Consumer Joe: Harassing Corporate America, One Letter at a Time

by Paul Davidson

In the bestselling tradition of The Lazlow Letters and Letters from a Nut, screenwriter Paul Davidson has been firing off humble but humorous letters to Fortune 500 companies to find answers to such hot-button questions like why hasn’t Minute Maid begun to sell an all pulp, juice-free product yet, and whether it’s safe to microwave a bowl of Marshmallow Fluff on high for ten minutes. And the funny thing is . . . consumer-care departments everywhere have been writing back to him, addressing his queries with deadpan seriousness.

Collecting dozens of selections from Davidson’s funniest correspondence, Consumer Joe uncovers why a box of fifty envelopes only contained forty-seven and how colorblind people are supposed to tell whether their Ziploc baggies (“yellow and blue makes green”) are properly sealed, while making numerous product-improvement suggestions along the way (such as adding Tuna Melt flavor to the Jamba Juice product line).

Taking aim at the increasingly advertising-sponsored society, Consumer Joe features utterly absurd but irresistible missives to companies ranging from Barnes & Noble and Fed-Ex to Southwest Airlines and Taco Bell. Full of kvetches we all can relate to, Consumer Joe is poised to become the patron saint of every beleaguered shopper.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Business

212 pages, Paperback

First published September 9, 2003

About the author

Paul Davidson is an entertainment executive in Hollywood who also manages to find time to be a producer, screenwriter and four-time published author. Along the way he ran the digital entertainment division at a major tech company in Seattle whose name may or may not rhyme with Sycrosoft.

He lampooned corporate America in his first book Consumer Joe: Harassing Corporate America, One Letter at a Time and imagined what the world would have been like if historical figures had been able to blog in The Lost Blogs: From Jesus to Jim Morrison.

Most recently, he released his debut fiction novel The Small Stuff which Publisher’s Weekly called a “quirky debut rom-com” that was “sure to stick in readers’ minds.”

His writing has been featured in Wired, the Los Angeles Times and Mental Floss and he also hosts the film commentary podcast The Side Track.

Paul lives in Los Angeles with his wife, two daughters and an emotionally needy dog.

Reviews

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A clever concept, and written by my husband's cousin's husband. Funny stuff!

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a collection of Davidson's letters to various companies and their responses. His letters are humorous and filled with the type of questions one eventually hears more than once after a stint in the customer service field. What is most interesting, and amusing, are the companies that respond with more than a form letter filled out from a template. The companies that respond in a more personal manner that show a human actually wrote the letter are often just as funny as the ones Davidson sends to them.

[Ericka · Rating 3 out of 5]

Davison isn't afraid to ask the hard hitting questions such as, if Jamba juice markets soccer field flavored wheat grass shots then why haven't they produced tuna smoothies yet? You'll fall in love with his outrageous scenarios and even more in love with the companies that reply to him sincerely, but also have fun with it. The entire book is simply in the format of 1-2 page business complaint letters.

[Brittany · Rating 3 out of 5]

NOTE: I read the Kindle edition of this book, not the paperback.

This is exactly the kind of book you want to have handy when you're pressed for time but need a little pick-me-up. While some of the letters lack substance, the majority are very funny. My favorite thing about this book, though, was comparing the customer service departments of various corporations. A few of these companies have a little more respect from me as a result of their responses to Davidson.

[Marci Stone · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a hilarious book about the complaint letters that one man has written to a variety of companies about their products. In some cases consumer Joe received responses from the companies and he publishes them in this book. His quick wit and creative ideas prompt many of the companies to respond to him. He's also received quite a few free products as a result of his letters. It also seems that some of the companies are quite amused by his inquisitive mind.

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

It had some times where I laughed out loud. Guy should will his brain to science. It is just good for laughs however it could make you read more labels and question some products. Thanks for the laughs

[Krista · Rating 4 out of 5]

Obviously hysterical because my sister gave it to me.