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I Got Baptized But Can’t Stop Selling Kewchie
I Got Baptized But Can’t Stop Selling Kewchie
By JR Chitlins
Tawanda Monet Davis got baptized on Sunday… and was back selling seductively spiritual content by Monday.
In this hilarious, raw, and unfiltered satire from viral author JR Chitlins, we follow Tawanda’s wild journey from church pews to viral fame. After a dramatic baptism goes unexpectedly viral, Tawanda becomes the face of a controversial new movement—mixing ministry with monetization, praise with profit, and sermons with soft lighting and lace-fronts.
Soon, she’s hosting luxury poolside baptisms, launching “holy hoe” merchandise, and turning confessions into paid subscriptions. But as the checks roll in and her platform explodes, one question grows louder than the what happens when God stops watching… and starts acting?
Equal parts spiritual satire and hood fairytale, I Got Baptized But Can’t Stop Selling Kewchie is a bold, laugh-out-loud tale about influence, temptation, and what happens when you try to rebrand holiness in a hot-girl era. Funny, thought-provoking, and unapologetically ratchet, this book proves that the road to redemption might come with a ring light—and a warning.
Perfect for fans of Quan Millz, Blame It On Kway, and anyone who’s ever side-eyed church folks while still saying grace.
By JR Chitlins
Tawanda Monet Davis got baptized on Sunday… and was back selling seductively spiritual content by Monday.
In this hilarious, raw, and unfiltered satire from viral author JR Chitlins, we follow Tawanda’s wild journey from church pews to viral fame. After a dramatic baptism goes unexpectedly viral, Tawanda becomes the face of a controversial new movement—mixing ministry with monetization, praise with profit, and sermons with soft lighting and lace-fronts.
Soon, she’s hosting luxury poolside baptisms, launching “holy hoe” merchandise, and turning confessions into paid subscriptions. But as the checks roll in and her platform explodes, one question grows louder than the what happens when God stops watching… and starts acting?
Equal parts spiritual satire and hood fairytale, I Got Baptized But Can’t Stop Selling Kewchie is a bold, laugh-out-loud tale about influence, temptation, and what happens when you try to rebrand holiness in a hot-girl era. Funny, thought-provoking, and unapologetically ratchet, this book proves that the road to redemption might come with a ring light—and a warning.
Perfect for fans of Quan Millz, Blame It On Kway, and anyone who’s ever side-eyed church folks while still saying grace.
53 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 22, 2025
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
May 15, 2026
I enjoy this story
Everything is not ok to make money god names or baptized ......it should called got baptized and still selling kewchie
Cause thats was giving
Everything is not ok to make money god names or baptized ......it should called got baptized and still selling kewchie
Cause thats was giving
Displaying 1 of 1 review