice, no matter our age
"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realize how special you are to me." - absolutely
"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." - unite
"Anyone who thinks that sunshine is pure happiness has never danced in the rain." - find the best in any situation
When I pondered the times the Callaghan family has had to encounter yet another diagnosis, I concluded that they are truly remarkable. Remarkable as a couple, remarkable as parent/child, and remarkable in their willingness to share their story. Through sharing, they are inspiring others to realize that even the grimmest of situations can lead to exceptional outcomes.
When Emma is told of the second diagnosis, I love her comment. "You deserve to be done with this" explains her frustration, fears, and love for her father.
Mr. Callaghan's strength is displayed in his personality. He decides to wear Star Wars t-shirts to his appointments so that he will stand out from the other patients, causing an awareness for the medical team to be connected to his battle. This awareness allows the medical relationship to become personal, to unite the team for battle. His presentation of a Star Wars action figure to one of his doctors displays Mr. Callaghan's need for those involved to fully buy in to the team. It was an incredible idea.
At the moment when this father realizes the importance of the Napkin Notes to his daughter by her simple question of "Napkin Note?", I can only imagine how surreal that must have been. To know that these seemingly small gestures have such a profound impact had to have been sheer elation.
There are some dialogues in the book that touched me on a personal level. The conversation with Lissa where he tells her she didn't sign up for this and Lissa replies, "Yes I did...It was in the vows." hit me like a wall. My mother told me this once when I questioned why she remained with my father through many years of his uncontrolled mental illness: "I said vows." Devotion at its finest.
The conversation with Father Dan when they discuss that it's okay to be angry with God reminds me of the sermon at my mother's funeral. Father David relayed this same message, that it is okay to be angry with God when someone is taken from us at age 59. Be angry, deal with that anger, and then move past it. God can handle it.
Intertwining the Life List for Emma throughout the book adds another perspective. The Napkin Notes are a daily connection and will be treasured by Emma for a lifetime. The Life List is a summation of the daily notes.
Throughout the years, I have connected with my husband, my children, and other loved ones using different avenues. I will leave a hidden note for my husband in his lunch (which he packs!), in among his clothes laid out for the next day, or under his pillow when I am going to be away from home that night. With my children, I did include a note in their lunches from time to time. For quite some time when they were teenagers, I texted them with inspirational quotes or messages to start off their school day. Recently, I have been mailing cards to my daughter to encourage her with her university studies.
Mr. Callaghan's lifelines are as they should be, those dearest to him.
I pray Mr. Callaghan will experience the Epilogue.