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Butt Babes in Boyland
The holidays are a time for visiting with family and friends, and sharing tales of peace, childlike innocence, and good will towards all mankind. These are not those stories. Instead, sit back and allow yourself to be regaled with the colorful adventures of toy-themed parties with a twist, the future of Elf Enforcement, misfit sex toys at the North Pole, the mysterious Workshop 69, special delivery packages, and a serious case of potentially mistaken identity. This year, the Butt-thology authors cordially invite you to join them in creating a new tradition.
This holiday season, it’s not just turkeys getting stuffed!
This holiday season, it’s not just turkeys getting stuffed!
- GenresAnthologiesHolidayHumor
239 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 3, 2014
21 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
December 24, 2014
The Half Life Of Pumpkin Pie - Shae Connor
A nice, cute, sexy read about a lonely, somewhat malcontent dude, and a baker who makes the pie lonely dude takes to Turkey Dinner. I giggled when the toy party turned out to be a different kind of toy party, but I believed the budding relationship.
4 stars!
Elf Confidence - Kiernan Kelly
This novella was full of quotable lines, such as this one:
Or this one, when Zook finds an elf reading a book:
Also, this novella marks the first appearance of a character named McJingles.
It was a hilarious read and I giggled and LOL'd quite a bit. There's talk of conspiracies, a bit of romance between Zook, the supervisor at workshop 69 (*giggles*) and his love interest Roger, wooden soldiers with large, ahem, dicks, an unhappy Mrs. Claus trying to overthrow her husband - all of it super fun, super entertaining and super not-serious.
5 stars!
It's A Wonderful Lube - Kage Alan
The one I had been looking forward to the most, knowing Mr. Alan's propensity for intelligent, tongue-in-cheek humor, this delivered at a level beyond my expectations.
From the first page, where we're reading a recruitment for Santa Holdings Incorporated Technologies (S.H.I.T), to the sweet ending, this novella took me on a ride (*giggles*) with magic, snark, sarcasm, wit, and a hot (and funny) romance between Wesley, a security intern for the North Pole, and Ethan, who's the son of Santa and Mrs. Claus, and the love of Wesley's life. There are horny elves, an HR rep who is dumb as a brick, references to JP Barnaby novels, and tons of snark that made me laugh out loud.
5 stars!
Overnight Delivery - Jevocas Green
Justin works in a toy store and has a hot fantasy about Kent, a man/boy doll with a figure Justin can only envy. Kent is exactly how he wants a lover to look. McJingles returns in this novella as the delivery of a magic dildo for the anatomically incorrect doll. Justin has to work overnight to unpack the dolls, and with a bit of magic, his fantasy comes to life. Hot smexing ensues, but when the sun comes up, the magic cock falls off, and Kent leaves Justin with a magic dildo and a piece of advice. I didn't fully connect with the character and thought he was too hung up on looks instead of seeing what was right in front of him. Also, and I can't believe I'm saying this, most of the novella was taken up by sexing. With a doll come to life.
3.5 stars!
The Isle Of Misfit Sex Toys - J.P. Barnaby
There are six toys sitting in a circle, discussing their lot in life, in the utility closet of Santa's workshop, all of them cast-off misfits toys supposed to have been thrown in the junk pile. Bob, or BOB, is the one who rescued them all from being tossed and sort of their leader. He's a robot designed to fulfill a single purpose (I'm sure you can guess which), but no longer fully functional. Then we have B-B-B-Buzz, a personal massager. He'd like to control his stutter. Wally and Ben, two shiny spheres, are afraid of being separated. Also, Dil, the dildo, terrified of the dark. A severed head, Candy, who snarks and bitches a lot.
Their dream is to escape the utility room and become real toys, going out into the world. The novella tells the story of how they accomplish just that.
With tongue in cheek, J.P. delivers a fun yet poignant story. 1/2 star deducted because of an editing issue where Candy becomes Cindy. Twice.
4.5 stars!
For Fox's Sake - T.C. Blue
McJingles is in this one too - he's a busy dude! This was a nice, heartwarming and mysterious story about a supernatural fox (Yoshi) mated to an elf (Nick), and the shenanigans of Yoshi's family to separate them. Yoshi is being kept prisoner but escapes at last from his captors. What ensues is Yoshi trying to find his place in the world again, catching up with changes in technology, and rekindling his mating bond with Nick. Yoshi has been abused, and it takes him some time to come to grips with trusting Nick again, just as it takes Nick time to wrap his head around the fact that Yoshi did not abandon him, but rather was put under a spell that made him forget everything.
It's a lovely tale, and fully deserving of the 4 stars it received.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher. A positive review was not promised in return.
A nice, cute, sexy read about a lonely, somewhat malcontent dude, and a baker who makes the pie lonely dude takes to Turkey Dinner. I giggled when the toy party turned out to be a different kind of toy party, but I believed the budding relationship.
4 stars!
Elf Confidence - Kiernan Kelly
This novella was full of quotable lines, such as this one:
Zook's deep voice thundered, rattling every nerve in the room and literally scaring the crap out of the reindeer. The stench of fresh reindeer dung joined the odor of bitter smoke permeating the workshop.
Or this one, when Zook finds an elf reading a book:
Fifty Shades of Elf. Zook had tried reading it once, but when he found himself wanting to punch the heroine's Inner Goddess in the head just three pages in, that was the end of that.
Also, this novella marks the first appearance of a character named McJingles.
It was a hilarious read and I giggled and LOL'd quite a bit. There's talk of conspiracies, a bit of romance between Zook, the supervisor at workshop 69 (*giggles*) and his love interest Roger, wooden soldiers with large, ahem, dicks, an unhappy Mrs. Claus trying to overthrow her husband - all of it super fun, super entertaining and super not-serious.
5 stars!
It's A Wonderful Lube - Kage Alan
The one I had been looking forward to the most, knowing Mr. Alan's propensity for intelligent, tongue-in-cheek humor, this delivered at a level beyond my expectations.
From the first page, where we're reading a recruitment for Santa Holdings Incorporated Technologies (S.H.I.T), to the sweet ending, this novella took me on a ride (*giggles*) with magic, snark, sarcasm, wit, and a hot (and funny) romance between Wesley, a security intern for the North Pole, and Ethan, who's the son of Santa and Mrs. Claus, and the love of Wesley's life. There are horny elves, an HR rep who is dumb as a brick, references to JP Barnaby novels, and tons of snark that made me laugh out loud.
5 stars!
Overnight Delivery - Jevocas Green
Justin works in a toy store and has a hot fantasy about Kent, a man/boy doll with a figure Justin can only envy. Kent is exactly how he wants a lover to look. McJingles returns in this novella as the delivery of a magic dildo for the anatomically incorrect doll. Justin has to work overnight to unpack the dolls, and with a bit of magic, his fantasy comes to life. Hot smexing ensues, but when the sun comes up, the magic cock falls off, and Kent leaves Justin with a magic dildo and a piece of advice. I didn't fully connect with the character and thought he was too hung up on looks instead of seeing what was right in front of him. Also, and I can't believe I'm saying this, most of the novella was taken up by sexing. With a doll come to life.
3.5 stars!
The Isle Of Misfit Sex Toys - J.P. Barnaby
There are six toys sitting in a circle, discussing their lot in life, in the utility closet of Santa's workshop, all of them cast-off misfits toys supposed to have been thrown in the junk pile. Bob, or BOB, is the one who rescued them all from being tossed and sort of their leader. He's a robot designed to fulfill a single purpose (I'm sure you can guess which), but no longer fully functional. Then we have B-B-B-Buzz, a personal massager. He'd like to control his stutter. Wally and Ben, two shiny spheres, are afraid of being separated. Also, Dil, the dildo, terrified of the dark. A severed head, Candy, who snarks and bitches a lot.
Their dream is to escape the utility room and become real toys, going out into the world. The novella tells the story of how they accomplish just that.
With tongue in cheek, J.P. delivers a fun yet poignant story. 1/2 star deducted because of an editing issue where Candy becomes Cindy. Twice.
4.5 stars!
For Fox's Sake - T.C. Blue
McJingles is in this one too - he's a busy dude! This was a nice, heartwarming and mysterious story about a supernatural fox (Yoshi) mated to an elf (Nick), and the shenanigans of Yoshi's family to separate them. Yoshi is being kept prisoner but escapes at last from his captors. What ensues is Yoshi trying to find his place in the world again, catching up with changes in technology, and rekindling his mating bond with Nick. Yoshi has been abused, and it takes him some time to come to grips with trusting Nick again, just as it takes Nick time to wrap his head around the fact that Yoshi did not abandon him, but rather was put under a spell that made him forget everything.
It's a lovely tale, and fully deserving of the 4 stars it received.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher. A positive review was not promised in return.
January 3, 2015
Note: This book was provided to me by the publisher through Hearts on Fire Reviews in exchange for an impartial review.
This anthology provides readers with hours of great elf-related entertainment!
The Half Life of Pumpkin Pie by Shae Connor
A nice short story about a young man who buys two pumpkin pies at the local bakery to take to a friend’s house. He’s disappointed that someone else brought a more elaborate dessert and his friends didn’t eat all of his pie. But the next day when the baker contacts him about a problem with his credit card, he discovers that they have more in common than love of a piece of pie. Cute, sexy, and a great start for this couple who just might find their HEA someday.
Elf Confidence by Kiernan Kelly
A really fun story about Zook, the manager of Workshop 69 at the North Pole who is totally disgusted after an explosion in the basement of his workshop. All the other elves make fun of this workshop because only sex toys are made there, and they never make it onto Santa’s sleigh. But sales from this workshop actually support Santa’s whole enterprise. Zook suspects the Society for Elf Morality, Education and Normality (SEMEN) is behind the explosion and seeks out Roger, the head of the Elf Satisfaction Department to file a complaint. Together they get to the source of the explosion and other problems and along the way they discover that they have more in common than they thought, and head off to get into some trouble of their own! Cute story, very imaginative, and with a sweet romantic element.
It’s a Wonderful Lube by Kage Alan
I found it difficult to get into this story since there didn’t seem to be any romance at first and, in fact, I couldn’t figure out who the MCs might be. But it was full of puns and one-liners and would tickle the average funny bone. Around mid-point, Wesley Lee, a security intern, broke into the cemetery where Santa’s son Ethan was buried and, armed with a spell he got from the infamous TC Blue, brought Ethan back to life. Apparently he had died exactly 100 years before and Wesley had to take his one and only chance to awake his star-crossed lover. They’d been communicating on an astral level for years but now had a chance for a real life romance. To be honest, I never did really get into the story, making it difficult to actually enjoy it. It was too convoluted and difficult to follow. I think perhaps the author put too many characters into too few pages— this one might have worked better if there had been more time to set up the MCs and establish the romance.
Overnight Delivery by Jevocas Green
This is a cute story about Justin Scott, a young man who is so unsure of himself that he puts off asking out Xander, a guy he really likes. Just as he’s all set to end his dry spell by going clubbing with friends where Xander will be hanging out, his boss makes him stay at work at the toy store overnight to receive a shipment of life-size dolls. Mr. McJingles, an elf, shows up to demonstrate how a glowing magic dildo will work to bring the doll to life, allowing Justin and Kent (the doll) to spend an enjoyable night having sex. The next morning, Xander comes into the store with a cup of coffee for Justin and when they kiss, Justin realizes that his new self-confidence is now going to make his dreams come true.
The Isle of Misfit Sex Toys by J.P. Barnaby
This is a very entertaining story about Relph, a very lonely, sex-starved elf, and Bob, a.k.a. Battery Operated Boyfriend, a dysfunctional sex toy whose master died in a terrible accident in the gift wrap machine many, many ago. Since that time, Bob can’t get hard, so he hasn’t had sex, but he catches Relph’s eye, literally, when Relph accidentally ejaculates on him as he’s masturbating to pass the time on the assembly line. Bob was out there as a scout for his group of friends— misfit toys that are trying to find a way to get onboard Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve. Relph does some research after letting Bob get away and discovers not only who/what Bob is but also what Bob needs to be able to have sex. He also helps Bob assist his misfit toy friends to get smuggled aboard Santa’s Christmas run. Among all the things I enjoyed about this story, one of the most unique was the clever way the author took ordinary names and converted them to elf names – Christelpher, Adelph, Relph, etc. This one was a great story with lots of humor and a sweet romance too.
For Fox Sake by T.C. Blue
Yet another fun story in this anthology of elf tales, this one was longer and more complex than the rest. The author did a great job world-building and tells us the story of Yoshi, a young man (fox shifter/Kitsune) who escapes from the Vixen Prime who has held him hostage for thirty years. He’s found and brought back to the home of Nick, an elfin being who is actually Yoshi’s mate, though Yoshi has no memory of him and Nick doesn’t know the story behind Yoshi’s disappearance and is not sure whether he should forgive him. The reasons for his capture and disappearance and the healing from the trauma make up the major points of the story with a little side romance for Nick’s friends, Pol and Jeff, thrown in. Could be a sequel there some day! All in all, this one was very well done and made a great capstone to the anthology.
This anthology provides readers with hours of great elf-related entertainment!
The Half Life of Pumpkin Pie by Shae Connor
A nice short story about a young man who buys two pumpkin pies at the local bakery to take to a friend’s house. He’s disappointed that someone else brought a more elaborate dessert and his friends didn’t eat all of his pie. But the next day when the baker contacts him about a problem with his credit card, he discovers that they have more in common than love of a piece of pie. Cute, sexy, and a great start for this couple who just might find their HEA someday.
Elf Confidence by Kiernan Kelly
A really fun story about Zook, the manager of Workshop 69 at the North Pole who is totally disgusted after an explosion in the basement of his workshop. All the other elves make fun of this workshop because only sex toys are made there, and they never make it onto Santa’s sleigh. But sales from this workshop actually support Santa’s whole enterprise. Zook suspects the Society for Elf Morality, Education and Normality (SEMEN) is behind the explosion and seeks out Roger, the head of the Elf Satisfaction Department to file a complaint. Together they get to the source of the explosion and other problems and along the way they discover that they have more in common than they thought, and head off to get into some trouble of their own! Cute story, very imaginative, and with a sweet romantic element.
It’s a Wonderful Lube by Kage Alan
I found it difficult to get into this story since there didn’t seem to be any romance at first and, in fact, I couldn’t figure out who the MCs might be. But it was full of puns and one-liners and would tickle the average funny bone. Around mid-point, Wesley Lee, a security intern, broke into the cemetery where Santa’s son Ethan was buried and, armed with a spell he got from the infamous TC Blue, brought Ethan back to life. Apparently he had died exactly 100 years before and Wesley had to take his one and only chance to awake his star-crossed lover. They’d been communicating on an astral level for years but now had a chance for a real life romance. To be honest, I never did really get into the story, making it difficult to actually enjoy it. It was too convoluted and difficult to follow. I think perhaps the author put too many characters into too few pages— this one might have worked better if there had been more time to set up the MCs and establish the romance.
Overnight Delivery by Jevocas Green
This is a cute story about Justin Scott, a young man who is so unsure of himself that he puts off asking out Xander, a guy he really likes. Just as he’s all set to end his dry spell by going clubbing with friends where Xander will be hanging out, his boss makes him stay at work at the toy store overnight to receive a shipment of life-size dolls. Mr. McJingles, an elf, shows up to demonstrate how a glowing magic dildo will work to bring the doll to life, allowing Justin and Kent (the doll) to spend an enjoyable night having sex. The next morning, Xander comes into the store with a cup of coffee for Justin and when they kiss, Justin realizes that his new self-confidence is now going to make his dreams come true.
The Isle of Misfit Sex Toys by J.P. Barnaby
This is a very entertaining story about Relph, a very lonely, sex-starved elf, and Bob, a.k.a. Battery Operated Boyfriend, a dysfunctional sex toy whose master died in a terrible accident in the gift wrap machine many, many ago. Since that time, Bob can’t get hard, so he hasn’t had sex, but he catches Relph’s eye, literally, when Relph accidentally ejaculates on him as he’s masturbating to pass the time on the assembly line. Bob was out there as a scout for his group of friends— misfit toys that are trying to find a way to get onboard Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve. Relph does some research after letting Bob get away and discovers not only who/what Bob is but also what Bob needs to be able to have sex. He also helps Bob assist his misfit toy friends to get smuggled aboard Santa’s Christmas run. Among all the things I enjoyed about this story, one of the most unique was the clever way the author took ordinary names and converted them to elf names – Christelpher, Adelph, Relph, etc. This one was a great story with lots of humor and a sweet romance too.
For Fox Sake by T.C. Blue
Yet another fun story in this anthology of elf tales, this one was longer and more complex than the rest. The author did a great job world-building and tells us the story of Yoshi, a young man (fox shifter/Kitsune) who escapes from the Vixen Prime who has held him hostage for thirty years. He’s found and brought back to the home of Nick, an elfin being who is actually Yoshi’s mate, though Yoshi has no memory of him and Nick doesn’t know the story behind Yoshi’s disappearance and is not sure whether he should forgive him. The reasons for his capture and disappearance and the healing from the trauma make up the major points of the story with a little side romance for Nick’s friends, Pol and Jeff, thrown in. Could be a sequel there some day! All in all, this one was very well done and made a great capstone to the anthology.
January 14, 2023
4.5 Stars ~ Having already experienced 'Butt Pirates in Space', and 'Butt Ninjas from Hell', it's a no-brainer to assume I was, of course, going to read this latest anthology, 'Butt Babes in Boyland'. I'm not sure what it says about me that I'll, apparently, read anything that begins with 'Butt', and most certainly by these writers. So, come join me on another fun-filled adventure.
The Half Life Of Pumpkin Pie by Shae Connor
I empathized with Wil, right from the starting gate. Well, on one point, at least. I'd hate my name, too, if it was Wilbur. Much better to go by Wil. What are some parents thinking? Okay, sorry, I deviated. Anyway, Wil is adorable. In fact, in Vin's eyes, he describes him as "All legs and arms, he looked like a cross between a newborn racehorse and a Muppet, in all the most adorable ways." Vin has spent months eyeing Wil, trying to figure out if he's gay, so Vin can ask him out. Well, after a klutzy accident by Wil in Vin's bakery, Vin convinces Wil to accompany him to this toy party. You know, the kind where you bring a toy to donate, and then you spend the evening playing? Like, an homage to childhood?
Yeah, no. These are adult toys, and lots of them. Poor Vin. He finally got the cute guy he's been eyeballing to go out with him, and they're faced with a table full of dildos, butt plugs, handcuffs, paddles, etc. Luckily, after the initial shock, Wil laughs. A lot. And says, "It sure brings new meaning to 'thank you for coming'!" At which point I practically snorted my water out of my nose. Thank you, Shae!
A wonderful start to this holiday anthology!
Elf Confidence by Kiernan Kelly
Follow along with me, people. Workshop 69. The blacklisted, at least by other elves, toy workshop because they make adult toys. But their products get sold year round and help fund all the rest of the North Pole. Do they get any respect? Heck, no. Master Zook is tired of it, Roger, and his Society for Elf Morality, Education, and Normality. S.E.M.E.N., in other words. (Yes, I've been giggling since this story began.)
When Zook and Roger put their heads together (both of them, in fact), they discover a malicious plan to set up Roger, and S.E.M.E.N., while simultaneously getting rid of Workshop 69. There's a lot of action, ending in a magnificent climax of epic proportions. Yes, people, the pun was intended. And you'll never guess who the evil mastermind was behind the plot.
Kiernan, you had me laughing throughout this story. Thank you, so very much!
Please find my full review at Rainbow Book Reviews
The Half Life Of Pumpkin Pie by Shae Connor
I empathized with Wil, right from the starting gate. Well, on one point, at least. I'd hate my name, too, if it was Wilbur. Much better to go by Wil. What are some parents thinking? Okay, sorry, I deviated. Anyway, Wil is adorable. In fact, in Vin's eyes, he describes him as "All legs and arms, he looked like a cross between a newborn racehorse and a Muppet, in all the most adorable ways." Vin has spent months eyeing Wil, trying to figure out if he's gay, so Vin can ask him out. Well, after a klutzy accident by Wil in Vin's bakery, Vin convinces Wil to accompany him to this toy party. You know, the kind where you bring a toy to donate, and then you spend the evening playing? Like, an homage to childhood?
Yeah, no. These are adult toys, and lots of them. Poor Vin. He finally got the cute guy he's been eyeballing to go out with him, and they're faced with a table full of dildos, butt plugs, handcuffs, paddles, etc. Luckily, after the initial shock, Wil laughs. A lot. And says, "It sure brings new meaning to 'thank you for coming'!" At which point I practically snorted my water out of my nose. Thank you, Shae!
A wonderful start to this holiday anthology!
Elf Confidence by Kiernan Kelly
Follow along with me, people. Workshop 69. The blacklisted, at least by other elves, toy workshop because they make adult toys. But their products get sold year round and help fund all the rest of the North Pole. Do they get any respect? Heck, no. Master Zook is tired of it, Roger, and his Society for Elf Morality, Education, and Normality. S.E.M.E.N., in other words. (Yes, I've been giggling since this story began.)
When Zook and Roger put their heads together (both of them, in fact), they discover a malicious plan to set up Roger, and S.E.M.E.N., while simultaneously getting rid of Workshop 69. There's a lot of action, ending in a magnificent climax of epic proportions. Yes, people, the pun was intended. And you'll never guess who the evil mastermind was behind the plot.
Kiernan, you had me laughing throughout this story. Thank you, so very much!
Please find my full review at Rainbow Book Reviews
February 10, 2015
This collection of six novellas all has the same basic theme, holidays and sexual or potential sexual relations. Not that there is anything wrong with that. The last time I had to do a collection I did each story by itself write review, grade, and go to next. While my other review mates lumped together, learned my lesson, so I will give an overview of all six, as a collection if you want a quick lunch read these are perfect. All about twenty – twenty five pages or so, sexy but not overly hot all sweet with a HEA. All made me smile, couple made me laugh. I enjoyed reading a couple of authors I’ve never read before. And now that I have will be looking up more of their work.
I was given this book in exchange for an honest review by Crystals Many reviews
I was given this book in exchange for an honest review by Crystals Many reviews
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