★★★★★ - 6 stars
i’m so obsessed and in love with this book that no thoughts can express how i feel. it was so unexpectedly beautiful. i made sure to give myself some time to calm down (one night) because if i tried to form any thoughts after finishing, it would be impossible.
where do i start?? at first, this book seems like a cute, heartfelt little romance—and it is—but it also SO much more. it’s a story of overcoming past trauma, finding your person, and discovering hope. i laughed, i cried, and literally felt my heart bursting with emotion. i’m in awe of how well Abby is able to elicit these feelings in me. that’s when i knew it was a 5 star.
this book starts out with my favorite character of the series, Briana Ortiz—or Bri. she’s absolutely hilarious and so caring. the way she helped Alexis in the last book made my adoration for her grow even more. and to read a book from her own perspective, i learned a ton about the person she is. i can’t even explain how much i love her.
in the beginning of this book, she was juggling a lot of heartbreak. first, she was finalizing a divorce, and second, her little brother’s kidneys were failing. when all seems hopeless, her only goal is to find a donor for her brother, but time is running out. she begins to give up and realize just how tragic her life has become. that’s when she meets Jacob. her first impression of him is not the best. things quickly change when he sends her a letter.
and when i saw the letters being sent back and forth, i knew i would love this book. there’s such a deep understanding that is achieved with sending handwritten letters. i’ve only read about this trope a few times, and it’s never failed to make me obsessed. i could feel Jacob and Bri’s connection growing stronger with each letter.
i’m so happy for Bri and the trauma she was able to overcome. she found Jacob, and Jacob found her. they are simply better together. she’s such a strong and kind woman. the things she went through, she didn’t deserve, but she deserves all the happiness that came afterward.
Jacob made me feel safe. He was like a living lullaby. A softly spoken word. The smell of coffee and toast in the morning or a cozy fleece blankets. The rain pattering on the roof on a day where you don’t have to go anywhere or do anything.
Jacob was the sweetest man to ever exist. i know i said Daniel was perfect, but Jacob is
PERFECT.
his experience with anxiety was written so well. i could feel his thoughts through the pages. i hate that he never felt validated before Bri, because he deserves it more than anything. anxiety is real. and it’s okay to let yourself feel it. there are no proper words to express how much i love Jacob. none. if i could show you what he’s done to my heart, i would. thinking about his love for Bri brings actual tears to my eyes. i am so happy he’s found his person. someone who calms him but also lets him express his emotions. Jacob is among the top romance men for simply being a raw, genuine human being. every single thing he did for Bri was adorable and i enjoyed every moment with them.
I couldn’t explain the lift I felt in my chest. For the first time in weeks, the electric hum of my anxiety softened. I could breathe again.
Briana made me the best version of myself when I was with her somehow.
I needed my life calm, easy, and static. but I wouldn’t do that with Briana. I’d leave my comfort zone. I had to. Because that’s where she was. And for her I would go anywhere.
Jacob seriously has so many amazing qualities that make him the sweetest human being to ever exist. from his love of animals, to relationship with his family, to his plants, his silly socks, his kind actions, his affirmations, every single thing about him is perfect. i know i keep saying it, but i mean it.
and when Jacob gave Bri his journal to prove to her how much he loves her, that was it. there is truly no man as wonderful as him. the fact that Jacob was willing to give his all and strip himself down completely, especially not knowing whether the other feels the same, is everything. he might not have been sure of how Bri felt, but he knew exactly how he did. Jacob did every possible thing to he deserving of her love and was still prepared to do more. there is nothing that could make me admire him more. Jacob is the standard.
It was a love story. Our love story.
He let me look into his soul. And the only thing in there was us.
“I will never leave you, Briana. Do you hear me? Never. Every single thing that matters to me in this world is in this bed. I love you.”
“We’re all a little broken, Briana. We are a mosaic. We’re made up of all those we’ve met and all the things we’ve been through. There are parts of us that are colorful and dark and jagged and beautiful. And I love every piece of you. Even the ones you wish didn’t exist.”
“You know, love shows up, Briana. And even if you keep me away from you, my heart will still be where you are. So just let me be where you are.”
their romance developed at the perfect pace. not too fast, but also not too slow. they shared so many tender and honest moments. i knew from the start that they’d have a healthy relationship. their love for each other is literally the meaning of “the light at the end of a tunnel.” this is a book about two people who believe they don’t deserve love when truly, they deserve all the love in the world.
Alexis looked up at me from her seat. “Bri? When he tells you he loves you, believe it. Be brave and believe it.”
now, i was fully ready for the book to wrap up with a nice happy ending when Jacob and Bri were at the wedding. but ladies and gentlemen, meet Abby Jimenez. if you think you’re getting a romance book, you’re getting SO much more than that. i know the miscommunication bothers a lot of people, and it did made me want to rip my hair out, but i also think it was worth it by the end. maybe it would have been nice for them to communicate a bit sooner, but good things take time. this book showed me just how much past trauma can affect a relationship. i went from all giddy to absolutely shattered and covered in tears. i don’t know how to accurately describe that in words. books don’t usually have that effect on me. movies, yes. books? eh. the way i cried at the end of this book—OH MY GOSH. please look up the trigger warnings. the tears would not stop. it sounds dramatic but these characters feel so insanely real. the way Bri’s emotions were expressed had my heart racking around in my chest.
so now that you can picture me literally breaking down over a book, i want to move on and try to convey how much i appreciate Abby Jimenez’s books. her writing and her characters and everything. the fact that she puts her all into these, accurately representing anxiety, adding so many emotional themes, creating real conflicts, and making sure to write a full ending. the quotes in this?? i ran out of tabs. like completely. i subconsciously kept reaching for them and i didn’t even need to look. this book made me FEEL things right off the bat. i really hope my mom isn’t mad that her book is completely covered in tabs. i might keep this for myself and buy her a new one. this book is precious to me. i know for a fact that days later, i’ll see this on my shelf and admire it. i’ll remember how lovely and beautiful this story was. i’ll think of Bri and Jacob and the incredible life they’ll have (THEY’RE REAL, OKAY?). i haven’t read book like this in a long time. it’ll be a while before i stop thinking about it.
i will never stop recommending this book to romance lovers. it’s one of the best.
QUOTES
I was rendered frozen and speechless and completely at her mercy, and I had to wonder with a touch of awe and amusement if she had bewitched me. If I was under some spell. Because I’d never felt like this before, this compelled to do something for someone I just met, this drawn to anyone.
Damn, he was handsome. It seemed cliché, but his smile really did light up a room. Bright and dazzlingly gorgeous—and he didn’t do it a lot. You really had to draw him out and earn it. I enjoyed earning it.
I was stupid for this man. He had me all turned over and inside out. Just looking at him made me happy. I wanted to run down the steps and jump on him and kiss his face like an excited puppy.
I adored him. I literally adored him. He was so sweet, and kind, and funny, and self-deprecating, and awkwardly loveable. I had this deep urge to take care of him and baby him and just love all over him.
“Do you need a hug?” I asked.
He drew his brows down. “What?”
“You look like you need a hug. Can I hug you?”
He gave me one of his quiet pauses. And then he nodded. “Yes.”
I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him. “I am here for you,” I whispered. “We’ll get through this together and everything will be okay.”
She gave me a serious look and I couldn’t help but smile. She was so, so beautiful.
It was weird to say, but she made me feel alone—the way I felt when I was by myself. Calm and unaffected. Like it was just us here and not a hundred other people. I liked being alone. With her.
Her mouth fell open. “You sat in the rain just to talk to me?”
I looked at my lap for a long moment before looking back up at her. “I’d do a lot more than that for you.”
She opened her beautiful eyes and looked at me. “I know all of your quiets. I know when you’re alone with me and you’re quiet, it’s because your brain is still. And when you’re in public and you’re quiet, it’s because your brain is loud. But I don’t know this one. What’s this one?”
I held her gaze. “This one’s you.”
She snuggled into me and it was everything. My entire universe condensed to a single place and time.
“Jacob?” she whispered.
I put my nose to her hair. “What?”
“I love you.”
Even to tell her that I loved her would be something. It seemed a waste to love her as much as I did without her ever knowing it. To be unaware that her very existence was my reason for smiling, for being happy to wake up in the morning.
I wanted to die, I loved him so much. I wanted to crawl inside of him and live there. I wanted to spend the rest of my life just being with him. Adoring him. Protecting him. Living in all his quiets. A head on his shoulder in a movie theater. A kiss before bed. A cuddle in the dark. Growing old and holding his hand. Anything he wanted. Anything he needed. I wanted to be his anything.
“Jacob, I am so in love with you I can’t even stand it.”
“What?”
“I’m in love with you too. I thought you—“
“Say it again.”
“I’m…Im in love with you.”
I watched the words hit him like a physical thing, pushing the air from his lungs and filling his eyes with hope.
He closed the space between us in three long strides and gathered me to him.
“Say it again,” he whispered.
“I’m in love with you,” I gasped.
“Again.”
“I’m in love with you.”
He laughed, blinking at me through tears.
“This is real?” I asked.
He nodded. “It’s always been real.”
There’s a special peace in sleeping next to someone you love. When you slip into the dark holding them and wake up and they’re still there and you know that everything that matters is just opening your eyes away.
“She’s it, Mom. I think I knew it the moment I laid eyes on her.”