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Reconstruction: First a Body, Then a Life
When an illness ravages her body and exhumes her disturbing past, can her tattered psyche ever recover?
“I am caught. Somehow, I am caught between these worlds, I can’t get back to Life, I can’t get to Death. I’ve somehow fallen into a crack—Between. And this time, I cannot find the way out. If there is a portal that leads back to Life, I don’t know where it is.”
Enter the life of Ara Lucia Ashburne, a tortured coma patient largely separated from the world of the living, and caught in a hyperreal dream world of pure suffering. Hovering betwixt life and death, Ara drifts from a nightmarish realm where she is tormented by hideous creatures, and the world of the living, where she is fleetingly aware of events that transpire around her. This true story takes readers on a turbulent journey from profound love and high hopes, to darkness and despair, and back out the other side to healing redemption. Disturbing, haunting and eternally memorable, Ara Lucia Ashburne’s Reconstruction is a gripping must-read debut that reveals the beauty and resilience of the human spirit.
“I am caught. Somehow, I am caught between these worlds, I can’t get back to Life, I can’t get to Death. I’ve somehow fallen into a crack—Between. And this time, I cannot find the way out. If there is a portal that leads back to Life, I don’t know where it is.”
Enter the life of Ara Lucia Ashburne, a tortured coma patient largely separated from the world of the living, and caught in a hyperreal dream world of pure suffering. Hovering betwixt life and death, Ara drifts from a nightmarish realm where she is tormented by hideous creatures, and the world of the living, where she is fleetingly aware of events that transpire around her. This true story takes readers on a turbulent journey from profound love and high hopes, to darkness and despair, and back out the other side to healing redemption. Disturbing, haunting and eternally memorable, Ara Lucia Ashburne’s Reconstruction is a gripping must-read debut that reveals the beauty and resilience of the human spirit.
- GenresMemoir
277 pages, Paperback
First published December 22, 2014
1 person is currently reading
207 people want to read
About the author
AraLucia Ashburne
1 book8 followersAfter a debilitating illness and a grueling 10-year recovery, it was artistic immersion that pulled Ara Lucia Ashburne from despair and back to her big-dreaming, driven and focused self. Read her story in Reconstruction: First a Body then a Life.
Today, Ara Lucia is healthy and whole, and working as an Internal Family Systems therapist as well as working as a Mixed Media Painter.
You can follow her artwork on IG @aralucia
And her adventures in her new home in the French countryside IG @aralucia_herstory
Today, Ara Lucia is healthy and whole, and working as an Internal Family Systems therapist as well as working as a Mixed Media Painter.
You can follow her artwork on IG @aralucia
And her adventures in her new home in the French countryside IG @aralucia_herstory
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
January 5, 2015
I wasn’t sure I could read this book. As it turns out, I couldn’t put it down.
Reconstruction: First a Body, Then a Life is the story of a young woman in love, trying to start a family with her husband. But along the way, things go terribly awry, and she finds herself in a medically induced coma—caught between life and death, face to face with demons and monsters. And this is not fiction; it is memoir.
Ara Lucia Ashburne writes about love, anticipation, disappointment, pain, depression, anxiety and abuse. Yet, she doesn’t wallow in self-pity, and she is seeking neither sympathy nor revenge. Instead, she shares her story in a surprisingly straightforward, insightful and engaging way, offering a glimpse into the challenges posed by anxiety, depression and pain, and what she so vividly recalls from her time in a coma.
More importantly, this is a book about the capacity of the human spirit to prevail and how one woman finds her way out of darkness and into the light. Again, it is not about glorification, but about giving hope in an honest and open way to others who suffer. Moving forward with her life was neither quick nor easy; at times she wasn’t even sure she wanted to continue living. To be sure, she had a lot of encouragement and support from family, friends and doctors along the way. But in the end, it was Ara’s own desire and determination to live a productive life that propelled her forward.
Among the many things I found intriguing was the role of creativity and personal expression in her healing process. In fact, that’s what drew me to the book to begin with. Scientific research has shown that creative expression and art, in particular, can aid significantly in the healing process. Making art gives patients a point of focus and allows them to express the feelings they have bottled up inside which they can often find no appropriate words for. And the activity itself can be soothing. That was certainly the case with Ara, who experimented with different forms of creative expression. Because her body no longer functioned as it had before the trauma, she also engaged in everyday creative problem solving to find new ways of doing things—even seemingly ordinary things like climbing a set of stairs.
I hope and believe others will find encouragement and inspiration in her words and actions, and thank her for sharing her story.
Reconstruction: First a Body, Then a Life is the story of a young woman in love, trying to start a family with her husband. But along the way, things go terribly awry, and she finds herself in a medically induced coma—caught between life and death, face to face with demons and monsters. And this is not fiction; it is memoir.
Ara Lucia Ashburne writes about love, anticipation, disappointment, pain, depression, anxiety and abuse. Yet, she doesn’t wallow in self-pity, and she is seeking neither sympathy nor revenge. Instead, she shares her story in a surprisingly straightforward, insightful and engaging way, offering a glimpse into the challenges posed by anxiety, depression and pain, and what she so vividly recalls from her time in a coma.
More importantly, this is a book about the capacity of the human spirit to prevail and how one woman finds her way out of darkness and into the light. Again, it is not about glorification, but about giving hope in an honest and open way to others who suffer. Moving forward with her life was neither quick nor easy; at times she wasn’t even sure she wanted to continue living. To be sure, she had a lot of encouragement and support from family, friends and doctors along the way. But in the end, it was Ara’s own desire and determination to live a productive life that propelled her forward.
Among the many things I found intriguing was the role of creativity and personal expression in her healing process. In fact, that’s what drew me to the book to begin with. Scientific research has shown that creative expression and art, in particular, can aid significantly in the healing process. Making art gives patients a point of focus and allows them to express the feelings they have bottled up inside which they can often find no appropriate words for. And the activity itself can be soothing. That was certainly the case with Ara, who experimented with different forms of creative expression. Because her body no longer functioned as it had before the trauma, she also engaged in everyday creative problem solving to find new ways of doing things—even seemingly ordinary things like climbing a set of stairs.
I hope and believe others will find encouragement and inspiration in her words and actions, and thank her for sharing her story.
February 4, 2015
This is a truly unique book, not just because of the titular one-of-a-kind series of surgeries that the author underwent, but also the incredibly unique voice in which she tells her story. Ara Ashburne is in turns, delightful, creative, steadfast, brave and poetic, yet always brutally honest, as she relays a life experience of a botched surgery that led to nearly a month in a hallucinatory hellish medically-induced coma that she remembers every moment of, as vividly as if it had been real life. After an operation goes awry, leading to an attack of the dreaded "flesh-eating bacteria" and eventually the largest abdominal reconstruction ever performed, Ara has to struggle through the resulting brain and body damage to find herself and Reconstruct her life and everything in it. Told in concert with her husband Michael Ashburne, the book is fascinating and thought-provoking, and even at its most harrowing, I couldn't put it down. This is a triumph of a memoir, and I only wish it were 100 pages longer.
January 23, 2015
This is an amazing experience of how we never really know what we are capable of until we are pushed to the very brink. The author is faced with her own horrific past while in the ICU, close to death, but it doesn't end there since the recovery at both the hospital and at her home that really puts a test to her very will to survive. It shows what we are really capable of even when we doubt ourselves, and perhaps in the end are in an even better spot then before we started.
I received a complimentary copy of this book as part of the Goodreads first-rate program in exchange for my honest review.
I received a complimentary copy of this book as part of the Goodreads first-rate program in exchange for my honest review.
November 11, 2015
**Trigger Warning, this novel includes mental illness, miscarriage, detailed medical procedures, doctoral gaslighting, hallucinations of torture and rape, some strong language, depression, and suicidal thoughts**
I had the added bonus of actually meeting Ms Ashburne at BookCon this year, where I bought this book. She even signed it, and addressed a personal message to me after a bit of a heart-to-heart conversation about believing in oneself (and my woes about publishing): What does it mean to be believed?
Given this, I will of course have a somewhat deeper attachment to this book than if I was given it by a friend, or picked it up at a library. Take that into account.
But even besides all that, I really connected with this book. I'm not in the habit of reading a lot of nonfiction because I typically prefer a strong, structured narrative. I had to pull myself out of that as I was taking in Ms. Ashburne's story chronologically. Of course there are themes that are woven throughout, but a lot of my criticisms have to do with her structure; rearranging a few chapters here and there, mostly. Especially for pacing. Still, it's always good to branch out from what one normally reaches for in a book.
I was not disappointed.
Despite my personal misgivings about any future with possible children, I was with her in the beginning throughout her difficult IVF struggles. This was the hardest part of the book to get through, both because of personal biases and because I was expecting a faster transition to the illness she had told me about when we spoke (and what the back of the book had promised). However, having gotten past it and looking back at it retrospectively, I see why it was so necessary - but perhaps could have been edited down a tad. The book is 277 pages, it wouldn't suffer. This did eventually transition into her illness, which was terrifying to read and reminded me a tad of Stephen King's Insomnia which I finished a few weeks ago.
I was a bit annoyed at first when I saw that I still had well over 50 pages left after she got out of the hospital, because I thought the book's "entree", the "meat" of it, had passed.
Incorrect. It was simply a misinterpretation of the book's purpose. A movie might end there, in a more Pursuit of Happyness style, but the book is called "Reconstruction" after all. These last chapters were crucial as a bridge to demonstrate how Ashburne recovered. How she began to make sense of a life that was handed to her, and was quite different than the one she had been expected to have. It gave me a clearer picture of her both as I met her and as I understand her to be.
This was a deep read that gripped me in a way not many other books have accomplished.
I had the added bonus of actually meeting Ms Ashburne at BookCon this year, where I bought this book. She even signed it, and addressed a personal message to me after a bit of a heart-to-heart conversation about believing in oneself (and my woes about publishing): What does it mean to be believed?
Given this, I will of course have a somewhat deeper attachment to this book than if I was given it by a friend, or picked it up at a library. Take that into account.
But even besides all that, I really connected with this book. I'm not in the habit of reading a lot of nonfiction because I typically prefer a strong, structured narrative. I had to pull myself out of that as I was taking in Ms. Ashburne's story chronologically. Of course there are themes that are woven throughout, but a lot of my criticisms have to do with her structure; rearranging a few chapters here and there, mostly. Especially for pacing. Still, it's always good to branch out from what one normally reaches for in a book.
I was not disappointed.
Despite my personal misgivings about any future with possible children, I was with her in the beginning throughout her difficult IVF struggles. This was the hardest part of the book to get through, both because of personal biases and because I was expecting a faster transition to the illness she had told me about when we spoke (and what the back of the book had promised). However, having gotten past it and looking back at it retrospectively, I see why it was so necessary - but perhaps could have been edited down a tad. The book is 277 pages, it wouldn't suffer. This did eventually transition into her illness, which was terrifying to read and reminded me a tad of Stephen King's Insomnia which I finished a few weeks ago.
I was a bit annoyed at first when I saw that I still had well over 50 pages left after she got out of the hospital, because I thought the book's "entree", the "meat" of it, had passed.
Incorrect. It was simply a misinterpretation of the book's purpose. A movie might end there, in a more Pursuit of Happyness style, but the book is called "Reconstruction" after all. These last chapters were crucial as a bridge to demonstrate how Ashburne recovered. How she began to make sense of a life that was handed to her, and was quite different than the one she had been expected to have. It gave me a clearer picture of her both as I met her and as I understand her to be.
This was a deep read that gripped me in a way not many other books have accomplished.
March 19, 2015
There is.... just so much wrong with this book. As another bisexual survivor of medical trauma induced PTSD, I was excited to read this book but it just fell apart on every level the longer I read it. The problem is that this book has no coherent or cohesive story. It has a beginning, it drops that lo about the middle, it doesn't really have an end, and then it slaps an ending together in a few pages. If this was an anthology of vignettes about her life, then maaaybe it could have worked well, because she picks up topics then abruptly drops them. But even within sections there is no structure or real ending or point. And there are so many people its hard to keep track of who is who. I really tried to stick with it because stories of medical trauma are so hard to come by and so vital for those of us who need that represenation.... but honestly I don't think it was worth it.
Basically this is a book about a woman who tries to have a baby, overwhelms the reader with confusing fertility jargon, has a post-surgical complication, nearly dies, starts describing her delusions without any explanation confusing the reader further, overwhelms the reader more with medical jargon, then she gives some cohesion to her recovery, wants to commit suicide but then suddenly is magically better in a way that is very confusing. There is no understandable timeline. Once you read the entire book, you realize she funded her movies and scooter journey with money from her medical malpractice lawsuit but that revelation comes after she did these things. And that desire for kids and her BFF in fertility whose emails we had to read pages and pages of? Dropped like a hot rock. What happened to her video projects? No clue, she doesn't tell you about them. This is the writing of someone who throws themselves completely into an idea then looses interest halfway through because they're too busy jumping to the next thing.
I think the most telling part of this book is in the afterward when she admits to showing it to a professional editor who explains it needs a LOT of restructuring. Which she just doesn't want to do. She wants to go to retreats, talk about creativity, and hire technical editors, but not do the work it would take to make this a coherent and understandable book. Instead she shares it with friends who all gave her bad advice (starting the book with those emails was a terrible decision) or seem to have blown smoke up her ass about how good it was until she self-pubbed.
Basically this is a book about a woman who tries to have a baby, overwhelms the reader with confusing fertility jargon, has a post-surgical complication, nearly dies, starts describing her delusions without any explanation confusing the reader further, overwhelms the reader more with medical jargon, then she gives some cohesion to her recovery, wants to commit suicide but then suddenly is magically better in a way that is very confusing. There is no understandable timeline. Once you read the entire book, you realize she funded her movies and scooter journey with money from her medical malpractice lawsuit but that revelation comes after she did these things. And that desire for kids and her BFF in fertility whose emails we had to read pages and pages of? Dropped like a hot rock. What happened to her video projects? No clue, she doesn't tell you about them. This is the writing of someone who throws themselves completely into an idea then looses interest halfway through because they're too busy jumping to the next thing.
I think the most telling part of this book is in the afterward when she admits to showing it to a professional editor who explains it needs a LOT of restructuring. Which she just doesn't want to do. She wants to go to retreats, talk about creativity, and hire technical editors, but not do the work it would take to make this a coherent and understandable book. Instead she shares it with friends who all gave her bad advice (starting the book with those emails was a terrible decision) or seem to have blown smoke up her ass about how good it was until she self-pubbed.
February 18, 2015
Recently I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer’s. As she took her last breath I wondered what it was like to be stuck inside a body unable to communicate with the outside world. Even though her mind and body were broken down, I felt that her spirit was still alive. Deep down there was a piece of her that knew I was with her until the end. It was not the first time that I danced around with death, nor will it be my last. The one area that has bothered me since her passing on January 18th of 2015, was what it must have been like to be trapped inside a body, which does not cooperate while the conscious is still alive. Although she suffered from memory loss, I often think of those that are in comas or are the victims of strokes. This book is about a woman that has gone through such an experience that has transformed her life on many levels. Her name is Ara Lucia Ashburne and she was an individual placed in a medical coma due to a massive life threatening infection. While in a coma she experienced a near death like world that connected her to a thin vail wall of the living and the dead. There she learned to analyze her inner demons and reconstruct her herself so she could re-emerge a stronger person when she awakened.
I have to say that I found this book to be overall very good. I was grateful for her insightful experience of what it was like to be trapped inside her own body. I could read the frustration she felt as she could hear the outside world, but was unable to respond. I learned a great deal of information about the IVF world. A family member of mine went through something similar and I was too shy to ask, so I appreciate the knowledge. The writing was clear and I also liked how there was information coming from the doctor’s point of view. It gave a vibrant picture of what the hospital room must have been like for the author. The only area that I felt could have been left out were the last 50 pages or so. I could have lived without the political viewpoints. It was more that those pages did not seem to fit with the rest of the book. I felt that first ¾ of book was awesome and then it tapered off and went ‘blah’ for me. I still would recommend this book to others though. Overall it still is incredibly informative and it was very helpful in my time of suffering. I must add that I won this book in a giveaway and I am truly happy that I did! Thank you good reads and author.
I have to say that I found this book to be overall very good. I was grateful for her insightful experience of what it was like to be trapped inside her own body. I could read the frustration she felt as she could hear the outside world, but was unable to respond. I learned a great deal of information about the IVF world. A family member of mine went through something similar and I was too shy to ask, so I appreciate the knowledge. The writing was clear and I also liked how there was information coming from the doctor’s point of view. It gave a vibrant picture of what the hospital room must have been like for the author. The only area that I felt could have been left out were the last 50 pages or so. I could have lived without the political viewpoints. It was more that those pages did not seem to fit with the rest of the book. I felt that first ¾ of book was awesome and then it tapered off and went ‘blah’ for me. I still would recommend this book to others though. Overall it still is incredibly informative and it was very helpful in my time of suffering. I must add that I won this book in a giveaway and I am truly happy that I did! Thank you good reads and author.
January 28, 2015
I won this book from a good reads giveaway. I was really excited to read this book, The first half of the book was pretty good. The second half and the end was really hard to get through. It just didn't seem to fit into the story for me. I have to admit I was expecting this book to be better. It did have good parts I just didn't enjoy the second half. I had a lot of questions unanswered and I think if pictures were included in the book it would have been great to describe what was happening. The "between world" just vanished all of a sudden with no explanation as to when she stopped having the dreams. I was just left with wanting more. This is a memoir of the authors life and a very small parts is about her encounter in the ICU. I really wanted to like this book I think because I like the author Ara is a strong, accomplished person that any reader would like. The book just fell flat for me unfortunately.
February 5, 2015
Ara’s writing is vivid, engrossing, and personable. Her story is disturbing, beautiful and intensely human. It reminds me that not all is in our control, not all can be remedied quickly and that so many little, mundane details hold great significance in the present and over time. Lastly, there is a love story woven within this text that is gorgeous.
I know Ara personally but did not meet her until after the story written here played out. It was always difficult to track the linear history of her life and this book actually helped put it in order for me. I love the crafting of the narrative with interwoven documents as support. The story gets a little disjointed towards the end, but in some ways I think this very much reflects the actual experience as I understand it.
I know Ara personally but did not meet her until after the story written here played out. It was always difficult to track the linear history of her life and this book actually helped put it in order for me. I love the crafting of the narrative with interwoven documents as support. The story gets a little disjointed towards the end, but in some ways I think this very much reflects the actual experience as I understand it.
December 31, 2015
I do not usually read memoirs so I don't have any perspective on genre that I can bring to this.
I simply could not stop reading. The first third in particular in the way that the personal account is paired with/mismatched with the medical reports is very effective- not that I was thinking about "effective" at the time. "Oh no, oh no, you can get through this," quickly in the course of the book turns into, "My goodness, what will she do next?" I am looking forward to following the real life Ara Lucia as she keeps finding new adventures. What a talented person! I definitely recommend this book.
I simply could not stop reading. The first third in particular in the way that the personal account is paired with/mismatched with the medical reports is very effective- not that I was thinking about "effective" at the time. "Oh no, oh no, you can get through this," quickly in the course of the book turns into, "My goodness, what will she do next?" I am looking forward to following the real life Ara Lucia as she keeps finding new adventures. What a talented person! I definitely recommend this book.
May 16, 2015
The first part of the book was fascinating. In fact I couldn't put it down and was up late into the night reading it. However, I thought that after the release from the hospital the book lost much of its focus. I found myself having to go back and reread some sections. I felt obligated to finish and provide a review because I received this book through a giveaway. The second half felt like such a chore and took me over a months to get through. What a contrast to the first part which took mere hours!
January 15, 2015
Just think being lost like this woman was having know control over what was going on in her subconscious. Terrifying it would be to experience something like this. Thanks for the book and the question you wrote it really made me think. For everyone who writes a review the question is, What does it mean to be believed? Just think about it. For me it means: whether it justifies oneself. Lets here some other responses.
February 1, 2015
I loved this book! Ara is an inspiration, God bless her! This woman, bless her heart, has been through such nightmarish events, but has emerged victorious over these things keeping her down! A MUST READ!!! I don't know how she's inspiring ME, but I do know I'm NOT giving up fighting my demons! _Read her story!
January 29, 2015
This was an amazing story.Looking at the picture on the back of the book makes it look unbelievable that she went through every thing she did and came out looking so happy. The courage that her and Michael showed through out the whole ordeal blew me over. This was truly an excellent book.
January 20, 2015
Interesting book that I could not put down even though I knew most of what had happened to Ara already. Very well written. I enjoyed the format of the first part (emails and medical orders) of the book very much.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews