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Napa Lowdown: Battle at the Border
A satire/spoof of California's Napa Valley, couched in a tongue-in-cheek detective/noir style. This fanciful Napa is actually a Duchy, known not just for excellent wines, but for toxic river kayaking, exquisite food-truck cuisine, and world-class bondage parlors. Everyone and everything is a little shady in this Napa, including the exotic dancers who dance on table tops at IHOP and in the Dukeway Supermarket.
The Duke, now old and paranoid, has decided that only Napa wines are good enough to be served within the Duchy's borders—all others, from anywhere in the world, are forbidden. He is demanding better border protection and even begins insisting on having a wall built around the Duchy's perimeter to discourage smugglers, but sure enough, cheap wine begins popping up all over, anyway.
Captain Don and Sergeant Sandy, who run the Border Patrol, are on the hot seat. Either they catch the shadowy smugglers within a week, or the Duke swears he will have them working security at the municipal car wash.
So who is bringing the cheap stuff in, against the Duke's wishes?
Captain Don and Sergeant Sandy launch a desperate search for answers—diving into the dark corners of Napa's festering underbelly to find the smugglers and save their jobs.
The Duke, now old and paranoid, has decided that only Napa wines are good enough to be served within the Duchy's borders—all others, from anywhere in the world, are forbidden. He is demanding better border protection and even begins insisting on having a wall built around the Duchy's perimeter to discourage smugglers, but sure enough, cheap wine begins popping up all over, anyway.
Captain Don and Sergeant Sandy, who run the Border Patrol, are on the hot seat. Either they catch the shadowy smugglers within a week, or the Duke swears he will have them working security at the municipal car wash.
So who is bringing the cheap stuff in, against the Duke's wishes?
Captain Don and Sergeant Sandy launch a desperate search for answers—diving into the dark corners of Napa's festering underbelly to find the smugglers and save their jobs.
116 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 25, 2025
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