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Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes: The Story of Women in the 1950s
In Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes, Virginia Nicholson tells the story of women in the 1950s: a time before the Pill, when divorce spelled scandal and two-piece swimsuits caused mass alarm.
Turn the page back to the mid-twentieth century, and discover a world peopled by women with radiant smiles, clean pinafores and gleaming coiffures; a promised land of batch-baking, maraschino cherries and brightly hued plastic. A world where the darker side of the decade encompasses rampant prostitution, a notorious murder, and the threat of nuclear disaster.
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes reconstructs the real 1950s, through the eyes of the women who lived it. Step back in time to where our grandmothers scrubbed their doorsteps, cared for their families, lived, laughed, loved and struggled.
This is their story.
Turn the page back to the mid-twentieth century, and discover a world peopled by women with radiant smiles, clean pinafores and gleaming coiffures; a promised land of batch-baking, maraschino cherries and brightly hued plastic. A world where the darker side of the decade encompasses rampant prostitution, a notorious murder, and the threat of nuclear disaster.
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes reconstructs the real 1950s, through the eyes of the women who lived it. Step back in time to where our grandmothers scrubbed their doorsteps, cared for their families, lived, laughed, loved and struggled.
This is their story.
384 pages, Hardcover
First published March 5, 2015
28 people are currently reading
979 people want to read
About the author
Virginia Nicholson
13 books67 followersVIRGINIA NICHOLSON was born in Newcastle-upon-Tyne in 1955. Her father was the art historian and writer Quentin Bell, acclaimed for his biography of his aunt Virginia Woolf. Her mother Anne Olivier Bell edited the five volumes of Virginia Woolf’s Diaries.
Virginia grew up in the suburbs of Leeds, but the family moved to Sussex when she was in her teens. She was educated at Lewes Priory School (Comprehensive). After a gap year working in Paris she went on to study English Literature at King’s College Cambridge.
In 1978 Virginia spent a year living in Italy (Venice), where she taught English and learnt Italian. Returning to the UK in 1979 she re-visited her northern childhood while working for Yorkshire Television as a researcher for children’s programmes. In 1983 she joined the Documentary department of BBC Television.
In 1988 Virginia married screenwriter and author William Nicholson. Following the birth of their son in 1989, Virginia left the BBC and shortly afterwards the Nicholsons moved to East Sussex. Two daughters were born in 1991 and 1993.
Living in Sussex, Virginia became increasingly involved with the Trust that administered Charleston, home of her grandmother the painter Vanessa Bell, in due course becoming its Deputy Chairman. Her first book (co-authored with her father) CHARLESTON: A Bloomsbury House and Garden was published by Frances Lincoln in 1997. In 1999/2000 she made a ten-city tour of the USA to promote the book and Charleston itself.
In November 2002 Viking published AMONG THE BOHEMIANS - Experiments in Living 1900-1939 to critical acclaim. Its publication by Morrow, USA in February 2004 was followed by a sell-out lecture and publicity tour round five American cities.
SINGLED OUT - How Two Million Women Survived Without Men After the First World War, was published in August 2007. In this latest book Virginia Nicholson has set out to tell the stories of a remarkable generation of women forced by a historic tragedy to reinvent their lives. Singled Out received a spate of enthusiastic reviews which applauded it as a pioneering and humane work of social history. The work on this book was combined with her continuing commitment to the Charleston Trust.
Virginia grew up in the suburbs of Leeds, but the family moved to Sussex when she was in her teens. She was educated at Lewes Priory School (Comprehensive). After a gap year working in Paris she went on to study English Literature at King’s College Cambridge.
In 1978 Virginia spent a year living in Italy (Venice), where she taught English and learnt Italian. Returning to the UK in 1979 she re-visited her northern childhood while working for Yorkshire Television as a researcher for children’s programmes. In 1983 she joined the Documentary department of BBC Television.
In 1988 Virginia married screenwriter and author William Nicholson. Following the birth of their son in 1989, Virginia left the BBC and shortly afterwards the Nicholsons moved to East Sussex. Two daughters were born in 1991 and 1993.
Living in Sussex, Virginia became increasingly involved with the Trust that administered Charleston, home of her grandmother the painter Vanessa Bell, in due course becoming its Deputy Chairman. Her first book (co-authored with her father) CHARLESTON: A Bloomsbury House and Garden was published by Frances Lincoln in 1997. In 1999/2000 she made a ten-city tour of the USA to promote the book and Charleston itself.
In November 2002 Viking published AMONG THE BOHEMIANS - Experiments in Living 1900-1939 to critical acclaim. Its publication by Morrow, USA in February 2004 was followed by a sell-out lecture and publicity tour round five American cities.
SINGLED OUT - How Two Million Women Survived Without Men After the First World War, was published in August 2007. In this latest book Virginia Nicholson has set out to tell the stories of a remarkable generation of women forced by a historic tragedy to reinvent their lives. Singled Out received a spate of enthusiastic reviews which applauded it as a pioneering and humane work of social history. The work on this book was combined with her continuing commitment to the Charleston Trust.
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April 1, 2022
This is one of the best nonfiction I have read in a long time and was so easily getting absorbed by the women's lives and stories. I never really understood the fascination of the 50's. Like the astesthic is cool and all. And I absolutely don't understand it after reading this. I feelt so bad for women in the 50's. The writing and research was superb and even if I have had problems focusing on "heavier" reads this was definitely a great read
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August 11, 2015A long, more fleshed-out look at this book can be found at my online reading journal here -- otherwise, carry on.
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes focuses on the lives of women in the UK from both working-class and privileged backgrounds during the 1950s. Using a number of different sources -- diaries, interviews, memoirs, archives, newspapers, periodicals, the web etc., -- Virginia Nicholson offers her readers a very up-close and personal look at how women dealt with "some of the conflicting pressures and strains under which they lived" during this decade. For some women, it was a time of "ambitions, dreams and fulfillment," while for others, their stories combine to present a "narrative of fears, frustrations and deep unhappiness." It is a spellbinding read; I hated having to put this book down for any reason.
Nicholson examines the "tug of war" that was the "daily reality" of life for women during this decade. As she notes, it was
It is through most of these stories of "fears, frustrations and deep unhappiness" that the author skillfully finds a connection between these women -- from factory workers to debutantes presented at court to Princess Margaret -- that of being hemmed in by their family backgrounds or the expectations of society. These women faced a number of "conflicting pressures and strains," encountered through sexism, class pressures, the reality of married life based mainly on the expectations of their spouses, and in the case of an immigrant from Jamaica, the realities of racial prejudice.
One of the most interesting sections in this book is on education: since "society had determined that woman's place was in the home," and that "getting your man" was mattered most, a great deal of emphasis in a young woman's education went into preparing them in skills appropriate to their married futures. For example, many girls had to take classes in such useful courses as "dairying, horticulture, cookery, dressmaking, mothercraft, and housecraft." Some girls from "segregated working-class communities" such as mining villages in the northeast, were lucky if they could overcome their parents' ideas that education was wasted on girls, since "They only get married." As the author notes, for these families,
Yet, even for those who managed to make their way through university, the prevailing point of view was that educated women were "NOT sexy," or even perhaps "spinsters or (whisper it) lesbians."
And speaking of gay women, Nicholson also touches on these women who had to fly "under the radar" because of the "almost pathological fear of lesbianism" that existed during these times. In one case, a woman was committed to an "insane asylum" where after having confessed that she "had feelings for women," was sent for "aversion therapy," that "wrecked her for months."
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes also reveals a decade full of women's angst and emotional turmoil from the highest echelons of British society on down the ladder. The author quotes widely from several women she interviewed (and from other sources, many of these interviews and diaries) and adds in her own commentary to build a picture of the decade. She makes it clear that while some women seemed happy with their marriages and their lives, there were plenty of others who were not. She also manages to incorporate how communities were built among women for friendship and for support. But, as Nicholson also reminds us, the sixties were right around the corner, and things were on the verge of looking up -- and many of these same women laid the groundwork for a better life ahead for the next generation.
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes is a captivating read. There are parts of this book where the author sort of rambles, and I felt several times that it could have been pared down quite a bit, but overall, it's a really good, well-written social/cultural history that I couldn't put down. I'm not from the UK, but the book certainly held my undivided attention and kept me turning pages.
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes focuses on the lives of women in the UK from both working-class and privileged backgrounds during the 1950s. Using a number of different sources -- diaries, interviews, memoirs, archives, newspapers, periodicals, the web etc., -- Virginia Nicholson offers her readers a very up-close and personal look at how women dealt with "some of the conflicting pressures and strains under which they lived" during this decade. For some women, it was a time of "ambitions, dreams and fulfillment," while for others, their stories combine to present a "narrative of fears, frustrations and deep unhappiness." It is a spellbinding read; I hated having to put this book down for any reason.
Nicholson examines the "tug of war" that was the "daily reality" of life for women during this decade. As she notes, it was
"between society and the individual, prohibition and permissiveness, conformity and independence, passivity and ambition. Between identity -- and the empty shell."
It is through most of these stories of "fears, frustrations and deep unhappiness" that the author skillfully finds a connection between these women -- from factory workers to debutantes presented at court to Princess Margaret -- that of being hemmed in by their family backgrounds or the expectations of society. These women faced a number of "conflicting pressures and strains," encountered through sexism, class pressures, the reality of married life based mainly on the expectations of their spouses, and in the case of an immigrant from Jamaica, the realities of racial prejudice.
One of the most interesting sections in this book is on education: since "society had determined that woman's place was in the home," and that "getting your man" was mattered most, a great deal of emphasis in a young woman's education went into preparing them in skills appropriate to their married futures. For example, many girls had to take classes in such useful courses as "dairying, horticulture, cookery, dressmaking, mothercraft, and housecraft." Some girls from "segregated working-class communities" such as mining villages in the northeast, were lucky if they could overcome their parents' ideas that education was wasted on girls, since "They only get married." As the author notes, for these families,
"Educational deprivation was cyclical; stay-at-home mums lacked the vision or understanding to see how better schooling might advantage daughters otherwise fated to follow in their footsteps."
Yet, even for those who managed to make their way through university, the prevailing point of view was that educated women were "NOT sexy," or even perhaps "spinsters or (whisper it) lesbians."
And speaking of gay women, Nicholson also touches on these women who had to fly "under the radar" because of the "almost pathological fear of lesbianism" that existed during these times. In one case, a woman was committed to an "insane asylum" where after having confessed that she "had feelings for women," was sent for "aversion therapy," that "wrecked her for months."
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes also reveals a decade full of women's angst and emotional turmoil from the highest echelons of British society on down the ladder. The author quotes widely from several women she interviewed (and from other sources, many of these interviews and diaries) and adds in her own commentary to build a picture of the decade. She makes it clear that while some women seemed happy with their marriages and their lives, there were plenty of others who were not. She also manages to incorporate how communities were built among women for friendship and for support. But, as Nicholson also reminds us, the sixties were right around the corner, and things were on the verge of looking up -- and many of these same women laid the groundwork for a better life ahead for the next generation.
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes is a captivating read. There are parts of this book where the author sort of rambles, and I felt several times that it could have been pared down quite a bit, but overall, it's a really good, well-written social/cultural history that I couldn't put down. I'm not from the UK, but the book certainly held my undivided attention and kept me turning pages.
April 4, 2015
This is a fascinating look at how women lived in the 1950s. If, like me, you were a child in this era the book is like a trip down memory lane and a wallow in nostalgia. But were the 1950s really the golden age that they seem to have been to many? I suspect that after the austerity of the years during and immediately after World War II, the increasing prosperity of the 1950s seemed like heaven. It seemed as though the weather was always sunny, people were always in a good mood and everyone was happy.
But how did some of the women living through that era see it? The author has taken the memories of women from all social classes and woven them into a multi coloured picture of daily life for women. Only a minority of married women worked and it was expected that women would hand in their resignations when they married. This situation still applied in the Civil Service for example until the 1970s, where a woman had to resign on marriage though she could be immediately re-employed in the same job.
Women were expected to find their fulfilment in the home and bringing up children and it was no good complaining you were bored and unfulfilled. As a consequence housework and home-making became an art form and women invested the whole of themselves in having the neatest, cleanest and most up to date home that they could possibly afford. With hire purchase being the way to buy those expensive items, many got into debt in order to 'keep up with the Joneses'.
Reading this book and remembering with a certain amount of nostalgia how it was then, I also thanked my lucky stars I had enlightened parents who took it for granted that I would have a career and not just a job and that even though I would probably marry I would always be able to support myself financially. I realise after reading this book how uncommon such an attitude was at the time.
It was interesting reading about the fashions of the times and how women always wore hats and gloves and aprons. My own mother appears to have been something of a maverick in all these respects. She hated aprons, never wore hats except to funerals and weddings and never wore gloves unless it was cold outside.
Whether you lived through the 1950s or are interested in social history this is a fascinating and well researched read with lots of notes on the text, a bibliography and an index and a selection of illustrations which truly bring this fascinating age to life.
But how did some of the women living through that era see it? The author has taken the memories of women from all social classes and woven them into a multi coloured picture of daily life for women. Only a minority of married women worked and it was expected that women would hand in their resignations when they married. This situation still applied in the Civil Service for example until the 1970s, where a woman had to resign on marriage though she could be immediately re-employed in the same job.
Women were expected to find their fulfilment in the home and bringing up children and it was no good complaining you were bored and unfulfilled. As a consequence housework and home-making became an art form and women invested the whole of themselves in having the neatest, cleanest and most up to date home that they could possibly afford. With hire purchase being the way to buy those expensive items, many got into debt in order to 'keep up with the Joneses'.
Reading this book and remembering with a certain amount of nostalgia how it was then, I also thanked my lucky stars I had enlightened parents who took it for granted that I would have a career and not just a job and that even though I would probably marry I would always be able to support myself financially. I realise after reading this book how uncommon such an attitude was at the time.
It was interesting reading about the fashions of the times and how women always wore hats and gloves and aprons. My own mother appears to have been something of a maverick in all these respects. She hated aprons, never wore hats except to funerals and weddings and never wore gloves unless it was cold outside.
Whether you lived through the 1950s or are interested in social history this is a fascinating and well researched read with lots of notes on the text, a bibliography and an index and a selection of illustrations which truly bring this fascinating age to life.
April 18, 2015
Didn't know whether to laugh or cry at a lot of this book. Absolutely fascinating look at the life of women in the 1950's.
I admire Nicholson's research compiling this - she's clearly interviewed some of the women as well as using resources such as Mass Observation diaries. We have a whole range of women wanting to tell their stories, women as diverse as debutantes, Butlin's Red Coats, air hostesses, prostitutes and factory workers.
It's so hard to think how different things were for women not that long ago, but the stirrings of emancipation are definitely in the air.
There's quite a lot of repetition, but some women's stories are followed right through the book and if they haven't been mentioned for a while we get told who they are again. I found this slightly irritating. But overall it's a great read.
I admire Nicholson's research compiling this - she's clearly interviewed some of the women as well as using resources such as Mass Observation diaries. We have a whole range of women wanting to tell their stories, women as diverse as debutantes, Butlin's Red Coats, air hostesses, prostitutes and factory workers.
It's so hard to think how different things were for women not that long ago, but the stirrings of emancipation are definitely in the air.
There's quite a lot of repetition, but some women's stories are followed right through the book and if they haven't been mentioned for a while we get told who they are again. I found this slightly irritating. But overall it's a great read.
June 28, 2018
Not often I give five stars - but this is a marvellous book.
June 3, 2016
I stumbled across this in Waterstones a few months ago and couldn’t resist the inviting front cover and, being partial to a dose of social history, its promise of “The story of women in the 1950s”. Before buying this book, I had no knowledge of the author but on doing some research discovered to my delight that she is the great niece of Virginia Woolf. Having recently watched the excellent BBC dramatisation “Life in Squares” about the lives of the Bloomsbury Group, I had gained a great insight into Ms Nicholson’s literary heritage and so had high hopes for her book.
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes is Ms Nicholson’s fourth social history work. It is divided into interesting subsections such as ‘When I Grow Up’, ‘Queen of her Castle’ and ‘Paved with Gold’ and draws from the recollections of women of the time. Ms Nicholson’s easy writing style drew me in and I found myself laughing, crying and raging in equal measure. As an independent minded woman with feminist tendencies, I was shocked by some of the restrictions society imposed on women at that time. Whilst I realise that the serious study of history requires us to put aside personal judgement, I found this extremely difficult to do, especially when confronted with some of the stories of life at that time.
I was surprised too by just how many women entered marriage and motherhood believing that this was all that life had to offer them. My own grandmother who was a young wife and mother during this time has often talked of her life in that ‘rose-tinted’ way so many of us do when we recount days gone by. Whilst I don’t doubt she and many other women were content and enjoyed the security that marriage brought them, the evidence in Ms Nicholson’s book shows that for many others domestic life was a disappointment, and was far removed from that portrayed in the saccharine toned adverts of the day. Many were denied or persuaded out of pursuing academic careers as they were not thought the right environment for a woman.
There were of course benefits for many women of the decade. The shortages of the war years were coming to and end and shopping became a pastime, particularly for the more affluent who were able to purchase luxury items both for themselves and for the home. The advent of birth control meant that women were able to take control of their bodies and have a say in the number of children they gave birth to, a right denied to previous generations.
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes is a hugely informative and thought provoking read. The author’s use of women’s experiences brings the decade vividly to life and if I have learnt anything from it, it is that I am grateful for the choices and freedoms that I have as a woman today. I can’t recommend this book enough to anyone who has an interest in this period or in social history in general. An excellent read.
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes is Ms Nicholson’s fourth social history work. It is divided into interesting subsections such as ‘When I Grow Up’, ‘Queen of her Castle’ and ‘Paved with Gold’ and draws from the recollections of women of the time. Ms Nicholson’s easy writing style drew me in and I found myself laughing, crying and raging in equal measure. As an independent minded woman with feminist tendencies, I was shocked by some of the restrictions society imposed on women at that time. Whilst I realise that the serious study of history requires us to put aside personal judgement, I found this extremely difficult to do, especially when confronted with some of the stories of life at that time.
I was surprised too by just how many women entered marriage and motherhood believing that this was all that life had to offer them. My own grandmother who was a young wife and mother during this time has often talked of her life in that ‘rose-tinted’ way so many of us do when we recount days gone by. Whilst I don’t doubt she and many other women were content and enjoyed the security that marriage brought them, the evidence in Ms Nicholson’s book shows that for many others domestic life was a disappointment, and was far removed from that portrayed in the saccharine toned adverts of the day. Many were denied or persuaded out of pursuing academic careers as they were not thought the right environment for a woman.
There were of course benefits for many women of the decade. The shortages of the war years were coming to and end and shopping became a pastime, particularly for the more affluent who were able to purchase luxury items both for themselves and for the home. The advent of birth control meant that women were able to take control of their bodies and have a say in the number of children they gave birth to, a right denied to previous generations.
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes is a hugely informative and thought provoking read. The author’s use of women’s experiences brings the decade vividly to life and if I have learnt anything from it, it is that I am grateful for the choices and freedoms that I have as a woman today. I can’t recommend this book enough to anyone who has an interest in this period or in social history in general. An excellent read.
April 18, 2016
Really enjoyed this. Fascinating, well-written amount of women's lives in the 1950s with loads of social history and interviews. You think you know what it was like for women then but it's mind boggling to think that pretty much no women tried to go to university at that time and Oxbridge wouldn't award women degrees!
May 3, 2018
Absolutely Amazing, very well written and extremely enjoyable.
Was so interesting and covered an amazing range of topics, real peoples lives and there was never a dull moment.
I couldn't put this book down!!!
Was so interesting and covered an amazing range of topics, real peoples lives and there was never a dull moment.
I couldn't put this book down!!!
January 1, 2023
This book had me enraptured from beginning to end.
May 24, 2022
Loved this! Was a charity book find and it did take me a couple chapters to get into it..but by the end I was fully gripped by these woman’s lives
March 11, 2017
This was great, like sitting down with a dozen old ladies to hear about their fascinating lives in the 50's
August 20, 2015
In Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes: The Story Of Women In The 1950’s, Virginia Nicholson, author of Millions Like Us: Women’s Lives in the Second World War and Singled Out: How Two Million Women Survived without Men After the First World War, provides a social history of women’s lives in Britain in the 1950s. Popular culture expected them to be Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes but whether the women profiled in Nicholson’s book lived in palaces or council houses, their homes rarely conformed to ideals. Throughout the decade, the two most prominent women in Britain were Queen Elizabeth II, whose marriage and motherhood appeared to conform to 1950s expectations and Princess Margaret who struggled in the face of overwhelming pressure to “settle down” with a suitable husband.
For the full review, see http://www.royalhistorian.com/friday-...
For the full review, see http://www.royalhistorian.com/friday-...
May 25, 2016
Really interesting and very enjoyable. Some surprising lessons included discovering I was married on anniversary of Queen's coronation!
The social history was fascinating. London was so very different as I guess were many cities. I loved the aspirations of so many of the women some achieving their dreams and fighting the system whilst others slipped into a more traditional way of life. What would we have done? I think women still have these dilemmas to some degree.
So much in this book, politics,education, social history,royalty.....a real step back in time. My reservations were that it is possibly longer than it needed to be and needed a bit more focus. I found it hard to keep up with so many different women. Had they been mentioned before etc and wanted to get to know some of them. As a result I picked it up and put it down rather than being enveloped by the book. Less is more I think but I guess she wanted to get all her hard research in and who can blame her! A good read.
The social history was fascinating. London was so very different as I guess were many cities. I loved the aspirations of so many of the women some achieving their dreams and fighting the system whilst others slipped into a more traditional way of life. What would we have done? I think women still have these dilemmas to some degree.
So much in this book, politics,education, social history,royalty.....a real step back in time. My reservations were that it is possibly longer than it needed to be and needed a bit more focus. I found it hard to keep up with so many different women. Had they been mentioned before etc and wanted to get to know some of them. As a result I picked it up and put it down rather than being enveloped by the book. Less is more I think but I guess she wanted to get all her hard research in and who can blame her! A good read.
January 29, 2016
Interesting look at the lives of women in the 1950's and expectations both from and of them. It shows the lives of several women from the beginning of the decade to the end, accompanied by changes in wider society.
August 30, 2016
Intellectually, I know that women have made a huge amount of progress since the 1950s, but the interviews and case studies in this book really bring it home. Bonus: from a UK perspective! This was truly a good read.
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October 19, 2015305.409 N628 2015
May 8, 2023
Confession: I did not actually know what this book about when I was bought it. I just knew that it was discounted and the cover made it seem rather quirky. I may have missed the part that stated “the story of women in the 1950s”. It was only when I started reading it that I realised that this is actually quite a serious book on the lives of women in the UK during the 1950s.
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes throws us straight into the 1950s, starting with the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II and following the lives of women both at home and in the workplace to understand what their lives were like. Where possible, the book quotes from various women directly, and this mix of discussion about the time period and the voices of the women made me feel like I was in a large group of women from the 1950s talking, while being led through it all by a lecturer.
The strength and weakness of this book lie in its choice to quote extensively from the lived experiences of women. The strength is, of course, that we get an intimate look at their lives and we get to actually hear their opinions instead of it being diluted into statistics or academic-ese. The weakness is that the book can feel a bit overwhelming at times. It’s a bit hard to keep track of who is who, especially since we do follow a few key women, and occasionally, I did wonder if I was missing the forest for the trees. If you’re looking for a high-level view of what it was like to be a woman in the 1950s, you may find this too messy and too close for comfort.
Personally, I loved that we heard so much from women who lived through the 1950s. It really brought the time period to life, and I appreciated that Nicholson took the time to look for women from all across the social strata, from girls born into privilege, those from the middle class, and those that had to work much harder for their tiny bits of freedom.
A lot of the strict gender roles that the book talks about probably still exist in some form of the other today – evangelical purity culture/messaging about femininity reminds me a lot of this. And perhaps a bit oddly, the book also made me think about the difference between sex and gender. Gender is very much determined by society, as this book makes clear. Sex is pretty much just biological, but it’s tied so closely to gender that I think we see it as one and the same. I don’t know if I’m putting it correctly, but while reading this, I had the thought that the reason it was so hard to opt out of these strict gendered roles without judgement from general society is because we cannot really opt out of our sex. Gender is pretty much made up, but it is imposed on us on the basis of our sex, basically. I hope I am making sense but either way, I am glad that gender expectations have greatly loosened since the 1950s – it is no longer as strange for a woman to climb the career ladder, for example, though we are still mostly expected to take on housewifely duties when it comes! It was truly sad to see how a pioneering diplomat didn’t even think to continue her career because she had just accepted the idea that women were meant to be housewives instead.
Overall, I found this to be a truly fascinating book! I think we have the tendency to idolise the past, especially since our present can seem so horrible at times, but Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes reminded me that for us women, at least, the past wasn’t always better.
This review was first posted at Eustea Reads
Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes throws us straight into the 1950s, starting with the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II and following the lives of women both at home and in the workplace to understand what their lives were like. Where possible, the book quotes from various women directly, and this mix of discussion about the time period and the voices of the women made me feel like I was in a large group of women from the 1950s talking, while being led through it all by a lecturer.
The strength and weakness of this book lie in its choice to quote extensively from the lived experiences of women. The strength is, of course, that we get an intimate look at their lives and we get to actually hear their opinions instead of it being diluted into statistics or academic-ese. The weakness is that the book can feel a bit overwhelming at times. It’s a bit hard to keep track of who is who, especially since we do follow a few key women, and occasionally, I did wonder if I was missing the forest for the trees. If you’re looking for a high-level view of what it was like to be a woman in the 1950s, you may find this too messy and too close for comfort.
Personally, I loved that we heard so much from women who lived through the 1950s. It really brought the time period to life, and I appreciated that Nicholson took the time to look for women from all across the social strata, from girls born into privilege, those from the middle class, and those that had to work much harder for their tiny bits of freedom.
A lot of the strict gender roles that the book talks about probably still exist in some form of the other today – evangelical purity culture/messaging about femininity reminds me a lot of this. And perhaps a bit oddly, the book also made me think about the difference between sex and gender. Gender is very much determined by society, as this book makes clear. Sex is pretty much just biological, but it’s tied so closely to gender that I think we see it as one and the same. I don’t know if I’m putting it correctly, but while reading this, I had the thought that the reason it was so hard to opt out of these strict gendered roles without judgement from general society is because we cannot really opt out of our sex. Gender is pretty much made up, but it is imposed on us on the basis of our sex, basically. I hope I am making sense but either way, I am glad that gender expectations have greatly loosened since the 1950s – it is no longer as strange for a woman to climb the career ladder, for example, though we are still mostly expected to take on housewifely duties when it comes! It was truly sad to see how a pioneering diplomat didn’t even think to continue her career because she had just accepted the idea that women were meant to be housewives instead.
Overall, I found this to be a truly fascinating book! I think we have the tendency to idolise the past, especially since our present can seem so horrible at times, but Perfect Wives in Ideal Homes reminded me that for us women, at least, the past wasn’t always better.
This review was first posted at Eustea Reads
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September 8, 2023Following her probes into the lives of women after the First World War and their roles in the Second, Virginia Nicholson moves forward into a decade that has only recently begun to receive the attention it deserves. Sandwiched between the privations and sacrifices of the 1940s and the affluent excesses of the ‘swinging sixties’, the fifties have long been regarded as a dull decade, when Britain was struggling to rebuild a devastated and shabby country and ‘face the future’, in the words of the Labour Party’s 1945 election slogan. For many women they were years of frustration at wartime gains lost, whereas others nursed a profound desire to return to the certainties of their pre-war lives. But for both the future was to prove circumscribed.
Women might have had the vote on the same terms as men since 1929, but for most that was pretty well the limit of their equality: working women were paid much less than men and despite the responsibilities and sheer hard graft many had endured in wartime, were still regarded as submissive and inferior beings. Educational opportunities were limited. The 1944 Education Act was supposed to give everyone ‘parity of esteem’, but that is not how it worked out. Many teachers and parents had narrow expectations for girls whose destiny was to be marriage, a home and a family, with work just an interim measure between leaving school and walking down the aisle, rather than a career. Just 1.2 per cent of women went to university in the 1950s.
Read the rest of the review at HistoryToday.com.
Juliet Gardiner is a historian and broadcaster and a former editor of History Today.
Women might have had the vote on the same terms as men since 1929, but for most that was pretty well the limit of their equality: working women were paid much less than men and despite the responsibilities and sheer hard graft many had endured in wartime, were still regarded as submissive and inferior beings. Educational opportunities were limited. The 1944 Education Act was supposed to give everyone ‘parity of esteem’, but that is not how it worked out. Many teachers and parents had narrow expectations for girls whose destiny was to be marriage, a home and a family, with work just an interim measure between leaving school and walking down the aisle, rather than a career. Just 1.2 per cent of women went to university in the 1950s.
Read the rest of the review at HistoryToday.com.
Juliet Gardiner is a historian and broadcaster and a former editor of History Today.
October 30, 2023
This books aim is to cover the lives of women during 1950 Britain; it is well researched and with an engaging narrative.
Told through women's lives and their stories, using a variety of different sources for these stories. Its really surprising how much has changed for women in the UK since the 50s, and no where better is this shown than in the chapter on education. In the 50s it was primarily seen as a waste of time to educate women, as they were being primed for a life in the home - raising children and keeping house. Whilst there are women who enjoyed this lifestyle, it is incredibly sad that for the vast majority of women were so unhappy with the lack of opportunities, isolation and repetitive nature of their lives.
My only criticism of this book is the small section of mother and baby homes - for all the research, the scandal of these places - where women were forced to give their children up for adoption is deeply saddening. I wish we spent a bit more time here, as so many mothers were coerced into giving up their children through these so called helpful places. It really is a scandal in the UK.
Overall, the book gives a fascinating insight into the 50s, using oral history to really give life to this period. We can see how crisis in British establishment; politics, the coronation of Queen Elizabeth the 2nd and the Windrush Generation as examples, and how they affected real people. Overall a mst for anyone who wants to earn more about 50s culture.
Told through women's lives and their stories, using a variety of different sources for these stories. Its really surprising how much has changed for women in the UK since the 50s, and no where better is this shown than in the chapter on education. In the 50s it was primarily seen as a waste of time to educate women, as they were being primed for a life in the home - raising children and keeping house. Whilst there are women who enjoyed this lifestyle, it is incredibly sad that for the vast majority of women were so unhappy with the lack of opportunities, isolation and repetitive nature of their lives.
My only criticism of this book is the small section of mother and baby homes - for all the research, the scandal of these places - where women were forced to give their children up for adoption is deeply saddening. I wish we spent a bit more time here, as so many mothers were coerced into giving up their children through these so called helpful places. It really is a scandal in the UK.
Overall, the book gives a fascinating insight into the 50s, using oral history to really give life to this period. We can see how crisis in British establishment; politics, the coronation of Queen Elizabeth the 2nd and the Windrush Generation as examples, and how they affected real people. Overall a mst for anyone who wants to earn more about 50s culture.
January 4, 2022
. “Perfect wives in ideal homes. The story of women in the 1950s” by Virginia Nicholson @vncourthouse. This book is a non stop page turner through the lives of women from all rungs of society in the 1950s. It chronicles the attitudes of the time, the struggles and triumphs (not matter how small) of various women. It shines a light on women who dared to think differently and those who succumbed to the norms of the era. This book demonstrates how difficult it is for historians to define a decade into a neatly packaged, all-encompassing description. It makes you look at both how far society has come and also how far we have yet to go. It’s a kaleidoscope of life in Britain from the stories of real women. Highly recommend! Ps. I staged the book among some of my vintage kitchenware to accompany the essence and battle within the book. I cannot wait to read Ms. Nicholson’s book “How was it for you?” Because she writes the story of women so well!
This review was approved by the author herself on my Instagram page which was a lovely surprise.
This review was approved by the author herself on my Instagram page which was a lovely surprise.
August 30, 2022
I didn't realize this was about Britain when I ordered it, but decided to read it anyway to see how that decade differed from the US. It was interesting to see what was similar, and what was different due to the proximity to WWII and austerity.
Nicholson's writing style is extremely meandering, and honestly, that bugged the hell out of me. 😄 I also thought there could have been a lot of improvement in the analysis contained in the book-- it was negligible and scattershot.
So why four stars? What Nicholson did do well was finding a collection of incredibly compelling (white-- we finally meet a woman of color like, ten pages before the end, which is really something in a 460-page book) women with a wide variety of experiences. Often heartbreaking, but sometimes inspiring, Nicholson did a great job of letting them speak, and that made this compulsively readable for me, in spite of its shortcomings as a work of history.
Nicholson's writing style is extremely meandering, and honestly, that bugged the hell out of me. 😄 I also thought there could have been a lot of improvement in the analysis contained in the book-- it was negligible and scattershot.
So why four stars? What Nicholson did do well was finding a collection of incredibly compelling (white-- we finally meet a woman of color like, ten pages before the end, which is really something in a 460-page book) women with a wide variety of experiences. Often heartbreaking, but sometimes inspiring, Nicholson did a great job of letting them speak, and that made this compulsively readable for me, in spite of its shortcomings as a work of history.
July 31, 2019
I absolutely tore through this fascinating history of women in the 1950s, backed up with research from newspapers, statistics, interviews and more. It's an era we all feel familiar with, but the enormous changes in society since then are astronomical (not to mention the changes even from the beginning to the end of the decade).
The stories of everyday women were the highlight for me, although there were so many of them that it was tricky at times to remember who they all were. I also gained some hope for our current environmental situation from the (relative) success and impact of the story of the founding of CND.
I would definitely read other books by this author and about this time period!
The stories of everyday women were the highlight for me, although there were so many of them that it was tricky at times to remember who they all were. I also gained some hope for our current environmental situation from the (relative) success and impact of the story of the founding of CND.
I would definitely read other books by this author and about this time period!
March 27, 2022
This book provides a fantastic overview of the lives of women in the UK in the fifties. For someone born decades after that, this book was really interesting. The author interviewed women about their lives in the fifties, and shares many interesting stories and perspectives. She backs these stories up with literature, magazines, music, advertisements, statistics etc. Clearly a lot of research went into this book and I thought it was a great read! I also loved the pictures in the book. That being said, it did take me some time to finish this book, as I found some parts a bit slow and repetitive. I read another book by this author ('How was it for you?') on UK women in the sixties that was equally long but was (for me) less slow paced. Also highly recommended!
July 18, 2017
Unexpected way to tell this story - through multitude first-hand accounts that Nicholson managed to put in a narrative that work. The amount of disbelief, anger, helplessness and disgust for the unfairness of it all just strengthened my own resolve to stand up for women's rights, to call out misogyny and push for true equality even in, or especially in day-to day situations. We need to be aware of history, of how things were, what was done so we could move forward into fairer society.
I wasn't expecting to get this inspired by this book but I'm certainly not mad that it happened.
I wasn't expecting to get this inspired by this book but I'm certainly not mad that it happened.
May 1, 2020
I do love Virgina Nicholson's books - they're always well researched, accessible and genuinely affectionate toward the subject matter. I just found myself skipping through chunks of this with no real explanation as to why. I think possibly it's the wrong kind of book to read cover to cover; rather one to dip into and get lost in another era for a while and pop back on the shelves. Nevertheless I left, as I always do after reading VN, feeling simultaneous anguish, admiration, and joy for the women that these books spotlight and quite rightly celebrate.
February 2, 2025
A fascinating book about British women's lives in the 1950's, at various levels of society, but with more emphasis placed on the lower classes. Girls ending their education early and working in factories for a few years before marrying and becoming housewives. Social isolation. Loneliness.
Virginia Nicholson makes you really care about the women she chose as her subjects. "Perfect Wives" is touching, and sometimes heartbreaking. I wish it were a bit better structured, but otherwise I'm really happy I got to read it.
Virginia Nicholson makes you really care about the women she chose as her subjects. "Perfect Wives" is touching, and sometimes heartbreaking. I wish it were a bit better structured, but otherwise I'm really happy I got to read it.
August 24, 2017
A very enjoyable and easy-to-read book about women in the UK in the 1950s. It's full of detail on individual women's lives, following their stories throughout the period, as well as drawing conclusions about society as a whole and tracing the roots of why things were as they were. Reading this it seems impossible that things have changed so much in so short a time.
April 28, 2019
This is a fantastic book of social history of British women in the 1950s. The author illuminates the subject by telling individual women’s stories, largely in their own words. It’s very thoroughly researched and then rendered into an extremely readable, very enjoyable, wide-ranging look at an often over-looked decade in British history.
February 12, 2024
I feel the need to re read this every few years to remind myself of what life was like for previous generations of women. I am never disappointed and it helps to serve as a frame for where we are now and what we must still do to help women achieve want they want to achieve, free from constraints of gender and societal norms and expectations.
December 28, 2019
Another readable and well-researched book by Virginia Nicholson exploring women’s lives, this time in the 1950s. She includes a wide range of women from all parts of society but the common theme is how constraining life was for so many of them.
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