The Flowers I Deserve

by Tamara Jerée

Weeping luna is as common as wildflowers, and in the northern kingdoms, assassination by its floral poison is rampant. Those born with immunity are coveted by heretic clerical orders and the endangered aristocracy—and shunned by a superstitious society.

One so gifted, or cursed, Carlotta embraces her newfound power as the currency to deliver her from a land in the grip of drought. Luxury and beauty, glimpsed only through the portal of her late mother’s letters, become an easy trade to consider in exchange for her life. And looming always in her imagination is the symbol of it all—King Emelia, a demon who rose to power under mysterious circumstances. Rumor claims her to be a monstrous woman like the poison girls who serve and adore her. Yet in the warnings of evil, Carlotta sees her own reflection.

Once initiated into the world of sensual indulgence and ancient magic within the castle walls, however, Carlotta finds that not even a king’s devotion is enough to sate her. As the castle’s ghosts coalesce, Carlotta must also confront what her own dead want for her and, even at the heights of her seduction, what she truly wants for herself.

The Flowers I Deserve is a spicy character-driven FFF gothic fantasy novel with lyrical prose. Content notes are available on the author's website and inside the book.

Genres: Fantasy, Lesbian, Queer, LGBT, Polyamory, Adult, Romance

361 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 14, 2025

About the author

Tamara Jerée’s short stories have appeared in the Shirley Jackson Award-winning anthologies Unfettered Hexes and Professor Charlatan Bardot’s Travel Anthology. Their debut novel The Fall That Saved Us was a 2023 Indie Ink Award winner.

Reviews

[Ricarda · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author wasn't on my radar before, but then I saw this stunning cover and read that it's an FFF erotic dark fantasy and I was lured in. And I'm glad that I was, because this turned out to be very lyrical, if not a bit fever-dreamy, story marked by a unique mix of grief and pleasure. The story follows Carlotta, a poison girl, who lost her parents and leaves life in a monastery to join the court of King Emelia. Carlotta is immune to most poisons and has the ability to draw them out of other people's bodies too, which allows her to work as a food taster and protector of the king. King Emelia is said to be evil and cruel and an actual devil, but she's also so beautiful that one can barely look at her and a dedicated lover of woman, so Carlotta does her duty with devotion. The castle is a place of pleasure and most poison girls die young, so they enjoy themselves (with each other) at all times. Erotic undertones were ever present, but the actual scenes weren't even that descriptive in my opinion. It gave a certain sensuality to the story and it also averted an uncomfortable power imbalance between the king and her servants. I think Emelia was the most interesting character as she read truly otherworldly and powerful, and what can I say, she was exactly the kind of character that I'm always falling for. Carlotta was alright, but she also read like she was on drugs all the time. She's always a bit zoned-out and doesn't really have a strong voice, but I liked the moments when she finally showed some agency. There are many other female characters in the castle, but I didn't think them too well developed. Most are only marked by the art they perform – painting, poetry, embroidery, dance – and while I liked that this was integrated into the story, their personalities didn't really come across. I must also say that the book was mostly plotless. Plot was of course not what I came here for, but I didn't like how many things were hinted at and just never really shown. There were political maneuverings in the background of the story, but Carlotta isn't really involved in them, so I didn't care either. Same with the world building. There's a country split by an angelic religion and ruled by a devil king, but everything just stayed so vague. I wonder if the religion is somehow connected to Tamara Jerée's angel book, though. The beginning wasn't my favorite because the world was so hard to grasp and I only really got interested in the story when Carlotta arrived at the castle. The pacing was also rough, because there's a five-year time jump after some introductory chapters, but ultimately I was very glad for it. No character in an erotica should be of an age that begins with a 1, even if it's 18 or 19, so I was very relieved when Carlotta was aged up due to the time skip. Overall, I'm looking fondly at this book. It felt unique and refreshing to me while it still served the vibe that I expected. It may had me confused at times, especially at the end, but not to the point where it ruined my positive reading experience. 3.5 stars.

Huge thanks to NetGalley, Water Sign Books and the author for providing a digital arc in exchange for an honest review.

[Tamara]

Content notes for my books are always available on my website and inside the book itself, but I wanted to share them here for reader convenience: death, depression, grief, self-harm, animal bite, blood, injury detail, explicit sexual content, sexual relationships between a king and her servants, obsessive relationships, voyeurism, knife play, unnegotiated bondage, and piercing.

If you decide to pick up The Flowers I Deserve, thank you for spending time with my work.

[Nenia Campbell]

If Tamara Jeree writes it, I am absolutely going to read it!

[Lucky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rounded down from 4.25

Jerée's most ambitious work yet, The Flowers I Deserve is a dreamy, steamy, and lusciously sapphic romantasy about grief. Haunted by the loss of her mother, transformation of her father, and erasure of her homeland, Carlotta makes her way through a court full of compelling allies and fervent opposition— and she does so with the favor of the King, who harbors secrets of her own.

Though I was initially put off by the insta-love, the abundance of intimacy and romance that blooms between Carlotta and the many women around her greatly soothed my hesitancy.

Jerée's characteristic exploration of religious trauma takes on a more subdued, fantastical appearance in this story, but is no less potent for it.
Although religious themes are a part of Carlotta's past and the world, the beating heart of this book is its dreamlike exploration of loss and healing.

If you're looking for a sapphic romantasy with high spice and a piercing, ethereal narrative about intimacy, displacement, and grief grief grief, this may be the book for you. I certainly loved it.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

A stunning sapphic erotic gothic fantasy with a beautiful narrative about grief, ‘The Flowers I Deserve’ might be my new favorite of Tamara’s books. It’s ambitious, steamy, and has Tamara’s signature beautiful prose & themes of religious trauma. The intimacy between all the women in this book is also incredibly well done.

After losing her mother, and severe transformation of her father, Carlotta must survive in a court full of allies, opposition & intrigue. All while trying to cope with the additional erasure of her homeland. She does however, have the favor of the King, who has her own secrets.

Overall, I would definitely recommend this book! But please don’t dive in just for the smut, because while it is incredibly hot, this book has some meat to it that is worth savoring.

[Emilie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to Water Sign Books and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of The Flowers I Deserve! As always, all opinions are my own and this review is being left voluntarily.

4.5 stars rounded up

✨ Adult Sapphic Gothic Fantasy
✨ First Person POV
✨ 4.5/5 Spice Level (see review for more details)
✨ Standalone
✨ Rep: sapphic rep, polyam rep, BIPOC rep

I recommend if you enjoy…
- atmospheric, moody gothic fantasy
- character-driven novels
- eroticism
- vibe-y reads
- themes of grief

Content warnings after review.

General thoughts…
I hadn’t read a book by Tamara Jerée before, but the cover of this book is absolutely breaktaking… I couldn’t help myself. It’s advertised as FFF which is something I tend to be a bit more selective about. I love a gothic fantasy though, so I wanted to give this book a go! (And did I mention that the cover is stunning?!? I can’t say I don’t judge books by their covers, unfortunately…) There are some strong themes of grief as well that resonated with me and is something I typically enjoy in a book.

Some things I loved…
- The writing, it felt so moody, atmospheric, and euphoric. It was as if the main character was in a dream state for the entire book. To some extent I’m not entirely sure what was real and what wasn’t… which is 100% something I enjoy in a book. There was a lot open for interpretation and a lot of ~vibes, and I love both of those things.
- There is an insane amount of eroticism and sensuality in this book (and it’s advertised as being spicy/erotic. At a certain point in the book, there is an atmosphere of “free love”, and while the spicy scenes could have leaned heavily toward erotica they weren’t overly graphic. Instead the spice felt heady, like being coated in thick, sticky syrup, sweet at times and scandalously sticky at others. I really felt pulled into those moments and they fit the vibe of the story well. Somehow avoiding being gratuitous despite the gratuitous amount of spice these characters were getting into.

Some things to consider…
- The romance is loose. Clearly King Emilia cares a great deal for her poison girls, but there are also other dynamics at play. There is a pretty significant power imbalance, and King Emilia is obviously getting some pretty significant benefits of protection from the poison girls. This might not be everyone’s cup of tea, and there is basically no monogamy (if that’s your preference). That being said, there are absolutely feelings involved from multiple characters.
- Along with the above, there is some insta-love and insta-attraction with may not resonate well to some readers. I think it worked out alright considering the intoxicating and dream-like quality of the story and writing.

Final thoughts…
This felt like a book I needed. I was in a bit of a reading slump, and this absolutely got me out of it. It read unlike any book I’ve read in a long while and quenched a thirst I didn’t know I had. The vibes were there for me, and I’d be interested in reading more books by Tamara Jerée.

(beware potential spoilers below)

Content Warnings
(may not be all inclusive)
de*th, depression, grief, self-h*rm (poisoning), lesbophobia, animal bite, blood, injury detail, explicit s*xual content, s*xual relationships between a king and her servants, obsessive relationships, voyeurism, knife play, piercing, choking, unnegotiated bondage

[TeeReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars

You know when you see an absolutely stunning book cover, so obviously you have to buy it, but then you read it and it's nothing but disappointing? Yeah, that's not what happened here. While you shouldn't judge a book by its cover in most cases, you can definitely do that here. The beauty and intrigue of the cover seeps into the story itself. Tamara Jerée is an amazing author and weaves together her amazing prose, interesting characters, and intriguing story to create something wonderful. The lyrical writing adds to the dreamy/trippy vibes throughout the book. Each character is layered and complex, and the mysteriousness of King Emelia adds even more that pulls you in. Something I really enjoyed that I don't see done very much is how Jerée crafted her intimate scenes. While I do enjoy a descriptive, dirty, smutty scene, I also really appreciate what was done here. The author seems to focus more on the feelings, vibes, and sensuality of the characters in these moments of intimacy and I really loved that. This is marketed as a dark fantasy erotica, but it is so much more than that and it is so worth the read. Definitely check this one out.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Shannon Knisley · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️.5
🌶️🌶️🌶️

Flowers I Deserve follows Carlotta, a girl raised under the shadow of tragedy and guilt. Once known as the “poison girl,” she spends her early years trying to atone for past mistakes before being brought to the castle, where she becomes entangled with King Emelia and the complicated political, religious, and personal forces that shape her world. As she wrestles with grief, vengeance, and unexpected relationships, Carlotta must decide how much of herself she’s willing to sacrifice to claim both justice and belonging.

Carlotta’s character often felt emotionally flat, making it difficult to connect with her inner world. The side characters, especially the frequently mentioned handmaids, were never given backstories or development, which left the world feeling underpopulated and thin. I also struggled with the almost immediate blind worship of King Emelia, which felt unearned, and the lack of world building overall. The setting seemed stuck in something like the 1800s in terms of technology and development, yet Emelia is from another advanced realm, capable of saving lives by suspending them in a strange in-between universe. This contrast raised more questions than it answered, and the logic never quite clicked.

The pacing also felt uneven. The slow opening, lingering on Carlotta’s childhood, dragged, only to then skip ahead five years as she’s whisked to the castle, where things finally begin to gain momentum. Certain plot points, like why no one questioned earlier that King Emelia never leaves the castle, didn’t feel believable. And though the book was filled with sexual undertones, the actual spice scenes lacked detail and didn’t deliver the intensity the buildup seemed to promise.

Despite these issues, there were parts of Flowers I Deserve that stood out beautifully. The FFF relationship was refreshing and layered, and I loved the theme of living each day as if it were your last. The diversity woven into the story, such as the mention of braids and other cultural details, gave the world some texture. Carlotta’s drive for revenge against those who wronged her family, paired with her tentative steps into politics, gave her arc a sense of purpose. I also appreciated how the book explored the influence of religion on politics and society, it added depth even when the world building faltered elsewhere.

Most of all, the portrayal of grief resonated with me. Carlotta’s pain and longing were palpable, and Jerèe’s prose often reached moments of true beauty and introspection. Those passages lingered with me long after I finished reading.

Flowers I Deserve is an uneven read, with stunning moments of insight and emotion weighed down by flat characterization and confusing world building. Still, its unique perspective, queer representation, and exploration of heavy themes make it a book I’m glad I picked up, even if it didn’t fully bloom for me.

Thank you Netgalley and Water Signs Books for this e-ARC! All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Emmaline Savidge]

Yeah this was just a massive trudge. I think that the main problem with this book is the world building that just feels divorced from logic. The poison girls are basically glorified poison tasters so the religious stigmatization didn’t really make sense to me. The dislike for these women was because the religious sect feels negatively about the aristocracy. It just felt like the hatred was being placed on the poison girls so we could make the plot happen. I’ve heard really good things about this author’s paranormal romance though, so I’ll give that a shot sometime in the future.

Thanks to the publisher for providing me with a free e-ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[jana · Rating 4 out of 5]

The gold chose me. It melted up my arm in a devouring wave, burning away weakness and imbuing me with light. With this second skin, I would be radiant. No one could look upon me, beautiful and dangerous as the sun.

content warnings: death, depression, grief, self-harm (poisoning), lesbophobia, animal bite, blood, injury detail, sexual content, sexual relationships between a king and her servants, obsessive relationships, voyeurism, knife play, piercing, choking, unnegotiated bondage

[Steph (starrysteph) · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Flowers I Deserve is a lyrically-crafted journey of self-healing, building your own safe havens, and never neglecting those who were kind to you. And it’s wrapped up in a royal polyamorous triad.

Carlotta’s world is filled with poisonous flowers, and she’s immune. Depending on who you ask, it’s a gift, a skill, or an unlucky curse. Her religious-leaning village forces her to isolate with her dad thanks to their superstitions, but Carlotta is ready to find work as a poison girl, just like her late mother she never met.

She leaves her dangerously-dry land and heads to the luxurious castle to serve the demon King Emelia. There are rumors swirling about her, too, about mysterious bargains and girls seduced to never return. But Carlotta finds safety and love, even as outside enemies encroach, her homeland dies, and ghosts from within the castle feed her warnings. Carlotta has to figure out the best path for her future and her kingdom before it’s too late.

I absolutely loved the prose here. This was an introspective, lush, poetic swirl that was never too much. It’s a journey of healing and grief and rebuilding things that have been irresponsibly destroyed. Carlotta also has to push back against the pressure to be a certain type of person and act a certain way.

The religious sects and world-building surrounding the poison girls before we got to the castle ending up being a little confusing? We let go of most of the religious aspects (the King basically sets the story straight) outside of one of Carlotta’s clerical friends once she joins the royal poison girls, and they become almost irrelevant. It felt like a plot device just to get her to the castle, but the fractions were explained a little too lightly and it ended up really slowing down the first chunk of the book for me. I didn’t 100% understand how the religious and political backstories all connected.

Once she reaches the castle, she’s folded into this gorgeous depiction of community and love and how women can thrive and make things better for everyone when you take men out of the picture. It is instalust and instalove, but it’s also the first group of people who have ever seen and accepted Carlotta fully for who she is, and the setting feels almost like a dream, so it does sort of make sense. You’re going to just have to roll with it. It’s also not instalove in the gooey, over-the-top begging and silly nickname type. It’s just immediate acceptance and encouragement to explore in a safe, queer environment.

There’s obviously a power imbalance between the poison girls and the King, so fair warning if that gives you the ick, but everyone seems happy enough. There’s also love between the poison girls and the other people who work in the castle, and all of those relationship webs were more equal.

I also appreciated that the sex scenes here were part of the fabric of this story and essential to the character and plot development. Sometimes spicy moments almost seem like they were written by a different voice and if you chop them out it doesn’t change much of anything about the story - that’s not the case here at all. They were also written in a more atmospheric, lyrical way versus a more straightforward graphic way. The focus was more on the character’s emotional experience and journey versus physical descriptions.

It’s an intimate, fully-accepting swirl, and that’s what allows Carlotta to grow and become stronger and ultimately set off on her mission to make the kingdom a bit better. Her grief will never leave her, but her own sense of empowerment grows and it’s lovely to witness that. She also definitely heals a lot of her religious trauma.

In addition to personal empowerment, this also touches on otherness and framing vulnerable members of the community as scapegoats, the power of art and poetry and storytelling, how to be a good leader, and politics and corruption.

If you want a gorgeously dark, rich story of grief and tender, open love, definitely pick this one up. It’s a bit ethereal, more vibes than plot, gothic and bloody, and overall a very spooky, lush time.

CW: murder, death, blood, animal death, grief, bullying, religious bigotry, classism, self harm, snake bite, sexual content (voyeurism, bondage, piercings, king/servant relationships)

Follow me on social media for book recommendations!

(I received a free copy of this book; this is my honest review.)

[Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Flowers I Deserve follows Carlotta, a young woman with the ability to ingest and detoxify poison. In her world, this is viewed by many as more of a curse than a blessing and imbued with religious significance that Carlotta does not personally believe in. Despite joining the church at one point, Carlotta feels listless, depressed, and frustrated with her life until being invited by the mysterious King Emelia to become a poison girl at her court. Carlotta is inducted into the otherworldly, entrancing palace life and finds meaning and connection for the first time. Still, the loss of her parents lingers over Carlotta’s mind and the court is full of many mysteries for her to uncover…

I felt fully pulled into The Flowers I Deserve from the start, with its lush, lyrical prose and engaging worldbuilding. The religious system and cultural practices felt unique and much more detailed than what we are usually shown in fantasy. The differing perspectives on the place of poison girls in the world’s mythology was fascinating to follow. Primarily though this is a romance-first, fantasy-second kind of story with a steamy, polyamorous queer court life and the story definitely delivers on that front. The sex scenes are written with a kinky, sensual energy full of life and longing. I also appreciated how varied her relationship with each of the women of the castle.

Unfortunately, there were some things that held back my enjoyment, namely the insta-love of the relationships and some of the flatness of secondary characters. In particular, King Emelia is bigger-than-life, bold, and impressive in a way that failed to invest me in her story. Keeping spoilers to a minimum, she is just as much oppressed as the others despite her status, but the narrative mostly feels committed to showing off how rich, powerful, and hot she is. While the story does give her moments of vulnerability and need, it felt like an artificial way for Carlotta to be narratively important. Carlotta’s relationships with other characters, notably Meridith and Anne, felt more complicated and interesting to read about but they definitely received less page time.

Overall, I would recommend this if you’re looking for spicy, lyrical sapphic romantasy.

Thank you to Water Sign Books for my ARC provided through Netgalley.

[Kayt · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Flowers I Deserve is easily one of the best high fantasies I’ve read this year, and it reminded me why I love this genre so much.

Carlotta is a girl who has already endured too much loss, first her mother and then her father. With nowhere else to turn, she’s taken in by a group of clerics who discover her rare and dangerous “gift.” Like her mother before her, Carlotta is a Poison Girl—but where most can only sense toxins in food, she alone can draw poisons from people’s bodies, holding that pain inside herself. She lives a modest, almost small life with the clerics until the day a mysterious woman in red arrives, offering her a place in the castle. From that moment, her world begins to open up in ways she never imagined.

Tamara Jerée’s writing had me hooked from the start. The worldbuilding feels rich and layered without ever being overwhelming, and the interplay between characters is sharp, emotional, and compelling. I’ll admit there were moments when Carlotta came across a little flat or even a bit whiny—but those small frustrations were completely eclipsed by how much I adored the King and the other Poison Girl. Their presence added so much depth, heart, and tension to the story that I found myself savoring every scene they were in.

The sapphic romance is exactly what I hoped it would be: tender, powerful, and perfectly balanced with just the right amount of spice. It never overpowered the plot, but it added an emotional weight that made the story even stronger.

Honestly, I would read anything Tamara Jerée writes—even her grocery list. This book pulled me in and didn’t let me go, and it left me certain that Jerée is an author whose work will live on my shelves permanently. I’ll be proudly buying a shelf trophy copy of this one.

Huge thank you to NetGalley, Water Sign Books and the author for the digital arc in exchange for a honest review.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carlotta has already lost so much—her parents, her home—until a group of clerics take her in due to her precious gift. Carlotta is a poison girl—those immune to poisons and sought after by aristocrats to work as food tasters and protectors. When a mysterious woman arrives and offers her a place as a royal poison girl for King Emelia, Carlotta embraces her exciting and sensual new world, but she will need to confront her true wants and desires.

"I was proud of this newfound resistance to nature and men's schemes. Though I lay in bed half numb and half in pain, I was powerful. I'd never had anything so special to claim as my own."

A beautiful, character-driven story set against a luscious fantasy backdrop. Tamara Jerée has such a unique and captivating prose, creating the perfect moody, gothic atmosphere. The relationships are so tender yet powerful. The intimacy between the characters is also my favourite kind—sensual and focusing on emotion without being gratuitous.

This is the type of story where it's better left unsaid so the reader can experience it themselves. There was so much depth to Carlotta and her journey. I don't know how else to describe this book other than it being one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. I felt like I was in a dream the whole time I was reading this and I never wanted to wake up.

The Flowers I Deserve is a must read for those that love stories centered on grief and vengeance, what we desire as individuals and the importance of finding communities that help us embrace that.

[Clara Bennet · Rating 3 out of 5]

*Thank you to the publisher & NetGalley for the ARC!*

First of all, what an absolutely stunning cover- I would absolutely hang this illustration on my wall and could admire it for ages. It's beautiful.

The prose here is gorgeous- all lush lyricism that flows like poetry. That, on its own, was a delight. The world, too, is fascinating, haunting and beautiful and one I'd be very interested in reading more about. I want to know more about King Emelia and her home, in particular.

Given this is an erotica, I should note that I greatly enjoyed the way sex was written about in this novel. It's treated as a part of life, as natural as breathing, without any sort of shame or remorse. And that was very, very refreshing.

My one critique is that not a lot happens here, and I found myself somewhat bored at times. Maybe stories that are this primarily character driven aren't for me, though- I'm not sure. I've enjoyed character driven stories in the past but found the plot here lacking.

At the end of the day, though, this is a lovely story with absolutely incredible prose, and I would definitely read more from this author in the future.

[Sky · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this pretty well. It's very much about the characters, Carlotta and her angst, shame, and guilt, struggling to accept herself and find a place in the world. The book starts with tragedy, and only gets worse, for a while. Carlotta lives in an awful place full of miserable people who hate her family. Eventually she finds a role that suits her, friends and lovers and a community, and it's very satisfying to read. Still, she's haunted by her past, both psychologically and literally.

Also, there's a lot of sex in this book. Personally, I can sort of take or leave sex scenes. These were good, and worked as character development. They were generally well written and a little thrilling.

I think there's quite some depth to this book, it has something to say about how we let others define us, internalize their judgments, make them our own. There's probably more there than I was really in the mood to interpret, maybe others will find it speaks to them personally. Anyways, a very good read, I'm glad I'm following this author and would absolutely recommend this to anyone who enjoyed The Fall That Saved Us.

The cover art is incredible.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Flowers I Deserve is similar to a character introspection and study, delicately weaving dealings of grief and perseverance with inspired self-discovery through the interactions between Carlotta (our main protagonist) and those she cherishes.

This story is filled with steamy sapphic scenes but they never detract from the exploration of grief. Carlotta loses her mother, her father (in a way), and her home and way of life. Transported to the castle of King Emelia, rumored to be evil and not-of-this-plane, Carlotta learns to take strength in her desires to shape the life she wants for herself. She begins to process her grief through her relationships with the other women of the castle.

The prose was lyrical and exceptional - it was easy to follow along and understand what is happening and how characters are feeling without too much telling. It was a pleasure to read.

Recommended for those who enjoy sapphic romantasy and heavy character introspection.


Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and publisher Water Sign Boiks for allowing me an ARC to review!

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

If this is not the most stunning cover of the year, than I dont know what is!

And the book inside the cover absolutely delivered for me too. It is a rich fantasy world that I felt completely immersed in. I think it can feel a little slow in the beginning, but that's because there are no info dumps or the MC learning along with us. We have to slowly learn about the world around us and Jeree's prose is rich and beautiful which made me feel like I was there. It honestly had everything I want from a Romantasy novel. It's an interesting and novel world, intrigue, politics, and of course a romance that definitely delivered. I'm a huge fan of when the spicy scenes are about the feelings and the vibes and that's what I felt I got here.

It was my first book by Jeree, but it definitely will not be my last.

[anna0hliviaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very specific book for a very specific type of person. It’s dystopian and ethereal. There’s LOTS of lesbian hanky-panky but I wouldn’t recommend this book for people who are just looking for smut. At it's core, this book is about grief and finding a place in the world when all you know has been lost. There are complex themes in this novel and to recommend this to people just looking for some spice almost feels like a disservice. It’s a unique premise with lyrical and lush prose. “sapphic romantic fantasy with lots grief and a unique use of piercings” feels like a hard sell to me but maybe I just don’t know the right people.

Either way, very good book and I’m looking forward to seeing more from this author.

(thanks to netgalley for the arc!)

[J.S. Jasper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tamara could write a beautiful, heartbreaking play by play of how they were going to kill me, and id be like .. justified!!! There's something about their writing that makes me feel both dreamlike and like I'm not qualified to read it. I do anyway, ofc.

As always, the prose is too good and I fear it makes me wanna dislike Tamara so bad. Be bad at something! It's polite!!!

Unreasonably sexy and devastating in equal measure. Something I know will be prevelant in all their stories, and a main reason I am kicking people out of the way to read it.

Thank you netgalley for the arc, all thoughts are my own 🤍

[Maxisagayweeb · Rating 4 out of 5]

I might have missed it because I’m just too ace, but I really do not get the sexual dynamics of the poison girls and other characters in this?? Everyone just has sex absolutely everywhere all the time with little to no preamble and whilst that’s fine, I never understood if that’s just how this world in general is or how the castle is or how poison girls are or if there’s something more?? Idk

That said, I did really enjoy this book!! The portrayal of Carlotta’s grief is amazing and carries throughout, as grief does, in how she carries herself, how she makes friends, how she seeks revenge, and everything else and I love

Thank you NetGalley for my ARC!!

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

At it's core, this book is about grief and finding a place in the world when all you know has been lost. The prose was lyrical and flowery- it was easy to follow along and understand how characters are feeling without too much telling. It was a pleasure to read.

The sapphic romance was beautifully written. It never overpowered the plot, but it added an emotional weight to it.

Recommended for those who enjoy sapphic romantasy and heavy character introspection.

Thank you to NetGalley, Water Sign Books and the author for providing a digital arc in exchange for an honest review.

[Raisah · Rating 3 out of 5]

picked this book up from the author at a book fair! the cover art drew me in for sure.

reading this book genuinely felt like a trip - like actually delirious. and that takes good writing to do so. i enjoyed the themes at play, and the vibes in general. it felt raw and passionate, from grief to love. i would say, sometimes the plot ran away from me, and i was unsure of the “why” of what i read. but i still thought it was a very cool book, and i didn’t regret reading. well done!

[Amounah Works · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is so disturbing and beautiful. I took days to process it, although I couldn't stop reading it to the end. The author is an excellent writer. I don't read horror, but this skirts that line. It is a whole set of other morals/ethics for that world. It cannot be classified. It challenged me.

[Isabella]

Book club ended, and while the sex scenes and world seemed enticing, it was just so slow at the start and the purple prose did not help. The main character had such minimal character growth it’s laughable.

I might come back and revisit this book, but since it’s a library loan I’ll just return it for the next reader.

[Jennifer Loschiavo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. Deep and layered. It is fantasy prose with a hint of passion. The idea of demons found magic and poisoners may not be super original but the way it is written is. This is very intriguing. And i dig the art.

[Jena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Closer to 3.5 but rounded up for GR.

A dream-like, introspective tale of grief, ghosts, and having sex with ghosts, that contends with religious trauma and female oppression, while also asking the question: would you let a sexy demon lady pierce your clit after only knowing her for a few days?

[badger baddie]

While parts of this book start out with good hooks, it is definitely an instalust/instalove book and you have to be in the mood for that to savor it. I wasn't.

Thanks to netgalley for the ARC.

[Emily K · Rating 5 out of 5]

LET'S GO LESBIANS! LET'S GO!!!

[Kirsten (shadow.mommy)]

I'm just so confused 😭