Patient, Female: Stories

by Julie Schumacher

From the New York Times bestselling author of Dear Committee Members, a collection of wryly funny stories about ordinary women—in all their complexity, fallibility, and humanity.

An unsuspecting couple is treated to a luxury vacation by their deceased neighbor. After begrudgingly agreeing to volunteer at a nursing home, a middle school girl gambles over games of bridge with elderly residents. A single mother struggles to understand the unique bond between her autistic son and his dying grandmother. Four friends experience decades of highs and lows as pawns in The Game of Life. A professional gynecology patient runs into a high school flame while at work, undressed, on the job.

In this irreverent collection, celebrated novelist Julie Schumacher balances sorrow against laughter. Here, we experience story not only as narrative, but as syllabus and as board game. Each protagonist—ranging from girlhood to senescence—receives her own indelible voice as she navigates social blunders, generational misunderstandings, and the absurdity of the human experience. Exquisitely honest and expertly crafted, Patient, Female renders—with dark humor and wit—the foibles of human behavior and our endearing imperfections.

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction

264 pages, Hardcover

Published May 5, 2026

About the author

JULIE SCHUMACHER grew up in Wilmington, Delaware, and graduated from Oberlin College and Cornell University, where she earned her MFA. Her first novel, The Body Is Water, was published by Soho Press in 1995 and was an ALA Notable Book of the Year and a finalist for the PEN/Hemingway Award. Her 2014 novel, Dear Committee Members, won the Thurber Prize for American Humor; she is the first woman to have been so honored. She lives in St. Paul and is a faculty member in the Creative Writing Program and the Department of English at the University of Minnesota.

Reviews

[Maria Almaguer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Schumacher returns with a winning collection of short stories--my favorite genre!--with those signature one-liners that just "zing!" off the pages. "Hospital Bridge" had me laughing out loud at nearly every line. Told from the point of view of middle aged women (single, married, divorced, in a relationship), each story is just so REAL, but always lightened with humor, because life often gets very "life-y" and what can you do but laugh? If you enjoy smart writing that doesn't take itself too seriously, read Schumacher. Seriously.

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book through a Goodreads giveaway from Milkweed Editions. I don’t generally read short stories; I’m more of a novel reader. I quite enjoyed some of the stories. The two stories that I enjoyed the most are “Hospital Bridge” and “Pioneers”. I think for some of the stories that I didn’t like as much, I felt like the endings were too unresolved or nebulous. Others may enjoy these stories, but I think they just didn’t resonate with me as much. Overall I would probably rate this book a 3.5.

[Irene · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very refreshing book with short stories as a reader I wanted to read more of.

[tabitha · Rating 4 out of 5]

though i did feel it ended on a bit of a weaker note, most of these stories were enchanting and interior in a very gripping way. favorites include “spin”, “at the executioner’s table”, and “pioneers”, though everything is worth a read.

[Sarah-Hope · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am often ambivalent about short stories. I lcan be drawn to the ideas they consider, but I'm frustrated because collections can feel—well, disjointed, rushed, incomplete, overly tidy, trivial. (I'm still figuring out the words I want.) That is most definitely *not* the case with Schumacher's Patient, Female: Stories.

Schumacher's stories can deceptively seem like nothing much (this is not intended as an insult). The characters are interesting, but average, the action is never over the top. Yet, somehow, one leaves these stories impressed by all they leave behind in a reader's mind.

The analogy comes to me is that reading her stories is a bit like—well, like looking at ordinatry items through a high-powered microscope for the first time. They call to mind Hooke's Micrographia: Or Some Physiological Descriptions of Minute Bodies Made by Magnifying Glasses With Observations and Inquiries Thereupon. The ordinary becomes extraordinary, not because its essence has changed, but because one sees with more clarity and detail.

If you want to consider the complexities in the "ordinary," particularly in lives lived by women, Patient, Female is a book you'll savor.

I received a free electronic review copy of this title from the publisher via Edelweiss+; the opinions are my own.

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished “Patient, Female” and my initial feeling is that it feels as if I have lived many different lives over the course of this book. Julie Schumacher’s dexterous use of different styles and narrative voices in each story reinforces the shared consistency of the human condition throughout a diverse range of backgrounds and lived experiences. In addition, the characters who inhabit these stories are so thoughtfully and intricately developed, you forget you only met them a few pages ago. I highly recommend this book to anyone who needs a reminder that ultimately—even with our quirks and flaws—we are all just doing our best to navigate life and humanity.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book as part of a Goodreads giveaway from Milkweed Editions. The first story, "Passengers" was a doozy. It knocked me over and pulled me in. It was like a real-life nightmare... but maybe that's just because I'm a mom who overthinks everything and above all else just wants to raise decent humans... but yeah that one is going to stick with me. All of the stories were about girls/women in drastically different situations and stages of life, each with their own unique voice, ranging from emotional to reflective to laugh-out-loud funny. I really enjoyed this collection!

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Received as an ARC from a Goodreads Giveaway.
I love short stories. My first book of them was Ken Liu’s Paper Menagerie and Other Short Stories. I love how the author really brought her characters to life in such a short amount of pages. You could really connect with them even though you just barely met them. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone, especially my female reader friends. I may even suggest this to my booktok once it’s available in May!

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Patient, Female is a fantastic collection of stories filled with feelings of real life and all the struggles we're going through as women.

I'm often ambivalent about short stories, but Schumacher's stories is where the short stories take their own flight - I really enjoyed this and hope to read more literature signed by Julie Schumacher.

Thank you Edelweiss and Milkweed Editions for the DRC.

[Mariah · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic collection of short stories. The real life feelings behind how we go about life, from child to adult. The struggles of relationships and culture while being female. I related to some more than others but they were all capable of making one think.

*won from Goodreads Giveaways

[Erika · Rating 5 out of 5]

***Received an uncorrected proof copy via Goodreads Giveaways***

Loved all the stories in here, but especially Urn and How My Light Is Spent. I ended up wanting more of those stories, hoping to find them as novels someday.

[Sara]

GR wouldn't let me post a rating because it's "not published yet," well listen sometimes bookstores put things out early

4.5

"They will experience the short story as a brief immersion in the lives and experiences of others—a vehicle for insight."

Yeah

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5