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Laserblasted
Imagine Gomer Pyle as a scathing indictment of the military patriarchal industrial complex but with way more aliens and laser-inflicted explosions than the sitcom managed to achieve. Starring Brad Pitt as Gomer, directed by Sam Raimi.”
ZZ Claybourne, author of “Breath, Warmth, and Dream”
Lance Powell wants his dad back. Instead, he finds an alien blaster in the California desert.
You can’t blame the GalactiCops. The senior officer spent his previous life as a burrito influencer. The junior is so green, he still thinks the cops are the heroes. No wonder they left an escaped convict’s makeshift weapon where a dumb Earth kid could find it.
Lance wants to be worthy of California dreaming. His whole dead-end town calls him a loser.
He’s spending his last high school summer thinking, and that’s not how we do things in Saint Reagan’s America. He knows there’s a better way but the valley library doesn’t fill its closet, the TV’s edgiest show is Leave It To Beaver, and the Reverend Mekratraeg’s radio station dedicates itself to praising Greedy Jesus. He’s got an awesome girlfriend, Katrina, but old John Wayne matinees don’t teach you a damn thing about how to treat a woman. Fortunately, that escaped alien convict still haunts Lance’s blaster and he’s got all kinds of advice.
Lance needs to be a hero in the worst way. The worst way waits with open arms.
If the GalactiCops don’t recover the blaster, the Swordian League for Responsible Human Ranching will have their hides. The Man In Black (just the one, government cutbacks after all) who deals with alien incursions knows that saving the world means that tomorrow is just like today. And if the school jerk doesn’t stop leaning on Katrina, Lance will teach him a lesson with more than fists…
Aliens! Explosions! The fate of the world, and the power of love.
Lucas brings you a blast-from-the-past outrageous sci-fi romp alchemized from the worst of ‘70s cinema, but with a way better soundtrack
ZZ Claybourne, author of “Breath, Warmth, and Dream”
Lance Powell wants his dad back. Instead, he finds an alien blaster in the California desert.
You can’t blame the GalactiCops. The senior officer spent his previous life as a burrito influencer. The junior is so green, he still thinks the cops are the heroes. No wonder they left an escaped convict’s makeshift weapon where a dumb Earth kid could find it.
Lance wants to be worthy of California dreaming. His whole dead-end town calls him a loser.
He’s spending his last high school summer thinking, and that’s not how we do things in Saint Reagan’s America. He knows there’s a better way but the valley library doesn’t fill its closet, the TV’s edgiest show is Leave It To Beaver, and the Reverend Mekratraeg’s radio station dedicates itself to praising Greedy Jesus. He’s got an awesome girlfriend, Katrina, but old John Wayne matinees don’t teach you a damn thing about how to treat a woman. Fortunately, that escaped alien convict still haunts Lance’s blaster and he’s got all kinds of advice.
Lance needs to be a hero in the worst way. The worst way waits with open arms.
If the GalactiCops don’t recover the blaster, the Swordian League for Responsible Human Ranching will have their hides. The Man In Black (just the one, government cutbacks after all) who deals with alien incursions knows that saving the world means that tomorrow is just like today. And if the school jerk doesn’t stop leaning on Katrina, Lance will teach him a lesson with more than fists…
Aliens! Explosions! The fate of the world, and the power of love.
Lucas brings you a blast-from-the-past outrageous sci-fi romp alchemized from the worst of ‘70s cinema, but with a way better soundtrack
237 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 1, 2025
2 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
June 30, 2025
Aliens...lasers...B Movies...oh my!
If I remember correctly, this book started out as an April Fool's prank; at any rate it's a satire on the 1978 movie Laserblast, which is (according to the author, I haven't seen it) *terrible.* Not "so bad it's good" terrible, but just terrible.
The author decided to make a version of the story that wasn't awful and succeeded. It's short, pulpy, fast-paced, just the right amount of nonsense, well-written, and reflects the fact that the owner has a soul, even if he regrets it sometimes.
Recommended if you like B movies, pulp fiction, pew pew pew, and/or Terry Pratchett.
If I remember correctly, this book started out as an April Fool's prank; at any rate it's a satire on the 1978 movie Laserblast, which is (according to the author, I haven't seen it) *terrible.* Not "so bad it's good" terrible, but just terrible.
The author decided to make a version of the story that wasn't awful and succeeded. It's short, pulpy, fast-paced, just the right amount of nonsense, well-written, and reflects the fact that the owner has a soul, even if he regrets it sometimes.
Recommended if you like B movies, pulp fiction, pew pew pew, and/or Terry Pratchett.
December 24, 2025
Thank whatever deity that you pray to that Michael W. Lucas wrote this book so you don’t have to watch the movie Laserblast. Now, after reading this hillarious story featuring the beats of that awful movie you might be tempted to watch it.
DON’T DO IT!
The movie is so bad that well known pie enthusiasts have been unable to eat desserts for weeks. Lucas has created a great sci-fi story, the kind which should have been made into a movie. Sadly, this is not the case. Read the book. Smile. Then go about your daily life knowing that you have consumed the best possible version of this tale and avoided wasting 80 minutes of your life on a film so bad that even Roddy McDowell and stop motion animation couldn’t make it worth watching.
DON’T DO IT!
The movie is so bad that well known pie enthusiasts have been unable to eat desserts for weeks. Lucas has created a great sci-fi story, the kind which should have been made into a movie. Sadly, this is not the case. Read the book. Smile. Then go about your daily life knowing that you have consumed the best possible version of this tale and avoided wasting 80 minutes of your life on a film so bad that even Roddy McDowell and stop motion animation couldn’t make it worth watching.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews