Was It Something I Said?: Everyday Etiquette to Avoid Awkward Moments in Relationships, Work, and Life

by Alison M. Cheperdak

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

304 pages, Hardcover

Published March 17, 2026

About the author

Alison M. Cheperdak is a bestselling author, internationally certified etiquette coach, and the founder of Elevate Etiquette, a modern consultancy devoted to helping people move through life with confidence, clarity, and grace. She is also an attorney and entrepreneur with a career spanning television journalism, law, and public service.

She is the author of Was It Something I Said?: Everyday Etiquette to Avoid Awkward Moments in Relationships, Work, and Life (HarperCollins, 2026).

Through private coaching and group seminars, Alison works with individuals and organizations to refine professional presence, communication, and modern etiquette, from first impressions to high-stakes interactions. She has taught programs at Harvard Law School, the U.S. Congress, and the White House.

Her insights have been featured in The Wall Street Journal,Vogue, The Washington Post, Today, Fox News, Southern Living, and more, and she reaches millions each month through her signature daily etiquette content.

Alison's interest in etiquette began at twenty-two, when she was newly engaged and full of questions about how to navigate the many small but meaningful decisions surrounding weddings, relationships, and social expectations. What began as curiosity quickly became a lifelong study of etiquette, executive presence, and the quiet power of thoughtful behavior.

Today, her work is rooted in a simple belief: etiquette isn't about perfection. It's about the small choices that shape how others feel in your presence.

Learn more at href="https://www.elevateetiquette.com"...

Reviews

[CatReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alison Cheperdak is an American lawyer, former television reporter, and former White House staffer, who now runs a business focusing on etiquette. Her 2026 book Was It Something I Said? is a collection of short etiquette pointers spanning all areas of life, from business, travel, family, personal, etc. In concept, this book is similar to Sara Jane Ho's Mind Your Manners: How to Be Your Best Self in Any Situation and Capricia Penavic Marshall's Protocol: The Power of Diplomacy and How to Make It Work for You, though closer to the former (though I was hoping it'd be closer to the latter given Cheperdak's professional work). I would have appreciated more detailed personal anecdotes rather than laundry lists of advice (at least when listening to this book).

My statistics:
Book 77 for 2026
Book 2283 cumulatively

[Aimee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked this up out of curiosity. Enjoyed the shoutouts to Ogunquit! Some really great tips on how to respond to people saying rude things to you and I appreciated how easy this was to digest. Second half mainly dealt with super in-depth etiquette stuff (how to set a table, what to wear to a gala, etc). It was well-explained but overwhelming! And I thanked my lucky stars I don’t have to deal with that. One gripe was how in the sir/ma’am section it’s mentioned that these are heteronormative titles but never gave an option for gender neutral honorifics.

[Adelaide · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had this book as a teen and young adult. The counsel herein in thorough, yet precise and practical. I appreciated how etiquette is presented as a manifestation of kindness, consideration, practicality, and mindfulness - the point is to know what to do so that one can focus on being present and engaged in the moment. I will be keeping this book on hand as a manual for frequent use.

[Aspen Nielsen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alison Cheperdak brings a modern yet grounded approach to etiquette in the current age. I love how kindly she approaches all topics—her care about making people feel welcomed, celebrated, and seen is visible in this book.

[Amanda Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5- I learned some helpful gems. This author has great insight into customs and etiquette.

[Sophia Strobel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a useful, straightforward guide that I think would be helpful to a broad range of people, especially young people. Alison’s tone I warm and precise, and the diagrams were a great touch too!

[Kirstyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

*ARC was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

This book is definitely useful to have on hand when you’re meeting a different type of group or event. Even more so if you’re in the politics world. Unfortunately, I don’t think the world we live in is as cut and paste as the book it makes it seem. Though some of these customs qualities may be useful, especially within a political or professional sense, it’s also unrealistic. And don’t even get me started on the disparities and differences across cultures and those with money to experience things like different fork settings and how to get in and out of a car.

Overall, the information was interesting and like I mentioned before, I’ll definitely use it for future events. I just think the approach of “this is what you do” is….eh.

[Maggie McKneely · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would never have picked this up if my own free will, but my book club insisted, so here we are. But I’ll admit I actually enjoyed this.

This is one of those books where different chapters will resonate will different people. For example, I almost entirely skipped the chapter that went into great detail about formal dining placements. But I found parts of the chapters on hosting and interpersonal communication to be very useful and interesting. I could actually see myself using this book as a resource in the future if I find myself in situations covered here. For such a short book, it’s incredibly comprehensive, providing advice for nearly every facet of life that requires some modicum of etiquette.

[Deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a long-time follower of Alison Cheperdak’s Elevate Etiquette, I had high hopes for her debut book, Was It Something I Said?, and it did not disappoint. This isn't your grandmother’s etiquette book. It takes the guesswork out of modern etiquette with amazing visuals and practical advice for every situation. Whether you need a full guide or a quick reference tool, this book is a total game-changer for navigating life with confidence. You can read it cover-to-cover or just flip to a specific chapter when you're in a social pinch. You’ll love that she incorporates relatable examples. A must-read for anyone looking to navigate social scenarios with ease.

[donutqueenie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a handy crash course into many etiquette topics. It’s easy to read because the tone is casual but polished and also relatable.

The graphics and drawings were confusing.
-Three of the five chin positions looked the exact same to me.
- The description for sitting position with “feet flat”describes the knees being slightly apart like the width of a golf ball but the corresponding drawing labelled “feet flat” shows knees about 10 inches apart. That’s a bowling ball, not a golf ball.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC. Release date 3/17/26.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this author on IG and after absorbing her content I put her book on hold at the library. This book has something for everyone- traveling, business meetings, grieving friends, etc. As soon as I finished I purchased two copies- one for myself and one to gift.

This book helped alleviate some of the anxiety I tend to feel when I stress about whether I did X right or should have done Y. Highly recommend; this book can help anyone become a kinder, more respectful participant in any situation.

[Andrea Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

*rewriting my review on the hardcover copy entry rather than the Kindle one*

I have been following Allison on Instagram and was excited when she announced that she was writing a book. I feel like she does a great job teaching people why etiquette is about making other people feel respected and considered rather than a rigid set of rules. This book is a good comprehensive modern guide to different situations. I read it in an entire afternoon, but you can easily go back to any chapter of you have any questions about a certain topic.

[Amanda Wolfley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ugh, my first Did Not Finish…that is so hard for me to do, but I think Goodreads making it an official shelf is what allowed me to stop listening to this book with a smidge less guilt.

I love following Alison on Instagram. This is, unfortunately, the second book this year by someone I follow on Instagram that I feel works better as social media content than a book. A lot of what she was talking about just doesn’t feel relevant to me and that’s the main reason I decided not to finish.

I can see it being more useful as a reference book rather than a read/listen straight through.

[Kueen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book to have. I think every family today needs this book in their homes from the being. Definitely teaches us what the Title says and much much more. I really enjoyed the book it's a keeper and one for sharing.

[Emma Spencer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been following her on Instagram for a couple years now and was excited to see she had released a book! lots of it is stuff I already knew but definitely had some new knowledge and tips too! always good to brush up on!

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent, relevant current day etiquette book for a multitude of situations.

[Jacqueline115 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciated this book from start to finish. Many wonderful tips that I was not aware of. Being polite and understanding etiquette goes a long ways.

[Carolyn Carey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy read! Informative and written very conversationally with great stories. Very well done!

[Karli · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m better than everyone bc I read this book 💁🏽‍♀️

[Francesca Breda · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun and different read! Learned some fun things and love her approach to etiquette and why it’s important!

[Kate G]

Good review of modern etiquette!