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This Is Not About Running: A Memoir
By one of the fastest runners of her generation, an affecting, brutally honest memoir of elite sports gone wrong—and a clear-eyed call for how parents, coaches, and young athletes themselves can build a healthier youth sports culture.
Few women have ever run 800 meters in under two minutes. Even fewer people have taken on running’s abusive training culture and won. Mary Cain has done both.
She emerged as a running phenom at age 12, a straight-A student obsessed with Greco-Roman mythology and the freedom she felt when she ran fast. Like any middle-schooler, she just wanted to fit in, so she learned to run through the discomfort of hard training sessions, and the confusion of her coaches’ and teammates’ bullying. And she was overjoyed when, at 16, Alberto Salazar called to invite her to train with the famed Nike Oregon Project.
Cain was poised to transform the sport, Salazar told her. She resolved to hold on to his favor, even as he insisted she lose weight and push through the pain of emerging injury. For years, she excelled, setting records against elite runners twice her age. The Olympics were in her sights.
But off the track, Cain was crumbling. She snuck granola bars in the middle of the night and sank into a deep depression as injury after injury set in. Finally, she left the Oregon Project, telling herself she just needed a break. A chorus rang out across the running What happened to Mary Cain?
Now, with her suit against Nike behind her, Cain is ready to share her side of the story—and to flip the script on abuse in youth sports. She draws on her diaries from this wrenching period of abuse to show, with clarity we rarely see, how young minds respond to the win-at-all-costs culture that pervades youth sports today. By turns raw, wry, and impassioned, This Is Not About Running is a fierce memoir of the damage wrought when we prioritize competition over mental health.
Few women have ever run 800 meters in under two minutes. Even fewer people have taken on running’s abusive training culture and won. Mary Cain has done both.
She emerged as a running phenom at age 12, a straight-A student obsessed with Greco-Roman mythology and the freedom she felt when she ran fast. Like any middle-schooler, she just wanted to fit in, so she learned to run through the discomfort of hard training sessions, and the confusion of her coaches’ and teammates’ bullying. And she was overjoyed when, at 16, Alberto Salazar called to invite her to train with the famed Nike Oregon Project.
Cain was poised to transform the sport, Salazar told her. She resolved to hold on to his favor, even as he insisted she lose weight and push through the pain of emerging injury. For years, she excelled, setting records against elite runners twice her age. The Olympics were in her sights.
But off the track, Cain was crumbling. She snuck granola bars in the middle of the night and sank into a deep depression as injury after injury set in. Finally, she left the Oregon Project, telling herself she just needed a break. A chorus rang out across the running What happened to Mary Cain?
Now, with her suit against Nike behind her, Cain is ready to share her side of the story—and to flip the script on abuse in youth sports. She draws on her diaries from this wrenching period of abuse to show, with clarity we rarely see, how young minds respond to the win-at-all-costs culture that pervades youth sports today. By turns raw, wry, and impassioned, This Is Not About Running is a fierce memoir of the damage wrought when we prioritize competition over mental health.
336 pages, Hardcover
Published April 28, 2026
309 people are currently reading
5312 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 85 reviews
April 30, 2026
Cain was born to run. At an age when most kids are groan to think about running the mile in PE, she was winning races and setting records—and not everybody was happy about it. There were the other teenagers who didn't like to see her succeeding when they were not, and more to the point there were the parents who didn't like to see her succeeding when their daughters were not. There were the online trolls convinced, even when she was in middle school, that she must be doing something illegal, or simply insulting her appearance (to...bring a literal child down a peg, I guess?). And then there were the coaches who cared more about their own success—and about Cain's weight, and about whether she was doing exactly what they told her to do—than they did about Cain's success, or her health, or her happiness.
My strongest takeaway from this book is that Cain is angry, and that she has every right to be. Her writing is so clear and so direct, with chapter after chapter highlighting just how hard others made it for her: bullying from classmates and their parents; her school basically shrugging and turning away; her coach subjecting her to his whims and creeping around her bedroom when she was partially clothed and insisting on undernourishment because he was convinced that lighter would mean faster, no matter how "lighter" was achieved, and pushing her to train on debilitating injuries when she should have been resting. But I want to be clear, too: Cain writes all of this plainly, but the tone is not poor me; the tone is where were the people who should have intervened? Cain's parents sound solid, but she describes an environment in which other parents did not speak up; other coaches did not speak up; doctors employed by Nike (the employer of her coach; she trained with a "Nike project") did not speak up; her teammates did not speak up. Or, if they did, they spoke against her. And she asks: How can a literal child see that this is wrong when the adults around her refuse to do so?
This memoir is not about running. This memoir is about how sports normalizes the abuse of young athletes. (loc. 174*)
It's impossible not to read this and think of other well-publicized abuse cases. The way gymnastics turned a blind eye to Larry Nasser, for example, because in exchange for access to underage athletes he was willing to say "she's fine to keep training". Or even what happened with Kamila Valieva; there was so much discussion of positive drug tests, but realistically, any doping was likely to be the direct result of whatever her coaches told her to do. Cain is writing about abuse within the context of running, but it's fair to say that what she underwent is the tip of the iceberg as far as women's sports go, especially in contexts where the athletes are young. At some point things become less about athletic excellence and more about who has power over whom.
This was not an easy read. I took a break at around 30% because it was clear that it was going to be a while before things got better, and they were likely to get worse before that happened. Absolutely worth the read, but also perhaps a good idea to pace yourself.
*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
My strongest takeaway from this book is that Cain is angry, and that she has every right to be. Her writing is so clear and so direct, with chapter after chapter highlighting just how hard others made it for her: bullying from classmates and their parents; her school basically shrugging and turning away; her coach subjecting her to his whims and creeping around her bedroom when she was partially clothed and insisting on undernourishment because he was convinced that lighter would mean faster, no matter how "lighter" was achieved, and pushing her to train on debilitating injuries when she should have been resting. But I want to be clear, too: Cain writes all of this plainly, but the tone is not poor me; the tone is where were the people who should have intervened? Cain's parents sound solid, but she describes an environment in which other parents did not speak up; other coaches did not speak up; doctors employed by Nike (the employer of her coach; she trained with a "Nike project") did not speak up; her teammates did not speak up. Or, if they did, they spoke against her. And she asks: How can a literal child see that this is wrong when the adults around her refuse to do so?
This memoir is not about running. This memoir is about how sports normalizes the abuse of young athletes. (loc. 174*)
It's impossible not to read this and think of other well-publicized abuse cases. The way gymnastics turned a blind eye to Larry Nasser, for example, because in exchange for access to underage athletes he was willing to say "she's fine to keep training". Or even what happened with Kamila Valieva; there was so much discussion of positive drug tests, but realistically, any doping was likely to be the direct result of whatever her coaches told her to do. Cain is writing about abuse within the context of running, but it's fair to say that what she underwent is the tip of the iceberg as far as women's sports go, especially in contexts where the athletes are young. At some point things become less about athletic excellence and more about who has power over whom.
This was not an easy read. I took a break at around 30% because it was clear that it was going to be a while before things got better, and they were likely to get worse before that happened. Absolutely worth the read, but also perhaps a good idea to pace yourself.
*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
November 26, 2025
"Abuse is quiet. Abuse is insidious. Abuse happens behind doors that stay closed too often. To stop abuse, safeguarding practices need to be put in place. Companies, schools, teams, brands, and so forth need to put their people first, before the vague concept of their brand name."
As someone who has experienced abuse in the sport of cross-country and track by my own coaches, I connected deeply with Cain's experience. There were many times where I wanted to give Cain a hug. She tells it like it is, no sugar-coating. The chapters of her describing the sport as cliquey, how girls will outcast other girls because one is better or a possible threat to be better, was something that made me think back to my high school days and realize how true it is.
Reading about when Cain was forced to increase her workload even though she was injured and everyone just saying it is because she's "weak" or "on her period" was both shocking that doctors and coaches said it, and also angrily hit close to home. Not everyone needs the same amount of running mileage, because not everyone's body is the same. I hope this memoir helps change the world.
What I loved most, though, was Cain's fearsomeness to call out Nike for what they have done, even after the lawsuit ended. I absolutely love that she stands by what she believes in. Cain is a force to be reckoned with -- and I can't wait to see where her medical journey takes her!
Thank you, Mariner Books, for providing me with this ARC. I am eternally grateful!
"I wrote my New York Times piece out of fear. But not fear for myself. And Nike did not seem to realize that I wasn't at all scared about coming forward. I was not scared to talk about my mental health. Not scared to talk about cutting myself. Not scared to talk about how they were culpable. I was not scared of Nike." -- #SLAY! You go girl!!
_____________________________
pre-read:
as someone who also have experienced abuse from my college xc/tf coaches, i am an excited bean to read this 🤩 Mary Cain is an inspiration!
As someone who has experienced abuse in the sport of cross-country and track by my own coaches, I connected deeply with Cain's experience. There were many times where I wanted to give Cain a hug. She tells it like it is, no sugar-coating. The chapters of her describing the sport as cliquey, how girls will outcast other girls because one is better or a possible threat to be better, was something that made me think back to my high school days and realize how true it is.
Reading about when Cain was forced to increase her workload even though she was injured and everyone just saying it is because she's "weak" or "on her period" was both shocking that doctors and coaches said it, and also angrily hit close to home. Not everyone needs the same amount of running mileage, because not everyone's body is the same. I hope this memoir helps change the world.
What I loved most, though, was Cain's fearsomeness to call out Nike for what they have done, even after the lawsuit ended. I absolutely love that she stands by what she believes in. Cain is a force to be reckoned with -- and I can't wait to see where her medical journey takes her!
Thank you, Mariner Books, for providing me with this ARC. I am eternally grateful!
"I wrote my New York Times piece out of fear. But not fear for myself. And Nike did not seem to realize that I wasn't at all scared about coming forward. I was not scared to talk about my mental health. Not scared to talk about cutting myself. Not scared to talk about how they were culpable. I was not scared of Nike." -- #SLAY! You go girl!!
_____________________________
pre-read:
as someone who also have experienced abuse from my college xc/tf coaches, i am an excited bean to read this 🤩 Mary Cain is an inspiration!
December 3, 2025
I am completely gutted after reading this book.
In her memoir, "This Is Not About Running", elite distance runner Mary Cain shares her story. When Mary first reached the national stage as a young high school distance running star, her future looked bright and exciting. She left high school running early (we find out in the book was mostly due to the bullying and treatment she received by her school teammates and coaches) to run professionally. Things went horribly downhill from there. Mary bravely shares her story with brutal and heart breaking honesty.
The book begins with her middle school and high school years, and progresses chronologically. Mary's voice, as she tells the story in first person, is haunting, as she perfectly uses the voice that she was at each stage. When we read her thoughts and viewpoints of what is happening, we get amazing insight into how a young girl might process her coach's hurtful critique and accept what he, along with so-called doctors and psychologists are demanding of her. As horrifying and disgusting as it was to read about the
abuse and neglect from those entrusted to guide and support her, it broke my heart to see the many others surrounding her (teammates, competitors, other coaches, etc ) just watch on and do nothing.
This book is important. If you care at all about sports, young athletes, and fixing a broken system, this is a must read.
Thank you to NetGalley and Mariner Books for the advance read.
In her memoir, "This Is Not About Running", elite distance runner Mary Cain shares her story. When Mary first reached the national stage as a young high school distance running star, her future looked bright and exciting. She left high school running early (we find out in the book was mostly due to the bullying and treatment she received by her school teammates and coaches) to run professionally. Things went horribly downhill from there. Mary bravely shares her story with brutal and heart breaking honesty.
The book begins with her middle school and high school years, and progresses chronologically. Mary's voice, as she tells the story in first person, is haunting, as she perfectly uses the voice that she was at each stage. When we read her thoughts and viewpoints of what is happening, we get amazing insight into how a young girl might process her coach's hurtful critique and accept what he, along with so-called doctors and psychologists are demanding of her. As horrifying and disgusting as it was to read about the
abuse and neglect from those entrusted to guide and support her, it broke my heart to see the many others surrounding her (teammates, competitors, other coaches, etc ) just watch on and do nothing.
This book is important. If you care at all about sports, young athletes, and fixing a broken system, this is a must read.
Thank you to NetGalley and Mariner Books for the advance read.
May 3, 2026
caught myself wondering if some of her writing was unnecessarily petty and realized umm absolutely FUCK THAT - why is it always on the onus of the person being abused to be silent, “mature,” or the bigger person? be explicit, name names, burn it all down!!! she deserved so much better - as a TEENAGER, she (understandably) trusted people in positions of power & they ruined more than just her career - it’s unforgivable! go off, sis!!
April 27, 2026
I received an ARC of This Is Not About Running from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
I was familiar with Mary Cain's story from past accounts in Runners World and The New York Times as well as several memoirs written by other runners who were coached by Alberto Salazar. Mary was a gifted young runner who, as a child and teen, struggled with peers and other runners. As this memoir begins, the tone is bitter and angry as Mary recounts the alienation and jealousy that she received from fellow teammates, their parents, and the school track coach. Mary sounds bitter and angry, and I almost abandoned the book at that point. I'm glad I didn't. When Mary was still in high school, she signed with Salazar and Nike, which was the beginning of Mary's demise. In 2021, Salazar was banned for life from coaching following allegations of sexual and emotional misconduct. Mary shares the story of her time with the Nike Oregon Project and her struggles with her teammates. It's a sad but engrossing story of an uber-talented young woman who was taken advantage of by the adults she trusted and used for their own career advancement. When will the exploitation of women athletes end?
I was familiar with Mary Cain's story from past accounts in Runners World and The New York Times as well as several memoirs written by other runners who were coached by Alberto Salazar. Mary was a gifted young runner who, as a child and teen, struggled with peers and other runners. As this memoir begins, the tone is bitter and angry as Mary recounts the alienation and jealousy that she received from fellow teammates, their parents, and the school track coach. Mary sounds bitter and angry, and I almost abandoned the book at that point. I'm glad I didn't. When Mary was still in high school, she signed with Salazar and Nike, which was the beginning of Mary's demise. In 2021, Salazar was banned for life from coaching following allegations of sexual and emotional misconduct. Mary shares the story of her time with the Nike Oregon Project and her struggles with her teammates. It's a sad but engrossing story of an uber-talented young woman who was taken advantage of by the adults she trusted and used for their own career advancement. When will the exploitation of women athletes end?
May 5, 2026
Such mixed feelings about this one. I was in college when her story broke and relearning about what happened is just as devastating now as it was then. I just didn’t love this book/her writing.
Aside: in general, I’m struggling to like memoirs where the author chooses to tell their narrative chronologically as if it were in the present tense (e.g., I’m Glad My Mom Died). It just feels disingenuous to recreate, in detail, what happened as a 17-year-old instead of reflecting back as an adult (like If We Break, by Kathleen Buhle — one of my favorite memoirs).
I feel for her though and what an awful situation. Despite not loving her writing, I’m glad she felt comfortable enough to write about it all!
Also, this is totally about running.
Aside: in general, I’m struggling to like memoirs where the author chooses to tell their narrative chronologically as if it were in the present tense (e.g., I’m Glad My Mom Died). It just feels disingenuous to recreate, in detail, what happened as a 17-year-old instead of reflecting back as an adult (like If We Break, by Kathleen Buhle — one of my favorite memoirs).
I feel for her though and what an awful situation. Despite not loving her writing, I’m glad she felt comfortable enough to write about it all!
Also, this is totally about running.
May 4, 2026
This was so heart wrenching to read but goddamn it’s so so so important. I remember watching Mary and thinking how talented she was and impressed since we were so close in age and both ran (albeit at very different levels). It breaks my heart reading what she had to endure and go through but truly such a testament to her strength that she’s willing to put this out there in hopes of changing the system. A must read not only for ANY runner (yes even you males hello please especially you) but just any human.
April 16, 2026
I flew through this book. Very well written. I’m not a runner but my daughter is and she encouraged me to request this ARC from Netgalley. So thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for letting me read it.
If you enjoy a memoir, you will enjoy this book. You don’t have to be a runner. It really speaks to abuse behavior in the sporting world.
Mary’s story is sad and really made me angry. People took advantage and mistreated a young girl with talent. I wanted to slap her high school coach and strangle the parents of her teammates who treated her so bad. I think this speaks to a larger issue about parents trying to live through their kids. The kids themselves behaved badly and should be ashamed of their behavior but the parents should be doubly ashamed.
I had high hopes when she moved on to Nike and a professional coach but that coach was abusive as well. It’s a shame that she was told a lot of her problems were in her head. Clearly she needed help. It’s disturbing that so many people turned a blind eye.
The book also speaks to the double standard of the way women are treated versus men. Even the female doctor that treated her from the project basically ignored her concerns and instead listened to what her coach was saying. This coach not only gave her running instructions but health instructions that were to her detriment.
Thankfully she was able to stay on track with her schooling and is continuing her education. I think we will see great things from Mary in the future.
If you enjoy a memoir, you will enjoy this book. You don’t have to be a runner. It really speaks to abuse behavior in the sporting world.
Mary’s story is sad and really made me angry. People took advantage and mistreated a young girl with talent. I wanted to slap her high school coach and strangle the parents of her teammates who treated her so bad. I think this speaks to a larger issue about parents trying to live through their kids. The kids themselves behaved badly and should be ashamed of their behavior but the parents should be doubly ashamed.
I had high hopes when she moved on to Nike and a professional coach but that coach was abusive as well. It’s a shame that she was told a lot of her problems were in her head. Clearly she needed help. It’s disturbing that so many people turned a blind eye.
The book also speaks to the double standard of the way women are treated versus men. Even the female doctor that treated her from the project basically ignored her concerns and instead listened to what her coach was saying. This coach not only gave her running instructions but health instructions that were to her detriment.
Thankfully she was able to stay on track with her schooling and is continuing her education. I think we will see great things from Mary in the future.
April 30, 2026
To be honest, I feel like I have to give this 5 stars… The present tense really makes the thoughts/feelings of Mary hit hard. Closing this book (metaphorically because I listened to it), angry and sad for Mary and what she went through AND what so many girls/women STILL are going through today in the running world at all the grade school, college and professional level. Running is so wonderful and an awesome opportunity to be competitive and let out all that pent up energy. For all of that to be ruined is so terribly sad.
May 6, 2026
Wow. I needed this book in my life; it helped me continue to heal scars I thought had been tended to long ago. Mary has a clear, concise writing voice and is truly, truly fucking brave.
Want to Read
September 9, 2025im sat.
May 4, 2026
Mary Cain, an incredibly talented runner since middle school, has suffered abuse by adults and teammates from the beginning. I wish she grew up somewhere less obnoxiously privileged so she could have had a fighting chance as a kid but I think she would have caught the eye of Alberto Salazar and his Nike Oregon Project regardless.
I read Kara Goucher’s book so I knew what a monster Salazar was but wow it was even worse than I remembered. He shouldn’t just be disgraced, he should be in jail. And Nike enabled him for years.
It was also disappointing to hear how some well known professional runners are not just unfriendly but downright vicious. Next time I hear some of these people being interviewed I will remember this and view them differently.
I’m sure that as reviews start to come in people will criticize Mary for not being a perfect victim, but rather than nitpicking tiny details I hope people take a step back and realize that there was a system of abuse established long ago in women’s running and the big accusations are easily verifiable. I believe her high school coach did exactly what she said. I believe Salazar did exactly what she said. I believe every Nike employee and executive did what she said. I believe the college coaches she met with did what she said.
I only wish she never caught Salazar’s attention because I would have loved seeing what she could have become and done for running if he didn’t destroy her body and her mind. Shame on him and shame on every person who perpetuates this cycle.
I couldn’t put this memoir down. It was heartbreaking and vulnerable. I hope Mary’s future as a doctor is bright and that she can make a strong return to running if she chooses.
Thank you Mariner Books and NetGalley for an early copy in exchange for my honest review.
I read Kara Goucher’s book so I knew what a monster Salazar was but wow it was even worse than I remembered. He shouldn’t just be disgraced, he should be in jail. And Nike enabled him for years.
It was also disappointing to hear how some well known professional runners are not just unfriendly but downright vicious. Next time I hear some of these people being interviewed I will remember this and view them differently.
I’m sure that as reviews start to come in people will criticize Mary for not being a perfect victim, but rather than nitpicking tiny details I hope people take a step back and realize that there was a system of abuse established long ago in women’s running and the big accusations are easily verifiable. I believe her high school coach did exactly what she said. I believe Salazar did exactly what she said. I believe every Nike employee and executive did what she said. I believe the college coaches she met with did what she said.
I only wish she never caught Salazar’s attention because I would have loved seeing what she could have become and done for running if he didn’t destroy her body and her mind. Shame on him and shame on every person who perpetuates this cycle.
I couldn’t put this memoir down. It was heartbreaking and vulnerable. I hope Mary’s future as a doctor is bright and that she can make a strong return to running if she chooses.
Thank you Mariner Books and NetGalley for an early copy in exchange for my honest review.
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May 6, 2026I always feel weird giving a star rating to memoirs, so I’m not going to. This book is worth reading! Mary shares her experiences with abuse, shame, disordered eating, and mental health. I could relate to a lot of what Mary shared; at times it was triggering. She was very brave to share her story.
She spend the first part of the book talking about her high school team. I found this somewhat uninteresting, but it explains how she ended up with Alberto. I was shocked at how many people she called out! Whether by their actual names or by giving us clues as to who she was talking about. There were a few things she shared that felt a little petty. Like why did she need to mention that Jenny Simpson didn’t smile at her? Or that Shalane wasn’t friendly or kind? I suppose it shows how alone she felt and how many people just looked the other way as she openly struggled.
What she shared about her experiences with the Nike Oregon Project was heart breaking. She was so young and vulnerable. No one was looking out for her!! For those saying she just “didn’t have the mental strength for professional running”, I say get lost! The way she was treated was NOT okay. No one should be shamed about their weight, their performances, or their mental health.
We all know Alberto is an abusive creep and a cheat, so let’s stop victim shaming Mary. 💕
She spend the first part of the book talking about her high school team. I found this somewhat uninteresting, but it explains how she ended up with Alberto. I was shocked at how many people she called out! Whether by their actual names or by giving us clues as to who she was talking about. There were a few things she shared that felt a little petty. Like why did she need to mention that Jenny Simpson didn’t smile at her? Or that Shalane wasn’t friendly or kind? I suppose it shows how alone she felt and how many people just looked the other way as she openly struggled.
What she shared about her experiences with the Nike Oregon Project was heart breaking. She was so young and vulnerable. No one was looking out for her!! For those saying she just “didn’t have the mental strength for professional running”, I say get lost! The way she was treated was NOT okay. No one should be shamed about their weight, their performances, or their mental health.
We all know Alberto is an abusive creep and a cheat, so let’s stop victim shaming Mary. 💕
May 3, 2026
Mary Cain is stunningly clear, concise, and courageous in this account. Her choices to a) begin the story in her middle school years and b) write in the present tense both generate a well-articulated narrative: we see Mary as she sees herself, trying to grow up and succeed in an atmosphere that is confusingly cruel. We, the readers, see all the moments that set the stage for abuse by Mary’s coaches. Cain is clear that she’s an advocate, but not a martyr, a victim, but not a naive or helpless individual. Though Mary is a runner, and much of the book revolves around running, the title holds true upon reflection. Are there some controversial takes and barbed statements? Of course. This book is not for the running historian or biographer seeking objectivity, it’s for future-oriented people who are looking to better the athletic experiences of all girls and women.
May 4, 2026
Mary Cain's abuse on the Nike Oregon Project team is unique in its visibility and stakes, but not in nature. The narcissistic manipulation from her coach Alberto Salazar is textbook both in method and outcome- despite his lifetime ban by Safe Sport, he has the seeming security of allies and a maddening protective membrane of lies. Cain writes in the present tense to emphasize how blinding abuse can be: you can know and not know that what is happening to you is not okay. The title is apt- this book is not about running.
May 3, 2026
tough but important read - that honestly has me rethinking a few things.
May 5, 2026
Thank you to Audrey for borrowing to me. Read this in one day and really enjoyed. I think watching Mary Cain growing up and wanting to follow in her path made this way more interesting.
April 29, 2026
4.5 ⭐️ This was probably my most anticipated book of 2026. It reads like flipping through Mary Cain’s private journal during the highest highs and darkest moments of high school and the Nike Oregon Project years. Raw, intimate, and hard to put down. Highly recommend the audiobook… hearing her tell the story herself makes it hit even harder. There are moments where you can hear the pain in her voice. Couldn’t put it down.
May 2, 2026
I have no idea how people, especially women still buy Nike shoes.
November 30, 2025
One thing about Mary Cain is that she is not afraid. She is not afraid of Nike. She is not afraid of dropping names. She is not afraid to tell her story. Cain goes into great detail of the bullying, mind games and abuse that she felt from coaches, parents and fellow runners along the rise of her career and what is painfully apparent throughout this book is how young she was when this was occurring. Instead of being protected by this sport as she should have been as a child she was used and abused by people wrongly in power. I am glad she was brave enough to tell us about it.
Thank you to the publisher for this ARC.
Thank you to the publisher for this ARC.
November 4, 2025
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book. Thank you Mary Cain for the brave, heartbreaking, honest recounting of your time as a high school and professional runner with Nike. The present tense form of the book is unique and adds such a touching perspective. It makes me want to reach through and give young Mary a big hug. 10/5 stars. 🫶🏼
April 24, 2026
Harrowing account of abuse. As she writes, "This memoir is not about running. This memoir is about how sports normalize the abuse of young athletes."*
Mary Cain "was the fastest girl in America, until she joined Nike." In short vignettes, she recounts not just her experience with Alberto Salazar, but bullying she faced early on and how others have co-opted her story for their own purposes.
Highly recommended, not only for fans of running, but sports fans generally, and especially those who coach, work with, and have roles of importance in children and teens' lives.
Thank you to Mariner Books and NetGalley for a free e-arc of this title for review.
*Quotation from an uncorrected proof, subject to change (I'll try to check it against a finished copy once the book comes out)
Mary Cain "was the fastest girl in America, until she joined Nike." In short vignettes, she recounts not just her experience with Alberto Salazar, but bullying she faced early on and how others have co-opted her story for their own purposes.
Highly recommended, not only for fans of running, but sports fans generally, and especially those who coach, work with, and have roles of importance in children and teens' lives.
Thank you to Mariner Books and NetGalley for a free e-arc of this title for review.
*Quotation from an uncorrected proof, subject to change (I'll try to check it against a finished copy once the book comes out)
Review of advance copy received from Indie Reviewers
In 2019, runner Mary Cain penned a shocking and revelatory piece in the NYT detailing her physical and mental abuse in the Nike Oregon Project under coach Alberto Salazar. She has expanded that piece and turned it into this book.
This Is Not About Running (out April 28) is now the third book about Salazar and the abusive culture at Nike in the 2010s. Runner Kara Goucher's book The Longest Race also details Salazar's abuse, pseudo-scientific coaching practices, and his penchant for coming up with "creative" ways for athletes to dope without getting caught. Win At All Costs by journalist Matt Hart is based on the US Anti-Doping Agency's investigation and report on Salazar, as well as interviews with some of his former athletes. They're both enraging reads -- not just regarding how such a shitty human could have been in charge of coaching athletes for so long, but also how Nike constantly defended him.
Mary Cain's book, though, is especially damning, because Mary was a teenager during her time with Salazar. The fastest 1,500m runner in the US at age 17, Mary moved cross country from her home in New York to train with Salazar in Portland. She was Salazar's next prodigy -- a can't-miss phenom who would smash world records.
But it didn't happen. And this book explains why. The book, written in present tense so, as Cain explains, you feel like you are right there with her as Salazar is calling her fat, as she cuts herself, as he thinks about suicide, is, in a word, shocking.
Salazar became obsessed with an arbitrary weight target, which even starving herself, she couldn't hit. In running, confidence is just important as peak fitness, and Salazar (and his shady "sports psychologist" whom Mary had to see) absolutely destroyed her confidence. She got to the point where she couldn't get through a workout without breaking down in a fit of sobs because she was terrified Salazar would scream at her. He often did. Her teammates were mean to her and she had few friends. Salazar even made her stop talking to her parents, not wanting them to "meddle" in her training. Just all absolutely horrific.
Salazar has since been banned for life from coaching for both doping and abuse, which is justice, but also real justice would be him rotting in jail. Just as infuriating as Salazar's abuse, though, is Cain's details of how Nike treated her after she quit the Oregon Project. As she says, it would've cost very little for a multi-billion dollar company to do the right thing. Instead, when she sued them, they fought her tooth and nail at every turn, trying to make themselves the victim, or blaming Cain as the actual victim.
Don't read this if you don't want to be angry. Don't read this if you're a Nike apologist. But definitely read if you're a runner or anyone else interested in the very, very bad culture at Nike.
This Is Not About Running (out April 28) is now the third book about Salazar and the abusive culture at Nike in the 2010s. Runner Kara Goucher's book The Longest Race also details Salazar's abuse, pseudo-scientific coaching practices, and his penchant for coming up with "creative" ways for athletes to dope without getting caught. Win At All Costs by journalist Matt Hart is based on the US Anti-Doping Agency's investigation and report on Salazar, as well as interviews with some of his former athletes. They're both enraging reads -- not just regarding how such a shitty human could have been in charge of coaching athletes for so long, but also how Nike constantly defended him.
Mary Cain's book, though, is especially damning, because Mary was a teenager during her time with Salazar. The fastest 1,500m runner in the US at age 17, Mary moved cross country from her home in New York to train with Salazar in Portland. She was Salazar's next prodigy -- a can't-miss phenom who would smash world records.
But it didn't happen. And this book explains why. The book, written in present tense so, as Cain explains, you feel like you are right there with her as Salazar is calling her fat, as she cuts herself, as he thinks about suicide, is, in a word, shocking.
Salazar became obsessed with an arbitrary weight target, which even starving herself, she couldn't hit. In running, confidence is just important as peak fitness, and Salazar (and his shady "sports psychologist" whom Mary had to see) absolutely destroyed her confidence. She got to the point where she couldn't get through a workout without breaking down in a fit of sobs because she was terrified Salazar would scream at her. He often did. Her teammates were mean to her and she had few friends. Salazar even made her stop talking to her parents, not wanting them to "meddle" in her training. Just all absolutely horrific.
Salazar has since been banned for life from coaching for both doping and abuse, which is justice, but also real justice would be him rotting in jail. Just as infuriating as Salazar's abuse, though, is Cain's details of how Nike treated her after she quit the Oregon Project. As she says, it would've cost very little for a multi-billion dollar company to do the right thing. Instead, when she sued them, they fought her tooth and nail at every turn, trying to make themselves the victim, or blaming Cain as the actual victim.
Don't read this if you don't want to be angry. Don't read this if you're a Nike apologist. But definitely read if you're a runner or anyone else interested in the very, very bad culture at Nike.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Thanks to NetGalley and Mariner Books for the ARC of This Is Not About Running, A Memoir by Mary Cain.
I had never heard of Mary Cain until I read her opinion piece in The New York Times titled, I Was The Fastest Girl In America, Until I Joined Nike. This piece was published in November 2019 and was followed by an incredible YouTube video produced by Lindsay Crouse and Alexander Stockton. My heart broke for her when I heard about her experiences, but at the same time, I was incredibly inspired by her. She had experienced things as a young woman and athlete that no one should have experienced, but she is reclaiming her voice, her power, and confidence. This book is a product of how far she has come and how inspiring she continues to be.
I loved this book. It is written incredibly well, and she can describe her experiences in such a way that it doesn’t invoke emotions that other memoirs may not. I am a runner, and therefore I had a personal interest in this book and her experiences, but this book, as the title says, Is Not About Running. She details exactly what happens when coaches, parents, or whoever put their fierce competitive compassion and their need to win over the health and well-being of the child athlete. She also speaks to the damage experienced by the child athlete, sometimes permanent, that is a result of the behaviors and actions of the very people she looked up to and sought guidance and approval from. This book invoked the same emotions I felt when I read her opinion piece nearly seven years ago.
Mary Cain should be exceptionally proud of herself for having written this memoir, as it will be a wakeup call for parents and coaches who see competition and athletes, not children. It would be beneficial for high school athletes to read and understand what is healthy, normal, motivational coaching, versus what is too far. This book shows the detrimental outcomes of being put in horrific situations by coaches when there is no one there to help. I hope her suit against Nike, public speaking engagements, and now this book will help to protect others and bring Mary Cain peace.
I strongly recommend this book to high school athletes, their parents, and coaches of young athletes. I already have a list of people I want to gift this book to.
I had never heard of Mary Cain until I read her opinion piece in The New York Times titled, I Was The Fastest Girl In America, Until I Joined Nike. This piece was published in November 2019 and was followed by an incredible YouTube video produced by Lindsay Crouse and Alexander Stockton. My heart broke for her when I heard about her experiences, but at the same time, I was incredibly inspired by her. She had experienced things as a young woman and athlete that no one should have experienced, but she is reclaiming her voice, her power, and confidence. This book is a product of how far she has come and how inspiring she continues to be.
I loved this book. It is written incredibly well, and she can describe her experiences in such a way that it doesn’t invoke emotions that other memoirs may not. I am a runner, and therefore I had a personal interest in this book and her experiences, but this book, as the title says, Is Not About Running. She details exactly what happens when coaches, parents, or whoever put their fierce competitive compassion and their need to win over the health and well-being of the child athlete. She also speaks to the damage experienced by the child athlete, sometimes permanent, that is a result of the behaviors and actions of the very people she looked up to and sought guidance and approval from. This book invoked the same emotions I felt when I read her opinion piece nearly seven years ago.
Mary Cain should be exceptionally proud of herself for having written this memoir, as it will be a wakeup call for parents and coaches who see competition and athletes, not children. It would be beneficial for high school athletes to read and understand what is healthy, normal, motivational coaching, versus what is too far. This book shows the detrimental outcomes of being put in horrific situations by coaches when there is no one there to help. I hope her suit against Nike, public speaking engagements, and now this book will help to protect others and bring Mary Cain peace.
I strongly recommend this book to high school athletes, their parents, and coaches of young athletes. I already have a list of people I want to gift this book to.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you to the publisher for this ARC!
Please note that since I read an advanced copy, some of the repetitive phrasing or editing issues may be smoothed over before the final publication.
Memoirs are difficult to rate. I always go in with an open mind, making a conscious effort not to judge or psychoanalyze the author. It is clear Mary wrote this to reveal "the dark uncomfortable truths." Though still young, she is brave while remaining understandably hurt, naive, and angry. The insider look at her professional training with Nike was fascinating. While I would have loved to hear more about the positives in her life or seen more self-reflection, that clearly wasn't her intent for this book.
The prelude and intro carry an angry tone (valid), and she lists several trigger warnings: disordered eating, body shaming, sexual harassment, abuse, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. Her mission to expose the "train more, eat less" culture is an important one.
While I didn't care for the way she and others spoke about one another, her honesty regarding body dysmorphia, bulimia, and self-harm was incredibly moving and raw. Those were the most honest chapters in the book and were articulate and polished.
I don't critique an author's personality, but I did struggle with the execution. I found several "holes" in the narrative... for instance, why her parents (both doctors) never viewed her MRI imaging themselves. The support from her parents and sports psychologists felt inconsistent, leaving me with questions about the full story. The writing was often repetitive; certain phrases were overused, and several grievances were mentioned so frequently they lost their impact. She also mentions the wealth of others without acknowledging her own privilege.
The narrative could be unclear at times, making it hard to distinguish between internal monologue and actual dialogue. The final chapters felt a bit clunky, but ultimately, any reader will walk away wishing Mary happiness. I know she is in med school now and I truly hope she thrives.
Please note that since I read an advanced copy, some of the repetitive phrasing or editing issues may be smoothed over before the final publication.
Memoirs are difficult to rate. I always go in with an open mind, making a conscious effort not to judge or psychoanalyze the author. It is clear Mary wrote this to reveal "the dark uncomfortable truths." Though still young, she is brave while remaining understandably hurt, naive, and angry. The insider look at her professional training with Nike was fascinating. While I would have loved to hear more about the positives in her life or seen more self-reflection, that clearly wasn't her intent for this book.
The prelude and intro carry an angry tone (valid), and she lists several trigger warnings: disordered eating, body shaming, sexual harassment, abuse, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. Her mission to expose the "train more, eat less" culture is an important one.
While I didn't care for the way she and others spoke about one another, her honesty regarding body dysmorphia, bulimia, and self-harm was incredibly moving and raw. Those were the most honest chapters in the book and were articulate and polished.
I don't critique an author's personality, but I did struggle with the execution. I found several "holes" in the narrative... for instance, why her parents (both doctors) never viewed her MRI imaging themselves. The support from her parents and sports psychologists felt inconsistent, leaving me with questions about the full story. The writing was often repetitive; certain phrases were overused, and several grievances were mentioned so frequently they lost their impact. She also mentions the wealth of others without acknowledging her own privilege.
The narrative could be unclear at times, making it hard to distinguish between internal monologue and actual dialogue. The final chapters felt a bit clunky, but ultimately, any reader will walk away wishing Mary happiness. I know she is in med school now and I truly hope she thrives.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I could not put this memoir down from the moment I read the first two sentences. I knew nothing about the author but after I finished the last sentence of her amazing book I was so in awe of this woman’s courage and resilience after years of sports abuse.
Mary Cain was one of the fastest runners of her generation in middle distance events. From middle school on she was outperforming girls older than her. At the age of 16, she was recruited to be coached by Alberto Salazar at the Nike Oregon Project (NOP), a program designed to cultivate young runners. While the abuse in that program is horrific, her life as a young runner in middle school wasn’t much better. There while she was not physically abused by dieting and other things, she was bullied by her coach, her teammates and their parents. Jealousy is the key ingredient for that - and even later in competitive racing where opponents snubbed her. In NOP, staff were not qualified like the sports psychologist who only brought on Mary’s troubling self loathing as she struggled to lose weight and lost races (usually not placing high enough to make the cut). By the time she left the program she was a shell of who she had been when she first arrived. But due to a NY Times article she helped write, she helped expose the program, regained her dignity, went in to sue Nike, and establish an advocacy group for young girl runners.
While this is a fairly long book, the chapters are short and the language is clear, precise and sharp, making the reading fast. Truly I was mesmerized in the read. This is such a tragic story but told with such honesty. It’s a must read for parents who are considering or seeing their children as championship material.
I’d like to thank NetGalley and HarperCollins for allowing me to read this wonderful ARC.
Mary Cain was one of the fastest runners of her generation in middle distance events. From middle school on she was outperforming girls older than her. At the age of 16, she was recruited to be coached by Alberto Salazar at the Nike Oregon Project (NOP), a program designed to cultivate young runners. While the abuse in that program is horrific, her life as a young runner in middle school wasn’t much better. There while she was not physically abused by dieting and other things, she was bullied by her coach, her teammates and their parents. Jealousy is the key ingredient for that - and even later in competitive racing where opponents snubbed her. In NOP, staff were not qualified like the sports psychologist who only brought on Mary’s troubling self loathing as she struggled to lose weight and lost races (usually not placing high enough to make the cut). By the time she left the program she was a shell of who she had been when she first arrived. But due to a NY Times article she helped write, she helped expose the program, regained her dignity, went in to sue Nike, and establish an advocacy group for young girl runners.
While this is a fairly long book, the chapters are short and the language is clear, precise and sharp, making the reading fast. Truly I was mesmerized in the read. This is such a tragic story but told with such honesty. It’s a must read for parents who are considering or seeing their children as championship material.
I’d like to thank NetGalley and HarperCollins for allowing me to read this wonderful ARC.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
As soon as I saw Netgalley had Mary Cain's book up, I knew I had to request it.
In 2019 I remember when her NYT article was released, it was a stunner and it broke my heart but most of all she had the GUTS to actually say something.
Mary tells this story by breaking it up into very short chapters, almost a diary style, by telling her story from the beginning. There are so many emotions in those chapters; you can tell she was truly struggling. There were so many people that were mentioned that made me furious. I was a high school track and cross country coach; if any of my athletes were talked to or bullied in the manner that Mary mentioned I would have been at that athlete's side. I know all the other coaches I worked with wouldn't have stood for it either.
I was absolutely amazed how much trauma Mary went through and the fact that she still stuck with running during that time just made me speechless. No one should have to endure all of that alone, ever. No one should ever feel that isolated, ever. No one should have to be put on the spot and weighed among their peers.
I have read Kara's memoir, I have also, sadly, read Alberto's book. (wayyyy back in the day) I was a fan of the Nike Oregon Project until the allegations started coming out. Running has been a part of me for so long that I want to believe that the good times I have experience is what others have had as well, but sadly I know that isn't the case.
In 2019 I remember when her NYT article was released, it was a stunner and it broke my heart but most of all she had the GUTS to actually say something.
Mary tells this story by breaking it up into very short chapters, almost a diary style, by telling her story from the beginning. There are so many emotions in those chapters; you can tell she was truly struggling. There were so many people that were mentioned that made me furious. I was a high school track and cross country coach; if any of my athletes were talked to or bullied in the manner that Mary mentioned I would have been at that athlete's side. I know all the other coaches I worked with wouldn't have stood for it either.
I was absolutely amazed how much trauma Mary went through and the fact that she still stuck with running during that time just made me speechless. No one should have to endure all of that alone, ever. No one should ever feel that isolated, ever. No one should have to be put on the spot and weighed among their peers.
I have read Kara's memoir, I have also, sadly, read Alberto's book. (wayyyy back in the day) I was a fan of the Nike Oregon Project until the allegations started coming out. Running has been a part of me for so long that I want to believe that the good times I have experience is what others have had as well, but sadly I know that isn't the case.
May 4, 2026
This is a hard pill to swallow. Mary Cain is brutally honest in this memoir - and she does not hesitate to name those who were unkind to her as she navigated the world of elite running as a teenager.
Mary's story will cause any parent raising their children in sports to question their actions, on both sides. How can we ensure we are protecting our children from abuse? How can we ensure that we are not part of the problem?
A common thread throughout Mary's story was lack of intervention. Instead of stepping in to protect her, teammates and competitors ignored what was taking place. Mary's call to advocacy - REAL advocacy, not just performative talk - is a call for all of us.
My complaint, and what takes this from five stars to four, is that the present-tense writing style does not leave room for reflection. In what ways has Mary realized that her perception of events, or the way people treated her, was a product of the environment she was in, or that her perception might have been skewed by her age and maturity at the time? I would have appreciated reflection to help the reader parse through what parts of her story were truly abusive (as many parts certainly are) vs. perceived slights due to her naivety (Jenny Simpson not smiling at her correctly?) With both categories of slights presented as facts, the author loses some credibility when blowing the whistle on truly problematic behavior.
Regardless, this one will stick with me for awhile.
Mary's story will cause any parent raising their children in sports to question their actions, on both sides. How can we ensure we are protecting our children from abuse? How can we ensure that we are not part of the problem?
A common thread throughout Mary's story was lack of intervention. Instead of stepping in to protect her, teammates and competitors ignored what was taking place. Mary's call to advocacy - REAL advocacy, not just performative talk - is a call for all of us.
My complaint, and what takes this from five stars to four, is that the present-tense writing style does not leave room for reflection. In what ways has Mary realized that her perception of events, or the way people treated her, was a product of the environment she was in, or that her perception might have been skewed by her age and maturity at the time? I would have appreciated reflection to help the reader parse through what parts of her story were truly abusive (as many parts certainly are) vs. perceived slights due to her naivety (Jenny Simpson not smiling at her correctly?) With both categories of slights presented as facts, the author loses some credibility when blowing the whistle on truly problematic behavior.
Regardless, this one will stick with me for awhile.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
I received an advance copy of Mary Cain’s book. I believe the expectation was that I would review it favorably. It was my first time getting an advanced copy of a book and this is my first review. As someone from her area (NY), I have long been a supporter of hers and felt sympathy for what she experienced with Nike and a young female athlete.
I guess I’m not in line with most of the reviews of Mary Cain’s book. After I read the book, I was taken aback by both the quality of the writing and the overall tone. While “mean” may not be the perfect word, the book often felt mean and more like a diary of a disgruntled, immature young person than a thoughtful memoir. It reads as a chronological list of grievances against nearly everyone she believes wronged her.
I found myself repeatedly putting the book down and wondering how it came to be published in this form. Throughout the book, it seemed to lack a larger purpose beyond tearing others down.
For me, this was a disappointing read. I wanted more. I hoped for a story about someone who recognized the many advantages she had in life, confronted serious, real obstacles, and emerged wiser and stronger on the other side. Unfortunately, this book did not deliver that. This is all too bad because I wanted to love this book and give it a great review.
I guess I’m not in line with most of the reviews of Mary Cain’s book. After I read the book, I was taken aback by both the quality of the writing and the overall tone. While “mean” may not be the perfect word, the book often felt mean and more like a diary of a disgruntled, immature young person than a thoughtful memoir. It reads as a chronological list of grievances against nearly everyone she believes wronged her.
I found myself repeatedly putting the book down and wondering how it came to be published in this form. Throughout the book, it seemed to lack a larger purpose beyond tearing others down.
For me, this was a disappointing read. I wanted more. I hoped for a story about someone who recognized the many advantages she had in life, confronted serious, real obstacles, and emerged wiser and stronger on the other side. Unfortunately, this book did not deliver that. This is all too bad because I wanted to love this book and give it a great review.
May 6, 2026
This book is an important contribution to conversations surrounding the dark side of competitive/professional sports, specifically running (with Nike). I have long admired Mary Cain’s outspoken, raw vulnerability, and writing this memoir was undoubtedly an act of courage.
I am not a fan of the writing style, though, as it felt more like middle school journal entries — name dropping and all — than a thoughtful reflection. But, I also understand why she did this. By keeping her voice present tense and authentic to her experiences, we can more clearly see her innocent and understand how a plethora of abusive people and systems robbed her of a healthy childhood and early adulthood. That said, I do wish there was a bit more research and processing. The ending especially felt clunky and anticlimactic, as she jumps from being in the darkest place of her life to suddenly being okay. It felt like a missed opportunity for insight.
Could the book have been better written and maybe more effective with a different approach? Yes and yes. But all in all, this is an absolutely necessary read to better understand the different forms of abusive coaching, enabling bystanders, and exploitative systems that can destroy an athlete’s mental health. 3.5 stars, rounded up
I am not a fan of the writing style, though, as it felt more like middle school journal entries — name dropping and all — than a thoughtful reflection. But, I also understand why she did this. By keeping her voice present tense and authentic to her experiences, we can more clearly see her innocent and understand how a plethora of abusive people and systems robbed her of a healthy childhood and early adulthood. That said, I do wish there was a bit more research and processing. The ending especially felt clunky and anticlimactic, as she jumps from being in the darkest place of her life to suddenly being okay. It felt like a missed opportunity for insight.
Could the book have been better written and maybe more effective with a different approach? Yes and yes. But all in all, this is an absolutely necessary read to better understand the different forms of abusive coaching, enabling bystanders, and exploitative systems that can destroy an athlete’s mental health. 3.5 stars, rounded up
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