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But If Not: Finding God in Unmet Expectations and Unwanted Detours
Though we all have hopes for our lives, we often find ourselves taking unexpected detours—developing skills and talents we never envisioned, going in different directions than we planned, and feeling pain and loss we couldn’t have imagined. Despite our diligence and obedience to God, we may find the path we hoped for is no longer passable or our strength is not sufficient to enable us to continue. How can we manage an unknown future amid unmet expectations, particularly when it seems that God has left us on our own? How can we find God when we feel distant from Him?
With trust in God’s plan of happiness, His word, and His healing balm, beloved author Camille Fronk Olson explores how the consequences of living in a fallen world, our own mortality and personal agency, and unfounded gospel interpretations sometimes take us on unexpected detours. As we strive to understand the will of God, and with faith in His love for us and the power of Jesus Christ’s Atonement, our unmet expectations can lead us to needed blessings in our ultimate desire to become like Him.
With trust in God’s plan of happiness, His word, and His healing balm, beloved author Camille Fronk Olson explores how the consequences of living in a fallen world, our own mortality and personal agency, and unfounded gospel interpretations sometimes take us on unexpected detours. As we strive to understand the will of God, and with faith in His love for us and the power of Jesus Christ’s Atonement, our unmet expectations can lead us to needed blessings in our ultimate desire to become like Him.
- GenresLds
128 pages, Hardcover
Published August 4, 2025
20 people are currently reading
159 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
September 18, 2025
I definitely will have to read this one again and really take notes and pay attention. I loved her thoughts on this subject. Many things I have wondered about for years. I loved her examples in the scriptures.
September 8, 2025
This is a great book to give you hope when things don't work out how you planned.
October 15, 2025
Notes:
The covenant path contains the same essential covenants and ordinances for all but the shape length and circuitousness of the path differ for each one of us.
What happens when our expectations are tied to promised blessings in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and yet evade fulfillment? Despite our diligence and obedience to God, we find our path is no longer passable. Our strength is not sufficient to enable us to continue, or we reach the door at the top of the incline only to find. Is closed and locked. In a disconnected curves between what we believe, God promises, and what we receive, our happiness level can plummet while our disillusionment with divine dictates can mushroom exponentially. How can we understand the gap between our expectations and our reality through the lens of the restored gospel? Did God block my way on the path, and if so, why? Did I misunderstand the directions and therefore take a wrong turn? Someone choose to close the door and shut me out. Can they do that? Does God allow that? Or did some natural phenomenon damage the path and impede my progression? If I do my part, isn't God bound to give me my righteous desires?
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego put their trust in God. Their trusting God was more fully grounded in their humble awareness that God knew more than they did and whatever He did would be for their benefit. It was not dependent on mortal outcomes. It was not conditioned on God's response to their desires. Their response to a very bad situation underscores true faith in the Lord. But if not. And my faith be equally unshakeable when the outcome doesn't materialize as I expected. Can I be like meShach, Shadrach and Abednego and not forsake him?
On the eve of my high school graduation, some friends and I sat down to envision our futures. We thought that scene through the next 10 years would pretty much describe the rest of our lives. Considering each of us one by one. We guessed the number of years before marriage, professions of our husbands, the number of children each of us would have, and the distance from our hometown we would live to raise our families. Then i wrote down an additional handful expectations for me including skills i've mastered and ways that would make a difference in society in the future. After 10 years elapsed, not one of my expectations had materialized. It would be closer to 30 years before anything on my list occurred, with the great majority of my expectations unfulfilled. Most of our expectations as teenagers focused on skills and roles that we discussed in our church mutual classes. In our mind, these goals were exactly what God wanted for each of his daughters, and we were happy to fulfill his dream for us. But the unexpected happen in our lives took different turns than we foresaw. For three in our group, serious disease shorten our lives. For another infidelity ended her marriage another adopted her children because of infertility, another. Suffered significant financial loss. Another Bora chilled child with disabilities. Another watched her children leave the religion she loved. And I didn't even get a marriage proposal, let alone Mary. Was there something wrong with what we expected and planned for in life?
I remember hearing about a member of the church living in Russia who reads the Book of Mormon every year so that he won't be surprised when bad things happen to good people. The truth is, you can look at any book of scripture and any era of history and find the same reality. Bad things are always happening to good people, including you and me. So why does it surprise us? Where is it recorded in Scripture that God promises a life void of strife and unpleasant surprises if we love and obey Him? Where is it taught that by keeping the commandments of God, we are ensured that our prayers are answered at the time and in the way we request? Therefore, why do we lose faith in blame God when that doesn't happen?
A well known and OFT repeated promise in the Book of Mormon, if taken out of context, can lead to a faulty interpretation of this doctrine, just as the rich young ruler experienced. The familiar passage is Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, you shall prosper in the land, but inasmuch as you will keep not my commandments, you shall be cut off from my presence. Without any context or accompanying examples in the Book of Mormon, it is natural to conclude that God is promising in the life of ease and material wealth if we will simply keep His commandments. In whatever naive way we may choose to define keeping the commandments. How did the Book of Mormon prophets understand God's promise of prosperity? Does it agree with the way of today's society? Use of the term? A strain of modern Christianity, often called the prosperity gospel gospel, subscribes to this faulty interpretation. It claims that God rewards the faithful with wealth, health and happiness in response to their positive declarations and financial donations to religious causes, financial success, and physical well-being. I then seen as evidence of righteousness and receipt of God's favor. According to this false explanation of the gospel, lack of health and wealth advertises the believer's failure to receive God's approval.
This scripture as a mathematical structure. What then is opposite of prospering in the land being cut off from God's presence? Therefore, what does it mean to prosper in the land not being cut off from God's presence? Having the Lord's presence in our daily life through the companionship of the Holy Ghost is the promise the Lord gives to. All those who sincerely strive to remember him and keep his commandments. We hear this correlation between obedience and receiving the Spirit every single week in the sacrament prayers when we renew our covenants with God.
Do we ever find ourselves expecting more of others in the Church than we do of ourselves?
A house doesn't survive in a storm because the house is strong. It also doesn't survive just because the rock is strong. The house survives the storm because it is firmly attached to that strong rock. It is the strength of the connection that matters.
I even found this truth taught in Hollywood movies. Groundhog Day humorously portrays the various possible outcomes if you could live the same day repeatedly. In it, a weather man named Phil Connors considers himself the talent in every podcast and believes that anyone is fortunate to be in his shadow. He is cocky, inconsiderate, and cynical. When he finds himself forced to relive the same day hundreds or possibly even thousands of times, he realizes that he is the only one who remembers what anyone said or did when the same day reopens on the Morrow. And this cyclical. In Surreal World, Phil Connors experiments with manipulation, robbery, gluttony, a drunk driving spree, and every other self indulgent behavior because there are no consequences. Sensing no lasting joy or fulfillment from living his day that way, over time and through trial and error, Phil Karnish begins using the day to develop new skills. In experiments with compassionate responses to people he repeatedly encounters along the way, Filled figures out what is most important in life. He becomes a new creature, not just one who is at play acting, but one who is new from the inside out. He chooses to change. He chooses to live each day with respect, compassion, and honor. Instead, with selfishness, lust and greed, and he finally feels truly happy. In a related way, every new day gives us the invitation to learn from the consequences from our actions the day before. We can choose to repent and change. In other words, we can repent every day and start anew.
Remember that the root word for chasten is chaste god's pruning leads us to be pure nobler and better than we were before.
The best way to learn to love my family in a Christ like way would be to serve them without expectations that they would validate my worth in return. Serving without expectations is Christlike service.
The covenant path contains the same essential covenants and ordinances for all but the shape length and circuitousness of the path differ for each one of us.
What happens when our expectations are tied to promised blessings in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and yet evade fulfillment? Despite our diligence and obedience to God, we find our path is no longer passable. Our strength is not sufficient to enable us to continue, or we reach the door at the top of the incline only to find. Is closed and locked. In a disconnected curves between what we believe, God promises, and what we receive, our happiness level can plummet while our disillusionment with divine dictates can mushroom exponentially. How can we understand the gap between our expectations and our reality through the lens of the restored gospel? Did God block my way on the path, and if so, why? Did I misunderstand the directions and therefore take a wrong turn? Someone choose to close the door and shut me out. Can they do that? Does God allow that? Or did some natural phenomenon damage the path and impede my progression? If I do my part, isn't God bound to give me my righteous desires?
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego put their trust in God. Their trusting God was more fully grounded in their humble awareness that God knew more than they did and whatever He did would be for their benefit. It was not dependent on mortal outcomes. It was not conditioned on God's response to their desires. Their response to a very bad situation underscores true faith in the Lord. But if not. And my faith be equally unshakeable when the outcome doesn't materialize as I expected. Can I be like meShach, Shadrach and Abednego and not forsake him?
On the eve of my high school graduation, some friends and I sat down to envision our futures. We thought that scene through the next 10 years would pretty much describe the rest of our lives. Considering each of us one by one. We guessed the number of years before marriage, professions of our husbands, the number of children each of us would have, and the distance from our hometown we would live to raise our families. Then i wrote down an additional handful expectations for me including skills i've mastered and ways that would make a difference in society in the future. After 10 years elapsed, not one of my expectations had materialized. It would be closer to 30 years before anything on my list occurred, with the great majority of my expectations unfulfilled. Most of our expectations as teenagers focused on skills and roles that we discussed in our church mutual classes. In our mind, these goals were exactly what God wanted for each of his daughters, and we were happy to fulfill his dream for us. But the unexpected happen in our lives took different turns than we foresaw. For three in our group, serious disease shorten our lives. For another infidelity ended her marriage another adopted her children because of infertility, another. Suffered significant financial loss. Another Bora chilled child with disabilities. Another watched her children leave the religion she loved. And I didn't even get a marriage proposal, let alone Mary. Was there something wrong with what we expected and planned for in life?
I remember hearing about a member of the church living in Russia who reads the Book of Mormon every year so that he won't be surprised when bad things happen to good people. The truth is, you can look at any book of scripture and any era of history and find the same reality. Bad things are always happening to good people, including you and me. So why does it surprise us? Where is it recorded in Scripture that God promises a life void of strife and unpleasant surprises if we love and obey Him? Where is it taught that by keeping the commandments of God, we are ensured that our prayers are answered at the time and in the way we request? Therefore, why do we lose faith in blame God when that doesn't happen?
A well known and OFT repeated promise in the Book of Mormon, if taken out of context, can lead to a faulty interpretation of this doctrine, just as the rich young ruler experienced. The familiar passage is Inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, you shall prosper in the land, but inasmuch as you will keep not my commandments, you shall be cut off from my presence. Without any context or accompanying examples in the Book of Mormon, it is natural to conclude that God is promising in the life of ease and material wealth if we will simply keep His commandments. In whatever naive way we may choose to define keeping the commandments. How did the Book of Mormon prophets understand God's promise of prosperity? Does it agree with the way of today's society? Use of the term? A strain of modern Christianity, often called the prosperity gospel gospel, subscribes to this faulty interpretation. It claims that God rewards the faithful with wealth, health and happiness in response to their positive declarations and financial donations to religious causes, financial success, and physical well-being. I then seen as evidence of righteousness and receipt of God's favor. According to this false explanation of the gospel, lack of health and wealth advertises the believer's failure to receive God's approval.
This scripture as a mathematical structure. What then is opposite of prospering in the land being cut off from God's presence? Therefore, what does it mean to prosper in the land not being cut off from God's presence? Having the Lord's presence in our daily life through the companionship of the Holy Ghost is the promise the Lord gives to. All those who sincerely strive to remember him and keep his commandments. We hear this correlation between obedience and receiving the Spirit every single week in the sacrament prayers when we renew our covenants with God.
Do we ever find ourselves expecting more of others in the Church than we do of ourselves?
A house doesn't survive in a storm because the house is strong. It also doesn't survive just because the rock is strong. The house survives the storm because it is firmly attached to that strong rock. It is the strength of the connection that matters.
I even found this truth taught in Hollywood movies. Groundhog Day humorously portrays the various possible outcomes if you could live the same day repeatedly. In it, a weather man named Phil Connors considers himself the talent in every podcast and believes that anyone is fortunate to be in his shadow. He is cocky, inconsiderate, and cynical. When he finds himself forced to relive the same day hundreds or possibly even thousands of times, he realizes that he is the only one who remembers what anyone said or did when the same day reopens on the Morrow. And this cyclical. In Surreal World, Phil Connors experiments with manipulation, robbery, gluttony, a drunk driving spree, and every other self indulgent behavior because there are no consequences. Sensing no lasting joy or fulfillment from living his day that way, over time and through trial and error, Phil Karnish begins using the day to develop new skills. In experiments with compassionate responses to people he repeatedly encounters along the way, Filled figures out what is most important in life. He becomes a new creature, not just one who is at play acting, but one who is new from the inside out. He chooses to change. He chooses to live each day with respect, compassion, and honor. Instead, with selfishness, lust and greed, and he finally feels truly happy. In a related way, every new day gives us the invitation to learn from the consequences from our actions the day before. We can choose to repent and change. In other words, we can repent every day and start anew.
Remember that the root word for chasten is chaste god's pruning leads us to be pure nobler and better than we were before.
The best way to learn to love my family in a Christ like way would be to serve them without expectations that they would validate my worth in return. Serving without expectations is Christlike service.
November 24, 2025
Someone let me borrow this book and I really enjoyed it. It was a pretty short book but I felt like that was helpful. It got straight to the point and it was an easy read. It made the topic simple to understand. I feel like this book is helpful in identifying ways where we may place expectations on God or the gospel that are not realities. It was a good eye opener for me and helped me realize that it is possible to be happy and fulfilled even if life doesn't go exactly how I expect it to. The joy of life is in the journey and not the destination.
November 14, 2025
This book, written by a retired Chair of Ancient Scripture at BYU, and popular speaker, helps to put into perspective the difficulties we have in life, and puts to rest some faulty ways of thinking that may have led us to think that bad things shouldn't happen to good people. Super short, but helpful.
September 22, 2025
Good book with wonderful principles. I just felt like I wanted more depth and more content. I wanted it to be longer, with more things that can bring me comfort in my “But if not” times.
All in all, I still plan on buying this book for a friend of mine who’s struggling. It’s a good book.
All in all, I still plan on buying this book for a friend of mine who’s struggling. It’s a good book.
September 23, 2025
Good book. Had issues with the audiobook though. As a result I don’t remember the first part of the book enough to remark. I’m grateful things haven’t worked out how I wanted them to, my life is so much better than I imagined and that is thanks to heavenly father’s plan for me.
October 13, 2025
thoughtful and encouraging
The topic of ‘why suffering’ has been front and center of late. Thus this book has been helpful in growing in understanding and how to handle various unwanted and unexpected (leading to unprepared for) things happening in the world.
The topic of ‘why suffering’ has been front and center of late. Thus this book has been helpful in growing in understanding and how to handle various unwanted and unexpected (leading to unprepared for) things happening in the world.
August 25, 2025
Well researched in the scriptures, and answers some tough questions with honesty. Recommend for sure.
September 3, 2025
Excellent!!
September 7, 2025
Very good thoughts and insights as to view ourselves and improve our relationship with Jesus Christ
September 10, 2025
Camille Fronk Olson is one of my favorite authors and teachers and this book does not disappoint. I absolutely loved the ideas discussed in this book and highly recommend this to all.
September 23, 2025
Good book. Unfortunately, not many notes because my mind was elsewhere due to having lost my job and actively looking for another.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 23, 2025
A quick read. Good reminder that things in life don't always work out how we hope and plan, but we can get through our trials and lean on God.
September 23, 2025
Excellent.
Read
September 30, 2025A quick one to listen to with some great insights.
October 21, 2025
I love Camille's take and advice on how to navigate unmet expectations through The Gospel of Jesus Christ. It seems to be a topic we can all relate to.
October 27, 2025
A quick read filled with great reminders and even offered a new way of looking at various gospel stories and topics that I hadn't thought of before.
November 3, 2025
This was a good look at what we can do when the unexpected happens in our lives.
November 5, 2025
Fantastic book. I'm ready to read it again. There is so much to ponder!
November 6, 2025
Libby. What’s fantastic on. Love every chapter. Thank you for such special input
November 14, 2025
Loved this! Want to get a hard copy to Mark up!
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews