Shadow of a Survivor

by John Walker Pattison

194 pages, Paperback

Published June 20, 2025

About the author

John Walker Pattison's life is a testament to resilience, passion, and the power of dreams. Born 1957, in the coastal town of South Shields, his early years were marked more by mischief than academic prowess.

He started working life in a local shipyard until the spectre of cancer gripped his future in a deathly stranglehold—a diagnosis doctors believed he would not survive.

Today, over fifty-years later, he is humbled to be one of the UK's longest cancer survivors.

Yet eight years after his unexpected recovery - his four-year-old daughter is diagnosed with terminal leukaemia.

He went on to become a cancer nurse consultant, at the very hospital that made his diagnosis, almost fifty years ago.

He retired from his nursing post, partially due to chronic illnesses as a consequence of the salubrious chemotherapy and radiotherapy he received decades ago.

Now retired, Pattison has swapped his stethoscope for a pen.

Today, he is once again facing a cancer battle, but is determined to fight and continue his travels to America, the country that captured his heart.

Curious about my journey? Then let's connect...

Reviews

[Carolina Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review — Shadow of a Survivor by John Walker Pattison | Rating: ★★★★★

“Lessons from the Edge of Life”
This book shook something inside me. John takes you through every emotion—anger, fear, gratitude, and peace—and somehow makes them all connect. I admired how he didn’t let bitterness consume him even after so much pain. His resilience gave me chills. It’s one of those rare books that you don’t just read; you feel it. I kept thinking about my own life and how easily we complain about small things. John’s story reminded me that even in suffering, there’s a chance to find purpose. Truly inspiring.

[Kevin Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the hardest moments for me to read was when John discovered the truth about his diagnosis on his own. That betrayal, the confusion, and the heartbreak—it felt so real. I could almost feel his parents’ love but also their fear. The honesty in that chapter hit home because it shows that love isn’t always about protection; sometimes it’s about truth. I found myself imagining how I’d feel in his place, and it broke me a little. This book made me appreciate honesty and communication in ways I never had before. It’s powerful, emotional, and deeply human.

[Bell Bultel · Rating 5 out of 5]

What stands out about this memoir is how gracefully it’s written. Despite the pain, there’s hope on every page. John has this gentle way of showing that survival isn’t about defeating death—it’s about embracing life. His reflections fifty years later are full of wisdom, and I found myself rereading certain lines to really let them sink in. There’s a sense of peace that only comes after great suffering, and he captures that beautifully. This isn’t just a story about surviving cancer—it’s a life lesson told through lived experience. I felt uplifted after finishing it.

[VAURENTAYLOR · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t expect music to play such a powerful role in a memoir about illness, but John’s love for Hawkwind adds such an emotional rhythm to the book. His memories of concerts, his connection to sound, and how music kept him sane through chaos—it was beautiful to read. I related deeply because I’ve also turned to music when words failed me. The way John uses music as both a distraction and a healing force made me realize how art can carry us through the darkest hours. This book isn’t just about cancer—it’s about how the human spirit finds little sparks of light even when surrounded by darkness.

[Lily Thomass · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I loved most about this book was how raw and truthful it felt. There’s no sugarcoating, no overdramatic language—just pure honesty. John talks about his younger days, his dreams, and how illness shattered them, yet he finds a way to rebuild. I found myself tearing up at certain parts, especially when he described the mental exhaustion that came with each hospital visit. His courage doesn’t scream—it whispers through quiet determination. The compassion he developed over time made me rethink how I see people who’ve faced illness. It’s a powerful, humbling read that stays with you long after the last page.

[Sakshi Sharma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes a story comes along that makes you stop and think about the purpose of life. This one did that for me. John’s belief in fate, his acceptance of suffering, and his calm understanding of mortality were inspiring. It wasn’t just about survival—it was about discovering meaning in the middle of chaos. I admired how he talked about faith without preaching, and how he turned his pain into something deeply reflective. Reading his reflections made me realize that our hardest battles can become our greatest teachers. This book left me feeling strangely peaceful, as if I too had learned to accept life’s unpredictability.

[Antonias S · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Walker Pattison's "Shadow of a Survivor" is a profoundly moving memoir that transcends the typical cancer survival story. Diagnosed at 18 with a terminal prognosis, Pattison's eight year fight against failed treatments is raw and unflinching, yet infused with unyielding hope. The heart wrenching twist of his young daughter's leukaemia diagnosis adds layers of emotional depth, highlighting the fragility of life and the strength found in adversity. As a senior cancer nurse, his return to the hospital symbolizes a full circle triumph, blending personal pain with professional purpose. From rock stages to Lakota Sioux lands, his adventures underscore themes of resilience and spiritual growth. Fifty years later, this award winning chronicle inspires readers to embrace the human spirit's boundless potential. A must read for anyone seeking motivation amid hardship.

[Crystal B · Rating 5 out of 5]

In "Shadow of a Survivor," John Walker Pattison delivers an intimate, award-winning account of defying death twice over first his own cancer at 18, then his daughter's terminal leukaemia. The narrative pulses with authenticity, detailing the agony of failed therapies and the quiet victories of perseverance. What elevates this memoir is Pattison's transformation: from patient to healer, now a senior cancer nurse specialist guiding others through similar shadows. His life's tapestry, woven with rock festival highs and sacred journeys to the Lakota Sioux Nation, reflects a profound faith and unbreakable will. As one of the UK's longest survivors after 50 years, Pattison's story is a beacon of hope, reminding us that survival isn't just enduring it's evolving. Thoughtful and engaging, it's essential reading for those touched by illness or seeking tales of true grit.

[Abhi Thakur · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read many stories about survival, but this one felt different. John Walker Pattison doesn’t just talk about cancer—he makes you feel the weight of every emotion that comes with it. From confusion and fear to gratitude and reflection, his words pierce straight through. I could sense his exhaustion, his hope, and the quiet moments when life felt too heavy to carry. What amazed me most was how he found strength in acceptance. He doesn’t pretend to be a hero; he’s just a human being who kept walking through the storm. The way he writes about fate, family, and faith left me emotional. By the end, I wasn’t just reading his story—I was reflecting on my own. It’s rare for a memoir to feel this honest and soulful.

[Ansika Tiwari · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a deep, emotional journey that grips your heart right from the first chapter. I could feel John’s fear and confusion when the doctors didn’t have answers, and later, his quiet acceptance when he finally learned the truth. The honesty in his storytelling is what stayed with me. He admits his moments of weakness and despair but somehow turns them into strength. The most beautiful part is how he never loses his humanity—not even when his body was breaking down. His words reminded me that courage isn’t about being fearless; it’s about moving forward despite the fear. I felt every heartbeat of this story, and it changed how I look at my own struggles.

[Linda Cooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

I went into this book expecting a story about illness, but what I got was a lesson in life. John’s journey from a carefree teenager to a thoughtful, resilient adult is written with warmth and honesty. I loved how he showed both his vulnerable side and his strength. His words felt like a conversation rather than a story. It reminded me how fragile health is, yet how strong the human spirit can be. Every chapter made me pause and reflect on what truly matters—family, time, and gratitude. This book feels like a companion for anyone going through hard times.

[Fannie Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is raw. It's real. From the first chapter, I knew John wasn't just telling a story — he was opening his soul. His descriptions of youth, love, music, and illness made me laugh, cry, and reflect. Especially moving were the scenes with Nurse Syd — that one moment may have saved John's life and, through this book, countless others too. If you’ve ever felt broken, this book will piece you back together.

[Thomas D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who lost a sibling to leukemia, this memoir hit hard. John's reflection on his daughter Donna Julie and his own experiences as both a patient and a parent were profoundly touching. You can feel every ache, every victory. His story is not just about survival — it’s about becoming. I recommend this book to every healthcare professional and caregiver. Read this to remember why you do what you do.

[Anthony Aragon · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Pattison’s story is more than survival—it's a symphony of resilience, raw vulnerability, and the unexpected poetry of suffering. From the boy mesmerized by Hawkwind’s space rock to the man who faced cancer not once, but repeatedly, this book moved me in ways few memoirs ever have. His honesty about depression, suicidal thoughts, and the support of people like Nurse Syd brought me to tears. I recommend this to anyone searching for light in their own darkness. This book heals.

[Joel Rivera]

Pattison's journey from the shipyards of Tyneside to the edge of death and back is recounted with wit, heartbreak, and profound introspection. His recounting of chemotherapy, physical disintegration, and emotional trauma is both gut-wrenching and inspiring. I laughed at his early Hawkwind escapades and cried at the scenes with his daughter. Read this not just to understand cancer—but to understand the fragile miracle of living

[Mark Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

The emotional depth of this book is beyond words. I could see the hospital walls, feel the isolation, and sense the quiet prayers behind each line. But what amazed me most was how John didn’t lose his light. Even when he spoke about death, it wasn’t with fear but acceptance. His ability to turn pain into purpose inspired me deeply. This is not a sad story—it’s a hopeful one. It shows how a human being can walk through darkness and still find beauty in the smallest things.

[Inkspire · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Walker Pattison’s memoir is powerful, heartfelt, and deeply inspiring. His journey from facing a terminal cancer diagnosis at eighteen to later confronting his daughter’s illness, shows a level of resilience that is truly remarkable. What moved me most is how he transformed his pain into purpose, returning as a senior cancer nurse to help others on the same path. This book is honest, emotional, and a beautiful reminder of the strength of the human spirit. A truly uplifting read.

[Frederick T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did not expect to laugh so much. John’s tales of chasing Hawkwind around the UK, drunken nights as a teen, and his hilarious shipyard anecdotes made me feel like I was part of his world. Then suddenly, he draws you into the abyss of chemotherapy and uncertainty. The contrast is masterful. It's like life — funny, brutal, beautiful. Bravo, John. You survived twice: cancer and adolescence!

[Gary W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

There were moments I had to close the book and breathe. John's near-suicidal lows were described with such painful honesty. But his comeback, fueled by music, a stubborn nurse, and love — wow. This isn’t just a cancer story. It's for anyone facing trauma, grief, or feeling like giving up. Read this. Then read it again.

[Brain L.]

As a cancer nurse myself, I’ve read dozens of survivor stories. But none have stayed with me like Shadow of a Survivor. John’s ability to articulate what patients often can’t — the fog, the fear, the loneliness — is extraordinary. He honors every patient he’s ever cared for by writing this. And every professional would benefit from seeing cancer through this lens.

[Katherine Tenorio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who knew Hawkwind and cancer could co-exist so powerfully in one book? The soundtrack of Pattison’s youth accompanies his descent into illness and his triumphant rebirth. The chapter “It’s Only Rock and Roll” should be mandatory reading for every teen who thinks they’re invincible. This book is a love letter to life, even when life is painful and unfair. I was inspired. Deeply.

[Joseph Payne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many books end with survival. Pattison begins there. His reflections on long-term effects of chemotherapy, emotional scars, and his work in oncology show that survivorship is complex, ongoing, and full of purpose. His career switch from welder to nurse wasn’t just career rehab—it was soul work. A deeply educational and personal read

[Lois Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

By the end of the book, I didn’t just admire the author—I loved him. I wanted to shake his hand, thank him, and tell him how much his courage means to readers like me. The way he honors his wife June, his grandchildren, and even his younger self—flawed, scared, rebellious—is deeply moving. This isn’t a story about cancer. It’s a story about life, and how damn beautiful it still is.