Growing Up Saved: When Loving God Feels Like Losing Yourself

by Kristen LaValley

What do you do if the faith that raised you seems to fail when you need it the most?

Kristen LaValley grew up a church kid through and through. She said “the sinner’s prayer” before she could write her name—and spent the next few decades trying to prove she meant it; in a body that couldn’t rest, with a mind she didn’t yet understand, under a God she was afraid to disappoint. She learned to perform the kind of faith that got one that hid pain and swallowed questions.

But in the thick of depression, spiritual exhaustion, and a late ADHD diagnosis, she found herself wondering if the faith she’d built her life on could really hold her.

In Growing Up Saved, Kristen maps the slow undoing of a faith formed in certainty and what it took to find God in the middle of her unraveling.

In these pages, you’ll find authenticity, empathy, and compassionate theology as you to find your way through a faith that was formed in fearthe intersection of trauma, mental health, neurodivergence, and spiritual identitythe healing work of making peace with your body, your mind, and your storya path for those navigating life after disillusionment, burnout, religious trauma, or painThis book isn’t a call to give up on faith. It’s an invitation to hold it differently. With tenderness, grit, and humor, Kristen offers a hard-won way through grief and grace to a messy, holy rebuilding.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Faith, Christian, Christian Living, Biography Memoir

232 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 3, 2026

About the author

Kristen LaValley is a writer and storyteller whose words offer a refreshing perspective on faith and spirituality and resonate with those who carry tension in their faith. She offers insights that intersect doubt and belief, hope and suffering, beauty and heartache. With a deep love for the Christian faith and a willingness to explore its complexities, Kristen's writing offers nuanced conversations that challenge readers to think deeply and wrestle with important questions. Kristen lives in Massachusetts with her husband, Zach, and their five children.

Reviews

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing Up Saved is a sigh of relief. Kristen took a weight off my shoulders I didn’t even know I was carrying.
So many times, I found myself saying: “I agree, but I didn’t know I was allowed to say that!” There are many thoughts and feelings I’ve had over my lifetime that I’ve squashed down because it didn’t fit properly into the type of Christian that I thought I had to be.
My biggest takeaway from this book is that it is okay to question, to change my mind, and to disagree. I can do all these things and still be safe AND loved by God.

[Rebeca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book has been like sitting on a couch next to a friend and swapping stories of how our pain has shaped us. I've remembered many painful church stories and cried as the stories in this book held me. I've also reminisced and laughed about some of the things I said or did as an early 2000s church kid and I've whispered "me too" as I've read some of Kristen's more lighthearted passages.

Spiritual and religious trauma has changed and shaped me in many ways over the past few years, but what a relief it is to know that I am not alone. Reading that I do not have to be defined by my "church hurt" has been a welcome reminder. What a gift it is to have people like Kristen who help pave the way for the hurting and those scorned by the church in order for us to walk in wholeness and authenticity as we navigate our own journeys of deconstruction, regardless of where we may end up.

If you've suffered at the hands of the church, I am sorry. I believe you. I can't recommend this book enough. It's been a therapeutic read and a comfort to me. Thank you to Kristen for pulling up chairs for those of us who are broken and hurting. You've embodied the gospel message in a beautiful and inspiring way.

[Kait · Rating 3 out of 5]

So much of this book followed parellel to my life and experience and where my faith kind of is right now. She rambles a bit in spots and its not as cohesive as it could be, but I appreciated the honest hopeful look for those of us deconstructing that are still staying in the church.

[Jen Bradbury · Rating 3 out of 5]

I expected to like this one a lot more than I did. I resonated with a lot of Kirsten’s story. I loved this idea and will be thinking about it for a long time: “the worst thing you can be as a Christian woman is disruptive.” But in the end, most of this one just felt a little blah for me.

[Rachel Hicks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured this newest book from Kristen LaValley. As part of her launch team, I received early access to the audiobook and it's so good! I loved hearing Kristen tell her own stories. In the book, Kristen shares her journey of "growing up saved." She shares about the spiritual trauma she experienced at multiple stages of life and the spiritual malformation she experienced growing in the height of charismatic, conservative 90s Christianity. But through it all she shares a story of God's redeeming, never-failing love. A story of accepting she is worthy of that love just as she is and the freedom that comes from that. This book is filled with so many nuggets of truth. It's written for anyone who has experienced spiritual trauma, anyone who grew up in Y2K Christianity, and anyone who wants to have a better understanding of the deep love God has for you just as you are. No matter where you are on your journey of faith or if you have no faith at all, there is something for you in this book. Also the chapter titles are fire with all the cliche 90s/00s Christian puns!

[Victoria Love · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a book. Truly. I listened to the audiobook, and the moment it was over started searching for where I can buy a physical copy so I can mark it up and claim some of Kristen’s revelatory statements as personal affirmations. There were so many things that hit me square in the gut, as a born and raised “pentebaptist” (coined by my mother) who is now reconciling the faith I was taught with the faith I possess. I’ll be sitting with this one for a WHILE.

[AshleyReadThat · Rating 5 out of 5]

A timely book for all of us who grew up thinking The Left Behind series was nonfiction 😅

Just kidding. Sort of.

Full of relatable and freeing thoughts and anecdotes. If you’ve ever said you are “deconstructing” your faith, this book will resonate.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I preordered this book because I was convinced I would want to own and reread it. And I was correct. There are whole sections I want to soak in until the words become a true to me as my own name. That may sound dramatic, but I 100% mean it. Seriously, 6 stars out of 5. ⭐️

[Emily Werger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my goodness. I see so much of myself in this book. This book is going to be freeing for so many people!

[Hannah Pedrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

I "grew up saved" around the same time Kristen did, and my parents were also in full-time ministry in the conservative evangelical church. To me, this book feels like the honest and authentic experience of someone who deeply experienced the harm of that world and has also fought hard to keep a faith she now finds beautiful and healing. If that is your story too, I think you will find this book to be a warm, funny, and hopeful companion. If you have experienced the harm of that belief system, but have not chosen to stay in the Christian faith, I think you will find that Kristen works hard to make this book as safe, respectful, and compassionate as possible. And, if like me, you're somewhere in between, I think you will find Kristen to be a friend you wish you could sit down and share a coffee with. Her voice and perspective is hard-fought and needed, and I'm glad this book exists.

[Barbara Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

There’s a question I’ve been wrestling with for decades, practically ever since God saved me…

How can I be expected to love my neighbor well when I hate myself?

Over the years, I’ve asked friends this question. The conversations have been varied, sometimes shallow, other times deep, but never once have I received what I considered to be a satisfactory, or helpful, answer. Mostly, I’ve received pity. But now, I have an answer.

The short answer is: you can’t.

The longer answer is deep and nuanced, and can be found in Kristen LaValley’s latest book, Growing Up Saved (GUS). In GUS, Kristen shares reflections on her lived experiences from childhood, through her youth in the Church, to present day. With hard-fought, and earned, wisdom, she combines those experiences with what she’s learned from scripture in order to share her journey from self-hatred to freedom in Christ. Kristen tells the truth of what she’s learned in a much needed and gracious way. She writes in the language of her Father, the language of love.

Throughout the book, Kristen brings up how God deals with his children who are sometimes (or, like, all the time, save Jesus) disobedient in the bible. An example Kristen uses that I truly appreciate is Adam and Eve. Kristen points out that after they each partake of the forbidden fruit, God does not give them the silent treatment. Nor does he show up wagging a disappointed finger in their direction. He calls for them, wanting to walk with them, asking for their explanation of what transpired.

But wait! What about God’s justice??? Consequences of sin??? Don’t worry. Kristen goes on to demonstrate how Adam and Eve had to face the choices they had made (expulsion from the Garden, anyone?) which leads me to believe she’s well acquainted with the justice of God. In previous decades, and even in our current Christian culture, I fear we’ve swung the pendulum too far to the side of God’s wrath. In GUS, Kristen attempts to balance the pendulum back to seeing all aspects of God’s character. Both/and rather than either/or.

Because we’ve dealt so much with God’s wrath, we think he’s after us, disappointed in us, ashamed of us which causes us to hate ourselves as we strive to be perfect. We act as if God has these high and mighty expectations of us, that he somehow doesn’t remember that he made us human. That if we fall short just one more time, that’s it. Or maybe that’s just me. What we fail to remember is that all fall short… *and* he loves us, unconditionally. Full stop. Kristen is here to remind us all of God’s kindness to, and love for us.

I would rather learn to err on the side of grace, to err on the side of love, both to myself and then to others. Kristen provides an example of how this is done, and quite frankly, I find it refreshing and inspiring.

If a lot of us were a tad bit more honest, I think many of us would admit that we know God loves us rationally, biblically, but transferring that knowledge to our hearts is hard. It almost feels risky. Like if we were to do this, we’d be greasing up that slippery slope. Don’t worry, Kristen addresses the slope, too.

Listen, this is a journey that I continue to be on…to learn to love myself the way that God loves me so that I may love God and neighbor well. I have yet to step into the full freedom of loving myself the way that God loves me. But now, with the help of Kristen’s gracious words in GUS, I know that it’s possible because I’ve seen it happen to her, in her. Of course, we all know that anything is possible with God, but I wonder if we truly believe it. Thank God that Kristen was willing to put pen to paper to provide us with a tangible, modern-day example.

Though in years lived, I’m older thank Kristen; in Christ, I am younger than her. I am grateful that she is a leader among us willing to stand up vulnerably, speak the truth honestly, and be a light to guide us on the path to the abundantly, unconditionally, freely loved life in Christ.

“For such a time as this” aren’t words solely reserved for Esther. I truly believe that GUS is most needed at this moment. I believe that Kristen was put here in this culture at this time in order to be a lighthouse for the rest of us. GUS is an edifying word for the post-modern American evangelical church context, and beyond. It is the breath of fresh air that is required to provide the energy we need to move forward as brothers and sisters under the banner of Christ.

Read Growing Up Saved to discover that you can have the abundant life and live freely in Christ now. Read Kristen’s words and learn from her example of how to accept how very much God loves you, of how to love him back, and then go out and love your neighbor well. If each of us who claim Christ were able to do this, oh, what a world it would be.

[Stephanie Mccall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I put Growing Up Saved on my wish list months before it came out. In the ensuing time, I found Even If He Doesn't, and after reading it, I knew I had found a spiritual soul sister in Kristen LaValley. Growing Up Saved only cemented this.

Kristen is one of those women who, at first blush, I couldn't believe how much we had in common. It blew my mind at times. Of course, our exact experiences are different--vastly, at times. But what struck me was that at first, I thought, "Okay, this is a book about church trauma and obvious, "big" traumas I haven't experienced. Therefore, it may not be for me." But as with Even If He Doesn't, Kristen proved me wrong again. I often say I'm happy when a book or author proves me wrong, and Growing Up Saved was no exception.

Growing Up Saved does deal with what's been casually called "church hurt." Yet underneath that, underneath all the "obvious" connotations, is the story of the deeper "church" hurt that evangelical culture perpetuates, often with the best intentions. What I love though, is that this book is not bitter about those realities. It doesn't encourage deconstruction or what I've called "leaving Jesus in the junk pile." If anything, Growing Up Saved encourages gentle, but pointed confrontation about "evangelical truths" that are not in the Bible and frankly, God has nothing to do with.

For instance, Kristen spends a lot of time talking about our emotions and minds, and how these are not meant to be "spiritually bypassed." Faith is essential yes, but it is not ungodly to acknowledge emotions, call them good, or help the chemicals in our brains out with therapy, meds, or as Kristen puts it, help that's helpful even if it's not what we were "taught" to get. Scripture is precious and integral. But "throwing verses" at real chemical and emotional issues, or "throwing verses" at a disabled or neurodivergent Christian who hates herself because she feels like a spiritual flop, will never be helpful.

As one such disabled, neurodivergent Christian, there were times when I had to physically disengage from this book because I was so close to torrential tears. (Not that there's anything wrong with those; I personally just wasn't ready). Kristen's words for this population in particular are nothing short of a balm. But don't make the mistake of thinking, Growing Up Saved is a feel-good, kum-ba-yah type of book. Kristen's words and experiences also challenged me deeply in some personal, hard places, such as self-hatred and my relationship with my body.

I will admit, some of Kristen's points feel a little scary, still. They fly in the face of a lot, if not everything, I was ever taught (e.g., I thought I had to accept this idea, "I am a rotten person" because, how else would I learn and remember that I was a sinner? How else would I show Jesus His due respect, or take the cross seriously? Well, it turns out I can still do all that--was still *doing* that. If anything, I was being deceptive, perverse, and disrespectful by hating what God loves.

I'm not done with the journey Growing Up Saved started, not by a long shot. However, I can heartily recommend this book. I thank Kristen, and God through her, for what this book helped me with, and I want to stay in that space. If you're looking for a way forward that honors your faith, that doesn't rely on deconstruction or make you feel dumb or traumatized beyond hope, Growing Up Saved is for you. It will break your heart, but it will also fill you with hope.

[Nick Minerva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Growing up in the IFB movement definitely lead to a lot of church hurt and spiritual trauma. Add on to that the reality of being a neurodivergent kid in the 90’s and early 2000’s and I was left with an extra layer of confusion and hurt. Leaving that world in my mid 30’s left me with so much to learn and unlearn. To say it’s been a journey would be an understatement. Kristen LaValley’s book Growing Up Saved serves as a guide and gives language for people who are on that same journey. She walks her readers through her story of church hurt and spiritual trauma, learning about her own neurodivergence, and how she navigated it all. Books like this can end up being heavy and depressing but Kristen does a great job keeping the book hopeful and even fun despite the often difficult theme. One of the reasons this book remains so hopeful is Kristen tells her story without any bitterness or contempt. This is crucial when it comes to actually healing and I appreciate it very much. Bitterness is so toxic to the nervous system.

Now, I have to be honest, some parts of this book were difficult to read. Surprisingly it wasn’t the parts about spiritual trauma, church hurt, or the unique ways they impact us neurodivergent types. That made me feel seen. It was the parts about God’s unconditional love. So much of that language was used by people who caused the hurt in my life and it was used as an excuse to avoid accountability. Reading that was definitely a trigger to my already highly sensitive, autistic self. It’s one of the reason’s my healing journey has led me away from the church. But I appreciated how it wasn’t used to erase hurt or trauma, or used as a magical band-aid that should provide instant healing.

There was also many, many parts of this book that resonated with me on a deep level. I really get it when it says those of us who are on the deconstruction journey feel like “we are trying to hold on to God when nothing we’ve been taught about him feels true anymore.” When Kristen talks about “spiritual hyper-vigilence” or how holiness must equate to seriousness I was like “hey, she’s talking about me!” When she says “certain faith frameworks encourage so much denial of self-and even death of self-that our erasure is elevated over our refinement” I felt seen in ways I haven’t before. Over the last two years Ive just started “un-erasing” and I finally feel like I’m starting to be myself. It’s these moments of feeling seen and understood that make this book shine and why I recommend it to you.

I was fortunate to be able to read an advanced copy of this book through NetGalley. Hope you enjoy!

[Wendy Blankinship · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.0⭐️ Really enjoyed Growing Up Saved which is a book about the messages the author internalized when she was growing up in a faith that made her feel miserable and anxious and made her feel that God was cruel. She says in the book that she “wanted to show that Faith doesn’t have to feel like suffocation. You can love God and follow him without feeling like you’re being crushed by him” Basically she never realized that God loved and delighted in her. She began to hate herself and she thought God hated her too.


LaValley does a great job exploring how performance and shame-based faith can make you feel like God is always disappointed. She talks about metabolizing this way of thinking about God, and essentially began to hate herself, fear the Lord and just be generally terribly unhappy . I didn’t grow up in this, but I’ve definitely been around it at times (especially as someone who came to faith as a young adult in the 90s and Homeschooled my kids in the 2000s)), so a lot of it still resonated. I loved her emphasis that in Christ we’re already loved and can move forward in sanctification from that place. Romans 5:8 We are beloved from the beginning.

At times it may felll like she overcorrects a bit and downplays the role of sin and repentance, but I don’t think she really meant it that way. She recognizes that we sin/that we are sinners. She recognizes that we’re broken. She is now just shifted just seen herself as loved by God even the midst of that brokenness

overall it’s a really thought provoking read.

Example of what feels like overcorrection or unbiblical statement when taken out of context text of her thought process-

Page 159 “God is joyfully conspiring fir your good. Not to get you, not to TEACH you, not to harm you, not to bargain with you, not…” (emphasis added)

My take….Of course God wants to teach and instruct us- that is biblical … I think she’s reacting against a Christianity that felt like everything was a lesson, everything was discipline, and that God was constantly pointing his finger in disappointment.

[Catherine E. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading a book written by Kristen LaValley is like sitting with a dear friend who gets you. She gives words to the spiritual harm that you’ve experienced both in the church and in your home. Growing Up Saved is an honest and vulnerable telling of her life in the American Evangelical Church. She tells a story of how our personhood becomes shaped by a theology that tells us, “God withholds his love and goodness until we meet his expectations of perfection.” “We believe if I make good choices, I will be loved. If I make bad choices, I will be hated.”

We live our lives, trying to perform… filled with shame and fear. When we can’t measure up, we believe a narrative about God and ourselves that isn’t true. Kristen invites us to see that we are deeply loved by God, even in our messiness. She invites us to experience and live out of our true identity in Christ as his beloved.

Growing Up Saved is a raw, honest and delightfully funny book. If you have suffered spiritual harm, or know someone who has, come grab a seat with Kristen and let her words be a balm to your weary soul.

[Olivia L. Gold · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this as an ARC from the publisher.

First of all, I am a huge Kristen fan. Her words have been a balm to my soul through some challenging moments in my life. My faith has changed a lot over the past few years, and once upon a time, I would have been terrified about the things I've wrestled with.

But the more I read Kristen's words, the more I find comfort in knowing I'm not alone in this faith walk and that sometimes good intentions by others leave scars in us later on.

This book is such an encouraging read. I would say that this is for you if you've ever struggled with your faith, with believing that God not only loves you but likes you, that your flaws and differences are bad or evil. If you've felt like too much or too little or too disruptive, this is for you.

If you need to feel seen, this book is for you.

Kristen's words are life-giving, and I'm so grateful for the books she has put into the world.

[Sarah K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing Up Saved is a hopeful, encouraging, thoughtful book on a difficult subject - the consideration of how our upbringing, pain, trauma, loss, and more have shaped us and our current spiritual life. Kristen LaValley writes with hope, empathy, and humor to make readers feel less alone on the journey. Though I could not relate to all of her experiences, the way she shares her life and her desire to pursue faith and the Lord despite the hardship of her story is absolutely lovely. Reading about her healing makes me hopeful for the same in my life and the lives of those around me. This book is very readable but I made a conscious effort to read it slowly in order to better absorb the message thoughtfully.

Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for this eARC. All opinions are my own.

[Naia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve loved Kristen LaValley’s work for a long time, but this book resonated on so many levels.

I, too, grew up saved (3rd generation in the denomination in which both sides of my family were raised), and this newest LaValley addition has been poignant balm to the soul. I saw myself in so many of her anecdotes and thought patterns that I kept looking over my shoulder to ask, “How did she know?”

This book gave voice to many of the things I’d tried to say but couldn’t articulate, or considered but lacked the courage to say out loud.

Would recommend for anyone looking to rediscover a version of their faith that isn’t fueled by shame and sanctified self-hatred—a faith that honors their humanity as God-given, acknowledges their dignity as an image-bearer, and starts with the story of a God who so loved the world…

[Kori]

Revisiting and unpacking religious trauma from my childhood? Also not on my to-do list for 2026. But I guess that’s what happens in therapy.. 😆

For years, I’ve avoided, laughed off, or minimized how much my experiences in the church shaped my beliefs, my body, and the way I move through the world. This book didn’t let me do that. It gently (and sometimes uncomfortably) held up a mirror.

I deeply appreciated LaValley’s willingness to share stories of shame, hurt, and confusion with such openness. There were moments I felt seen in a way that caught me off guard, and others that made me physically 😬 not because they weren’t true, but because they hit close to something I’ve spent a long time avoiding.

I won’t be giving this a star rating. It feels too personal, too tangled up in lived experience to reduce it to that.

[Savvy_ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing Up Saved: When Loving God Feels Like Losing Yourself by Kristen LaValley is a beautiful memoir and reminder of God’s love for each of us even when we are going through church hurt, mental illness, or deconstruction. She deftly handles difficult topics with the light of hope. This is exactly the book I needed to read right now, and it will be one I revisit often. There are so many quotes that lend themselves to journaling that I would love to see a corresponding guided journal from LaValley based on the content in this book. I highly recommend this book! I am thankful to have received an ebook advanced reader copy from Tyndale House Publishers/Tyndale Momentum via NetGalley for voluntary review. I look forward to purchasing a print copy as soon as it is released!

[Sarah Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Deconstruction" has become a Big Scary Word within the American Church. There are many, many reasons for the number of people deconstructing, but one is that some churches/theologies are not safe for everyone. In this book, Kristen explains the many ways that the church harmed her and how she clawed her way to a healthier theology. She also explains how many of the harms she experienced were from people who truly loved her and had no idea that they were being harmful. Having been raised in the Church myself, I found much of this book very relatable and comforting. If you were raised in the Church and are becoming aware of the ways that it harmed you and you're barely holding on to your faith, this is the book for you.

[Claudia Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing up saved has the words to the experiences many of us have lived but struggled to articulate.

This book gently unravels the complexities of a faith that can sometimes feel inherited for those of us that grew up in the church. Kristen helps us with the tension of knowing God and truly trusting and believing in His character as a loving Father vs the God that so many of us learned to fear.

It’s relatable and doesn’t rush you through healing but creates space for you to process. It’s a reminder that we can have a true relationship with God, and this is something He actually delights in having with us.

This book is like an extended coffee date with a friend that ends with a long hug!

[Jen Van Kommer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! It's kind of blowing my mind how much Kristen LaValley's story is MY story. And if you were a millennial evangelical kid, it's probably YOUR story too.

This book unpacks the complicated feelings we have about "growing up saved." There were some definite good times...youth camps + conferences, spiritual highs + defining faith decisions. And don't get me started on the very specific music that brings back all the nostalgia (dcTalk, Audio Adrenaline, Relient K, just to name a few). *Pro Tip: There's actually a "Growing Up Saved" Spotify playlist to accompany this fantastic book! 🤩*

So yes, there were positive things + fun memories...but there was also A LOT of baggage we took away from that intense time of Wednesday/Friday/2x Sunday church. Things like the church's hyperfocus on sin, or the unchecked spiritual abuse we accepted as normal and even "biblical."

This book is somehow able to take the happy IYKYK nods to Christian culture and make it an amusing throwback, but also be honest and serious about the traumas we endured being part of particular faith traditions. (You know the stuff...the vivid depictions of hell, the fear of getting "left behind," the craziness of purity culture, etc).

Kristen's nuanced perspective of faith is both healthy + healing, and this book is full of hard fought wisdom (see her first book, Even If He Doesn't).

I'm so excited to see this book out in the world!

This is the kind of book you buy 2 copies of: One physical copy to keep on your bookshelf because you can't help but underlining everything + one copy to give to those high school and college friends who you know will read this and say "Same!!!"

Grown up church kid, this is your next read!

[Grace Khoma · Rating 5 out of 5]

The message that kept being repeated every chapter, every page— “you are beloved.”
Listening to it felt like one of those real hugs—the regulating, firm hug from the father who sees you and knows every part of you. Full of stories I relate to as a 90s PK/MK. Funny, cringy, hard… Kristen writes of painful, complex topics and experiences with SO much love… love for God, for the church, and for herself. Listening to her own voice read it was everything, and every word is part of the beautiful testimony of what God desires for each of us. Through trauma, questions, deconstruction and reconstruction— “you are loved, safe, and free.”

What a gift you are, Kristen.

[Kailey Spilger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hold my coffee while I pause to give this book 5 stars before I’m done with it. Have you ever wanted to be friends with the an author? Well, whether she knows it or not, we’re friends now 😆 I went into this book nervous it would put a spotlight on spiritual trauma without providing any real help. What I’ve found is not only a connection due to similar past experiences with church, but also a kindred spirit in someone who has also found the truth of who God is on the other side. I appreciate that she uses scripture and good doctrine in all her support. This has been an incredibly healing book for me to read.

[Hannah Hughes · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I had to break up with Christian culture to fall in love with Jesus again.”
Rarely have I felt this seen and understood through a book. As someone who grew up striving to be a "good Christian girl" and is now an adult who is healing from the effects of that era, this book is both timely and touching. Kristen unpacks the reality of church hurt, unresolved trauma, and the bad theology we didn't realize was impacting our view of God, others, and even ourselves. This book beautifully exposes lies, validates pain, and invites believers into a deeper faith in our real, present, loving God. Highly recommend!

[Sara Curren · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book came across my Instagram feed, and without much context, I’m not even sure why I picked it up. Within the first few chapters, I quickly realized that the denomination she grew up in and was referencing was the same as the one I grew up in, even if it was never specifically named.

While I can’t say I 100% agree with all of her points, I can say that I have never felt more seen by a narrator. This book would have been exactly what I needed to hear in late high school or early college, as I started to question what I had always been taught growing up.

“Faith was never as easy for me as it seemed to be for other people. I hated myself for that.”

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve highlighted half the book

I’m pretty picky when it comes to highlighting, but there’s no way to avoid highlighting so many profound statements and concepts in Growing Up Saved. I just finished reading it through for the first time and I am so exited to go back and read through of these highlights again. Although I wish the nasty an difficult things didn’t have to happen, I’m so thankful how Kristen has reconciled shame, acceptance, love, and faith (and so much more) in a way that reconstructs Christianity but still with Jesus at the center. We need more examples like her story. I’m incredibly thankful for this book!

[Lindsay Monaghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who knew they were a sinner before anything else, and who had normal child development, trauma responses, and neurodivergence disciplined out of her… this book felt like a hug. There’s just enough nostalgia and humor to make really important things not feel quite as heavy.

“I thought self-loathing was the appropriate response to a holy God.” It’s like Kristen has read my teenage journals. Like, what do you mean God isn’t just tolerating me until I can get my act together??

I so wish little me could have known that holy doesn’t have to hurt, but I’m so grateful to Kristen and the role her writing has played in healing those wounds.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5, because it wasn't exactly what I was thinking it would be about, and yet it seemed to be a good book for many others to read. I have known many many neuro-divergents in my lifetime, and for anyone with ADHD, depression, PTSD, victim of spiritual trauma or doubts in faith, this book is for you. I am not saying I don't fit in to any of those labels, because I do, but in an era where mental health is so evident, there are many books that already address these issues, but probably not as well as this book does.