Thanks to The Author's Archive for an advanced ARC in exchange for an honest review.
If you're looking for a summary of this short novella, you get it on page 153:
I lifted the habit over my head and turned back into Caitriona Walsh, badass chick who frequented a sex club on the regular and killed every fucker who ever wronged her.
This is my first ARC and I was interested because of the various themes and the genre. I love me a dark romance and the page length was an extra incentive to add to my reading list this year.
Unfortunately, this short story read a lot more like self insertion fanfiction: Hot badass heroine with a tragic past, a double life, the ability to kill and seduce without much repercussion (no matter how much she worries about it - there was a disproportionate amount of times when luck seemed to be on her side in the presence of trained mobsters and law enforcement); Cat feels a lot like a Mary Sue. We even have a dramatic reveal of the word "angst" on page 70.
For a short story, it could use a lot of tightening up and focus. In the space of two pages, I read how "I adjusted my veil and sighed," how she had to "stifl[e] another sigh," and "suppressed a sigh."
A lot of internal processes by our FMC flip flop to the point of frustration:
Being at others' mercy, not knowing if they even knew the meaning of the word. Most of them didn't.
But I thought we didn't know?
He wasn't supposed to be here this late. And still here he was every day [...]
...so this is usual for him then? Why bother mentioning he shouldn't be there?
Plot points are thrown out randomly without any kind of segueway, confusing the narrative.
The parking lot was mostly empty when I reached my car, one I loved but rarely had a chance to use. I bought it back in the day, soon after I had my freedom back.
A freedom we don't revisit more intimately until the end of the story, in a flashback that has no anchor to a time or date.
I shouldn't have let it get this far. Not with everything at stake. My daughter. My mission. My very freedom.
It's page 150 here and this is the first time Cat mentions having a daughter. Her mission is only vaguely suggested, and her freedom is confusing (why is she staying at the nunnery? what is keeping her there? If it's just a front for what she wants to do, why is she so bitter about it?)
There were also a fair amount of incorrect or made up words in this book:
"squeeziness"
"queezy"
"shirt show"
"gabbling"
"vile" instead of "vial"
"wise" instead of "vice,"
"scuffed" instead of "scoffed"
"lounge' instead of "lungs"
"Laundry" instead of "laundromat"
"naked" instead of "asked"
"Baby food" instead of "formula"
"cheated" instead of "deceived" (as in, my ears --)
I sincerely struggled to understand some parts of this book as well:
Shane appeared in front of me like a waif and I almost flinched.
How does one...appear like a waif? And why is it so startling?
I found the letters quickly enough and took them to be flushed down the toilet.
Were these letters written on toilet paper?
I rose from scrubbing the floors, smoothing the skirt of my habit. "Detective Roark."
But he sounded anything but.
....he sounded what? He didn't even talk.
"Didn't the guy Johnson called about, also had something in his bear?"
I honestly don't know what is being said here. "File"?
And still, only half my mind was present to appreciate the beauty in front of him.
Did the speaker mean "in front of me"?
Cat also frequently refers to herself as a serial killer, which is blatantly incorrect. She doesn't match the profile, and it's unlikely that someone killing abusers and shitbags for vengeance purposes would call themselves that.
It's never clear what actually happened to our heroine, even with all of the flashbacks to her past. I think the setting misses a lot of opportunity for details to paint a picture of where we are (all we ever really know is that we're in some seedy town in New York). Cat's thought processes are so mired down with angst and trauma that we never get a clear picture of what her purpose is, what happened to her, and what she wants beyond the cliched bloody vengeance. You could argue that the mystery is meant to be the hook, but I think I need something stronger to pull me into a series, something that can make Cat seem realistic, vulnerable, and empathetic. That can't happen if she keeps her secrets from everyone, readers included.
That said, this novella had several really cool lines that shows this author's capabilities. I'd like to see more lines like:
The past was a strange thing. You could leave it behind, bury it deep, pretend it no longer had power over you. But then, a name. A face. A memory. And suddenly, the past wasn't buried at all. It was clawing at your heels, dragging you backward.
Something that was more dangerous than a lone burning cigarette butt drifting in the wind at a gas station.
Silence wasn't peace here. It was a shroud, thick with misery.
I looked up, eyes locking with hers, and saw something flicker there. Need, challenge, maybe something softer under it all.
If I wasn't careful, the whole thing would come crumbling down and I'd be left with nothing but ashes and an orange jumpsuit.
Overall, I think this novella needs another trip to an editor to tighten up some of the internal monologuing and flesh out more setting and characterization. It was a struggle to finish.