Help! I'm Ruining My Kids: A Gospel Guide for the Mom Who's Desperate for Change

by Abbey Wedgeworth

Are you worried that, despite your best efforts, you're messing up your kids? Help! I'm Ruining My Kids is your invitation to trade defeat and fear for hope and joy as you follow the biblical road map to becoming the mom you're meant to be.

We all desperately want to be good mothers who produce good humans, but our flaws and habits get in the way. We're reactive when we want to be intentional. We check out when we need to be engaged. And at the end of a long day, our minds are often flooded with thoughts of self-condemnation.

Author and mother Abbey Wedgeworth has been there too. But she has an important message to share with fellow Nothing is beyond redemption—not you, not your experience of motherhood, and not your kids' experience of your imperfections.

In Help! I'm Ruining My Kids, Abbey invites you to journey with her toward a place where God's grace frees you from a guilty conscience, his compassion ministers to your past and present hardships, and his Spirit transforms you to look more like Jesus. With refreshing transparency, practical wisdom, and biblical encouragement, Abbey helps you

Identify and accept your personal limits Develop realistic expectations for motherhood Discover how to fight against mom guilt and the shame that comes with it Create a comprehensive action plan for change Learn to parent well as a work in progress The good news is we can change—with a few practical tools and a whole lot of God's grace.

Genres: Parenting, Faith, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Self Help, Christian

240 pages, Paperback

Published March 24, 2026

About the author

Abbey Wedgeworth is a wife, mother, and writer based on the South Carolina coast.

Reviews

[Elizabeth Santelmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read the whole thing because the last chapter made me cry in the best way. This book is the one wish I had when I was starting my walk with God as a mom!! Even 12 years into the journey it was comforting, encouraging, and gave me some new strategies to try.

I almost never recommend parenting books, but Abbey’s willingness to go first and share how the grace of God meets us in low moments shows she really believes it.

I love seeing the things she’s read and the way she has allowed good parenting practices to marry with theology in a relatable and easy to understand way!

She has practical tips, but reminds us over and over that Christ is where we can find our worth. It’s not in how well we clean our house. Not in being perfectly patient all the time. We don’t find it in the way we dress and dress our kids. Parenting is about us realizing we need Jesus and we can point our kids to him everyday.

[Sophie Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, so good. By far the most holistic book on parenting I’ve ever read. Read the whole thing as I cried de-pressurizing tears through the last chapter and acknowledgements. Not sure I could recommend this more highly.

[Ellie (elliehojreads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

All the stars. This book was dripping with gospel truth in parenthood. I will continue to refer back to this again and again!

[Shannon Evanko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. I truly think this is one of the best motherhood books I’ve read, and I’ve read a lot of them.

I think the biggest compliment I could give it is that after every single chapter I thought— “It was worth buying this whole book for that ONE chapter.” But I thought it after every chapter…

I feel refreshed, encouraged, strengthened and renewed in my salvation and ongoing sanctification from the Lord and this calling of motherhood after reading this.

Well done, Abbey. The Lord has given you a high calling to help shape children and other mothers!

[Micaela Lees · Rating 1 out of 5]

I went into it REALLY wanting to like it... and I am hesitant to share my thoughts because I don't know how to not sound really critical and I'm aware that I could be the problem with misplaced expectations--

I almost chucked my phone a few times in the first few chapters because of how she handled the mental health aspect for moms in particular. It felt like she leaned heavilty into a very psychologized view of man and offered little hope outside of the admonition to go to a doctor to have things assessed physically. The first 2 chapters almost felt like an apologetic for why you should see a psychotherapist. I'm guessing that was born of her own struggles, though. Her solutions in those chapters did not provide much in terms of gospel hope and seemed more focused on changing external circumstances and lightening the mother's load-- almost giving the impression that if you do that, things will go better. She did say that wasn't true, but it felt almost like an addendum to her point.

And in a way, she's right. A struggling mom needs a phsycial by her doctor and should change her schedule so she can get more sleep. We must care for our physical bodies. My hormones and iron make my anxiety struggle SO much worse... but they don't excuse it. Many books do overlook that we are embodied people and our bodies do impact us spiritually, so that is good, but I almost felt like I was reading a psychology book with some Christian pieces sprinkled in at the end-- it didn't feel consistent with a biblical worldview. The chapters I read didn't say much about our sin or about Christ-- just a lot of circumstance modification and almost seeking to balance a cocktail of "are all my needs met" because if they are... then I won't fail them. Almost that we're victims of our bodies and our trauma, which is what really needs managed in order to change our parenting (and we need to make sure that is managed in our children as well-- again, not totally wrong)

Perhaps I went into it with the wrong expectations. I was expecting gospel hope in the struggles of parenting. Or (probably very likely), I gave up too early (i made it to chapter 5) and the second half was rich in the truths my heart was craving. I think this is such a contrast to the hope of the Bible as seen in books like 2 Cor. I am weak and I am a sinner. Christ died for sinners and he is my greatest hope. In him, I am dead to my sin no matter how tired I am and while I need to go take a nap and care well for my physical body, what I mean most is redemption and to fight my sin by the power of the Spirit.

[Michele Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give it 10 stars I would. The real life stories, the constant pointing to the gospel, the reminder about physical limitations/our nervous system and remembering how we can contribute to our healthy well-beings. I cried many, many times.

Praise God that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ. If parenting has shown me one thing, I can't parent well enough to wipe the sin out of my children's hearts. I have tried. And I can't plan well enough to avoid it being hard, I have tried! AND I DON'T HAVE TO. I can love my littlest neighbor (wow, loving the people we live WITH is way harder than the ones we live beside!) and point them to Christ while I show them my utter need for Him. Also, when I think about how when I do ____ and ____ I feel so drained that I end up snapping at my kids, who are the ones I am supposed to love the most well!

I have reflected on what triggering moments in motherhood I can better anticipate - transitioning home/getting out of the car is an especially hot point. I have asked for forgiveness and have shown myself more grace. Practical stuff!

This was the best parenting book I have read so far.

[Sydni · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful resource for moms (and dads!) seeking ways to not just fix their kids’ behavior, but work on their own hearts. I have read Abbey’s newsletter for years and love how she applies the gospel so practically to real life situations, and gives you sample scripts for what to say in the moment. I like how the end of each chapter has summaries so you can quickly refresh later.

[Ashley Payne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such good gospel truths for the mom who desires to raise her kids in a Christlike way, but is discouraged by her sin and shortcomings.
I've read motherhood books where the gospel and the motherhood advice were two different sections, i.e. "Chapter 1: Creation, Fall, Redemption, Restoration. Chapter 2: Motherhood Advice". This book seamlessly weaves the two together, in a way that makes it accessible to take and apply the gospel to my parenting every day.
I listened to the audiobook in spurts during nursing sessions, so I want to reread the physical copy at some point as well to give it more of my focused attention.
Highly recommend!

[Abby Haley · Rating 5 out of 5]

“As much as your good work and efforts in motherhood matter, they are not ultimate. God is able. He will accomplish his purposes in your children’s lives no matter what.”

This book is truly a must read for any Christian mom who is fighting to believe that she’s up for the task of motherhood (hello…me). Resting in God’s grace myself is essential before I can extend grace to others, and Abbey did an amazing job of articulating how to do that in the context of motherhood. I’m even more aware of and grateful for God’s sovereignty in the lives of my children after reading this.

[Shelley Owen · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best motherhood book I have read. I have been asking friends who I have shared my inner battles with “WHERE are the motherhood books that are real? The ones that aren’t just talking about goldfish on the ground?”

This is it. After 5 pregnancies and 5 seasons of fighting postpartum rage and anxiety and then the guilt of feeling like wanting to get out of my skin and running away - this book has it. I finally feel seen and given tools that will help me in my parenting journey.

I recommend this book to all moms. It is a breath of fresh air ♥️

[Morgan Blackburn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m both challenged & encouraged! The practical application interwoven with the gospel truth without glazing over the reality of motherhood being hard was just right. Highly recommend!

[Taliah Kendrick]

This is a gospel-centered book, consistently pointing you back to Christ while also taking a holistic approach to motherhood. Abbey also shares vulnerably about the struggles she experiences in motherhood in a way that feels both honest and hopeful.

I loved how it weaves in spiritual disciplines while also offering practical tips and refrains you can come back to in the middle of everyday life. It’s the kind of book you can return to again and again. I would recommend to any mom!

There are discussion questions at the end, perfect for a book club!

To note: In chapter 7, the phrase “loony bin” is used which can feel sensitive for some readers who have needed more intensive mental health care.🫶🏽

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could articulate more clearly how I feel about this book. I truly do not believe I’ve ever read a parenting book that so equally marries practical help with the truth of the gospel. I cried more than once because of the beauty of that truth and the encouragement it was to me. Highly recommended. I’m sure I will revisit in the future.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most helpful books on parenting/motherhood that I’ve ever read. I feel encouraged and also challenged. Every mom could benefit from this book!

[Dani Wilkerson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mostly so biblical and theologically strong, with lots of fantastic suggestions for rhythms and routines to help develop in ourselves and our kids a quick recognition and repentance of sin. Overall, extremely helpful, and I'd like to get a physical copy to mark up and read again.

I would recommend this one with the caveat: one entire chapter is get to the root of and process past traumas. Yes, we are embodied beings, and yes, there are physical steps we can try to take (like nourishment, sleep, movement). But, while being aware of physical triggers and past hurts can be helpful, and learning regulating practices can be tools in the toolbox, they are not imperatives in order to grow in the fruits of the Spirit in motherhood or any other area of life. God is sovereign and He can bring godly growth and change even in situations where nervous system dysregulation is the norm, without having to identify and attach the responses to a past trauma. I did appreciate that the author identified that even in trauma situations, identifying sin as sin and repenting of it is necessary.

[Whitney Hopperton · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 🌟

This is easily one of the best motherhood parenting books I’ve read in a long time. It beautifully and thoughtfully weaves together practical parenting advice with deeply rooted gospel truth, creating something that feels both grounded and transformative. Each chapter stands strong on its own, but together they offer a holistic vision that’s both encouraging and actionable. (Side note - the forward is written by Justin Whitmel Earley and this book reads like mean of his books- which I usually tend to love. If you are a fan of his writing, you will enjoy this book)


One of my favorite aspects of the book is the structure. The end of chapter snapshots make it simple to pause, reflect, and actually apply what you’ve just read. It doesn’t just inspire; it equips.

I genuinely believe this book belongs on every mom’s shelf, especially those in the early years of parenting. It’s the kind of resource you’ll return to again and again, whether you need wisdom in a specific moment or a broader reset in perspective.

Honestly, it would be worth buying for just a single chapter,but having the whole book is a gift. I only wish I had found it sooner.

[Brianna Dreyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t rave about this book enough. This is truly the best “motherhood” book I have read- but really it is more about trusting the Lord with our growth and walking in daily dependence on Him, just happens to be within the context of motherhood. There are multiple times that she explained a truth that I have struggled to understand so simply and clearly it was laughable. Can’t recommend this book more

[Ruthie Kellar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had no doubts this book would be incredibly encouraging and practical, but the last few chapters on practicing repair and trusting the Lord with your kids….😲 actually life changing. So so so thankful for Abbey and her faithfulness to share with the world the wisdom the Lord has given her-will be recommending and buying for literally every mom I know, regardless of where she is in her mothering journey-toddlers or adult children. 1000000/10 extra shiny stars for this book!!!!!

[Charlotte Walpole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an encouraging read as a mom. She gives great practical application, but the repeated emphasis is about our identity in Christ in motherhood. A refreshing read from your more “typical” parenting books.

[Beckisue Knight · Rating 5 out of 5]

“(God’s)ability to redeem my children far outweighs my ability to ruin my children.”

This was the reminder I needed! It isn’t all about or up to me.

[Frances Eaves · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful read. Will be returning to this one!

[Meredith Elmore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will recommend this book to every mom I know. The truths we all need to be reminded of. I listened and will definitely go back to read a hard copy so I can chew a little longer on several ideas.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a no questions asked 5 star book for me, a rating I don't often give out. I have never read a parenting book that has spoken to my heart, challenged and encouraged me so much. Abbey's writing style is easy to read. It is not over your head thoughts that are hard to understand. Real life stories (some very vulnerable) from her with real life application for me. She clearly points to Jesus throughout the book. The conclusion brought tears to my eyes. I appreciated the concrete application she gave that can be put into practice right away. The Parenting Connection, Believe It For Your Motherhood, and Apply It To Your Parenting were great ways to end each chapter. I am excited to use the discussion questions that are included at the end of the book, no extra purchase needed. Don't ask me how much I underlined in this book...it was a lot! If you are on the fence about if you should read this book, you should! I have bought multiple copies to give to friends.

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Help! I’m Ruining My Kids was everything I hoped it would be and found me at just the right moment when I needed encouragement in motherhood. Abbey writes with the perfect blend of grace and truth, acknowledging our human weaknesses without shame, but also pointing us to hope in Christ’s righteousness as the source of lasting change. While the world wants to tell us, “You’re perfect just as you are,” the gospel tells us that God loves us too much to leave us as we are. What good news! If you find the exposing nature of motherhood to be disheartening, if you’ve ever wondered if you’re ruining your kids, pick this up and be encouraged—God is at work in you.

[Rachelle Cobb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend to all moms! This book is one of my top favorites on parenting and motherhood. Encouraging and convicting, this book will turn your eyes toward Christ and give you a gospel lens through which to glimpse and guide your ordinary days. I'm a big fan of Abbey's high view of Scripture, solid advice, and all her work (I have several of her refrains memorized with my children!) and look forward to future books.

[Allyn Oliver · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars. Faith based parenting book. While this is probably geared or maybe best for moms in the thick of it with younger kiddos, I have two teen boys and found lots of great advice and tidbits. I really appreciated the examples and stories the author shares- she’s very relatable and real. I listened to the audio and while I wish I had the book to highlight and mark it up, I enjoyed her voice. If you have struggling moms in your life, definitely share this book with them!

Thanks to the publisher and Libro.fm for the ALC.

[Lauren Meyers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am extremely picky about parenting books, and it’s hard to make me cry (unless I’m singing a worship song), so believe me when I say - this parenting book encouraged me in the gospel so well that it made me cry with joy at the beauty of the gospel applied to my imperfect parenting, and encouraged me to continue on in the good work God has called me to in parenting my three young children and reminded me and gave me specific new application tools to allow the Holy Spirt to work through me to raise the children He gave to me. (Would Paul be proud of my long-winded sentence?) I am not surprised that the author of some of my kids’ favorite gospel centered children’s books (which I have gifted and recommended to many of our friends) and author of one of the most encouraging Instagram accounts I follow wrote a book so gospel centered and encouraging. I was happy to spend a precious audiobook credit on this listen and am recommending to all my Christian mom friends and am requesting our local library adds a copy! The Holy Spirit, the Bible, my husband and my local church family are the best help to my parenting, but I am grateful for this book as well. Thank you for the encouragement, Abbey! ♥️

[A Good Book Hunt · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’ve ever walked away from an interaction with your kids and thought, “why did I just respond like that?” or “this is not the kind of mom I want to be,” this book will meet you right there.

Help! I’m Ruining My Kids by Abbey Wedgeworth is one I have been recommending again and again to all my mom friends. It is written for the mom who worries about how her sins and shortcomings are affecting her kids and wonders how to move forward.

From the beginning, the purpose of the book is clear: to help moms see the goodness of Jesus and the transforming power of His grace in their motherhood. And that thread of hope is carried all the way through.

Abbey writes about those moments when we feel caught off guard by our own reactions and the gap between who we want to be and how we are actually showing up. But she does not leave readers stuck in guilt or shame.

The reminder that nothing is beyond redemption and that Christ is our Redeemer changes the way we approach even our hardest moments in motherhood.

Instead of staying stuck in self-condemnation, she helps moms grow in awareness by looking underneath their reactions and considering what they are loving, fearing, or trying to control in those moments. And then, consistently and faithfully, she brings it back to the gospel.

The structure of the book also makes it especially helpful. It is divided into three parts: understanding the mom you are, becoming the mom you want to be, and learning to parent well as a work in progress. Each chapter ends with simple, practical prompts to both believe truth for your motherhood and apply it to your parenting, which makes it easy to put into practice. There are also discussion questions at the end, making it a great option for small groups or reading with friends.

It is incredibly practical, with tangible tools to help you slow down, notice patterns, consider your limits, and make small changes that support real growth.

What stood out most to me, though, is the compassion in her writing. Her heart is so transparent as one of wanting moms to find freedom in Christ rather than in condemnation from themselves or others. She doesn’t ignore sin and the importance of loving our children well, but she also doesn’t leave moms feeling crushed by it.

If you are feeling stuck in cycles of frustration or guilt, or simply wondering how to grow in this area, I would wholeheartedly recommend this book. It’s a must-read.

*I received a review copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

[Darcy Seiler · Rating 5 out of 5]

"At the core of my fears regarding how my actions will impact my kids is a desire to save them"

Bingo. And Abbey so faithfully helps her readers to looks again and again to the only One who truly can save both kids and imperfect moms. She offers strong gospel hope as well as very practical, actionable steps that will help us move forward as we seek to be moms who are truly changed and freed by the extravagant grace of God in Christ. This book strikes a beautiful balance of offering theologically rich truths along with practical help for both our bodies and our hearts. I love the "saint/sinner/sufferer" paradigm and the reminder that apart from grace and repentance, nothing will ever truly change.

"Ultimately, it is confidence in God's ability to redeem and to heal that will give you hope for your kids apart from your own performance as a mom."

[Jennifer Gossett · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’ve ever found yourself overwhelmed in motherhood and less patient with your kids than you’d like to be, this book is for you. Every page is full of gospel hope for weary moms who just want to love and lead their children well but often feel as though they are failing. Though far from what I would call a how-to or self-help book, each chapter provides practical ways to apply the gospel to our daily lives. I’ve always loved Abbey’s Instagram content for this reason - the Lord has given her such wisdom and insight and she shares it with such grace. Read this book and then pass it along to another mom who needs to hear that she isn’t alone.