Thick Thighs, Tattoos & Breaking Taboos: How I Lost My Brother and Found Myself Again Through Running and Advocacy

by Jen Hoye

A RAW, UNFLINCHING LOOK AT GRIEF, STRENGTH, AND STARTING OVER

This isn’t a self-help book. It’s a brutally honest memoir about grief, sibling loss, mental health, and the unexpected ways running helped one woman survive the unimaginable.

When Jen Hoye lost her brother Teddy to suicide, her world shattered. In the years that followed, she turned to writing, running, humor, and unfiltered advocacy to crawl her way out of the fog. Along the way, she found purpose in the miles, power in the storytelling, and community in the people who showed up to remember and fight beside her.

Told with sarcasm, tenderness, and zero sugarcoating, this is a book for grief warriors, suicide loss survivors, mental health advocates, and anyone trying to make sense of life after loss.

138 pages, Paperback

Published June 17, 2025

About the author

Jen Hoye is a writer and mental health advocate. She’s the creator of #HealingMiles, a project honoring lives lost to suicide through running and storytelling. Jen has completed remembrances for hundreds of people worldwide and has proudly represented charities in major races, including the Boston and Chicago Marathons.

A frequent speaker on suicide prevention and mental health, Jen lives in Taunton, Massachusetts, with her family, rescue cat and dogs, and a flock of hens named Mary-Grace.

Reviews

[Jean · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book to have on your shelf when you are ready to explore your own grief after loss of a loved one. It took the author Jen considerable time to process and reconcile to her emotions when her brother Teddy died by suicide. It is not a "how to grieve" book, but you can certainly feel yourself listening intently to Jen making space for grief, however ugly and uncomfortable. She is a very talented writer, tackling the taboo of topics with directness and frankness, and including legitament laugh out loud moments. Just purchase now, even if you think you aren't quite ready to "go there". You will benefit greatly from Jens memoir and musings. Your Life Matters.

[Read, Run and Rescue · Rating 4 out of 5]

So anyone who knows me knows I am an avid reader. I read mostly smutty dark or taboo stuff. I do read other books as well self help and memoirs are usually not my genre. When I saw a runner friend of mine had written a book about her journey in grief as a survivor of her siblings suicide I had to read it. I wanted to support my online friend turned real life friend . Jen doesn’t do anything lightly she is the embodiment of go big or go home. She lives loud she loves louder. When she first started posting about her running to combat the grief over the loss of her brother I was drawn to how emotional her post were. Her trauma was real and palpable.I admired her tenacity in not letting her brother’s story go untold. We began following one another not just on a running group page but on each others personal page. We are both of Italian descent and love shenanigans .Had the pleasure of meeting her in real life and she was one of those people that you are just immediately drawn to. It was as if we had know each other are entire life’s. Our meeting was even mentioned in the book I was one of the friends at the Stubborn Mule aka Jen spirit animal! The book is a collection of her thoughts and feelings and accomplishments as she tries to keep her brother’s story going and making a difference to other survivors to let them know it’s ok to be messy and loud in your grief and that we all grieve differently and that there is no finish line when it comes to grief after losing a loved one to suicide. While I have never had to endure the pain of that loss I feel like after reading this I can try to be a comfort somewhat to someone dealing with this pain. I laughed I cried while the subject is a tragic one Jen made it bearable with her love letter to Fuckin’ Teddy ❣️

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have ever lost someone…..if you ever feel like you have to follow a template for grief…..if you ever feel alone in your loss. You aren’t. This book is real, vulnerable, painful and yet there’s a thread of hope, of honor and most of all legacy of love. It’s helped me at a perfect time in my life.

[Sandra Cordeiro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Real and raw

Just finished Thick Thighs, Tattoos, and Breaking Taboo… and wow. 💔 This book hit deep.

The way the author shares her journey of healing after losing her brother to suicide is so raw and real. She didn’t sugarcoat anything—and that’s exactly what made it so powerful. 🙏

She’s not just telling her story… she’s breaking the silence around mental health and bringing awareness to something so many people struggle with quietly.

This book is emotional, honest, and a reminder that healing out loud can help someone else feel less alone. If you’ve ever dealt with grief, loss, or mental health struggles, this one’s for you. 🖤

[Monica Forss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book. Even if your life has not been touched by suicide, this book really echoed for me the feelings I had in non-suicide losses and left me feeling less alone and more seen.
(And for those not touched by suicide, sometimes you are.....the cause just wasn't revealed in the loss)

[Shannon Peitz · Rating 5 out of 5]

So proud of you Jen.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a fellow suicide loss survivor, this is the book I needed. I related, knew I wasn't alone on my thoughts, I cried ..I laughed.

[Meridith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jen quotes Harper Lee noting "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view—until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." As an author, she did just that - she let us walk around inside her point of view for a while.

Remember to check on your strong friends. They need support too.

[Mgfusco · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing read! Jennifer Hoye takes a devastating loss , its horrible effects, and offers how she survived and continues on her personal grief journey through running ,supporting, sharing and advocating for victims of suicide,and for those who are left behind because of this growing, global devastating problem.

Moreover, Ms. Hoye shares her own personal journey downward journey and amazing rise to advocacy ,marked by brutal honesty ,tattoos and humor to offer coping skills for those affected by its effects. Her raw exposure of her own personal journey, hopefully will offer comfort, coping skills and save lives. A very difficult subject ..... superbly written.

[mathew seigler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book I needed 13 years ago…

And still do!

Jen did a beautiful job of sharing the real, raw, and often messy parts of grieving.

When I lost my brother in 2012, I looked for books that covered losing a sibling to suicide and came up short. Most things on the market at the time were about spouse, parent, or child loss. Siblings got left in the dark. This memoir hit close to home in many ways and while I ugly cried through a majority of it, her words are powerful.

You won’t regret purchasing this book. Do it now.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a captivating book of how a woman lost her brother to suicide, but allowed her true self to shine through to the world in her grief. Excellent writing. Not an easy subject - have the tissues handy when reading. Very moving.

[Rhett Landry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know Jen Hoye from the running group we both belong to and have enjoyed reading her post in the group and on her Facebook page, we have never met in person. Her book is poignant, and thoughtful. She is one of the most authentic human beings I know. In this book you will read about someone's grief, how they are dealing with it, and how you can deal with adversity in your life. There were quit a few wow moments for me that cause deep refection. This is a great book!

[Valerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book discusses real life emotions and dealing with grief of suicide loss. Jen holds no punches and tells it as it is. As a suicide loss Survivor myself, I could relate with a lot that Jen had to say, as well as other survivors that she walked for. I highly recommend following her on social media as she is a great advocate for suicide prevention.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book. Wow. Sometimes I laughed out loud and other times I cried and had to read in small doses. It brought a lot of my own grief to the surface from those I've lost to suicide, and for the first time I felt that it was ok to still be sad and so affected by their losses.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

From start to finish, I never put it down. At times I found myself laughing and yet a few paragraphs later I was crying . This is more than just a book—it’s a compassionate companion for anyone navigating the overwhelming and deeply personal journey of grief.

Jen’s honesty, vulnerability, and wisdom shine through every page. She managed to put into words what so many of us feel but struggle to express. Whether you’re currently grieving or supporting someone who is, this book offers comfort, insight, and the reminder that you’re not alone.

We all have grief in our lives for one reason or another .
It takes courage to write something so raw and real. I’m so grateful it exists, and I know it will help many others as it helped me.

[Bailey Bond · Rating 5 out of 5]

read this book if you have been affected by suicide.

i waited to buy Jen Fusco Hoye’s book until the 5y anniversary of my dear friend Dreak Scott’s death by suicide (Aug 5) but i started it (and finished it) today (Aug 8).

i found Jen on social media after i saw Dreak’s mom Toni Seaton share that she had walked a #HealingMiles for him

i’ve watched her go from a few mile walks/runs to seeing her run marathons - multiple marathons - all in the name of grief. of love. of survival.

the compilation of social media posts and diary entries that is Thick Thighs, Tattoos
& Breaking Taboos is proof that in order to rewire our brain, we must continue, we must repeat. “I’m still here”.

when i got to the last section of her book, i saw her say (paraphrasing) “these are a few of the names i have been able to walk for”. knowing that she has walked for likely thousands of people, i did not expect to see what i saw.

Dreak’s name. part of his story. on page 101. (ofc i looked up a spiritual meaning to 101 and it means new beginnings. positive changes. how did Dreak know im trying to get back on my fitness game lol. “a slow boogie is better than no boogie”)

thank you, Jen. for staying, for living, for fighting. for writing this book full of the good the bad and the ugly. to make me feel seen as a neurodivergent older sister with mental health struggles. to remind people they matter. and to somehow do it all while still trying to teach yourself the grace and compassion you show others. when i walk the AFSP walk this fall, i’ll be walking for Dreak, for every kid i’ve worked with at SMTC and at PCC - and for Teddy Fusco, Jr.

you’re a Sicilian donkey, for sure 🫏😚💞