No One Talks About This Stuff: Twenty-Two Stories of Almost Parenthood

by Kat Brown, Stella Duffy

Alongside Kat Brown, contributors include Alice Jolly ('Dead Babies and Seaside Towns'), Laura Barton (journalist and author of 'Sad Songs'), Seetal Savla (@savlafaire), Yvonne John (Gateway Women, 'Dreaming of a Life Unlived'**), Alice Rose** (@thisisalicerose, The Fertility Life Raft podcast) and Nana-Adwoa Mbeutcha (Black Mums Up Front podcast). In 2020, the journalist and writer Kat Brown was told, after years of trying and two IVF rounds, that it was unlikely that she would ever have a biological child of her own. Nothing had prepared her for this outcome. Suddenly, something that seemed to her a given - that she would one day have a family; that IVF would, eventually, work - was taken away. With that came a very particular kind of grief - a new language to navigate and an uncertain landscape to explore. She knew she was not the only person to have experienced this loss and yet it wasn’t a loss she felt was publicly acknowledged. There were, she realised, many losses and griefs like this. She found that personal stories of IVF struggles, of trying for children but never conceiving, of choosing to have them or not, of miscarriage, of infertility, of baby loss, were hard to find. People endured, but how they endured was not something that was being shared, or passed down. In this anthology, she invites writers to explore how they navigated these losses, lives and in-between states, in order to reach out a hand to anyone needing it now and say, ‘You have done so well, and you don’t have to go through this alone.’

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays

304 pages, Paperback

Expected publication January 13, 2026

Reviews

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although things have improved since loss, infertility and permanent childlessness entered my life 20-25+ years ago, there's still a cloak of silence when it comes to public discussion of these matters in the broader culture.

"No One Talks About This Stuff: Twenty-Two Stories of Almost Parenthood" is a welcome addition to the growing body of literature shedding light on these difficult subjects. The collection was spearheaded, crowdfunded and edited by British journalist Kat Brown. "This is the book that I wish I'd found in the bookshops when my husband and I were trying for a baby," she writes in the introduction.

The 22 writers -- women and men, mostly British -- who contributed personal essays (including some names familiar to me, such as Jody Day, Yvonne John and Stella Duffy, as well as others new to me) form a diverse group covering a broad range of reproductive experiences. If pregnancy loss, abortion, infertility, disenfranchised grief and/or childlessness are part of your story, you will find something here you can relate to! I loved them all; it would be very hard to pick a favourite, although I did think that Jody Day and Stella Duffy's essays, coming first and last, were the perfect bookends for the rest of the content. One (very) small quibble: I would have liked to see the two essays written by a wife and husband about their lost pregnancy placed back to back in the book -- but as I said, that's a very small quibble. :)

**Content warning:** Some of the writers already had living children before the losses they write about here, and some of them did eventually become parents.

Brown has helpfully included a "trigger index" at the back of the book -- covering everything from abortion to trisomy 2 mosaicism -- that readers can consult if there are particular scenarios they might find difficult to read about. There are also lists of resources (albeit most of them are U.K.-based).

**Disclosure(s):** I was among those who contributed to crowdfunding the publication of this book, and my name is included in a list of "Supporters" at the back. In exchange for my contribution, I received an e-copy in early March, and a paperback copy a week or so later. :) It was published in the U.K. and Australia on March 21st, with e-versions available in Canada and the U.S. via Kobo and Amazon on that day as well. Paper copies will be out July 2nd in the U.S., and July 12th Canada.

[Daniella Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

"No one talks about these things because they belong to each of us utterly individually – in sharing them we can offer each other another possibility of belonging." Stella Duffy's closing essay sums up the value of No One Talks About This Stuff, a book which sensitively brings together a diverse range of voices and experiences of 'almost-motherhood'.

I pledged for this book back in 2022, knowing loved ones who had struggled with infertility and loss, thinking it was much-needed and would be important. What I hadn't realised was that by the time this book dropped through my letterbox, I would have also joined the club. I tried to ration its contents but found myself whipping through the pages, often feeling as though a writer had somehow seen inside my head. From the exhaustion of trying make others feel more comfortable, to the sense of pressure to emerge somehow 'changed' or 'improved' from experiences of loss, the range of contributors have managed to capture a nuanced picture which many will relate to, and others will find useful to help relate to others. It's a shame this didn't exist when I first needed it, but I'm glad it exists now and will be there for those navigating these issues in future. What a gift Kat Brown has given the world with this book.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel less alone today, having finished this book, than I have in the 7 years of our journey.
Hearing voices that just get it, that say the sometimes ugly things that no one wants to hear, feels like being really truly seen in a way that doctors, friends and family just haven't been able to understand.
Thank you so much to every single voice in this book.

[Teresa Hav · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ich erwartete ein Buch über Menschen, die ihren Kinderwunsch nicht erfüllen konnten. Die Essays waren spannend zu lesen und gewähren private Einblicke, gleichzeitig kamen für meinen Geschmack zu viele Paare vor, die dann doch noch eine Familie gründen konnten. Aufgrund der Buchbeschreibung war dies nicht absehbar, daher wurden meine Erwartungen nicht ganz getroffen.

[Simplymegy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a collection of essays written by various authors who have struggled with infertility, pregnancy loss, and childlessness. A support group in a book is truly what this was, offering solace to others who may feel isolated in their own struggles.

I loved that no two stories were alike, each voice was unique, deeply authentic, and special. Some narratives closely mirror the experiences of other people, while others describe their journeys as less familiar. Nevertheless, every story is equally valid and profoundly important to share.
A truly moving, well curated anthology.

[Heather Browning · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so great to read, because like they say, no one talks about this stuff, and it can be confusing and isolating. It’s a book of stories and reflections on infertility, miscarriage, baby loss, and childlessness, from people who understand that just because you really want something, just because you try your hardest, doesn’t mean that you’ll get it in the end. People who understand how deeply you can grieve for something you never really had (even if maybe you almost did) and what it’s like to try and build an alternative life for yourself in the after. Recommend for anyone who is or has gone through any of this, or anyone who knows someone who has and wants to understand them better.

[Victoria Ford · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was very refreshing to find shared sentiments in many of the essays in this collection. Although everyone's stories and experiences were very different, the common themes of love and grief were universal. I'm so grateful that this book exists, and thankful to each of the brilliant writers for sharing so openly and vulnerably. I hope it helps other people going through loss and infertility feel less alone.

[NoMo Book Club · Rating 5 out of 5]

This much-needed anthology outlines the often unspoken experiences and emotions around attempting to have children. Described as a support group for almost-parents, there is much here to help people who are in that place. Every story recounts some of the most vulnerable moments of life and each page resonates with the most complex feelings that a person can encounter - as well as a sense of hope from those who have come through the other side of these experiences.

Whilst many of the writers sharing their stories have eventually gone onto be parents (both biologically and in other ways), there are also well-known names from the childless community - including Jody Day, Yvonne John, Stella Duffy and Kat Brown herself. This provides the balance and truth that is needed in narratives around having children, as we don’t all reach the happy ending that society likes to focus on.

The book aims to stop the silence, shame or hesitation around these topics - people experiencing them suffer enough without having to worry about offending or concerning those around them, let alone wider society. Kat and the other contributors have begun a conversation that will hopefully continue long after readers close the final pages of this inspirational book.

Just to add, there is a lot of potentially difficult material here, but Kat Brown has been enormously thoughtful in adding a Trigger Index that you can check.

[Andy]

I'm not giving this a star rating. I can't rate people's personal experiences. It seems callous.

It's a book I'm glad I read, and would happily never read again.

Some of it clarified my own thoughts and feelings.
Some of it resonated with my own experiences.
Some of it opened up old wounds.

I'm glad it exists. I wish it didn't speak to me like it does.

[August Schiess · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book to gain some different perspectives, and I did. Twenty-two incredibly courageous stories.

[Laurie Burns · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Missa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this book in a few short hours. Thank you to Kat Brown and the contributors for courageously sharing their stories.