This Is Not About Running: A Memoir

by Mary Cain

By one of the fastest runners of her generation, an affecting, brutally honest memoir of elite sports gone wrong—and a clear-eyed call for how parents, coaches, and young athletes themselves can build a healthier youth sports culture.

Few women have ever run 800 meters in under two minutes. Even fewer people have taken on running’s abusive training culture and won. Mary Cain has done both.

She emerged as a running phenom at age 12, a straight-A student obsessed with Greco-Roman mythology and the freedom she felt when she ran fast. Like any middle-schooler, she just wanted to fit in, so she learned to run through the discomfort of hard training sessions, and the confusion of her coaches’ and teammates’ bullying. And she was overjoyed when, at 16, Alberto Salazar called to invite her to train with the famed Nike Oregon Project.

Cain was poised to transform the sport, Salazar told her. She resolved to hold on to his favor, even as he insisted she lose weight and push through the pain of emerging injury. For years, she excelled, setting records against elite runners twice her age. The Olympics were in her sights.

But off the track, Cain was crumbling. She snuck granola bars in the middle of the night and sank into a deep depression as injury after injury set in. Finally, she left the Oregon Project, telling herself she just needed a break. A chorus rang out across the running  What happened to Mary Cain?

Now, with her suit against Nike behind her, Cain is ready to share her side of the story—and to flip the script on abuse in youth sports. She draws on her diaries from this wrenching period of abuse to show, with clarity we rarely see, how young minds respond to the win-at-all-costs culture that pervades youth sports today. By turns raw, wry, and impassioned, This Is Not About Running is a fierce memoir of the damage wrought when we prioritize competition over mental health. 

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Sports

336 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication April 28, 2026

Reviews

[kaitziez · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Abuse is quiet. Abuse is insidious. Abuse happens behind doors that stay closed too often. To stop abuse, safeguarding practices need to be put in place. Companies, schools, teams, brands, and so forth need to put their people first, before the vague concept of their brand name."

As someone who has experienced abuse in the sport of cross-country and track by my own coaches, I connected deeply with Cain's experience. There were many times where I wanted to give Cain a hug. She tells it like it is, no sugar-coating. The chapters of her describing the sport as cliquey, how girls will outcast other girls because one is better or a possible threat to be better, was something that made me think back to my high school days and realize how true it is.

Reading about when Cain was forced to increase her workload even though she was injured and everyone just saying it is because she's "weak" or "on her period" was both shocking that doctors and coaches said it, and also angrily hit close to home. Not everyone needs the same amount of running mileage, because not everyone's body is the same. I hope this memoir helps change the world.

What I loved most, though, was Cain's fearsomeness to call out Nike for what they have done, even after the lawsuit ended. I absolutely love that she stands by what she believes in. Cain is a force to be reckoned with -- and I can't wait to see where her medical journey takes her!

Thank you, Mariner Books, for providing me with this ARC. I am eternally grateful!

"I wrote my New York Times piece out of fear. But not fear for myself. And Nike did not seem to realize that I wasn't at all scared about coming forward. I was not scared to talk about my mental health. Not scared to talk about cutting myself. Not scared to talk about how they were culpable. I was not scared of Nike." -- #SLAY! You go girl!!
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pre-read:
as someone who also have experienced abuse from my college xc/tf coaches, i am an excited bean to read this 🤩 Mary Cain is an inspiration!

[Amy Neill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am completely gutted after reading this book.
In her memoir, "This Is Not About Running", elite distance runner Mary Cain shares her story. When Mary first reached the national stage as a young high school distance running star, her future looked bright and exciting. She left high school running early (we find out in the book was mostly due to the bullying and treatment she received by her school teammates and coaches) to run professionally. Things went horribly downhill from there. Mary bravely shares her story with brutal and heart breaking honesty.
The book begins with her middle school and high school years, and progresses chronologically. Mary's voice, as she tells the story in first person, is haunting, as she perfectly uses the voice that she was at each stage. When we read her thoughts and viewpoints of what is happening, we get amazing insight into how a young girl might process her coach's hurtful critique and accept what he, along with so-called doctors and psychologists are demanding of her. As horrifying and disgusting as it was to read about the
abuse and neglect from those entrusted to guide and support her, it broke my heart to see the many others surrounding her (teammates, competitors, other coaches, etc ) just watch on and do nothing.
This book is important. If you care at all about sports, young athletes, and fixing a broken system, this is a must read.
Thank you to NetGalley and Mariner Books for the advance read.

[Charlotte Gullion]

im sat.

[Kara| Bringing Back the Book · Rating 4 out of 5]

One thing about Mary Cain is that she is not afraid. She is not afraid of Nike. She is not afraid of dropping names. She is not afraid to tell her story. Cain goes into great detail of the bullying, mind games and abuse that she felt from coaches, parents and fellow runners along the rise of her career and what is painfully apparent throughout this book is how young she was when this was occurring. Instead of being protected by this sport as she should have been as a child she was used and abused by people wrongly in power. I am glad she was brave enough to tell us about it.

Thank you to the publisher for this ARC.

[Brittany Katz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book. Thank you Mary Cain for the brave, heartbreaking, honest recounting of your time as a high school and professional runner with Nike. The present tense form of the book is unique and adds such a touching perspective. It makes me want to reach through and give young Mary a big hug. 10/5 stars. 🫶🏼

[Janene Frank · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had a difficult time readig this book. It made me angry that the author endured what she did. I had no prior knowledge about the author, Mary; however, the more women I talk to about it in my running community, they knew of her and her plight. They have seen Nike trying to change their image and embrace women runners by hosting a big run this past summer that some participated in. I appreciated Mary's honest recount of her experience. I was angered by her fellow classmates who were brutal to her, and her manipulative coach. I thought it was an excellent account of how much still needs to be done to protect our talented youth athletes as they excel and reach for their dreams. I am thankful to Netgalley for the ARC. I thoroughly enjoyed this read and can not wait to recommend it to my running club's book club in 2026.

[Kelly smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely amazing and impactful book. The abuse was difficult to read about and I found myself getting emotional, so I had to take breaks every once in a while to absorb what I was reading, but I really think everyone should read this if they’re in a good headspace for it.

Mary’s story was so sad to read about, it seems like a lot of women coming out of Nike have similar poor experiences. It’s so disappointing that there’s not better oversight into how athletes, especially young female athletes, are treated. And everyone’s obsession with low weight really hits a nerve and pisses me off. It feels like we are starting to point in a direction where strong healthy bodies are celebrated instead of just being stick thin but I know there’s still a long way to go. I’m glad Mary was able to come back from this crazy shit and is doing better.

[Rory Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is insightful to see what’s “behind the curtain” in elite sport for girls and women and how even the best in sport can get the worst when it comes to sport experience, coaching, healthcare, and team dynamics. Moreover, Mary Cain gets vulnerable and real to help the reader (or at least me) better understand what change needs to occur to promote health and wellbeing as well as peak performance on an individual (athlete, teammate, parent, coach or other athlete support personnel, competitor, sponsorship contact, agent) and systems level. She openly shares her advocacy work interwoven with her healing process, illustrating the impact high profile athletes can make and the personal and professional cost that can result from this work. Must read for anyone involved or invested in sport.

[Chrissie]

ARC

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a casual runner, but I love following elite running as a sport. Mary Cain's memoir is a little bit around running but a lot about how we treat young, talented athletes (particularly female athletes) and the ways in which they are abused by coaches, systems, and armchair experts posting opinions online. Mary tells her story in short vignettes and it is compulsively readable. I found that I just kept turning the pages.

Thank you to NetGalley for sharing an ARC of this with me.

[Rhianna Hensler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full review will be posted closer to publication.

Enormous thank you to Mary Cain, the publisher, and NetGalley for an early copy of this story.